Okay, I was just going to leave this as a single chapter story, but I was inspired to write a little more. This will probably end up being several chapters long. It kind of depends on how my muse is feeling. Also, please try and ignore any crazy spelling errors, my spell check is on the fritz.
Also, thanks for the reviews. Some responses:
Brody: Thanks, I really relate to this Seth too. I feel like once you go beneath the surface of the character, you can get right to the angsty goodness that I'm sure is there in Seth.
priya: It takes place early early first season. After Ryan moves in with him, but before he becomes even remotely close to being friends with Summer or Luke. I think I put that in the author's notes in the first chapter, but sorry if I didn't make that clear. Also, in my own mind I thought that Seth probably tried to make friends in Newport at first, was rejected for being different, and resigned himself to being a loner. Personally, I thought Marissa said quite a few things that were off in that episode. Anyway, I will cover that in this chapter.
Disclaimers: Still don't own a darned thing!
This chapter takes place the morning after that fateful dinner. Also, it's fairly short.
Chapter 2
I shuffle into the kitchen, my heart pounding in my chest. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, trying to figure out how I was going to face everyone after the whole ordeal at dinner and all. Shit, why did I have to open my big mouth? I guess the big clincher will be how everyone else acts around me. Would they want to talk about it? Would they want to ignore it? Would they want to go outside and do a ceremonial rain dance with their underwear on their head? I snicker at the mental picture, and relax a little. Humor is truly what gets me through these days.
As it turns out, Ryan is the only one in the kitchen, so at the moment I'm safe. He's hunched over a bowl of Capn' Crunch, with the newspaper spread out in front of him. He's dressed in his usual boring jeans and black t-shirt combination, with that weird leather wrist band. I have to admit that I'm not totally used to having another person in the house, though I really do like having him around. It's just weird sometimes, like when Ryan drank my last Capri Sun Big Pouch. That's never happened to me before, and I was quite distraught when I discovered the empty pouch in the garbage. I've learned to write my name on all food products that I'm too selfish to share.
Ryan looks up at me, an unreadable expression on his face. He does his greeting, some weird nod and grunt combo, probably a sign of respect in Chino or something.
I grab a bowl, spoon, and a nearly empty box of Coco Puffs- the cereal of the gods- and plop down in a seat across from him.
"Got the Arts and Leisure section?" I ask, pouring some milk onto my cereal and digging in.
Ryan hands it to me wordlessly, and I began scanning the movie times. I bit my lip. A new alien movie came out last week and I hadn't gotten around to seeing it. Well, today was as good a day as any. Maybe I'd convince Ryan to go with me. Or maybe I'd just go solo, eat a huge tub of popcorn and lose myself in all the bloody gore of "Alien Death Fighter II."
I glance up and catch Ryan giving me a hard look. I wrinkle my forehead and frown.
"What's up?" I ask, feeling a little edgy. Honestly, his silence can be kind of creepy at times.
"Nothing," Ryan replies softly, shaking his head and looking down at his cereal. He looks up again, this time to find me giving him my Evil Death Stare. "What?" he asks, feigning innocence.
"Don't 'what' me Chino," I say, and he grins. It bugs the crap out of him when anybody else calls him Chino, but he doesn't seem to mind it when I do. Which is kind of infuriating at the moment, because I'm trying to provoke him.
"It's just..." Ryan trails off, then drops his spoon into his bowl. "What was that last night?" He pauses, looking apologetic. "I mean, it wasn't just about...."
"About me being an accident and possibly conceived in the back of a postal truck?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.
Ryan grimaces, and I can tell I've made him squeamish. Ha! Take that, Chino!
"Yeah...I guess," Ryan says in a raspy, strained voice. He probably doesn't like thinking about my parents doing it. I used to be that way too, but they're always kind of discreetly talking about it, so I gradually grew immune to their admittedly gross innuendos.
I shrug, wondering what I can trust him with. He's my best friend, my only friend, so maybe I could open up to him a little more than I could to my father. But, would he really understand? I mean, he knows the basic gist of how Newport royalty are, but he doesn't know the delicate intricacies of their snobbery. The little things that it takes people awhile to discover. Like how their lives revolve on getting fall-down drunk and pretending like their lives are as shiny and happy as they like to tell people, and if you don't take part in getting wasted, you're pretty much an outcast. And other little tidbits that cannot be even explained in words, but are all vital steps in the shunning of Seth Cohen and Seth Cohen related accessories.
