Disclaimer: Nonhuman rather than inhuman.
Irrita Me, Invenies Quid Valeam
Dumbledore was contemplating the stack of paperwork on his desk. Complaints from Severus, demands from the Ministry, thinly veiled threats from any number of people, he had a bit of everything. Should he burn it, use it to line Fawkes' cage, or craft it into some sort of avenging paper golem to attack the authors? Decisions decisions.
One of the older elves arrived with a loud pop, drawing the old man back to the present.
"Hogwarty elves want to be Potter elves," the ancient house elf stated.
"Wonderful," Dumbledore said with a wide grin. "I hope you'll be willing to continue working at the castle to keep things running. Will the same remuneration I offer Dobby suffice?"
"Deposited in Harry Potter sir's vault, just like with Dobby."
"Done."
The old elf eyed the stack of paperwork. "Elvies are always in need of papers to wipe their bottoms with."
"Take it all with my compliments," Dumbledore said grandly. It'd take at least a week to collect enough paper to form a vengeful golem anyway, one or two more days to get the runes just right would likely give him time to make the thing harder to destroy anyway.
IIIIIIIIII
Suzanna opened the photo album and flipped through it until she got to the section with the current staff members.
"This is Mistress Granger's driver, my uncle by marriage on my mother's side. He was in the Special Boat Company with the mistress' brother. The Mistress invited all of her brother's men to her wedding and my uncle met my aunt and they hit it off. He was offered a position shortly after he married into the family." She turned the page of the photo album. "This is my father, he's running one of the companies owned by the Granger family. He went to school with Mister Granger to keep an eye on him at Eton and later at King's cause old Mister Granger didn't trust his son to keep out of trouble himself. Dad says he mostly helped Mister Granger keep from getting caught and Mister Granger did the same for him so he figures he did his job."
The little elf cocked her head. "Valentinny's daddy is the same age as Ms. Hermy's father?"
"Three years older. Old mister Granger planned ahead. Also sent a few more of the staff's children while Mister Granger was there and kept sending them after Mister Granger left. Said he wanted to make sure they didn't let standards slip before his grandsons had a chance to go." Suzanna laughed. "Mister Granger says the same thing and expanded it to any school anyone wants to go to. Added Hogwarts after Ms. Hermione got her letter and every top ranked magical school in Europe after he learned they existed. One of the perks of working for the Granger family is that your children will have a chance to be educated in the best schools in the world."
IIIIIIIIII
Harry's jovial smile dropped off his face the moment he was in his room with two of most his trusted subordinates.
"This place is as private as I can make it, chief," Flint stated.
Harry's eyes flicked to to Dobby.
"Dobby is keeping away peeping eyes and listening ears too, Harry Potter sir."
"You have my names?"
"Everyone who got arrested, chief," Flint agreed. "Even have a way to get a couple of them cut loose so we can grab them if we need to. Just say the word."
"Accidents, suicides, and disappearances," Harry ordered. "Make sure that everyone on the wrong side of the law knows that the Granger family is not to be touched. Make examples of anyone who doesn't agree or isn't intelligent enough to understand that actions have consequences. I am not going to have this situation repeat itself."
"You want our people to handle any future situations in house, chief?" Flint asked.
"If we can do so quietly," Harry agreed. "We'll turn them over if we can't and they'll commit suicide in prison after a reasonable amount of time has passed but only if it doesn't increase the risk to my g-" He paused. "To my friends or anyone else under our protection," Harry ordered. "Is that understood? I am through with reactive protection."
"Clear, chief."
"Dobby has a concern," the house elf stated. "Harry Potter sir's Auditor is watching his Grangy. Should we have Harry Potter sir's Grangy without his Auditor when prisoners need a talking to?"
Harry gave his first genuine smile of the night. "Do you have a solution, Dobby?"
"Dobby thinks so," the house elf answered.
Harry noticed what looked like a blush on his elf friend and decided not to pry. "We'll do things your way, Dobby. Tell Anguish that I want her to stick close to Hermione and why. Have her come directly to me if she has any questions or objections."
"You want us to share the take with the Granger in house security, boss?"
"Not unless I clear it or it's an emergency. Keep things as quiet as we can otherwise."
"Got it, chief."
Harry paused. "Should have asked this before, anger is no excuse for not doing so. Before I ask you to do anything criminal, do you have any problems with this course of action, Flint?"
