To Rebuild From Ashes

Chapter III

Disclaimer: God I hate writing this... well I don't own jack-shit blah, blah, blah.

Author Note: Wow! Thanks for the reviews, I got reviews from almost all of my favorite Gundam Seed writers! Awesome, well I hope I don't boggle this fic up, hope you guys will like how this place will go.

Lacus Klein entered the command room to the Eternal feeling even more tired then she usually was. Still, she put up her usual façade that ended up fooling most of those that did not know her well. Only Andrew and Athrun realized her deception for what it was, but thankfully kept quiet about it. They knew it was not their place to say anything even if they did want to.

She took her normal seat above and at the centermost stop of the command room while calming her-self mentally. In 15 minutes time, there would be a continuation from yesterday's negotiation to ensure peace between two long- opposed forces. She feared if she somehow messed up and caused the two sides to aggrevate one another, it might cause another war.

She felt that it was upon her and Captain Ramius' shoulders that laid the hopes of most of human race. Lacus could only imagine that the Blue Cosmos would be against this very peace treaty to ensure coexistence between the Coordinators and Naturals. She sighed realizing that even if this peace treaty were to be successful, there would always be factions to revolt. That there would always be prejudism and no time would erase that from human existence. Prejudism for Coordinators might somehow cease but it would always flare up in another form. Such was the folly of the human race.

Athrun looked at his once-fiancé in worry. She put up such a strong front that it hurt him. It hurt him to know that she rarely let anyone in the see the true her. It hurt him to know that she believed that she needed to keep up this façade for others. He felt horrible for her to have such a burden upon her shoulders. To not be able to express her true feelings, to not be able to mourn her father's lose, to not be able to mourn her former friends that died. At least he had someone to support him during this time of grieving, and yet right now the only one he could think of helping her was off to only god knows where. (And us!)

'Damn you Kira, what could be so important that you would ignore your duties. Not even you can be that ignorant to believe that you are the only one suffering... What are you up to?'

He remembered yesterday, where he and Cagalli comforted each other in their morbid thoughts. Again it was Kira that caused such pains. Not just to Lacus but to him and Cagalli also. But they helped each other and were able to somewhat ignore the pain. However Lacus didn't have anyone to do that with.

He felt so worried for her that he even ignored his little speech about him not being the best to talk to Lacus, and tried to talk to her, to get her to open up. But the only thing it did was prove his theory on her reaction to his help.

He sighed causing Andrew to look up at him. Athrun knew that Andrew also worried for Lacus, but he hid it better then anyone else he knew. Athrun himself was lost on what to do, he hated not knowing how to help a friend. He shook his head just hoping that leaving it alone for now would be best.

The negotiations ended without many problems. It seemed that the whole point for the negotiations was for some sort of dramatic conclusion to this peace talk. Politicians, go figure. How Cagalli hated them could not even be described. Arg!

She went back to her room wishing she could be with Athrun. With that thought also came an annoyance that she somehow came to rely on him. Her once independence was now somehow destroyed through his caring self. His ability to listen and understand her problems broke through her independent walls.

It scared her to have someone understand her so well. It was different and she hated difference. Difference made change and change meant adaptation. She hated it more when she was with Athrun she found that she wasn't in control anymore. She hated not being in control. However none of these emotions were as strong as the strange emotion which she never felt before. She didn't know if this emotion was the double bladed sword that was considered a joy and at the same time broke so many hearts also. She didn't know if this was the emotion was truly love, yet she enjoyed the feeling the emotion brought nonetheless.

"This is Kira Yamato receiving permission to dock on the Eternal."

"This is Yasha Hiroshi, Eternal's Flight Maintenance Supervisor; you have received the green to dock."

"Understood"

Kira flew the ship into the hanger of the Eternal, letting go of its controls. The ships gracefully entered the ship thanks to the magnetic fields of the hanger guiding the ship in. He was extremely tired and glad to be back to the closest place he felt to home, with his friends. On the ship he didn't have an easy time sleeping. He woke up constantly knowing that of the Coordinator race on the threat of extinction. He was constantly tormented by the knowledge and woke up screaming.

Athrun, Lacus, and many others might not be able to continue their linage if this keeps on. He knew for a fact that they were the second generation of the coordinator blood. Even if this would not affect them directly, the knowledge that their children's children would face dire problems was not a pleasant one. He wanted to cry and he probably would later on.

