A/N: *sobs* No reviews from the Harry Potter forum! However there is much
Potterage in this chapter, so enjoy!
*********************************************
Chapter 2 - Arrival by Interdimensional Portal (another common Sue device, used for cross-over stories)
The next day Martha arrived in Middle earth along with Magneto and what remained of the Brotherhood. (Mystique had gone because Martha didn't like her; Sabretooth too had been sacked as Martha found him 'scary'; Toad remained 'on sufferance' - he could stay as long as he didn't stick his tongue out; and Pyro was kept on to keep Martha company when Magneto went shopping)
The two brothers embraced like long-lost - er - brothers:
"Gandalf, my dear Brother, it's so good to see you!"
"Magneto! You look more like Ian McKellen every day!"
It was a while before Gandalf and Magneto got round to the subject of the Prophecy, and Martha was getting bored because no one was paying her any attention. Luckily Gandalf remembered a bit more about it.
"Basically," Gandalf was saying "You have been living under a false identity since your creation until we were emailed this Prophecy from the controllers of the Fanfiction Matrix over at LiveJournal.com, revealing your true name and purpose. Your role is to save the X Men, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean universes, defeat all the villains and convert them to the good side; and make all the male characters fall madly in love with you. To aid you in your quest, you now possess outstanding psychic abilities, you can create fire and ice and you can also handle large sea craft. You are a pure-blood witch, of half Elven / half American High School Chick descent. Plus, you have the voice of a nightingale and your farts smell of freesias."
Martha shot Magneto a look that clearly said: "Meep."
"You are entitled to the choice of either pointy ears or a prehensile tail- "
"The ears!"
"And your name is no longer Martha Page. Your full title is Princess Mary Sue Undomiel-Celebrindel-Symblmyne, Lady of the Caribbean, heir to the throne of Gryffindor."
"How am I supposed to remember all that?!" Martha squeaked. She looked sidelong at Magneto, "Does forgetting my name deserve punishment?"
"Oh shut up dear, my hand is still sore from the last time."
"But Magneto, I didn't mean to spill Gatorade on the expensive interior of your new helicopter."
********************************************
Meanwhile, the rest of the canon were arriving via interdimensional portal at platform 9 and ¾. The various assorted Land-loving Human Muggles failed to notice the large group of strangely dressed mutants, pirates and Hobbits that were congregating between platforms 9 and 10, even when a stunted fellow with an oversized beard and helmet began hacking at the barrier with an axe. For many, this was the first time they had met.
The pirate known as Cap'n Jack Sparrow peered closely at the androgynous- looking Elf stood by him.
"Aaargh, shiver me timbers, you look kinda familiar." (I'll leave you to work out for yourselves who said that.)
"Why of course, I am the brother of your good friend Will," said the Elf.
"Looks like Ol' Bootstrap Bill's been kinda busy. Argh."
Cap'n Jack grabbed Will Turner by the scruff of his neck and whispered a few words into his shell-like. Will, his shirt unbuttoned against the chill September winds of England, dropped his sword with a clang and said thickly "I have a brother.? I have a BROTHER!"
Suddenly the entire casts of POTC, X-Men, LOTR and Harry Potter were seized with an insane euphoria and spent the next 30 seconds dancing and cheering without really knowing why.
************************************************
The female members of the Potter cast were using the five hour train ride as their last chance to engage in some speed-shipping. Along with their Hogwarts letters there had been a warning note from Dumbledore informing them that upon their arrival at Hogwarts all shipping would be off for the foreseeable future. Therefore the commuting journey served as a free-for- all, involving students, teachers, house-elves and Filch's cat. Even the witch who pushed the sweet trolley got in on the action. The Draco- shipping was slightly delayed however, as all the Slytherins got done for travelling without a valid ticket.
Harry Potter, on the run from a newly pubescent Ginny Weasley, stopped short when he spied Magneto reading J.R.R Tolkien's 'The Hobbit' upside down.
"Are you the new professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts?" he enquired.
