May 3
Oh, these past few days have been heaven. Last I left, I was going on my romantic evening with Remus and the word romantic doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. We walked across the grounds to the little pavilion by the lake. Remus had managed to scoop a few bottles of Butterbeer (courtesy of his wild and daring side) and we sat under the roof of the pavilion on the picnic tables, drinking Butterbeer in the crescent moonlight.
I've never felt so alive. Nothing spectacular happened, but it was just everything—the night air, the breeze that brushed past us, the way Remus held my hand gently and looked into my eyes, the way my heart beat so fast I thought I was going to faint; everything was so perfect. And the way he kissed me...it was like never before. So incredibly soft and gentle, showing his true appreciation of me as a person, but so stimulating. I felt as though my entire mind was brimming with excitement. I shivered with exhilaration; this was the way things were supposed to be. I felt electrified by his every touch and the way he looked at me was pure ecstasy. I know this sounds insane but I've never felt so wild, so carefree and so happy in my entire life.
When we returned to the castle, we sat in the common room until it was almost two in the morning. Oh, how badly I wanted to tell him that I was ready to move our relationship further; I love him so much that my heart actually aches when I leave him. And so it did when we parted ways to go to our separate dormitories that night. I lay awake for a long time that night, pondering what our future together would be like. Our lives will be filled with pure joy and bliss. We would marry under the bright blue sky and raise several children happily.
I told Lily every detail the following morning and she looked positively radiant for me. "You're so in love!" she cried, her cheeks rosy with my description. "It's so cute!"
"It's not cute," I reprimanding gently. "It's everything I've ever wanted it to be. And more." I sighed. "I've dated guys before but nothing's ever been like this."
She smiled. "I'll never think twice about werewolves again," she said and we both giggled.
During breakfast that morning, Remus and I shared several special looks and he caught up with me before classes. "I want to do this properly," he said, holding my hands carefully. Some little tiny part of me actually thought he was going to propose and I began panicking. Although that's what I wanted, I'm only seventeen!
"Will you go to the graduation dance with me?" he asked and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Of course," I replied, grinning. He held me tight to him and I began laughing. "I already agreed," I reminded him. "You don't have to get so emotional."
I could hear the smile in his voice. "I want my last dance at Hogwarts to end with you in my arms," he whispered and I felt my heart melt. "It's going to be perfect," he breathed when we pulled apart.
I can't help but agree.
Lily and James, however, are becoming feisty. Lily's had a fire lit under her ever since James and Sirius revealed that Voldemort's father was a Muggle. Every mention of his name, her eyes go dark and she usually breaks the nearest thing to her. There's been no more news of any attacks or anything of the likes, and I'm certain there are more to come. That's what scares me so much.
All six of us have started studying harder for our exams. "I want to be an Auror," Sirius declared loudly one day during a study period. "And you mark my words, one way or another, I will fight the dark forces."
James snickered. "Right," he said. "And I'll actually be able to produce a Patronus for my exam." He kept flicking his wand, but nothing seemed to be happening.
"It's better with a real Dementor around," Lily piped up. "I love you, James, but I'm not going to go get one for you."
I saw Sirius look up sharply. It was the first time Lily had ever said 'I love you' to James in front of the others and even James looked a little embarrassed. He didn't say anything, however, just continued to work on his ever-failing Patronus.
I'm now convinced that I can pass my NEWTs without much fail. Professor McGonagall began giving us little pre-tests to better prepare us for the real exams. So far there have been three. I received a ninety percent on the first one, an eighty-three percent on the second one and an eighty percent on the third one. Professor McGonagall says if I learn to relax during my exam, I should have no trouble passing with flying colors.
Gotta go and study now. I'll be back soon...hopefully.
Yours in partnership,
Abby
May 11
Okay, so it wasn't all too soon. At least I'm still in May, right?
We had an introduction to the students of Durmstrang School today. What a bunch of pathetic losers if I ever saw one. They think they're all pretty suave because their school studies the dark arts, but when Sirius jumped out and pretended to turn a particularly lanky boy into a snail, he began wailing at the top of his lungs and Sirius was reprimanded pretty heavily.
"These students are guests here with their Headmaster," Dumbledore lectured gently, but you could tell he was really upset this time. "I would expect better behavior from a Hogwarts student."