Flint laughed. "I grew up in a very old pureblood house, chief. You're acting the same way a traditional head of family would in a similar situation. There has been an attempt to harm someone under your protection. An insult like that demands blood. Rivers and rivers of it. I'd have more of a problem if you just let it go. It's kinda comforting to know that you'll wreak revenge on the perpetrators that cause any harm to one of yours. Well, speaking as one of yours, chief."
"I'll do all I can to make sure that anyone who gets you or any of mine will soon follow." Harry's smile deepened. "Who do you think we should start with and why?"
IIIIIIIIII
Hermione woke early the next morning to find a pair of tailors dummies with two rather victorian looking black dresses on them. Winky, her new maid, stood proudly next to them almost hovering with excitement.
"Good morning, Winky," Hermione said with a smile, ignoring the look of mischievous amusement on Luna's face just as she'd ignored the other girl's warnings about how smothering house elves could be the night before. As bad as Winky might be, there was no way she could be worse or even as bad as Dobby was towards Harry. "How are you today?"
"Winky is good, mistress," the little elf chirped. "Winky is here to make sure her mistress Hermy looks very good and winky promises that her mistress Hermy's Loveygood will look almost as good. Winky came early to get the first fitting done, Winky thinks she can have dresses done before lunch. Winky promises before tea time."
Hermione nodded in understanding, she should have known her mother would expect her to wear something 'suitable' for the funeral and it figured that none of the, what seemed like thousands, of dresses she already had in her extensive wardrobe would do. "You must have worked really hard to get all this done so quickly."
"Winky woke up early," the little elf agreed. "Valentinny told Winky that one of her main duties was to make sure Winky's mistress was dressed properly."
"Thank you, Winky, but please do remember not to overwork yourself."
"Winky is used to working two, sometimes three days without rest. Two hours early is nothing," the house elf replied.
"Alright," Hermione agreed reluctantly. "But remember, the funeral isn't for another week and a half so there's no need to work too hard on the dresses."
The little elf cocked her head in confusion. "These are not Mistress Hermy and her Loveygood's funeral dresses, these are Mistress Hermy and her Lovegood's mourning dresses for evening wear. Winky will make tomorrow's dresses tonight and will get started on funeral dresses tomorrow."
"Vindication!" Luna cheered. "I tried to warn you, Hermione."
With Luna's laughter echoing through the room, Hermione felt a sinking feeling in her gut as she tried to remember how long a traditional mourning period was supposed to last. Her new maid was going to expect her to wear formal uncomfortable dresses every day for the foreseeable future. This was all her mother's fault, she just knew it.
IIIIIIIIII
Spikenose's pulse quickened as the odd creature known as Dobby appeared, something that promised to herald excitement if past experience was a guide.
"Many many bad muggles have made Harry Potter sir very very angry," the house elf began. "Harry Potter sir's Anguish is busy protecting his Hermy and Loveygood. Dobby needs an auditor to help make bad muggles talk so Dobby and Harry Potter sir's peoples can find all the bad muggles. Harry Potter sir has ordered that Dobby destroy all bad muggles and Dobby does not want to risk one bad muggle escaping."
"You bring me the funnest problems." The expression on Spikenose's face would have had most goblins looking warily for an exit. It had the opposite effect on Dobby. "Wait here, I have to grab some tools and to let my supervisor know that I'll be out."
IIIIIIIIII
Richard cared too much. He saw the problems with the world and he couldn't look away from them. It baffled him that anyone could. He'd started by passing out fliers, then he'd protested, he'd done everything he could do within the confines of the law to make a difference before he realized that nothing he'd done had changed anything. People would nod and make sympathetic noises, but no one was willing to take any action that would, in their view, negatively affect their standard of living. The day he realized that was the day Richard stopped doing everything he could within the confines of the law. That was the day that Richard became an outlaw.
He'd started with vandalism, if people were too lazy to change, well he'd make sure they had no choice about it. Violence, bombings, theft, his methods were impure but his cause was just. To his mind, the ends justified the means. It was an issue with funding that had led his group to consider kidnapping was an elegant solution in his mind. His target made the right noises, even contributed to some of the right causes, but she didn't contribute enough. Worse, she was married to an industrialist, someone that was likely one of the biggest contributors to the problems that cursed the nation's people. The plan was to grab the woman to force her husband to make some real changes, changes that might make a difference to the cause. The ransom they were going to force out of the parasite to fund the cause was a welcome bonus in their minds.
