Author's Warning: The following chapter contains a fair amount of sentimentality, though hopefully not at Hallmark levels.
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"Hey, are you okay?" I heard a voice behind me say as I faced the window. "That's a big pile of Kleenex."

In the typical teen male fashion, I answered, "Shut up." Unfortunately to my pride, my voice shook. I turned my head slowly, trying not to hurt my broken bones. It didn't work. "Ow," I said under my breath, and couldn't help sniffling.

It was Iceman who was talking to me, now sitting halfway up. He looked more awake than he had the day before. "What happened? Did your sister –I mean – that girl upset you?"

"Please continue to shut up."

"Look, I'm just trying to –"

"D-d-drop it! OKAY?"

"Help..." Iceman finished weakly, dropping back into a supine position. "Fine then." He left me to my guilty sulk.

I collapsed onto my back as well, exhausted. I can't believe she's dead. Killed herself. No, Spirit's lying to confuse me. Crystal isn't dead. It's all a lie... Forget it, she is dead. Gone, lost, and never to forgive me. What kind of person am I? Such thoughts had occupied me for what seemed like years since Silent Spirit had left me. After the first shock, I had alternated grim calm with fierce grief and self-hatred. The mutant beside me had broken through my mental ranting, but it soon swallowed me up again. I shouldn't have pushed her away, I thought. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. I shouldn't...I closed my eyes to keep tears from flowing out.

Suddenly, in the middle of all this, another thought entered my mind, one I hadn't thought of before. But if you believe that you should have treated your girlfriend the same as you had treated her before her mutation appeared, then does this mean that you believe she wasn't dangerous, after all?

Without meaning to, an answering thought of mine came. Well, I really don't want to admit that. It seems too obvious. She didn't become a different person, all of a sudden. She was still vulnerable. Crystal always did overreact. But if I believe that statement, how can I justify fearing all these mutants, if they are the same as they were before their mutations appeared?

"How, indeed?" My eyes flew open. Between my bed and Iceman's was the Professor. "Forgive me for eavesdropping, but you are broadcasting your thoughts very widely. Intense emotion is difficult for telepaths to ignore."

"Oh crap. You caught that?" I wanted to sink so far into the ground that I would come out in Australia. "So it was you who made that statement. I thought that was my idea!"

Iceman inquired, "What are you talking about?"

"He read my mind," I said shortly.

"Oh."

Professor Xavier turned his wheelchair towards Iceman. "I actually was coming to say hello to Bobby here. Do you think you'll be able to join us today?"

He made an effort to sit up. "I guess so, if X-Ray says I can."

"Not till tomorrow!" she called out from her office, several beds away. Iceman sank onto his back again, and kept quiet for the rest of the Professor's visit.

I put a pillow over my head, trying to bury my face. "Oh, man. You can't keep secrets in this place!" It felt like everyone was listening to me.

The Professor smiled gently. "It is rather difficult, unless one happens to be a mute who can erect mind barriers as well."

"Can anyone here do that?"

"Spirit can."

"Aargh!" I moaned. "Why won't anyone stop going on about her?"

He sounded like any teacher explaining a concept to a confused student. "Because she is very concerned about you, almost to the point of obsession."

"Really?"

"Dr. Ray caught her sneaking in at 2 AM to see you."

"Oh, so she IS the one leaving the books and things." Freaky, I thought.

Spirit has always been a bit set apart from the rest of the students, just because of the unusual qualities of her gifts, he thought to me.

My mind screamed, She freaking' talks with dead people!

That is a way of putting it. My point is that she is exceedingly worried about your acceptance or lack thereof, of her, especially because she often feels cut off from society.

Which means?

His firm glance looked straight at my eyes. Spirit is lonely, and has been for most of her life. She deeply wants some remnant of her family alive and back with her again.

I protested aloud, "But that's not my problem. You still haven't proved her claim that we're...siblings." It was a word that was hard for me to say.

