Author's Note: Oh my gosh it's been such a long time! I'm so
sorry; I've had this written for ages but I never remembered to write
it up! So here it is at last!
Disclaimer: You know, I don't own any of the characters nor am I making any money off them. They belong to J.K. Rowling.
Summary: Hee, I was so excited to write the summary. Well here it is. The chapter y'all have been waiting for! Peacocks, snogs, Peeping Tom's, fearless leaders, and sad confrontations to come! Read and review my friends!
That Saturday dawned bright and clear. This did not match Sirius' mood at all. He had been feeling decidedly nervous and agitated as of late. It seemed his subconscious mind had already decided to tell Remus how he felt about him, and was preparing him for the nervousness to come by laying it on slowly and thickly all day. This only served to make his conscious mind more nervous still. Or maybe he should just give in now and turn himself in to Professor Trelawney for Raving-Mad-Divination-Teacher Training. She was an expert—and he fit the first half well enough.
Luckily, James had yet to notice his best friend's growing anxiety; he was still unsuccessfully trying to court Lily Evans, employing the traditional peacock's mating dance. In other words, he was trying his hardest to impress her in every possible way with his cough prowess. And in his case, fail utterly. So, James was no problem. Sirius chuckled; his always- suave best friend could hardly remember his own name around Lily.
Sirius wondered if—IF—he ever gathered the courage to tell Remus how he felt, how he would do it. A letter? No, too impersonal. In the library? No, Remus would probably die of horror and shock Madame Pince into giving the still living—if he didn't die of embarrassment himself—Sirius a weeks' detention. Maybe Sirius could ask Remus to take a walk with him and then tell him...better than the other ideas, true, but definitely not the best. Or even close.
Even though it was only around ten, Sirius sat in the common room brooding and staring into the nonexistent fire. He purposely ignored the giggling coming from an irritating gaggle of Gryffindor girls, who were obviously and openly talking about him, dissecting his every action.
"Eek! Sarah, look! He's wearing a black shirt! Like you wore yesterday! D'you think he's hinting at anything?" One giggler exclaimed in excitement. The girl spoken to laughed nervously and made eyes at him. Sirius groaned and rolled his own eyes. He couldn't stand it anymore; he had to get out.
Sirius stood quietly and walked out, passing the girls and eliciting even more giggling. He wondered what they would do if they knew he was a pouf. Probably giggle some more. He shook his head as he stormed outside; he would never ever understand girls. And decided he really might not want to understand them when he saw James and Lily sitting near the lake. He seemed to be telling a joke, but she wasn't listening; instead, she was staring out across the water.
It didn't make any sense to Sirius. From a purely aesthetic point of view, James was...well, pretty. He had stubborn features, but they were carefully sculpted. It seemed to Sirius as if a master sculptor had spent days on just his face, molding and shaping. And his thick, unruly black hair was the finger-fantasy of every girl—and several boys—in the school. Of course, in Sirius's mind, James was nothing compared to Remus. Sirius sighed as he settled himself against the warm stone of the school, and closed his eyes.
He thought about Remus—as if he didn't all the time anyways. The other boy's face sprang instantly to mind. His beautiful, heart-wrenchingly sad golden eyes were enough to make more than half the student population melt—Sirius knew, being one of them. But coupled with his beautiful golden hair, and the way it always fell over one eye, and his delicately fragile features, he was positively angelic. Sirius decided he did more than melt. It was more like evaporating and existing in the air Remus breathed, just for the sake of being around him. He couldn't suppress a smile as he thought about Remus, and yelped in shock when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes flew open and he found a beautiful answering smile on Remus's face. The angel boy seated himself next to Sirius and tilted his head to the side, fixing his friend with an inquiring gaze.
"What are you smiling about?"
Sirius blushed. "What? Um...uh...that is...nothing."
Remus laughed, throwing his head back to expose a long pale throat. Sirius was captivated. He managed to look away before Remus sobered, and didn't dare meet his blond friend's gaze.
"Honestly, Sirius. You looked so..." Remus paused, searching for the right word. "So peaceful and happy and content and elated." He had decided to use all of the words that came to mind. Well, most of them. All but two, actually. Dead. Sexy.
"Yeah?" Now it was Sirius's turn to tilt his head at Remus. He supposed that was how he felt around Remus. Slightly—understatement of the century—horny, but he wasn't going to tell Remus that.
