Chapter Three
Lee sat on the couch in his office. It was late, later than he had planned on staying, but he couldn't seem to make himself leave. How he had managed to maintain control over himself in the conference room was beyond him. Seeing her there, talking to her, hearing her voice as she talked to him and the others; he wondered if he was going to be able to stay in control of himself while they were helping her to remember.
Hoping and praying that he could Lee gathered his things together and headed out. There was one thing he wanted to do before he went home for the night and rounding the corner he opened the door, keeping the light off as he entered the small room. Shutting the door behind him softly Lee leaned against the wall, watching her as she sat in the corner of the bed, a leather-bound book in her hands. Her eyes never left the page as she read and he wondered if she knew he was there or not.
Suddenly, after several minutes of no movement other than to turn the page, she lifted her eyes and looked at him. Lee's breath caught in his chest and his heart stopped beating. He felt as though she were staring into his soul. Did she know? Had she remembered him? Was it possible...?
"Stop watching me," she said after a moment. "I am not a prisoner."
Stepping back in shock Lee's heart sank as it started beating again. Reaching out he turned the light switch to on so she could see him. "I'm sorry. I just came to make sure everything was okay," he said back.
"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, waiting for him to leave. After a moment, when he didn't, she stood up from the bed and moved toward the mirror. "Who were you?"
"What?" frowning with confusion.
"Who were you, back when I knew you?" Blackrose repeated.
He paused to think before he answered. How much should he reveal? "We were partners."
"Scarecrow and Mrs. King," she nodded. "I've heard the stories." Pausing she stared at him for a moment. "I suppose I'm Mrs. King?"
Lee nodded. "Yes, you are."
She sighed and turned away. "I am so sick of not knowing who I am."
Watching as she set her book down on the table Lee looked down and saw a picture of the cowardly lion in the forest and he frowned. She was reading The Wizard of Oz? He wanted to ask but couldn't form the words. Did she realize what his connection was to that? Did she have any clue at all?
"That's why we're going to start the treatments tomorrow," he said gently. "So we can help you learn who you were."
Sitting on the bed again she drew one leg up and rested her chin on her knee. The sight of her looking so forlorn made him want to go to her, hold her tightly and take her pain and confusion away. Clenching a fist by his side he ordered himself to stay where he was. After a few moments of silence she looked back up at him.
"We were partners," she repeated. "Were we close?" Lee nodded, not trusting himself to say anything just yet. "I'd better turn in," she said suddenly. Getting up she pulled the covers of the bed down and reached for the light switch. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied. His heart ached to kiss her soft cheek but instead he turned and left, shutting off the light behind him.
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Sitting on the gurney she watched as the doctor filled a syringe with a greenish colored liquid. With a wary eye she kept watching him as he approached, injecting the liquid into her arm. Wincing at the slightly burning sensation she looked back up to him, waiting expectantly for an explanation.
"It should take effect immediately," he advised. "In a few minutes you'll start to feel light headed, a little dizzy. It will pass soon and then you should start to remember things."
"Everything?"
He shook his head. "No. It will be sporadic. The littlest things could spark a memory. You'll need to make sure that you don't go off alone, someone should stay with you at all times for safety's sake."
Sighing she nodded. "When can we begin?"
"Give it about an hour to fully dissolve into your system and then we'll try nudging some memories loose." Turning he placed a small transponder on her wrist. This will monitor you. If you start to feel any pain hit this button and it will call us to you right away."
Agreeing she hopped down from the gurney and began to head out of the medical lab. Walking down the hall she blinked when it began to swim before her eyes. Clutching her book tightly she focused on staying upright as she walked toward the office door not too far away. Knocking gently she waited for the "Come in" from within and opened the door. Closing it behind her she made her way to the couch and collapsed on it with a small moan.
"Are you okay?" Lee asked, concerned at the paleness of her skin and the moan he had heard when she'd sat down.
"Dizzy," she whispered. "Very dizzy."
Lee nodded. McJohn had warned him about that. "Rest there," he said. "Don't try to move till you're feeling better."
"Will do," she replied. Eye closed, leaning her head back against the cushioned arm of the couch, she stretched out on it, evening out her breathing as she concentrated on trying to keep the room from spinning. After some time, the dizziness abating, she opened her eyes and looked around. Seeing that Lee was the only other one in the room she gave him a small smile. "Feeling better."
