During "End of Days"
Chapter 17
I had brought the book downstairs to the living room and just started reading it. It started out slow, mostly just giving dates of different events that didn't seem very important. Then it started talking about the vault, but mostly it just mentioned visits.
One thing I found interesting was that Airaei never really felt excited to visit the vault, not until later on. When she 'remembered' the prophecy her interest perked. It was if she finally thought my life might be interesting. It wasn't until I came back to life that she really mentioned me, using my name and everything.
The whole thing felt rather formal, as if someone was telling her to write it and she had to follow some sort of pattern. Then, about twenty pages from the end, things changed a little.
It had gone back a couple of weeks, back before she remembered the prophecy. It was if she had a second journal hidden here, one for her eyes only. Almost the entire thing was complaining about her parents, saying how she was going to leave once she finished with the vault, and talking about someone who I think was her lover.
Dexion was human, a few years older than her. He was a guard for her family and often fought in the arena. Her father had him sent away after he noticed that Airaei and him were getting close. He had several suitors in mind for her, none of which she liked.
The hole section sounded like one huge complaint. As far as I could tell Airaei was a spoiled brat, who truly did have good intentions but didn't realize she wasn't really helping anyone. Why Dexion liked her had me stumped, but maybe she was nice some of the time.
Which brought me to my other thought: Dexion. I hadn't remembered him, not really. His name had come to mind once while the memories flashed by, but I didn't really remember him. He seemed to be a huge part of her life, though, and everything else in her life that really mattered had shown up in some form. Her father, the arena, her brother. . . Adding all of this factors together a thought had come to mind.
Alucard had shown up in a memory. Only for a second, but he was there. I couldn't help thinking about last night, about him kissing me, and those thoughts kept bringing me back to the same question. Could Alucard and Dexion be the same person?
It made sense, it was possible, but at the same time, highly unlikely. Or was it? I mean, he knew so much about me, about her, and Zeke had mentioned love. . .
I threw that thought out right away. Alucard was a vampire, he couldn't love. Then again, Spike had been in love with Buffy, but was that the same thing? Did it matter? It wasn't as if I wanted him to love me, I certainty didn't feel that way about him.
All my thoughts were jumbled together, so I decide to focus on something else. Flipping through the book I turned back to the prophecy's page. Once again I studied the words.
The exact meaning behind them was basically 'The Slayer will kill the last vampire or die by --' it gave some date that was harder still to translate, but was sometime very soon, as in probably the next week. Time was running out.
The problem I had with the prophecy was that it didn't specify me being the Slayer. It was obvious I was, every time they had used the phrase they had implied it was me, but normally Airaei would have stated which Slayer. I had found vague references to Faith and Buffy, but they had been labeled 'first' and 'second' Slayers, I had been the third.
So maybe if I changed a couple of words, giving the term Slayer a title. . . I would have to talk to Chris. He might have some ideas on it. Quickly I got to my feet and jogged to the kitchen.
"'Ey Chris, what kind of words did Airaei use to identify me in the diary? Just in general" I asked, pulling a chair out to sit in as I grabbed a spare piece of paper.
Chris watched what I was doing as he rattled off ideas. "She never used your name, sometimes she actually used her own. Other times it was just Slayer, or 'the third Slayer'. Once it was the internal Slayer. . . Why're we brainstorming?" he asked.
I held my hand up, asking for a moment as I scribbled down different forms of that sentence, using each of the different names but leaving the rest of the prophecy the same. When I finished with all the different ideas I handed it over to Chris.
"Someone changed the name, that was the problem," I explained. "We just have to figure out which of the others would have worked, without changing any other part of the sentence."
Chris scrolled a finger over the page, his eyes followed it as he read through our options. He pulled out a pen and started crossing off a couple.
"Okay, if we don't change anything but the name, we can knock the options down to 'third Slayer' and 'internal Slayer'. The others wouldn't make any sense," Chris murmured as he looked over the list again. He didn't seem happy with our choices though. "Something's missing," he muttered.
I took the list back, staring at the options. "Yeah, this one says I'm going to die," I said, pointing to the sentence saying 'third Slayer, "and this one says I'll kill the bad guys, but it still says all vampires," I murmured, pointing to the sentence with 'internal Slayer'.
"So, it doesn't change much," Lloyd asked from the sidelines. Chris and I both nodded without saying anything.
"So, maybe there's another way to say one of the two, or maybe we could change one of the others," Chris suggested.
I nodded, thinking about it. "Maybe. . ." I murmured, staring at them. Then and idea came to me. "What if we combined them?" I asked.
Chris looked up. "What?"
"There are ways to combine words, so that they kind of have a double meaning to them. Is there a way to group these together?" I asked, pointing to our choices.
Chris grabbed the paper again, he started scribbling on it, taking notes. I peered over his shoulder as he worked out his ideas. After many failed attempts, he finally put the paper down, pointing to a final sentence.
"There, that's it. It's almost identical to the book but--"
"but it changes the meaning to this word," I said, pointing to the word 'vampire.'
Chris nodded as Lloyd got up and walked over to us. He stared at the paper for a moment before stepping back. "Okay, I don't get it, explain it to me."
Chris smirked, but started to write out the means to each word. "In this case it's fairly simple. You still have the date, right here," he pointed to it, "Then the name" he pointed to it, "and this section right here," he said, pointing to the options, "originally meant she'd kill all the vampires, or die. That's the only part that's changed. It still says she might die, but the vampire part is now saying that she'll kill the last super vampire, or greater vampire, there's an emphasis on the vampire bit."
Lloyd just stared at us for a moment. "What does that mean?"
"It means," I said as I started to grin, "that I'm going to fight off the umber vamps."
Chris nodded, also grinning. "We figured it out," he said happily.
I nodded back. "Yeah, we did. So we're either going to win, or I'm going to get killed." Despite the somewhat pessimistic options I was happy. Sure, I might die, but I had known that since this hole thing started. At least now we had made some progress.
"There's only one thing I don't understand," Lloyd murmured. Chris and I both looked at him. "Why does Airaei use the term 'internal Slayer' when talking about you?"