Remus nodded. And wondered whom his black haired friend had been thinking about. And wishing it was him.
Sirius took a deep deep breath. He had to tell Remus now. Today was Saturday; if things went badly, he should be able to avoid Remus for the rest of the weekend. He hoped. And if things went well...Sirius cackled evilly mentally. Finally, he turned to his friend, who was staring out toward the Forbidden Forest.
"Hey Rem?"
"Hm?" Remus glanced at Sirius, and then looked again. His friend had an odd—and very rare—earnest expression on his face, and his hands were twisted together in an impossible finger knot in his lap.
"I...um well...I just wanted to tell you that...IthinkI'minlovewithyou." Sirius forced out and immediately looked away, cringing in expectation of the shock and outrage he knew would follow his idiotic declaration. When he didn't hear anything, he looked up very very slowly.
Remus was staring at him, obviously very surprised. "Wh-what did you say?"
Sirius sighed and stared down at his hands. "Don't make me say it again—oomf!" The last part of what he was going to say was abruptly swept out of his mind as the gold-eyed boy grabbed his face and kissed him soundly on the lips.
Sirius blinked. And then blinked again. Slowly, a foppish, half-drunken smile spread across the new favourite part of his body. He looked at Remus with a decidedly dazed expression on his face, and Remus burst into laughter.
"You have..." Laugh laugh. "No idea how..." Laugh. "Amazed you look!" Remus gasped out between fits of giggles. When he finally managed to curb his helpless laughter, he faced Sirius very seriously.
"I guess that means...you like me too?" The black haired boy asked, trying to keep the hope off his face.
Remus chuckled. "What do you think? I just wish you'd told me earlier."
Sirius agreed wholeheartedly. He let a mournful expression cross his face. "Think how much excellent snogging time we missed!"
Remus laughed again and moved closer to Sirius, who wrapped his arm around the blond protectively. "Mm...especially since you're such a bad kisser."
Sirius glared but rested his head on top of the other boy's. "How would you know? You took me by surprise. But then again...I could always just prove you wrong now..." He let his sentence trail away as he lifted Remus's chin to look him in the eye. With a grin, Sirius kissed him, slowly at first as they both readjusted to a new way of being together. Remus tangled his hand in Sirius's hair, pulling him closer, smiling as he felt the taller boy bit his lower lip gently.
Sirius nudged the blond boy up against the sun-warmed stonewalls, kissing him by turns gently and fiercely, possessively. They came up for air after what seemed like eternity and too short all rolled up into one blissful minute—or thereabouts. Remus rested his head on Sirius's shoulder and closed his eyes, loving the feel of the other boy's arm around his shoulders.
"Know what I think, Sirius?"
"Hm?"
"I think I'm in love with you too." Remus could feel Sirius smiling against his hair as the black-haired boy buried his face in the soft blond hair that floated like a halo around Remus's head.
"That's good to know." His mouth moved against his friend's hair as they fell asleep leaning against the wall.
James covered Peter's mouth with his hand to stifle the expected gasp. With a grin, he motioned for silence and crept closer to the two sleeping boys who lay twined in each other's arms. Peter followed, eyes wide. James crouched in front of them and watched them sleep. He was glad the two had finally figured out that they were in love. It had certainly taken them long enough!
The two other Marauders crept away again, and James made sure they were a safe distance away before clapping Peter on the back and whooping with happiness.
"They finally figured it out Peter! I thought I would die of boredom or old age before they finally snogged!"
Peter smiled too, happy because his "fearless leader" as Sirius called James, was happy.
And they had thought James didn't notice. Well, he wouldn't have to pretend not to see the darting glances his two friends shot at each other. Honestly, James scoffed to himself, they thought he was so caught up in being in love with Lily that he didn't notice anything else. Although this did apply to most things, James made a special exception for his fellow Marauders. And he had certainly noticed the mounting tension between the two boys who were currently sleeping together—in the most literal sense, of course. James snickered.
And since that was all straightened out, he could devote his full attention to courting and impressing the aloof Lily Evans.
Things had pretty much settled down at Hogwarts. The school was mainly open- minded about sexuality, and after the initial paying back of gambles—most of which were won by Liam Finnigan—Sirius Black and Remus Lupin holding hands and wandering the halls together, heads close together as they conferred, was not an unusual sight. The only problem was Severus Snape.
