Chapter Two
Standing under the hot spray of the shower she let the steaming water flow over her, letting it seep into her tired and sore muscles. She'd had a few hours of sleep yesterday but it wasn't enough to make up for the lack of sleep during the past two weeks. Leaning her head against the cold tile she closed her eyes, trying desperately to stay awake. Feeling herself loosing the battle she reached out blindly and shut off the hot water, letting the cold water shock her into wakefulness.
Sputtering and shaking she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. The agency had given her a change of clothes, her other ones splattered with blood from the dying Birol. Toweling off she remembered holding him in her hands, trying to make him tell her why and how he seemed to know who she was. His death had come far too quickly for her to get the information she needed from him.
That was the hardest part of her life. No knowing anything beyond the last three years. She had questions that no one was able to answer, dreams she couldn't explain, feelings that haunted her every second of the day. And now, when she was finally getting settled into a life she had built for herself, she heard the shock of recognition in the voices, seen it in the faces, of the people she was only just meeting.
One face in particular stuck out in her mind. The leader of this federal agency, his wide hazel eyes filled with pain, hope despair and joy all at the same time. Those eyes had frightened her, yet at the same time she had felt strangely comforted by them. Like the shock of a thunderous boom while harbored in the safety of a warm cabin. In those eyes, she somehow knew, she had nothing to fear.
The questions still seemed to overwhelm her and despite her attempts not to remember his whispered plea still rang in her ears.
'Amanda.'
It had been so many things in that one word. A prayer, a plea for something, she didn't quite know what. His voice had washed over her like a warm breeze on a cool day, comforting, soothing her raw nerves. She had wanted to stay, wanted to hear him speak again, but Winter had seen the blood on her temple and had pulled her away to be taken care of by one of the medical technicians.
Now, clean and dressed, it was her stomach that was speaking to her, demanding to be fed some real food. Trying to ignore it she opened the door to the locker room and saw the guards standing there. Letting them lead her through the hallways she examined the building around her as she walked. When they came to a large open room filled with desks they led her off to the one side and knocked on the wooden door. After hearing the 'Come in' from within the room one guard opened the door and motioned for her to go inside.
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Sitting behind his desk Lee didn't bother to look up as the door opened. Francine came in, Winter following behind her, and took a seat across the desk. Billy sat on the couch in the corner, the silence filling the room. He knew they were waiting for him to say something, do something, but he didn't. He couldn't. His eyes were glued to the picture in his hands, the picture of a woman he had lost three years ago.
His wife.
Amanda Stetson.
Blackrose.
Closing his eyes he saw her again, her brown hair wild from being stuck under a ski mask. Her left eyelid drooped a little, why he could only imagine. There was a scar that ran from the bottom of her ear to the base of her jaw. Had it been his imagination or had her lips seemed a little thinner than before? Opening his eyes he looked at the picture and realized that they weren't thinner, she had been compressing them together making them look thinner. It was an old habit he recognized from their time as partners.
"Lee?"
Looking up at Francine he saw her gesture to her eyes and only then did he realize he was crying. Swiping away the water he shook himself, pulling himself together before facing Winter. "I want to know everything you can tell me about Blackrose. Don't leave a single detail out."
Nodding the man thought back to the first time he had seen her.
"She was working in a small café in France when we first met her. She spoke the language but she didn't have the accent quite right. That was how we knew she wasn't French. We were there on a mission but it went south fast. We would have ended up dead if it hadn't been for BR.
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Standing behind the counter she poured three cups of coffee for the men that had just come in. Putting the cups on a tray with the cream and sugar she carried it over to their table in the corner. They seemed nervous but she ignored it, they were obviously tourists. Two more men came in and she directed them to a table in the middle of the room but they chose to sit directly opposite the table of three. Standing behind the counter once more she watched the five men while she worked on preparing another pot of coffee.
Before they made a move she seemed to sense that something was going to go badly and she ducked low, the coffeepot shattering above her. Resisting the urge to scream she hurried back into the storeroom. Three of the men, the three that had seemed nervous, suddenly appeared behind her, one keeping an eye out the door, firing his gun now and then at the other two still in the café. Asking for her help in perfect French the men asked her for the keys to her car.