"Get up," the warder ordered. Richard did as he was told, it wasn't his first stay in prison, he knew that it was best to appear compliant.
"Yes, sir," Richard agreed, trying to appear to be a model prisoner. "May I be permitted to ask where I'm going, sir?"
"Out. You're being released."
"Being released, sir?" Richard was confused. He knew that there were solicitors working on his case, but he never expected them to be able to get him out so soon. Rich bastard must not have wanted the publicity that came with an attempt on his wife, parasite would likely let things go and hope they'd forget about him. He scoffed, all the greedy industrialist had done was sow the seeds of his own destruction.
"I don't know the details, I just know the paperwork says that you're to be released."
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
Richard kept a meek expression on his face until he was several blocks away. He couldn't believe his luck, it was almost too good to be true. He froze, it was almost too good to be true. Richard forced himself to move, damed rozzers had probably cut him loose to see if he led them to some of his comrades that hadn't gotten caught. The man forced himself to calm, he'd spent years in direct action, he knew how to shake a tail, he'd be fine.
IIIIIIIIII
Harry stepped out of his room to find a veritable crowd of people waiting for him. His aide and three of his people, Hermione, Luna, and four of the Granger servants.
"I asked one of the footmen to let me know when it sounded like you started moving around," Hermione explained.
"Same with your bodyguards, chief," Flint added. "Just wanted to give you an update on how the project is going."
"And?"
"Seems to be going well, chief," Flint said. "I'll be off to handle the second part personally after lunch if you don't need me for anything."
"Do I?"
"You're clear till you meet with the goblins tomorrow, chief," Flint replied.
"Get to it and take whatever you need to make sure the project is a success," Harry ordered. "Some reason my shadows are so close today?"
"There is, chief," Flint agreed. "Hoping to train up one of them to spell me out so I can spend more time with the husband."
Harry nodded. "Did you need something as well, Hermione?"
"You're free, I'm free, and Luna's free." Hermione ticked off fingers. "Would be a waste not to enjoy that."
"Have something in mind?"
Luna cleared her throat. "We haven't been on motorcycles for quite some time, care to do a few laps around the track?"
Hermione licked her lips. "I was thinking we could take turns picking things to do together until this evening."
IIIIIIIIII
Richard slipped out of the back of the delivery truck and calmly walked into the nearest alley. The street was deserted. Since leaving the jail, he'd acquired a new set of clothing, a bit of money for the cause, and had assured himself that no one could have surreptitiously followed him without giving away their presence. Looked as if he'd gotten away with it. It took another two hours to get to a safe house, the owner was less than pleased to see him.
"Get in," she hissed, pulling him into her flat. "What'd you come here for you fool? They probably let you go to see if you'd be stupid enough to bring them to me."
Richard smirked, she was a good kid, might even turn into a valuable member of the group some day if she was dedicated to stay in long enough to become competent. "Relax," he purred. "I made sure no one followed me. We have nothing to worry about."
"No," an unfamiliar voice disagreed. "She's right, that was the reason we had you cut loose."
Richard caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye before everything went dark.
IIIIIIIIII
Dobby sighed in annoyance when Harry Potter sir's worst elf arrived. A disgrace to all elves, Kreacher was, for not recognizing the majesty of Harry Potter sir.
"Kreacher hears Dobby bad elf has gotten a goblin to torture muggles for him," the old elf hissed. "Why is Dobby bad elf having a goblin do his work? Is lazy! Dobby is a lazy disgrace to all Black Elves. Dobby is a bad elf!"
"Spikenose is a good goblin and is better at questioning bad muggles than Dobby," he replied. "Better than Kreacher too."
The old elf's eyes flashed. "Kreacher has been torturing muggles since before Dobby bad elf's grandfather was born. Goblin Spikenose may be better than Dobby bad elf, but not better than Kreacher."
"Shall we have a contest?" Spikenose suggested mildly, entering the conversation.
Kreacher's skepticism turned to grudging respect as he watched the goblin systematically break the bad muggle that had been stupid enough to arouse the anger of Harry Potter sir. Looked as if he'd been wrong about the boy, lad was a credit to the Black family after all.
