Chapter Nine
Lying down on the bench seat of the plane as it flew over the Atlantic Ocean Amanda was sound asleep, unaware of the scrutiny of the man whose lap she was using as a pillow.
Lee watched her sleep and it took all he had in him not to let the tears in his eyes flow freely. Closing his eyes for a moment he could still see her, the fear and the pain in her eyes as she had stood between the good guys and the bad guys. His heart had frozen when they had begun to fire at her and he could hear himself yelling at her to get down. Lee had been shocked when she hadn't gotten down but had instead turned and run towards them.
Then the moment he'd dreamed of for the last three years had finally happened.
Amanda was in his arms.
Reaching down with a free hand he brush an imaginary lock of hair away from her face, any excuse to touch her, to remind himself that she was really here, safe and sound, and on her way home. Lee couldn't convince himself that it was okay to fall asleep, too scared that he would wake up and discover it had all been a dream, that she was still dead and he was still talking to her, to himself. But exhaustion pulled him away from consciousness and soon his head was tilted to the side, asleep.
Sitting across the way Francine watched them silently. Three years. It had been three long hard years since that warehouse fire. Now, seeing them together again, Francine wondered if Amanda would choose to come back to the agency, she wondered if Lee would let her, or if she would stay with the civilian group. Or, as foreign as the thought had once been to her she was shocked that she thought of it now, would Amanda choose to simply stay at home with her mother and her sons? Would she choose to return to the life of a housewife?
Shaking her head she looked back down at the paperwork in her hands, finishing the report while the information was fresh in her mind.
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When the announcement was made that the plane would be landing at Dulles Lee woke, amazed that he had slept the whole way back. Glancing briefly up to Francine he saw that she was gathering her things to disembark. Lowering his gaze to Amanda Lee smiled when he saw that she was still sleeping. The poor woman was exhausted and as much as he hated to wake her up he knew he had to.
"Manda," he called, softly. "Amanda, wake up sweetheart."
"Hmmm, Lee," she moaned in her sleep. Slowly her eyes flickered open and she blinked at the sudden brightness of the lights overhead. Seeing him watching her intently she smiled, a tear springing into her eye as she reached up to gently stroke his face. "Hey there big fella," she whispered.
"Hey yourself," he smiled back, neither of them aware that they had caught the attention of everyone on the plane. "It's time to wake up, we're almost home."
"Home," she breathed. "Home is good."
Helping her to sit up Lee gathered his jacket that had fallen to the floor while they slept and wrapped it around her shoulders again. When the plane landed he lifted her up into his arms and carried her out to the waiting wheelchair so she wouldn't have to use her injured leg anymore than she already had. Down the ramp to the waiting car Lee wouldn't let anyone else near her, keeping Amanda by his side and tucked away in safety.
As the car pulled away she looked up at him. "Lee, I want to see my family."
"I'll have them brought to the hospital, Amanda. You need to see a doctor."
"But..."
"No arguing," he said firmly. "You were in a coma, you've got scrapes and bruises and who knows what else all over you, and you hurt your leg. Doctor first."
"Yes, Sir," she smiled softly, relaxing into his side again. After a moment of silence he heard her whisper. "I love you, Lee."
His throat constricted and Lee closed his eyes against the burning sensation that filled them. "I love you too."
Hugging her tighter to his side Lee leaned his head down and rested it on the top of her head, silent as they rode to the hospital. Forced to leave her side while the doctor's examined her Lee had resigned himself to pacing the hallway. When he had completed his thirty-eighth lap he heard Dotty's voice from around the corner. Seconds later he was surrounded, Phillip and Dotty tossing questions at him like a juggler juggling pins.
Off to the side, listening but keeping silent, Jaime saw the door open and the doctor come out unnoticed. Seeing the young man watching her the doctor smiled and nodded her head, motioning for him to go on in. Smiling at her in thanks Jaime slipped into the room and saw his mother lying on the bed with her eyes closed. The shutting door made a small noise and she stirred, opening her eyes. Jaime watched, waiting for some sign of recognition before he approached.
"Jaime," she smiled, a tear falling from her eyes. Sitting up she swung her legs off the side of the bed and held her arms out to him. "Come here, Sweetheart."