Staring at them for a moment she suddenly grabbed her purse and motioned for them to follow her. Out the back door into the alleyway she started to turn left but stopped when she saw another man waiting at the end of the alley. To the right was a high brick wall but there were several holes they could use as foot and hand holds to get up the wall. Heading down that way, keeping out of sight as long as it was possible, she pointed up the wall and motioned for them to climb over it, setting the example by going over first.
Once on the other side they slipped through various alleyways until the men were lost, hoping that this woman leading them knew where she was going. After some time they came to a small building. Pulling a key out of her pocket she unlocked the door and they hurried inside. Up a long flight of narrow stairs to the third floor they entered an apartment that was spartan except for a few plants along the windows. Settling down onto the only chair in the room she turned to look at the men she had helped.
"Who are you?" she asked in perfect English.
"We're Americans. Thanks for all the help but we can take it from here."
"They'll kill you the instant you set foot on the streets."
"What makes you so sure of that?"
"They followed us."
Peeking out the window Winter saw that the men were down in the alley, searching for an unlocked door. Swearing he searched the small apartment for another way out.
"If you want to get out of here alive I suggest you tell me who you are. If I believe you, I'll help you."
Glancing at the other men Winter faced her. "I'm telling you the truth. We're Americans. We came here looking for some information that had been stolen from our government. We found it and took it and those men want it back at any cost."
She watched him for a moment in silence. When he was sure she wasn't going to say a word she stood up from her chair. Disappearing into the bedroom for a moment she came back out with a rucksack swung over her shoulder.
"Lets go."
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"She got us out of the country and Queen recruited her as a result. She named her Blackrose because she's beautiful but mysterious and sad. Somehow BR seems to know exactly what to do with little or no training. No one can explain it, least of all her."
"Why?" Lee asked. Before he could get an answer there was a knock on the door. "Come in," he called out, irritated at the interruption.
The door opened and he could see one of the guards motioning for someone to enter the office. "This way, ma'am."
"Thanks," he heard her say as she entered the room.
Blackrose scanned the room quickly, a habit that was second nature to her, before choosing a seat on the couch next to Billy. Sitting on one of her legs she pushed herself into the corner to better face Lee.
"So, who's gonna tell me why my mission came so very close to being completely messed up?" she asked, her tone conveying the underlying anger she still felt.
"BR, listen to me for a second. I had a chance to talk to Queen while you were gone. She understands why you wanted Birol alive but it's better that he's dead than escaped again."
"I'm not arguing that, Winter," she replied, turning to look at her friend. "But he died before I had a chance to get what I needed. Now I have nowhere to turn. Birol was my only link."
Winter smiled and shook his head. "Not anymore. Remember back in the hospital when you told us to start looking for something called IFF?" She nodded. "Well we found it."
"You what?" she whispered, her eyes wide. "IFF really exists?"
"Yep," he nodded, his smile widening.
"What were you doing in the hospital?" Lee asked quickly.
Seeing that BR was still trying to absorb that they had found IFF Winter answered for her. "She was recuperating. Birol had tortured her for information."
"What kind of torture?" Billy wondered.
"The usual stuff. Beatings, drugs. Then he switched to electric shock therapy. Birol said he refused to believe that I couldn't remember the answers he wanted."
Her voice was soft, void of any emotion, but they could tell the pain was still boiling underneath the surface. Watching her carefully Lee could see that she was close to a breaking point, the exhaustion, stress, and hunger taking their toll both physically and emotionally.
"It's been a long day," he said suddenly. "Why don't we all get some sleep tonight and we can talk again in the morning. Winter, you and Aman... Blackrose will be put up in a guestroom here in the agency. I'm afraid it's the best we've got. Francine will show you the way."
When they had left, Billy and Lee alone again the room fell silent. Lee found himself staring at the place where she had been sitting, unable to tear his eyes away. Millions of thoughts ran through his mind but it all boiled down to the same thing.
"She's alive."
Billy watched Lee carefully. The man had been in tears earlier but now he looked ready to pass out. "Listen to me son," he said after a moment. "Go home, get some rest. We'll figure this out in the morning but you need to be rested to do so."
"Billy..."
"I know, Lee," he said, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I know."
Nodding, unable to think of an excuse not to leave, Lee stood and gathered his jacket. Making his way out to the garage he walked in a daze, not realizing he had driven all the way home until he turned off the car in the driveway. Numbly he climbed out of the car and headed up the walk to the front door, letting himself in to the dark house. Shutting the door behind him he took a few steps into the living room and stopped still.