Remus had been studiously avoiding the boy the Marauders had dubbed Snivellus. It had worked pretty well too, since the four Gryffindors went around together, and managed to fade into the crowd should they spot Snape in the hallway. About a month after Remus and Sirius got together—even though the former hadn't officially broken it off with Severus—the Slytherin managed to corner the elusive werewolf.
"Remus. What a surprise." Severus' flat voice gave testimony to the fact that it wasn't really a surprise as he'd been following Remus.
The werewolf winced and turned to face his sort-of lover. "Severus." He managed to acknowledge him.
The greasy-haired boy stepped closer. "You've been avoiding me."
Remus looked for an exit but everyone had cleared out when Severus had come into the aisle of the library. "What? I haven't! We've just been busy with homework!" The lie sounded hollow even to his own ears.
"Don't lie to me, Remus." Snape's eyes and voice were level, monotonous. Remus gulped; his former lover's manner was one he saved to use on Remus only when he was very very angry. And there was no one here.
"I'm-I'm not..." Remus studied his feet, but quickly looked up again in shock as Severus grabbed his shoulders and slammed him against the bookshelf behind him. He gasped in pain as the taller boy ground his shoulder blades into the books and glared venomously.
"S-Sev listen! I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry..." Remus whimpered, terrified, and tried not to cry. The last time something had made Severus even remotely this angry; Remus hadn't been able to move his arms for a week. He had blamed it on the full moon, but Remus new it was because of Severus' beating.
"It's too late you bloody liar! I can't believe you did this to me." Severus hissed in his ear. "You told me you loved me. You lied."
"No I didn't Sev! I'm sorry! Let go of me!" Remus pleaded, trying to wriggle out of Severus' grasp, but the Slytherin merely tightened his grip on the slighter boy's shoulders and shoved him against the bookshelf again.
Severus growled in anger and dropped Remus, who slid to the ground, hugging himself. "Weakling. I don't know what I saw in you. You can't even defend yourself. Always looking for that git, Black to save you. You're pathetic, Lupin." With that, Severus turned on his heel, robes billowing, and swept out of the library.
Remus didn't move, silent tears running down his face. Normally, he would have ignored what Severus said but...this time it was all true. Remus rested his head on his knees and cried.
Disclaimer: You know, I don't own any of the characters nor am I making any money off them. They belong to J.K. Rowling.
Summary: Hee, I was so excited to write the summary. Well here it is. The chapter y'all have been waiting for! Peacocks, snogs, Peeping Tom's, fearless leaders, and sad confrontations to come! Read and review my friends!
That Saturday dawned bright and clear. This did not match Sirius' mood at all. He had been feeling decidedly nervous and agitated as of late. It seemed his subconscious mind had already decided to tell Remus how he felt about him, and was preparing him for the nervousness to come by laying it on slowly and thickly all day. This only served to make his conscious mind more nervous still. Or maybe he should just give in now and turn himself in to Professor Trelawney for Raving-Mad-Divination-Teacher Training. She was an expert—and he fit the first half well enough.
Luckily, James had yet to notice his best friend's growing anxiety; he was still unsuccessfully trying to court Lily Evans, employing the traditional peacock's mating dance. In other words, he was trying his hardest to impress her in every possible way with his cough prowess. And in his case, fail utterly. So, James was no problem. Sirius chuckled; his always- suave best friend could hardly remember his own name around Lily.
Sirius wondered if—IF—he ever gathered the courage to tell Remus how he felt, how he would do it. A letter? No, too impersonal. In the library? No, Remus would probably die of horror and shock Madame Pince into giving the still living—if he didn't die of embarrassment himself—Sirius a weeks' detention. Maybe Sirius could ask Remus to take a walk with him and then tell him...better than the other ideas, true, but definitely not the best. Or even close.
Even though it was only around ten, Sirius sat in the common room brooding and staring into the nonexistent fire. He purposely ignored the giggling coming from an irritating gaggle of Gryffindor girls, who were obviously and openly talking about him, dissecting his every action.
"Eek! Sarah, look! He's wearing a black shirt! Like you wore yesterday! D'you think he's hinting at anything?" One giggler exclaimed in excitement. The girl spoken to laughed nervously and made eyes at him. Sirius groaned and rolled his own eyes. He couldn't stand it anymore; he had to get out.
