A/N- Thank you to all my reviewers. Hopefully, everyone will enjoy this
chapter. The rating might have to go up to PG-13........possibly. But
only for girl stuff.
Dianie – Thank you soooooooo much for reviewing! Glad you like it. Hopefully, This chapter will be VERY funny in the female point of view. Jon isn't really girl material is he? (cough) gay (cough)
imogenhm- Thanks you! I am glad that this fic is funny and different. You see, everyone tries the "what happened if Alanna didn't go to the palace and what happened if she went to the convent" stuff. I like that stuff too! I am just trying to be different, and funny as well. My friend and I delight in the way Jon seems so gay.
Rat Child G- Glad you think that this is funny! Hope that this chapter is funny as well. Thanks for reviewing! Here's the next chapter for you!
Leaf n Jelly- Poor Jon. I almost feel sorry for him, don't you? Wait a minute, I forgot. He is an insufferable prat! Thanks for reviewing! Yeppers, George will be very important. I LOVE GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is the best. Jon is just way to involved with himself, don't you think? Makes me wonder if he is gay, I mean, he only told Alanna, that he loved her after he found out she was a girl. What if he liked her before then?
Ladyla- Alanna won't find out until the end of the story. I'm hoping to make it funny and I already have planned a few lines of it! After this one, I am going to write a sequel about when they go to the palace. Truly, I had better get writing!!! Thanks for reviewing, Glad that you like it.
Aja- Thank you! And.....sorry about that mistake. It is hard to write in other peoples points of view when you have the whole story planned out! But did it ever occur to you that Mme. Buttercup knew all about Jon? Nah, just messing with you. She doesn't know anything and you are totally right. But someone might find out soon though.........( I just haven't figured out who!)
Gwen of Helmsgrove - I know, I know. Sorry about that mistake. It's hard! Only two people caught that mistake! When I go through and fix this story, I'll fix it. Don't expect it to happen for a while.........Glad you like it! I will definitely finish this story eventually, and write the sequel too maybe! Don't threaten me....Please!
Kore Yan- Thank you! I'm not really a comedian.......You flatter me too! (hugs and kisses all 'round.) Hope you like this chapter too!
plot-less- I Love your story! Of course I reviewed every chapter. It was my inspiration. Truly. Yes, I know you are right, and I will try to set the scene more in this chapter, and the others to come. And I appreciate you too. Thanks!!
Sarah Beara Boo- Oh yes, I can really see this coming along now Sarah, totally hippo. It's perfect. I will be sure to mention to everyone that you came up with tons of Ideas. Your spelling really is horrible. I had to read through your review twice to understand about the whole compliment thingo. We will have to go slow though, May be make the assignment come in at about chapter 8, George come in at about chapter 5. I know, to long to wait isn't it? When we get together for the LOTR sleepover thing, ( with Christine if she wants to come), we will also work on this story. Honestly, everyone tells me that it is funny. I find it stupid, but anyway......I am going to call you in 5 seconds.....5......4.....3....2....1.....I hear it ringing......Oh look, there's your mom......Sarah? What!! She's not there?
PrincessFindabhair (of the laughing faeries)- Love your name! It is so totally Christine! You can come to the sleep over if you want, and if you have any idea's for this story, share them with me! You are a better writer than me anyway. When are you going to post your story about the Goddesses or whatever? I liked it!! Ta Ta Princess F. (otlf)!! I love it. I'm going to have brackets in my name too. What about Luthien (RC5)? Never mind.
!#$%&())!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Come on! We're going to be late!" Karay and Lindsey hurried the five other girls to the Deportment class room. Stepping in the door, they lined up behind Marcy and Sharla.
"Welcome Class. Please take your seats." Ordered a crisp lady with an impassive face. "Hurry along now, we don't have all day. What is your name dear?" She asked Sal.
"Um...Sal."
Frowning, the woman straightened and continued speaking. "Your full name please. Titles and everything."
"Salvadry Cahannara Juliet, Fifth Princess of Tusain." Sal said in a clear voice.
"Very well Salvadry. As a princess, I would expect you to know how to sit down like a Lady. A Lady never flops down into her seat. You must sit gracefully and spread your skirts around you. When one asks her name, the Lady replies using her full name with titles and everything. You must sit up straight and push you chest out. Go on."
