A/N: Thanks for all your reviews! I love you guys.
A note- I have absolutely no idea where this story is going. None. I know it will end with Jack going home, or thereabouts. Otherwise, I'm as surprised as you are with most of this stuff.
Abbie: No, no, NO! You're still thinking the wrong way about this. Rob is a great, wonderful guy. Jack is a drunken pirate. A sexy one, but still.
Platy: Just thought I'd tell you now(cuz I don't know when the Tattoos will be updated), THANK YOU for putting it on your favs list!! Haven't seen Sandlot, maybe I'll rent it! I'm sorry I made you cough, I hope it was a good type of cough and that you're feeling better. GEORGE!! And remember- Jack isn't an alcoholic, he's a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
Pineapple1: Good question. No, this takes place AFTER their adventure. But Hollywood didn't make a movie of it, so Jennifer & co. didn't know about Jack.
And everyone else- THANK YOU!!!
****
David came home 15 minutes after Jennifer had stormed out of Jack's room. Jennifer had turned her CD player all the way up, which she only did when she was very very angry or very very depressed. Or both, which was a volatile combo.
"Uh oh." He climbed the stairs and opened the door to the guest room first. Jack was sitting on the bed with his hands over his ears.
"Will you tell that insane sister of yers to turn that crap down?" He called over the guitar solo. "I want teh talk teh her!" David nodded and made his way toward his sister's room. He pounded on the door and the music turned down. Not much, but a little.
"What?" Jennifer asked icily. David raised an eyebrow.
"Our houseguest wants to talk to you," he said. Her face was contorted into look of extreme disgust.
"Tell our houseguest he can go screw himself," she replied, then slammed the door. The music was soon after cranked all the way up again. David sighed and walked back to Sparrow's room.
"What the hell did you do?" He yelled over the music. Sparrow pulled an innocent face, but when it didn't seem to fool David, he shrugged.
"It was just a little kiss."
David's eyes grew wide and he stormed over to Sparrow, grabbing him by the collar. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" He roared. Sparrow scowled and shoved against him.
Just then, the music was turned down and Jennifer's voice could be heard. "He practically stuck his tongue down my throat!" She yelled, before cranking it back up again.
David let go, but continued to glare. "Downstairs. Now." He turned around quickly and marched out of the room. Sparrow followed, holding his ears when they passed Jennifer's room. It was still thumping.
David sat down at the kitchen table and pointed to the chair across from him. Sparrow to the seat and put his feet up on the table. At David's glare, however, they nearly flew back to the ground.
"Don't you ever touch my sister again. Ever. Or you will regret it." Sparrow gulped. He normally wouldn't have been scared by a threat. But, seeing as there was still an angry glint in David's eyes and that the 20 year old was 8 inches taller than Sparrow, putting him at a full 6 feet 6 inches, Sparrow was fairly sure it was more of a promise.
"Right. Never again," Sparrow nodded. David glared for a minute more, then stood up. Sparrow cringed for a moment, fearing the wrath of the older brother. Then he realized that David was moving to the refrigerator. David pulled out two Miller Genuine Drafts and tossed one to Sparrow.
The pirate was confused for a minute on how in god's name he was supposed to open it without a bottle opener. Then he saw David twist the top open and did the same. The taste was fairly different from what he was used to, but it was booze all the same. His sweet, sweet booze. He had downed half the bottle in a matter of seconds.
20 minutes and two longnecks later David heard Jennifer's Cd start up at the first song again. Whenever she shut herself up in her room like that, she would change the CDs when one was over, unless she had fallen asleep. He put the Miller down and climbed the stairs.
Timidly he opened the door and peaked inside. There she was, laying sprawled on her bed fast asleep. David crossed the room on tippy-toes (or as tippy-toed as you could be after having 2 beers) and turned off the music. She stirred on the bed but didn't wake up.
He exited the room and walked down the stairs. Sparrow had gotten up and was looking around the house. He had made it to the DVD collection before David got there.
"Wanna watch a movie, Jack?" the 20-year old asked. Sparrow shrugged, then nodded. He fell onto the couch while David walked over to the large array of movies. He scanned the rack for a minute before taking out a thick box set.
"Wha's that one?" Sparrow asked. David took out the disc and threw it to Sparrow, who missed the catch due to his drunkenness. Instead it hit him in the forehead.
"Ow," Sparrow said, rubbing his forehead. He picked up the box and looked at the title, brows furrowed. "Uh, mate? I can't read this." He decided to leave out the fact that he couldn't read anything. Pirating didn't require reading skills.
