Inspiration.. it's like... really, really odd, giving you these ideas that
make you wonder where the heck they come from, but then they demand to be
written.. anyhow, this be Daiken, my friends, so if you don't like that...
then that be fine with me. Ohayou/Konni/Konbanwa, depending on what time of
the day you're reading this..
Ph33r my fannish-something Japanese.. ph33r it, I say.. I'd use more, but I don't want to draw the inevitable "rabid Japanese fanboy "comparison and insult rabid Japanese fanboys everywhere. Gomen nasai if that offends, on with the show... you know I don't own Digimon... (
This is a kind of.. um, you know what, just read, pwease? Thanks in advance.
Two people stared at each other within the blackness, mirrors of each other. Both had the odd spiky reddish-brownish hair and brownish eyes. One wore a blue-red flaming jacket, brownish shorts, a pair of yellow gloves, and some goggles. The other wore some kind of black shirt with white stripes all over, shorts, and the exact same goggles.
One of them was real, and one of them was not. Both of them were the same person, however; Daisuke, who happened to be wandering down some random street for a moment, thinking and muttering.
"What is it with me and Ken? "the black-shirted Daisuke, the real one, thought to the air.
"What do you mean? "whispered the invisible-except-to-Daisuke's-stressed- mind jacketed double.
"I'm thinking about him way too much.. it's got me so stressed out that I'm... I'm... "
"Acting like someone you're not and imagining that I exist? "
"Um... I guess.... "
"I am, after all, just your thoughts given form through delusion.. "
"Yeah, but you don't act like me.. "
"Does that really matter? "
"Guess not... "shrugged the real Daisuke.
Daisuke walked in silence, the delusion of his mind following him.. before he finally sighed.
"I need some sleep... "he mumbled. "Maybe all of this is just.. delusion, yeah... too much soda is not a good idea... "
"That's not going to work. "his mind-double said. "You can't get rid of it unless you confront it... "
"I guess.. "he sighed, speaking to the air yet again. "But if you're just my mind or whatever, then how do you seem so.. "
"Real? It's just the depths of your stress.. "
"I guess... "Daisuke mumbled yet again. "Anyway, I'm sure you have nowhere to go, so I can just.. talk about whatever this is I'm feeling and maybe reach some kind of.. something, I don't know. "he thought, half-confused and tired with all the stress and sleep-loss.
Silence filled the air, and so Daisuke spoke.
"I don't know, I don't know.. "he mumbled. "It's just.. well, I've normally always thought of... well... "
"Well? "mumbled his mind.
"It's just.. well, I thought I loved Hikari.. I think. I don't know... I just didn't. I thought I did, I acted like I did... but I think I was just... I don't know, maybe I just said it because I felt like I had to love someone, like I had to because.. I don't know, it seemed normal or something.. I tried to convince myself that I did, but I don't think I ever really did.. "
"Deep. "
"Yes, I know.. it doesn't make any sense, but I guess... I just said I loved her because.. I guess it seemed right to have... been interested or something, I don't know, I'm so confused.. it seemed right, but I wasn't, so I faked it.. I think.. I guess... I really am out of it. "mumbled the real Daisuke.
"I'm not sure any of this makes sense.. what does Hikari have to with this, anyway? "his mind whispering his own thoughts in question.
"I think it's cause I feel... well, what I faked for Hikari, I think I really feel for Ken.. is this making any sense to anyone? "Daisuke mumbled.
"No. No it isn't making any sense, but I think I may understand what you're trying to say.. just keep going, and I'll see if I can make any sense of this.. "his mind said.
"Wow, I'm actually talking to myself.. I really am stressed... but I think it's just that... when I kept trying to convince myself I loved Hikari, I was always telling myself that I would do anything for her, that I'd marry her, spend the rest of my life with her.... That I really, really loved her.. "
"And? "pressed his mind.
"And, I don't know, I guess I just realized that it was lying.. besides, I think Takeru was the only one of us who really loved her. So, I guess I just.. forgot about it.. tell me, am I still making any sense? "
"Never were at all. "
"Right, then... I guess, you know, I just... love Ken... I just... I know about Ken's.. well, when he was the Kaiser.. "
Silence filled his mind and the air again.
"I guess... He was really depressed.. I think, once, Ken told me he'd thought that he was completely evil, didn't deserve to exist.... I just.. I don't know when he said that no one could love him.... I don't know, I just thought that was wrong... I just.... I wanted to tell him he was wrong, because well, I.. I just.. "
"Yes? "pressed his mind.