Being in the house he had come to think of as his own Lee was suddenly assaulted by the memories of the woman that had lived here before. He could still see her standing at the sink washing the dishes, jumping at the suddenness of his appearance in the window. The couch where they had shared so many meals still held an invisible impression of her body on the cushion. In the air he could smell her perfume though it was already long gone, the scent nothing more than a distant memory.
The memories overwhelmed him and Lee stumbled toward the couch, falling to his knees as he reached the cushions, unable to go any farther. "Amanda," he cried, tears filling his eyes again as they had in his office. "Thank you God!"
"Lee?" Dotty called as she inched down the stairs. Seeing him kneeling in tears by the couch she hurried to his side. "Lee! What's wrong?"
Trying to pull himself together Lee looked up into the eyes of his mother in law and knew he couldn't keep this information from her. "Dotty," he started, his voice thick with tears. "Amanda!"
"Oh Lee," she soothed, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "I know you miss her darling. We all do. But she's still in your heart and you have to believe..."
"No!" he interrupted her. "You don't understand!"
"Lee, I do understand! I lost my husband and my daughter."
"Dotty, listen to me!" Lee cried, his voice getting louder, tears still streaming from his eyes. "Amanda is alive!"
"What?" she said, shaking her head with a frown. "Lee what are you talking about? What kind of sick joke is this?"
"It's no joke, Dotty! Amanda is alive, I saw her, she's at the agency right now!"
Backing away from him she stared at her son in law with confused eyes. Shaking her head she turned away, "That's not possible. You told us no one could have survived that fire!"
"No one could have but somehow Amanda did! Dotty why would I lie about this? Amanda's... she's alive!"
"You're sure?" she asked breathlessly, gripping the counter of the island to keep from falling over. Tears began to form in he eyes when Lee nodded. "My Panda is alive!"
"Lee?"
Turning around Lee saw two sleepy teenagers standing at the base of the stairs. Both were looking at him with confusion in their sleepy eyes. Taking a deep breath Lee motioned for them to come closer. Motioning for everyone to gather around the dining room table Lee waited until they were all seated to begin speaking.
"You guys know I can't give you a lot of details about my line of work. But this is something I can't keep to myself. I can't answer a lot of questions simply because I don't have the answers yet. But I promise as soon as I have answers that I can give to you I will let you know."
"Lee," Philip interrupted. "Grandma's crying, you're crying; just tell us what's going on."
Nodding, "Right. Okay here goes. Today when I was called away from the game I met up with some agents from a different type of agency. Same purpose but different bosses. One of the people working for this agency was a woman code-named Blackrose. Guys..." Lee took a deep breath, barely able to believe it himself. "It was your mom."
Both boys stared at him blankly.
"Amanda's alive."
Taking a deep breath it was Jamie that spoke first. "Where is she Lee?"
"She's at the agency."
"Why didn't she come home?" Philip demanded, hurt that his mother was alive but hadn't tried to reach them.
"Guys, we're fairly certain that she has amnesia. She doesn't know that she's Amanda Stetson. She can't remember me or you or anyone that she loved."
"What happened Lee?" Jamie asked. "How did she make it out alive?" Jamie had read the file, he knew what had happened that night.
"We don't know yet." Pausing for a moment, seeing the tears in their eyes, knowing he had his own, Lee tried to phrase his next words carefully. "We're going to try and help her to remember who she is, but there's a big chance we won't be able to. Amnesia is a tricky thing and after three years it gets even trickier to try and cure."
"But she's alive and she's healthy, right?" Lee nodded. Trying desperately to get his trembling chin under control Philip looked at Lee. "And you'll tell us what's going on?"
"I'll make sure you know as much as I'm allowed to tell you," he said, not wanting to lie to them. "It's going to be rough, guys, but we can make it through if we stick together."
Both boys nodded. Knowing they would never get back to sleep Lee told them to go back to bed, they both had work tomorrow. Hugging each of them he sent them off to their room before turning his attention to Dotty. "You haven't said much."
The older woman tried to smile. "What is there to say." Getting to her feet she gathered her robe around her and hugged her son in law, kissing his cheek. "No matter what happens, Lee, keep her safe okay?"
"I will Dotty," he swore, kissing her cheek and hugging her tightly. "I swear I will."
Heading up to her room Dotty left Lee standing in the dining room gazing at the house around him. Images of Amanda still haunted the rooms but this time there was a ray of hope shining in on them and for the first time in three years Lee began to feel like his old self.