"Good. Feel up to some coffee?"
"That would be great."
Waiting while he went out to get a cup of coffee for her she took the cup with a small smile, inhaling the aroma appreciatively. After a few sips, the liquid too hot to drink just yet, she looked back at Lee. "What exactly do you do here?"
"I'm the section chief. I run things, for lack of a better description."
"And me?"
"When you were still here we were field agents."
She nodded, taking in the information as she blew on her coffee. "Don't let me interrupt you," she said after a moment. "Just pretend like I'm not here."
"That would be impossible," Lee smiled. "It always was impossible to ignore you, no matter how hard I try."
'Stay in the car, Amanda!'
Blinking against the sudden voice in her mind she frowned. "What was that?"
"Pardon?"
"Nothing," shaking her head. "I was just thinking."
Averting her eyes she stared into the blackness of the mug, the words ringing in her ears like a broken record. Stay in the car. Who said that to her? Why? Whoever it was they had called her Amanda. It made sense that they had called her that, it felt right to hear it. Her mind kept returning to the same question. Who was it that had said that?
In the silence that filled the office Lee watched as she stared at her coffee. Something had bothered her and he wondered what it was. He knew he couldn't pry, not yet it was still too early, but he wanted desperately to know. He craved the information as much as he craved to touch her, his fingers twitching to stroke her soft brown hair. Clamping his hands together Lee tried to focus himself on the report in front of him but it was no use.
"Do you want to get out of here?" he said suddenly. Lifting his gaze back to Amanda he repeated himself when he saw the questions in her eyes. "I could go for a walk."
"Yeah," she agreed. "I'm feeling better and could really use some fresh air."
Getting up carefully, to make sure the dizziness really was gone, she headed toward the door, going through when he motioned for her to go first. Walking back down the hallway they stood in front of the elevator and waited for it to get to their level.
'Not exactly.'
Startled she glanced around. Who had said that? Frowning she tried to understand what it meant. Not exactly. Not exactly what?
"Are you okay?"
Glancing up at Lee sharply she nodded. "I'm fine, it's just..." she shook her head in confusion. "It's nothing I can't handle."
The elevator arrived and the climbed aboard, pushing the coats to the side so they had room to stand. Soon they were out in the fresh air and both breathed deeply, taking in the fresh air to try and expel what didn't belong. Motioning to a park across the way Lee led her toward it, supporting the small of her back by instinct as they crossed the street. It didn't occur to her to mind his forwardness, surprised at the feeling of content when she felt the warmth of his hand through her shirt.
Side by side they walked through the park, a leisurely pace, neither one speaking. Content to simply walk in silence. As they neared a fountain she stopped and looked into it to see the coins sitting on the bottom. "Penny for your thoughts?" Lee smiled.
She couldn't stop her smile in return. "Just wondering how many memories this fountain would buy me if they really were a penny."
"It's been hard," he said. It wasn't a question.
"Yes," she nodded. "Going through life was relatively easy when I'm able to keep active. Then, when there's nothing to do, is when it gets difficult. What are my hobbies? What did I do with my free time? I have no idea."
"You must have found that you like to read," motioning for her to sit down on a nearby bench. "You seem to carry that book with you wherever you go."
Looking down at the book in her hands she shrugged. "I've had this one for a while now. I picked it up after getting out of the hospital way back when."
"What made you get it?" Lee asked.
"I'm not sure. I was walking in the mall and saw an antique bookshop. I went in and found this on a back shelf. It seemed interesting so I got it. Impulse buy I guess."
He nodded. There hadn't been a memory specifically but at the same time she wasn't sure exactly what it was that had made her get it.
"You think it's because of you."
Her words had been spoken softly but Lee flinched. "I had hoped," he said honestly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Something in her wanted, wished that it had been an unconscious attempt to remember him.
Lee shook his head. "You've got nothing to be sorry for."
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'Oh my gosh!'
Jumping in her skin with surprise she frowned. That had sounded like her voice.
"Are you so bored that you have to amuse yourself?" Winter asked with a glare. Setting his cup down he reached for some napkins to wipe up the coffee that had spilled when she had jumped, knocking his arm with her elbow.
