The Bracelet
Chapter 9
AN..Yea, I've been suffering from a long writers block. I've been struggling with what to do with this fanfic in the last few chapters. I hope this works out...
Harry woke the next morning in a daze. He had hardly slept at all. He and Ron got dressed and hurried downstairs for breakfast. Harry couldn't eat. He took some tea from Mrs Weasley and nibbled some toast whenever she looked at him so she couldn't complain. Ginny came downstairs a few minutes later and sat opposite Harry. She said "Morning" to everyone and got her breakfast and looked up at Harry with a smile of encouragement and sympathy. He smiled back and looked back down into his tea. He was grateful to Ginny for being so nice to him, and for keeping it quiet, and it had made him feel a little better about Hermione coming today, but he was still very nervous.
It was lunchtime when Hermione arrived. After a smiling welcome from everybody, Ginny helped her take her bags upstairs while Molly told Ron and Harry to set the table for lunch. The girls came back down ten minutes later. Harry wondered if Ginny had said anything to Hermione about him, but didn't have the chance to ask her. Just as everyone had finished eating and left the table, Hermione stood up and walked over to Harry.
"Can...can we talk?" She asked.
"Um..yeah." This was it. He was so nervous. She wasn't giving anything away at all.
Harry glanced over at Ron before following Hermione upstairs. They went into Ron's room and he shut the door. She sat on Ron's bed and Harry moved over to the desk and sat down, not wanting to know what the next few seconds would bring. They would change things, definitely, whatever she was about to say...but whether they would be changed for better or worse was yet to be seen. He hated himself for bringing this moment to their friendship. He hated himself for falling in love with her. He noticed the little broomstick she had gotten him for Christmas, in a clear box on the desk.
"So did you like it?" She suddenly asked in the silence. "The broomstick?"
"It's amazing." He muttered.
"Look, Harry...about...what we're not talking about..." Hermione started.
"Listen Hermione." Harry interrupted, with sudden confidence. He felt that if he didn't speak now he never would. "I'm truly sorry for all of this. I know it's my fault. I..."
"Harry...don't do this. Please. Don't." Hermione said in a small voice.
"I know it's my fault." Harry said again. "I don't want to ruin our friendship...that would be awful...but I know how awkward this is...and it's just...just....aaaaargh!" He let out a cry of frustration.
"Harry. Please." Hermione was visibly upset now. Tears were welling in her eyes. Harry looked at her.
"Oh this is great." He yelled, angry at himself once more, for making her cry. "I had to go and be so stupid...and now you're all upset...and..." he sighed deeply and sat with his head in his hands.
Hermione stood up and walked over to him. He looked up at her.
"Oh Harry."
She looked so small and helpless, he stood up and hugged her. He still didn't know why she was crying. She pulled away from him and looked at him.
"Did you mean it?" she asked. "What you said on the train?"
Harry was shocked at hearing the question that he didn't want to answer. "Well...yeah. Yeah I did. But...I don't want to. I can see how upset this has made you...and...I...I can't help what I feel." It still wasn't even clear to him, he had no idea what she must be feeling. They didn't seem to be getting very far.
"Harry...oh..oh god." she groaned in frustration and sat back down on the bed. "You have to go and just....Harry...you're so..."
"What?" He asked, walking closer to her. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her face. She took a deep breath before she spoke.
"You just have to...to barge in like that...and tell me that...."
"Hermione, I'm sorry...I just had to tell you how I felt!" Harry protested.
"No...and...and this beautiful bracelet...I love it...but it's...it's too...." She couldn't find the words. Or maybe she sort of knew them, but couldn't voice them to him. She lifted her sleeve and touched the bracelet, still on her wrist.
"You think it's too much. You think I shouldn't have got you it."
"No, Harry, it's not that...you don't understand."
"What can I not understand!" Harry yelled. Getting more confused and frustrated by the second.
Hermione sighed. They seemed to sit like that for a long time, Hermione sitting with her head in her hands and Harry staring into space, waiting for her to explain. This had started out being his problem. He had felt these....these...feelings....for Hermione. He had told her. And now he was awaiting her reaction. All he could think that would have happened was that she either said she didn't like him that way...or...if luck had it...she would confess she felt the same. But he didn't expect all this. She was hiding something...but what was she not saying? Just at that moment, they were both startled by the door opening and Ron creeping in, looking embarrassed.
"Sorry guys." He said. "Mum wants me to get my washing downstairs. Sorry." He quickly grabbed at the pile of clothes in the corner and shuffled back to the door. "Sorry, sorry." And shut it behind him.
"Hermione. What can't I understand? I'm sorry I shouted...just...tell me what it is. I'm not feeling all that great right now."