Sirius stood quietly and walked out, passing the girls and eliciting even more giggling. He wondered what they would do if they knew he was a pouf. Probably giggle some more. He shook his head as he stormed outside; he would never ever understand girls. And decided he really might not want to understand them when he saw James and Lily sitting near the lake. He seemed to be telling a joke, but she wasn't listening; instead, she was staring out across the water.
It didn't make any sense to Sirius. From a purely aesthetic point of view, James was...well, pretty. He had stubborn features, but they were carefully sculpted. It seemed to Sirius as if a master sculptor had spent days on just his face, molding and shaping. And his thick, unruly black hair was the finger-fantasy of every girl—and several boys—in the school. Of course, in Sirius's mind, James was nothing compared to Remus. Sirius sighed as he settled himself against the warm stone of the school, and closed his eyes.
He thought about Remus—as if he didn't all the time anyways. The other boy's face sprang instantly to mind. His beautiful, heart-wrenchingly sad golden eyes were enough to make more than half the student population melt—Sirius knew, being one of them. But coupled with his beautiful golden hair, and the way it always fell over one eye, and his delicately fragile features, he was positively angelic. Sirius decided he did more than melt. It was more like evaporating and existing in the air Remus breathed, just for the sake of being around him. He couldn't suppress a smile as he thought about Remus, and yelped in shock when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes flew open and he found a beautiful answering smile on Remus's face. The angel boy seated himself next to Sirius and tilted his head to the side, fixing his friend with an inquiring gaze.
"What are you smiling about?"
Sirius blushed. "What? Um...uh...that is...nothing."
Remus laughed, throwing his head back to expose a long pale throat. Sirius was captivated. He managed to look away before Remus sobered, and didn't dare meet his blond friend's gaze.
"Honestly, Sirius. You looked so..." Remus paused, searching for the right word. "So peaceful and happy and content and elated." He had decided to use all of the words that came to mind. Well, most of them. All but two, actually. Dead. Sexy.
"Yeah?" Now it was Sirius's turn to tilt his head at Remus. He supposed that was how he felt around Remus. Slightly—understatement of the century—horny, but he wasn't going to tell Remus that.
Remus nodded. And wondered whom his black haired friend had been thinking about. And wishing it was him.
Sirius took a deep deep breath. He had to tell Remus now. Today was Saturday; if things went badly, he should be able to avoid Remus for the rest of the weekend. He hoped. And if things went well...Sirius cackled evilly mentally. Finally, he turned to his friend, who was staring out toward the Forbidden Forest.
"Hey Rem?"
"Hm?" Remus glanced at Sirius, and then looked again. His friend had an odd—and very rare—earnest expression on his face, and his hands were twisted together in an impossible finger knot in his lap.
"I...um well...I just wanted to tell you that...IthinkI'minlovewithyou." Sirius forced out and immediately looked away, cringing in expectation of the shock and outrage he knew would follow his idiotic declaration. When he didn't hear anything, he looked up very very slowly.
Remus was staring at him, obviously very surprised. "Wh-what did you say?"
Sirius sighed and stared down at his hands. "Don't make me say it again—oomf!" The last part of what he was going to say was abruptly swept out of his mind as the gold-eyed boy grabbed his face and kissed him soundly on the lips.
Sirius blinked. And then blinked again. Slowly, a foppish, half-drunken smile spread across the new favourite part of his body. He looked at Remus with a decidedly dazed expression on his face, and Remus burst into laughter.
"You have..." Laugh laugh. "No idea how..." Laugh. "Amazed you look!" Remus gasped out between fits of giggles. When he finally managed to curb his helpless laughter, he faced Sirius very seriously.
"I guess that means...you like me too?" The black haired boy asked, trying to keep the hope off his face.
Remus chuckled. "What do you think? I just wish you'd told me earlier."
Sirius agreed wholeheartedly. He let a mournful expression cross his face. "Think how much excellent snogging time we missed!"
Remus laughed again and moved closer to Sirius, who wrapped his arm around the blond protectively. "Mm...especially since you're such a bad kisser."
Sirius glared but rested his head on top of the other boy's. "How would you know? You took me by surprise. But then again...I could always just prove you wrong now..." He let his sentence trail away as he lifted Remus's chin to look him in the eye. With a grin, Sirius kissed him, slowly at first as they both readjusted to a new way of being together. Remus tangled his hand in Sirius's hair, pulling him closer, smiling as he felt the taller boy bit his lower lip gently.
