Disclaimer- don't own alias
Wow thanks for the reviews! (And the birthday wishes) but now I know you guys are reading...please review!!! Enjoy- hope its ok!
Oh Neptunestar- ye of little faith... you have to trust me on this! Thanks very much to Emmy d, grouch, sarkalltheway and agent flamingo for their e=reviews! Keep reading and keep reviewing! -Dani xxx
Sydney POV
She gasped as it her; the strength and the violence of it coursing through her body. She shivered, crying out in anguish; how could she possibly be contemplating this?! She was so strong and had come so far only to fall at a small bump in the road. She stepped back from the railing, a small exhalation masquerading as a laugh escaping her lips. She leant forward so her chest was parallel to the floor, keeping her hand firmly grasped onto the bitter metal, she looked up to the bruised sky letting her pain escape her mouth just as thunder escaped from the clouds. She was so angry with herself. Did she want him to win this sadistic little game? For him to know he had succeeded? The sadomasochist! She was sure he was getting some sick pleasure out of this she knew she would always love him... but she wouldn't allow herself to acknowledge that fact anymore.
A sudden force from behind her however sent her flying over the railings. She screamed, the disbelief and fear causing her to yelp angrily.
Vaughn POV
It had only been small; practically inaudible, but he'd heard her sob- just as he was turning to leave. He always managed to hear her cry; he wished he could be the one to make the hurting subside, to rock her to sleep gently. He used to do that, he would sing to her, only softly, barely audible in fact, only she could hear her, and he sang only for her, but it would calm her as if a tranquilliser.
"Syd..." he whispered. He had seen her standing on the bottom railings, hanging precariously over the edge, a swirling vortex of furious water beneath her. He couldn't watch her leave his life for the second time. He'd failed to protect her before; he wasn't going to do it again. He ran towards her, not believing he'd managed to pass her twice without seeing her- she had stepped back now, looking up towards the sky as if saying some silent goodbye. He lunged towards her, trying to grab her flimsy wet camisole; he was going to protect her; he was going to be her knight in shining armour. He was going to be her guardian angel once more.
General POV
Her reflexes allowed her to grab something almost a spilt second after she'd toppled over the edge; she suddenly recognised it as an arm; Vaughn's arm. Her body dangled lifelessly as if some discarded rag doll being tortured by a bored child. The veins protruded out of his forehead, he grimaced as a second arm joined the first to hold her above the purple waves, as his jaw clenched together, his teeth grinded as if a wild animal waiting for the kill. He let out two determined yet saddened cries as she remained silent, hanging modestly, looking into his eyes. She was almost disorientated by the absurdity of the moment and looked at him through dark and frightening eyes.
"Go on Vaughn," she sneered, "let me drop. Stop toying with me like a cat with a mouse, either let me go, or consume me. Devour me like the murderous bastard you have become!" The impact of her words let his face fall, the hurt so apparent she felt like weeping; seeing him in that state wounded her more than any of the actions, or any of the words previously had. He almost dropped her with astonishment that her words had been so hurtful, that that was what she thought. With one swift and cohesive movement, he yanked her over the barrier, allowing her exhausted body to fall onto his as it had so many times.
"I-is that what you think?" he asked heatedly, "Tha-that this is a game to me- that I find this fun?! Do you honestly believe I could become so twisted and malicious an-"
"Yes Vaughn! Yes! That's exactly what I think" she interrupted, her voice livid and corrupted. She stood up quickly panting as she spoke. Her eyes frightened him as his did hers. Who were these people? They had become angry strangers partaking in emotionally slaughtering antics " I think that me coming back and destroying your wonderful little life killed you- I think me coming back was the worst thing that ever happened to you, and you are so enraged by this fact, that you will do anything and everything in your power to make my life as miserable as possible. The Vaughn I knew is dead!"
"Yer. You're right" he responded loudly, the anger and hurt evident in his voice, "I don't even know that guy any more. He died when you did, his ashes were spread with yours, he was ripped from me as you were. But don't you dare think that I would be so pathetic as to go about making you suffer, when all I do is contemplate how I've hurt you so bad!"