Feeling stupid, Sal straightened her shoulders and pushed her chest out. The teacher moved on. "You darling, must hold you head up high." She instructed Alanna. "Do not scowl." She said as she moved past Buri. Stopping at Jonella, she told her most forcefully, "Keep your legs together. What do you want, some one to shove a stick up there?" Jonella blushed. All the girls hid a smile behind her hand.
Moving to the front of the class, the chiseled woman brushed the hair carefully with one finger and went on.
"I am Madam Ursule. The first lesson I will teach you today is how to sit." Fixing her gaze on Jonella, she said, "The first thing my mother ever told me was this: Girls who sit with there legs together are nice, Girls who sit with there legs crossed are pretty. Girls who sit with their legs apart get pregnant before they are married! What a terrible thing!."
"This I tell you," She proclaimed, "Is the most truest thing you will hear in your whole life."
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"I hope lunch will be good." Sal said to the others as they went down to the dining hall. "That was the most boring class in the world," Alanna grumbled. Settling on the benches, Buri gazed around. "Salad? That's it?" She exclaimed.
"For today anyway." Karay smiled. Tossing her nose up in the air, she showed the others her talent of impersonating people. "Healthy Eating is the most important aspect that you will learn in your whole life." Her voice was wobbly and the pitch ranged from very high to very low.
"I thought Deportment was the most important thing," Alanna muttered.
"Don't forget Appearance!" Added Buri.
"I woman must remain thin, yet nurtured on the essence of life itself. Vegetables." Karay continued.
The others snickered. "A lady must remain healthy to bear her husbands many children."
Choking on laughter, Lindsey exclaimed, "It sounds just like Mistress Vagoon!"
They got up to move to their next class, Outdoor Education with Madam Cystrone. "Funny how the teacher who teaches stuff about Health and Babies is a Mistress and has never actually had any experience......." Buri pointed out.
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Good Afternoon!" The friendly Madam Cystrone said to her waiting class.
"For those of you that are new, I am in charge of the Outdoors and Physical part of your education. You may all call me Madam Cyst or Madam C, what ever you prefer. Our lesson today, will begin with a run around the building, followed by some practice on your horse."
Turning around, she faced the convent.
"Follow me Ladies!"
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Mount please everyone!" Madam C said briskly. The girls and Jon had finished their run and were mounting their ponies as fast as they could.
This should be easy ,thought Jon. When they had run, he hadn't been first, but he hadn't been last either. Finally! Something he would be good at! This was all about to change.......
"I nice trot please," Called Madam C. "Jonella, please slow down." This was to prove to be difficult.
"C'mon you stupid pony, work with me here." Muttered Jon. Even though the ladies would understand if he couldn't handle his frisky pony, which he was too big for (which might be the problem), it was him masculinity and his own pride that was at stake.
"Everyone line up. Sharla, lean forward please. You look like you think your poor Ribbon stepped in horse dung." Frowning, Madam C turned her own pony towards Jon.
"Jonella, where are you going?"
Turning around to face her, Jon's pony Dud refused to move. Trying again, Dud still refused to move, spinning Jon around so that Jon was carried with the momentum and thrown off his back.
A muffled scream came from behind his body. "Are you all right Jonella?" Madam C. said, concerned.
Oh I am perfectly fine, Jon thought to himself, I'm just the crown Prince who ran away and is pretending to be a girl, not to mention I am now suffering the most humiliating moment that I have ever had in my whole entire life....not counting the time I tripped over my practice sword in front of the court....
"It's alright, don't worry about it. Some ladies just aren't suited to riding horses. It doesn't come naturally to some ladies as it does men.
So am I male or female? I will have to ponder that one deeply.
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Tell me Miss Jonella, what kind of food did you eat at your home?"
This was not the first question Mistress Vagoon had asked Jon within the past 3 minutes the girls and Jon, (though we are still not sure what gender he is) had been in Health.
"Um......chicken......beef........ale...." Jon said hesitantly, wondering if her should lie or tell the truth.