There wasn't time to answer, because at that moment Andrew burst into the dinning room, carrying two paper bags, stuffed full of food. "Hey guys. Would you mind clearing off the table, or just helping me unload these groceries?" He asked, cheerfully.
I glanced at Lloyd, who shrugged. "Well, we're done here." Nodding agreement I helped move our stuff, then went out to the car to grab some more stuff.
When I got back inside girls were already starting to grab at things. I brought the bags I was carrying into the living room, Chris who was also carrying bags followed me in. After a couple more trips everything was inside and the word had got out. The girls were grabbing one or two things, then heading off.
"It was pretty exciting," Andrew said. "A whole grocery store, just abandoned. Food lying around everywhere. The produce was on its way to funky town, but the other stuff was just--"
"Of for god's sake!" Giles muttered as he entered the room, surveying the scene.
Andrew glanced at him. "Hi Mr. Giles. Okay, I did a little looting, which is technically unethical, but this girls need to eat--"
Giles cut in impatiently. "Andrew, things are getting very dire around here, and we've got more important things to worry about then-- ooh! Jaffa Cakes!" Giles stopped complaining and grabbed whatever Jaffa Cakes were, along with one or two other things.
"The apples still looked pretty good, so everyone make sure they check those out," Andrew announced to everyone.
I ignored the announcement and grabbed at the groceries myself. After choosing a box of chocolate pop tarts and a couple cans of soda I backed off, letting the others get into it as I enjoyed my snacks.
Just then the door opened and Anya, Xander, Willow and Dawn returned. They didn't look like they had a successful trip.
Giles swallowed what he was eating as Xander walked into the living room. "Did you find Buffy?" Giles asked.
"No," Xander answered.
"But you did that spell with the little lights," Andrew said, "The locator."
"It crapped out on us," Anya stated.
"No it didn't. . . not exactly," Dawn disagreed.
"It just took us to an empty house," Willow explained. "She must've moved on already."
"Well, I'm afraid there's rather worse news here," He glanced toward the Potentials, who were all still involved with the food. He led the group of four off to th side for a moment, Andrew tagged along, as did Lloyd, who had joined in with the little group. I watched them talk as I ate my pop tarts.
When they all finished Lloyd came back to us. "They're worried about Faith, might want to go out and look for her and the girls."
"They have been gone long," I agreed. "Any chance of me going?"
"I don't know," Lloyd admitted. "You'll have to ask Giles, I think he's just sending the four of them back out. Besides, we have some wok to--"
"Oh, lay off it. I just helped fix the prophecy, I'm sure I can go on a rescue mention," I muttered.
Lloyd glanced at me, not approving of my interruption. "Fine, go talk to Giles about it," he said a little sourly.
I took the opportunity to avoid further research and made my escape. Giles was still talking to everyone, I stepped in and asked if I might be able to help with the rescue job. Giles agreed that it might be a good idea for another Slayer to tag along.
We all got into a car and Willow drove to the spot the armory was supposed to be at. Right when we got out of the car Willow cast the locator spell, this time to fin Faith. A couple of little lights appeared. They wondered in circles for a moment, then took off in a hurry down one of the tunnels that led to the sewers. I went first, in case we ran into any bad guys.
After a few minutes we heard the sound of people, the lights were headed towards them. Quickening our pace we met up with the group in just over a minute.
The potentials were scratched and bruised and bleeding. A couple of them were dragging an unconscious Faith, the rest were helping each other. Buffy was there in front leading them out of the tunnels. They all looked surprised to see us.
"Buffy! Are you okay?" Willow asked, stepping up to the group.
Buffy nodded, "help the others, we need to get them cleaned up," she ordered. We all got to work helping some walk or lending a hand in carrying someone.
"What happened?" I asked as I helped to support one of the potentials that was limping forward.
"It was a trap," Kennedy said. "There was a bomb, and then. . ."
"Umber vampires," Amanda finished for her. "They were waiting for us."
"Is everyone okay?" Willow asked, she quickly looked Kennedy over, making sure nothing was wrong with her girlfriend. "Who're we missing?"
"Where's Todd?" I asked, for the first time noticing he wasn't here People ignored my question though, everyone was in such a hurry to get the others out. It didn't take us long to get back above ground, but I wasn't giving it my all. Once I had the girl I had been helping in a car I grabbed Kennedy to get her attention.
"What happened to Todd?" I couldn't keep a hint of fear out of my voice.
Kennedy looked uneasy. I'm sure she was tired and didn't want to have to worry about me freaking out, but I wanted to know. "He. . . the explosion just happened, he had been near the front. . . I'm sorry Beth."
Nodding I let go of her arm. This wasn't the time to create a scene, this girls had to get back to the house. Everyone climbed into some vehicle and we were off towards the house. I was silent the hole trip.
The weird part was I didn't think about any of this, I just sat and stared at the window, and realized that it was a beautiful day out. Summer was coming and it was nice. These weren't normal thoughts for me, but they were nicer ones than thinking about how one of your best friends just died in an explosion.
Once we got to the house I once again helped girls move around. Buffy and Willow sent me all around the house for anything we could use as bandages. We ran out of things pretty quickly and finally I just grabbed a few sheets and started tearing them up. It was better than nothing. The watchers were helping, none of them had noticed Todd's absence yet. I didn't know to say anything about it, so I just kept tearing up sheets and bandaging up potentials.
I picked up a stack of newly made bandages and dropped them off to all of the potentials that were helping out around the house. After I finished I ended up in the living room, helping to stop the bleeding of one of the girls. Then Giles and Xander brought in Faith, they both carefully carried her upstairs to Buffy's room. Buffy herself had been helping out.
From what I had managed to pick up from the girls I knew that Faith had gotten caught in a trap, a bomb had gone off, when everyone woke up they gathered those still alive and tried to pull them out. They were attacked though, by umber vamps, and were almost killed, when Buffy shows up carrying this assume new ax thing which she uses to kill the vamps with. Suddenly the day's saved, they're all leaving, and that's about the time we met up with them.
Chris walked into the living room where I was bandaging up one of the girl's arm. He saw me and hustled over. "Hey, Beth, need any help here?" I shook my head, not looking up at him. "Okay, have you seen Todd? Lloyd wanted to talk to him."
