Choices
A New Look in His Eyes
Chapter 4
Despite the horrible way his head pounded, Yami found himself proud of the way he made Kaiba's face twist into shock. He let his eyes fall to the younger Kaiba, who was just as shocked, if not more, by Yami's revelation.
"Mokuba, will you leave me and Yami alone to talk for a minute?"
The dark haired boy nodded slightly and left the room casting one last glace at the spirit.
Yami saw as Kaiba stalked towards him and the next thing he knew, he was being carried to a different location. He closed his eyes, not having the strength to question Kaiba's actions nor to fight them. Kaiba put him none too gently on the bed he currently occupied, causing him to gasp out in pain.
"You want to run that by me again?"
"I. Have. No. Pulse."
Seto looked down at the spirit and narrowed his eyes. "You're testing me, Yami."
Yami shrugs and looks down at the ground. "It is the truth, Kaiba. I am dead, been such for a while now, don't pretend you never knew the dead don't have pulses."
"For someone's who dead, you take the news rather well."
Yami laughed slightly and shrugged. "I've had a lot of time to think on it already."
Kaiba nodded, his mind wondering what had just happened. They sounded... like friends. I feeling he never expected to feel between him and Yami. "So you have." He sighs and looks around the room. "So, I suppose this will have to happen the hard way.
"Sorry... I didn't come here with the intention of making your life difficult."
He nodded and turned away from him. "I have... a proposition to make you, Yami."
"Oh?"
"I propose that we take this time to learn about each other. I believe that we can be friends."
Yami looked up at Kaiba shocked. "Rivals turned friends? That's a bit much for even I to believe."
Kaiba growled and turned around, glaring down at Yami. "This is serious, Yami. I'm not going to pretend the situation won't be odd at first, but it's a start; to make all our lives happier."
"People just don't say 'let's be friends' and then it happens. It takes commitment and trust on both parts."
"I'm willing to do that. If you are, too. This works two-ways, Yami. If you're not willing, then I won't bother with it."
Yami blinked as the thought ran through his head. True, he could be friends with Kaiba; that would at least take care of his strong disliking of his aibou dating him. But would that help with his attraction to his aibou? If things remained the same as they are, aibou would continue dating Kaiba and he would continue loving his aibou. There must be a catch somewhere. Both results were the same. He voiced this opinion and was greatly startled when he felt a hand smack the side of his face. "Oh, GREAT way to start off a friendship, Kaiba."
"How could you only think of yourself? You know how happy Yuugi would be to have you back? I think it would mean even more than him and I being together."
He rubbed his cheek and lowered his eyes. "I've told you, he is strong. He will forget about me eventually. That is better than having a love-sick fool follow after him constantly. I've hidden my emotions for a long time now. If anything I deserve to wallow in my own heartbreak."
"Yami, you're being unreasonable—"
"No, Kaiba, that's incorrect. I'm being selfish for once. Instead of putting others before me, I'm putting myself before them. Something I rarely do. So, I'm saying this: I don't want to feel the pain of living with someone I love more than anything. I'd rather leave it all and deal with my pain away from him."
"But Yuugi—"
"He will live and make you very happy. It hurts to admit that you will be on the receiving end of his love and not me, but it is the truth." He looks away and down at his hands. "I just want to heal and carry on."
Seto nodded, understanding the need just to do what you want. "I respect you for that. It takes a lot of courage to do what you want to do, but—"
"But it takes even more courage to meet life head on? I'm sick of doing that, Kaiba. I've tried hiding it. I knew as long as he didn't know, we could continue as we always were. Now he knows. Instead of having nightmares of his decreasing like for me, I can have dreams of his care for me. His worry. I want to remember our relationship like that. Not the deteriorating friendship it's bound to turn into." He took in a deep, shaking breath, willing himself not to break down.
"And of course, he doesn't know of any of this."
"Of course not," he replies softly. "Nor should he know."
