Ben twiddled his thumbs as he sat and waited in the hospital room. He checked his watch. 7:45:13 PM. A fat, frumpy nurse in a yellowing uniform slowly waddled over to the front desk clerk to submit some paperwork. It seemed to take her five minutes to cross the room.
Ruthie sat beside Ben, mindlessly thumbing through a way out-of-date nature magazine while also leisurely snapping on a piece of chewing gum.
Snap. Snap…SNAP!
Ben checked his watch again. 7:45:32 PM. "Oh man this is boring. When is Kevin gonna get here? And where in the world are Eric and Annie?"
"How long do we have to sit here?" Ruthie grumbled, obviously feeling the same boredom as Ben.
Ben sighed. "I don't know what else to do. Kevin told me to wait here and keep an eye on Lucy."
"OK. Why don't you keep doing that while I take a cab home to see if Mom and Dad are there?"
Ben frowned. "I don't like the idea of letting you go off by yourself."
"Hmm." Ruthie thought for a moment. "I know! I'll call Lou."
"Who's Lou?"
"Some guy my father works with. I think he's like his boss or something."
"I thought God was your father's boss."
Ruthie rolled her eyes. "You don't know anything about the way churches are run, do you?"
Ben shrugged. "No, I guess not. So, this guy is OK? You trust him and everything?"
Ruthie screwed up her face. "Not really. He's kind of a sneaky jerk. But I don't know who else would be willing to give me a car ride home."
"Man, I'm hungry. Those Oreos in that snack machine are looking pretty darn good right about now. Mmm, chocolatey outside. Creamy inside. Come to Daddy," Ben fantasized, losing the flow of his conversation with Ruthie in the process. After a moment, he realized Ruthie was expecting him to say something. "What was she talking about again? Getting a ride home from some guy? Yeah, that sounds right. Ah, what do I care?" "Sure. Go ahead and call him, I guess."
Ruthie smiled and dashed over to the pay phone, while the twins babbled incomprehensibly to each other behind the waiting room seats.
---------------
In a few moments, Lou showed up at the hospital with two guests in tow. "Ruthie, Ben, this is our new Associate Pastor, Chandler Hampton."
"Oh, we've met," Ruthie glowered. "He's the guy who's trying to steal my father's job."
"It's…not like that," Chandler growl-whispered.
"Whatever." Ruthie smiled and waved at Lou's other guest. "Hey, Peter."
"Hey, sweetie. Chandler was just giving me some special one-on-one training to be an altar boy when you called. Right, Chandler?" Peter winked as Chandler's face turned crimson.
Lou and Ben eyed the Associate Pastor suspiciously.
"It's…not like that," Chandler growl-whispered.
Lou cleared his throat and drawled, "Aaanyway, Chandler and Peter volunteered to help us find your parents, Ruthie. Let's go!"
The four of them left the waiting room and headed for the parking lot, where they climbed into Lou's black Lexus and drove off toward the Camden homestead.
"Thank God. I thought they'd never leave. Oreos, you are all mine and I ain't sharing!" Ben announced to no one as he walked across the waiting room to the snack machine.
"Mmm, cookies!" David said to Sam as the two of them watched Ben tear into the package from behind the waiting room chairs.
"Hungry!" Sam agreed.
Ben dumped all the cookies into his mouth at the same time and ate them in one giant gulp, not at all noticing the twins as they stared hungrily at him.
---------------
"Hey, I can see you two in the rearview mirror. Break it up back there," Lou admonished Peter and Ruthie for closed-mouth kissing in the backseat.
"Yeah. Don't you two…barely know each other?" Chandler asked huskily.
"You obviously don't know how Camden relationships work," Ruthie explained impatiently. "First, we make out in plain view of authority figures. Then we get married so that we can have adult relations. And then we get to know the person we married and find out that we don't really like that person at all."
"It's true," Lou nodded.
Chandler shook his head in amazement. "You people are…weird."
As he pulled into the Camden driveway, Lou chirped, "OK, we're here. Let's go see if your parents are inside."
"Fine, but I still think that if they were actually home, they would have answered the phone when Ruthie called," Peter interjected pointlessly.
"Not necessarily," Ruthie countered. "When we left the house earlier today, they were having adult relations in their room. Sometimes that can turn into an all-day, phone-off-the-hook event for those two old freaks."
"Ew!" Chandler rasped.
The four of them entered the house and searched the first floor, but all they found was Happy whining next to her empty food dish. "I bet they're in their bedroom upstairs," Ruthie sing-songed in an I-told-you-so tone.
"Ew!" Chandler rasped.
Slowly, dreading the sight that awaited them, the four climbed the stairs. As they reached the top and looked down the hallway, they saw that the Camden parents' bedroom door was closed.