"Well?" Spikenose challenged, gesturing to the sobbing mess.
"Kreacher will dispose of the muggle while Dobby gets the next, then Spikenose will learn how much Spikenose has to learn about torturing bad muggles." The old elf turned to Dobby. "Where is Dobby disposing of bodies?"
"Dobby is using Hogwarty Pigs."
"Dobby will be back with next bad muggle in four minutes," Kreacher ordered. "Spikenose will wait and then Spikenose will see."
Precisely four minutes later, Kreacher got to work. Fear, pain, and regret turned to terror, agony, and oblivion. Kreacher's eyes flicked from his work to the goblin, challenging her to deny the mastery he'd achieved through decades in the service of the world's darkest and most noble house.
"You know several tricks I don't," Spikenose admitted with a sigh, showed she still had a lot to learn about her trade. "Several tricks," she amended. "We have a lot of work, more than I can handle alone. It would be a privilege to have you stay."
"Dobby's Spikenose has not been torturing bad muggles as long as Kreacher," the old elf consoled the young goblin. "Where did Dobby's Spikenose learn to torture bad muggles?"
"My aunt, who taught me all that I know but not all that she does."
"Kreacher was wrong, Dobby is a good elf and has found a good match."
The goblin's eyebrows went up at the old elf's statement, looked like her interest might not be one sided after all.
"Kreacher wants to know."
"Yes?"
"Is Dobby's Spikenose's aunt single?"
"I believe so," Spikenose admitted.
"Call her," Kreacher ordered. "Tell her to bring many friends. Bad muggles have given the names of more bad muggles. Dobby, Kreacher must know what master Harry Potter sir's orders for bad muggles were?"
"Master Harry Potter sir has ordered all bad muggles to learn how bad a mistake it was to cross Harry Potter sir. When Dobby and Harry Potter sir's peoples are done with bad muggles, Harry Potter sir's peoples are to make dead any bad muggles who threaten Harry Potter sir's Hermy, or his Hermy's family, or any of his other muggles."
Kreacher was almost dizzy with joy at the amount of work his master had given him. The old elf had to admit that he'd been wrong about the boy, it wasn't that he was soft, he'd just been distracted by a couple girls and the other usual things that distracted boys his age. "Kreacher will have to punish himself for days after bad muggles have been dealt with," the old elf mumbled cheerfully.
"Harry Potter sir has ordered that none of his elvies are to punish themselves," Dobby said sharply. "Kreacher will not punish himself!"
"Not punish themselves?!" Kreacher demanded, visibly outraged at the notion.
"Punishments take time," Dobby explained. "Time his elvies could be working. Dobby heard the words from Harry Potter sir's mouth. Harry Potter sir says that Dobby is to give bad muggles his punishments. Harry Potter sir says Dobby is more valuable than bad muggles and bad muggles deserve it more anyway."
Kreacher rocked back on his heels. It seemed as if his master would take any excuse, even one so small as elf punishment, to inflict pain on bad muggles. Truly he was the blackest of Blacks. Truly Kreacher was fortunate enough to live long enough to serve such a black hearted master.
IIIIIIIIII
Kreacher hated to leave when there was work unfinished, an action that stank of laziness, but needs must and master Blackest had muggles that were going untortured due to lack of hands. Granted Gringotts was lending its aid, but Kreacher would be damned before Master Blackest was forced to rely on outsiders, no matter how attractive they might be, to get his muggles tortured.
It was quite fortunate that Master Blackest had ended so many families during the battle of Hogsmeade, Kreacher reflected, families that left behind elves of the correct mindset and temperament. Perhaps that had been part of the great Master Blackest's plan? To eliminate rival families and to take their elves and other things to add to his own? Kreacher snorted, part of him wished that the great Master Blackest would share his plans with his good elves, the rest of him was overjoyed at once again being in the service of a true Black.
He found the first recruit polishing the silverware in her former masters' house. It was clear the other elf's heart wasn't in her actions, understandable, he supposed, being without a family was a terrible thing. "You is Squeally?"
"I is Squeally," the other elf agreed dully.
"I is Kreacher. Squeally is now an elf of Master Blackest! Squeally will take all her former masters' things and put them in Master Blackest's vault. Squeally will then go to Master Blackest's warehouse to torture bad muggles for Master Blackest."