"He really doesn't know us that well, does he?" James asked when Dumbledore was out of hearing range. We all snickered.
I've noticed that Peter is a lot more jumpy than he used to be. Now, if Sirius surprises him like he usually does, Peter nearly cries with fright. I don't know what he's expecting but Voldemort isn't going to come poking around our school grounds any time soon. He's stupid, but not that dumb. Dumbledore would take care of him in three seconds flat...unless he brought his damn Death Eaters with him.
Remus told me that he saw the little wormy kid that no one likes, Lucius Malfoy, talking to the Durmstrang Headmaster. "I wanted to go to your school," he said, "but my parents thought I should come here. I'm in Slytherin, however...that's almost as evil as Durmstrang."
Severus Snape was not far behind Malfoy, confessing his beliefs that he should join Voldemort's Death Eaters. "I want to serve," he said in his slimy voice. Of course, all these conversations were happening in the strictest of confidence, but they should have chosen a better location than the opening to the Whomping Willow. Apparently, Malfoy got hit quite a bit by the tree before he Immobilized it. That would certainly explain the black eye that appeared, although Malfoy is telling a different story.
"I got in a fight!" he will cry to anyone who stands still long enough to listen. "If you think I look bad, you should see the other guy!"
Remus only laughed. I know for a fact that he despises Malfoy because Malfoy believes that half-breeds should be slaughtered in public. Of course, Malfoy doesn't know about Remus' condition, but it's still the fact that he feels that way. "I'd like to have a go at him in a few nights' time," Remus told me, glowering with hatred. "Let's see him insult half-breeds while he's fighting with a werewolf!"
I put my hand on his arm to calm him down. "Easy," I told him. "Malfoy will get what's coming to him." I glared at Malfoy, who was now downing bottles of Butterbeer like they were going out of style. "Everyone does."
Gonna take a walk to the water before dark...Remus is being taken to the Shrieking Shack tonight and I want a bit of time with him before he's gone. Lily and I are planning on pulling an all-night study session tonight to better prepare for the theories of our magical exams. "Without theory, magic is nothing," as Dumbledore always says.
Magically yours,
Abby
May 18
Remus came back a few days ago, looking worse than ever. I can't help but feel sorry for him, although he insists I don't have to. "I'm fine," he protests when I ask him to go see Madam Pomfrey to help him clear up the cuts he receives. "I'm just tired, that's all." And I know this to be true, because he usually falls asleep in the common room for the first night or two back.
Dumbledore gave a speech as to why the Durmstrang people were here last week. Apparently Dumbledore is holding conferences with each Headmaster from the other two wizarding schools in Europe. Beaubaxton is next week and students are accompanying their Headmaster as well. Apparently all these students are interested in visiting Hogwarts, seeing as Dumbledore is one of the greatest wizards that ever lived.
Dumbledore claims that he had "little to no success" with the Durmstrang crowd, but that Beaubaxton seems to be more promising. "You must remember," he warned us, "that Durmstrang believes in different values than Hogwarts. That, they believe, gives them more power over the rest of us. However, Beaubaxton is as equally powerful in their own strengths and we can only hope that they will assist us in our fight."
"Right," James said. "Durmstrang has 'different values' than us; what's that? Kill anyone who gets in your way?"
Sirius snickered. "Pretty much," he said, glancing up the Great Hall at Dumbledore. "I would assume so, anyway."
Once again, Peter remained silent through the whole conversation. I've noticed that the five of us could carry on a complete conversation, almost forgetting that little Peter is sitting beside us. I don't know what's up with him, but Lily's trying to hook him up with Sally Dobson, another seventh-year who is just as short and as squat as Peter. That should be an interesting match, seeing as Sally has even less to say than Peter nowadays.
I'm starting to feel as though we're all in some big joke here.
Jokingly (but not funnily) yours,
Abby
May 23
Ho hum. The days get weirder as they get longer. More time for insanity. And trust me, there's a lot of that going around right now. James and Sirius returned from a night of 'pubbing' as they call it and James actually proposed marriage to Lily last night. At first I thought she was going to slap him, but instead she stood up and told him softly, "Just go to bed, James."