"Oh..." she sighed. She stood up and walked around the room, appearing to be thinking deeply. She flopped back down on the bed beside him, she wasn't facing him. "I'm sorry too...I just...I was angry because...well...oh Harry. You had to go and do that to me. You had to walk on the train like that...and..." A few tears sneaked down her cheeks. "You had to just come in like that...and...and tell me you...you loved me....you....you had to go and tell me that....just when I had gotten over you...."
It took a minute for it to sink in. "WHAT?" Harry asked, looking at her incredulously.
Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. "Yes, Harry. I had spent all that time getting over you....and you just....you tell me that....how was I supposed to feel Harry? I don't even know how I feel now..."
"You mean...you...you.." Harry started, but the words just disappeared. He hated seeing her like this, sobbing quietly to herself. He didn't know what to think...he didn't know what to do. This was his best friend...he wanted to hug her...but he just couldn't. He was going to ask why she hadn't told him before...but stopped himself...he had gone through all that to tell her...he knew how she felt...he had just left it too late. He was saddened at this thought...."If I had told her sooner...If I had given her the bracelet for her birthday as planned...no, I didn't know I felt like that then...did I?" he thought to himself. And what was to happen now? Was this a good answer or a bad answer? She had sort of said she felt the same...but that was in the past...she said she was "over him" now...
"I'm sorry Harry. I'm so so sorry." Hermione sobbed.
"I know...I know..."
"Please don't hate me for being so...so..." She collapsed in tears again.
"Oh, Hermione, don't..." Harry was crying now. He hated seeing her like this. He enveloped her in his arms and held her tightly, and they cried together. He thought of that night a few months ago...when they had hugged in the night in the common room, she was crying...and something snapped. That's what she was crying about! She must have been! Just like those times he had spent alone, crying for her...she was doing the same thing! At that thought, he hugged her even tighter. This wasn't at all what he had expected. All the possible outcomes he had played in his head...he hadn't considered this one...
Things had just sort of silently sorted themselves out. He realised....although he still loved her...all the love was now friendship...he hated that he had made her cry...but also loved that he was there for her as a friend to hug...And there it was. It had left him. The burden of all these months...the pain in his heart since he had told her on the train...all left him. Things were clear...the great emptiness was filled...with Hermione's love...with the love for Hermione as a friend...of course, there would always be that little part of him that felt differently...but for now, he was happy with that. He smiled into her hair, and raised his hand to stroke it as she sniffled into his shoulder.
Chapter 9
AN..Yea, I've been suffering from a long writers block. I've been struggling with what to do with this fanfic in the last few chapters. I hope this works out...
Harry woke the next morning in a daze. He had hardly slept at all. He and Ron got dressed and hurried downstairs for breakfast. Harry couldn't eat. He took some tea from Mrs Weasley and nibbled some toast whenever she looked at him so she couldn't complain. Ginny came downstairs a few minutes later and sat opposite Harry. She said "Morning" to everyone and got her breakfast and looked up at Harry with a smile of encouragement and sympathy. He smiled back and looked back down into his tea. He was grateful to Ginny for being so nice to him, and for keeping it quiet, and it had made him feel a little better about Hermione coming today, but he was still very nervous.
It was lunchtime when Hermione arrived. After a smiling welcome from everybody, Ginny helped her take her bags upstairs while Molly told Ron and Harry to set the table for lunch. The girls came back down ten minutes later. Harry wondered if Ginny had said anything to Hermione about him, but didn't have the chance to ask her. Just as everyone had finished eating and left the table, Hermione stood up and walked over to Harry.
"Can...can we talk?" She asked.
"Um..yeah." This was it. He was so nervous. She wasn't giving anything away at all.
Harry glanced over at Ron before following Hermione upstairs. They went into Ron's room and he shut the door. She sat on Ron's bed and Harry moved over to the desk and sat down, not wanting to know what the next few seconds would bring. They would change things, definitely, whatever she was about to say...but whether they would be changed for better or worse was yet to be seen. He hated himself for bringing this moment to their friendship. He hated himself for falling in love with her. He noticed the little broomstick she had gotten him for Christmas, in a clear box on the desk.
"So did you like it?" She suddenly asked in the silence. "The broomstick?"
"It's amazing." He muttered.
"Look, Harry...about...what we're not talking about..." Hermione started.
"Listen Hermione." Harry interrupted, with sudden confidence. He felt that if he didn't speak now he never would. "I'm truly sorry for all of this. I know it's my fault. I..."
"Harry...don't do this. Please. Don't." Hermione said in a small voice.
"I know it's my fault." Harry said again. "I don't want to ruin our friendship...that would be awful...but I know how awkward this is...and it's just...just....aaaaargh!" He let out a cry of frustration.
"Harry. Please." Hermione was visibly upset now. Tears were welling in her eyes. Harry looked at her.