"What?"
"You heard me. I've spent so many nights, emotionally abandoning my wife by thinking how I've done you wrong, and how I should make it better. But you haven't lost me Sydney! I'm still here!" he screamed over the rain "You didn't have to wake up everyday for two years wishing you had the nerve to end your life because, the thing you loved more than ANYTHING has perished along with her memory, name and any mementos that could be salvaged! While you were off gallivanting with Lazaray, trying to save the world, I WAS ALONE! I'D LOST YOU. I BURIED YOU! So don't-you-DARE tell me how hard it is for you Sydney! I am very much alive, you can see me every day. You can see me, touch me, talk to me! I-had-nothing. Nothing! Just a liquor bottle and glorified dust! And Lauren!" he continued, "you moved on from Danny to me, so why the hell couldn't I?!" she smashed her palm across his face
"HOW DARE YOU?! How could you possibly bring him into this how cou- Oh my God... that's it isn't it? That's it!" he knew what she was thinking
"No Sydney..."
"Shhh...no, no...ah I get it now" she shrieked hysterically, "I finally get it! I'm your Danny!" he stepped towards her "I loved Danny so much, and a part of me always will, but he was taken from me, and I tried SO, SO hard to avenge him; to kill Sloane. But when I met you...God" she whispered pensively," you were, I was SO in love with you, you... I used to think meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me- you saved me- you rescued me from despair- just like Lauren saved you! She is to you, what you were to me- she's your guardian angel!" the tears were coming hard and fast now from both, "she was a shoulder to cry on" she sobbed, her words spoken as if to herself, the realisation of the words she was producing almost paralysing her, " she was the only one who could make you smile in the most depressing of times. She was the only one who new just what to say to make the pain subside and the one who just the thought of could get you through the worst torture imaginable; the torture of losing someone you love!" they both knew she wasn't talking about Lauren anymore. "Oh my God. I'm dead to you. I'm just an unwanted memory that haunts. A past that won't let you be. I'm just another crack to me mended in your heart." He engulfed her in his arms. She let him for a moment, the peace brought to them at that second stunning them both.
"NO!" she screamed, using all the force her fatigue-ridden body possessed. "You can't just hold be and make the pain wash away! Not anymore. A kiss can't take away pain just as tears can't bring back some one you love!" she wept ferociously
"What happened to you Syd?' he whispered soothingly, "You were so strong, you were the invincible Sydney Bristow, my Syd; look out you now- sobbing your heart out over a mere boy..." she wiped her face with her sleeve, hurt by his words "And then you try t-to take y-our own life!" he sobbed
"What?!" she screamed " how dare you think so little of me! How dare you think that I would kill myself-OVER YOU!" she hit him in the chest with her fist- he didn't flinch nor move in the slightest way; he just stood there and took it. 'How dare you move on so quickly? How dare you leave me so alone? How dare you abandon me when I needed you as a friend more than anything else- more than a lover and more than a handler- where were you when I needed you Vaughn?! Where?! And HOW DARE YOU kiss me in North Korea only to go back to Lauren. You're forgetting me Vaughn, you're leaving me alone. You're destroying me!" She hit him with every question, each blow more powerful than the last, each strike received quietly by the victim. Blood poured down his cheek, carelessly mingling with the rain. She slid down his body, grasping his shirt with two closed and angry fists. She cried harder than any other time she could recall- her anger as intoxicating as him. His sobs mirrored her own after seeing the sight before him and letting her words slowly penetrate his mind. They collapsed inelegantly against each other, the pain, anger, grief, sorrow and regret magnified a thousand times. The presence of each other both comforted them, soothing the pair with gentle and tender touch, but hurting them so much more than either would want to admit. Their faces stung from the tears, their bodies ached and their eyes and throats were red raw. Where could they go from here? Life had been so cruel, for they had both loved and lost, they had both loved and lost each other.