Professor Xavier replied, "There is plenty of proof, but none that you are willing to believe. The only evidence that you could not accuse us of fabricating is buried in your own brain."

"Oh no. Ohohoho no," I said. "You're not going to mess with my head. I like it the way it is."

"Ryan, I know that you've often wondered what you've forgotten, what your life truly was like before you lost contact with your family." He sounded deeply sincere. "When I initially read your mind, I was unable to go past the wall that has sealed off part of your memory. The wall, I believe, is a combination of your head injury and simple fear of the past being something that you cannot accept. One of the teachers at the Institute also has amnesia, much worse than yours. I failed to untangle the knot preventing him from recalling much of his life, but I learned in the process that unlocking memory is much easier when the subject desires it as well. If you are willing to let me in, and consciously try to remember, I am almost certain that I could give you back much of your early childhood."

Give it back...

I had wished to remember my first life for years. When I was younger I used to fantasize that my father would turn out to be alive, and that he would find me again. He took all sorts of forms in my mind, but usually I had imagined someone who looked like me, who wouldn't ever yell at me, and liked me the way I was. I also wondered what it would be like to have a mother who could talk to me about ordinary things, and didn't make every discussion into a debate or interrogation. Never had it occurred to me that my actual parents might not have matched up to this image.

And never, ever had it entered into my wildest nightmares that one of them would have been a mutant. Dad was a mutant too, I remembered Spirit telling me. I wanted it to be a lie, but what if my memories proved something that I didn't want to be true? People say that the truth will set you free, but also that it hurts. What kind of freedom would be worth such pain? If everything Silent Spirit, her friend, and these people in the school said was true, my entire belief system and all my values would have to undergo a thorough overhaul. It didn't seem worth it.

"No," is what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell Professor Xavier that I appreciated having his staff getting me into their hospital, not murdering me, and asking for my permission to 'unlock the memories', but he could just forget about invading my past. But just at that moment, I saw Spirit walk in the door.

She was quietly dressed in a pale green, short-sleeved shirt and blue jeans that were cut off at the mid-shin point. Her gray fur didn't jar me quite so much anymore, and that silver hair – looking at it a certain way, it was almost cute. With those sunglasses it was impossible to know what emotions were in her eyes, but when she turned towards me a sweet, hopeful smile brought life to her face. I suddenly thought of Crystal, and how she had always greeted me with a smile just like that. The killer was that Spirit had a clarinet in her hands and mouth, and I recognized the tune she played. It was "Cold, Cold Heart."

Reluctantly, my suspicious (and bigoted) self yielded to my softer side. "I'll think about it," I told the Professor, slowly. "It's a big step to take."

Did I catch a knowing smile on his face? I hadn't felt any foreign thoughts in my decision, but it would have been very easy for him to 'hear' my inner conflict. "Very well," was all I heard him say.

Silent Spirit arrived by my bedside, unaware of what had just happened. She signed a 'hello' with one hand, holding her clarinet in the other. I signed one back. When she looked at me quizzically, I explained, "I took a sign language course in middle school. I forgot all of it except 'hello' and 'goodbye'." Actually, I remembered some other words as well, but not ones that I thought I'd use with her.

"I'll leave you two together, then," Professor Xavier said. "Bye then, Bobby," he added, though Iceman seemed to be asleep again.

"Wait!" called out a girl's voice. I recognized Spy heading towards us, with a boy that I took to be her boyfriend trailing after her. "Professor, I need to tell you something."

"Yes?"

She seemed agitated. "I had a vision just a moment ago, and I think that someone is going to be kidnapped again."

My goodness, I thought, resigning myself to the mutant invasion, since I couldn't really do anything about it. She can tell the future?

Sometimes, she answered me without moving her mouth. But my mind-reading skills are better.

I hate it when you do that!

The Professor sighed and rubbed his temples. "So is that why Magneto came last time?"