"Mom," he choked out, moving into her embrace. Tears fell from his eyes as he hugged her tightly. "Mom," he sobbed, unable to repress the pain and joy that had been building during the last few weeks.
Holding her son tightly Amanda heard the door open and looked up to see the rest of her family gathered in the door. Reaching out with one of her arms she smiled wetly at Phillip and the young man joined his brother in her arms, tears falling from every eye in the room. After some time, unable to stay away any longer, Dotty moved forward and placed a gentle hand on her daughter hair.
"Mother," Amanda whispered, locking eyes with the older woman.
Hearing her Jaime and Phillip backed away so Dotty could take their place. While mother and daughter held each other Lee reached out and put an arm around each of the boys. The family was finally together. They were finally a real and true family.
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Sitting in her chair, a small throbbing pain beginning in her ankle again, Amanda faced Billy. Lee, being too close to the situation, had been forced wait in his office while Billy debriefed his wife. Knowing it would be the only way to let them get through the debriefing without interruption Billy had agreed to let the conversation be monitored while it was recorded, Lee listening in while he sat in his office. Francine had insisted on sitting in on it as well and the pair of old friends sat in the office listening as the door opened.
Billy took a moment to hug Amanda when they met in the debriefing room, wanting to let her know that he had missed her just as much, if not more, than the rest of their co-workers. After they had sat down, a glass of water before each other, Amanda began her story.
"I'm really not sure where to begin, Sir," she said, eyeing the tape recorder. "I suppose I should begin where Lee probably left off. After he left the warehouse I was left alone with the bomb squad to make sure everything went okay. Only after Lee was gone one of the men suddenly stood up and pointed a gun at me. I couldn't see his face, his mask was in the way, but he started telling the others to get busy and do the job. One of the men put a pair of handcuffs on me and led me out of the building but I could see them dragging bodies toward the bomb. Whoever those people were they were already dead."
"They put a hood over my head and led me out to a vehicle, I'm pretty sure it was a van since I heard a door slide open. I don't really remember anything after that, I'm assuming they drugged me or something because the next thing I remember was waking up tied to a chair. The room was pitch black; I couldn't see anything. I sat there for a long time before I could hear some noises coming from somewhere outside the room."
Pausing she took a deep breath to steady herself and Lee knew something bad had happened to her at that point in history.
"I still didn't see anything, the darkness never went away, but suddenly I knew I wasn't alone in the room. There was someone else in there with me. There was no warning, he just... started..."
Amanda stopped again, surprised at the emotion that was roiling to the surface. It almost made her wish for the good old days when she couldn't remember what they had done to her.
"I'm sorry sir," she whispered thickly, her voice choked out by the emotion in it.
"It's all right, Amanda. Take your time," Billy soothed, handing her a tissue.
"He started hitting me," she continued in a soft voice. "There were no questions, no demands. I think he was probably trying to break me before he bothered to ask anything." Pausing for a moment she thought over what had happened next to make sure she had it right. "When he was done he left me alone for a long time. I don't know how long exactly but when he came back there was another person with him; they wanted to know what we knew about Renetti. For a long time they kept asking questions and hitting me when I didn't answer. I kept blacking out, the pain... it was pretty bad."
Amanda paused again and Billy didn't press her to continue, wondering if it had been such a good idea to let Lee listen in.
In the office, Amanda's words ringing in his ears, Lee stared at his son standing in the doorway to his office, the door handle still in his hand, photo's ready to be viewed in his other hand. His eyes were wide; the words his mother had just said echoing in his mind like a bell tolling in the distance.
"Jaime," Lee began, getting up to make him leave.
"No."
"No what?"
"No, I'm not going to leave."
"Jaime," Lee tried again. "You don't need to hear this."
Looking at Lee, the son a hair taller than the father, Jaime met Lee's gaze with a fiery one of his own. "This is my mother, Lee. I need to know what that bastard did to her."
Seeing Amanda's stubborn insistence in his eyes Lee relented, much to the shock of Francine, and motioned for him to have a seat. Jaime sat behind Lee's desk as Lee shut the door again, this time locking it before he reclaimed his seat on the couch. Reaching out he squeezed Jaime's shoulder for a moment before turning his attention back to Amanda's voice.