Wow thanks for the reviews! (And the birthday wishes) but now I know you guys are reading...please review!!! Enjoy- hope its ok!
Oh Neptunestar- ye of little faith... you have to trust me on this! Thanks very much to Emmy d, grouch, sarkalltheway and agent flamingo for their e=reviews! Keep reading and keep reviewing! -Dani xxx
Sydney POV
She gasped as it her; the strength and the violence of it coursing through her body. She shivered, crying out in anguish; how could she possibly be contemplating this?! She was so strong and had come so far only to fall at a small bump in the road. She stepped back from the railing, a small exhalation masquerading as a laugh escaping her lips. She leant forward so her chest was parallel to the floor, keeping her hand firmly grasped onto the bitter metal, she looked up to the bruised sky letting her pain escape her mouth just as thunder escaped from the clouds. She was so angry with herself. Did she want him to win this sadistic little game? For him to know he had succeeded? The sadomasochist! She was sure he was getting some sick pleasure out of this she knew she would always love him... but she wouldn't allow herself to acknowledge that fact anymore.
A sudden force from behind her however sent her flying over the railings. She screamed, the disbelief and fear causing her to yelp angrily.
Vaughn POV
It had only been small; practically inaudible, but he'd heard her sob- just as he was turning to leave. He always managed to hear her cry; he wished he could be the one to make the hurting subside, to rock her to sleep gently. He used to do that, he would sing to her, only softly, barely audible in fact, only she could hear her, and he sang only for her, but it would calm her as if a tranquilliser.
"Syd..." he whispered. He had seen her standing on the bottom railings, hanging precariously over the edge, a swirling vortex of furious water beneath her. He couldn't watch her leave his life for the second time. He'd failed to protect her before; he wasn't going to do it again. He ran towards her, not believing he'd managed to pass her twice without seeing her- she had stepped back now, looking up towards the sky as if saying some silent goodbye. He lunged towards her, trying to grab her flimsy wet camisole; he was going to protect her; he was going to be her knight in shining armour. He was going to be her guardian angel once more.
General POV
Her reflexes allowed her to grab something almost a spilt second after she'd toppled over the edge; she suddenly recognised it as an arm; Vaughn's arm. Her body dangled lifelessly as if some discarded rag doll being tortured by a bored child. The veins protruded out of his forehead, he grimaced as a second arm joined the first to hold her above the purple waves, as his jaw clenched together, his teeth grinded as if a wild animal waiting for the kill. He let out two determined yet saddened cries as she remained silent, hanging modestly, looking into his eyes. She was almost disorientated by the absurdity of the moment and looked at him through dark and frightening eyes.
"Go on Vaughn," she sneered, "let me drop. Stop toying with me like a cat with a mouse, either let me go, or consume me. Devour me like the murderous bastard you have become!" The impact of her words let his face fall, the hurt so apparent she felt like weeping; seeing him in that state wounded her more than any of the actions, or any of the words previously had. He almost dropped her with astonishment that her words had been so hurtful, that that was what she thought. With one swift and cohesive movement, he yanked her over the barrier, allowing her exhausted body to fall onto his as it had so many times.
"I-is that what you think?" he asked heatedly, "Tha-that this is a game to me- that I find this fun?! Do you honestly believe I could become so twisted and malicious an-"
"Yes Vaughn! Yes! That's exactly what I think" she interrupted, her voice livid and corrupted. She stood up quickly panting as she spoke. Her eyes frightened him as his did hers. Who were these people? They had become angry strangers partaking in emotionally slaughtering antics " I think that me coming back and destroying your wonderful little life killed you- I think me coming back was the worst thing that ever happened to you, and you are so enraged by this fact, that you will do anything and everything in your power to make my life as miserable as possible. The Vaughn I knew is dead!"
"Yer. You're right" he responded loudly, the anger and hurt evident in his voice, "I don't even know that guy any more. He died when you did, his ashes were spread with yours, he was ripped from me as you were. But don't you dare think that I would be so pathetic as to go about making you suffer, when all I do is contemplate how I've hurt you so bad!"
