Chapter Five

Sitting on the couch, a cup of tea held in her slightly trembling hands, she looked around at the living room. The pictures on the wall and above the mantle held her attention. Dotty, busy preparing some food in the kitchen, was out of sight so she stood and moved to look at the pictures. She saw herself with two boys, one n either side of her, smiling back at the camera. 'My sons?' she thought to herself. The boys were prominent on the wall, their pictures appearing more often than any of the others did as they grew up through the years.

Looking at the mantle she stopped still, her breath caught in her throat. A larger picture stood at one end and she saw herself in a simple white suit standing side by side with him, Lee, Scarecrow, their hands clasped together smiling the brightest smile she had ever seen. Looking closely at their hands she saw golden rings adorning their left hands and she gasped.

"Married?" she exclaimed.

"Five years ago."

Turning she saw Dolly entering the room, a tray filled with food in her hands that she quickly set down on the table.

"When you disappeared Lee came forward and told us the truth."

"Truth?"

"That you had been married for two years in secret because your jobs were so dangerous. I must say I was quite surprised. Of course then I realized that you had been telling me the truth all those years ago and I just knew..."

'I'm a spy, mother.'

The dull ache sprang to life again and she rubbed her temple, trying to listen to Dotty, her mother, as she spoke.

"Are you all right?" she asked, putting a gentle hand on her knee. "You don't look well at all."

"It's just a headache. Please tell me more. Who are those boys? Are they mine?"

Dotty nodded. "The older one is Phillip, the younger is Jaime. They were from your first marriage to Joe."

"You mean Lee?" she replied, looking up at the picture on the mantle. They looked so happy.

"No, Joe was your first husband. You divorced a few years before you met Lee."

Still rubbing her temple she got to her feet and approached the mantle again. Next to the wedding picture was another one, of Lee standing behind a grill, Phillip laughing at him while Dotty's face was filled with a mixture of horror and humor at the large wet stain down the front of Lee's shirt, an empty glass in Phillips hands.

"Did I love him?"

"Joe?"

"No, Lee."

Dotty smiled. "I've never seen you happier than when you were spending time with Lee."

In spite of her confusion she smiled. "Tell me what he's like."

"Lee is... he's Lee. He seems so strong all the time but every now and then I can see through a small crack in his armor and see how truly scared he really is. The boys love him dearly. It was hard at first; he just kind of jumped right in after you... disappeared. After a while though the boys warmed up to him. Phillip first of course but Jaime fell under his charm too. Lee wouldn't give up on him."

"And you? Do you like him?"

Dotty laughed. "He is a charmer if I ever met one. The things he manages to get away with amaze me. But I can tell he needs to be here, he wants to be here, as a part of our family."

Looking around the room one more time she returned to her seat on the couch. "What about me?"

"He loves you," she said. Gently taking her hands Dotty held them in her own. "There is no doubt in my mind about that. I can see it in everything he does. Lee holds you in his heart and even when we thought you were dead he still talked to you as though you were here with him."

She felt tears pricking at her eyes again. "I wish I could remember."

"All in time, sweetheart," Dotty said. Wrapping her arms around her daughter she rubbed her back. "All in time."

SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK

Standing in the room, dark except for a shaft of sunlight beaming in through the window, he watched her as she slept. By the time Dotty had called him he had been at his wits ends trying to find her. Cringing as he remembered how sharply he had answered the phone, all but yelling at his mother in law, Lee hoped the flowers he had brought home were apology enough. His eyes traced the outline of her face as she lay sleeping in the bed they had never been able to share.

The thought of it caused his body to ache with a need he hadn't felt in years. The need to hold her, to feel her hands on his arms as she hugged him or comforted him. The simple and yet driving need to simply hold her in his arms the way he had been denied for three years. Forcing himself to stay where he was, allowing himself to only watch her, Lee stared with unblinking eyes at his wife, his lover, his life, and his heart.

Heart.

He thought back to the notes he had seen in her copy of The Wizard of Oz. She had been insistent that the Scarecrow had a brain and that he had needed a heart. Lee smiled a small grin. She was right. He'd had a brain but it wasn't until he'd been forced to work with Amanda that he had found his heart.

The lump under the covers stirred and he waited to see if she was waking or simply turning over in her sleep. After a moment he saw her eyes open and adjust to the lack of light in the room.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked, her voice rough with sleep.

"A few hours," he replied. "Dotty called me to let me know you were safe."

"I never was any good at staying in the car," she said. "That much I can remember."

Out of sheer relief Lee laughed and it sounded good to her ears. Sitting up she made room for him on the bed and motioned for him to come closer. When he was sitting near her she looked at his face for a long time, silence filling the room as she examined him.

"Tell me about us," she asked. "Not our cases but our partnership, our relationship. What were 'we' like?"

Watching her for a moment he thought about her question before he spoke.

"We were good. We were the best," he replied. "Not in the beginning of course. In the beginning I wanted nothing to do with you. I thought you were just some nutty housewife that was caught up in the wrong stuff. But Billy kept forcing us together and after a while I started to care. You refused to give up on me, no matter what I did or how many times I hurt you."

Taking her hand in his he looked at her, his eyes filled with pain, hope, love and despair all swirling together in his hazel orbs.

"I kept forcing myself to keep you at arms length but I couldn't. You were everything to me and when I finally admitted it I was scared to death that you wouldn't feel the same way. We had so many near misses, almost kisses, until we finally locked the door and kept the world at bay long enough to kiss for the first real time."

"Why did we keep our marriage a secret?" she asked.

Lee explained what had happened and she nodded. It was a good reason. Silence fell for a few minutes as she digested all the information he had given her.

