Kaufman Cabs is a cab company that gives its passengers a safe, pleasent ride. But when it comes time to pay your fare, you better pay up. Otherwise, you're in for a hell load of trouble.
One day, a Kaufaman Cab driver picked up a man wearing a suite and a nice hat at the Laundromat.
"Where ya headed?" the driver asked.
"Cherry Poppers please." the passenger responded.
"Ahh, good place, good place." the driver said.
The cab driver turned on the the radio and turned the station to VCPR. The cab driver and the passenger listened calmly as Barry Stark go shot by Pastor Richards. After a few minutes they arrived at the Cherry Poppers Ice Cream Factory.
"Here we are. the fare would be-"
"Thanks for the lift, asshole!"
The man with the suite runs out of the cab and into the factory.
"Hey! Give me my fare you bastard!" shouted the cab driver.
He got out of the cab and started to chase the man in the suite. When the driver reached the suiteman, suiteman socked the cab driver right in the face, knocking the driver down on the floor hard. The suiteman ran out of the factory and got back in the cab. The cab driver go up slowly and ran out of the factory, only to see his cab speed away.
"Dammit! I knew I should have took my keys with me!" The driver exclaimed.
The cab driver looked for a way to catch the suiteman. In the corner of his eye, he saw an ice cream truck. The cab driver hopped inside and saw that the keys in the ignition. The cab driver started the ice cream truck and slammed his foot on the gas pedal. The chase for the suiteman was on!
"His ass is mine!" The cab driver shouted.
The driver eventually reached the tail of his stolen cab. He gave the tail a hard smash with the front of his ice cream truck. The man with the suite was so suprised he swerved left and smashed down a pole and a mailbox. He then swerved right and straintened his cab out. With both cars going well over 70 mph, the cab driver got right up to the cab's left side. The cab driver put down his right window, and the suitman put down his left.
"Give me my fare, you bastard!" shouted the driver.
"Screw you, cabman!" the man with the suite shouted back.
"Alright! That does it!"
The cab driver opened up his compartment and pulled out an uzi. The cabman leaned over and stretched out his arm with the uzi in his hand. He leaned over far enough to quickly shoot out the cab's front left tire. The suiteman started to lose control of the cab and swerve across the highway. The cab swerved from left to right lane over and over as if a drunk man had control of the wheel. The suitman managed to make a left turn with the th cabman in tow.
"Stop already you bastard!" the cab man shouted the cab man.
"Shutup asswipe!" the man with the suit shouted back.
The Cabman shot his uzi again, this time at the suiteman.
"OWWWW! MY ARM!" shouted the suiteman in total agony. He sharpley veered right to find himself face to face with a wall.
SSMMAASSHH!
The cab man pulled over and tossed the man with the suite out of the battered cab and onto the sidewalk. With blood squirting out of his left arm, the suiteman groaned in pain.
"Now your sorry ass is dead!" the cabman exclaimed.
He shot the suitman with the uzi until the ammo ran out. Then he kicked the body three times.
"I'll be taking my five dollars and forty cents now, you poor bastard!" the cab man said as he tood the dead suiteman's wallet and searched for the money.
After the cab driver got the fare money, he got back in the beat-up cabbie to see he ended up back at the Laundremat. The cabbie driver also saw a man with a white shirt and tie waving to pick him up. The cab driver ran him over and drove away with a happy smile.