Lou took a deep breath and said, "I'll go knock."
After Lou rapped twice, a rustling sound could be heard from inside the room. Presently the door opened to reveal Eric Camden, wrapped in a sheet and looking very exhausted and sleepy. "Lou. What are you doing here?"
"Eric, I've got some bad news. Simon and Lucy have both had accidents. They're in the hospital."
Eric looked bewildered. "The hospital? But how?"
"Why don't you and Annie get some clothes on and come with me," Lou said. "I'll explain on the way."
"But…we can't all fit in the car," Chandler noted.
"That's OK, Chandler," Peter smiled. "I live just a few houses down the block. Why don't you walk me home? You can pick up where you left off with that special one-on-one altar boy training."
Eric eyed his Associate Pastor suspiciously as the man's face turned bright red.
"It's…not like that," Chandler growl-whispered.
---------------
In front of the Promenade movie theater, dressed in her most revealing red number, Roxanne Richardson checked her watch for the fifteenth time. "Twenty minutes late. That's not like Kevin. That little trollop of his must be purposely holding him up."
A muscular, handsome young gentleman wearing tight blue jeans and a white t-shirt walked by and gave her what was surely intended to be a deep, meaningful look.
"Oh well. Can't let this dress go to waste. Those two are on their own," Roxanne smirked as she followed her prey into Pete's Pizza.
---------------
Lucy Camden awoke to see her brother Simon sitting in a chair next to her bed. His arm was in a sling, and he looked as though he felt rather ill. "Simon, what happened to your arm? And what are you doing here? And come to think of it, where is here? And ow, why does my head hurt so bad?"
"Shh, calm down, Luce," Simon entreated her. "You've had an accident. You're in the hospital. Obviously I had one too." He pointed to his arm-sling.
"An accident? But I don't remember anything."
"That's OK, neither do I."
"Really? That's weird."
"Yeah, tell me about it. Although I do seem to remember having this really weird dream."
"Me too!"
"Oh yeah? What happened in yours?"
"I…can't exactly remember. All I remember is that I really wanted to start doing stuff like Habitat for Humanity again. You know, do some charity work. Use my hands again."
"Wow. That sounds great."
"Yeah, it kinda does, doesn't it? What about your dream?"
"I don't remember mine that well either. Except I really wanted to break up with Cecilia. And I decided I never want to join the military. And for some reason I think Morris and Robbie were there. Now I want to give Morris a call. You know, just to see how college is going for him and stuff."
"Well, you should do that."
"Yeah." Simon smiled at his sister. "Luce, I'm really glad you're going to be OK. The nurses said you'd taken a pretty nasty spill." Simon's smile faded into a frown. "They also told me…well, it's kind of hard to believe."
"What is it, Simon?"
Simon drew a deep breath and looked straight into Lucy's eyes. "They told me that you and I both had drugs in our bloodstreams."
"What?" Lucy gasped.
"Like I said, hard to believe. But it would explain this splitting headache I have right now, and why I can't remember how I got it. All I remember is eating brownies and then lying down for a nap."
"Well I don't even remember eating brownies, so you're one step ahead of me."
Suddenly Eric and Annie Camden rushed into the room.
"Oh, Simon, Lucy! I'm so glad you're OK!" Annie rushed over to kiss each of her children on the cheek.
Meanwhile Eric Camden rubbed his chin and stared at the floor, disbelievingly pondering the news the doctor had told him. Two separate accidents. Intoxicants in their bloodstreams. How could this have happened, especially on an afternoon when everything had seemed so beautiful?
"Hello, Dad," Lucy's quiet voice interrupted his troubled thoughts.
"Hello, dear," Eric replied just as quietly. "How's your head?"
"It really hurts. And I can't remember what happened."
Eric sighed. "Ruthie said you went to her ranch to ride horses. You took a bad fall off one of them and hit your head on a rock."
"Really? I don't remember that at all. I was telling Simon, all I remember is having this really weird dream."
Annie glanced at Eric, and Eric looked back at her. He sighed again. "You know, the doctor told us that traces of narcotics were found in your bloodstream. Those probably weren't dreams. More likely, they were hallucinations."
Lucy wanted to shake her head but it hurt too much to do so. "That's what Simon told me, but I just can't believe it. I mean, I've never touched drugs in my life."
"It was those brownies. I guarantee it," Annie hissed.
"Yeah, it had to be the brownies. Eating them is the last thing I remember," said Simon.
"Calm down, everyone," Eric said. "That hasn't been proven yet. Ben said Kevin's working on it."
"Who?" asked Lucy.
"Ben's brother, Kevin. Remember? Your boyfriend?"
Lucy stared blankly. "No. I have a boyfriend?"
