AN: Well I must apologize for taking so long to post another chapter. I am having trouble posting at this time. The quick edit is not working properly. So if there is something wrong, it's probably me.
Everyone just looked at one another. This was it. They were about to see Mac. Harm was the first to get up and make his way towards the door. Reaching the door, he took one last look over his shoulder. He expected to see them right behind him, but they weren't. They were exactly where he left them.
"You guys coming?"
AJ stepped in front of him.
"You go to her, son. She needs you now. Now go to her and bring her back to us."
With unshed tears in his eyes, Harm replied.
"I will, sir. I promise."
"You know Mac always said you never make a promise you can't keep."
"I don't, sir. I don't plan on losing her. I'm not giving up on her, sir."
"See that you don't."
Harm exited the room and followed the nurse leaving AJ y each looked at each other, while trying to decide what to do. AJ was first to speak up.
"Why don't we all go get some coffee and find the waiting room by the ICU?"
"That sounds like a great idea, sir."
They all exited the room, and they stopped at the nurse's station to let them know where they'll be should Harm come back. While walking to the cafeteria, each was trying to come to grips with the events of the evening.
AJ was thinking that he just saw Mac yesterday. Yesterday. Who knew 24 hours later, her would be at Bethesda wondering if she's going to survive.
Bud and Harriet were thinking about the conversation they had with Mac earlier in the day. They were taking AJ and Jimmy to the park tomorrow for a picnic. They invited Mac and Harm, since it had been so long since they had seen the boys. Mac said she would come, and she would ask Harm for them since she was going to see him that day. Of course, Harriet became exited at the prospect of Harm and Mac spending the evening together, and then they would be together all day Sunday with her and her family. Bud kept telling her that Mac said it was a working dinner, but she didn't care. Neither could believe they were here. It seemed like they just spoke to her. It showed them just how fragile life can be.
Harm was having trouble of his own. In his mind, he was happy to finally get to see Mac, but he was afraid to see her, too. He kept trying to brace himself for what he was about to see. He knew he needed to be strong for her. He hoped his strength would bring her back to him. He had to make things right between them. It wasn't until they reached Mac's room that Harm noticed his hands were shaking.
"She's in there, sir. I need to tell you what to expect when you see her. There are going to be a bunch of tubes, wires, and machines hooked up to her. As Dr. Morris said, she had a perforated lung. We have her on a machine that will keep her left lung slightly inflated. We also have her on a broad-spectrum antibiotic, and she is going to receive 2 pints of blood. Her head is wrapped, and she received 16 stitches to the left side of her head. There is a cast on her left arm, and all other injuries are hidden under her gown. Everything else is superficial, and we have cleaned and dressed them accordingly. Do you have any questions before we go in?"
"Can she hear me when I talk to her?"
"Some studies have shown that some coma patients hear people talking to them. I always encourage family to talk to the patients. It always seems to help the family to deal."
"Thank you, ma'am."
"Ok. Here we go."
Both walked into Mac's room. When Harm saw Mac, a lone tear fell down his cheek. The nurse motioned to the chair next to the bed and left him alone. Harm slowly made his way towards the bed. He couldn't believe the vision before him. This couldn't possibly be Mac. Not his Sarah. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare he was sure he was having. She looked like she was asleep, but the tubes and machines reminded him where he was. Taking her hand in his, he began to talk to her.
"Hey marine. Is quite a mess you got yourself into. Just know that the Navy's here to save the day."
Humor seemed to be the only thing Harm could think of at the moment. He was still in shock about everything that happened. Not to mention the person laying before him now.
"Sarah? Can you hear me? Come back to me please. I need you so much. I need to apologize for being such an asshole to you tonight. You were right. I never let you get a work in. All this is so new to me, Sarah. You…me…us. When you told me there would never be an us, I believed you. Damn it! We were just starting to find our way back to each other. I can't lose you, Sarah. I just can't."
Tears were flowing freely now as Harm laid his head on his and Mac's hand. He laid there, crying, for quite some time, when a nurse touched his shoulder.
"Sir?"
Harm looked up quickly, and he turned to the nurse. He hurriedly brushed the rears aside and willed the rest away. Now was not the time to have the emotional breakdown he deserved.
"Yes."
"I'm sorry, sir. Visitors are only allowed in here for 15 minutes."
"What do you mean?! I'm not leaving her!"