"I guess it's other stuff," I finally say, scratching the back of my neck. "The life of a rejected loser is not as glamorous as it may appear at first glance. Being an outcast is a tiring game." I cringe. Did I sound pathetic or what? Need to do damage control while Ryan's still processing this information. "You know, just being a stupid teenager. Moping, angry at the world stuff." I shake my head, trying to make it seem like nothing. "No big deal."
Ryan looks thoughtful as he picks up his spoon and resumes chowing down.
"I wouldn't think you'd mind being an outcast." He pauses. "I mean, I thought you saw how everyone here was an asshole and just decided you were better off on your own. That's pretty much how Marissa put it."
I snort. Wow, for some tough as nails car thief, he could be pretty naive. Or just thought way too much with his dick. I mean, Marissa's a great-looking girl, but she's not exactly up there on the brains scale. I mean, as much as I enjoy being psychoanalyzed by the frequently wasted, formely bulimic, beauty queen, I think I have a better grasp on exactly what went down in the beginning of my Newport life. After all, it was her boyfriend who first beat the crap out of me.
"Please. I'm not that saintly." I sigh. "Look, I tried to fit in, nobody would let me, so I started spending all my time playing Mario Kart with my dad." I swallow. This is the most open I've ever been with anyone, and I pray that he could understand what I'm trying to say. "If they'd let me I would've been just as big of an asshole."
"I doubt that," Ryan says, clearing his throat and standing up.
I scowl and scarf down a huge spoonful of Coco Puffs. I kind of wonder if he's right. Would I have figured out the truth and just retreated into my room, leaving the jerks behind me? I honestly don't know if I would have been strong enough, and I don't want to think about it anymore. I'd rather just be able to blame all my neurosis on Luke and his band of merry men.
"Morning, boys."
I instantly straighten up as my father enters, hurrying around the kitchen, grabbing all that he needs for a balanced breakfast. He's in his usual suit and tie, but he looks more haggard than usual, and I think his left eyebrow is a little askew. I wonder if he lost sleep too. After all, it's not every day that he sees me crying like a little girl. I close my eyes, trying to forget about last night. Best to move on.
"Morning, Mr. Cohen," Ryan greets him.
For once Dad doesn't try and tell him to call him Sandy. I don't bother with a greeting. I'm not sure I could get the words out even if I wanted. My heart is pounding even worse than before. How do you act around somebody after having a complete emotional meltdown in front of their very eyes? I stare intently at my cereal, marveling at the beauty that is brown milk.
"So what are you boys up to today?" Dad asks, moving around the table to sit beside me. As he passes me, his hand reaches out and squeezes my shoulder gently. I don't move.
I look up at Ryan, who sees my discomfort and looks for a good answer. He notices the movies listings, and decideds, I guess, to redeem himself in my eyes.
"Uh, we might..go to a movie or something," he says slowly, trying to look casual.
Dad nods, chewing on a bagel. He swallows, then nudges me a little. "Hey, that new Alien Death Warrior movie came out, didn't it?"
I nod slowly. I know he was just trying to get me to speak by messing up the movie title. And I know I should say something, but my mouth seems to be glued shut. Shit. I never thought talking could be so hard, but I just can't seem to open my mouth. I'm so stupid.
"So...uh...you going to work today?" Ryan asks.
I smile into my bowl. He was trying to help me out by making moronic conversation. Now I know what I was missing before I had a best friend. I make a mental note to let him read my next "Legion" as soon as I get it, and maybe not bitch him out the next time he gets a tiny water stain on the cover.
"Yeah. Yep." Dad nods. "I've got a new case today."
"Ah." Ryan nods.
"It's a lot of work, but I love it."
Ryan keeps nodding like a loser, and I grin just a little bit. Clearly he hasn't been trained in making small talk. Next thing you know he'll be commenting on the weather.