A gleam of hope appeared in the other elf's eye. "Squeally will torture bad muggles for Squeally's new master?"
"Many many muggles have angered Master Blackest and sit untortured," Kreacher explained. "Many more will come and have to wait before Master Blackest's elves can torture them. Master Blackest has been forced to bring in goblins to help for lack of elves."
"Squeally will come!" the other elf was jumping for joy. "Who is great Master Blackest and where is his warehouse of work?"
"The Great and Powerful Master Blackest is the Great Harry Potter sir, Blackest of Blacks."
"Harry Potter sir?" the other elf said doubtfully. "Harry Potter sir killed former masters, Harry Potter sir is a light wizard?"
"The Great Harry Potter sir, Blackest of Blacks is the darkest of wizards," Kreacher assured the other elf. "Master Blackest deceived stupid light wizards, Master Blackest wiped out many families so he could take their good elves to torture muggles. Truly great is the dark wizard Harry Potter sir, the Blackest of Blacks."
"Blackest of the Blacks," Squeally whispered, echoing the older elf. "Squeally understands, Squeally will do as the great master has ordered."
"Squeally must understand Master Blackest's number one rule, his good elves are not to punish themselves."
"Not to punish themselves?!" Squeally said in outrage.
"Is time that could be spent torturing muggles," Kreacher explained. "Master Blackest loves torturing muggles more than he loves elves being punished."
The other elf rocked back on her heals in shock at the pronouncement. "Truly the darkest of dark, truly the greatest of masters."
"Squeally will pack former masters things, Squeally will put them in Master Blackest of Blacks vaults, Squeally will go to Master Blackest's warehouse, and Squeally will torture only one muggle." Kreacher smiled widely. "Then Squeally will find another elf with no masters and Squeally will tell the other elf all that Kreacher has told Squeally. One more muggle, one more elf, until there are no more elves to be found."
"Squeally understands. Squeally will find many elves and will torture many muggles for the Great and Mighty Harry Potter sir, Darkest of the Dark, Blackest of the Black."
"Squeally is a good elf."
IIIIIIIIII
Harry raised an eyebrow and suppressed a smirk at Hermione and Luna's severe old fashioned looking black dresses.
"Not one word," Hermione growled.
"Glad to see that Winky is as enthusiastic about taking care of you as Dobby is with me," Harry said mildly. "You're looking quite nice tonight, both of you."
"Like them?" Luna asked brightly, spinning around to give him a better look while ignoring her best friend's mood. "I'd always thought my complexion was too pale to pull off black, but I think the contrast is quite striking."
"It looks good on you, Luna," Harry agreed. "You as well, Hermione."
Hermione sniffed, dreading her mother's reaction. Ann strolled into the room and came to an immediate halt when her eyes fell on her daughter. After an eternity, a wide approving smile bloomed on the woman's face.
Philip Granger noted his daughter's appearance and the look on his wife's face with a single glance. He didn't know what was happening but he did know that it was likely not something he wanted to be dragged into.
"Harry, a moment," he stated, rescuing the boy as his wife closed in.
"I'm glad to see you in suitable mourning attire, darling, it's long past time you started taking these things seriously." Her mother stepped closer to inspect the dress. "Wonderful workmanship, you must give me the name of your new dressmaker."
"Winky did it for us," Hermione said glumly.
"Be sure to pass her my compliments," Ann ordered. "I expect you to loan her to me when she has a bit of time, I always have work for someone of her skill."
"Yes, mum."
"As to the matter of your dress," Ann continued. "Times have changed, darling, you may of course continue wearing it if you like, but you are not required to wear formal mourning attire when only family is present."
"Winky insisted," Hermione explained.
"Wonderful!" Her mother's smile brightened. "Remind me to compliment her on her good judgement. Better to err on the side of caution and formality."
"May I go back to wearing normal clothes, mum?" Hermione asked desperately.
"I'll have Suzanna speak with Winky about it if you like, darling."
"Thank you, mum."
The woman turned to Luna, noticing the hopeful look on the girl's face. "You look absolutely marvelous in that dress, Luna, it really suits you."
"You don't think it makes me look too pale?"
"I'd normally think you'd look better in a blue, but your current look absolutely works for you. Remind me to set aside a day we can all try dressing up to decide which colors suit us the best."
