Brian took a seat on one of the street benches, staring absently at the passing traffic. The headlights reflected off the street signs, practically blinding him. He pulled his coat closed tighter, straightening up in his seat.

There were only two thing stopping Brian from going to Michael. Well... only one if he didn't count the fact that Michael wasn't speaking to him. It was that he was at a complete loss for words. It wasn't a common thing for Brian to be speechless, but at this moment, he actually was. For the first time, it wasn't all about sex, and it wasn't about Brian. This was about Michael. He had always been sincere, and open and he had been there for Brian through everything.

Maybe Brian had been blind for all these years. Maybe, he didn't see how Michael felt because he was afraid to, not that he would ever admit it. But now, at that moment, sitting on the bench, Brian could see. It was all finally crystal clear to him what he had thrown away. Michael was more than a friend. Even though Brian had never said it out loud, he could admit it to himself. He loved Michael more than anyone in the world, loved him more than just a friend. The only person he could ever love and truly be loved by in return.

Brian took a look at his watch, rubbing his eyes. Sitting out in the cold wasn't doing him any good. All if was doing was helping him freeze to death. He stood from the bench, crossing the street, turning back in the direction from which he came.

Sunday all the lights of London
Shining , Sky is fading red to blue
I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves
And wondering where it is you might be going to

Brian couldn't tell if the sun was beginning to rise, or just the drugs wearing off, but the sky seemed to be giving off such a wonderful glow. Vibrant reds and blues that seemed to meld together. He thought for a moment... maybe leaving his jeep hadn't been such a good idea. But even then he stopped himself. Michael would have kept him from driving home. Perhaps it was better that Brian wasn't driving.

Brian shook his head. The third date. If Michael and the good doctor hadn't fucked yet, Brian would have some serious questioning to do. He sighed. Mikey was probably waking up with David right now. Brian didn't want to think about it.

It took him quite some time to manage to maneuver his way back to the building on the corner of Tremont. He slowly approached the stairs to the entrance, coming to an abrupt halt. He couldn't believe his eyes. He didn't know if he could trust what he was seeing. He slowly ascended the first few steps.

"Hey," Michael said getting to his feet.

Turning back for home
You know I'm feeling so alone
I can't believe
Climbing on the stair
I turn around to see you smiling there
In front of me

"Mikey?" Brian said. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Christ," Michael folded his arms tightly around himself. "Nice to see you too." He sighed. "I went by Babylon... checked the backroom, but you weren't there, so I figured.... you'd come back here sooner or later." Michael looked around. "You're alone?"

"You're surprised?"

Michael laughed. "Well yeah," he said. "Run out of guys?"

"What are you doing here Mikey?" Brian asked, walking past him to get in out of the cold. Michael followed him as they stepped onto the elevator and began the ride to the sixth floor.

"Well you left about a hundred messages on my cellphone." Michael said. "I figured this was better than returning each of your calls."

Brian waited for the elevator to come to a halt, stepping off and approaching the door to his loft. "Way it sounded, you had no intention of calling me back." Brian entered shadowed by Michael.

"Well that didn't stop you from leaving messages," Michael laughed.

Brian went to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of water. "Shouldn't you be somewhere? Home playing house with David?"

Michael bit his bottom lip. "I um... I told David that.... I couldn't see him anymore."

Brian was silent for a moment. "Why the fuck did you do that?"

"I hate fighting with you," Michael admitted. "This is the longest we've ever gone without talking to eachother..." he paused. "I've known David for what, like four days? I've known you my whole life. I love you too much to have our friendship go to hell over any guy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is.... I'm sorry for being a jackass and for jumping all over you."

"No," Brian said.

Michael was awe struck. "No?"

"No," Brian took a seat beside Michael. "I'm the one that..." he paused. "You make a mental note of this because it the first and last time you'll every hear me say anything like it... and if you tell anyone, I'll deny it to my grave." Brian paused again. "I was the jackass. I pushed you to this... breaking point."

Michael smiled. When it came down to it, Brian Kinney wore sincerity well. "Apology accepted. So now we can... go back to giving eachother hell and not ripping eachother's heads off." he laughed.

"Mikey..." Brian said. "I owe you...."