"So...looks like it's going to be a sunny day," Ryan says, and I have to suppress a laugh. Newport days are almost always sunny.
"Yep. I'll probably go surfing later." Dad pauses. "I slept in a bit, so I couldn't go this morning."
Mom slips into the kitchen, and I can see Ryan's look of utter relief. I accidentially let my eyes glance over at Dad, who's giving me a gentle smile. I give a tiny smile back, and avert my eyes from him. He sighs and stands up. This time, he squeezes my neck on his way past me.
"Morning, honey," he greets my mother, and they kiss briefly.
I look up at Ryan and mouth a 'Thanks.' He just does his Chino nod, and I give him a little half-smile. He grins back, and waggles his eyebrows. I snicker. Ryan's not half as badass as people think.
"So, what do you boys have planned today?" Mom asks, glancing at me quickly before turning her eyes toward the coffee cup Dad hands her. I have to wonder how much Dad told her.
"Movie," Ryan answers, in his usual I'm-going-to-use-as-few-syllables-as-possible way.
Mom nods, her eyes scanning the room for anything else that could possibly start a safe conversation. She smiles cheerfully, inspired.
"Looks like it'll be a nice day," she says, smiling cheerfully.
I munch my cereal silently, wondering how long this would go on for.
"Been over that," Dad replies, equally cheerful.
"Oh." Mom frowns, disappointed.
"Hey, Seth. Um, I still have that comic book you've been on my back about me returning. Wanna go get it?" Ryan asks, saving my life.
I nod, and we both stand. Ryan leans over to grab my cereal bowl, obviously trying to help me stay as far away from my parents as possible, at least until I figure this stuff out. I thought I could handle it today, but clearly I was very, very, wrong.
"Don't worry about that Ryan," Mom says. "I'll get that."
Ryan looks at her and just blinks, clearly not used to someone offering to make his life easier. He replaces the bowls on the table, looking violated. He smiles at Mom though, appreciating her offer as foreign as it was to him.
"Thanks," he says softly, and Mom smiles warmly at him.
I practically sprint out the door toward the pool house, Ryan following behind me, having aided me in my quest for emotional avoidance.
Clearly having a best friend has it's benefits.
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Please review, and I will continue soon. Thanks for reading.
Also, thanks for the reviews. Some responses:
Brody: Thanks, I really relate to this Seth too. I feel like once you go beneath the surface of the character, you can get right to the angsty goodness that I'm sure is there in Seth.
priya: It takes place early early first season. After Ryan moves in with him, but before he becomes even remotely close to being friends with Summer or Luke. I think I put that in the author's notes in the first chapter, but sorry if I didn't make that clear. Also, in my own mind I thought that Seth probably tried to make friends in Newport at first, was rejected for being different, and resigned himself to being a loner. Personally, I thought Marissa said quite a few things that were off in that episode. Anyway, I will cover that in this chapter.
Disclaimers: Still don't own a darned thing!
This chapter takes place the morning after that fateful dinner. Also, it's fairly short.
Chapter 2
I shuffle into the kitchen, my heart pounding in my chest. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, trying to figure out how I was going to face everyone after the whole ordeal at dinner and all. Shit, why did I have to open my big mouth? I guess the big clincher will be how everyone else acts around me. Would they want to talk about it? Would they want to ignore it? Would they want to go outside and do a ceremonial rain dance with their underwear on their head? I snicker at the mental picture, and relax a little. Humor is truly what gets me through these days.
As it turns out, Ryan is the only one in the kitchen, so at the moment I'm safe. He's hunched over a bowl of Capn' Crunch, with the newspaper spread out in front of him. He's dressed in his usual boring jeans and black t-shirt combination, with that weird leather wrist band. I have to admit that I'm not totally used to having another person in the house, though I really do like having him around. It's just weird sometimes, like when Ryan drank my last Capri Sun Big Pouch. That's never happened to me before, and I was quite distraught when I discovered the empty pouch in the garbage. I've learned to write my name on all food products that I'm too selfish to share.
Ryan looks up at me, an unreadable expression on his face. He does his greeting, some weird nod and grunt combo, probably a sign of respect in Chino or something.