"I think so, but I have no idea who he's after. Could you use Cerebro to find out?"

The boy spoke for the first time. "Spy, Magneto doesn't tell his associates anything until they have to know, and you know that the Professor can't read his mind."

"Quite right, Jim, I'm afraid. But we do have that new security system in place, which did help last time. I will go talk to the teachers about it, all right, Spy?"

She nodded. "I have a really bad feeling about this, but that helps." Spy must have been updating Spirit on the conversation, for the furred mutant gave her a reassuring hand squeeze. I noticed that the one they called Jim held Spy's hand as well, but for much longer.

"Do you know when it will happen?" asked the Professor.

"Sometime this week, that's all I know. I'm sorry that it's vague," Spy said.

To comfort her, Jim pointed out: "At least it's better than nothing."

"He's right. Don't be too upset. We've managed attacks before, and we will do so again. Goodbye, then," said Professor Xavier, wheeling his chair away.

The boy looked at me, slightly nervously. He had light brown hair and hazel eyes framed by thick glasses, and looked like he had just shot up in height but hadn't filled out properly yet. "Hi," he began. "You can call me Techie, if you like."

"Where did that nickname come from?" I asked.

Spirit perched herself on the windowsill while Spy pulled up an extra chair for Techie. She maneuvered her chair to be next to her female friend, but all three were close enough to touch. I sensed that they had been a strong trio for quite some time. Explained Techie, "I can control any machine involving electronics. I have to be touching it, but I just sort of tell it what to do." He broke off and did some sign language to Spirit, who grinned and answered him.

"I get it," I said. "But you guys said that you're going to be attacked again?"

Spy asked if I knew about the Brotherhood.

"Iceman told me some," I answered, waving a hand in his direction. "But I didn't really believe it."

"It is hard to believe," admitted Techie. "The funny thing is that they seem to really like kidnapping people from here. They've tried for Rogue, Kitty, Remy, and, oh, I dunno..."

"They convinced Pyro to join them," added Spy. "I can't even remember all the people they took. Good thing the teachers always get them back."

"Always?" I queried.

"Yeah," said Techie. "I've never known them to lose. We all look up to them, even Wolverine, who drinks and swears, but is still a good guy."

Before I could digest this, Silent Spirit tapped me on the shoulder. I turned my head to look at her. "Why'd you bring that clarinet?" I asked her. She blew a note and did a wistful look. "You want to play it for me?" She nodded. "Go ahead, then."

Spirit played a tune I had never heard before, but it sounded nice. I had to admit that she was a good musician. When she finished, I asked Spy, "How does she have us hear it, when we can't here anything else she does?"

"For some reason," explained Spy, "her own clarinet is the only thing that she, us, and the...other people she talks to can hear as well."

Other people? I thought, then with a shock suddenly remembered that Silent Spirit talked to the dead. I looked at her again, and the new eyes that had accepted her were taken away, and I saw her as a freak once more.

I wish you wouldn't, Spy's thought came.

And I wish you'd stay out of my head! I mentally yelled at her. She winced.

Techie detected a new strain in the atmosphere, and tried to change the subject. "You know, Ryan," he said, "you were actually here the last time the Brotherhood came here. Their car hit you while they were making their getaway. You know, that's why the teachers didn't get them, because they had to bring you in here, and by that time they were gone."

My eyebrows went up. "Oh," I said weakly, sinking back into my pillows. The conversation and music had made me forget the pain in my ribs and limbs. They reminded me of themselves again, with a vengeance. "I never asked. I had other things to think about. Wait, how did I get here in the first place?"

Spy said, "Spirit wonders how did you as well."

I cast my mind back to that day. "Well," I said carefully, "the morning before I hitched a free ride on an empty bus. I told the driver that I was heading to New York City to become a musician. He recommended a bus to take, and that the last stop was in Westchester, near a private school. I got on that other bus and fell asleep. That bus driver threw me out at the last stop, which was near here. And then that car hit me." Another thought struck me. "What I find really weird is that I ended up near here at all. What are the odds?"