"Sorry, Winter," she apologized.
"Just warn me next time."
"I'll warn you when I get warned," she scoffed. Seeing the strange look from him she shook her head, waving it off. "Never mind."
"Sorry I'm late," Dr McJohn apologized as he hurried into the conference room. "Minor medical emergency." Sitting down he looked around, surprised at the size of the group. In addition to Amanda and Lee, Winter, Francine, and Billy were there as well. "Shall we begin?"
"What are we going to do?" she asked, wondering just what the doctor had in mind.
"I thought we would start with some basic word association. I'll say a word and you say of the first thing that pops into your head."
Nodding she waited for him to begin.
"Life."
"Alive."
Writing her response down on a small pad he kept going.
"Pain."
"Wound."
"Love."
"Family."
Several more times they went back and forth until she was shocked at the answers she was giving.
"Fire."
"Warehouse."
Lee glanced at Billy before turning his attention back to Amanda.
"Bomb."
"Trigger."
"Enemy."
"Adi Birol."
"Death."
"Preferable."
McJohn stopped in shock. "Preferable?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It just popped into my head."
Making a notation on his pad he kept going. "IFF."
"Lying."
"Scarecrow."
"Needs a heart."
Winter shook his head. "Will you ever drop that?"
"Drop what?" Francine asked.
"We are always having this argument. BR insists that the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz had a brain and he needed a heart."
"The book is wrong," she defended her opinion.
"How can the book be wrong?"
"I don't know, it just is."
'He created the Oz Network.'
Closing her eyes she frowned. "What was the Oz Network?" she asked after a moment.
"What do you mean?" Billy asked. "Are you remembering something?"
"I'm not sure. Someone told me that he created the Oz Network."
"Who created the Oz Network?" Lee prompted.
"I don't know." She sighed with frustration. "All I'm getting are random expressions. 'Not exactly', 'Oh my gosh', 'Stay in the car'. They don't make any sense."
"It sounds like you're trying to remember some things. Were there any others?" She shook her head. "All right. Let's see if we can't prompt something to come back." Reaching into his folder he brought out a picture and handed it to her. "Study this and tell us what comes to your mind."
Looking at the picture she frowned when she saw a picture of an abandoned warehouse. The building was empty, dust settled on the floor she could see footprints going off into the distance toward the far wall but never returning. On the ground sat a device that looked like a bomb and she wondered...
'Stay here Amanda, I'll be right back.'
'Alright, Lee. Be careful.'
Taking in a sharp breath she looked up at Lee. "You went out to do something and I stayed behind."
He nodded. "I had to go make a report and give out some orders to the ones that were waiting. You stayed in the warehouse to supervise the bomb squad."
Black jackets, bold white lettering printed across them, turned to face her with guns drawn.
"There was no bomb squad," she said, shaking her head. "They had guns."
'I hate guns.'
"I checked them out when they came. Their id's were in good order."
Billy looked at Lee; he could see the frustration. When it had dawned on him that it was the 'bomb squad' that had done this his fist had clenched on top of the table, his temple pulsing with anger.
'The password is checkbook, Mrs. Martsen.'
"If they were the ones that had taken Amanda whose bodies were found in the fire?"
'We can't build a fire, Amanda, it could be seen. Come here, we can share body heat to keep warm.'
Pain pounded in her head, increasing with each sporadic memory that came to her until she put her head in her hands, a small whimper of pain escaping from her lips before she could catch it.
"BR?"
"Amanda?"
Both men spoke at once, each one concerned at the whimper they had heard, the obvious pain they could see. Reaching out Lee touched her knee gently. "Amanda, take a rest. Let McJohn give you some pain medicine and we'll pick this up again later."
Unable to do anything more than nod she let them lead her back to the room she was staying in, falling into the bed. The prick of the needle barely registered before blackness settled in around her, the world seeming farther away with every passing second.
"Will she be okay?" Lee asked. Worry dripped from his words like a leaky faucet, unable to ignore.
"I think she'll be fine. I'll need to monitor her closely but I believe it's just a headache. It's a side effect of the drug."
"Keep me informed," Lee demanded. With a clenched fist he left the room, struggling not to hit something. She was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it.