"Ale! Meat! What about all those vegetables! And Fruit! That is not a healthy diet!" Mistress Vagoon exclaimed, shocked. Yep, should have lied.
"What Fief do you come from" The Mistress asked.
Before his brain could stop him, Jon's mouth ran away with itself. "I dun 'ave one" Jon said quickly.
"Fief Idunaveone?" The Mistress inquired. "Where is that may I ask?"
No you may not ask. Thought Jon. Instead, he said, "Carthak."
"Oh! We've never had a pupil from Carthak before. I hope that when we have time you will be able to share all your experiences and the latest fashions to us."
There better be a library around here. And what is a pupil? Isn't that the middle of your eye? So what does she mean she's never had a Carthaki pupil. Does she mean she has never seen a Carthaki eye before? My eye? Heak, I'm confused.
"Today we are going to talk about the development of women......" Mistress Vagoon continued. Suddenly, Jon got the fleeting suspicion that he was not supposed to know this stuff.
Papers were being passed around, and judging by the looks of the other girls faces, they had heard all this stuff before. Many times even.
Mistress Vagoon seemed to enjoy talking about all this stuff, which Jon found very disgusting. Her one-way conversation seemed to range from bedding a man, babies and finally, the development part.
Some of it, Jon found intriguing. Most of it he found embarrassing, especially when the talk was about men too.
But this was by far the worst.
"You mean you bleed??" He finally shouted. Glancing at all the apprehensive faces, he found not sympathy, but laughter and amusement. The world swam before his eyes. This is it. Jon thought. I'm finally dying.
He fell to the floor in a dead faint.
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
Poor Jon. Don't feel too sorry for him. He's only getting what he deserves after all.
Special Thanks to Sarah Beara Boo. You help a lot.
Next up:
-Jon realizes his feelings for Alanna. Will he tell her? What will she think? - George!! ( contact Sarah Beara Boo { her e-mail is pinkmonkeyswithsmilefacestickersontheircheekstheviggofanclub.ca}v } for a full description of his ruggedly handsome features.)
Just a warning, you may not see much of me for the next little while, I have to revise my other story and do another chapter. I will be going as fast as I can though!!!
Thanks so much!!!
Rhia
Dianie – Thank you soooooooo much for reviewing! Glad you like it. Hopefully, This chapter will be VERY funny in the female point of view. Jon isn't really girl material is he? (cough) gay (cough)
imogenhm- Thanks you! I am glad that this fic is funny and different. You see, everyone tries the "what happened if Alanna didn't go to the palace and what happened if she went to the convent" stuff. I like that stuff too! I am just trying to be different, and funny as well. My friend and I delight in the way Jon seems so gay.
Rat Child G- Glad you think that this is funny! Hope that this chapter is funny as well. Thanks for reviewing! Here's the next chapter for you!
Leaf n Jelly- Poor Jon. I almost feel sorry for him, don't you? Wait a minute, I forgot. He is an insufferable prat! Thanks for reviewing! Yeppers, George will be very important. I LOVE GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is the best. Jon is just way to involved with himself, don't you think? Makes me wonder if he is gay, I mean, he only told Alanna, that he loved her after he found out she was a girl. What if he liked her before then?
Ladyla- Alanna won't find out until the end of the story. I'm hoping to make it funny and I already have planned a few lines of it! After this one, I am going to write a sequel about when they go to the palace. Truly, I had better get writing!!! Thanks for reviewing, Glad that you like it.
Aja- Thank you! And.....sorry about that mistake. It is hard to write in other peoples points of view when you have the whole story planned out! But did it ever occur to you that Mme. Buttercup knew all about Jon? Nah, just messing with you. She doesn't know anything and you are totally right. But someone might find out soon though.........( I just haven't figured out who!)
Gwen of Helmsgrove - I know, I know. Sorry about that mistake. It's hard! Only two people caught that mistake! When I go through and fix this story, I'll fix it. Don't expect it to happen for a while.........Glad you like it! I will definitely finish this story eventually, and write the sequel too maybe! Don't threaten me....Please!