"What?"
"You heard me. I've spent so many nights, emotionally abandoning my wife by thinking how I've done you wrong, and how I should make it better. But you haven't lost me Sydney! I'm still here!" he screamed over the rain "You didn't have to wake up everyday for two years wishing you had the nerve to end your life because, the thing you loved more than ANYTHING has perished along with her memory, name and any mementos that could be salvaged! While you were off gallivanting with Lazaray, trying to save the world, I WAS ALONE! I'D LOST YOU. I BURIED YOU! So don't-you-DARE tell me how hard it is for you Sydney! I am very much alive, you can see me every day. You can see me, touch me, talk to me! I-had-nothing. Nothing! Just a liquor bottle and glorified dust! And Lauren!" he continued, "you moved on from Danny to me, so why the hell couldn't I?!" she smashed her palm across his face
"HOW DARE YOU?! How could you possibly bring him into this how cou- Oh my God... that's it isn't it? That's it!" he knew what she was thinking
"No Sydney..."
"Shhh...no, no...ah I get it now" she shrieked hysterically, "I finally get it! I'm your Danny!" he stepped towards her "I loved Danny so much, and a part of me always will, but he was taken from me, and I tried SO, SO hard to avenge him; to kill Sloane. But when I met you...God" she whispered pensively," you were, I was SO in love with you, you... I used to think meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me- you saved me- you rescued me from despair- just like Lauren saved you! She is to you, what you were to me- she's your guardian angel!" the tears were coming hard and fast now from both, "she was a shoulder to cry on" she sobbed, her words spoken as if to herself, the realisation of the words she was producing almost paralysing her, " she was the only one who could make you smile in the most depressing of times. She was the only one who new just what to say to make the pain subside and the one who just the thought of could get you through the worst torture imaginable; the torture of losing someone you love!" they both knew she wasn't talking about Lauren anymore. "Oh my God. I'm dead to you. I'm just an unwanted memory that haunts. A past that won't let you be. I'm just another crack to me mended in your heart." He engulfed her in his arms. She let him for a moment, the peace brought to them at that second stunning them both.
"NO!" she screamed, using all the force her fatigue-ridden body possessed. "You can't just hold be and make the pain wash away! Not anymore. A kiss can't take away pain just as tears can't bring back some one you love!" she wept ferociously
"What happened to you Syd?' he whispered soothingly, "You were so strong, you were the invincible Sydney Bristow, my Syd; look out you now- sobbing your heart out over a mere boy..." she wiped her face with her sleeve, hurt by his words "And then you try t-to take y-our own life!" he sobbed
"What?!" she screamed " how dare you think so little of me! How dare you think that I would kill myself-OVER YOU!" she hit him in the chest with her fist- he didn't flinch nor move in the slightest way; he just stood there and took it. 'How dare you move on so quickly? How dare you leave me so alone? How dare you abandon me when I needed you as a friend more than anything else- more than a lover and more than a handler- where were you when I needed you Vaughn?! Where?! And HOW DARE YOU kiss me in North Korea only to go back to Lauren. You're forgetting me Vaughn, you're leaving me alone. You're destroying me!" She hit him with every question, each blow more powerful than the last, each strike received quietly by the victim. Blood poured down his cheek, carelessly mingling with the rain. She slid down his body, grasping his shirt with two closed and angry fists. She cried harder than any other time she could recall- her anger as intoxicating as him. His sobs mirrored her own after seeing the sight before him and letting her words slowly penetrate his mind. They collapsed inelegantly against each other, the pain, anger, grief, sorrow and regret magnified a thousand times. The presence of each other both comforted them, soothing the pair with gentle and tender touch, but hurting them so much more than either would want to admit. Their faces stung from the tears, their bodies ached and their eyes and throats were red raw. Where could they go from here? Life had been so cruel, for they had both loved and lost, they had both loved and lost each other.