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Lee sat on the couch in his office. It was late, later than he had planned on staying, but he couldn't seem to make himself leave. How he had managed to maintain control over himself in the conference room was beyond him. Seeing her there, talking to her, hearing her voice as she talked to him and the others; he wondered if he was going to be able to stay in control of himself while they were helping her to remember.
Hoping and praying that he could Lee gathered his things together and headed out. There was one thing he wanted to do before he went home for the night and rounding the corner he opened the door, keeping the light off as he entered the small room. Shutting the door behind him softly Lee leaned against the wall, watching her as she sat in the corner of the bed, a leather-bound book in her hands. Her eyes never left the page as she read and he wondered if she knew he was there or not.
Suddenly, after several minutes of no movement other than to turn the page, she lifted her eyes and looked at him. Lee's breath caught in his chest and his heart stopped beating. He felt as though she were staring into his soul. Did she know? Had she remembered him? Was it possible...?
"Stop watching me," she said after a moment. "I am not a prisoner."
Stepping back in shock Lee's heart sank as it started beating again. Reaching out he turned the light switch to on so she could see him. "I'm sorry. I just came to make sure everything was okay," he said back.
"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, waiting for him to leave. After a moment, when he didn't, she stood up from the bed and moved toward the mirror. "Who were you?"
"What?" frowning with confusion.
"Who were you, back when I knew you?" Blackrose repeated.
He paused to think before he answered. How much should he reveal? "We were partners."
"Scarecrow and Mrs. King," she nodded. "I've heard the stories." Pausing she stared at him for a moment. "I suppose I'm Mrs. King?"
Lee nodded. "Yes, you are."
She sighed and turned away. "I am so sick of not knowing who I am."
Watching as she set her book down on the table Lee looked down and saw a picture of the cowardly lion in the forest and he frowned. She was reading The Wizard of Oz? He wanted to ask but couldn't form the words. Did she realize what his connection was to that? Did she have any clue at all?
"That's why we're going to start the treatments tomorrow," he said gently. "So we can help you learn who you were."
Sitting on the bed again she drew one leg up and rested her chin on her knee. The sight of her looking so forlorn made him want to go to her, hold her tightly and take her pain and confusion away. Clenching a fist by his side he ordered himself to stay where he was. After a few moments of silence she looked back up at him.
"We were partners," she repeated. "Were we close?" Lee nodded, not trusting himself to say anything just yet. "I'd better turn in," she said suddenly. Getting up she pulled the covers of the bed down and reached for the light switch. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied. His heart ached to kiss her soft cheek but instead he turned and left, shutting off the light behind him.
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Sitting on the gurney she watched as the doctor filled a syringe with a greenish colored liquid. With a wary eye she kept watching him as he approached, injecting the liquid into her arm. Wincing at the slightly burning sensation she looked back up to him, waiting expectantly for an explanation.
"It should take effect immediately," he advised. "In a few minutes you'll start to feel light headed, a little dizzy. It will pass soon and then you should start to remember things."
"Everything?"
He shook his head. "No. It will be sporadic. The littlest things could spark a memory. You'll need to make sure that you don't go off alone, someone should stay with you at all times for safety's sake."
Sighing she nodded. "When can we begin?"
"Give it about an hour to fully dissolve into your system and then we'll try nudging some memories loose." Turning he placed a small transponder on her wrist. This will monitor you. If you start to feel any pain hit this button and it will call us to you right away."
Agreeing she hopped down from the gurney and began to head out of the medical lab. Walking down the hall she blinked when it began to swim before her eyes. Clutching her book tightly she focused on staying upright as she walked toward the office door not too far away. Knocking gently she waited for the "Come in" from within and opened the door. Closing it behind her she made her way to the couch and collapsed on it with a small moan.
"Are you okay?" Lee asked, concerned at the paleness of her skin and the moan he had heard when she'd sat down.
"Dizzy," she whispered. "Very dizzy."
Lee nodded. McJohn had warned him about that. "Rest there," he said. "Don't try to move till you're feeling better."
"Will do," she replied. Eye closed, leaning her head back against the cushioned arm of the couch, she stretched out on it, evening out her breathing as she concentrated on trying to keep the room from spinning. After some time, the dizziness abating, she opened her eyes and looked around. Seeing that Lee was the only other one in the room she gave him a small smile. "Feeling better."