"But Lily...baby," he protested, but Lily held a hand up and pushed him towards the staircase. "I wanna get married!" were his last slurred words of the evening. When he and Sirius had successfully made it up the staircase, Lily sat down with her head in her hands and it looked as though she was going to cry.
"Lily?" Remus' voice was soft and kind. "You okay?"
She grinned at him through the threatening tears. "Fine," she answered. "I just didn't think my first marriage proposal would be persuaded by alcohol."
Remus laughed and threw an arm around her shoulders. "You've been studying too much," he advised her. "You need to sleep."
"I need to pass my exams!" she argued, reaching for her book again. Fighting against her, Remus wrestled the book away from her. She glared at him, but a small smile played her lips. "I need to study," she told him quietly.
"I know," he replied just as softly, "but tomorrow's another day. You need to sleep now."
Lily closed her eyes in defeat and rose from the couch. "Fine," she said sulkily. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." She went up the staircase, leaving her books on the table, which Remus packed up for her. Turning to me, he smiled.
"I hope she can sleep," he said, sitting down on the couch opposite where Lily sat and threw an arm around my own shoulders. He turned my face toward him and looked deep into my eyes. "Are you going to be able to sleep?"
I shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?" I replied blankly. "Whether I fail my NEWTs or not, I'm pretty okay with that."
He laughed softly. "Well, I'm just making sure," he said, examining my hands. "Because I could help you sleep, if you wanted."
Oh boy.
My first thought was that I should stand up and run. I thought my instincts would demand that. Instead, I reached forth and brought his lips to mine softly, without pressure. The kiss lasted for several minutes and when we broke apart, Remus' eyes were still closed.
"I'm going up to bed," I said, standing up and leaning over so that my face was still level with his. "But I'll be dreaming of graduation." I guess my eyes let on something because he smiled gently at me and kissed my lips once more.
"Me too," he said. I turned and left him sitting on the couch, but my mind was reeling and didn't stop until early in the morning when sleep finally found me. I guess I know in my heart that I'm ready to move on with our relationship and whatever happens after that will happen. I'm sure it will only be for the better.
Charmed,
Abby
Oh, these past few days have been heaven. Last I left, I was going on my romantic evening with Remus and the word romantic doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. We walked across the grounds to the little pavilion by the lake. Remus had managed to scoop a few bottles of Butterbeer (courtesy of his wild and daring side) and we sat under the roof of the pavilion on the picnic tables, drinking Butterbeer in the crescent moonlight.
I've never felt so alive. Nothing spectacular happened, but it was just everything—the night air, the breeze that brushed past us, the way Remus held my hand gently and looked into my eyes, the way my heart beat so fast I thought I was going to faint; everything was so perfect. And the way he kissed me...it was like never before. So incredibly soft and gentle, showing his true appreciation of me as a person, but so stimulating. I felt as though my entire mind was brimming with excitement. I shivered with exhilaration; this was the way things were supposed to be. I felt electrified by his every touch and the way he looked at me was pure ecstasy. I know this sounds insane but I've never felt so wild, so carefree and so happy in my entire life.
When we returned to the castle, we sat in the common room until it was almost two in the morning. Oh, how badly I wanted to tell him that I was ready to move our relationship further; I love him so much that my heart actually aches when I leave him. And so it did when we parted ways to go to our separate dormitories that night. I lay awake for a long time that night, pondering what our future together would be like. Our lives will be filled with pure joy and bliss. We would marry under the bright blue sky and raise several children happily.
I told Lily every detail the following morning and she looked positively radiant for me. "You're so in love!" she cried, her cheeks rosy with my description. "It's so cute!"
"It's not cute," I reprimanding gently. "It's everything I've ever wanted it to be. And more." I sighed. "I've dated guys before but nothing's ever been like this."
She smiled. "I'll never think twice about werewolves again," she said and we both giggled.
During breakfast that morning, Remus and I shared several special looks and he caught up with me before classes. "I want to do this properly," he said, holding my hands carefully. Some little tiny part of me actually thought he was going to propose and I began panicking. Although that's what I wanted, I'm only seventeen!
"Will you go to the graduation dance with me?" he asked and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Of course," I replied, grinning. He held me tight to him and I began laughing. "I already agreed," I reminded him. "You don't have to get so emotional."