Kaiba sighed. "I'm going to lose him. And you're going to be the cause of it. He loves you more than you realize. For someone who's supposed to be very close you him, you can't see all of his feelings. True friends don't give up on each other. I learned that from Yuugi. If you and he share such a deep connection, I'd bet my company he will look for you until his dying day."
Yami shook his head. "Please, Kaiba, I hear my own conscience telling me the same thing. You're an echo of what I already know."
"There's a line between selfish and stubborn and you just crossed it. You want Yuugi to be happy? But then you want to disappear out of his life. You can't have it both ways."
"So, what? You want to magically become friends. Develop an imaginary love and we can all be happy?"
"Yami-"
"Kaiba, let's just stick to the original deal. I get better and I'll leave. Yuugi's all yours Kaiba. He deserves to be with the one who makes him the happiest."
Seto threw a glare at Yami and turned on his heal, walking towards the door. "You're blind, Yami. I thought I was blind to love. But I honestly believe you'll never see it." He exited the room, leaving a slightly mad and confused Pharaoh in bed.
"Aibou..."
---
Kaiba growled as he sat down at his desk, pushing the power button for the monitor. His thoughts never left Yami after he left the room. Not being able to quiet his thoughts, he loaded up a game of Freecell. A game that made him focus on it rather than anything else if he wanted to win.
And Kaiba Seto always wanted to win.
Minutes later, the box popped up telling him he had lost. Angrily, he closed the program and turned the monitor off.
What had caused him to lose his concentration? No, he knew. It was the 3000 year old former Pharaoh upstairs in the guestroom.
Now he had "what" down, it was time to figure out "why". He sighed and shook his head. It was useless pondering over it. Yami would be gone soon. And Yuugi would be his until the smaller one decided to break up. At least he'd have the last precious moments with Yuugi alone. 'I feel like I'm going to die or something.' He shook his head in disgust and stood, climbing up the stairs to his own room. He had finally gotten under the covers when he heard a knock at the door. "Come in."
Yami's shadow appeared in the doorway, his eyes down. "Sorry to bother you."
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Is this something that can wait until morning?"
The other blinked and looked at him, slightly hurt. "I suppose." He paused and shook his head. "No, nevermind, Kaiba. It's not important."
Kaiba growled and watched as Yami shut the doors behind him.
---
'I wonder what you're doing. Are you safe?' Yuugi laid in his bed, his thoughts on Yami. Despite the late hour, he couldn't sleep even if sleeping pills ran through his system. Every minute it grew harder for him to breath. 'Why do I feel like this?'
He sat up and reached onto his nightstand, a picture of him and Yami, a week or so after he was able to part as his own person. He stood and crossed his room to his dresser. Another picture sat there. It was a picture of Yami alone relaxing at the park. Yuugi had taken it while his other didn't know. They had been on a picnic at a park. He had spotted Yami laying off to the side, under the shade of a tree. Taking the opportunity, he had taken the picture.
When he had showed it to Yami, Yami merely smiled. Innocently Yuugi had asked what he was thinking about to make him look so peaceful and relaxed.
Yami just replied he was daydreaming.
But now Yuugi knew. It was obvious. He had known the answer sounded fake, but refused to question Yami. Sighing he turned to the photo hanging on his wall. This one was of him and Seto. Both were smiling, though Seto's wasn't as wide as his own.
He wondered if he had to make a choice between the two. Seto or Yami. If he chose Yami, would he return? Or if he chose Seto, would he stay forever hidden? Or would he come back no matter the choice because it was what Yuugi really wanted.
Or would he never come back no matter what?
Closing his eyes, he thought about his feelings towards the two. Yes, he loved both of them. But were there any differences between the two loves? He sat on the floor, taking the picture of Yami down with him. Was his love for Seto the same as his love for Yami?
He sat there, eyes closed, tears still escaping. He knew the answer. He had just never taken the time to realize it.
He loved them both. Maybe for different reasons, but it's the same love. The same desire.
If only he could tell Yami.
