A Series of Sleepless Nights or "Solilliquy"

Eh, crappy title x.x Ahem, anyways this is a Loki thinking about Fenris. I just thought of a brilliant idea for a second chapter!! squee! I also have a V-day story in the works oO;;; Gods only know why X,D Maybe I'll post it in late summer.. or something. Whenever I do get it up though, trust me, it will be most amusing XD One of these days I will eventually write a story that focuses more on Chaos and Iris ;;

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Loki stood watch over the campsite. He was wide-awake, tireless. He had offered to stand watch all night, assuring the others that he could handle the strain. What he didn't tell them was the reason why. If he slept, those dreams might come again. Terrible dreams, horrid nightmares that he, greatest of all assasains didn't dare face. It was laughable. The notion of him being afraid of a figment of his subconsious mind, yet it was true. Oh it was so true. Loki made the mistake of closing his eyes in thought for a moment, instantly the dream replayed in his mind.

That child, that anonymous girl in the dessert. The one who had given him that flower, and foolishly threw herself in front of the demon disguised as her father. Loki couldn't stop the blade. It wasn't his fault of course, but still..was it guilt that racked his dream-self's mind? The girl suddenly changed, it was Fenris. The very same Fenris he had saved on the airship, the one whom he admired, watched, observed from the shadows.

Fenris impaled on his blade, the sight was too much to bear. He grasped her lifeless, bloody form in his arms, his head bowed over her sobbing. The scene shifted, the airship again. Fenris' hand firmly in his, the very same as he had seen it that day, yet something wasn't quite right...Fenris slipped from his grasp and fell, fell thousands of miles, with him able to do nothing.

Fenris watching Chaos with heartache written across her face. She chased after him, as he, and another figure, (Iris?) ran on ahead, unaware of any of them. Loki sprinted after her, but he could never quite catch up to her, a black gulf appeared between himself and Fenris, separating them, infuriating him.

Then he saw her again, illuminating the darkness. She was walking towards him, his heart surged with emotion, (was it hope?) He ran to greet her, but he went through her, or she through him like a ghost. She had not seen him, or felt him, he was invisible to her. He walked alongside her for a long time, 'til he was too exhausted to follow her any further. Then the dream started all over again, cycling through the images, gradually increasing in speed, until it was just Fenris on his blade, falling from his grasp, the pain within her eyes, and a ghost through which he passed.

Loki's face was contorted into a fierce snarl. He snapped his eyes open, he rubbed his forehead, trying to get himself to relax. He reached deep within his jacket, and carefully drew out a pressed flower. It was pink, paler than it had been when the girl gave it to him, but the color had held. He gazed at it, thinking.

I have had many visions before, some in dreams, and some with my waking eyes, but these I do not know how to interperet. I do not wish Fenris dead.. On the contrary, he wanted to see her at ease and happy. He thought of the first time he had encountered her, that day he had gone hunting for revenge. He had noticed her yes, she had even sensed him, set up a sheild, but he hadn't gotten a good look her until after the battle. It was then, he thought, I became intrigued. She had the boldness and the bravery to address him, 'You! Who are you? Why did you attack us?' She is strong, yet when she sees Chaos, especially when Iris is around, she seems to crumble. He crossed his arms, and bowed his head. He padded quietly over next to her and sat down cross-legged. He drew in a deep breath, then let it out. Finally admiting to himself, I am afraid Fenris Fenrir. I am afraid of losing you, as you have lost Chaos. I know not what to do. How can I help you? What should I say? He paused, considering many possibilities and ideas. He stood up, I do not know enough about this matter. Perhaps if I took council with one of the others...perhaps Iris. The cleric is wiser than she lets on.

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((Heeeee wait til you see the next chapters!! ))