"... after a while. I don't know how long it lasted but when I came to I was alone. I managed to work on the ropes that tied me to the chair, it was difficult, not as easy since I hadn't had a chance to flex my arms while they were tying me up, I was unconscious after all."
Billy couldn't stop the small grin that tugged at his mouth. There was the 'Amanda-ramble' they all knew and loved.
"Well when I finally got my hands free I untied my feet and stood up. It was difficult but I managed to walk forward until I hit the wall. I followed the wall all around the room until I found the doorway; it was a pretty small room. There was a large curtain in front of it to block the light. I listened for a while to see if I could hear anything. When I didn't hear anything I tried to open the door. The hallway was empty and I moved as quickly as I could toward the end of the hallway."
Pausing for a moment she frowned. "Come to think of it the hallway was the same one that I was just in. It was the same complex. I even escaped the same way. Out the window onto a roof and then down the drainpipe into the back of a truck. Only the first time the truck was in an accident. That was how I ended up in the hospital. They assumed that all the injuries were from the accident and when I woke up without a memory I had nothing else to go by except what they told me."
"What happened after you left the hospital?" Billy asked.
"I found a job in Italy working for an old man as a secretary but I didn't speak the language so that didn't last too long. Italy just didn't feel right anyway so I went to England. It was a little better but still it just wasn't right. That was when I ended up in France. It wasn't right either but I was sick of traveling by then. I settled down long enough to learn the language and get a job. After a while I ended up leaving with Winter and the others and came here to America. Queen offered me a job as one of her agents and I took it. It felt right. I didn't know why but it did. I was good at it too. I seemed to pick up the skills naturally, no one knew why but Queen was pleased nonetheless."
Nodding his head Billy spoke. "Winter has filled us in on the rest. Queen authorized him to give us the files on your missions."
"All of them?" Amanda asked, worry in her voice.
"I believe so, yes."
"Has Lee seen them, Sir?"
"I don't think he's had the chance. We got the files just after he left for Italy. Is there something wrong with him seeing them?"
Amanda was quiet and Lee wondered what mission it was that she was worried about. No, he hadn't had a chance to see the files yet; they were on his desk, waiting.
"There was one, about a year into my new life. I'm not too proud of that mission Sir, I wasn't back then but especially now that I remember everything."
"What happened Amanda?" he asked, unable to recall which mission she was talking about.
Amanda's face was flushed and she studied her nails as she answered him. "It was a peacock dance, Sir."
Lee closed his eyes, his heart suddenly heavy. A Peacock Dance. Against his will his imagination began to picture how far she'd had to go, what she'd had to do. His mind argued with his heart. 'She didn't remember anything, it was just a mission, I've done hundreds of them myself,' his head argued. 'But she slept with another man,' his heart replied in pain.
"How far did you have to go?" Billy asked. He suddenly remembered that Lee was listening in and wished he could retract that question, hoping Lee would be able to control himself, or if he couldn't, 'At least let Francine calm him down enough to not cause Amanda any more pain,' he prayed silently.
"Not all the way, but far enough to feel ashamed and dirty," she whispered.
Lee slumped back into his seat, relief coursing through him. Right behind it swept a strong desire to comfort Amanda and it took all he had in him to not get up from his seat.
"Lee, what's a peacock dance?"
Frozen in his tracks he scrambled for something to tell Jaime. He refused to tell him what his mother had done, no child ever needed to know that, but he didn't want to lie to him either. Thankfully Francine saved him the trouble.
"It's a term used when an agent has to pretend to be dating a person they are covering for a mission."
Jaime nodded. "Oh."
In the small room Billy took Amanda's hands in his. "It's okay, Amanda. You didn't do anything wrong. This nightmare is over and it's time to put it behind you. You're home, you're safe, and there is nothing else you need to worry about."
'She will tell you nothing,' another man said, his voice coming from the shadows. With a quick flash of a lit match to light his cigar his face appeared in the low light and she could see his face. 'If she knows anything she wouldn't tell us anyway.'
Lifting her head enough to view his face her eyes widened in shock at the man who stood before her.
'Kill her.'
With a small cry of pain Amanda put her head in her hands. "Oh my gosh!"
"Amanda?" Billy asked, worriedly. "What's wrong?"
After a moment, rubbing her temples to try and ward off the headache, she looked up at Billy. "I know who he is."
"Who?"
"Renetti!"