"Good. Feel up to some coffee?"
"That would be great."
Waiting while he went out to get a cup of coffee for her she took the cup with a small smile, inhaling the aroma appreciatively. After a few sips, the liquid too hot to drink just yet, she looked back at Lee. "What exactly do you do here?"
"I'm the section chief. I run things, for lack of a better description."
"And me?"
"When you were still here we were field agents."
She nodded, taking in the information as she blew on her coffee. "Don't let me interrupt you," she said after a moment. "Just pretend like I'm not here."
"That would be impossible," Lee smiled. "It always was impossible to ignore you, no matter how hard I try."
'Stay in the car, Amanda!'
Blinking against the sudden voice in her mind she frowned. "What was that?"
"Pardon?"
"Nothing," shaking her head. "I was just thinking."
Averting her eyes she stared into the blackness of the mug, the words ringing in her ears like a broken record. Stay in the car. Who said that to her? Why? Whoever it was they had called her Amanda. It made sense that they had called her that, it felt right to hear it. Her mind kept returning to the same question. Who was it that had said that?
In the silence that filled the office Lee watched as she stared at her coffee. Something had bothered her and he wondered what it was. He knew he couldn't pry, not yet it was still too early, but he wanted desperately to know. He craved the information as much as he craved to touch her, his fingers twitching to stroke her soft brown hair. Clamping his hands together Lee tried to focus himself on the report in front of him but it was no use.
"Do you want to get out of here?" he said suddenly. Lifting his gaze back to Amanda he repeated himself when he saw the questions in her eyes. "I could go for a walk."
"Yeah," she agreed. "I'm feeling better and could really use some fresh air."
Getting up carefully, to make sure the dizziness really was gone, she headed toward the door, going through when he motioned for her to go first. Walking back down the hallway they stood in front of the elevator and waited for it to get to their level.
'Not exactly.'
Startled she glanced around. Who had said that? Frowning she tried to understand what it meant. Not exactly. Not exactly what?
"Are you okay?"
Glancing up at Lee sharply she nodded. "I'm fine, it's just..." she shook her head in confusion. "It's nothing I can't handle."
The elevator arrived and the climbed aboard, pushing the coats to the side so they had room to stand. Soon they were out in the fresh air and both breathed deeply, taking in the fresh air to try and expel what didn't belong. Motioning to a park across the way Lee led her toward it, supporting the small of her back by instinct as they crossed the street. It didn't occur to her to mind his forwardness, surprised at the feeling of content when she felt the warmth of his hand through her shirt.
Side by side they walked through the park, a leisurely pace, neither one speaking. Content to simply walk in silence. As they neared a fountain she stopped and looked into it to see the coins sitting on the bottom. "Penny for your thoughts?" Lee smiled.
She couldn't stop her smile in return. "Just wondering how many memories this fountain would buy me if they really were a penny."
"It's been hard," he said. It wasn't a question.
"Yes," she nodded. "Going through life was relatively easy when I'm able to keep active. Then, when there's nothing to do, is when it gets difficult. What are my hobbies? What did I do with my free time? I have no idea."
"You must have found that you like to read," motioning for her to sit down on a nearby bench. "You seem to carry that book with you wherever you go."
Looking down at the book in her hands she shrugged. "I've had this one for a while now. I picked it up after getting out of the hospital way back when."
"What made you get it?" Lee asked.
"I'm not sure. I was walking in the mall and saw an antique bookshop. I went in and found this on a back shelf. It seemed interesting so I got it. Impulse buy I guess."
He nodded. There hadn't been a memory specifically but at the same time she wasn't sure exactly what it was that had made her get it.
"You think it's because of you."
Her words had been spoken softly but Lee flinched. "I had hoped," he said honestly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Something in her wanted, wished that it had been an unconscious attempt to remember him.
Lee shook his head. "You've got nothing to be sorry for."
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'Oh my gosh!'
Jumping in her skin with surprise she frowned. That had sounded like her voice.
"Are you so bored that you have to amuse yourself?" Winter asked with a glare. Setting his cup down he reached for some napkins to wipe up the coffee that had spilled when she had jumped, knocking his arm with her elbow.