'I'm okay you know,' he heard her tell him, watching as she turned to face him, her hands covered in suds from the dishes. 'I was a little lost but I'm on my way back now.'
"I love you," he said, staring at her eyes, seeing the love that shone out from them.
'I know, it's what kept me going. I'm almost there, Lee. Don't give up, I'm almost home.'
The call of a bird in the window caught his attention and when Lee looked back she was gone. "I won't give up, Manda," he whispered to the empty air. "Not ever."
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Sitting on the corner of the bed, fairly certain the mirror on the far wall was a two way, Blackrose ignored whoever might be on the other side as she changed, ready to fall into bed and sleep for an eternity. Turning out the light she slipped into the bed, pulling the covers over her and closed her eyes. Every night it was the same, and she had come to expect the dreams that came when she slept.
Blank faces sailed past her in a train station, each of them wearing a red hat and a waiter's uniform. Some tried to call out to her but she couldn't hear them, some thugs dragging them away before she could get to them. Up ahead, hanging from a street lamp hung a straw stuffed scarecrow, a gun in its hand. Its eyes seemed to stare at her no matter where she was. Normally she tried to ignore it but tonight she moved towards the hanging straw, a low whispering seemed to be coming from it.
'I need my heart,' she heard. 'Please give me back my heart.'
Running away from it she ran as far and fast as she could only to stop suddenly when she found herself back in that little café in France from so long ago. She could see Winter, Dad, and Skater sitting at the table and she knew she had to help them. They would die if she didn't help them. So she helped them but as they were climbing over the wall Blackrose stopped and looked behind her, something in the alleyway calling to her. Looking down she saw two little boys playing with a softball. The looked up at her and she could see tears in their eyes.
'Come home!' they pleaded.
They were ushered away by an older woman that glanced up at her, wagging a finger and telling her to be careful or she was going to put another hole in her sweater. Dropping to the other side of the wall she led her friends away to safety only to find themselves trapped in a warehouse, Addi Birol sending out sparks as he brushed the electrified poles together. Before she could move she was taken closer, unable to get away when he touched both poles to her.
Screaming she sat up, tossing the blanket aside as she swung her legs off the bed. Taking a few moments to catch her breath Blackrose looked up when the door opened and a man walked in carrying a tray of food. Setting it on the small table he sat down and looked at her.
"My name is Dr McJohn," he began after a moment. "I understand it's been a while since you ate so I brought you some food. I hope you don't mind the delay, you seemed to need sleep most of all."
"No problem," she said to him. Getting up she sat down across from him and picked up the fork. "Did I know you too?" she asked before she began to eat, her hunger making it impossible to go slowly.
"Yes you did. But that's not why I'm here. I wanted to ask you about your scars. Do you remember how you got them?"
Blackrose nodded. "Some of them." Seeing that he wanted information she took a few more bites before sitting back and reaching for the bottle of water. "I got this on a mission over a year ago," pointing to the scar that ran along her jaw. "It was taken care of by a doctor so there's no need to worry."
"How did you get it?"
"Some thug thought he could take me with a knife and I didn't see his friend standing behind me," she shrugged. "The two bullet holes in my shoulder are a little under three years old, I was shot while helping a senator get away from his assassin."
"What scars do you not remember?" he asked.
"The one on my chest," pointing to her heart. "The eye I remember but I don't know how it got there."
"How so?"
"I just woke up in the hospital, my face had been beaten along with a good part of the rest of me. How I got here I don't know, just that I was there."
Nodding the doctor smiled at her. "Eat up," he advised. "When you're done I'll take you to meet up with the rest of the group in the conference room."
Getting to his feet McJohn left the room. Chewing thoughtfully on a piece of chicken Blackrose looked up to the mirror that hung on the wall. Now she was certain it was a two-way mirror, there would have been more people in the room if it hadn't been.
Watching her eat Lee felt as though she was staring at him, he knew she knew it was a two-way mirror. When McJohn entered the small room he turned to look at him. "Well?"
"No doubt, it's amnesia. She's got a perfect clarity of events up until a few years ago. Whatever happened in that fire gave her a good enough jolt to take her memory."
"It there any possibility of foul play?"