Kore Yan- Thank you! I'm not really a comedian.......You flatter me too! (hugs and kisses all 'round.) Hope you like this chapter too!
plot-less- I Love your story! Of course I reviewed every chapter. It was my inspiration. Truly. Yes, I know you are right, and I will try to set the scene more in this chapter, and the others to come. And I appreciate you too. Thanks!!
Sarah Beara Boo- Oh yes, I can really see this coming along now Sarah, totally hippo. It's perfect. I will be sure to mention to everyone that you came up with tons of Ideas. Your spelling really is horrible. I had to read through your review twice to understand about the whole compliment thingo. We will have to go slow though, May be make the assignment come in at about chapter 8, George come in at about chapter 5. I know, to long to wait isn't it? When we get together for the LOTR sleepover thing, ( with Christine if she wants to come), we will also work on this story. Honestly, everyone tells me that it is funny. I find it stupid, but anyway......I am going to call you in 5 seconds.....5......4.....3....2....1.....I hear it ringing......Oh look, there's your mom......Sarah? What!! She's not there?
PrincessFindabhair (of the laughing faeries)- Love your name! It is so totally Christine! You can come to the sleep over if you want, and if you have any idea's for this story, share them with me! You are a better writer than me anyway. When are you going to post your story about the Goddesses or whatever? I liked it!! Ta Ta Princess F. (otlf)!! I love it. I'm going to have brackets in my name too. What about Luthien (RC5)? Never mind.
!#$%&())!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Come on! We're going to be late!" Karay and Lindsey hurried the five other girls to the Deportment class room. Stepping in the door, they lined up behind Marcy and Sharla.
"Welcome Class. Please take your seats." Ordered a crisp lady with an impassive face. "Hurry along now, we don't have all day. What is your name dear?" She asked Sal.
"Um...Sal."
Frowning, the woman straightened and continued speaking. "Your full name please. Titles and everything."
"Salvadry Cahannara Juliet, Fifth Princess of Tusain." Sal said in a clear voice.
"Very well Salvadry. As a princess, I would expect you to know how to sit down like a Lady. A Lady never flops down into her seat. You must sit gracefully and spread your skirts around you. When one asks her name, the Lady replies using her full name with titles and everything. You must sit up straight and push you chest out. Go on."
Feeling stupid, Sal straightened her shoulders and pushed her chest out. The teacher moved on. "You darling, must hold you head up high." She instructed Alanna. "Do not scowl." She said as she moved past Buri. Stopping at Jonella, she told her most forcefully, "Keep your legs together. What do you want, some one to shove a stick up there?" Jonella blushed. All the girls hid a smile behind her hand.
Moving to the front of the class, the chiseled woman brushed the hair carefully with one finger and went on.
"I am Madam Ursule. The first lesson I will teach you today is how to sit." Fixing her gaze on Jonella, she said, "The first thing my mother ever told me was this: Girls who sit with there legs together are nice, Girls who sit with there legs crossed are pretty. Girls who sit with their legs apart get pregnant before they are married! What a terrible thing!."
"This I tell you," She proclaimed, "Is the most truest thing you will hear in your whole life."
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"I hope lunch will be good." Sal said to the others as they went down to the dining hall. "That was the most boring class in the world," Alanna grumbled. Settling on the benches, Buri gazed around. "Salad? That's it?" She exclaimed.
"For today anyway." Karay smiled. Tossing her nose up in the air, she showed the others her talent of impersonating people. "Healthy Eating is the most important aspect that you will learn in your whole life." Her voice was wobbly and the pitch ranged from very high to very low.
"I thought Deportment was the most important thing," Alanna muttered.
"Don't forget Appearance!" Added Buri.
"I woman must remain thin, yet nurtured on the essence of life itself. Vegetables." Karay continued.
The others snickered. "A lady must remain healthy to bear her husbands many children."
Choking on laughter, Lindsey exclaimed, "It sounds just like Mistress Vagoon!"
They got up to move to their next class, Outdoor Education with Madam Cystrone. "Funny how the teacher who teaches stuff about Health and Babies is a Mistress and has never actually had any experience......." Buri pointed out.
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Good Afternoon!" The friendly Madam Cystrone said to her waiting class.
"For those of you that are new, I am in charge of the Outdoors and Physical part of your education. You may all call me Madam Cyst or Madam C, what ever you prefer. Our lesson today, will begin with a run around the building, followed by some practice on your horse."
