GO TO THE HALLWAY
You know, and I know, that I should say something funny that tells you you got there, but I don't feel like it.
INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is
USE KNOWLEDGE
It's at the small door somewhere in the third city level.
SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
LEAVE CASTLE THROUGH HALLWAY
You are now back outside. As you may recall, there is a dirt road leading east, a castle behind you, and a giant carrot sitting around inconspicuously.
WHY?
It's immobile.
WALK ALONG DIRT ROAD UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
There's the building again.
IGNORE BUILDING
I maintain this is impossible.
WALK ALONG DIRT ROAD UNTIL SOMETHING ELSE INTERESTING HAPPENS
The dirt road stops in front of the building.
LOOK AT BUILDING
Are you mad?
PARSER, I AM SPAZ.
Ok.
You stare at the building intently, and find that part of the wall, which probably isn't even in the same dimension as you, works as a magic picture. You cross your eyes slightly, and begin to see 3D images of the building flying through space. You jump back, startled, and smash into someone.
APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY
You help the someone up, saying you're sorry. The duck glares at you.
LOOK AT DUCK
The whiskered duck is standing up. He is wearing a tophat, coat, glasses and spats, and is carrying a cane.
TAKE CANE
You reach for the cane but he whacks your paw with it and runs off, muttering something about how you can't trust anyone under 50.
BECOME OVER 50
If you keep dilly-dallying like this, you will.
KEEP DILLY-DALLYING
No. It bores me.
GO IN BUILDING
Think of Amy.
DIDN'T WE DO THIS BEFORE?
You're right.
WELL?
Well what?
GO IN BUILDING
Think of Amy.
SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
WALK EAST
You walk east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.
WALK EAST
You walk east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.
WALK EAST UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
You're so hard to please.
You walk east. Suddenly, with every step you take, you move backwards, and you find this disillusioning.
HEY!
You wanted something interesting.
WALK BACKWARDS
Phooey.
You walk backwards east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.
LOOK AROUND
You are standing on top of Carrotus. There, for some reason, are lots of carrots nearby. There is also a coatrack nearby, complete with small house.
LOOK AT COATRACK
It has a coat on it. The coat has a tag saying "105% real rabbit fur"
BE OFFENSIVE
You take the coat and put it on.
LOOK AT HOUSE
The house looks back.
BLINK
The house blinks back. Or at least, you think it did. Hard to tell with your eyes closed. So you open them again.
GO TO FRONT DOOR
You leisurely walk up to the door and bid it open.
WAIT
Nothing happens.
WAIT MORE
There isn't a turn-based thing in front of the front door, just to let you know.
OPEN DOOR
You grasp the doorknob firmly, and are about to spin it around when you remember it would be more polite to knock.
BE POLITE
You knock on the door.
BE OFFENSIVE
You admire the coat.
The door opens, and you stare at a Grue.
SAVE
Your game has been saved.
EAT GRUE
You leap on the grue, which eats you.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
Your game has been restored.
LOOK AT GRUE
Oh, no you don't. I'm not telling you what they look like.
GRUE, I AM SPAZ.
The grue makes a slimy noise that sounds like "Are you the baby-sitter?"
UGH.
Yes, well..
GRUE, I AM NOT THE BABY-SITTER.
You have been eaten by a Grue.
Quit/restore?
RESTORE
Your game has been restored.
GRUE, I AM THE BABY-SITTER.
The grue beams at you. It and the resident Grue Wife hurry out the door, pressing a note into your paw.
READ NOTE
It tells you what number to call in case of an emergency.
TAKE NOTE
You store the note in your fur.
GO IN HOUSE
You walk into the house.
You are in the living room. Two baby Grues are crawling around on the floor, there is a picture of "Uncle Grueman" over the fireplace, two doors lead off into other rooms to the west and north, and the floor has lots of Grue Toys on it.
Baby Grue #1 is here.
Baby Grue #2 is here.
SAVE
Game again saved.
PICK UP GRUE TOY
You have been eaten by an indignant Grue.
Quit/restore?
SIGH. RESTORE.
Game again restored.
BABY-SIT GRUES
Not enough detail.
PLAY GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?
FETCH
You tell the Grues how to play fetch. What do you want to throw?
INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Rabbit fur coat
Note
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is
THROW SHEEP
You throw the dangerous sheep through one of the doors. Baby Grue #1 runs after it and eats it.
PLUG EARS
The sheep explodes inside Baby Grue #1, who doesn't seem to notice.
THROW GUN
You throw the dangerous gun through the other door. Baby Grue #2 runs after it, picks it up, and shoots you. You have been shot by a Grue.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
Restored. You have just entered the Grue home. Incidentally, you might not want to play fetch with them.
PLAY GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?
CATCH
You tell the grues how to play catch. What do you want to throw?
THROW NO CONTENTS
You throw no contents. Baby Grue #2 catches no contents, and throws no contents to you.
CATCH NO CONTENTS
Caught.
TAKE NO CONTENTS
You stash no contents in your fur.
