A/N- Oh how we've been waiting for this chapter. Once you've read it, it'll be more than clear who this one is for.
Disclaimer: Don't touch those pants, Mr. Schwartz, and we won't harm your man too much. Is that really a disclaimer? Meh.
The Chinos - Chapter Four
"We're trying something different this time around," Summer says slyly as she reapplies her lipstick with one hand, gripping the steering wheel with the other.
"Different? How?" I agree that I probably shouldn't date any more lesbians, but the way she said it makes me nervous. How different is this new girl going to be?
I stare at Seth expectantly, hoping he can give me an explanation.
He shrugs from his spot in the front seat. "Don't ask me, dude. I don't know this girl."
I lean forward to the edge of the back seat. "How do you know this girl, Summer?"
"We go to the same gym," Summer replies casually, keeping her eyes fixed on the road.
Something's up. She's not giving me anything. There's got to be a reason.
"Does she have a name?"
"God, Chino!" Summer slams her hands off the steering wheel. "We'll be there in, like, two minutes and then you can give her the third degree!"
I hold up my hands defensively and slide back into my seat. I know better than to mess with Summer when she's in one of her 'moods'. I thought she'd be happy, though, seeing as how she's about to dig into one of her favorite burgers.
As we all emerge from the Range Rover, Summer's eyes are looking me up and down.
"What?"
"Maybe we should have gone with different pants," she mumbles, deep in thought.
Confused, I look at Seth, but he's no help. He, too, is staring at my pants.
"Seth!"
"Wha? What?" he stutters.
I shake my head disapprovingly and he smiles apologetically. We're going to have to find something else to entertain Seth. This fascination he has with my pants is getting a little creepy.
"Let's go," Summer urges, linking her arm through Seth's. "Oh, and Chino?" She turns to face me.
I raise my eyebrows. "Hm?"
"If you know what's good for you, behave tonight."
I nod. She almost seems nervous. I wish I knew what the hell was going on. I fight the urge to turn and bolt. Summer has the keys and if I was on foot, she would have no problem tracking me down….
The same hostess greets us with a smile. "I think your date just went to the washroom.
She should be back any second," she says sweetly.
"Thanks," I reply. I think we're going to have to find a new place to eat. These people know too much.
"Regular booth?" I recognize Mary's voice. Her hair's different tonight but she still looks great.
A sharp jab to my ribs pulls me from my trance. "Focus, Chino," Summer whispers harshly.
It hurts too much to argue.
We slide into our seats and I notice that there's already a half-empty bottle of beer on the table. This is…strange.
"Um, I don't think this is ours," I slide the beer to the edge of the table and smile at Mary.
"Actually, that's your date's," she grins mischievously before scurrying toward the back. I think I can hear her laughing.
What's going on? I look over to the kitchen and I can see several sets of eyes peaking through a window slot.
I hear my date before I see her. It sounds like an old western movie, the rattling of spurs and the click of heels approaching from behind.
Across from me, Seth's eyes widen. Summer leans back, crossing her arms over her chest, looking pleased.
The clicking stops and I reluctantly turn my head to the right and blink a couple of times.
I don't believe my eyes. She's tall in her four inch stiletto, knee high boots, and hot…very hot, but I can't seem to focus on that. Her long, curly black hair covers her shoulders, but her tight black dress barely covers a third of her thighs.
She licks her lips and I swear I can see the hint of a tongue ring.
"Romie," she says in a sexy but confident voice, extending her hand and batting her thick, black eyelashes seductively.
"Uh… Ryan," I respond. Damn. Just…damn.
She slides in next to me, grabbing her beer and taking a generous swig, somehow, managing not to smudge her dark purple lipstick. She can't be 21. Summer wouldn't set me up with someone that much older…would she? Maybe they just served her because they didn't want to question her. I know I wouldn't….
"So, Romie," Summer leans forward, "how are you?"
"Good. Who's your little boy toy?"
Seth's still sitting there, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.
"This is Seth," Summer introduces him while delivering a sharp jab to his ribs with her elbow.
"Uh… right. Hi," Seth says with a shy smile, avoiding eye contact and blushing a little.
I can't prevent the yelp that escapes my lips when I feel a sharp pinch on the inside of my thigh. Seth and Summer both look at me with questioning eyes. I can see Romie smiling as she removes her hand and picks up her menu.