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Lying down on the bench seat of the plane as it flew over the Atlantic Ocean Amanda was sound asleep, unaware of the scrutiny of the man whose lap she was using as a pillow.
Lee watched her sleep and it took all he had in him not to let the tears in his eyes flow freely. Closing his eyes for a moment he could still see her, the fear and the pain in her eyes as she had stood between the good guys and the bad guys. His heart had frozen when they had begun to fire at her and he could hear himself yelling at her to get down. Lee had been shocked when she hadn't gotten down but had instead turned and run towards them.
Then the moment he'd dreamed of for the last three years had finally happened.
Amanda was in his arms.
Reaching down with a free hand he brush an imaginary lock of hair away from her face, any excuse to touch her, to remind himself that she was really here, safe and sound, and on her way home. Lee couldn't convince himself that it was okay to fall asleep, too scared that he would wake up and discover it had all been a dream, that she was still dead and he was still talking to her, to himself. But exhaustion pulled him away from consciousness and soon his head was tilted to the side, asleep.
Sitting across the way Francine watched them silently. Three years. It had been three long hard years since that warehouse fire. Now, seeing them together again, Francine wondered if Amanda would choose to come back to the agency, she wondered if Lee would let her, or if she would stay with the civilian group. Or, as foreign as the thought had once been to her she was shocked that she thought of it now, would Amanda choose to simply stay at home with her mother and her sons? Would she choose to return to the life of a housewife?
Shaking her head she looked back down at the paperwork in her hands, finishing the report while the information was fresh in her mind.
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When the announcement was made that the plane would be landing at Dulles Lee woke, amazed that he had slept the whole way back. Glancing briefly up to Francine he saw that she was gathering her things to disembark. Lowering his gaze to Amanda Lee smiled when he saw that she was still sleeping. The poor woman was exhausted and as much as he hated to wake her up he knew he had to.
"Manda," he called, softly. "Amanda, wake up sweetheart."
"Hmmm, Lee," she moaned in her sleep. Slowly her eyes flickered open and she blinked at the sudden brightness of the lights overhead. Seeing him watching her intently she smiled, a tear springing into her eye as she reached up to gently stroke his face. "Hey there big fella," she whispered.
"Hey yourself," he smiled back, neither of them aware that they had caught the attention of everyone on the plane. "It's time to wake up, we're almost home."
"Home," she breathed. "Home is good."
Helping her to sit up Lee gathered his jacket that had fallen to the floor while they slept and wrapped it around her shoulders again. When the plane landed he lifted her up into his arms and carried her out to the waiting wheelchair so she wouldn't have to use her injured leg anymore than she already had. Down the ramp to the waiting car Lee wouldn't let anyone else near her, keeping Amanda by his side and tucked away in safety.
As the car pulled away she looked up at him. "Lee, I want to see my family."
"I'll have them brought to the hospital, Amanda. You need to see a doctor."
"But..."
"No arguing," he said firmly. "You were in a coma, you've got scrapes and bruises and who knows what else all over you, and you hurt your leg. Doctor first."
"Yes, Sir," she smiled softly, relaxing into his side again. After a moment of silence he heard her whisper. "I love you, Lee."
His throat constricted and Lee closed his eyes against the burning sensation that filled them. "I love you too."
Hugging her tighter to his side Lee leaned his head down and rested it on the top of her head, silent as they rode to the hospital. Forced to leave her side while the doctor's examined her Lee had resigned himself to pacing the hallway. When he had completed his thirty-eighth lap he heard Dotty's voice from around the corner. Seconds later he was surrounded, Phillip and Dotty tossing questions at him like a juggler juggling pins.
Off to the side, listening but keeping silent, Jaime saw the door open and the doctor come out unnoticed. Seeing the young man watching her the doctor smiled and nodded her head, motioning for him to go on in. Smiling at her in thanks Jaime slipped into the room and saw his mother lying on the bed with her eyes closed. The shutting door made a small noise and she stirred, opening her eyes. Jaime watched, waiting for some sign of recognition before he approached.
"Jaime," she smiled, a tear falling from her eyes. Sitting up she swung her legs off the side of the bed and held her arms out to him. "Come here, Sweetheart."