He sighed and realizing that he did that a lot nowadays. He shook off such a stupid thought and entered the locker room. He took off his suit and placed it in the laundry basket for sterilization. Kira exited the room half asleep and never noticed the damage that was about to inflict itself upon him.

A shocked Kira found himself against the now closed door with a blinding headache. He couldn't think straight, everything seemed a blur to him. He reached up to his cheeks and winced with pain as he came in contact with sore skin. He also tasted something coppery in his mouth. He noted that it was blood and wondered if one of his teeth fell out.

Kira looked up to see who punched him and realized that it was a furious Athrun. His former friend/enemy was looking at him as if he was a piece of garbage. He could tell that it took all his self control to not beat him into a pulp. Kira was very confused at what was doing and why.

Athrun heard from the captain that Kira's ship was coming into port and felt glad that his long time friend was safe. However the feeling was soon gone and overcome with rage for the pain that he caused his friends. He floated himself out of the room and sped past the hallways of the ship. He put and extra push to the automatic moving handles to speed up to get to his destination faster. Athrun stopped outside the doors of the locker knowing that Kira would pass by it sooner or later. He knew for a fact that Kira always came out of this door out of habit and he would wait till he did.

He didn't have to wait long, for his friend soon exited from the door. And even sooner found him-self against the wall with a fast developing bruise. Athrun saw that Kira was confused and that enraged him even more. He didn't even realize how much strain he put on all of them!

'Calm down, Athrun you have to calm down. After all you have to at least hear what the ass has to say for himself. You have to at least know why your going to kill him. Then you may kill.' He told himself.

"WELL! What do you have to say, you left and disappeared for a day! Where have you been, do you know what we have been through! We have been through hell trying to figure out where you went, even Bartfield showed some concern for your safety!" Athrun was all but screaming at Kira.

Kira listened to his friends ranting and was ashamed at how much his friends worried because of him. However he wasn't ashamed of why he had to do it. In fact he was confident that he would do it again if he had to. He also knew that nothing short of Armageddon would stop him.

"I did what I had to do, and I'm sorry. I went to check out my past and that's all I'm going to say. If you don't like it, I'm sorry. But this is my secret and my secret alone. You knowing about it won't change anything, anyways." Kira said downcast.

He looked up to Athrun and knew that it didn't please him in the least. If anything it pissed him off more. In a blur he found himself against the wall with Athrun choking the life out of him. He was shaking Kira back and forth and he didn't seem to want to stop anytime soon. Kira was soon running out of air when he found he could breathe again.

He noticed that they have created quite a commotion and it luckily brought along a few strong, curious passer Byers. Even now it took 3 grown coordinators to hold Athrun back from kicking Kira's ass. Kira got up and quickly walked away before Athrun got away.

He walked up to Lacus's room in a hurry. He knew that he wanted to see her but that wasn't the reason for him rushing up there. He knocked on the door to her room and waited patiently. The door opened to show Lacus holding the pink Haro that Athrun gave her in two hands.

"Kira? Your back! What is it, do you need something? What is that on your cheeks?" Lacus asked happy that Kira was back.

"Um... Lacus it would be best if we spoke about this in private." Kira said.

"Okay..." With that Lacus backed up allowing Kira to enter the room. He walked up to her desk and turned around. The door was soon closed and he looked at her. He wanted to tell her his feelings for her, but he knew that business had to come before something as stupid as emotions. Even more so when the business that needed to be completed had so many lives at stake.

"Lacus, what are your connections with the PLANT organization? How much power and influence do you think you have?"

"What?" It was safe to say that Lacus did not expect the question.

"How much influence do you have in the PLANTs?"

"I guess I have powerful people by my side, especially with the former PLANT leader gone..."

"Would you be able to arrange a meeting with the foremost scientist in the fields of genealogy for me?"

"I believe so..." To Lacus the conversation was getting stranger by every comment. She didn't understand why such a topic was being brought up.

"Well could you do that? I need to speak with that person as soon as possible. This is urgent Lacus I wouldn't be wasting your time if it wasn't."

"Alright Kira... If you say it's important I believe you... I'll try my best to get a response for your meeting." She said slightly downcast.