"What's good here?" She directs the question to no one in particular.
"The burgers," the three of us reply in unison.
Romie takes it all in stride. "Hmmm…I like ground beef…that'll do."
She puts the menu down again on the table and I can't help but follow her hand with my eyes to try and protect myself from her long dark claws. Her nails are too dangerous looking for me. They look sharp. I really hope they're not real.
"So, Romie…you met Summer at the gym?" Seth's barely controlling himself. He looks like he's about to faint. Summer is smiling innocently at me. Innocent my ass.
"Yeah, she said that she had a friend that needed to get out more," Romie replies, winking at me. "But you don't look like you need to get out…you look more like the 'stay-in' type." Her hand slips off the table and lands on my thigh.
Damn. I glance up for help but Summer and Seth are oblivious. Seth is still staring at Romie and Summer is too busy glaring at me to see Romie's hand. Yeah, she's 'roaming' all right.
"Actually, that's what we're trying to discourage," Summer smiles. I'm amazed that she can glare at me while smiling. But I'm too frightened to try and move Romie's hand. What if she bites? I glance down at her hand as it slides further up my leg, closer to Summer's defined 'naughty areas'.
"Oh, I see," Romie purrs immediately. "You've been a bad boy." Her tongue piercing clicks against her teeth.
I'm frightened. I don't want to know what she does to bad boys and considering the place that her hand has settled, I can't respond. I don't even look at Summer or Seth. I can't face their gazes. I am going to get into so much trouble…and this time, it's totally not my fault.
Mary returns to take our order. She smiles at me and before I can return it or react at all, I feel Romie's hand tighten. I can't breathe…but it's oddly painless…it's…oh God, I can't possible be getting off on this girl's groping but…I'm going to burn in hell….
"I'd like the monster burger cooked rare with a side of hot wings. As hot as you can make them." Romie grins. She smiles at me. "I like to sink my teeth into what I eat…get my hands dirty…." Her hands are in a dirty place already. I lose my focus.
When I can focus again, I notice that even Mary is staring at Romie. Mary turns her attention to Seth who simply shakes his head at her, speechless.
"Uh, yeah, um, I'll take the double cheeseburger meal and 'dufus' here will have the same," Summer says, barely able to maintain her politeness.
"And you?" Mary turns her attention to me. She raises a single eyebrow.
I know if I talk that my voice is going to be higher than it should be. I don't know if I can form words.
"Ryan?" Summer urges. "Your order?"
I can't talk. I can't even explain why I can't talk. Summer kicks my shin suddenly and I react immediately and slam my knee into the underside of the table. This causes Romie's hand to squeeze entirely too hard and I have to turn away from their surprised looks in pain to try and protect myself. "Fuck…"
"I don't know if that's on the menu," Romie says, unaffected. She places both her hands on the table and begins to tap her nails.
I'm vaguely aware of boisterous laughter from the kitchen as I try to recover.
"Um, I'll take the pasta primavera," I say quietly. I think each one of my words is in a different key.
"All right. I'll go put these orders in right now," Mary says with a wink.
Romie sees the wink and turns to me once she's gone. "That waitress is flirting with you."
"No, she's not," Summer says immediately. Seth has barely said a word so far. He's speechless. What I always wanted. But it's more unsettling than I'd expected.
"You like her? I can see about bringing her in," Romie whispers in my ear. Her hand slowly makes it way off the table and back to the seat. I'm too busy watching her hand to process her suggestion.
My God, did Summer 'hire' this girl to teach me a lesson? Help. I need help.
She pinches my ass as her fingertips find their way down the back of my pants. Her hand settles there like a snake that's found a warm spot.
"Stop staring," Summer hisses at Seth, shoving him.
"So, Romie," Seth starts childishly, "do you go to school around here?"
She takes another sip of beer and answers matter-of-factly, "No."
"Okay." Seth smiles and nods. He seems amused. I can't say I see what was so funny about that, but it's Seth….
We both jump simultaneously. I don't know what Summer did to him, but I can almost guarantee it's not the same as what Romie did to me.
"So, Ryan," Romie turns to face me just as I begin to regain my senses. "What do you do for fun?"
I hear a soft gasp from across the table, but I'm afraid to look away from my date. I think she would hurt me if I was to insult her in the slightest, but that's not what really sparks my interest, it's the way that her eyes are daring me to do or say something bad, so that she can… punish me.