I could hear the smile in his voice. "I want my last dance at Hogwarts to end with you in my arms," he whispered and I felt my heart melt. "It's going to be perfect," he breathed when we pulled apart.
I can't help but agree.
Lily and James, however, are becoming feisty. Lily's had a fire lit under her ever since James and Sirius revealed that Voldemort's father was a Muggle. Every mention of his name, her eyes go dark and she usually breaks the nearest thing to her. There's been no more news of any attacks or anything of the likes, and I'm certain there are more to come. That's what scares me so much.
All six of us have started studying harder for our exams. "I want to be an Auror," Sirius declared loudly one day during a study period. "And you mark my words, one way or another, I will fight the dark forces."
James snickered. "Right," he said. "And I'll actually be able to produce a Patronus for my exam." He kept flicking his wand, but nothing seemed to be happening.
"It's better with a real Dementor around," Lily piped up. "I love you, James, but I'm not going to go get one for you."
I saw Sirius look up sharply. It was the first time Lily had ever said 'I love you' to James in front of the others and even James looked a little embarrassed. He didn't say anything, however, just continued to work on his ever-failing Patronus.
I'm now convinced that I can pass my NEWTs without much fail. Professor McGonagall began giving us little pre-tests to better prepare us for the real exams. So far there have been three. I received a ninety percent on the first one, an eighty-three percent on the second one and an eighty percent on the third one. Professor McGonagall says if I learn to relax during my exam, I should have no trouble passing with flying colors.
Gotta go and study now. I'll be back soon...hopefully.
Yours in partnership,
Abby
May 11
Okay, so it wasn't all too soon. At least I'm still in May, right?
We had an introduction to the students of Durmstrang School today. What a bunch of pathetic losers if I ever saw one. They think they're all pretty suave because their school studies the dark arts, but when Sirius jumped out and pretended to turn a particularly lanky boy into a snail, he began wailing at the top of his lungs and Sirius was reprimanded pretty heavily.
"These students are guests here with their Headmaster," Dumbledore lectured gently, but you could tell he was really upset this time. "I would expect better behavior from a Hogwarts student."
"He really doesn't know us that well, does he?" James asked when Dumbledore was out of hearing range. We all snickered.
I've noticed that Peter is a lot more jumpy than he used to be. Now, if Sirius surprises him like he usually does, Peter nearly cries with fright. I don't know what he's expecting but Voldemort isn't going to come poking around our school grounds any time soon. He's stupid, but not that dumb. Dumbledore would take care of him in three seconds flat...unless he brought his damn Death Eaters with him.
Remus told me that he saw the little wormy kid that no one likes, Lucius Malfoy, talking to the Durmstrang Headmaster. "I wanted to go to your school," he said, "but my parents thought I should come here. I'm in Slytherin, however...that's almost as evil as Durmstrang."
Severus Snape was not far behind Malfoy, confessing his beliefs that he should join Voldemort's Death Eaters. "I want to serve," he said in his slimy voice. Of course, all these conversations were happening in the strictest of confidence, but they should have chosen a better location than the opening to the Whomping Willow. Apparently, Malfoy got hit quite a bit by the tree before he Immobilized it. That would certainly explain the black eye that appeared, although Malfoy is telling a different story.
"I got in a fight!" he will cry to anyone who stands still long enough to listen. "If you think I look bad, you should see the other guy!"
Remus only laughed. I know for a fact that he despises Malfoy because Malfoy believes that half-breeds should be slaughtered in public. Of course, Malfoy doesn't know about Remus' condition, but it's still the fact that he feels that way. "I'd like to have a go at him in a few nights' time," Remus told me, glowering with hatred. "Let's see him insult half-breeds while he's fighting with a werewolf!"
I put my hand on his arm to calm him down. "Easy," I told him. "Malfoy will get what's coming to him." I glared at Malfoy, who was now downing bottles of Butterbeer like they were going out of style. "Everyone does."
Gonna take a walk to the water before dark...Remus is being taken to the Shrieking Shack tonight and I want a bit of time with him before he's gone. Lily and I are planning on pulling an all-night study session tonight to better prepare for the theories of our magical exams. "Without theory, magic is nothing," as Dumbledore always says.