"I just.. I know, I honestly know that I want to be with him forever.. that's what I think.. no, I know! "he shouted.
"Well, you finally sound more convinced and less rambling.. "mumbled the voice of his mind. "But are you sure? "
"Yes, I am... I know that I want to be with him, that I love him... I just do. I just want to be with him, because I love him... I don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to be hurt.. I just want the two of us to be together through life... Simply enough, I love him, and I want to be with him forever. "
"Well, I see you've finally.. stopped babbling. And you're sure about what you say? "
"Yes, it's true.. I love him. I love Ken Ichijouji. Even if I didn't know all those reasons, I still love him... because I just do. "He sighed, shaking his head, feeling some kind of weight lifting itself off his shoulders.
"Phew, I was out of it.. but atleast I know what I feel. But.. "
He thought for a moment.
"What the heck was I talking like... or to?! I really was out of it.. "he thought, speaking, though no one was there... "Wow... I could hear my own mind, and now I can't... odd. "he thought to himself, before walking on.
His mind watched as events played out...
"Ken? "
"Huh.... Oh, hello, Daisuke. Didn't see you come in... so, what're you up to? "
"... Nothing. "
"Oh, I see... so.. "
"Ken.. I have something to say.. "
" Sure, Daisuke.. what is it? "
" Ken... I love you. I just realized it, but I love you... I just do. I want to be with you forever... I can't say it any better, since I'd be stumbling over my words, and that'd just be confusing.. so, in so many words, I just love you. "
"... "
"Ken? "
"Well, Daisuke... "
"Yes? "
"Thank you for that. "
"Huh? "
"With that, you've given me the chance to say something... I thought I felt a spark of something when I first met you, and I had no idea what it was.. but, I just love you. I just do, and I just... well, I just.. you know, I just want to be with you.... Be as.close to you as I could be... well... I guess.. "
"Heh.. "
"What is it? "
"You're about as tongue-tied as I was... no, still am. And you sound just as awkward as I did. "
"Love does strange things to the mind, as they say. " "Yes.. "
As the two boys moved to hold each other, to kiss, driven by their love and joy of it.. a voice faded away in the mind.
Anou... kono atamagaokashii shounen-ai denkishousetsu... Kyoumibakai, tadashii? Gomen nasai, I just had to do that horribly written aboveness, including the above probably not so good Japanese which asks if that fic was.. interesting, right?.. well, more or less. Sorry for making you read this... author-smacking tools are down the hall, to the right, past the balcony. (
Ph33r my fannish-something Japanese.. ph33r it, I say.. I'd use more, but I don't want to draw the inevitable "rabid Japanese fanboy "comparison and insult rabid Japanese fanboys everywhere. Gomen nasai if that offends, on with the show... you know I don't own Digimon... (
This is a kind of.. um, you know what, just read, pwease? Thanks in advance.
Two people stared at each other within the blackness, mirrors of each other. Both had the odd spiky reddish-brownish hair and brownish eyes. One wore a blue-red flaming jacket, brownish shorts, a pair of yellow gloves, and some goggles. The other wore some kind of black shirt with white stripes all over, shorts, and the exact same goggles.
One of them was real, and one of them was not. Both of them were the same person, however; Daisuke, who happened to be wandering down some random street for a moment, thinking and muttering.
"What is it with me and Ken? "the black-shirted Daisuke, the real one, thought to the air.
"What do you mean? "whispered the invisible-except-to-Daisuke's-stressed- mind jacketed double.
"I'm thinking about him way too much.. it's got me so stressed out that I'm... I'm... "
"Acting like someone you're not and imagining that I exist? "
"Um... I guess.... "
"I am, after all, just your thoughts given form through delusion.. "
"Yeah, but you don't act like me.. "
"Does that really matter? "
"Guess not... "shrugged the real Daisuke.
Daisuke walked in silence, the delusion of his mind following him.. before he finally sighed.
"I need some sleep... "he mumbled. "Maybe all of this is just.. delusion, yeah... too much soda is not a good idea... "
"That's not going to work. "his mind-double said. "You can't get rid of it unless you confront it... "
"I guess.. "he sighed, speaking to the air yet again. "But if you're just my mind or whatever, then how do you seem so.. "
"Real? It's just the depths of your stress.. "
"I guess... "Daisuke mumbled yet again. "Anyway, I'm sure you have nowhere to go, so I can just.. talk about whatever this is I'm feeling and maybe reach some kind of.. something, I don't know. "he thought, half-confused and tired with all the stress and sleep-loss.
Silence filled the air, and so Daisuke spoke.