"Um. . ." I murmured as I continued to wrap the arm. "I. . . um. . ."
"What?" Chris asked, not seeing any major problems.
I shook my head, pulling the bandage tight as I tied it. "Hey, watch it!" the girl snapped. I muttered an apology as I loosened the knot a little, then stood up, heading towards the basement, trying to find someone else to help.
Chris followed me. "So where is he?" He asked.
I shook my head. "He's. . . not here."
"Where'd he go?"
I hesitated a step. "He. . ." I couldn't say it, I was trying not to let it affect me. Todd was dead, he was dead. I knew people would die in this fight, but. . . I didn't expect someone I knew to get hurt, not seriously hurt anyway.
"Beth, what's wrong?" Chris asked, realizing something was up.
Again I shook my head. "Todd. . . well, Todd. . . didn't make it out."
I caught a quick glance of Chris's face, he looked surprised, I'd bet anything he would have asked another question, but I didn't want to answer it. So I took the cowards way out. I just about ran to the basement, closing the door after me. Leaning against the door I took a shaky breath, hoping more than anything that Chris wouldn't follow me in here. The last thing I wanted was to have to actually talk about this.
He shouldn't have gone. He was a watcher, they were suppose to watch, not go off and fight the bad guys. That was my job, I was a Slayer. If I had gone instead. . . stupid research. If I hadn't had to read that stupid book, or let's take it back a step, if I hadn't even gotten cursed then none of this would have happened. Which of course didn't mean anything, because there was another apocalypse coming and that could kill everyone.
I just never thought it would kill us. Or at least not those of us I cared about. It was selfish of me, I know, but even when I felt bad for the potentials who died, it never truly bothered me. It was sad, but that was it. But now I didn't know what to do. Todd was gone, and that was it. There was nothing I could do about it, I hadn't even been there to help.
Shaking my head I took a step down the stairs and sat down. I couldn't clear my mind, there wasn't anything that could make me stop thinking about Todd being dead. It was too repetitive, just like a song you couldn't get out of your head, only worse. There was a way to get a song out of your head though, just find something more annoying to sing about, or in this case think about.
So now it was a toss up between Zeke and Alucard. Who would be worse to think about?
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I glanced behind me. Someone wanted my attention. "You can come in," I called.
The door opened to show Lloyd waiting in the door way. "You okay?" he asked. I studied him for a moment. He didn't look grief stricken, or sad, or anything. His face was carefully blank, but he sounded genuine in his concern.
"Yeah, I'll be alright," I murmured as I stood back up. Lloyd nodded, standing aside so that I could walk out. I forced a smile as I walked by him. "Do you know where Buffy is? I think I'd like to talk to her for a moment."
"What about?" Lloyd asked.
I shrugged. "Well, we are in the middle of an apocalypse. I think I'll start with that," I murmured.
He smirked. "Yeah, that's a good start. She's in her room with Faith."
Smiling reassuringly I walked past him on the way to the stairs, but I paused before I reached them to turn back to Lloyd. "I'm sorry, you knew him longer than me, I know it has to hurt-"
"Don't worry about it," Lloyd cut me off. He turned away so I couldn't see his face. "I'll be fine, you go have your talk." That was his version of a dismissal, and I took it as such.
Buffy and Faith were still in Buffy's room when I walked in. Buffy was standing by a dresser and Faith was lying on the bed. I don't think she was strong enough to stand up long as of yet. In a few hours she'd be better, but for now she was a little under the weather. They were smiling so I assumed their conversation was going well.
"Hey, if it isn't Slayer number three," Faith said as I walked in.
"So I keep hearing," I murmured. My eyes shifted to the red and black ax thing Buffy was carrying. It was a little scythe like, and the handle was actually a wooden sword. There was another place to hold it near the ax head. "So that's what they're talking about, looks kinda cool."
Buffy glanced down at the ax. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?"
"What's it for?" I asked.
She shrugged "Willow's working on it right now, but for now I just know that Caleb didn't want me having it, and that it's a weapon for Slayers."
I raised an eyebrow. "For Slayers? How does that work?"
"It's hard to explain, here, you'll see," Buffy said as she handed it to me.
I took it by the handle, and it was like a buzz went up my arm. The ax carried a feeling with it, a sort of power. I felt confident, sure of myself. It felt like it belonged to me, like it was made just for me. With that in mind I handed it back. Anything made just for you was a lie, or at least normally it was.
"Nifty."
Buffy smirked. "Something like that."
There was an awkward silence. The three of us hadn't talked alone before, and when we had talked it was all business, normally about us going to attack something, or me filling them in on my vampire problems. In a more casual setting none of us knew what to say.
"So how're things going with you?" Buffy asked.
That was a good question, and it took me a moment to answer it. I didn't want to bring Todd into it, for fear of uncomfortable conversation, so I decided to stick with my other problems. "I think I'd be fine if I leave out all the vampire crap that's going on," I murmured.
Both Faith and Buffy looked a little confused. "What vampire problems, I haven't seen a lot of vampire in town recently," Buffy stated.
"Don't worry about it, just a few aquantinces of mine showing up, problems with the Boss and all. I'm handling it, sort of," I said.
"Are you sure? If this is a big problem we might be able to do-"
"Look Buffy, it's nice of you to offer, but really, it'll be okay. You have to worry about the First, I have my problems," I said, cutting her off. "I'll help you fight your fight, but I've got to take care of mine on my own." The words felt like they were true, almost as if I really couldn't have anyone else helping.
Buffy didn't look happy with me. "It's not just my fight, it's the world's fight. If the First gets past us we're all dead."
I shrugged, almost uncaring. "It might be the world's fight, but I still have to live long enough to be in it," I pointed out.
"You've been doing a good job so far," Faith pointed out.
I bit my lip not to say anything. Sure, I had kept myself alive, but I hadn't been doing a good job. If I had Todd wouldn't have been dead. Surely there would have been something I could have done to help him.
"Look, Beth, I understand where you're coming from," Buffy started, "but you need to lay off on the 'old aquantinces' evil vampire bit."
