Disclaimer-bla bla bla
I dunno if this still a PG-13 I really hope it is. Its just probably a high PG-13- still haven't got a grip on this hole rating stuff!
A/n This just kind of evolved. I didn't (and still don't) really know where it's headed. Please let me know what you guys think. Your reviews mean a lot and help me loads. Thanks to ALL of the lovely people who have taken the time to voice their opinions-its really great of you. Enjoy and keep reading- dani xxx
"Na-uh. I'm not carrying you again Bristow. Come on get up" Vaughn joked gently, after feeling the familiar sensation of Sydney's body giving in to the calls of sleep, resting against his own. They helped each other as they stood, smiling gently "Fine." She sighed lightly. They looked at each other for a few seconds, a recognisable silence filling the gap between them
"I er...'
"Need to stay here?" she interjected kindly.
"Yer. I walked here, so I um could plan what I was going to say to you. I had this whole thing planned out, all poetic and... perfect. Well. Worked well didn't it?" she grinned softly upon seeing him beginning to ramble like she herself had "and um so if its ok, I mean I don't want to make things more difficult but I saw a spare bedroom, or I could sleep here" he said gesturing towards the couch "And I would go to Eric's but its like, em-" he checked his watch "nearly four in the morning an-"
"Its working?" she whispered, sadness flooding back to her voice. He clasped his hand around his fathers watch, wringing his wrist nervously.
"She had it fixed" he replied, evidence of distain present in his tone.
"Oh..."
" I was so angry with her; I knew she didn't understand its importance to me" she gasped gently trying to establish the meaning of his words- did he mean them? "She actually forgot the anniversary my father's death; so, I guess she thought it would be a nice thing to do- I could have sworn I told her about the significance of it stopping- she must have forgotten that too. The night she gave it to me, I asked to separate, but then her father...When you hung up, I could hear you're pain. I could almost feel it. I was lying in bed next to Lauren, but as usual, all I could think of was you; I could not believe I'd managed to harm you yet again. That's when I came over. I couldn't take it; you not knowing how I felt and not understanding my change in heart-my cowardly actions. I know there is nothing I will ever be able to say or do to get you to forgive me, and all I can say is just how sorry I am for the sickening way I've treated you. I could understand if you would never want to see me again, but please Syd, I beg you, don't leave me. I've lived my life without you once. I cannot do it again. Y-you don't ever have to speak to me again, just- I need you here" Sydney didn't know what to say. Vaughn's strong façade has almost been as believable as hers over the past year, and only now could she see the broken man he had become. She had done that to him. It was her fault. "My heart broke," he continued, his head lowered, shaking from side to side slowly "when I saw the hands which had been frozen for so long moving again. It broke just as I saw yours just then. But if it stops again, we'll know Syd. We'll have something concrete. Something to show the world rather than relying on what we pray is a mutual feeling inside us."
"Vaughn, it must be hard for her. Lauren must have heard a lot from you about your feelings and our experiences, and that was ok because you thought I was dead. I was dead. I mean these were things you would never have told if I was just an ex." She didn't know why she was defending her "But then I came sauntering back into your life and the deep, personal things you told her are brought to the surface. She would probably feel like she would have to compete, which of course isn't true she's your wife, and I suppose she thought fixing the watch was a nice thing to do. She just probably forgot its...relevance"
"Or she didn't and she wanted to remind me of the ring on my finger and to undermine our relationship, what we had. What we have." Sydney rubbed her eyes. She was tired and not emotionally stable enough to discuss Vaughn's marriage further.
"I'm going to get a divorce. I-I don't know where that leaves us, and it's not fair for me to assume you would support me, as I have hardly been there for you, even though I wanted to be. And it wrong for me to assume that we could have a romantic relationship, and even if we did its not as if we don't have to work through some issu- " she leant forward kissing his cheek.
"Vaughn? Shut up". This lightened the mood considerably, making them smile in a sad mixture of heartache and genuine happiness. They would have plenty of time to discuss their relationship. Another day, they both silently agreed.