I have a feeling that no matter where this date goes, Romie's going to hurt me. It's inevitable. She's sharp all over.
"I… I play soccer." I'm obviously at a loss considering my lack of recent involvement in the sport, but seriously? What else do I do?
"Do you wear those shorts?" she asks, her hand starting to stray from its resting spot.
Good God, it's alive.
"Yeah?" I sound like I'm five. What? I don't actually know if I wear the shorts? Shit. Is this how Seth feels almost every time a girl speaks directly to him? Of course I wear 'the shorts', I just don't know if I want Romie to know that.
She nods thoughtfully. Her eyes narrow, her hand grasps and she growls, "I bet you look like a little hobbit."
I am just able to close my eyes against the spray of liquid from across the table.
Seth has mopped up the majority of the mess off the table by the time I wipe off my face and open my eyes. Still, Romie's comment sticks with me. A hobbit? Seriously? That's…strange. What's even stranger is that she's obviously visualized me looking like a 'hobbit' and she still has her hands…where they are.
The next time Summer sets me up with a violent, sex-crazed dominatrix, I'm picking a place with glass tables so that this stuff doesn't happen. Then again, I don't think that the mere presence of glass tabletops is going to deter a girl like Romie.
Suddenly, a plate is placed in front of me and I look up to see Mary smiling curiously. Seth and Summer have already started digging into the infamous burgers while Romie's staring at her plate with the same look she gave me when we first met. I sigh in relief when she removes her hands from my 'area'… for the time being, at least.
I try to focus on filling my fork with a substantial amount of pasta, putting it in my mouth, chewing and ultimately swallowing, but I'm too distracted by the dramatics taking place next to me.
Romie appears to have turned into a wild dog of sorts. She's literally ripping the meat off the chicken bones, chewing forcefully and swallowing audibly. After each wing is dismembered, she drops it onto her plate and smiles, satisfied. I can't not stare, I can't even pretend not to stare.
An annoying rattling catches my attention. I turn to Seth and Summer, both of whom have slowed down considerably, resorting to picking at the bun and meat of their cherished burgers as they watch Romie go through her meal. It's at that point that I realize the noise is coming from me. Rattling off my plate is the fork that's held loosely in my shaking hand. I grip tightly to stop the noise, but Romie doesn't appear to have noticed. Nope, she's already elbow-deep in her burger. Her hands are clenched around the beef and bread so tightly that drops of juice are rhythmically pooling into a puddle on her plate.
She's got a very big mouth….
I can't help but notice that no one's spoken in quite some time, and oddly enough, I feel the need to break the silence.
"Is it good?"
Seth gasps from across the table, then grunts when Summer slaps him upside the back of the head.
Romie takes a second to lick every single one of her fingers. She still looks extremely hot, even though she's just devoured two farm animals like a rabid wolf in less than five minutes.
"Almost satisfying," she replies in a deep, raspy voice.
"What more could you possibly eat?" Seth barely gets out the shocked question before Summer delivers another slap, this time with considerably more force.
"I have at least one thing in mind," Romie answers, her eyes set on me, her hands traveling again.
Summer jumps to her feet, her eyes darting from one end of the restaurant to the other and yells, "Check please!"
Another burst of laughter can be heard from the kitchen, and before I can count to three, Mary's tossing our bill on the table.
"How was everything?" she asks politely, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I loved the appetizers, I'm ready for the main course," Romie replies straight-faced.
Apparently, Mary doesn't know how to respond to that because she nods subtly, tilts her head and slowly turns to walk away.
Seth tosses a few bills on the table and shakes his head at me before I can reach into my back pocket for my wallet. Summer must have said something to him about getting the hell out of here as quickly as possible because he's already scooting his way out of the booth.
It's at that moment, just before I stand up, that I realize my pants are undone. How the hell did she do that? Shit, she's… good. She pinches my ass one more time as I'm fumbling with my belt before she slides elegantly out of our side of the booth. I know it's wrong, but despite all of the bruises and marks I'm going to be scarred with after this date, I'm still wildly attracted to her. What is wrong with me?
"So, my little hobbit, what do you say we get this evening started?" she asks, licking a drop of barbecue sauce off her lips with her unusually long, pierced tongue.
I've been told that I don't have a way with words, but I can't find any to answer her with.