THIS IS BORING
You'd better do something exciting, then, if you're going to baby-sit the two Grues all the time the parents are gone.
PLAY DIFFERENT GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?
SHARE.
You teach the Grue babies how to share. What do you want to give them?
SAVE
Game saved.
SHARE DANGEROUS SHEEP
You share the dangerous sheep with the Grue babies. It appears they don't like it, so they eat you.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
Of course..
SHARE DANGEROUS GUN
You share the dangerous gun with the Grue babies. It appears they don't like it, so they eat you.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
I guessed.
INVENTORY
What, again?
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Note
Rabbit fur coat
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is
SHARE NO HUNGER
You share no hunger with the Grue babies. They don't like it, but they can't eat you, being not hungry.
Now it's the Grue babies' turn to share something. They give you no brain.
TAKE NO BRAIN
Ok, you don't take a brain.
THANK GRUE BABIES
They try to eat you, but they're not hungry.
Suddenly, there is a knocking at the door.
OPEN DOOR
You walk over to the door, and open it. On the other side stands a Grue, though not one you know.
GRUE, WHO ARE YOU, MAN?
It glares at you. "I'm the baby-sitter. Who are You?"
GRUE, I AM SPAZ.
The Grue stares. "THE Spaz? The Spaz wanted to be eaten in 51 states?"
GRUE, NO.
"Oh." However, the Grue still looks rather hungry, and you begin to fear for your life.
GIVE NO HUNGER TO GRUE
You force no hunger down the Grue's throat. It is now incapable of eating you. Good job.
GRUE, YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED.
It walks away in a huff. You turn back to the Grue babies.
It's your turn to share something.
TELL THEM A STORY
Which one?
TOEJAM TALES
Good choice!
You sit down with the Grue babies, now safe as they have no hunger. You begin reciting the whole of Toejam Tales, which you apparently memorized without noticing.
When you are done, they give you a red key.
TAKE RED KEY
You stash the red key in your fur somewhere.
About then, the Grue Parents get back. The time really flew, didn't it?
GRUE PARENTS, HI.
They thank you and hand you 50 Carrotian Credits.
TAKE 50 CARROTIAN CREDITS
Taken. They look oddly at you when you manage to stash all 50 of them in your fur.
THANK GRUE PARENTS
You thank them and walk out the door.
Having given away your no hunger, you're feeling rather peckish.
I HAD NO IDEA HOW USEFUL NO HUNGER WAS.
Well, now you do!
You know, and I know, that I should say something funny that tells you you got there, but I don't feel like it.
INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is
USE KNOWLEDGE
It's at the small door somewhere in the third city level.
SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
LEAVE CASTLE THROUGH HALLWAY
You are now back outside. As you may recall, there is a dirt road leading east, a castle behind you, and a giant carrot sitting around inconspicuously.
WHY?
It's immobile.
WALK ALONG DIRT ROAD UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
There's the building again.
IGNORE BUILDING
I maintain this is impossible.
WALK ALONG DIRT ROAD UNTIL SOMETHING ELSE INTERESTING HAPPENS
The dirt road stops in front of the building.
LOOK AT BUILDING
Are you mad?
PARSER, I AM SPAZ.
Ok.
You stare at the building intently, and find that part of the wall, which probably isn't even in the same dimension as you, works as a magic picture. You cross your eyes slightly, and begin to see 3D images of the building flying through space. You jump back, startled, and smash into someone.
APOLOGIZE PROFUSELY
You help the someone up, saying you're sorry. The duck glares at you.
LOOK AT DUCK
The whiskered duck is standing up. He is wearing a tophat, coat, glasses and spats, and is carrying a cane.
TAKE CANE
You reach for the cane but he whacks your paw with it and runs off, muttering something about how you can't trust anyone under 50.
BECOME OVER 50
If you keep dilly-dallying like this, you will.
KEEP DILLY-DALLYING
No. It bores me.
GO IN BUILDING
Think of Amy.
DIDN'T WE DO THIS BEFORE?
You're right.
WELL?
Well what?
GO IN BUILDING
Think of Amy.
SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
WALK EAST
You walk east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.
WALK EAST
You walk east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.
WALK EAST UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
You're so hard to please.
You walk east. Suddenly, with every step you take, you move backwards, and you find this disillusioning.
HEY!
You wanted something interesting.
WALK BACKWARDS
Phooey.
You walk backwards east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.
LOOK AROUND
You are standing on top of Carrotus. There, for some reason, are lots of carrots nearby. There is also a coatrack nearby, complete with small house.
LOOK AT COATRACK
It has a coat on it. The coat has a tag saying "105% real rabbit fur"
BE OFFENSIVE
You take the coat and put it on.
LOOK AT HOUSE
The house looks back.
BLINK
The house blinks back. Or at least, you think it did. Hard to tell with your eyes closed. So you open them again.
GO TO FRONT DOOR
You leisurely walk up to the door and bid it open.
WAIT
Nothing happens.