"You don't owe me anything." Michael cupped Brian's cheek. "You can't go all emotional on me now, not after sixteen years of that no excuses no regrets bullshit." he paused. "David was a pretty decent guy butwhen you come right down to it, I wasn't all that happy with him."

"All I ever want is for you to be happy, Mikey," Brian said.

"I know" Michael said. "You tell me all the time. You've told me since we were kids. Maybe... I'm just looking in the wrong place. I'm looking for the wrong things. Maybe I've put too much faith in that There's somebody out there for everybody' garbage."

"It's not garbage," Brian said.

Michael laughed. "Says the great Brian Kinney. To whom commitment is just a non-existent word. I know you don't believe it."

"Yeah, says you."

Michael couldn't contain his laughter. "Now I have heard it all." he said. "You've had everybody in Pittsburgh, any luck yet in finding the guy?"

"Maybe" Brian said,

"You're gonna kill me, you know that." Michael laughed. "OK, OK," he managed to stifle the giggles. "Who's the lucky guy who got Brian Kinney to consider giving up the title of the Stud of Liberty Avenue? Give me a name."

"I can give you more than that," Brian said. He leaned over on the sofa, capturing Michael's lips with his own. For a moment, Michael was caught off guard, unable to move, but came alive feeling the warmness of Brian's tongue press against his own.

Michael let his eyes flutter shut as Brian leaned him back, one leg hanging off the sofa, the other between Michael's. "Wait," Michael said against Brian's lips. "Brian...wait..."Brian pulled back slowly, letting his forehead rest against Michael's. "I don't want to be just another notch in your bedpost," he said "I don't want to be just another fuck to you."

Brian sighed. "Don't you know me better than that?"

"Better than anyone," Michael said softly. "I think that's what scares me."

"Then you know... that I love you." Brian said. Michael was silent at his words. "You've been there more for me than anyone else ever has my entire life. I can't even count how many times you've saved me from myself. You're my best friend. And I love you more than anything. Always have, always will."He paused. "I would never hurt you Mikey."

"I know," Michael said. "and your happiness is just as important to me as mine is to you."

"And do you want to know what makes me happier than anything?"

"More than your car and your thousand dollar suits?"Michael smiled.

"You," Brian said. "The way you are who you are and to hell with the world."

"I could say the same about you. You've told the world to go fuck itself on more than a few occasions."

"The truth is Mikey... I'm a selfish son of a bitch."

Michael laughed. "There's the Brian we all know and love."

"I don't want you to go around dating these other guys."

"Other guys?" Michael said. "I've dated maybe three guys in six years."

"And you weren't happy with any of them."

"No, I wasn't." Michael admitted. "I couldn't be." Brian looked at him. "When I was with them I was always thinking... of you." Michael laughed, embarrassed. "This is getting kinda awkward," he sat.

"Mikey," Brian said. "This is taking a lot for me to say, so just..." he paused. "None of the guys I've been with meant anything to me. I fuck them for the sake of fucking them. And then I'd throw them out. I didn't want to see their faces in the morning. I didn't even want to know that they had been here. You know that." Michael nodded. "With you... you're the only person I ever really loved. I mean it, in the true sense of the word."

"I love you too, Brian." Michael said.

"And I was... I was jealous of those guys... the ones you dated," he admitted. "Because they got the one thing I wanted... to be with you."

"Brian, Christ, you're starting to sound like Mel and Lindsay."

"I want you to stay, Mikey." Brian said. "I want to wake up with you in the morning and know that you've been here. But I'll leave it up to you."

Michael straightened in his seat, looking over at Brian. He knew it had taken a lot for Brian to be so sentimental, to shed his true feeling and not hold anything back. And it was a relief to Michael knowing that the feelings he had held onto for so long were mutual. He let his eyes catch Brian's, reading the sincerity in them before cradling Brian's cheeks in his hands, leaning in and pressing their lips together.

Emmett had been right. There was somebody out there for everyone, and he had been right under Michael's nose... for sixteen years. Brian had gotten his answer.


If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt

Let go your heart

Let go your head

and feel it now

Let go your heart

Let go your head

and feel it now

Babylon