"No! No, no, no!" Summer barges between Romie and myself, standing on the tips of her toes so that she doesn't have to look up while addressing my date.
"I told you to fuck with him, not to fuck him!"
I can hear Seth laughing from behind me. To the surprise of no one, I don't know what to say.
"But I like him!" Romie says mischievously glancing over the top of Summer's head and nodding at me with a wink. I feel my cheeks get hot and I have to look at the ground. I don't want to agree with either one of them because, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm scared to death of both of them.
"Cohen, Chino, in the car!" Summer yells at us, turning around briefly to toss the keys to Seth. Seth catches them clumsily with two hands.
"But --"
"Now!" she yells louder, stomping her foot.
I'm not going to argue with that. Seth grabs my arm and pulls me toward the front door of the restaurant. I reluctantly follow, and I can't help but notice that every single person in the restaurant has stopped what they're doing to watch our little scene. Suddenly, I can't get out of here soon enough. I stop fighting Seth and instead, I eagerly push him through the open door.
"Do you think they're going to --" I gesture toward the restaurant but Seth cuts me off.
"Don't say it man," Seth warns, shaking his head sadly as we stroll through the parking lot.
"What?"
"The words," he moans, then stops to face me. I nearly run into him and am forced to back away to regain some personal space.
"Two extremely hot girls are…are… there was a potential freakin' catfight and my girlfriend kicked us out!" he finishes in a hurry. I think I can see tears in his eyes. That, alone, is sad enough.
"We can go back in if you want. Or, you know, peak through a window," I tease. He actually looks like he's considering my suggestions before he responds.
"No, Ryan. No. And you know why?"
I raise an eyebrow. As if I really care.
"Because I really like sex, Ryan. I like it a lot. And Summer…Summer's the only girl that can give it to me. So, as much as it breaks my heart, and trust me, it breaks my heart to miss this little catfight, I must obey the girlfriend."
Ugh. I didn't need to know that. I don't say a word in response but my face must speak volumes because he nods.
"Yeah, I know. You didn't need to know…."
I give him a quick nod and we continue on our way to the car.
"I'm sure Summer could take her," he says casually.
"I don't know, man. I'm pretty sure Romie had a retractable whip on her key chain…."
Seth's loud, shuddering groan is the only sound to be heard in the entire parking lot. He's such a strange, strange boy.
----------
Summer isn't speaking to me when we park the Rover in the driveway. She'd rushed out of the restaurant in a huff and muttered under her breath some words that I'm not even comfortable with.
"Summer. What exactly did I do wrong this time?" I ask, ignoring Seth's warning glare. We're standing in the driveway.
"You…God, Chino! How'd you seduce this one? I mean, we were with you the whole time!" Summer says, frustrated.
"You're just pissed off your little practical joke backfired on you," Seth mutters. I wince as I see her hand draw back. He surprises us both by grabbing her wrist and stopping her.
"And don't, for one second, think that Romie was the only dominatrix in the restaurant tonight…."
Summer pauses.
"And you deprived us of the wondrous catfight because you didn't want Ryan to like her," Seth snaps.
"I didn't want her to hurt him," she pouts, pulling her hand away. "I was just looking out for him."
"Thanks, Summer," I snort. This night is definitely another bust. And my ass hurts.
"You mad, Chino?" Summer calls.
"Not mad!" I say over my shoulder. In all honesty, I'm a little 'unfulfilled'. Romie had me pretty wound up in the restaurant and the lack of release is making me grouchy. I need a cold shower. A long cold shower.
I nod to the Cohens as I walk through the house toward the poolhouse. I don't want another uncomfortable sex talk with them and I don't think there's anything I can say about Romie that will soothe their minds. I'll let Seth and Summer explain why we're home so early.
I strip off my clothes and get into the shower. When I get out, I twist around and see the small bruises on my ass…and other places. I won't forget Romie for a while.
I step out wrapped in my towel and jump when I recognize Sandy sitting on my bed.
"Hey, kid." Sandy blushes red when he sees me. I quickly grab my clothes, retreat into the bathroom and get dressed before stepping out again.
"Hey, Sandy. What's up?" I can tell that its serious because of the look on his face.
"I take it the date didn't go as well as planned?" He has a bag beside him on the bed.
"It went as well as all the others," I reply honestly.