"It's the Lord of the Rings. Want another beer?" David replied, heading toward the kitchen. The disc had started up and was ready to play. Sparrow grinned and nodded. David returned a few minutes later holding a bag of buttery popcorn and two more longnecks. Sparrow sniffed at the popcorn before deciding it was good to eat and dug in. David started the movie and they sat, drinking and scarfing popcorn until the scene of Elrond's council.
Sparrow sat forward in his seat and stared hard at the screen. "Tha's 'o it is!" he exclaimed, causing David to jump in his seat.
"Who? Who who is?" the younger man replied, slurring a bit. Sparrow brought up his finger and pointed at a particularly handsome elf.
"Him! 'e looks jus' like Will!" He said. He started muttering to himself. "Dear Will, wonder what 'e's doin' righ' now, probably doin' naughty things with 'is bonny lass...."
"Who the hell is Will?" David asked, screwing his eyes up in a drunken manner.
"Will, my good man, is the son of my great friend, the dearly deceased William Turner, or Bootstrap Bill," he answered, putting a hand over his heart. David snorted.
"Bootstrap Bill?" he repeated, bursting with laughter. Sparrow glared.
"Yeh think that's funny, do yeh?" He said, raising his fists. David stopped laughing abruptly and pulled a very straight face.
"No, of course not," he replied. But shortly after his face cracked into a smile, and Sparrow's followed suit. Soon they were both rolling on the floor, clutching their stomachs and laughing their heads off.
****
When Jennifer woke up, she found her brother and Sparrow snoring loudly, sprawled about her favorite couch and floor, beer bottles strewn around. She snickered evilly and moved Sparrow's hand to a certain sensitive part on himself before running upstairs to get her camera. She snapped the picture and moved the pirate's hand back discreetly.
Deciding that taking an incriminating photo wasn't enough to get back at Sparrow for what he did, she pulled a large pan out from her cupboard, along with a huge metal ladle. Now, as I'm sure all of you know, metal on metal at 8 in the morning is not something you want to hear if you've been drinking all night. Jennifer was quite aware of this and started clanging the ladle and pan together, like a little child who just discovered that you could make sound that way.
"Rise and shine, assholes! Time to wake up!" She called, over and over and over again. David sat up almost immediately, shaken and looking to kill. Jennifer just grinned at him and moved over to Sparrow, who was balanced half-hazardly over the edge of the couch. She got very close before yelling in his ear to wake up, while banging the pan on the other side.
He shot straight up, before tumbling over the edge. "Bloody 'ell, yeh madwoman! What do yeh think yer doin'?!?!" He yelled, picking himself off the ground. She laughed and held up her 'instruments'.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm waking you up."
Sparrow glared and yawned in response. David was sitting on the couch and rubbing his temples in slow circles when he said, "Dammit, now I'm hungry. Make me some food, Jen."
His sister burst out laughing and continued to laugh as she walked up the stairs back to her room. David sighed, then got up to make breakfast.
"So Jack, what were you doing before you got here?" He asked as he pulled the eggs from the fridge. Sparrow's face turned thoughtful for a moment before he answered.
"I was about teh spend some quality time with a beautiful Tortuga lady."
David raised an eyebrow but shrugged it off. "What do ya say, Jack, to bacon and eggs?" he asked, holding out a blue plate with the foodstuffs on it.
Sparrow smiled and grabbed the plate.
****
Upstairs, Jennifer was on the phone with her favorite aunt, Cathy. She was only 5 years older than Jennifer(due to some strange family happenings, which we won't discuss), and had always been a big part of her life.
Cathy lived only 20 minutes away, and Jennifer was hitting herself for not thinking of this before.
"I'm serious, Cathy. You have to come here, now."
Cathy sighed over the phone. "Ok, let me get this straight. You are saying that a pirate who looks just like Johnny Depp his sitting in your living room right now."
"Actually, I think he's in the kitchen," Jennifer replied.
"Jen, you have completely lost it. I told you not to get obsessed about Depp, but did you listen? Nooo...."
Jennifer sighed. "Look, just come over, will you? Pleeeeeeeease? For me?"
"Fine. I'll be over in 45 minutes," Cathy conceded.
Jennifer smiled. "See you then."
****
Ooooo....what hi-jinxes are coming now?
I've just been hit with inspiration! But I can't tell you what it was....that would ruin the surprise....damn. Well, you'll just have to keep reading to find out! R&R!!