Sirius nudged the blond boy up against the sun-warmed stonewalls, kissing him by turns gently and fiercely, possessively. They came up for air after what seemed like eternity and too short all rolled up into one blissful minute—or thereabouts. Remus rested his head on Sirius's shoulder and closed his eyes, loving the feel of the other boy's arm around his shoulders.
"Know what I think, Sirius?"
"Hm?"
"I think I'm in love with you too." Remus could feel Sirius smiling against his hair as the black-haired boy buried his face in the soft blond hair that floated like a halo around Remus's head.
"That's good to know." His mouth moved against his friend's hair as they fell asleep leaning against the wall.
James covered Peter's mouth with his hand to stifle the expected gasp. With a grin, he motioned for silence and crept closer to the two sleeping boys who lay twined in each other's arms. Peter followed, eyes wide. James crouched in front of them and watched them sleep. He was glad the two had finally figured out that they were in love. It had certainly taken them long enough!
The two other Marauders crept away again, and James made sure they were a safe distance away before clapping Peter on the back and whooping with happiness.
"They finally figured it out Peter! I thought I would die of boredom or old age before they finally snogged!"
Peter smiled too, happy because his "fearless leader" as Sirius called James, was happy.
And they had thought James didn't notice. Well, he wouldn't have to pretend not to see the darting glances his two friends shot at each other. Honestly, James scoffed to himself, they thought he was so caught up in being in love with Lily that he didn't notice anything else. Although this did apply to most things, James made a special exception for his fellow Marauders. And he had certainly noticed the mounting tension between the two boys who were currently sleeping together—in the most literal sense, of course. James snickered.
And since that was all straightened out, he could devote his full attention to courting and impressing the aloof Lily Evans.
Things had pretty much settled down at Hogwarts. The school was mainly open- minded about sexuality, and after the initial paying back of gambles—most of which were won by Liam Finnigan—Sirius Black and Remus Lupin holding hands and wandering the halls together, heads close together as they conferred, was not an unusual sight. The only problem was Severus Snape.
Remus had been studiously avoiding the boy the Marauders had dubbed Snivellus. It had worked pretty well too, since the four Gryffindors went around together, and managed to fade into the crowd should they spot Snape in the hallway. About a month after Remus and Sirius got together—even though the former hadn't officially broken it off with Severus—the Slytherin managed to corner the elusive werewolf.
"Remus. What a surprise." Severus' flat voice gave testimony to the fact that it wasn't really a surprise as he'd been following Remus.
The werewolf winced and turned to face his sort-of lover. "Severus." He managed to acknowledge him.
The greasy-haired boy stepped closer. "You've been avoiding me."
Remus looked for an exit but everyone had cleared out when Severus had come into the aisle of the library. "What? I haven't! We've just been busy with homework!" The lie sounded hollow even to his own ears.
"Don't lie to me, Remus." Snape's eyes and voice were level, monotonous. Remus gulped; his former lover's manner was one he saved to use on Remus only when he was very very angry. And there was no one here.
"I'm-I'm not..." Remus studied his feet, but quickly looked up again in shock as Severus grabbed his shoulders and slammed him against the bookshelf behind him. He gasped in pain as the taller boy ground his shoulder blades into the books and glared venomously.
"S-Sev listen! I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry..." Remus whimpered, terrified, and tried not to cry. The last time something had made Severus even remotely this angry; Remus hadn't been able to move his arms for a week. He had blamed it on the full moon, but Remus new it was because of Severus' beating.
"It's too late you bloody liar! I can't believe you did this to me." Severus hissed in his ear. "You told me you loved me. You lied."
"No I didn't Sev! I'm sorry! Let go of me!" Remus pleaded, trying to wriggle out of Severus' grasp, but the Slytherin merely tightened his grip on the slighter boy's shoulders and shoved him against the bookshelf again.
Severus growled in anger and dropped Remus, who slid to the ground, hugging himself. "Weakling. I don't know what I saw in you. You can't even defend yourself. Always looking for that git, Black to save you. You're pathetic, Lupin." With that, Severus turned on his heel, robes billowing, and swept out of the library.
Remus didn't move, silent tears running down his face. Normally, he would have ignored what Severus said but...this time it was all true. Remus rested his head on his knees and cried.