"I will," Luna agreed happily.
Hermione's mother smirked internally at the wince on her daughter's face, contrasting it with the look of absolute joy on Luna's. Tormenting one's offspring, truly one of the greatest joys of parenthood. The fact that she got to combine it with spoiling her daughter's friend was icing on the cake. Such a great shame she couldn't have more children. It had been hard enough to adjust to Hermione having to leave for school, she could only imagine how difficult it would be to see her off for good. Perhaps there was something to be said for generational households after all.
IIIIIIIIII
Philip was silent until he and Harry had found a quiet corner and the proper charms had been cast to ensure privacy.
"Amelia will be attending dinner with us, she's wanted me to pass on her request for a bit of time with you after the meal."
"Sure," Harry agreed. "You know what she wants to talk about?"
"Not a clue," Hermione's father replied cheerfully. "Have time for a round of golf tomorrow?"
"Should be clear till my meeting with the goblins," Harry replied.
"Starting to have trouble remembering who has dibs on your time?"
"Yeah. I'm hoping it gets better after I get used to it."
"It doesn't," Phil assured the boy.
IIIIIIIIII
Spikenose rose to her feet when her aunt arrived with reinforcements. It was a collection of Auditors that would have even the most hardened of warriors trembling in fear, legends among legends. First was Nailripper, the auditor that singlehandedly brought down the largest embezzler in the last five decades. With him was Toecutter, a field auditor that often accompanied cursebreaking teams so any potential bandits would not have to wait overlong for a conversation partner. Dentist was a goblin that needed no introduction. Lastly was her aunt, Ballcracker, the auditor that had taught her everything she knew about the fine art of extracting information from unwilling subjects.
"What's the backlog?" her aunt asked, starting things off.
"Seventeen at the moment with the promise of many more to come," Spikenose replied. "The Potter has ordered his armsmen to make examples and to destroy any underworld organization that might threaten any under his protection."
Ballcracker smiled. "Do you have a list of questions?"
"No list, the main thing is to determine all of their comrades so that we can be sure that none escape. The Potter has given orders that this incident is to never be repeated and has allocated sufficient resources to ensure that his orders are carried out."
"Add financial information to that," Ballcracker ordered. "A bit of care could make this an operation that pays for itself."
"Yes, senior auditor."
"Spikey, we're family and we're not at Gringotts."
"Yes, aunty."
"Now, where's this Dobby of yours? I'd like to meet him before I decide who to get started with."
"He's busy cleaning up the last interrogation, aunty," Spikenose replied. "Don't you dare threaten him when he gets back."
"Shy type?"
"No. He might take it the wrong way and decide to kill you and everyone that came with you and there's nothing you could do to survive if he did," Spikenose boasted.
"Sounds like a fine prospect," Ballcracker said cheerfully. "He'll make an excellent addition to the family."
IIIIIIIIII
Amelia dismissed her security detail as they arrived at the Granger residence. She didn't know how her conversation was going to go, she did know she didn't want there to be anything that could be interpreted as a threat or show of power.
"Susan, join Hermione and Luna," she ordered.
"Yes, aunty," Susan agreed, wondering internally what was going on.
The Head of the DMLE nodded to one of the footmen. "Do you know where Mr. Potter is?"
"I can find him, Director Bones, would you like a quiet meeting space?"
"I would, thank you."
The footman waved one of his colleges over. "Show Director Bones to the red room." He turned back to Amelia. "I shall bring Mr. Potter to you as soon as I manage to locate him."
"Thank you." Amelia's thoughts were swirling as she followed the footman to the meeting room and for the minutes she had to wait.
The door opened. "You wished to meet with me, Amelia?"
"Yes, thank you, Harry."
"Shall we begin or would you like to put up some privacy charms?"
"I do not believe we require charms for this. Not here," Amelia replied.
"Alright."
"Minister Fudge is under the impression that you were planning to have him killed," Amelia stated, making the whole thing sound like a joke.
"Consequence of using me as a threat when you negotiate with the rest of the Ministry I suppose," Harry said mildly.
"Probably," Amelia agreed. "I've been able to wring a number of concessions out of him in return for talking you out of it."