"So…dating…it's not really working out for you," Sandy says. His face is red. I don't know what's got him so flustered. I sit down anxiously beside him.
"I'm giving it a try. I mean, with Marissa in boarding school, it wasn't really feasible for us to try and…to try and salvage anything."
"And Teresa?"
"She's okay. She's moving on."
He nods. He moves the bag closer to my side. I glance down at it. What the hell is he building up to? "Sandy, what --"
"I wasn't sure what to get, so I got…a little of everything…it's been a while since I've had to buy them and there's definitely more selection now that…."
Shit. The bag is full of condoms. I'm dying. I can't believe this. He bought me condoms.
"You didn't have to do this." I don't know what to say. I feel my face reddening and we're both so embarrassed that we can't look at each other. What did I do to deserve this hell?
Kimmie…
"We just want you to be safe."
"I told you, I am safe."
"Always?"
"I don't need you to buy me condoms, Sandy. I get it." I know what he's trying to do, but I can take care of myself…and my sex life. "I messed up with Teresa…but…."
"We trust you, Ryan."
"Please don't tell me Kirsten is in on this…."
Sandy pulls a box of ridged lubricated Trojans out of the bag and regards them. "These were her idea. They're ridged for your partner's pleasure…."
"Stop…." I'm dying here. Please, make it stop.
He puts his hand on my shoulder. "We didn't need to do this for Seth, he's never been…that popular with the ladies."
"Sandy, I can buy my own condoms. It's like…it's like when you reach a certain age, you have to stop letting your parents buy your clothes."
"Did I get the wrong kind? The wrong size?" Sandy looks hurt.
"Please…." I've never been this embarrassed. This should be against the law.
"Just promise me that you'll use these."
I raise an eyebrow. He wants me to use them all?
"I mean --"
"Protect myself, I get it."
"Thank God. Now I'm going to bed," Sandy stands up and walks out, slamming the door behind him in his rush to escape.
I lie back on the bed and bask in my humiliation.
--------------
"Chino!"
I don't know why Seth would want to wake up to that voice for the rest of his life. I open my eyes.
"Chino, what the hell is this?" She hurls a box of Magnum XXX condoms at my head and it hurts as it bounces off my cheek.
"Damn, man, are you stocking up?" Seth laughs. "Ooh, flavored…."
I'm too sleepy for this. They must be jacked up on caffeine.
"Why the hell are you buying condoms? Are you even trying to find a girl or are you just trying to get laid?"
"Sandy…they're Sandy's," I mutter.
"What?" Seth and Summer say in unison.
"Your father thinks I'm a whore."
Summer starts to laugh, sprawling out on my bed. I wish I could kick her. But she's dangerous.
"Damn, Mr. Cohen thinks you're a little player.…"
"He's never bought me condoms," Seth pouts. He sits down on the bed and examines the many boxes. "Are you allergic to latex?"
"Hell, no. But he got a wide selection," I reply. I realize that they're not going to let me sleep.
"Are those the new warming kind?" Summer grabs a box from his hand.
"Why are you guys in my bed?"
"We wanted to make sure you weren't mad at us…at Summer, I mean," Seth replies, staring at a box.
"I'm not mad. I'm a little bruised…."
"Bruised?" Summer asks. "What are you talking about?"
"Romie bruised you? Where?" Seth echoes.
I glare at him.
"Oh. No way. When?"
"At the restaurant…she had fingers that she let do the walking."
Summer seems genuinely upset. "I'm so sorry, Ryan."
"No, it's not a big deal, she just pinched me."
"Let me see," Seth says.
"What?" He has to be joking.
"Let me see. I don't believe you. We were with you the whole time. Let me see."
"You're so not allowed," Summer says, staring at him. "I'll look."
"You're not allowed either," Seth says immediately.
"No one's looking." I can't believe they're fighting over who gets to look at my ass.
"Shut up. We'll both look," Summer snaps.
"No, stop…guys, I'm serious…." I don't know how I got into the situation but before I can get up, Summer and Seth have flipped me over onto my stomach and one of them is tugging at my sweatpants.
"Oh my God…." Kirsten's voice is serious.
I realize that this must look a little strange to her. I'm facedown on a bed covered in condoms and Summer and Seth are trying to pull my pants down.
"I'll come back later." I hear the door close.
"Mom!" Seth yells.
"He really is bruised," Summer remarks.