Those are the rules, sir. I truly am sorry. Maybe you could talk to the doctor about allowing you to stay longer. I know he has done it in the past."
"Ok. Can I have one more minute, please?"
"Certainly."
Harm turned to Mac.
"I have to go for now, Sarah, but I'll be back."
He leaned closer to her ear, and whispered.
"I love you, Sarah."
With that, he turned and exited the room. Harm started to make his way back to his friends still reeling from the experience. He didn't know how much more he could take of this. How will his heart survive if she doesn't wake up?
Little did he know that Mac was going through her own private hell.
'Where the hell am I? What's going on? Where's Harm?'
Just as she finished the last sentence, the memories of the night came flooding back. It was like her mind was playing the night's events like a movie with her as the only viewer. She remembered the whole evening. She and Harm had an excellent dinner and conversation. Then they began to talk serious. Next thing she saw was the argument, and she leaving his apartment. She remembered feeling angry and confused. Angry for how Harm treated her. Confused for trying to figure out what to do now.
Flashback
'What am I going to do with him? Why do I let him get to me like this? I shouldn't have let my anger get the best of me. I should apologize to him. If this is going to work, we need to accept and deal with each other's issues.'
Doubt started to creep it's way in.
'Why would it work out? Every man I've ever met has passed through my life. I just can't keep hold of any of them. Maybe my father was right. Maybe I am useless and good for nothing. Maybe I don't deserve to be happy.'
Thoughts like those kept flashing through her mind, as tears fell down her face. She was so wrapped up that she didn't see the SUV about to plow into her. Her last thoughts were feelings of despair and worthlessness.
End Flashback
'Oh my God! I remember it now. I was in an accident, but I can't wake up damn it!'
Suddenly voices came from everywhere. Voices of men from her past. All telling her the same things.
'Why fight, Sarah? You have nothing to live for. Just give up. He doesn't want you. He wants a woman who can give him children. Walk away, Sarah. Walk away.'
'NNNOOO! This is a dream! That's all it is. Come on, Mac, wake up. Wake up!'
The voices assaulted her again.
'This isn't a dream, Sarah. There's nothing you can do to fight us. Just give it up.'
Mac slid to the ground, wrapping her arms around her legs, and began to rock. She prayed that she could find the strength to fight the demons in her mind and wake up. That's when another voice came to her. It was someone she knew, but she could barely make out what was said.
'I love you, Sarah.'
She fought to figure out where the voice came from, but he memories of her past overwhelmed her. They sent her into a deeper pit of despair. She wondered if she would be able to make it out.
Meanwhile, Harm made his way back to his friends. He was completely unaware of the internal struggle Mac was in. He was having one of his own. The vision of Mac in that room assaulted him with a vengeance. It was tearing him apart. A voice inside his head kept repeating to him that it was his fault she was here. If he could have voiced his feelings, the night would have ended differently. Another voice was also telling him that it's all Sturgis' fault. If he was paying attention to where he was going, Mac would be safe. He was so lost in his thoughts that He didn't realize he had slid down a wall, and he was rocking. His mom use to rock him when he had nightmares about his dad. It always seemed to help him feel better. This time, however, it didn't work. He couldn't stop the nightmares that haunted his mind. He couldn't take it. His control was slipping fast. He had to get out of here. He had to clear his head. Harm got up and rushed out the hospital, unaware that his friends were looking for him.
Bud, Harriet, and AJ made their way to ICU. It had been a while since Harm had went to see Mac. They knew visitors were only allowed in there for 15 minutes. It has been 30 minutes, and he still hasn't shown up. They all were concerned about him. They could imagine what Mac may have looked like, and it probably hit Harm pretty bad.
"Excuse me, ma'am. We're looking for Comm. Rabb. He came to see LtCol. Mackenzie. Have you seen him?"
"Yes, ma'am. I did. I was the nurse who took him to her. He just came out 15 about minutes ago."
"Really. You didn't happen to see where he went?"
"He looked like he was heading towards the elevators."
"How did he look?"
"To be honest. He didn't look so good. When I went to get him, he was crying. It was so sad. When he finally came out, he looked so lost."
"Thank you, Ensign. Do you think we can see her for a minute. We just need to see she's alive."
"I was just about to go take her vitals. I don't see why you couldn't see her for a moment."
"Thank you very much ma'am."