Frowning I looked up at her. "Sure, you know where I'm coming from. You've fought off vampires and saved the world a few times. Honestly though, I think my scenario's worse than yours was. There's some unknown master vampire out to get me who just happens to have my best friend working for me and my past life lover use to be his best man." That last part surprised me a bit, I hadn't known that for sure, but it felt true.
Buffy and Faith were just staring at me. "What?" Buffy asked for both of them. I just shook my head and turned around to open the door and leave. All of a sudden Buffy grabbed my shoulder. "what's going on?" she asked, demanding the answer.
I shrugged her hand off. "You know what, I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out. Everything's confusing and it's none of your business. You deal with your emotional problems and I'll take care of mine, and then we can both go off and save the world. How does that sound?"
"My problems aren't your business and they're not getting in our way," Buffy pointed out.
"The fact that you were screwing my brother, and are still somewhat attached to him does matter just a little, Buff," I stated mostly out of spite. She had ticked me off and now I was just angry.
Buffy took a step back, not in defeat, but more out of indifference. "Fine. Whatever. You go and keep yourself safe from the big bad boss. We'll be here trying to save the world." That caught me by surprise, and I could only stare for the first few moments. Buffy stared back, firm and unyielding. She had made some point, which I was still trying to figure out, but it was an important point.
One thing was obvious. The conversation was over and there wasn't anything left to say. Without another word I turned and left the room. This time she didn't stop me.
I wanted to talk to someone about this. I almost needed a second opinion. Buffy had basically told me that she didn't think I cared about the group, she thought I was worried solely about the Boss. Was that true? I didn't think so. It mattered to me what everyone else thought, though. We're always told that we shouldn't care what other people think of us, but this was something that mattered.
Sighing I walked downstairs as I thought over everything I had read in the journal today. Nothing really important was coming to mind, except that I had to remember to talk to Alucard. The problem with that was that I hadn't seen him around, I don't think he was staying in the house. There were plenty of other places in town he could spend the night in, so it shouldn't be surprising that he might stay somewhere else for a day.
I took a seat on the couch, trying to smooth over my thoughts. It didn't work. I was so tired of all the emotional problems, the last thing I should have done was fight with Buffy, that didn't help anyone, it just left me feeling crappy. That and very tired. The emotional strain had been getting to me, and I just wanted to sleep.
Sleep at least was easy to come by. In moments I was already dreaming.
~
Airaei was just standing there. She was no longer some secret voice, but instead herself, or her human self. She had taken a shape to talk to me this time so at last I was talking to a face, even if the face was my own.
I need to remember.
*It's not time.*
What else are we waiting for? I need to know. If you won't let me remember then what can I do?
*What you have to. You're just like the others. Be just like the others. You don't have to go on your own. You don't have to be alone in this.*
I heard that Slayers are always alone.
Airaei shook her head, then spoke softly. *Not always.*
I smirked.
You were then, I am now. Buffy and Faith. . . we're always alone, always on our own. Slayers have been set apart sense we were created.
Airaei smiled, somewhat sadly. *No, not always. We chose to be alone. It's a choice, in most cases the right choice.* she paused for a moment. *you have to make that choice.*
When?
*I can't tell you. You'll know when it's time.*
But I need-
*You need nothing.*
~
I woke up with a jerk. Something had happened in my sleep, and with it came the expected headache, this time worse than normal. It felt like someone was pounding in my brain and refused to stop. Growling to myself I got to my feet and stumbled towards the kitchen.
I stopped in the doorway when I saw Alucard standing in a corner. He was just standing, not heating up a package of blood or anything else. He glanced up when I came in and his eyes widened in surprise. "I thought you were sleeping," he murmured.
I nodded. "I was."
"If you want I can leave," he said softly.
Shaking my head I said, "That's okay, I just needed some medicine." He nodded slowly and I forced myself to look away from him. I focused all my attention on what I was doing as I pulled the bottle out of the cupboard and found a water bottle in some of the extra food supplies from yesterday. After swallowing the pills I glanced at Alucard, then quickly looked away. He was standing there, staring carefully strait ahead of himself. Neither of us were comfortable.
Instead of striking up a conversation I left the room, walking by the back door as I headed for the living room. The door opened though and I stopped in my tracks. Spike walked in looking tired and a little bit pissed.
"Spike," I said, he glanced up at me.
"Hey kid, what have you been up to?" Spike asked.
I shrugged. "Oh, the norm. Getting head aches and dealing with potentials, and you?"
"Girl troubles," he said with a half smile.
"Sounds about right."
"What's been happening here?" he asked.
"Nothing much. Buffy's back, Faith got into a tight spot. One of the watcher's died and I don't think any of the other Slayers like me much," I said it all as if it were nothing.
Spiked simply nodded. "Right then. I'd expect nothing less happening in Sunnydale. If we all live through this we're really going to have to relocate."
That made me grin. "I'm thinking something on the east coast, I haven't been there in awhile," I suggested.
"Maybe New York. It might be a little crowded, but it's not a bad place," Spike added.
"Do you think Buffy would go for it?"
He shrugged. "Dunno, she'd have her work cut out for her. That place is swarming with demons," Spike pointed out.
"And Sunnydale's a good old walk in the park?" I asked.
"Good point."
Spike glanced out the window, then around the corner into the living room. "It's a bit late, shouldn't you be sleeping?" he asked.
I grinned. "No rest for the wicked."
He frowned. "You better not be getting into trouble. I don't have time to deal with all that."
"No worries, I'll take care of it," I said.
"Right then, if you say so," Spike muttered, clearly not believing me. "I'm going downstairs. You stay out of trouble," he said sternly. I gave him my best innocent smile and he walked off muttering about how he was going to have to send someone to rescue me when I get into a mess.
I watched him go with a smile. It felt good having talked to Spike. It might not have been a long conversation, but it had been such a long time sense we had talked that just exchanging a few words made me feel better. So much better in fact that I felt like taking on another challenge, or at least getting one out of the way.
Taking a deep breath I turned and walked back into the kitchen where Alucard was still just standing. He watched me as I came back in. For just a second he looked surprised to see me, then the look quickly vanished behind the emotionless mask he was using. We stared at each other for a long moment as I tried to figure out a good way to start this. Finally I settled on something simple.