Magneto just gave him The Look and carried on 'reading'. Harry then turned to the only other occupant in the carriage: the Wolverine.
"And what are you the professor of?"
"Art." Said Wolverine shortly, then took a large swig of beer and belched loudly to emphasise the point.
The Boy Who Lived skipped off into the next compartment, blissfully ignorant of the fact that the only thing saving him from being skewered by six adamantium blades was that Magneto was forcibly holding them back under Wolverine's skin. Wolverine hated children, Wolverine hated trains, and Wolverine hated fanfics.
Therefore his patience was sorely tested when seconds later Ginny Weasley streaked through the compartment in no more than her teen bra and panties, shrieking and giggling after her boy hero.
Magneto leaned out and sealed both doors to the carriage shut. Reassured that there would be no more untimely interruptions, he reached down.
"Martha my dear, you can come out now."
************************************************
Wolverine had a splitting headache. He should have known not to travel on trains with Magneto on board after the last experience, but the squealing was just ridiculous. It was agony on his ultra-sensitive ears. Martha emerged looking flushed but happy, rubbing her behind absently as if in some kind of mild pain. And Ron Weasley had broken his wand using it to try and force open the sealed entrance to Magneto's compartment.
Sure enough there was Hagrid, standing in front of a rather impressive Hogwarts castle, which is never described because everybody's seen the films and already know what it looks like.
"Right, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Pansy Parkinson and any other female Hogwarts student mentioned in the books, follow Professor Sprout to the study hall, where you will sit and study out of the way until the story is over. Arwen is there and will be happy to show you round as she has been so bored over the Summer holidays that she has taken up knitting jumpers for the Hobbits."
"I hope they're better than the ones Mum knits," muttered Ron
"The rest of you, follow me."
*****************************************************
Notes: "Gatorade". I don't know what it is, but it appears frequently in the worst X Men and Harry Potter fanfics.
"I have a brother?" Anyone recognise this line? (Think Kevin Costner.)
Oh and please review, otherwise it'll be detention with Mr Filch!
*********************************************
Chapter 2 - Arrival by Interdimensional Portal (another common Sue device, used for cross-over stories)
The next day Martha arrived in Middle earth along with Magneto and what remained of the Brotherhood. (Mystique had gone because Martha didn't like her; Sabretooth too had been sacked as Martha found him 'scary'; Toad remained 'on sufferance' - he could stay as long as he didn't stick his tongue out; and Pyro was kept on to keep Martha company when Magneto went shopping)
The two brothers embraced like long-lost - er - brothers:
"Gandalf, my dear Brother, it's so good to see you!"
"Magneto! You look more like Ian McKellen every day!"
It was a while before Gandalf and Magneto got round to the subject of the Prophecy, and Martha was getting bored because no one was paying her any attention. Luckily Gandalf remembered a bit more about it.
"Basically," Gandalf was saying "You have been living under a false identity since your creation until we were emailed this Prophecy from the controllers of the Fanfiction Matrix over at LiveJournal.com, revealing your true name and purpose. Your role is to save the X Men, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean universes, defeat all the villains and convert them to the good side; and make all the male characters fall madly in love with you. To aid you in your quest, you now possess outstanding psychic abilities, you can create fire and ice and you can also handle large sea craft. You are a pure-blood witch, of half Elven / half American High School Chick descent. Plus, you have the voice of a nightingale and your farts smell of freesias."
Martha shot Magneto a look that clearly said: "Meep."
"You are entitled to the choice of either pointy ears or a prehensile tail- "
"The ears!"
"And your name is no longer Martha Page. Your full title is Princess Mary Sue Undomiel-Celebrindel-Symblmyne, Lady of the Caribbean, heir to the throne of Gryffindor."
"How am I supposed to remember all that?!" Martha squeaked. She looked sidelong at Magneto, "Does forgetting my name deserve punishment?"
"Oh shut up dear, my hand is still sore from the last time."