"I don't know, I don't know.. "he mumbled. "It's just.. well, I've normally always thought of... well... "
"Well? "mumbled his mind.
"It's just.. well, I thought I loved Hikari.. I think. I don't know... I just didn't. I thought I did, I acted like I did... but I think I was just... I don't know, maybe I just said it because I felt like I had to love someone, like I had to because.. I don't know, it seemed normal or something.. I tried to convince myself that I did, but I don't think I ever really did.. "
"Deep. "
"Yes, I know.. it doesn't make any sense, but I guess... I just said I loved her because.. I guess it seemed right to have... been interested or something, I don't know, I'm so confused.. it seemed right, but I wasn't, so I faked it.. I think.. I guess... I really am out of it. "mumbled the real Daisuke.
"I'm not sure any of this makes sense.. what does Hikari have to with this, anyway? "his mind whispering his own thoughts in question.
"I think it's cause I feel... well, what I faked for Hikari, I think I really feel for Ken.. is this making any sense to anyone? "Daisuke mumbled.
"No. No it isn't making any sense, but I think I may understand what you're trying to say.. just keep going, and I'll see if I can make any sense of this.. "his mind said.
"Wow, I'm actually talking to myself.. I really am stressed... but I think it's just that... when I kept trying to convince myself I loved Hikari, I was always telling myself that I would do anything for her, that I'd marry her, spend the rest of my life with her.... That I really, really loved her.. "
"And? "pressed his mind.
"And, I don't know, I guess I just realized that it was lying.. besides, I think Takeru was the only one of us who really loved her. So, I guess I just.. forgot about it.. tell me, am I still making any sense? "
"Never were at all. "
"Right, then... I guess, you know, I just... love Ken... I just... I know about Ken's.. well, when he was the Kaiser.. "
Silence filled his mind and the air again.
"I guess... He was really depressed.. I think, once, Ken told me he'd thought that he was completely evil, didn't deserve to exist.... I just.. I don't know when he said that no one could love him.... I don't know, I just thought that was wrong... I just.... I wanted to tell him he was wrong, because well, I.. I just.. "
"Yes? "pressed his mind.
"I just.. I know, I honestly know that I want to be with him forever.. that's what I think.. no, I know! "he shouted.
"Well, you finally sound more convinced and less rambling.. "mumbled the voice of his mind. "But are you sure? "
"Yes, I am... I know that I want to be with him, that I love him... I just do. I just want to be with him, because I love him... I don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to be hurt.. I just want the two of us to be together through life... Simply enough, I love him, and I want to be with him forever. "
"Well, I see you've finally.. stopped babbling. And you're sure about what you say? "
"Yes, it's true.. I love him. I love Ken Ichijouji. Even if I didn't know all those reasons, I still love him... because I just do. "He sighed, shaking his head, feeling some kind of weight lifting itself off his shoulders.
"Phew, I was out of it.. but atleast I know what I feel. But.. "
He thought for a moment.
"What the heck was I talking like... or to?! I really was out of it.. "he thought, speaking, though no one was there... "Wow... I could hear my own mind, and now I can't... odd. "he thought to himself, before walking on.
His mind watched as events played out...
"Ken? "
"Huh.... Oh, hello, Daisuke. Didn't see you come in... so, what're you up to? "
"... Nothing. "
"Oh, I see... so.. "
"Ken.. I have something to say.. "
" Sure, Daisuke.. what is it? "
" Ken... I love you. I just realized it, but I love you... I just do. I want to be with you forever... I can't say it any better, since I'd be stumbling over my words, and that'd just be confusing.. so, in so many words, I just love you. "
"... "
"Ken? "
"Well, Daisuke... "
"Yes? "
"Thank you for that. "
"Huh? "
"With that, you've given me the chance to say something... I thought I felt a spark of something when I first met you, and I had no idea what it was.. but, I just love you. I just do, and I just... well, I just.. you know, I just want to be with you.... Be as.close to you as I could be... well... I guess.. "
"Heh.. "
"What is it? "
"You're about as tongue-tied as I was... no, still am. And you sound just as awkward as I did. "
"Love does strange things to the mind, as they say. " "Yes.. "
As the two boys moved to hold each other, to kiss, driven by their love and joy of it.. a voice faded away in the mind.
Anou... kono atamagaokashii shounen-ai denkishousetsu... Kyoumibakai, tadashii? Gomen nasai, I just had to do that horribly written aboveness, including the above probably not so good Japanese which asks if that fic was.. interesting, right?.. well, more or less. Sorry for making you read this... author-smacking tools are down the hall, to the right, past the balcony. (