"Mom," he choked out, moving into her embrace. Tears fell from his eyes as he hugged her tightly. "Mom," he sobbed, unable to repress the pain and joy that had been building during the last few weeks.
Holding her son tightly Amanda heard the door open and looked up to see the rest of her family gathered in the door. Reaching out with one of her arms she smiled wetly at Phillip and the young man joined his brother in her arms, tears falling from every eye in the room. After some time, unable to stay away any longer, Dotty moved forward and placed a gentle hand on her daughter hair.
"Mother," Amanda whispered, locking eyes with the older woman.
Hearing her Jaime and Phillip backed away so Dotty could take their place. While mother and daughter held each other Lee reached out and put an arm around each of the boys. The family was finally together. They were finally a real and true family.
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Sitting in her chair, a small throbbing pain beginning in her ankle again, Amanda faced Billy. Lee, being too close to the situation, had been forced wait in his office while Billy debriefed his wife. Knowing it would be the only way to let them get through the debriefing without interruption Billy had agreed to let the conversation be monitored while it was recorded, Lee listening in while he sat in his office. Francine had insisted on sitting in on it as well and the pair of old friends sat in the office listening as the door opened.
Billy took a moment to hug Amanda when they met in the debriefing room, wanting to let her know that he had missed her just as much, if not more, than the rest of their co-workers. After they had sat down, a glass of water before each other, Amanda began her story.
"I'm really not sure where to begin, Sir," she said, eyeing the tape recorder. "I suppose I should begin where Lee probably left off. After he left the warehouse I was left alone with the bomb squad to make sure everything went okay. Only after Lee was gone one of the men suddenly stood up and pointed a gun at me. I couldn't see his face, his mask was in the way, but he started telling the others to get busy and do the job. One of the men put a pair of handcuffs on me and led me out of the building but I could see them dragging bodies toward the bomb. Whoever those people were they were already dead."
"They put a hood over my head and led me out to a vehicle, I'm pretty sure it was a van since I heard a door slide open. I don't really remember anything after that, I'm assuming they drugged me or something because the next thing I remember was waking up tied to a chair. The room was pitch black; I couldn't see anything. I sat there for a long time before I could hear some noises coming from somewhere outside the room."
Pausing she took a deep breath to steady herself and Lee knew something bad had happened to her at that point in history.
"I still didn't see anything, the darkness never went away, but suddenly I knew I wasn't alone in the room. There was someone else in there with me. There was no warning, he just... started..."
Amanda stopped again, surprised at the emotion that was roiling to the surface. It almost made her wish for the good old days when she couldn't remember what they had done to her.
"I'm sorry sir," she whispered thickly, her voice choked out by the emotion in it.
"It's all right, Amanda. Take your time," Billy soothed, handing her a tissue.
"He started hitting me," she continued in a soft voice. "There were no questions, no demands. I think he was probably trying to break me before he bothered to ask anything." Pausing for a moment she thought over what had happened next to make sure she had it right. "When he was done he left me alone for a long time. I don't know how long exactly but when he came back there was another person with him; they wanted to know what we knew about Renetti. For a long time they kept asking questions and hitting me when I didn't answer. I kept blacking out, the pain... it was pretty bad."
Amanda paused again and Billy didn't press her to continue, wondering if it had been such a good idea to let Lee listen in.
In the office, Amanda's words ringing in his ears, Lee stared at his son standing in the doorway to his office, the door handle still in his hand, photo's ready to be viewed in his other hand. His eyes were wide; the words his mother had just said echoing in his mind like a bell tolling in the distance.
"Jaime," Lee began, getting up to make him leave.
"No."
"No what?"
"No, I'm not going to leave."
"Jaime," Lee tried again. "You don't need to hear this."
Looking at Lee, the son a hair taller than the father, Jaime met Lee's gaze with a fiery one of his own. "This is my mother, Lee. I need to know what that bastard did to her."
Seeing Amanda's stubborn insistence in his eyes Lee relented, much to the shock of Francine, and motioned for him to have a seat. Jaime sat behind Lee's desk as Lee shut the door again, this time locking it before he reclaimed his seat on the couch. Reaching out he squeezed Jaime's shoulder for a moment before turning his attention back to Amanda's voice.