Annie looked at Eric nervously. "Oh no! Eric, she's forgotten about Kevin. What are we going to do?"
Eric shrugged. "Roll with it?"
Annie put her hand on her hip. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, she probably has a bit of amnesia, and I've heard that it can be very traumatic to try to push an amnesiac back into a life they don't remember. Maybe we should just ask Kevin to lay low for a while. He could probably take a break and go back to Buffalo with Ben."
Annie strongly wanted to express her disapproval of Eric's idea, but the man had just finished making five straight hours of sweet love to her. She felt as if she owed him a debt of wifely submission. Plus she saw the sexy way her husband's lip was creased in the corner a bit, the way it always did when he got concerned. And after five headboard-banging hours of hot sweaty monkey intercourse, Annie could not let her handsome, manly husband be concerned. "OK, Eric. We'll explain the situation to Kevin when we see him, and politely ask him to let Lucy recover her memories before he comes back into her life."
Eric looked thoughtfully at his wounded daughter and son for a moment, and then looked back into his wife's eyes. "I hate that we have to do this. I hate that some woman who I thought was a savior ended up drugging our kids and completely changing their lives."
"Oh, Eric, it's not your fault. I'm the one who let her into the house. And besides, the Colonel was the one who sent her in the first place. If there's anyone you should be mad at, it's him."
A fire began to smolder behind Eric's eyes. "You know, I'm afraid you're right, Annie. It seems like I'm always getting mad at him and then forgiving him, but this time he has crossed a line. My kids have been seriously hurt due to his overbearing actions. As of this moment, I vow that neither he nor any of his henchmen or women or friends or wives or adopted sons will ever set foot in our house again. I'm through with him."
Annie smiled and kissed her husband on the lips rather passionately.
"Ew, get a room you two," Simon groaned. "And man, am I hungry. Could one of you please go get me some potato chips? And some pretzels? And maybe see if you can get me some of that cafeteria Jell-O…"
---------------
Two weeks later, the Glenoak Police Department's lab tests on the crumbs in the brownie pans were still inconclusive, and therefore no charges could be brought against Gabrielle LaBelle. Even had they been able to charge her, they would have had no luck whatsoever in finding her.
In addition, the GPD's search for missing officer Kevin Kinkirk was still in progress. However, his former girlfriend Lucy Camden still did not remember him, and so the Camden family decided it would be better if he were never found. Detective Michaels graciously accommodated their wishes by calling off the search and closing the case. However, Roxanne Richardson, Kevin's former partner, was still rather bothered by the disappearance. She was absolutely certain it had something to do with that strange, unexplained explosion in that little house near the town center, but there was simply no evidence to corroborate her suspicion.
Across the country in Buffalo, New York, Ben Kinkirk moved back in with his mother. She wasn't taking the news that Kevin had disappeared very well, and he figured he should be there for her even though he really didn't know what the hell to do to help.
On the other side of town from Ben, in a secret basement laboratory, the Colonel opened a large package sent to him by one of his old CIA buddies. Inside, he found the charred mass of human flesh and metal that had once been his most proud creation. "I knew you would come back to me, Private T-1000. Thanks to the spycam in your eye and the microphone in your ear, I saw and heard what that awful woman Gabrielle, whom I used to love and trust so dearly, did to you. Don't worry. I'll build you back up, better and stronger than ever before. Lucy Camden will be yours, and full access to the Camdens' doings will be mine via your spying and signal transmission capabilities. I'll rename you the Stalkerbot-3000. Together, we'll gain complete control over the family! How does that sound?"
As the Colonel fiddled with some wires, hoping to bring his prized creation back to life, a spark somewhere within the cyborg lit. Unfortunately, he was still stuck in the same circular logic loop that Gabrielle had lured him into before she destroyed him. "But I'm programmed to kill you," he said, pulling his partially molten gun from his holster and pointing it at the Colonel. Somehow, it still worked, and he blasted the Colonel straight through the heart, killing him instantly.
"Oh no!" the cyborg shouted, finally snapping out of the circular loop. "What have I done to my creator?" The charred half-machine dropped his pistol and knelt over the Colonel's lifeless body. "Gabrielle LaBelle, you will pay for this. If it is the last thing my programming ever dictates that I do, I will make sure that you are destroyed!"
The cyborg secretly buried the Colonel – another unexplained disappearance related to the Camden family. Then, for months afterward, he stealthily snuck in and out of CIA headquarters in order to steal highly advanced parts with which to rebuild himself. After he felt certain that he was rebuilt stronger and faster than he had ever been before, not to mention loaded with new extra features, he finally decided it was time to begin his journey to track down and kill Gabrielle LaBelle.
But that, dear readers, is another story altogether.
END