Standard Disclaimer Applies: these people aren't mine except the obvious one.

AN: Still feeling quite disheartened from lack of feedback. That way it looks like noone's reading this and there's no point in carrying on posting, so please let me know whether I'm wasting my time typing this up.

Chapter 4

The next morning Raven appeared at breakfast looking even paler than usual with dark circles under her eyes. Hermione had woken up at about 6am to see her sat up on her bed hugging her legs close to her chest. The moonlight streaming through the window illuminated the track of the tears that were falling. This morning however, her face was dry as she sat down to her usual meal of steak. People along the table were beginning to whisper about her strange diet, but Hermione had explained to everyone about anaemia in the common room and that it was almost impossible to get the Muggle treatments whilst at school. This morning the usual look of ravenous hunger was vacant from her lifeless eyes. Hermione leaned over to Harry, concerned about the girl.

"We've got to do something to stope her hunger. She's not showing it now, but she's going to end up doing something crazy if it isn't sorted. I went to the…"

"Library and did some reading…" Harry concluded for her, "but what can we do? She said Snape didn't teach us the right potion."

"Stop talking about me! I have exceptional hearing you know, or didn't your books tell you that? Why not just ask if you want to know something? I've had enough of people going behind my back, now leave me alone. I can take care of myself. I've put up with it since before I could walk so stop interfering. For once in my life I'd like to be a normal student. Need the bathroom, see you in class."

Before anyone could reply Raven had grabbed her bag and strode out of the hall.

"What was that all about?"

Hermione smacked Ron around the back of the head, "Oh Ron!" she sighed, "You never do get emotions do you? I don't know why I put up wit you sometimes." She grinned despite herself and took hold of Ron's hand on the table. Harry just stared at the pair, and Ron quickly let go of Hermione's hand, ears turning red.

"Are… are you two an item?" Harry was unsure how he had managed to stutter out the words.

"Ummm… yeah we were going to…" Harry cut Ron off by standing up violently, almost knocking Neville out of his seat.

"Don't go giving me that 'we were going to tell you but' crap! Stop hiding things from me, I thought we were friends. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm bloody happy for you, now don't ever bother coming near me again. What's the point in friends when they don't talk to you?" Harry abandoned his breakfast virtually untouched and stormed away from the Gryffindor table, following the path Raven had taken only a couple of minutes before, not caring that the whole school were watching him.

Raven barged her way into a cubicle and locked the door behind her. She uttered a spell which meant that most magical methods wouldn't be able to open the door, put the seat down and sat on it. She let out a noise of irritation and buried her fingers in her hair, letting her head drop down somewhere between her legs. After a few moments she reached into her bag and pulled out a new packet of refill blades for a craft knife, setting them down gently on her knee. Pushing the sleeves of her robes up, her eyes momentarily flicked to the criss-crossed array of scars that covered both arms.

"Just a fucking freak, noone gives a fuck about you." She muttered the words under her breath, clearly meaning noone but herself to hear them, while pulling out a fresh blade from the pack. "Did you think it would be different this time? I hate you, I want you to die. Pathetic, useless, good for nothing piece of shit." With the final insult she pushed the blade down into her arm, then dragged it roughly across the skin. It instantly began to bleed, the cut was at least a centimetre deep. The blood formed droplets for a few seconds until the surface tension was overcome and the warm red liquid began flowing freely down her arm. Without thinking she repeated this action until she had five separate bleeding woulds on her upper arms. Her energy seemingly drained she slumped back to lean on the cistern, tears being allowed to flow freely down her face.

Harry kicked open the toilet door and, noticing that noone was around, flew into a rage. "Why the fuck do people think I need babying? I'm so fucking sick of this shit!" Without realising he flung his fist towards the mirror, hardly felt his knuckles breaking as the glass smashed. It even took him a few moments to notice the glass shards embedded in his hand, the blood trickling between his fingers. Pausing for a second an idea hit him, and a sort of manic smile revealed itself on his face. Half-heartedly muttering "Reparo" he went through his pockets to find the penknife Sirius had sent him for Christmas a couple of years ago. He snapped the blade open, marvelling at the light reflecting from the sharpened edge. As a test he dragged it across the inside of his forearm. The pain seemed to sum up his anger at everything going on in his life, the colour of his blood felt strangely comforting. He grinned to himself and quickly pocketed the knife, heading towards Defense Against the Dark Arts, but not before making a mental note of how to calm down in future.

***

Raven stumbled into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom five minutes early to find Harry already sat at the back of the room in a corner. Not wanting to appear too antisocial on her second day of class, she took the seat next to him.

"You're bleeding." Her voice came out in a monotone.

"My fist had an accident with a mirror. It's fixed now though."  Raven glanced over, eyes widening as she saw the blood that was still flowing. She gently took hold of his hand, a ravenous expression crossed her face, and Harry saw that she was trying her best to control herself. Had she just licked her lips?

"Erm, you don't mind if I..? Seeing as you're already bleeding and stuff…"

"Yeah whatever." Harry nearly jumped as Raven slowly raised his hand towards her lips and began licking his hand clean. A soft groan of satisfaction issued from her lips. "Er Raven, what if someone comes?"