"Oh this is great." He yelled, angry at himself once more, for making her cry. "I had to go and be so stupid...and now you're all upset...and..." he sighed deeply and sat with his head in his hands.
Hermione stood up and walked over to him. He looked up at her.
"Oh Harry."
She looked so small and helpless, he stood up and hugged her. He still didn't know why she was crying. She pulled away from him and looked at him.
"Did you mean it?" she asked. "What you said on the train?"
Harry was shocked at hearing the question that he didn't want to answer. "Well...yeah. Yeah I did. But...I don't want to. I can see how upset this has made you...and...I...I can't help what I feel." It still wasn't even clear to him, he had no idea what she must be feeling. They didn't seem to be getting very far.
"Harry...oh..oh god." she groaned in frustration and sat back down on the bed. "You have to go and just....Harry...you're so..."
"What?" He asked, walking closer to her. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her face. She took a deep breath before she spoke.
"You just have to...to barge in like that...and tell me that...."
"Hermione, I'm sorry...I just had to tell you how I felt!" Harry protested.
"No...and...and this beautiful bracelet...I love it...but it's...it's too...." She couldn't find the words. Or maybe she sort of knew them, but couldn't voice them to him. She lifted her sleeve and touched the bracelet, still on her wrist.
"You think it's too much. You think I shouldn't have got you it."
"No, Harry, it's not that...you don't understand."
"What can I not understand!" Harry yelled. Getting more confused and frustrated by the second.
Hermione sighed. They seemed to sit like that for a long time, Hermione sitting with her head in her hands and Harry staring into space, waiting for her to explain. This had started out being his problem. He had felt these....these...feelings....for Hermione. He had told her. And now he was awaiting her reaction. All he could think that would have happened was that she either said she didn't like him that way...or...if luck had it...she would confess she felt the same. But he didn't expect all this. She was hiding something...but what was she not saying? Just at that moment, they were both startled by the door opening and Ron creeping in, looking embarrassed.
"Sorry guys." He said. "Mum wants me to get my washing downstairs. Sorry." He quickly grabbed at the pile of clothes in the corner and shuffled back to the door. "Sorry, sorry." And shut it behind him.
"Hermione. What can't I understand? I'm sorry I shouted...just...tell me what it is. I'm not feeling all that great right now."
"Oh..." she sighed. She stood up and walked around the room, appearing to be thinking deeply. She flopped back down on the bed beside him, she wasn't facing him. "I'm sorry too...I just...I was angry because...well...oh Harry. You had to go and do that to me. You had to walk on the train like that...and..." A few tears sneaked down her cheeks. "You had to just come in like that...and...and tell me you...you loved me....you....you had to go and tell me that....just when I had gotten over you...."
It took a minute for it to sink in. "WHAT?" Harry asked, looking at her incredulously.
Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. "Yes, Harry. I had spent all that time getting over you....and you just....you tell me that....how was I supposed to feel Harry? I don't even know how I feel now..."
"You mean...you...you.." Harry started, but the words just disappeared. He hated seeing her like this, sobbing quietly to herself. He didn't know what to think...he didn't know what to do. This was his best friend...he wanted to hug her...but he just couldn't. He was going to ask why she hadn't told him before...but stopped himself...he had gone through all that to tell her...he knew how she felt...he had just left it too late. He was saddened at this thought...."If I had told her sooner...If I had given her the bracelet for her birthday as planned...no, I didn't know I felt like that then...did I?" he thought to himself. And what was to happen now? Was this a good answer or a bad answer? She had sort of said she felt the same...but that was in the past...she said she was "over him" now...
"I'm sorry Harry. I'm so so sorry." Hermione sobbed.
"I know...I know..."
"Please don't hate me for being so...so..." She collapsed in tears again.
"Oh, Hermione, don't..." Harry was crying now. He hated seeing her like this. He enveloped her in his arms and held her tightly, and they cried together. He thought of that night a few months ago...when they had hugged in the night in the common room, she was crying...and something snapped. That's what she was crying about! She must have been! Just like those times he had spent alone, crying for her...she was doing the same thing! At that thought, he hugged her even tighter. This wasn't at all what he had expected. All the possible outcomes he had played in his head...he hadn't considered this one...
Things had just sort of silently sorted themselves out. He realised....although he still loved her...all the love was now friendship...he hated that he had made her cry...but also loved that he was there for her as a friend to hug...And there it was. It had left him. The burden of all these months...the pain in his heart since he had told her on the train...all left him. Things were clear...the great emptiness was filled...with Hermione's love...with the love for Hermione as a friend...of course, there would always be that little part of him that felt differently...but for now, he was happy with that. He smiled into her hair, and raised his hand to stroke it as she sniffled into his shoulder.