A note- I have absolutely no idea where this story is going. None. I know it will end with Jack going home, or thereabouts. Otherwise, I'm as surprised as you are with most of this stuff.
Abbie: No, no, NO! You're still thinking the wrong way about this. Rob is a great, wonderful guy. Jack is a drunken pirate. A sexy one, but still.
Platy: Just thought I'd tell you now(cuz I don't know when the Tattoos will be updated), THANK YOU for putting it on your favs list!! Haven't seen Sandlot, maybe I'll rent it! I'm sorry I made you cough, I hope it was a good type of cough and that you're feeling better. GEORGE!! And remember- Jack isn't an alcoholic, he's a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
Pineapple1: Good question. No, this takes place AFTER their adventure. But Hollywood didn't make a movie of it, so Jennifer & co. didn't know about Jack.
And everyone else- THANK YOU!!!
****
David came home 15 minutes after Jennifer had stormed out of Jack's room. Jennifer had turned her CD player all the way up, which she only did when she was very very angry or very very depressed. Or both, which was a volatile combo.
"Uh oh." He climbed the stairs and opened the door to the guest room first. Jack was sitting on the bed with his hands over his ears.
"Will you tell that insane sister of yers to turn that crap down?" He called over the guitar solo. "I want teh talk teh her!" David nodded and made his way toward his sister's room. He pounded on the door and the music turned down. Not much, but a little.
"What?" Jennifer asked icily. David raised an eyebrow.
"Our houseguest wants to talk to you," he said. Her face was contorted into look of extreme disgust.
"Tell our houseguest he can go screw himself," she replied, then slammed the door. The music was soon after cranked all the way up again. David sighed and walked back to Sparrow's room.
"What the hell did you do?" He yelled over the music. Sparrow pulled an innocent face, but when it didn't seem to fool David, he shrugged.
"It was just a little kiss."
David's eyes grew wide and he stormed over to Sparrow, grabbing him by the collar. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" He roared. Sparrow scowled and shoved against him.
Just then, the music was turned down and Jennifer's voice could be heard. "He practically stuck his tongue down my throat!" She yelled, before cranking it back up again.
David let go, but continued to glare. "Downstairs. Now." He turned around quickly and marched out of the room. Sparrow followed, holding his ears when they passed Jennifer's room. It was still thumping.
David sat down at the kitchen table and pointed to the chair across from him. Sparrow to the seat and put his feet up on the table. At David's glare, however, they nearly flew back to the ground.
"Don't you ever touch my sister again. Ever. Or you will regret it." Sparrow gulped. He normally wouldn't have been scared by a threat. But, seeing as there was still an angry glint in David's eyes and that the 20 year old was 8 inches taller than Sparrow, putting him at a full 6 feet 6 inches, Sparrow was fairly sure it was more of a promise.
"Right. Never again," Sparrow nodded. David glared for a minute more, then stood up. Sparrow cringed for a moment, fearing the wrath of the older brother. Then he realized that David was moving to the refrigerator. David pulled out two Miller Genuine Drafts and tossed one to Sparrow.
The pirate was confused for a minute on how in god's name he was supposed to open it without a bottle opener. Then he saw David twist the top open and did the same. The taste was fairly different from what he was used to, but it was booze all the same. His sweet, sweet booze. He had downed half the bottle in a matter of seconds.
20 minutes and two longnecks later David heard Jennifer's Cd start up at the first song again. Whenever she shut herself up in her room like that, she would change the CDs when one was over, unless she had fallen asleep. He put the Miller down and climbed the stairs.
Timidly he opened the door and peaked inside. There she was, laying sprawled on her bed fast asleep. David crossed the room on tippy-toes (or as tippy-toed as you could be after having 2 beers) and turned off the music. She stirred on the bed but didn't wake up.
He exited the room and walked down the stairs. Sparrow had gotten up and was looking around the house. He had made it to the DVD collection before David got there.
"Wanna watch a movie, Jack?" the 20-year old asked. Sparrow shrugged, then nodded. He fell onto the couch while David walked over to the large array of movies. He scanned the rack for a minute before taking out a thick box set.
"Wha's that one?" Sparrow asked. David took out the disc and threw it to Sparrow, who missed the catch due to his drunkenness. Instead it hit him in the forehead.
"Ow," Sparrow said, rubbing his forehead. He picked up the box and looked at the title, brows furrowed. "Uh, mate? I can't read this." He decided to leave out the fact that he couldn't read anything. Pirating didn't require reading skills.