"But Magneto, I didn't mean to spill Gatorade on the expensive interior of your new helicopter."
********************************************
Meanwhile, the rest of the canon were arriving via interdimensional portal at platform 9 and ¾. The various assorted Land-loving Human Muggles failed to notice the large group of strangely dressed mutants, pirates and Hobbits that were congregating between platforms 9 and 10, even when a stunted fellow with an oversized beard and helmet began hacking at the barrier with an axe. For many, this was the first time they had met.
The pirate known as Cap'n Jack Sparrow peered closely at the androgynous- looking Elf stood by him.
"Aaargh, shiver me timbers, you look kinda familiar." (I'll leave you to work out for yourselves who said that.)
"Why of course, I am the brother of your good friend Will," said the Elf.
"Looks like Ol' Bootstrap Bill's been kinda busy. Argh."
Cap'n Jack grabbed Will Turner by the scruff of his neck and whispered a few words into his shell-like. Will, his shirt unbuttoned against the chill September winds of England, dropped his sword with a clang and said thickly "I have a brother.? I have a BROTHER!"
Suddenly the entire casts of POTC, X-Men, LOTR and Harry Potter were seized with an insane euphoria and spent the next 30 seconds dancing and cheering without really knowing why.
************************************************
The female members of the Potter cast were using the five hour train ride as their last chance to engage in some speed-shipping. Along with their Hogwarts letters there had been a warning note from Dumbledore informing them that upon their arrival at Hogwarts all shipping would be off for the foreseeable future. Therefore the commuting journey served as a free-for- all, involving students, teachers, house-elves and Filch's cat. Even the witch who pushed the sweet trolley got in on the action. The Draco- shipping was slightly delayed however, as all the Slytherins got done for travelling without a valid ticket.
Harry Potter, on the run from a newly pubescent Ginny Weasley, stopped short when he spied Magneto reading J.R.R Tolkien's 'The Hobbit' upside down.
"Are you the new professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts?" he enquired.
Magneto just gave him The Look and carried on 'reading'. Harry then turned to the only other occupant in the carriage: the Wolverine.
"And what are you the professor of?"
"Art." Said Wolverine shortly, then took a large swig of beer and belched loudly to emphasise the point.
The Boy Who Lived skipped off into the next compartment, blissfully ignorant of the fact that the only thing saving him from being skewered by six adamantium blades was that Magneto was forcibly holding them back under Wolverine's skin. Wolverine hated children, Wolverine hated trains, and Wolverine hated fanfics.
Therefore his patience was sorely tested when seconds later Ginny Weasley streaked through the compartment in no more than her teen bra and panties, shrieking and giggling after her boy hero.
Magneto leaned out and sealed both doors to the carriage shut. Reassured that there would be no more untimely interruptions, he reached down.
"Martha my dear, you can come out now."
************************************************
Wolverine had a splitting headache. He should have known not to travel on trains with Magneto on board after the last experience, but the squealing was just ridiculous. It was agony on his ultra-sensitive ears. Martha emerged looking flushed but happy, rubbing her behind absently as if in some kind of mild pain. And Ron Weasley had broken his wand using it to try and force open the sealed entrance to Magneto's compartment.
Sure enough there was Hagrid, standing in front of a rather impressive Hogwarts castle, which is never described because everybody's seen the films and already know what it looks like.
"Right, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Pansy Parkinson and any other female Hogwarts student mentioned in the books, follow Professor Sprout to the study hall, where you will sit and study out of the way until the story is over. Arwen is there and will be happy to show you round as she has been so bored over the Summer holidays that she has taken up knitting jumpers for the Hobbits."
"I hope they're better than the ones Mum knits," muttered Ron
"The rest of you, follow me."
*****************************************************
Notes: "Gatorade". I don't know what it is, but it appears frequently in the worst X Men and Harry Potter fanfics.
"I have a brother?" Anyone recognise this line? (Think Kevin Costner.)
Oh and please review, otherwise it'll be detention with Mr Filch!