"Spare bedroom?"
"That way"
"Thanks. Can I use you're shower?"
"You know you don't have to ask. Its in my room" she smiled.
"Thanks" he grinned shyly. The whole conversation screamed of their old relationship, the situation making them feel comfortable and coy. It seemed neither had anything else to say at that moment on the events of the last year, but they knew in time, issues would arise that would need to be addressed. Sydney handed Vaughn a towel, their hands brushing gently: thoughts of Lauren and her betrayal long gone, and the anger and pain dissipating. Even though the contact was small and gradually becoming more frequent in their time together, the gentle touch stimulated them, suddenly making them aware on how close they had been standing. Being the talented spies they were, they showed no reaction to the physical-contact and were now separated by the flimsy wooden door.
Sydney bit her lip as she imagined him under the hot water of the shower; the stream of heat cascading down his toned, muscular back, along a path her hands were so familiar with. She leaned against the door remembering their times together in her shower in her old home. If they were together now they needn't worry about closing the door or controlling their volume, if they made love now- she mentally slapped herself. What was she thinking?! They couldn't just pick up where they left off- she said it herself, a kiss doesn't make the pain go away...well Vaughn's kisses can she compromised, no. They'd changed. He might not want to be with her anymore, he was still married after all. It was very well saying he would get a divorce, but would he go through with it? she asked herself.
On the other side of the door, Vaughn ran is hand through his hair as he lazily stood under the shower allowing the water to run down his back. He smiled, biting his lip remembering the last time they were together, the morning of her 'death'. He had been in the shower contemplating what to say to her in Santa Barbara; he was going to tell her he loved her, and that even though he wasn't going to propose (yet), spending his life with her was something he knew was going to happen. He was going to give her this beautiful ring he had chosen (with the help of Eric, Marshall and Carrie) in promise that he would propose some time soon, but when everything cleared itself up, and she was free to leave the CIA. Of course that never happened. On her return, Vaughn made the trio vow they would never speak a word of the ring, on which they kindly agreed, looks of sympathy present in their eyes. He knew it was mostly for Syd and not himself, and he got the impression they still weren't over him marrying Lauren, but he dismissed the thought reminding himself that he was happy thank you very much. He didn't need their approval.
Realising he had been staring at the tiled wall for several distinctively depressing yet pleasant minutes, Vaughn turned off the water, stepped out and dried himself with the soft towel Sydney had given him. He groaned when realising instead of standing on a bath mat, he was standing on his clothes which were now soaking. He grunted loudly causing Sydney to tap on the door.
"Vaughn? Are you ok?" she tried
"yer I-uh..." he answered shyly swinging the door between them open "I kinda soaked my clothes" He held up his now sopping garments as if in confirmation of his story. She smiled unashamedly at his current state, making him in turn smile further. Clad only his towel he hid behind the door, noticing her coyness and feeling the blush in his cheeks. They felt the same adrenaline as the first night the were together, and she took the clothes from his hands to distract herself from staring and his sculptured physique.
"I'll dry these out for you"
"Thanks. Um do you have anything else of Eric's I could wear?" he asked apprehensively. He wasn't sure walking around Syd's house in a towel was something he should be doing.
"Um...oh. I-I don't know. I think this is the extent of my male wardrobe" she said lifting the clothes. "I could check"
"Thanks" as she left he leant against the doorframe his legs crossed out infront of him. He placed his hands in his hips patiently and hung his head, staring at the ground. He heard her from the other room.
"Vaughn?"
"Er, ya?" he walked to the spare bedroom. She laughed.
" I can not find a single thing for you to wear"
"Do you have anything, as weird as that may sound" her grin was infectious, and they found themselves smiling wildly at each other, enjoying the uncomfortable moment.