"Sorry, Winter," she apologized.
"Just warn me next time."
"I'll warn you when I get warned," she scoffed. Seeing the strange look from him she shook her head, waving it off. "Never mind."
"Sorry I'm late," Dr McJohn apologized as he hurried into the conference room. "Minor medical emergency." Sitting down he looked around, surprised at the size of the group. In addition to Amanda and Lee, Winter, Francine, and Billy were there as well. "Shall we begin?"
"What are we going to do?" she asked, wondering just what the doctor had in mind.
"I thought we would start with some basic word association. I'll say a word and you say of the first thing that pops into your head."
Nodding she waited for him to begin.
"Life."
"Alive."
Writing her response down on a small pad he kept going.
"Pain."
"Wound."
"Love."
"Family."
Several more times they went back and forth until she was shocked at the answers she was giving.
"Fire."
"Warehouse."
Lee glanced at Billy before turning his attention back to Amanda.
"Bomb."
"Trigger."
"Enemy."
"Adi Birol."
"Death."
"Preferable."
McJohn stopped in shock. "Preferable?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It just popped into my head."
Making a notation on his pad he kept going. "IFF."
"Lying."
"Scarecrow."
"Needs a heart."
Winter shook his head. "Will you ever drop that?"
"Drop what?" Francine asked.
"We are always having this argument. BR insists that the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz had a brain and he needed a heart."
"The book is wrong," she defended her opinion.
"How can the book be wrong?"
"I don't know, it just is."
'He created the Oz Network.'
Closing her eyes she frowned. "What was the Oz Network?" she asked after a moment.
"What do you mean?" Billy asked. "Are you remembering something?"
"I'm not sure. Someone told me that he created the Oz Network."
"Who created the Oz Network?" Lee prompted.
"I don't know." She sighed with frustration. "All I'm getting are random expressions. 'Not exactly', 'Oh my gosh', 'Stay in the car'. They don't make any sense."
"It sounds like you're trying to remember some things. Were there any others?" She shook her head. "All right. Let's see if we can't prompt something to come back." Reaching into his folder he brought out a picture and handed it to her. "Study this and tell us what comes to your mind."
Looking at the picture she frowned when she saw a picture of an abandoned warehouse. The building was empty, dust settled on the floor she could see footprints going off into the distance toward the far wall but never returning. On the ground sat a device that looked like a bomb and she wondered...
'Stay here Amanda, I'll be right back.'
'Alright, Lee. Be careful.'
Taking in a sharp breath she looked up at Lee. "You went out to do something and I stayed behind."
He nodded. "I had to go make a report and give out some orders to the ones that were waiting. You stayed in the warehouse to supervise the bomb squad."
Black jackets, bold white lettering printed across them, turned to face her with guns drawn.
"There was no bomb squad," she said, shaking her head. "They had guns."
'I hate guns.'
"I checked them out when they came. Their id's were in good order."
Billy looked at Lee; he could see the frustration. When it had dawned on him that it was the 'bomb squad' that had done this his fist had clenched on top of the table, his temple pulsing with anger.
'The password is checkbook, Mrs. Martsen.'
"If they were the ones that had taken Amanda whose bodies were found in the fire?"
'We can't build a fire, Amanda, it could be seen. Come here, we can share body heat to keep warm.'
Pain pounded in her head, increasing with each sporadic memory that came to her until she put her head in her hands, a small whimper of pain escaping from her lips before she could catch it.
"BR?"
"Amanda?"
Both men spoke at once, each one concerned at the whimper they had heard, the obvious pain they could see. Reaching out Lee touched her knee gently. "Amanda, take a rest. Let McJohn give you some pain medicine and we'll pick this up again later."
Unable to do anything more than nod she let them lead her back to the room she was staying in, falling into the bed. The prick of the needle barely registered before blackness settled in around her, the world seeming farther away with every passing second.
"Will she be okay?" Lee asked. Worry dripped from his words like a leaky faucet, unable to ignore.
"I think she'll be fine. I'll need to monitor her closely but I believe it's just a headache. It's a side effect of the drug."
"Keep me informed," Lee demanded. With a clenched fist he left the room, struggling not to hit something. She was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it.
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