Spy furrowed her eyebrows. "What did the bus driver looked like?"

I described him, and the route he traveled.

"What was his name?"

"Jeff."

Techie's jaw dropped, and Spy began to laugh. "What?" I asked. "What's so funny?"

Techie, when he managed to produce a sound again, told me, "If he had green eyes, then it was definitely Jeff. We call him Sandman."

Now it was my turn to be stupefied. "So he was a mutant! I got a flash of his eyes, but I thought that –"

"That a mutant wouldn't be that nice?" spat out Spy.

I sank a little further into the mattress. "Well, yeah."

She shook her head. "That's the whole attitude that drives me insane. Why can't everyone be like JIM'S parents? Why doesn't anyone realize that none of us are ANY different than how we were before, except that we can do a few more things? WHY?"

"Calm down," Techie whispered, kneading her shoulders. "Don't wake Bobby up." While she fumed, he said to me, "She's upset because her parents dumped her forever while mine let me come home for Christmas and the summer."

I wasn't sure what to say, settling for, "Gee, that sucks."

He brushed it aside. "Anyway, Jeff is a friend of ours. He meets a lot of runaway mutant teens, and he brings them here. Sometimes he drives us on a field trip, and on the last one, Spy told him about Spirit. Poor SS couldn't come for fear of freaking out the tourists. I guess Spy must've told Jeff about you as well."

All I could answer was: "Oh." There was a moment of awkward silence. "Why do you call him Sandman?"

Spy spoke again, emotions under control. "His power is to control sleep. He can make people fall asleep for a certain period of time, read their dreams, or analyze them. When he heard your last name, did he ask about your life?"

"Yeah, and I told him about my amnesia too. Are you saying that he made me fall asleep long enough to miss all the stops except this, in the hopes that I would meet Spirit?"

All three mutants nodded.

For the umpteenth time that day, I had to say, "Oh, man. Do I control my life anymore?"

"Guess not," said Techie. "You know, the entire school knows about you."

"Gee, y'think?"

"Some people are making wagers over whether you'll accept Spirit as your sister or not. Will you? Because if you don't decide that she's telling the truth, I'm going to owe my allowance to my friend, Artie, for the next month."

"Jim!" Spy scolded.

"Everybody's holding his or her breath," he amended.

I shrugged, and heard my shoulder crack. Grimaces all around, SS included. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but I don't know. To be fair, now that I've gotten to know some of you, you don't seem so bad after all, and Spirit seems very sincere. However, to be honest, I am very hesitant about staying here. I'm not one of you!"

Spy said, "Spirit says 'But you are. You're a Sing, and we two are supposed to belong to each other.' You know what? I agree. But very few normies I've met care anything about family ties, so I don't expect you to be any different."

That hurt. I began to feel miserable. "I can't tell you guys, because I don't know what I think myself. Please leave me alone."

"That's what you always say! What about Myra? Don't you care about her feelings at all?"

Techie said, firmly, "Spy, let's just go. You're not doing any good."

"Fine. But, Ryan Sing-"

"What?"

"You don't deserve to be related to her." The two left.

Spirit clambered off the windowsill, but paused for a moment. Her head shaking seemed more sad than angry, making her silver hair catch the light and sparkle. Though her shoulders were drooping, I had a sense that she wanted to apologize for her friend's behavior.

"No," the word came out of my mouth. "I should be sorry." I waited for her to go, but she stayed, seeming to be waiting for something more. "Yes, I suppose you can come back," I said. "But I can't say more than that. I have less idea that you do."

She smiled sadly, and involuntarily glanced at the family picture that she had placed by my side. A final nod, and she left.

Now alone again, I sighed deeply, closing my eyes. Why did life have to be so complicated?