The doctor thought silently for a moment. "It is possible, I can't rule that out. From the information Queen provided for us about Amanda it seems that she was brought into a hospital in Italy right near the warehouse. However she wasn't admitted until several days after the fire. From the accounts of the doctors they say she was a Jane Doe that was found unconscious in their parking lot."
Settling down he shifted into clinical mode and Lee hoped he could keep up. "There is no trace of any chemicals in her body so this isn't a drug induced amnesia. As you already know its very clear that she was tortured, most likely more than once though far enough apart to conclude it wasn't by the same person. There is cellular damage indicative of the electric shock therapy she mentioned and it's fairly recent, I'd say a few weeks most likely."
Jumping when they heard a loud knocking Lee looked at the two-way to see Amanda facing him. "Hey," she called out. "How about letting me out of here."
He could see that she had changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt while they had been talking and was now pacing the small room. Nodding to Dr McJohn Lee left the room and a few moments later the doctor escorted Blackrose to the conference room where everyone had gathered.
It was hard to ignore the looks of the older agents as she passed them by; no doubt they had known her, and it made her slightly uncomfortable. Glad to enter the conference room and get away from the curious eyes of the public area she sank down into the first chair available and slouched down low. Looking around she saw all the same people from before, Winter, Lancer, the woman, and Dr McJohn. It was the man at the head of the table that caught and held her attention however.
Scarecrow.
Her dreams came back to her in full force and she couldn't help but stare at him, wondering if there was a connection or not. Forcing herself to look away she looked down toward Winter and the man smiled at her.
"You'll never guess what Queen passed on today."
"What?"
"Chariot's out of the hospital. She is back home again with Skirts."
She smiled. "That's great. No doubt they'll be back in the field in no time."
Winter's smile faltered. "Unlike you."
"What?" she frowned, not likely where their conversation was heading. "What are you talking about?"
"Queens taking you off the field until we get this whole thing here straightened out. She says this is more important."
"No!" she cried, slamming her hand on the table. "She cannot do this to me!"
"BR, you've got the chance to finally get all your answers," Winter tried to reason. "Why are you turning this down?"
"Because some things are more important."
"More important than knowing who you are and how in the hell you ended up in the hospital?"
"Yes," she replied without hesitation. Winter glared at her. "We're talking about saving peoples lives, here winter. One person hardly measures up to the rest of the world. I can do my job with or without knowing who I am."
"Would you quit that martyr crap you love to dish out?" he ordered her. "You know as well as I do that you have a background that gives you an edge out there. When you finally get your memory back who's to say you won't be able to do even more?"
"And who's to say that I can do it at all?" she shot back, tired of this old argument.
"I will never understand this part of you BR. One minute your spending every spare moment trying to figure out who you are and where you came from and the next you're avoiding it like the plague. Quit trying to stall and talk to this man that seems pretty eager to help you."
Taking that order as his queue to jump in Lee finally spoke up. "We do want to help you," he started, waiting until she had turned to face him. "Winter's right. You have a background with us. We can help you remember what it is as well as the people that matter most to you."
"What can you do?"
Taking a deep breath Lee tried to steady his nerves. He didn't like what he was about to tell her but he knew they didn't have a choice. It was all they had.
"There is an experimental drug that may help to restore some if not most of your memory. It's worked in the past but it's very volatile and you would need to be kept under the constant supervision of Dr McJohn."
"Why?"
That was a question Lee hadn't expected. "Excuse me?"
"Why would you help me like this? What's in it for you?"
'My wife,' Lee thought to himself. Aloud he chose his words carefully. "You are a very good friend to everybody in this room. When we thought you were dead it was a bitter and nearly impossible pill to swallow. If there is a chance that we can help you to remember who you are and how much you mean to us then it is a chance we have to take."
"That's it, I have no choice in the matter?"
"BR!" Winter glared.
Motioning for him to be quiet Lee faced her with a directness that startled her. "The final choice is yours of course, but I will warn you that I and everyone else here will do everything in out power to convince you to at least try. We want you back."
Searching his eyes she didn't have to look far to see the pain and the... her heart stopped in her chest for a few beats before starting up again. What she had seen was gone in the blink of an eye but while it had been there it had nearly overwhelmed her.
Love.
An intense unwavering love had filled his eyes. Deeper than any she had ever seen before. It was that love that made up her mind. She had to know. The scarecrow in her dreams, the Scarecrow sitting before her... what was the connection?
Blackrose nodded her head. "All right, I'll do it."
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