"Funny, never saw you as the type" she teased
"Cute"
"Just let me check" she brushed past him, her shoulder grazing his. He swallowed as she moved back into her room, her fragrance lingering. He followed her, studying her movements as she bent down to some drawers. He stepped towards her silently
"Ah ha" he heard her muffled response. 'Knew it" she stood her, her back to him. Sydney turned round, her body mere inches from Vaughn's. Their breathing was hard and she felt her smile fall as his had. His eyes seemed darker, yet not hostile. Passion; that was what she saw. The same look she saw nearly three years ago in the warehouse when he showed her the watch, when she told him she didn't need him to make her life easier, when he was walking towards her in SD-6. Their eyes were focus on each other's lips. He swallowed letting incoherent babble tumble out of his mouth
"we should-um" she nodded softly
"yer. We should" neither of them knew what they should actually do and what she had agreed with. She dropped the clothes on the floor lifting her hands to his neck as he bend his head down towards hers. Their tongues met first, gently clashing moments before their lips. Before in the living room was nothing, SD-6 was nothing, North Korea was nothing. This was something. She hummed slightly and he draped his arms around her lower waist, rediscovering her familiar taste. The kiss started becoming deeper, more passionate, more possessive; each reclaiming what was theirs and what was lost. He lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist placing her hands on the smooth skin of his chest. They crashed into the vanity, knocking over jewellry and perfume, rocking the piece of furniture. The smiled into each other, their lips sensing each other's amusement. He supported her using his muscular arms, holding her up by the top of her thighs. She moaned into his mouth, the pressure he was creating causing pleasant ripples to course through her body. Her hands traveled up behind his head, gripping his hair tugging on it slightly. He bit her lip mischievously as he had in her dream, in her memory she now realised. Her Vaughn was finally home she thought as he carried her over to the double bed; they crawled its length, her on her back with him on top of her. He began kissing her neck but stopped bring his head up to look at her
"I love you Syd. Please tell me you know that" he whispered searching her face. A smile appeared
"I love you so much Vaughn. Whatever we say and whatever we do- whatever happens I will always be yours" she repeated his words from the pier as if in silent acceptance of his apology, and to let him know she knew he loved her. They kissed again, all inhibitions now gone. His lips left her mouth as he made his way down her neck, nipping every now and then only to sooth the small sting with his tongue. She was amazed at his memory of the way his touch in different places would result in very favourable reactions. He had always been a generous, playful and passionate lover, and this was no exception. He lifted his knee between her thighs, yet again applying enough pressure to be pleasurable but not distracting as he swiftly removed her tee. She pressed her chest to his as if trying to hide herself from him. He smiled further at her shyness. She was never any less than beautiful, but she never seemed to agree or even notice- it was part of her charm. In acknowledgement of her insecurity, he fumbled about behind him for the blanket, throwing it over the pair carefully. In gratitude, she slowly traced her fingers down his abs causing his stomach muscles to contract violently, wrapping her fingers underneath the top of the towel, tearing it from his body and discarding it on the floor with her top. He laughed gently into her stomach where his mouth had found itself causing her to giggle slightly. She arched her back, gasping as he placed his palms against her hips and his fingers underneath her waistband. In an agonizingly slow fashion, he slid her pajama bottoms off, leaving her bare legs to intertwine with his. Vaughn than ran his hands up her body encasing her hands in his own, moving them above their heads to rest gently on her pillow. They remained there as they made love their fingers flexing slightly as their ecstasy peaked on several occasions, but remaining mingled at all times. At their most playful she would dig her nails into his soft flesh causing him to moan gently. For every kiss there was a nip, every lick, a scratch; a bite for each moan, a soft caress for each 'I love you'.
Two very slow, enjoyable hours later, they were asleep. This time however, he wasn't on the floor. This time she wasn't having violent dreams. And this time their hands were resting on her stomach, fingers linked and softly caressing; this time it would not be frowned upon when they woke, as this act wasn't subconscious, but a deliberate and acknowledged action that caused them both to blush with fond memories of the night before.
Let me know if u think I should continue!