Magically yours,
Abby
May 18
Remus came back a few days ago, looking worse than ever. I can't help but feel sorry for him, although he insists I don't have to. "I'm fine," he protests when I ask him to go see Madam Pomfrey to help him clear up the cuts he receives. "I'm just tired, that's all." And I know this to be true, because he usually falls asleep in the common room for the first night or two back.
Dumbledore gave a speech as to why the Durmstrang people were here last week. Apparently Dumbledore is holding conferences with each Headmaster from the other two wizarding schools in Europe. Beaubaxton is next week and students are accompanying their Headmaster as well. Apparently all these students are interested in visiting Hogwarts, seeing as Dumbledore is one of the greatest wizards that ever lived.
Dumbledore claims that he had "little to no success" with the Durmstrang crowd, but that Beaubaxton seems to be more promising. "You must remember," he warned us, "that Durmstrang believes in different values than Hogwarts. That, they believe, gives them more power over the rest of us. However, Beaubaxton is as equally powerful in their own strengths and we can only hope that they will assist us in our fight."
"Right," James said. "Durmstrang has 'different values' than us; what's that? Kill anyone who gets in your way?"
Sirius snickered. "Pretty much," he said, glancing up the Great Hall at Dumbledore. "I would assume so, anyway."
Once again, Peter remained silent through the whole conversation. I've noticed that the five of us could carry on a complete conversation, almost forgetting that little Peter is sitting beside us. I don't know what's up with him, but Lily's trying to hook him up with Sally Dobson, another seventh-year who is just as short and as squat as Peter. That should be an interesting match, seeing as Sally has even less to say than Peter nowadays.
I'm starting to feel as though we're all in some big joke here.
Jokingly (but not funnily) yours,
Abby
May 23
Ho hum. The days get weirder as they get longer. More time for insanity. And trust me, there's a lot of that going around right now. James and Sirius returned from a night of 'pubbing' as they call it and James actually proposed marriage to Lily last night. At first I thought she was going to slap him, but instead she stood up and told him softly, "Just go to bed, James."
"But Lily...baby," he protested, but Lily held a hand up and pushed him towards the staircase. "I wanna get married!" were his last slurred words of the evening. When he and Sirius had successfully made it up the staircase, Lily sat down with her head in her hands and it looked as though she was going to cry.
"Lily?" Remus' voice was soft and kind. "You okay?"
She grinned at him through the threatening tears. "Fine," she answered. "I just didn't think my first marriage proposal would be persuaded by alcohol."
Remus laughed and threw an arm around her shoulders. "You've been studying too much," he advised her. "You need to sleep."
"I need to pass my exams!" she argued, reaching for her book again. Fighting against her, Remus wrestled the book away from her. She glared at him, but a small smile played her lips. "I need to study," she told him quietly.
"I know," he replied just as softly, "but tomorrow's another day. You need to sleep now."
Lily closed her eyes in defeat and rose from the couch. "Fine," she said sulkily. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." She went up the staircase, leaving her books on the table, which Remus packed up for her. Turning to me, he smiled.
"I hope she can sleep," he said, sitting down on the couch opposite where Lily sat and threw an arm around my own shoulders. He turned my face toward him and looked deep into my eyes. "Are you going to be able to sleep?"
I shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?" I replied blankly. "Whether I fail my NEWTs or not, I'm pretty okay with that."
He laughed softly. "Well, I'm just making sure," he said, examining my hands. "Because I could help you sleep, if you wanted."
Oh boy.
My first thought was that I should stand up and run. I thought my instincts would demand that. Instead, I reached forth and brought his lips to mine softly, without pressure. The kiss lasted for several minutes and when we broke apart, Remus' eyes were still closed.
"I'm going up to bed," I said, standing up and leaning over so that my face was still level with his. "But I'll be dreaming of graduation." I guess my eyes let on something because he smiled gently at me and kissed my lips once more.
"Me too," he said. I turned and left him sitting on the couch, but my mind was reeling and didn't stop until early in the morning when sleep finally found me. I guess I know in my heart that I'm ready to move on with our relationship and whatever happens after that will happen. I'm sure it will only be for the better.
Charmed,
Abby