"It's the Lord of the Rings. Want another beer?" David replied, heading toward the kitchen. The disc had started up and was ready to play. Sparrow grinned and nodded. David returned a few minutes later holding a bag of buttery popcorn and two more longnecks. Sparrow sniffed at the popcorn before deciding it was good to eat and dug in. David started the movie and they sat, drinking and scarfing popcorn until the scene of Elrond's council.
Sparrow sat forward in his seat and stared hard at the screen. "Tha's 'o it is!" he exclaimed, causing David to jump in his seat.
"Who? Who who is?" the younger man replied, slurring a bit. Sparrow brought up his finger and pointed at a particularly handsome elf.
"Him! 'e looks jus' like Will!" He said. He started muttering to himself. "Dear Will, wonder what 'e's doin' righ' now, probably doin' naughty things with 'is bonny lass...."
"Who the hell is Will?" David asked, screwing his eyes up in a drunken manner.
"Will, my good man, is the son of my great friend, the dearly deceased William Turner, or Bootstrap Bill," he answered, putting a hand over his heart. David snorted.
"Bootstrap Bill?" he repeated, bursting with laughter. Sparrow glared.
"Yeh think that's funny, do yeh?" He said, raising his fists. David stopped laughing abruptly and pulled a very straight face.
"No, of course not," he replied. But shortly after his face cracked into a smile, and Sparrow's followed suit. Soon they were both rolling on the floor, clutching their stomachs and laughing their heads off.
****
When Jennifer woke up, she found her brother and Sparrow snoring loudly, sprawled about her favorite couch and floor, beer bottles strewn around. She snickered evilly and moved Sparrow's hand to a certain sensitive part on himself before running upstairs to get her camera. She snapped the picture and moved the pirate's hand back discreetly.
Deciding that taking an incriminating photo wasn't enough to get back at Sparrow for what he did, she pulled a large pan out from her cupboard, along with a huge metal ladle. Now, as I'm sure all of you know, metal on metal at 8 in the morning is not something you want to hear if you've been drinking all night. Jennifer was quite aware of this and started clanging the ladle and pan together, like a little child who just discovered that you could make sound that way.
"Rise and shine, assholes! Time to wake up!" She called, over and over and over again. David sat up almost immediately, shaken and looking to kill. Jennifer just grinned at him and moved over to Sparrow, who was balanced half-hazardly over the edge of the couch. She got very close before yelling in his ear to wake up, while banging the pan on the other side.
He shot straight up, before tumbling over the edge. "Bloody 'ell, yeh madwoman! What do yeh think yer doin'?!?!" He yelled, picking himself off the ground. She laughed and held up her 'instruments'.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm waking you up."
Sparrow glared and yawned in response. David was sitting on the couch and rubbing his temples in slow circles when he said, "Dammit, now I'm hungry. Make me some food, Jen."
His sister burst out laughing and continued to laugh as she walked up the stairs back to her room. David sighed, then got up to make breakfast.
"So Jack, what were you doing before you got here?" He asked as he pulled the eggs from the fridge. Sparrow's face turned thoughtful for a moment before he answered.
"I was about teh spend some quality time with a beautiful Tortuga lady."
David raised an eyebrow but shrugged it off. "What do ya say, Jack, to bacon and eggs?" he asked, holding out a blue plate with the foodstuffs on it.
Sparrow smiled and grabbed the plate.
****
Upstairs, Jennifer was on the phone with her favorite aunt, Cathy. She was only 5 years older than Jennifer(due to some strange family happenings, which we won't discuss), and had always been a big part of her life.
Cathy lived only 20 minutes away, and Jennifer was hitting herself for not thinking of this before.
"I'm serious, Cathy. You have to come here, now."
Cathy sighed over the phone. "Ok, let me get this straight. You are saying that a pirate who looks just like Johnny Depp his sitting in your living room right now."
"Actually, I think he's in the kitchen," Jennifer replied.
"Jen, you have completely lost it. I told you not to get obsessed about Depp, but did you listen? Nooo...."
Jennifer sighed. "Look, just come over, will you? Pleeeeeeeease? For me?"
"Fine. I'll be over in 45 minutes," Cathy conceded.
Jennifer smiled. "See you then."
****
Ooooo....what hi-jinxes are coming now?
I've just been hit with inspiration! But I can't tell you what it was....that would ruin the surprise....damn. Well, you'll just have to keep reading to find out! R&R!!