"We've got to talk."
~
Yay! Finished. *big sigh* It took long enough. I had to delete four pages cause it sounded really bad, and I'm still not sure I like the rewrite, but it's defiantly better. So, anywho, two more chapters! And one week to write them. . . -.- Wish me luck.
Maude: Okay, what can I say? I lied.
Ninii the Lucil33t: when I first read your review it made me so happy! Ah, I'm smiling again just thinking about it. I know how you feel! And the ending? *thinks a moment* plot twist coming, plus some new changes are gonna be thrown in. . . I had it planned, but I'm changing plans a little. *shrugs* it'll be what it is. Rambling is good! Thanks for the review!
Chapter 17
I had brought the book downstairs to the living room and just started reading it. It started out slow, mostly just giving dates of different events that didn't seem very important. Then it started talking about the vault, but mostly it just mentioned visits.
One thing I found interesting was that Airaei never really felt excited to visit the vault, not until later on. When she 'remembered' the prophecy her interest perked. It was if she finally thought my life might be interesting. It wasn't until I came back to life that she really mentioned me, using my name and everything.
The whole thing felt rather formal, as if someone was telling her to write it and she had to follow some sort of pattern. Then, about twenty pages from the end, things changed a little.
It had gone back a couple of weeks, back before she remembered the prophecy. It was if she had a second journal hidden here, one for her eyes only. Almost the entire thing was complaining about her parents, saying how she was going to leave once she finished with the vault, and talking about someone who I think was her lover.
Dexion was human, a few years older than her. He was a guard for her family and often fought in the arena. Her father had him sent away after he noticed that Airaei and him were getting close. He had several suitors in mind for her, none of which she liked.
The hole section sounded like one huge complaint. As far as I could tell Airaei was a spoiled brat, who truly did have good intentions but didn't realize she wasn't really helping anyone. Why Dexion liked her had me stumped, but maybe she was nice some of the time.
Which brought me to my other thought: Dexion. I hadn't remembered him, not really. His name had come to mind once while the memories flashed by, but I didn't really remember him. He seemed to be a huge part of her life, though, and everything else in her life that really mattered had shown up in some form. Her father, the arena, her brother. . . Adding all of this factors together a thought had come to mind.
Alucard had shown up in a memory. Only for a second, but he was there. I couldn't help thinking about last night, about him kissing me, and those thoughts kept bringing me back to the same question. Could Alucard and Dexion be the same person?
It made sense, it was possible, but at the same time, highly unlikely. Or was it? I mean, he knew so much about me, about her, and Zeke had mentioned love. . .
I threw that thought out right away. Alucard was a vampire, he couldn't love. Then again, Spike had been in love with Buffy, but was that the same thing? Did it matter? It wasn't as if I wanted him to love me, I certainty didn't feel that way about him.
All my thoughts were jumbled together, so I decide to focus on something else. Flipping through the book I turned back to the prophecy's page. Once again I studied the words.
The exact meaning behind them was basically 'The Slayer will kill the last vampire or die by --' it gave some date that was harder still to translate, but was sometime very soon, as in probably the next week. Time was running out.
The problem I had with the prophecy was that it didn't specify me being the Slayer. It was obvious I was, every time they had used the phrase they had implied it was me, but normally Airaei would have stated which Slayer. I had found vague references to Faith and Buffy, but they had been labeled 'first' and 'second' Slayers, I had been the third.
So maybe if I changed a couple of words, giving the term Slayer a title. . . I would have to talk to Chris. He might have some ideas on it. Quickly I got to my feet and jogged to the kitchen.
"'Ey Chris, what kind of words did Airaei use to identify me in the diary? Just in general" I asked, pulling a chair out to sit in as I grabbed a spare piece of paper.
Chris watched what I was doing as he rattled off ideas. "She never used your name, sometimes she actually used her own. Other times it was just Slayer, or 'the third Slayer'. Once it was the internal Slayer. . . Why're we brainstorming?" he asked.
I held my hand up, asking for a moment as I scribbled down different forms of that sentence, using each of the different names but leaving the rest of the prophecy the same. When I finished with all the different ideas I handed it over to Chris.
"Someone changed the name, that was the problem," I explained. "We just have to figure out which of the others would have worked, without changing any other part of the sentence."
Chris scrolled a finger over the page, his eyes followed it as he read through our options. He pulled out a pen and started crossing off a couple.
"Okay, if we don't change anything but the name, we can knock the options down to 'third Slayer' and 'internal Slayer'. The others wouldn't make any sense," Chris murmured as he looked over the list again. He didn't seem happy with our choices though. "Something's missing," he muttered.
I took the list back, staring at the options. "Yeah, this one says I'm going to die," I said, pointing to the sentence saying 'third Slayer, "and this one says I'll kill the bad guys, but it still says all vampires," I murmured, pointing to the sentence with 'internal Slayer'.
"So, it doesn't change much," Lloyd asked from the sidelines. Chris and I both nodded without saying anything.
"So, maybe there's another way to say one of the two, or maybe we could change one of the others," Chris suggested.
I nodded, thinking about it. "Maybe. . ." I murmured, staring at them. Then and idea came to me. "What if we combined them?" I asked.
Chris looked up. "What?"
"There are ways to combine words, so that they kind of have a double meaning to them. Is there a way to group these together?" I asked, pointing to our choices.
Chris grabbed the paper again, he started scribbling on it, taking notes. I peered over his shoulder as he worked out his ideas. After many failed attempts, he finally put the paper down, pointing to a final sentence.
"There, that's it. It's almost identical to the book but--"
"but it changes the meaning to this word," I said, pointing to the word 'vampire.'
Chris nodded as Lloyd got up and walked over to us. He stared at the paper for a moment before stepping back. "Okay, I don't get it, explain it to me."
Chris smirked, but started to write out the means to each word. "In this case it's fairly simple. You still have the date, right here," he pointed to it, "Then the name" he pointed to it, "and this section right here," he said, pointing to the options, "originally meant she'd kill all the vampires, or die. That's the only part that's changed. It still says she might die, but the vampire part is now saying that she'll kill the last super vampire, or greater vampire, there's an emphasis on the vampire bit."