"It's strange," she said after a moment. "Some of the things I'm hearing seem familiar but I cant. It's like a puzzle piece that slightly too large for the hole. If you push hard enough you can make it fit but it doesn't fit right."

"How can I help?" Lee asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "I wish you could but I really don't know if you can. But doing what you've been doing, telling me things, answering my questions, it helps a little. Sometimes it will spark a memory that feels right. It's confusing because they're so scattered but it's right, I can feel it."

Looking up at him she could see the emotions roiling around in his eyes.

"Just be patient with me, okay?"

SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK

"Boy's, dinner's ready!" Lee called up the stairs.

Turning back towards the table he looked at Amanda sitting at the head of it. It had been her decision to join them for dinner. He had tried to warn her about the boys but she only smiled at him. 'I can't stay away forever, right?' she'd said. Thunderous movements could be heard from the second floor and soon he heard them running down the stairs to get to the first floor, their teenage stomachs rushing them to be fed.

Both boys stopped suddenly when they saw her sitting at the head of the table, their eyes wide. Jaime, having already seen her at the agency, recovered first and moved closer, holding out his hand to her.

"Hi," he said. "I'm Jaime."

"Hi Jaime," she replied. "It's okay if you want to hug," she said, surprised by the offer.

A smile split his face and he leaned in, hugging her tightly. "I missed you, Mom," he whispered.

Stepping aside he let Phillip approach, the older brother taking slow steps as he tried to force his mind around the fact that his mother, his risen from the dead mother, was sitting in the dining room. Seeing her smile at him his trance was broken and he hurried forward, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing tightly.

"Mom," he whispered, his voice choked by tears.

She could feel tears stinging at her eyes again and, looking at the other three, she knew she wasn't the only one. Dotty wiped her tears away with a tissue while both Lee and Jaime fought to keep theirs at bay. After a few moments he pulled away, wiping at his eyes and muttering about allergies. Urging everyone to sit down Dotty served the dinner and soon they had begun to eat. The silence was deafening until she could take it no more.

"Dotty told me you had a championship game a few days ago, Phillip. Did your team win?"

"Yeah," he grinned, relieved that the silence was gone. Telling her about the game he went into such detail that the whole dinner had gone by and they were halfway through dessert before he finished his story.

Smiling at his enthusiasm she turned to face Jaime. "What about you? Do you play any sports?"

Jaime shook his head. "No, not really. I'm the school photographer though so I have to go to all the games."

'I was demonstrating the hook slide.'

Shaking her head she rubbed her temple gently. Seeing her do that, remembering the times it had happened previously, Lee realized she had remembered something, the headache increasing as she had done so. "Boy's why don't you guys clear the table and wash the dishes," he said. From his tone they knew it wasn't a question and both of them stood, taking their dishes into the kitchen. "Is the pain too much?" Lee asked softly.

"Not yet," she whispered. "I just need time to adjust."

Nodding he met Dotty's eye and she smiled. "I'll make you a nice cup of tea."

Patting her hand gently Dotty stood up and moved into the kitchen to boil some water, leaving Lee with Amanda.

"We should get you to Dr McJohn," he decided.

"No," shaking her head. "There's nothing he could do. The pain fades after a minute. I just need to give it some time."

"Are you sure?"

Looking up at him she smiled. "I'm sure."

"All right. Why don't we go sit in the living room?"

Nodding she walked to the couch and sat down with him, a respectable distance between them. "Lee, what were we doing at that warehouse?"

"We were investigating the bomb. One of my family had told me that there was a link between the bomb and our case. We had been trying to find Renetti," Lee advised.

"The terrorist," she nodded. "I've heard of him. Was he there?"

"No just the bomb was. It didn't make any sense but there wasn't time to try and figure it out. The bomb squad had already been called and when they got there I had to report in to Billy. I was outside when the bomb went off." Lee stopped, his voice choking at the memory.

'Put her in the chair.'

Closing her eyes she rubbed her temple again, the pain worse than usual.

'She's not responding, Scarecrow's trained her well.'

A small moan escaped her and she rubbed her temples harder, trying desperately to ward off the pain.

His fist flew toward her face again and again, the pain blending into one massive hurt, individual blows no longer registering in her mind. A man stood before her, his eyes hard and cold. 'Tell us what you know about Renetti,' he demanded.

'She will tell you nothing,' another man said, his voice coming from the shadows. With a quick puff on his cigar he moved into the light and she could see his face. 'If she knows anything she wouldn't tell us anyway.'

Lifting her head enough to view his face her eyes widened in shock at the man who stood before her.

'Kill her.'

Lee was worried. He'd heard the moan of pain and was reaching for the telephone when she suddenly screamed, her hands clutching her head. "Amanda!" he cried, reaching for her. Catching her in his arms Lee looked down to see that she was unconscious. Swearing under his breath he reached for the phone and called Dr. McJohn, advising the man to meet him at the hospital and make sure the NEST team was ready.

"Lee?" Phillip said, his voice filled with concern.

Looking up he saw the three of them huddled together, each face filled with worry and fear. "I have to get her to the hospital. The doctors will take good care of her."

"I'm coming with you," Jaime announced, the tone of his voice denying Lee the chance to argue the point.

"We are too," Dotty said.

Lee thought he should make them stay home but knew it wouldn't be fair. Nodding he told Phillip to start the car. Dotty and Jaime hurried out to the car with Phillip and Lee gathered Amanda in his arms. Gently kissing her forehead he whispered, "Hang in there, okay? I'm not going to lose you this close to having you back."

SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK