Author's Note: Hey again! I'm frantically typing it all up for y'all so make sure to review! reviewwhore
Disclaimer: You know you know, they don't belong to me, they belong to JayKay and I'm not making any money off of 'em, except when I rent them out to fangirls...Just kidding!
And that was how Sirius found him, sobbing silently into his knees, robes soaking up his tears. The taller boy stood at the far end of the aisle for a second, trying to understand, and then shook himself and ran to hug Remus. Sirius held him tightly and let him cry, making quiet soothing noises. His heart wrenched with each shuddering sob that wracked the blond boy's shoulders. When Remus finally calmed enough to talk, Sirius sat across from him on the floor and took his hand.
"What happened, Rem? What's going on?"
Remus looked at him sadly, and suddenly Sirius knew. His hand clenched around Remus', tightening with anger.
"Snape. He found you." Sirius' eyes blazed with a frightening anger. "Damn the bloody bastard! Rem, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault; I shouldn't have left you alone." Remus opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius cut him off. "Don't worry. We'll get him back for this. I promise."
Remus finally managed to get a word in. "Don't Sirius! Please don't do this, even for me. Especially not for me. You'll get hurt, or else James will, or even Peter. You can't do this. Please." His eyes pleaded with the black ones opposite him for understanding.
"But Rem...Don't you get it? He hurt you!" Sirius burst out, unable to believe that the golden-haired boy was just going to let it go.
"Sirius." Sirius looked at him curiously. "Just leave it. Please. Don't get involved." Remus stood, slipping his hand from the other boy's reluctantly, and walked away silently.
Sirius scowled. He wanted to help Remus, but how without Remus finding out that he'd done it? Sirius was almost positive that Remus would be angry with him if he got involved after being asked to stay out. But he couldn't just close his eyes to the problem; he bloody loved that idiotic werewolf! Sirius growled and stood. He really needed to punch something. Preferably something with black greasy hair, a hideous nose, and the most irritatingly clever comments about everything. Of course, that didn't mean Snape! Of course not.
Remus slipped down one hallway after another, heading inexorably toward where he knew he would find Sev. And, as he slid through the door like a shadow, there he was, sitting at one of the long tables, chopping iridescent pixie wings into powder.
Remus stopped to watch him, enjoying the way the Slytherin's long face seemed peaceful, unlike his usual mask. A small smile tugged at the tall boy's lips as he mixed ingredients together. Remus had always joked with him that he was only happy with his potions. Sev had stopped and looked at him very seriously and told him—
"What do you want Lupin?" Sev's icy voice cut through the warm memory and brought Remus back to the cold present.
Remus shifted nervously from one foot to the other and couldn't look at the boy before him. "I-I...I wanted to tell you that...I'm sorry if I hurt you...I didn't mean to. It's just that...I love Sirius too. And...I don't know! I mean, I know you probably hate me just...I'm sorry Sev!" Remus looked up guiltily, hoping he hadn't said too much or too little.
Severus' eyes brought him up short. They were opaque pools of anger, coldness, and disgust. Somewhere down there, Remus thought he might have seen hurt, but when he blinked, it was gone.
"You're sorry, Lupin? Are you really?" Severus stood and took four steps forward, so they were less than a hand span apart.
Remus nodded. "I am."
"Then prove it."
"What? How?" Remus was puzzled, but he really didn't like the glimmer in Sev's eyes.
"Break it off with Black. Tell him you don't love him and that it was all a joke. Hurt him and ignore him. Then I might forgive you."
Remus sighed, defeated. He'd known this would happen, somehow. He also knew that if he didn't cooperate, Sev would hurt Sirius himself. Something in his food even, and it wouldn't be something small like falling in love with Professor Binns, either. No, this time it would be fatal. And Remus would rather see Sirius hurt than dead. He loved him too much for that. So, he hung his head and nodded. "Alright. I'll do it."
He could almost hear the smirk in Severus' voice. "Good. Now go."
With a second quick nod, Remus turned to go. Sev's arm snaked out to grab his wrist, twisting him around and pulling him close. The Slytherin kissed him lightly and smirked again. "You made the right choice."
After he left, Remus brushed his mouth with the back of his hand and whispered, "I hope so."
Remus went to find Sirius, a knot of anxiety whirling around in his stomach. He knew it would have to happen today, or Sev would know and take his own measures. When he stepped into the Gryffindor common room, he found Sirius, James, and Peter huddled together around the crackling fire. They were speaking in hushed tones, which abruptly stopped when they saw Remus. With sheepish grins on their faces, they made room for him next to Sirius, but Remus sat down across from him next to Peter. Remus didn't miss the flash of hurt in Sirius' eyes before it was quickly hidden away. James blinked several times, then shook himself, and resumed speaking, this time about homework.
Remus refused to look at Sirius, even though he could feel the other boy's questioning gaze on him. It took all his strength not to look up at Sirius and smile, so he didn't hear James talking at all. When Sirius stood up, Remus was suddenly painfully aware of his gaze.
"Rem? Can we talk a moment?"
Remus took a deep breath. Now was his chance to end it all with Sirius. Hopefully, they wouldn't need to spend too much time together afterward, so Remus could try to convince himself that he didn't really love Sirius. Somehow.
Sirius led the golden-haired boy away from the group and sat down in another armchair. He waited for Remus to seat himself before speaking.
"What's going on? Is something wrong?"
Remus squirmed and didn't look at him. "I...I don't think I love you anymore." It didn't sound very convincing to his ears, but Sirius seemed to believe him, judging by the naked pain in his voice.
"I see."
No! Remus wanted to shout. No, you don't see! You can't, because it's not true! He quickly stifled that voice and forced out the rest. "I-I want you to...to just forget about the last few months. That's all."
Sirius was now kneeling in front of him, face upturned to meet Remus' averted eyes. "That's all?"
Remus made himself nod and Sirius smiled bitterly.
"Of course." Remus cringed at the self-loathing in his probably former- friend's voice. Sirius' voice gentled suddenly and he lifted Remus' face to meet his own. "Just remember, Rem, I'll always wait for you." With that, he kissed the shocked blond boy gently, barely brushing his lips, and stood.
"Good night, Remus." Sirius left him there, and walked slowly up the stairs to the dorm.
After a few minutes, Remus followed him upstairs and slipped into bed. In the bed to his left, he could hear Sirius' ragged breathing, proving what Remus had already suspected; Sirius was crying. Remus wanted nothing more at that moment than to crawl into the other boy's bed and hold him until his tears stopped. But he knew that was impossible now. He'd ruined it completely. So he just lay in the cold, lonely bed and tried to sleep, only doing so when he heard Sirius' breathing even out in the smooth patterns of slumber.
Disclaimer: You know you know, they don't belong to me, they belong to JayKay and I'm not making any money off of 'em, except when I rent them out to fangirls...Just kidding!
And that was how Sirius found him, sobbing silently into his knees, robes soaking up his tears. The taller boy stood at the far end of the aisle for a second, trying to understand, and then shook himself and ran to hug Remus. Sirius held him tightly and let him cry, making quiet soothing noises. His heart wrenched with each shuddering sob that wracked the blond boy's shoulders. When Remus finally calmed enough to talk, Sirius sat across from him on the floor and took his hand.
"What happened, Rem? What's going on?"
Remus looked at him sadly, and suddenly Sirius knew. His hand clenched around Remus', tightening with anger.
"Snape. He found you." Sirius' eyes blazed with a frightening anger. "Damn the bloody bastard! Rem, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault; I shouldn't have left you alone." Remus opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius cut him off. "Don't worry. We'll get him back for this. I promise."
Remus finally managed to get a word in. "Don't Sirius! Please don't do this, even for me. Especially not for me. You'll get hurt, or else James will, or even Peter. You can't do this. Please." His eyes pleaded with the black ones opposite him for understanding.
"But Rem...Don't you get it? He hurt you!" Sirius burst out, unable to believe that the golden-haired boy was just going to let it go.
"Sirius." Sirius looked at him curiously. "Just leave it. Please. Don't get involved." Remus stood, slipping his hand from the other boy's reluctantly, and walked away silently.
Sirius scowled. He wanted to help Remus, but how without Remus finding out that he'd done it? Sirius was almost positive that Remus would be angry with him if he got involved after being asked to stay out. But he couldn't just close his eyes to the problem; he bloody loved that idiotic werewolf! Sirius growled and stood. He really needed to punch something. Preferably something with black greasy hair, a hideous nose, and the most irritatingly clever comments about everything. Of course, that didn't mean Snape! Of course not.
Remus slipped down one hallway after another, heading inexorably toward where he knew he would find Sev. And, as he slid through the door like a shadow, there he was, sitting at one of the long tables, chopping iridescent pixie wings into powder.
Remus stopped to watch him, enjoying the way the Slytherin's long face seemed peaceful, unlike his usual mask. A small smile tugged at the tall boy's lips as he mixed ingredients together. Remus had always joked with him that he was only happy with his potions. Sev had stopped and looked at him very seriously and told him—
"What do you want Lupin?" Sev's icy voice cut through the warm memory and brought Remus back to the cold present.
Remus shifted nervously from one foot to the other and couldn't look at the boy before him. "I-I...I wanted to tell you that...I'm sorry if I hurt you...I didn't mean to. It's just that...I love Sirius too. And...I don't know! I mean, I know you probably hate me just...I'm sorry Sev!" Remus looked up guiltily, hoping he hadn't said too much or too little.
Severus' eyes brought him up short. They were opaque pools of anger, coldness, and disgust. Somewhere down there, Remus thought he might have seen hurt, but when he blinked, it was gone.
"You're sorry, Lupin? Are you really?" Severus stood and took four steps forward, so they were less than a hand span apart.
Remus nodded. "I am."
"Then prove it."
"What? How?" Remus was puzzled, but he really didn't like the glimmer in Sev's eyes.
"Break it off with Black. Tell him you don't love him and that it was all a joke. Hurt him and ignore him. Then I might forgive you."
Remus sighed, defeated. He'd known this would happen, somehow. He also knew that if he didn't cooperate, Sev would hurt Sirius himself. Something in his food even, and it wouldn't be something small like falling in love with Professor Binns, either. No, this time it would be fatal. And Remus would rather see Sirius hurt than dead. He loved him too much for that. So, he hung his head and nodded. "Alright. I'll do it."
He could almost hear the smirk in Severus' voice. "Good. Now go."
With a second quick nod, Remus turned to go. Sev's arm snaked out to grab his wrist, twisting him around and pulling him close. The Slytherin kissed him lightly and smirked again. "You made the right choice."
After he left, Remus brushed his mouth with the back of his hand and whispered, "I hope so."
Remus went to find Sirius, a knot of anxiety whirling around in his stomach. He knew it would have to happen today, or Sev would know and take his own measures. When he stepped into the Gryffindor common room, he found Sirius, James, and Peter huddled together around the crackling fire. They were speaking in hushed tones, which abruptly stopped when they saw Remus. With sheepish grins on their faces, they made room for him next to Sirius, but Remus sat down across from him next to Peter. Remus didn't miss the flash of hurt in Sirius' eyes before it was quickly hidden away. James blinked several times, then shook himself, and resumed speaking, this time about homework.
Remus refused to look at Sirius, even though he could feel the other boy's questioning gaze on him. It took all his strength not to look up at Sirius and smile, so he didn't hear James talking at all. When Sirius stood up, Remus was suddenly painfully aware of his gaze.
"Rem? Can we talk a moment?"
Remus took a deep breath. Now was his chance to end it all with Sirius. Hopefully, they wouldn't need to spend too much time together afterward, so Remus could try to convince himself that he didn't really love Sirius. Somehow.
Sirius led the golden-haired boy away from the group and sat down in another armchair. He waited for Remus to seat himself before speaking.
"What's going on? Is something wrong?"
Remus squirmed and didn't look at him. "I...I don't think I love you anymore." It didn't sound very convincing to his ears, but Sirius seemed to believe him, judging by the naked pain in his voice.
"I see."
No! Remus wanted to shout. No, you don't see! You can't, because it's not true! He quickly stifled that voice and forced out the rest. "I-I want you to...to just forget about the last few months. That's all."
Sirius was now kneeling in front of him, face upturned to meet Remus' averted eyes. "That's all?"
Remus made himself nod and Sirius smiled bitterly.
"Of course." Remus cringed at the self-loathing in his probably former- friend's voice. Sirius' voice gentled suddenly and he lifted Remus' face to meet his own. "Just remember, Rem, I'll always wait for you." With that, he kissed the shocked blond boy gently, barely brushing his lips, and stood.
"Good night, Remus." Sirius left him there, and walked slowly up the stairs to the dorm.
After a few minutes, Remus followed him upstairs and slipped into bed. In the bed to his left, he could hear Sirius' ragged breathing, proving what Remus had already suspected; Sirius was crying. Remus wanted nothing more at that moment than to crawl into the other boy's bed and hold him until his tears stopped. But he knew that was impossible now. He'd ruined it completely. So he just lay in the cold, lonely bed and tried to sleep, only doing so when he heard Sirius' breathing even out in the smooth patterns of slumber.