Lloyd just stared at us for a moment. "What does that mean?"
"It means," I said as I started to grin, "that I'm going to fight off the umber vamps."
Chris nodded, also grinning. "We figured it out," he said happily.
I nodded back. "Yeah, we did. So we're either going to win, or I'm going to get killed." Despite the somewhat pessimistic options I was happy. Sure, I might die, but I had known that since this hole thing started. At least now we had made some progress.
"There's only one thing I don't understand," Lloyd murmured. Chris and I both looked at him. "Why does Airaei use the term 'internal Slayer' when talking about you?"
There wasn't time to answer, because at that moment Andrew burst into the dinning room, carrying two paper bags, stuffed full of food. "Hey guys. Would you mind clearing off the table, or just helping me unload these groceries?" He asked, cheerfully.
I glanced at Lloyd, who shrugged. "Well, we're done here." Nodding agreement I helped move our stuff, then went out to the car to grab some more stuff.
When I got back inside girls were already starting to grab at things. I brought the bags I was carrying into the living room, Chris who was also carrying bags followed me in. After a couple more trips everything was inside and the word had got out. The girls were grabbing one or two things, then heading off.
"It was pretty exciting," Andrew said. "A whole grocery store, just abandoned. Food lying around everywhere. The produce was on its way to funky town, but the other stuff was just--"
"Of for god's sake!" Giles muttered as he entered the room, surveying the scene.
Andrew glanced at him. "Hi Mr. Giles. Okay, I did a little looting, which is technically unethical, but this girls need to eat--"
Giles cut in impatiently. "Andrew, things are getting very dire around here, and we've got more important things to worry about then-- ooh! Jaffa Cakes!" Giles stopped complaining and grabbed whatever Jaffa Cakes were, along with one or two other things.
"The apples still looked pretty good, so everyone make sure they check those out," Andrew announced to everyone.
I ignored the announcement and grabbed at the groceries myself. After choosing a box of chocolate pop tarts and a couple cans of soda I backed off, letting the others get into it as I enjoyed my snacks.
Just then the door opened and Anya, Xander, Willow and Dawn returned. They didn't look like they had a successful trip.
Giles swallowed what he was eating as Xander walked into the living room. "Did you find Buffy?" Giles asked.
"No," Xander answered.
"But you did that spell with the little lights," Andrew said, "The locator."
"It crapped out on us," Anya stated.
"No it didn't. . . not exactly," Dawn disagreed.
"It just took us to an empty house," Willow explained. "She must've moved on already."
"Well, I'm afraid there's rather worse news here," He glanced toward the Potentials, who were all still involved with the food. He led the group of four off to th side for a moment, Andrew tagged along, as did Lloyd, who had joined in with the little group. I watched them talk as I ate my pop tarts.
When they all finished Lloyd came back to us. "They're worried about Faith, might want to go out and look for her and the girls."
"They have been gone long," I agreed. "Any chance of me going?"
"I don't know," Lloyd admitted. "You'll have to ask Giles, I think he's just sending the four of them back out. Besides, we have some wok to--"
"Oh, lay off it. I just helped fix the prophecy, I'm sure I can go on a rescue mention," I muttered.
Lloyd glanced at me, not approving of my interruption. "Fine, go talk to Giles about it," he said a little sourly.
I took the opportunity to avoid further research and made my escape. Giles was still talking to everyone, I stepped in and asked if I might be able to help with the rescue job. Giles agreed that it might be a good idea for another Slayer to tag along.
We all got into a car and Willow drove to the spot the armory was supposed to be at. Right when we got out of the car Willow cast the locator spell, this time to fin Faith. A couple of little lights appeared. They wondered in circles for a moment, then took off in a hurry down one of the tunnels that led to the sewers. I went first, in case we ran into any bad guys.
After a few minutes we heard the sound of people, the lights were headed towards them. Quickening our pace we met up with the group in just over a minute.
The potentials were scratched and bruised and bleeding. A couple of them were dragging an unconscious Faith, the rest were helping each other. Buffy was there in front leading them out of the tunnels. They all looked surprised to see us.
"Buffy! Are you okay?" Willow asked, stepping up to the group.
Buffy nodded, "help the others, we need to get them cleaned up," she ordered. We all got to work helping some walk or lending a hand in carrying someone.
"What happened?" I asked as I helped to support one of the potentials that was limping forward.
"It was a trap," Kennedy said. "There was a bomb, and then. . ."
"Umber vampires," Amanda finished for her. "They were waiting for us."
"Is everyone okay?" Willow asked, she quickly looked Kennedy over, making sure nothing was wrong with her girlfriend. "Who're we missing?"
"Where's Todd?" I asked, for the first time noticing he wasn't here People ignored my question though, everyone was in such a hurry to get the others out. It didn't take us long to get back above ground, but I wasn't giving it my all. Once I had the girl I had been helping in a car I grabbed Kennedy to get her attention.
"What happened to Todd?" I couldn't keep a hint of fear out of my voice.
Kennedy looked uneasy. I'm sure she was tired and didn't want to have to worry about me freaking out, but I wanted to know. "He. . . the explosion just happened, he had been near the front. . . I'm sorry Beth."
Nodding I let go of her arm. This wasn't the time to create a scene, this girls had to get back to the house. Everyone climbed into some vehicle and we were off towards the house. I was silent the hole trip.
The weird part was I didn't think about any of this, I just sat and stared at the window, and realized that it was a beautiful day out. Summer was coming and it was nice. These weren't normal thoughts for me, but they were nicer ones than thinking about how one of your best friends just died in an explosion.
Once we got to the house I once again helped girls move around. Buffy and Willow sent me all around the house for anything we could use as bandages. We ran out of things pretty quickly and finally I just grabbed a few sheets and started tearing them up. It was better than nothing. The watchers were helping, none of them had noticed Todd's absence yet. I didn't know to say anything about it, so I just kept tearing up sheets and bandaging up potentials.
I picked up a stack of newly made bandages and dropped them off to all of the potentials that were helping out around the house. After I finished I ended up in the living room, helping to stop the bleeding of one of the girls. Then Giles and Xander brought in Faith, they both carefully carried her upstairs to Buffy's room. Buffy herself had been helping out.