WAIT MORE
There isn't a turn-based thing in front of the front door, just to let you know.
OPEN DOOR
You grasp the doorknob firmly, and are about to spin it around when you remember it would be more polite to knock.
BE POLITE
You knock on the door.
BE OFFENSIVE
You admire the coat.
The door opens, and you stare at a Grue.
SAVE
Your game has been saved.
EAT GRUE
You leap on the grue, which eats you.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
Your game has been restored.
LOOK AT GRUE
Oh, no you don't. I'm not telling you what they look like.
GRUE, I AM SPAZ.
The grue makes a slimy noise that sounds like "Are you the baby-sitter?"
UGH.
Yes, well..
GRUE, I AM NOT THE BABY-SITTER.
You have been eaten by a Grue.
Quit/restore?
RESTORE
Your game has been restored.
GRUE, I AM THE BABY-SITTER.
The grue beams at you. It and the resident Grue Wife hurry out the door, pressing a note into your paw.
READ NOTE
It tells you what number to call in case of an emergency.
TAKE NOTE
You store the note in your fur.
GO IN HOUSE
You walk into the house.
You are in the living room. Two baby Grues are crawling around on the floor, there is a picture of "Uncle Grueman" over the fireplace, two doors lead off into other rooms to the west and north, and the floor has lots of Grue Toys on it.
Baby Grue #1 is here.
Baby Grue #2 is here.
SAVE
Game again saved.
PICK UP GRUE TOY
You have been eaten by an indignant Grue.
Quit/restore?
SIGH. RESTORE.
Game again restored.
BABY-SIT GRUES
Not enough detail.
PLAY GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?
FETCH
You tell the Grues how to play fetch. What do you want to throw?
INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Rabbit fur coat
Note
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is
THROW SHEEP
You throw the dangerous sheep through one of the doors. Baby Grue #1 runs after it and eats it.
PLUG EARS
The sheep explodes inside Baby Grue #1, who doesn't seem to notice.
THROW GUN
You throw the dangerous gun through the other door. Baby Grue #2 runs after it, picks it up, and shoots you. You have been shot by a Grue.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
Restored. You have just entered the Grue home. Incidentally, you might not want to play fetch with them.
PLAY GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?
CATCH
You tell the grues how to play catch. What do you want to throw?
THROW NO CONTENTS
You throw no contents. Baby Grue #2 catches no contents, and throws no contents to you.
CATCH NO CONTENTS
Caught.
TAKE NO CONTENTS
You stash no contents in your fur.
THIS IS BORING
You'd better do something exciting, then, if you're going to baby-sit the two Grues all the time the parents are gone.
PLAY DIFFERENT GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?
SHARE.
You teach the Grue babies how to share. What do you want to give them?
SAVE
Game saved.
SHARE DANGEROUS SHEEP
You share the dangerous sheep with the Grue babies. It appears they don't like it, so they eat you.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
Of course..
SHARE DANGEROUS GUN
You share the dangerous gun with the Grue babies. It appears they don't like it, so they eat you.
Quit/Restore?
RESTORE
I guessed.
INVENTORY
What, again?
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Note
Rabbit fur coat
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is
SHARE NO HUNGER
You share no hunger with the Grue babies. They don't like it, but they can't eat you, being not hungry.
Now it's the Grue babies' turn to share something. They give you no brain.
TAKE NO BRAIN
Ok, you don't take a brain.
THANK GRUE BABIES
They try to eat you, but they're not hungry.
Suddenly, there is a knocking at the door.
OPEN DOOR
You walk over to the door, and open it. On the other side stands a Grue, though not one you know.
GRUE, WHO ARE YOU, MAN?
It glares at you. "I'm the baby-sitter. Who are You?"
GRUE, I AM SPAZ.
The Grue stares. "THE Spaz? The Spaz wanted to be eaten in 51 states?"
GRUE, NO.
"Oh." However, the Grue still looks rather hungry, and you begin to fear for your life.
GIVE NO HUNGER TO GRUE
You force no hunger down the Grue's throat. It is now incapable of eating you. Good job.
GRUE, YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED.
It walks away in a huff. You turn back to the Grue babies.
It's your turn to share something.
TELL THEM A STORY
Which one?
TOEJAM TALES
Good choice!
You sit down with the Grue babies, now safe as they have no hunger. You begin reciting the whole of Toejam Tales, which you apparently memorized without noticing.
When you are done, they give you a red key.
TAKE RED KEY
You stash the red key in your fur somewhere.
About then, the Grue Parents get back. The time really flew, didn't it?
GRUE PARENTS, HI.
They thank you and hand you 50 Carrotian Credits.
TAKE 50 CARROTIAN CREDITS
Taken. They look oddly at you when you manage to stash all 50 of them in your fur.
THANK GRUE PARENTS
You thank them and walk out the door.
Having given away your no hunger, you're feeling rather peckish.
I HAD NO IDEA HOW USEFUL NO HUNGER WAS.
Well, now you do!