She grinned at him with a look of exquisite pleasure, "Relax, I can hear anyone coming." She lifted her head up slowly, eyes closed. "Damn, you taste good. Next time you hurt yourself, let me know." Before Harry even noticed, she covered the wound with her hand and Harry felt the strange feeling of the skin knitting back together as the cuts sealed themselves.

"Woah! How did you do that without your wand?"

She simply winked at him and whispered one word, "Magic."

A few minutes passed before a breathless Ron and Hermione entered the room, but Harry felt so at peace with the world that he smiled at them, completely forgetting the argument that had taken place a mere 30 minutes ago. Hermione was breathless, her face flushed pink.

"Harry! I'm so sorry! We'd have come sooner but McGonagall had us cornered!"

"Woah, woah. Slow down Hermione. I just over reacted. I'm dead chuffed for you, seriously. About time you got together anyway, you've had it coming for years. So just sit down will you? Let's forget about it."

The couple looked at each other, utterly surprised at Harry's sudden change of heart, but decided to just drop it and took the seats immediately in front of Harry and Raven. The four chatted nonchalently as the rest of the class filtered in in dribs and drabs, yawning sleepily. A group of Slytherins meandered in, led by a strutting Draco Malfoy. Harry groaned as he realised that lessons were not timetabled by houses in the upper years. To the annoyance of Raven, Malfoy took the seat next to her, announcing his arrival with a sharp tug on her hair.

"Touch me again Malfoy and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth. By the way, you should find some more attractive hangers on. That one there has got a face like a Hippogriff's arse."

Pansy Parkinson buried her head in her hands while the other Slytherins glared evilly at the new student. Harry and Ron could hardly suppress their laughter, and even Hermione was having trouble pulling off her disapproving glare. The sniggering ceased as Professor Lupin entered the room, smiling warmly.

"Good to see you back Professor!" called Dean Thomas. A general murmur or agreement came from around the room, but Lupin waved them off, a little embarrassed.

"It's good to see you all again, for the benefit of Miss Black and those who's memory has failed them I will introduce myself. I am Professor Remus Lupin. Before rumours start flying around, yes I am a werewolf. However, Professor Snape has kindly agreed to supply me with the Wolfsbane potion which means I am no threat to humans during the nights of the full moon. I'm sure you will all excuse my absences around 'that

time of the month'." a few people giggled, "However this is no excuse for not doing your homework. I will be leaving full instructions with your cover teachers and we still have a fortnight until the next full moon."

Harry smiled, the presence of Lupin made him feel secure and the thought of one of his father's best friends being permanently around relaxed him a little. "Right, all being said I thought we'd make a start with a little revision."

The lesson was mostly a practical one, demonstrating to Lupin what they had learned during their five years at Hogwarts. The Gryffindors far outshone the other houses, owing mostly to the illicit Defence Against the Dark Arts group Harry had been in charge of the previous year. Gryffindor house left the lesson 100 points up, while Slytherin had only earned 10. Harry, Ron and Hermione had a hurried conversation with their old teacher before leaving for break, however Raven remained in her seat.

"Something bothering you Miss Black?" enquired Lupim, walking slowly to her desk and sitting on top of it.

"Remus, just call me Raven okay. You're going to let it slip sooner or later. I can't stand for you to call me 'Miss Black', it freaks me out and I've got no Muggle doctors to prescribe the happy pills. Oh yeah, if you want me to whip up your potion give me a shout. Severus wouldn't like it but I've already let myself slip. Managed to stop myself from getting killed by Malfoy. I suppose 6th year students shouldn't advertise the fact that they know more than the teacher. Oh, I just don't know any more! Last night I was lying in bed trying to sleep and I felt people dying. Totally freaked and made an arse of myself. Then I see the papers this morning, and it was real. He knows I can feel it. What did I do wrong Remus? Why did I end up like this? As if the vampire thing wasn't enough…"

A knocking on the door interrupted her, and when the visitor showed themselves to be Professor McGonagall Raven made her excuses and left Remus with a concerned expression on his face as she swiftly exited the room. The next lesson being a 'study period', she headed to the common room without paying any attention to other people in the corridors, muttering words softly to herself, "Need music. Makes it go away. Makes it not exist." Even the stares of the other students as she whispered frantically to herself failed to switch off her autopilot and before she realised she was infront of the portrait hole, into the tower and on her bed. She grabbed her CD player and stuffed the earphones in. The volume was cranked up so high that she didn't notice Hermione watching as she sang along to a Muggle band from Finland.

"From lashes to ashes
And from lust to dust
In your sweetest torment
I'm lost
And no heaven can help us
Ready, willing and able
To lose it all
For a kiss so fatal
And so worn
Oh it's heartache every moment
From the start 'til the end
It's heartache every moment
With you…"

Her voice became desperate and she ignored the tears streaming down both cheeks. Hermione's face had a deathly serious expression, her smile as she had entered the room completely gone as she watched the normally confident girl collapse into despair in front of her.

~***~

AN: The song is Heartache Every Moment by the wonderful wonderful band called HIM (HER in the US). Go listen. They rule. Valo is one of my gods.