Lacus was confused but mostly depressed. Here she was talking with the person she had feelings for and he wanted to talk about some meeting with a scientist. She could tell by his face that it was important, but she wished that he would at least talk with her. Maybe ask about her day, how the negotiations went, or how she was feeling. She desprately hoped that he would ask about how she felt. She knew that she could open herself to him. At least that is how she felt when she was around him.

She looked up to Kira's face noticing its relieved appearance. He seemed as if the whole world was somehow better by her help. She was somewhat pleased that she could help him, but wished that he would talk to her more. She wished that she had a shoulder to lean on for support when she needed help. She was so lost in this thought that she never noticed Kira approaching her.

"Thank you Lacus." Kira said while hugging her. He didn't know why he hugged her, but he was extremely grateful at how she always helped him in times of trouble. He was hesitant on hugging her but did it anyways. In his heart he knew that this was what he wanted, but his brains told him otherwise. It told him that he was somehow betraying Fllay. That he was disgracing her memory. His heart countered that Fllay would want him to be happy, and that Lacus was the best place for his happiness.

The epic battle that took place between every person's heart and head was now taking place within Kira's. He didn't know what to do, but he came to a compromise. He wouldn't push his current position with Lacus into anything, but wouldn't refuse it if it came into picture.

Kira hesitantly gave a soft peck on Lacus's forehead unsure of how she was going to react. He relunctantly backed away from Lacus and stood by her desk feeling awkward. It looked to Kira that Lacus had eased up a little. Almost as if the weight of the world had lightened it load from her shoulder. He was pleased at this and could see Lacus smile. He rarely saw her smile like this and he could tell this wasn't a poker smile. It wasn't a smile that was placed more as a mask then something to express emotion.

He could tell that this smile was a smile of happiness and relief. She seemed to gain focus again and seemed to focus her eyes to something on his face. He was wary wondering what she was looking at when she exclaimed.

"Kira what happened to your face?"

"Oh, nothing really, umm I sort of banged my face against a... wall!" Kira was never good at lying and he sure didn't learn a thing or to about it in the last day.

It was obvious at how Lacus didn't belief him. "Your cheeks are blue because you hit a wall, Kira?"

"Well, yeah...?"

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself Kira?" Lacus asked with amusement.

Kira couldn't answer so he just looked away. He could tell that Lacus got up and went to somewhere in his room. He took a peak at what she was up to and saw that she went to get something in her drawers. She came back with a white box. She stood in front of him and opened the box.

Lacus pulled out a tubing of some sort. At first he thought it was toothpaste but that made no sense. He saw he unscrew the cap and squeezed the tubed applying gel onto her fingertips. She closed the cap with some difficulty now that two of her fingers were occupied with the blue gel from the tube.

She reached up to Kira and moved her hand to his cheek. He flinched expecting pain from her touch but was met with a cool sensation. Lacus rubbed the cooling substance onto his cheek and smiled when she was done. She backed away telling Kira that it would help with his bruise. He was glad that she didn't push the questioning of his bruise and smiled back when he felt the gel still cooling his right cheek.

"So what's new?" Kira asked taking a seat on the floor.

"Oh, the negotiations seemed to have come out better then expected."

"It did?"

"Yes... but there is still much animosity between the Coordinators and the Naturals."

"That is to be expected... Scars take time to heal, and even in time some scars will never fully heal." Kira said with his every-once-in-a-while words of wisdom.

"Do you really believe that Kira?" Lacus asked her voice suddenly quiet.

"I wish it wasn't true... but I think that in some part of my mind that I will always believe it." Kira answered, horrified that the mood of the talk taking a turn for the worse.

"Why, why would you believe that?" Lacus asked with unshed tears in her eyes.

"I just can't begin to accept that all deeds can eventually become undone... I don't know maybe I'm wrong and I'm just being pessimistic now." He gave a harsh laugh that seemed so out of place for him.

Kira looked up to see Lacus having tears drip down her face. She seemed so helpless at the moment it hurt his heart. It hurt him that somehow he hurt her, the sweet and gentle siren that enchanted him upon first laying eyes upon her. He walked up to her and hugged her. He hugged for all he was worth never wishing to let go.

Well... yeah I hope that you like this story. This story was more of like an exploration on character feelings, and I know I did badly on this considering that I always write emotional chapters bad. Lol but I wrote this in a day and I hope you all like this. Again thanks for all the reviews really appreciated.