---Tsudzuku
A New Look in His Eyes
Chapter 4
Despite the horrible way his head pounded, Yami found himself proud of the way he made Kaiba's face twist into shock. He let his eyes fall to the younger Kaiba, who was just as shocked, if not more, by Yami's revelation.
"Mokuba, will you leave me and Yami alone to talk for a minute?"
The dark haired boy nodded slightly and left the room casting one last glace at the spirit.
Yami saw as Kaiba stalked towards him and the next thing he knew, he was being carried to a different location. He closed his eyes, not having the strength to question Kaiba's actions nor to fight them. Kaiba put him none too gently on the bed he currently occupied, causing him to gasp out in pain.
"You want to run that by me again?"
"I. Have. No. Pulse."
Seto looked down at the spirit and narrowed his eyes. "You're testing me, Yami."
Yami shrugs and looks down at the ground. "It is the truth, Kaiba. I am dead, been such for a while now, don't pretend you never knew the dead don't have pulses."
"For someone's who dead, you take the news rather well."
Yami laughed slightly and shrugged. "I've had a lot of time to think on it already."
Kaiba nodded, his mind wondering what had just happened. They sounded... like friends. I feeling he never expected to feel between him and Yami. "So you have." He sighs and looks around the room. "So, I suppose this will have to happen the hard way.
"Sorry... I didn't come here with the intention of making your life difficult."
He nodded and turned away from him. "I have... a proposition to make you, Yami."
"Oh?"
"I propose that we take this time to learn about each other. I believe that we can be friends."
Yami looked up at Kaiba shocked. "Rivals turned friends? That's a bit much for even I to believe."
Kaiba growled and turned around, glaring down at Yami. "This is serious, Yami. I'm not going to pretend the situation won't be odd at first, but it's a start; to make all our lives happier."
"People just don't say 'let's be friends' and then it happens. It takes commitment and trust on both parts."
"I'm willing to do that. If you are, too. This works two-ways, Yami. If you're not willing, then I won't bother with it."
Yami blinked as the thought ran through his head. True, he could be friends with Kaiba; that would at least take care of his strong disliking of his aibou dating him. But would that help with his attraction to his aibou? If things remained the same as they are, aibou would continue dating Kaiba and he would continue loving his aibou. There must be a catch somewhere. Both results were the same. He voiced this opinion and was greatly startled when he felt a hand smack the side of his face. "Oh, GREAT way to start off a friendship, Kaiba."
"How could you only think of yourself? You know how happy Yuugi would be to have you back? I think it would mean even more than him and I being together."
He rubbed his cheek and lowered his eyes. "I've told you, he is strong. He will forget about me eventually. That is better than having a love-sick fool follow after him constantly. I've hidden my emotions for a long time now. If anything I deserve to wallow in my own heartbreak."
"Yami, you're being unreasonable—"
"No, Kaiba, that's incorrect. I'm being selfish for once. Instead of putting others before me, I'm putting myself before them. Something I rarely do. So, I'm saying this: I don't want to feel the pain of living with someone I love more than anything. I'd rather leave it all and deal with my pain away from him."
"But Yuugi—"
"He will live and make you very happy. It hurts to admit that you will be on the receiving end of his love and not me, but it is the truth." He looks away and down at his hands. "I just want to heal and carry on."
Seto nodded, understanding the need just to do what you want. "I respect you for that. It takes a lot of courage to do what you want to do, but—"
"But it takes even more courage to meet life head on? I'm sick of doing that, Kaiba. I've tried hiding it. I knew as long as he didn't know, we could continue as we always were. Now he knows. Instead of having nightmares of his decreasing like for me, I can have dreams of his care for me. His worry. I want to remember our relationship like that. Not the deteriorating friendship it's bound to turn into." He took in a deep, shaking breath, willing himself not to break down.
"And of course, he doesn't know of any of this."
"Of course not," he replies softly. "Nor should he know."