I grab a bowl, spoon, and a nearly empty box of Coco Puffs- the cereal of the gods- and plop down in a seat across from him.
"Got the Arts and Leisure section?" I ask, pouring some milk onto my cereal and digging in.
Ryan hands it to me wordlessly, and I began scanning the movie times. I bit my lip. A new alien movie came out last week and I hadn't gotten around to seeing it. Well, today was as good a day as any. Maybe I'd convince Ryan to go with me. Or maybe I'd just go solo, eat a huge tub of popcorn and lose myself in all the bloody gore of "Alien Death Fighter II."
I glance up and catch Ryan giving me a hard look. I wrinkle my forehead and frown.
"What's up?" I ask, feeling a little edgy. Honestly, his silence can be kind of creepy at times.
"Nothing," Ryan replies softly, shaking his head and looking down at his cereal. He looks up again, this time to find me giving him my Evil Death Stare. "What?" he asks, feigning innocence.
"Don't 'what' me Chino," I say, and he grins. It bugs the crap out of him when anybody else calls him Chino, but he doesn't seem to mind it when I do. Which is kind of infuriating at the moment, because I'm trying to provoke him.
"It's just..." Ryan trails off, then drops his spoon into his bowl. "What was that last night?" He pauses, looking apologetic. "I mean, it wasn't just about...."
"About me being an accident and possibly conceived in the back of a postal truck?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.
Ryan grimaces, and I can tell I've made him squeamish. Ha! Take that, Chino!
"Yeah...I guess," Ryan says in a raspy, strained voice. He probably doesn't like thinking about my parents doing it. I used to be that way too, but they're always kind of discreetly talking about it, so I gradually grew immune to their admittedly gross innuendos.
I shrug, wondering what I can trust him with. He's my best friend, my only friend, so maybe I could open up to him a little more than I could to my father. But, would he really understand? I mean, he knows the basic gist of how Newport royalty are, but he doesn't know the delicate intricacies of their snobbery. The little things that it takes people awhile to discover. Like how their lives revolve on getting fall-down drunk and pretending like their lives are as shiny and happy as they like to tell people, and if you don't take part in getting wasted, you're pretty much an outcast. And other little tidbits that cannot be even explained in words, but are all vital steps in the shunning of Seth Cohen and Seth Cohen related accessories.
"I guess it's other stuff," I finally say, scratching the back of my neck. "The life of a rejected loser is not as glamorous as it may appear at first glance. Being an outcast is a tiring game." I cringe. Did I sound pathetic or what? Need to do damage control while Ryan's still processing this information. "You know, just being a stupid teenager. Moping, angry at the world stuff." I shake my head, trying to make it seem like nothing. "No big deal."
Ryan looks thoughtful as he picks up his spoon and resumes chowing down.
"I wouldn't think you'd mind being an outcast." He pauses. "I mean, I thought you saw how everyone here was an asshole and just decided you were better off on your own. That's pretty much how Marissa put it."
I snort. Wow, for some tough as nails car thief, he could be pretty naive. Or just thought way too much with his dick. I mean, Marissa's a great-looking girl, but she's not exactly up there on the brains scale. I mean, as much as I enjoy being psychoanalyzed by the frequently wasted, formely bulimic, beauty queen, I think I have a better grasp on exactly what went down in the beginning of my Newport life. After all, it was her boyfriend who first beat the crap out of me.
"Please. I'm not that saintly." I sigh. "Look, I tried to fit in, nobody would let me, so I started spending all my time playing Mario Kart with my dad." I swallow. This is the most open I've ever been with anyone, and I pray that he could understand what I'm trying to say. "If they'd let me I would've been just as big of an asshole."
"I doubt that," Ryan says, clearing his throat and standing up.
I scowl and scarf down a huge spoonful of Coco Puffs. I kind of wonder if he's right. Would I have figured out the truth and just retreated into my room, leaving the jerks behind me? I honestly don't know if I would have been strong enough, and I don't want to think about it anymore. I'd rather just be able to blame all my neurosis on Luke and his band of merry men.
"Morning, boys."