From what I had managed to pick up from the girls I knew that Faith had gotten caught in a trap, a bomb had gone off, when everyone woke up they gathered those still alive and tried to pull them out. They were attacked though, by umber vamps, and were almost killed, when Buffy shows up carrying this assume new ax thing which she uses to kill the vamps with. Suddenly the day's saved, they're all leaving, and that's about the time we met up with them.
Chris walked into the living room where I was bandaging up one of the girl's arm. He saw me and hustled over. "Hey, Beth, need any help here?" I shook my head, not looking up at him. "Okay, have you seen Todd? Lloyd wanted to talk to him."
"Um. . ." I murmured as I continued to wrap the arm. "I. . . um. . ."
"What?" Chris asked, not seeing any major problems.
I shook my head, pulling the bandage tight as I tied it. "Hey, watch it!" the girl snapped. I muttered an apology as I loosened the knot a little, then stood up, heading towards the basement, trying to find someone else to help.
Chris followed me. "So where is he?" He asked.
I shook my head. "He's. . . not here."
"Where'd he go?"
I hesitated a step. "He. . ." I couldn't say it, I was trying not to let it affect me. Todd was dead, he was dead. I knew people would die in this fight, but. . . I didn't expect someone I knew to get hurt, not seriously hurt anyway.
"Beth, what's wrong?" Chris asked, realizing something was up.
Again I shook my head. "Todd. . . well, Todd. . . didn't make it out."
I caught a quick glance of Chris's face, he looked surprised, I'd bet anything he would have asked another question, but I didn't want to answer it. So I took the cowards way out. I just about ran to the basement, closing the door after me. Leaning against the door I took a shaky breath, hoping more than anything that Chris wouldn't follow me in here. The last thing I wanted was to have to actually talk about this.
He shouldn't have gone. He was a watcher, they were suppose to watch, not go off and fight the bad guys. That was my job, I was a Slayer. If I had gone instead. . . stupid research. If I hadn't had to read that stupid book, or let's take it back a step, if I hadn't even gotten cursed then none of this would have happened. Which of course didn't mean anything, because there was another apocalypse coming and that could kill everyone.
I just never thought it would kill us. Or at least not those of us I cared about. It was selfish of me, I know, but even when I felt bad for the potentials who died, it never truly bothered me. It was sad, but that was it. But now I didn't know what to do. Todd was gone, and that was it. There was nothing I could do about it, I hadn't even been there to help.
Shaking my head I took a step down the stairs and sat down. I couldn't clear my mind, there wasn't anything that could make me stop thinking about Todd being dead. It was too repetitive, just like a song you couldn't get out of your head, only worse. There was a way to get a song out of your head though, just find something more annoying to sing about, or in this case think about.
So now it was a toss up between Zeke and Alucard. Who would be worse to think about?
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I glanced behind me. Someone wanted my attention. "You can come in," I called.
The door opened to show Lloyd waiting in the door way. "You okay?" he asked. I studied him for a moment. He didn't look grief stricken, or sad, or anything. His face was carefully blank, but he sounded genuine in his concern.
"Yeah, I'll be alright," I murmured as I stood back up. Lloyd nodded, standing aside so that I could walk out. I forced a smile as I walked by him. "Do you know where Buffy is? I think I'd like to talk to her for a moment."
"What about?" Lloyd asked.
I shrugged. "Well, we are in the middle of an apocalypse. I think I'll start with that," I murmured.
He smirked. "Yeah, that's a good start. She's in her room with Faith."
Smiling reassuringly I walked past him on the way to the stairs, but I paused before I reached them to turn back to Lloyd. "I'm sorry, you knew him longer than me, I know it has to hurt-"
"Don't worry about it," Lloyd cut me off. He turned away so I couldn't see his face. "I'll be fine, you go have your talk." That was his version of a dismissal, and I took it as such.
Buffy and Faith were still in Buffy's room when I walked in. Buffy was standing by a dresser and Faith was lying on the bed. I don't think she was strong enough to stand up long as of yet. In a few hours she'd be better, but for now she was a little under the weather. They were smiling so I assumed their conversation was going well.
"Hey, if it isn't Slayer number three," Faith said as I walked in.
"So I keep hearing," I murmured. My eyes shifted to the red and black ax thing Buffy was carrying. It was a little scythe like, and the handle was actually a wooden sword. There was another place to hold it near the ax head. "So that's what they're talking about, looks kinda cool."
Buffy glanced down at the ax. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?"
"What's it for?" I asked.
She shrugged "Willow's working on it right now, but for now I just know that Caleb didn't want me having it, and that it's a weapon for Slayers."
I raised an eyebrow. "For Slayers? How does that work?"
"It's hard to explain, here, you'll see," Buffy said as she handed it to me.
I took it by the handle, and it was like a buzz went up my arm. The ax carried a feeling with it, a sort of power. I felt confident, sure of myself. It felt like it belonged to me, like it was made just for me. With that in mind I handed it back. Anything made just for you was a lie, or at least normally it was.
"Nifty."
Buffy smirked. "Something like that."
There was an awkward silence. The three of us hadn't talked alone before, and when we had talked it was all business, normally about us going to attack something, or me filling them in on my vampire problems. In a more casual setting none of us knew what to say.
"So how're things going with you?" Buffy asked.
That was a good question, and it took me a moment to answer it. I didn't want to bring Todd into it, for fear of uncomfortable conversation, so I decided to stick with my other problems. "I think I'd be fine if I leave out all the vampire crap that's going on," I murmured.
Both Faith and Buffy looked a little confused. "What vampire problems, I haven't seen a lot of vampire in town recently," Buffy stated.
"Don't worry about it, just a few aquantinces of mine showing up, problems with the Boss and all. I'm handling it, sort of," I said.
"Are you sure? If this is a big problem we might be able to do-"
"Look Buffy, it's nice of you to offer, but really, it'll be okay. You have to worry about the First, I have my problems," I said, cutting her off. "I'll help you fight your fight, but I've got to take care of mine on my own." The words felt like they were true, almost as if I really couldn't have anyone else helping.
Buffy didn't look happy with me. "It's not just my fight, it's the world's fight. If the First gets past us we're all dead."