Kaiba sighed. "I'm going to lose him. And you're going to be the cause of it. He loves you more than you realize. For someone who's supposed to be very close you him, you can't see all of his feelings. True friends don't give up on each other. I learned that from Yuugi. If you and he share such a deep connection, I'd bet my company he will look for you until his dying day."
Yami shook his head. "Please, Kaiba, I hear my own conscience telling me the same thing. You're an echo of what I already know."
"There's a line between selfish and stubborn and you just crossed it. You want Yuugi to be happy? But then you want to disappear out of his life. You can't have it both ways."
"So, what? You want to magically become friends. Develop an imaginary love and we can all be happy?"
"Yami-"
"Kaiba, let's just stick to the original deal. I get better and I'll leave. Yuugi's all yours Kaiba. He deserves to be with the one who makes him the happiest."
Seto threw a glare at Yami and turned on his heal, walking towards the door. "You're blind, Yami. I thought I was blind to love. But I honestly believe you'll never see it." He exited the room, leaving a slightly mad and confused Pharaoh in bed.
"Aibou..."
---
Kaiba growled as he sat down at his desk, pushing the power button for the monitor. His thoughts never left Yami after he left the room. Not being able to quiet his thoughts, he loaded up a game of Freecell. A game that made him focus on it rather than anything else if he wanted to win.
And Kaiba Seto always wanted to win.
Minutes later, the box popped up telling him he had lost. Angrily, he closed the program and turned the monitor off.
What had caused him to lose his concentration? No, he knew. It was the 3000 year old former Pharaoh upstairs in the guestroom.
Now he had "what" down, it was time to figure out "why". He sighed and shook his head. It was useless pondering over it. Yami would be gone soon. And Yuugi would be his until the smaller one decided to break up. At least he'd have the last precious moments with Yuugi alone. 'I feel like I'm going to die or something.' He shook his head in disgust and stood, climbing up the stairs to his own room. He had finally gotten under the covers when he heard a knock at the door. "Come in."
Yami's shadow appeared in the doorway, his eyes down. "Sorry to bother you."
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Is this something that can wait until morning?"
The other blinked and looked at him, slightly hurt. "I suppose." He paused and shook his head. "No, nevermind, Kaiba. It's not important."
Kaiba growled and watched as Yami shut the doors behind him.
---
'I wonder what you're doing. Are you safe?' Yuugi laid in his bed, his thoughts on Yami. Despite the late hour, he couldn't sleep even if sleeping pills ran through his system. Every minute it grew harder for him to breath. 'Why do I feel like this?'
He sat up and reached onto his nightstand, a picture of him and Yami, a week or so after he was able to part as his own person. He stood and crossed his room to his dresser. Another picture sat there. It was a picture of Yami alone relaxing at the park. Yuugi had taken it while his other didn't know. They had been on a picnic at a park. He had spotted Yami laying off to the side, under the shade of a tree. Taking the opportunity, he had taken the picture.
When he had showed it to Yami, Yami merely smiled. Innocently Yuugi had asked what he was thinking about to make him look so peaceful and relaxed.
Yami just replied he was daydreaming.
But now Yuugi knew. It was obvious. He had known the answer sounded fake, but refused to question Yami. Sighing he turned to the photo hanging on his wall. This one was of him and Seto. Both were smiling, though Seto's wasn't as wide as his own.
He wondered if he had to make a choice between the two. Seto or Yami. If he chose Yami, would he return? Or if he chose Seto, would he stay forever hidden? Or would he come back no matter the choice because it was what Yuugi really wanted.
Or would he never come back no matter what?
Closing his eyes, he thought about his feelings towards the two. Yes, he loved both of them. But were there any differences between the two loves? He sat on the floor, taking the picture of Yami down with him. Was his love for Seto the same as his love for Yami?
He sat there, eyes closed, tears still escaping. He knew the answer. He had just never taken the time to realize it.
He loved them both. Maybe for different reasons, but it's the same love. The same desire.
If only he could tell Yami.
---Tsudzuku