I instantly straighten up as my father enters, hurrying around the kitchen, grabbing all that he needs for a balanced breakfast. He's in his usual suit and tie, but he looks more haggard than usual, and I think his left eyebrow is a little askew. I wonder if he lost sleep too. After all, it's not every day that he sees me crying like a little girl. I close my eyes, trying to forget about last night. Best to move on.
"Morning, Mr. Cohen," Ryan greets him.
For once Dad doesn't try and tell him to call him Sandy. I don't bother with a greeting. I'm not sure I could get the words out even if I wanted. My heart is pounding even worse than before. How do you act around somebody after having a complete emotional meltdown in front of their very eyes? I stare intently at my cereal, marveling at the beauty that is brown milk.
"So what are you boys up to today?" Dad asks, moving around the table to sit beside me. As he passes me, his hand reaches out and squeezes my shoulder gently. I don't move.
I look up at Ryan, who sees my discomfort and looks for a good answer. He notices the movies listings, and decideds, I guess, to redeem himself in my eyes.
"Uh, we might..go to a movie or something," he says slowly, trying to look casual.
Dad nods, chewing on a bagel. He swallows, then nudges me a little. "Hey, that new Alien Death Warrior movie came out, didn't it?"
I nod slowly. I know he was just trying to get me to speak by messing up the movie title. And I know I should say something, but my mouth seems to be glued shut. Shit. I never thought talking could be so hard, but I just can't seem to open my mouth. I'm so stupid.
"So...uh...you going to work today?" Ryan asks.
I smile into my bowl. He was trying to help me out by making moronic conversation. Now I know what I was missing before I had a best friend. I make a mental note to let him read my next "Legion" as soon as I get it, and maybe not bitch him out the next time he gets a tiny water stain on the cover.
"Yeah. Yep." Dad nods. "I've got a new case today."
"Ah." Ryan nods.
"It's a lot of work, but I love it."
Ryan keeps nodding like a loser, and I grin just a little bit. Clearly he hasn't been trained in making small talk. Next thing you know he'll be commenting on the weather.
"So...looks like it's going to be a sunny day," Ryan says, and I have to suppress a laugh. Newport days are almost always sunny.
"Yep. I'll probably go surfing later." Dad pauses. "I slept in a bit, so I couldn't go this morning."
Mom slips into the kitchen, and I can see Ryan's look of utter relief. I accidentially let my eyes glance over at Dad, who's giving me a gentle smile. I give a tiny smile back, and avert my eyes from him. He sighs and stands up. This time, he squeezes my neck on his way past me.
"Morning, honey," he greets my mother, and they kiss briefly.
I look up at Ryan and mouth a 'Thanks.' He just does his Chino nod, and I give him a little half-smile. He grins back, and waggles his eyebrows. I snicker. Ryan's not half as badass as people think.
"So, what do you boys have planned today?" Mom asks, glancing at me quickly before turning her eyes toward the coffee cup Dad hands her. I have to wonder how much Dad told her.
"Movie," Ryan answers, in his usual I'm-going-to-use-as-few-syllables-as-possible way.
Mom nods, her eyes scanning the room for anything else that could possibly start a safe conversation. She smiles cheerfully, inspired.
"Looks like it'll be a nice day," she says, smiling cheerfully.
I munch my cereal silently, wondering how long this would go on for.
"Been over that," Dad replies, equally cheerful.
"Oh." Mom frowns, disappointed.
"Hey, Seth. Um, I still have that comic book you've been on my back about me returning. Wanna go get it?" Ryan asks, saving my life.
I nod, and we both stand. Ryan leans over to grab my cereal bowl, obviously trying to help me stay as far away from my parents as possible, at least until I figure this stuff out. I thought I could handle it today, but clearly I was very, very, wrong.
"Don't worry about that Ryan," Mom says. "I'll get that."
Ryan looks at her and just blinks, clearly not used to someone offering to make his life easier. He replaces the bowls on the table, looking violated. He smiles at Mom though, appreciating her offer as foreign as it was to him.
"Thanks," he says softly, and Mom smiles warmly at him.
I practically sprint out the door toward the pool house, Ryan following behind me, having aided me in my quest for emotional avoidance.
Clearly having a best friend has it's benefits.
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Please review, and I will continue soon. Thanks for reading.