"... after a while. I don't know how long it lasted but when I came to I was alone. I managed to work on the ropes that tied me to the chair, it was difficult, not as easy since I hadn't had a chance to flex my arms while they were tying me up, I was unconscious after all."
Billy couldn't stop the small grin that tugged at his mouth. There was the 'Amanda-ramble' they all knew and loved.
"Well when I finally got my hands free I untied my feet and stood up. It was difficult but I managed to walk forward until I hit the wall. I followed the wall all around the room until I found the doorway; it was a pretty small room. There was a large curtain in front of it to block the light. I listened for a while to see if I could hear anything. When I didn't hear anything I tried to open the door. The hallway was empty and I moved as quickly as I could toward the end of the hallway."
Pausing for a moment she frowned. "Come to think of it the hallway was the same one that I was just in. It was the same complex. I even escaped the same way. Out the window onto a roof and then down the drainpipe into the back of a truck. Only the first time the truck was in an accident. That was how I ended up in the hospital. They assumed that all the injuries were from the accident and when I woke up without a memory I had nothing else to go by except what they told me."
"What happened after you left the hospital?" Billy asked.
"I found a job in Italy working for an old man as a secretary but I didn't speak the language so that didn't last too long. Italy just didn't feel right anyway so I went to England. It was a little better but still it just wasn't right. That was when I ended up in France. It wasn't right either but I was sick of traveling by then. I settled down long enough to learn the language and get a job. After a while I ended up leaving with Winter and the others and came here to America. Queen offered me a job as one of her agents and I took it. It felt right. I didn't know why but it did. I was good at it too. I seemed to pick up the skills naturally, no one knew why but Queen was pleased nonetheless."
Nodding his head Billy spoke. "Winter has filled us in on the rest. Queen authorized him to give us the files on your missions."
"All of them?" Amanda asked, worry in her voice.
"I believe so, yes."
"Has Lee seen them, Sir?"
"I don't think he's had the chance. We got the files just after he left for Italy. Is there something wrong with him seeing them?"
Amanda was quiet and Lee wondered what mission it was that she was worried about. No, he hadn't had a chance to see the files yet; they were on his desk, waiting.
"There was one, about a year into my new life. I'm not too proud of that mission Sir, I wasn't back then but especially now that I remember everything."
"What happened Amanda?" he asked, unable to recall which mission she was talking about.
Amanda's face was flushed and she studied her nails as she answered him. "It was a peacock dance, Sir."
Lee closed his eyes, his heart suddenly heavy. A Peacock Dance. Against his will his imagination began to picture how far she'd had to go, what she'd had to do. His mind argued with his heart. 'She didn't remember anything, it was just a mission, I've done hundreds of them myself,' his head argued. 'But she slept with another man,' his heart replied in pain.
"How far did you have to go?" Billy asked. He suddenly remembered that Lee was listening in and wished he could retract that question, hoping Lee would be able to control himself, or if he couldn't, 'At least let Francine calm him down enough to not cause Amanda any more pain,' he prayed silently.
"Not all the way, but far enough to feel ashamed and dirty," she whispered.
Lee slumped back into his seat, relief coursing through him. Right behind it swept a strong desire to comfort Amanda and it took all he had in him to not get up from his seat.
"Lee, what's a peacock dance?"
Frozen in his tracks he scrambled for something to tell Jaime. He refused to tell him what his mother had done, no child ever needed to know that, but he didn't want to lie to him either. Thankfully Francine saved him the trouble.
"It's a term used when an agent has to pretend to be dating a person they are covering for a mission."
Jaime nodded. "Oh."
In the small room Billy took Amanda's hands in his. "It's okay, Amanda. You didn't do anything wrong. This nightmare is over and it's time to put it behind you. You're home, you're safe, and there is nothing else you need to worry about."
'She will tell you nothing,' another man said, his voice coming from the shadows. With a quick flash of a lit match to light his cigar his face appeared in the low light and she could see his face. 'If she knows anything she wouldn't tell us anyway.'
Lifting her head enough to view his face her eyes widened in shock at the man who stood before her.
'Kill her.'
With a small cry of pain Amanda put her head in her hands. "Oh my gosh!"
"Amanda?" Billy asked, worriedly. "What's wrong?"
After a moment, rubbing her temples to try and ward off the headache, she looked up at Billy. "I know who he is."
"Who?"
"Renetti!"
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