Turning around, she faced the convent.
"Follow me Ladies!"
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Mount please everyone!" Madam C said briskly. The girls and Jon had finished their run and were mounting their ponies as fast as they could.
This should be easy ,thought Jon. When they had run, he hadn't been first, but he hadn't been last either. Finally! Something he would be good at! This was all about to change.......
"I nice trot please," Called Madam C. "Jonella, please slow down." This was to prove to be difficult.
"C'mon you stupid pony, work with me here." Muttered Jon. Even though the ladies would understand if he couldn't handle his frisky pony, which he was too big for (which might be the problem), it was him masculinity and his own pride that was at stake.
"Everyone line up. Sharla, lean forward please. You look like you think your poor Ribbon stepped in horse dung." Frowning, Madam C turned her own pony towards Jon.
"Jonella, where are you going?"
Turning around to face her, Jon's pony Dud refused to move. Trying again, Dud still refused to move, spinning Jon around so that Jon was carried with the momentum and thrown off his back.
A muffled scream came from behind his body. "Are you all right Jonella?" Madam C. said, concerned.
Oh I am perfectly fine, Jon thought to himself, I'm just the crown Prince who ran away and is pretending to be a girl, not to mention I am now suffering the most humiliating moment that I have ever had in my whole entire life....not counting the time I tripped over my practice sword in front of the court....
"It's alright, don't worry about it. Some ladies just aren't suited to riding horses. It doesn't come naturally to some ladies as it does men.
So am I male or female? I will have to ponder that one deeply.
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
"Tell me Miss Jonella, what kind of food did you eat at your home?"
This was not the first question Mistress Vagoon had asked Jon within the past 3 minutes the girls and Jon, (though we are still not sure what gender he is) had been in Health.
"Um......chicken......beef........ale...." Jon said hesitantly, wondering if her should lie or tell the truth.
"Ale! Meat! What about all those vegetables! And Fruit! That is not a healthy diet!" Mistress Vagoon exclaimed, shocked. Yep, should have lied.
"What Fief do you come from" The Mistress asked.
Before his brain could stop him, Jon's mouth ran away with itself. "I dun 'ave one" Jon said quickly.
"Fief Idunaveone?" The Mistress inquired. "Where is that may I ask?"
No you may not ask. Thought Jon. Instead, he said, "Carthak."
"Oh! We've never had a pupil from Carthak before. I hope that when we have time you will be able to share all your experiences and the latest fashions to us."
There better be a library around here. And what is a pupil? Isn't that the middle of your eye? So what does she mean she's never had a Carthaki pupil. Does she mean she has never seen a Carthaki eye before? My eye? Heak, I'm confused.
"Today we are going to talk about the development of women......" Mistress Vagoon continued. Suddenly, Jon got the fleeting suspicion that he was not supposed to know this stuff.
Papers were being passed around, and judging by the looks of the other girls faces, they had heard all this stuff before. Many times even.
Mistress Vagoon seemed to enjoy talking about all this stuff, which Jon found very disgusting. Her one-way conversation seemed to range from bedding a man, babies and finally, the development part.
Some of it, Jon found intriguing. Most of it he found embarrassing, especially when the talk was about men too.
But this was by far the worst.
"You mean you bleed??" He finally shouted. Glancing at all the apprehensive faces, he found not sympathy, but laughter and amusement. The world swam before his eyes. This is it. Jon thought. I'm finally dying.
He fell to the floor in a dead faint.
!#$%&()!#$%&()!#$%&()
Poor Jon. Don't feel too sorry for him. He's only getting what he deserves after all.
Special Thanks to Sarah Beara Boo. You help a lot.
Next up:
-Jon realizes his feelings for Alanna. Will he tell her? What will she think? - George!! ( contact Sarah Beara Boo { her e-mail is pinkmonkeyswithsmilefacestickersontheircheekstheviggofanclub.ca}v } for a full description of his ruggedly handsome features.)
Just a warning, you may not see much of me for the next little while, I have to revise my other story and do another chapter. I will be going as fast as I can though!!!
Thanks so much!!!
Rhia