The nurse took them to Mac's room. She explained Mac's condition and appearance to them. Once she was finished, she brought them inside. A gasp could be heard from all three of them when they saw her. Disbelief emanated from them. This couldn't be Mac. The woman on the bed barely resembled the marine they knew.
Harriet grabbed Bud's hand a squeezed. Tears were flowing down her face. Here was the woman she came to when she had a problem. Now she's laying in a hospital bed fighting for her life.
Bud gave Harriet a gentle squeeze to reassure her that everything would be of. He knew the bond these two shared, and he also knew how strong Harriet is. She will get through this, and he will be there to help her. He figured if he could just focus on his wife, he wouldn't have to feel the pain in his heart. Pain for both Mac and Harm. This must have killed him to see her like this. Bud wanted to find Harm and make sure he was ok.
AJ had trouble with the sight before him also. This was his ex Chief-of-Staff. The person he had counted on numerous times in the past. She looked so fragile now. She didn't look like the stoic marine he knew.
After thinking the nurse, the group made their way back to the waiting room.
"We have to find Harm."
"I agree with you, sir, but where do we start?"
"Start asking around the different floors. I'll join the search as soon as I can."
"Where are you going, sir?"
"To see Sturgis. He wanted to know how Mac was."
"Ok, sir. We'll start here and meet back by Sturgis' room."
"Well, let's get to it."
Bud and Harriet made their way down the hall, while AJ made his way to Sturgis' room. Once there, he knocked and entered.
"How are you doing, Sturgis?"
"Still sore, sir. I take it you're here to tell me about Mac."
"Yes, I am, but first I want to know if there is anymore news about Chaplain Turner."
"The nurses came in about 30 minutes ago and said he was awake and asking for me. They told him what happened, and he insisted on speaking to me. I just hung up with him. He's more concerned about me than himself. Can you believe that?"
"Actually, I can. Since he's up, I'll try to go see him tomorrow."
"Well, I maybe coming with you. So far, all my tests are normal, so I should be released tomorrow."
"That's good to hear."
"Ok. So tell me. How's Mac?"
"She's not good. She's in a coma, and they don't know for sure if she's going to wake up. She has a punctured lung, 3 broken ribs, and she lost her spleen. She also had a broken arm, and a hairline fracture in her hip and femur.
"Oh my God! What have I done?!"
"Sturgis, you need to get a hold of yourself. I know this comes as a shock. It hit us all pretty hard. Hell, we just got done seeing her, and my head still can't comprehend it."
"I know, but I'm the reason she's like that. If only I was paying better attention. What are the chances of her waking up? How will I be able to face myself everyday knowing what I did?"
"Sturgis, I'm not going to lie to you, and say it's going to be easy. I'll tell you a story. I was dating someone a few years ago. She was killed by someone from my past, when she stepped on a bomb he planted under the steps of my house. It was my fault she was killed. He was after me, not her. I know the situation is different for you, but understand we have our own burdens to carry. You are a strong person. You will get past this."
"Thanks, AJ. You're right. It's not going to be easy, but I can get through this. How's Harm?"
"I have no idea how he is now. When we heard about Mac, he took it pretty hard. He went to go see her, and we haven't seen him since. The nurse said he looked pretty bad when he left Mac's room. Bud and Harriet are looking for him now. I'm about to join them. I just wanted to make sure you were ok."
"Thanks for stopping by AJ. Go ahead and look for Harm. He needs you more than I do. He doesn't' handle feelings well. Never has. Especially when it's someone he loves."
"You know, too?"
"Yeah. I also now that Mac loves him, too. She let it slip during an investigation we were working on. Mattie let it slip after a basketball game a few weeks ago."
"Shame those two never figured it out for themselves."
"Yeah, and now it maybe too late."
"Don't think like that, son. Have a little faith. Everything has a way of working out in the end."
"For everyone's sake, AJ, I hope you're right."
"Me too. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to join Bud and Harriet."
"Bye, AJ."
AJ left Sturgis' room just as Bud and Harriet were walking towards him..
"We have searched everywhere, sir. Harm is nowhere to be found."
"Well, where the hell is he?!"
Well here it is. I hope you enjoyed it. Since I have not posted in a while, you get a 2 for 1 special. Read on. Now all you have to do is hit that little lilac button and review. You know you want to. (evil grin)