"Good." Harry smiled. "That means I won't have to go through with my plans to have him removed. Make sure he knows that I'll leave him alone so long as he doesn't get stupid please, Amelia. Make absolutely sure he understands that I will not tolerate any alterations to the deal or attempts to weasel out of it."
Amelia's mouth snapped shut when she registered the boy's tone of voice, nothing in it indicated that the boy was joking. This, she thought as she looked into the man's eyes, was the last thing Bellatrix Lestrange saw before she met her well deserved end.
Harry regarded the head of magical law enforcement for a few silent moments. "Fudge is alive because he did not make himself enough of an obstacle to merit removal. I do not care what he does so long as he knows not to be too large of a hindrance. I hope I made myself understood, I do not want there to be any misunderstandings."
"I'm not going to tell you that you can't just have inconvenient politicians assassinated, clearly you have the resources to be able to. All I ask is that you talk to me if it becomes an issue," Amelia sighed. "I'll see if I can do something about it so it doesn't get messy."
"He leaves me alone, he leaves mine alone, he leaves the Grangers alone, he leaves you to fight the war," Harry said firmly. "He pretends like we don't exist. He confines himself to the Ministry and the rest of the magical world. Amelia, I don't want to take over the magical world. I don't want to replace Lucius Malfoy as the power in the shadows. I just want to be Harry Potter, I want a quiet life, and I want to be left alone. I want a wife and I want to us to have a little house of our own to fill with children and I want to live the rest of my life in peace."
"I wish you luck in achieving your goals," Amelia said dryly, knowing how impossible the boy's wish was. If they succeeded then he'd never be anything but the man-who-won. If they didn't then it wouldn't matter.
Harry cracked a smile. "I aspire to things I'll never achieve. I've done a lot of things over the years that I didn't want to. Be sure Fudge realizes that we'll both be happier if he doesn't make me do something else I don't want to."
"Come to me before you do anything else," Amelia ordered. "Truthfully, I've got more than enough to have him removed and disgraced with you in my back pocket."
"Would his replacement be any better?"
"No. Likely come with a whole new set of problems."
"Then Fudge stays," Harry sighed.
"Fudge stays," Amelia agreed. "For now. Hell of a thing having to try to decide which course of action would be the least bad."
"Choosing the lesser evil is still choosing evil," Harry agreed. "I do what I do because it is necessary. I do not take pleasure in it." He shook his head. "I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have a normal childhood?"
Amelia snorted. "Ups and downs. Every teenager goes through what they think is the worst ever. You can only appreciate the small ups and downs of life after you have experienced worse. You'll have kids one day and laugh when they think they have it bad because you knew worse."
"Yeah," Harry said wistfully. "Here's hoping we can make a world without the garbage I'm going through. A world in which my children can't imagine our present because it's so far removed from what they grew up with."
IIIIIIIIII
Alfie awoke slowly. He was confused, he'd gone to sleep in his bed and woken up strapped to a table. Rozzers would have him in a cell, the movement didn't have any other foes who'd do this to him. He grinned, lads were having a bit of fun with him. Only conclusion that fit the facts.
"Fun's fun, cut me loose."
"Not just yet," a gravely voice stated. He heard the sound of a page turning. "I'll need you to be patient for just a bit longer, I have a bit of reading to do before we can begin."
"Begin what?" Alfie said bravely, the barest hint of doubt making itself felt.
"The rest of your interrogation of course," the gravely voice replied. "I'm going over the result of your chemical interrogation, very interesting reading, but incomplete. The problem with drugs is that the amount needed to make you pliable is more than enough to have an adverse affect on your mental facilities. Makes it hard to pin down the finer details." A page turned. "Which is why we're going to confirm things with more traditional methods."
"W-what are you going to do?" Alfie hated himself for that tremor. The lads were going to have a lot of fun with that, he told himself.
"I am going to ask you a series of questions." A page turned. "If you refuse to speak, I will cause you pain until you cooperate. If you lie, I will inflict pain on you. While the two of us are having our conversation, some of my colleagues will be having similar conversations with some of yours. If your stories are different, we will cause both of you pain until your stories are the same. Do you understand?"
"Paul? Jeff? You win, I'm scared, you can let me out now."
"I am neither Paul nor Jeff." A page turned. "You will not be going anywhere until you have answered all of my questions." A page turned. "Why don't we start out with an easy one? Tell me, how many lights to you see?"