I shrugged, almost uncaring. "It might be the world's fight, but I still have to live long enough to be in it," I pointed out.
"You've been doing a good job so far," Faith pointed out.
I bit my lip not to say anything. Sure, I had kept myself alive, but I hadn't been doing a good job. If I had Todd wouldn't have been dead. Surely there would have been something I could have done to help him.
"Look, Beth, I understand where you're coming from," Buffy started, "but you need to lay off on the 'old aquantinces' evil vampire bit."
Frowning I looked up at her. "Sure, you know where I'm coming from. You've fought off vampires and saved the world a few times. Honestly though, I think my scenario's worse than yours was. There's some unknown master vampire out to get me who just happens to have my best friend working for me and my past life lover use to be his best man." That last part surprised me a bit, I hadn't known that for sure, but it felt true.
Buffy and Faith were just staring at me. "What?" Buffy asked for both of them. I just shook my head and turned around to open the door and leave. All of a sudden Buffy grabbed my shoulder. "what's going on?" she asked, demanding the answer.
I shrugged her hand off. "You know what, I don't know. I'm trying to figure that out. Everything's confusing and it's none of your business. You deal with your emotional problems and I'll take care of mine, and then we can both go off and save the world. How does that sound?"
"My problems aren't your business and they're not getting in our way," Buffy pointed out.
"The fact that you were screwing my brother, and are still somewhat attached to him does matter just a little, Buff," I stated mostly out of spite. She had ticked me off and now I was just angry.
Buffy took a step back, not in defeat, but more out of indifference. "Fine. Whatever. You go and keep yourself safe from the big bad boss. We'll be here trying to save the world." That caught me by surprise, and I could only stare for the first few moments. Buffy stared back, firm and unyielding. She had made some point, which I was still trying to figure out, but it was an important point.
One thing was obvious. The conversation was over and there wasn't anything left to say. Without another word I turned and left the room. This time she didn't stop me.
I wanted to talk to someone about this. I almost needed a second opinion. Buffy had basically told me that she didn't think I cared about the group, she thought I was worried solely about the Boss. Was that true? I didn't think so. It mattered to me what everyone else thought, though. We're always told that we shouldn't care what other people think of us, but this was something that mattered.
Sighing I walked downstairs as I thought over everything I had read in the journal today. Nothing really important was coming to mind, except that I had to remember to talk to Alucard. The problem with that was that I hadn't seen him around, I don't think he was staying in the house. There were plenty of other places in town he could spend the night in, so it shouldn't be surprising that he might stay somewhere else for a day.
I took a seat on the couch, trying to smooth over my thoughts. It didn't work. I was so tired of all the emotional problems, the last thing I should have done was fight with Buffy, that didn't help anyone, it just left me feeling crappy. That and very tired. The emotional strain had been getting to me, and I just wanted to sleep.
Sleep at least was easy to come by. In moments I was already dreaming.
~
Airaei was just standing there. She was no longer some secret voice, but instead herself, or her human self. She had taken a shape to talk to me this time so at last I was talking to a face, even if the face was my own.
I need to remember.
*It's not time.*
What else are we waiting for? I need to know. If you won't let me remember then what can I do?
*What you have to. You're just like the others. Be just like the others. You don't have to go on your own. You don't have to be alone in this.*
I heard that Slayers are always alone.
Airaei shook her head, then spoke softly. *Not always.*
I smirked.
You were then, I am now. Buffy and Faith. . . we're always alone, always on our own. Slayers have been set apart sense we were created.
Airaei smiled, somewhat sadly. *No, not always. We chose to be alone. It's a choice, in most cases the right choice.* she paused for a moment. *you have to make that choice.*
When?
*I can't tell you. You'll know when it's time.*
But I need-
*You need nothing.*
~
I woke up with a jerk. Something had happened in my sleep, and with it came the expected headache, this time worse than normal. It felt like someone was pounding in my brain and refused to stop. Growling to myself I got to my feet and stumbled towards the kitchen.
I stopped in the doorway when I saw Alucard standing in a corner. He was just standing, not heating up a package of blood or anything else. He glanced up when I came in and his eyes widened in surprise. "I thought you were sleeping," he murmured.
I nodded. "I was."
"If you want I can leave," he said softly.
Shaking my head I said, "That's okay, I just needed some medicine." He nodded slowly and I forced myself to look away from him. I focused all my attention on what I was doing as I pulled the bottle out of the cupboard and found a water bottle in some of the extra food supplies from yesterday. After swallowing the pills I glanced at Alucard, then quickly looked away. He was standing there, staring carefully strait ahead of himself. Neither of us were comfortable.
Instead of striking up a conversation I left the room, walking by the back door as I headed for the living room. The door opened though and I stopped in my tracks. Spike walked in looking tired and a little bit pissed.
"Spike," I said, he glanced up at me.
"Hey kid, what have you been up to?" Spike asked.
I shrugged. "Oh, the norm. Getting head aches and dealing with potentials, and you?"
"Girl troubles," he said with a half smile.
"Sounds about right."
"What's been happening here?" he asked.
"Nothing much. Buffy's back, Faith got into a tight spot. One of the watcher's died and I don't think any of the other Slayers like me much," I said it all as if it were nothing.
Spiked simply nodded. "Right then. I'd expect nothing less happening in Sunnydale. If we all live through this we're really going to have to relocate."
That made me grin. "I'm thinking something on the east coast, I haven't been there in awhile," I suggested.
"Maybe New York. It might be a little crowded, but it's not a bad place," Spike added.
"Do you think Buffy would go for it?"
He shrugged. "Dunno, she'd have her work cut out for her. That place is swarming with demons," Spike pointed out.
"And Sunnydale's a good old walk in the park?" I asked.
"Good point."
Spike glanced out the window, then around the corner into the living room. "It's a bit late, shouldn't you be sleeping?" he asked.
I grinned. "No rest for the wicked."
He frowned. "You better not be getting into trouble. I don't have time to deal with all that."
"No worries, I'll take care of it," I said.
"Right then, if you say so," Spike muttered, clearly not believing me. "I'm going downstairs. You stay out of trouble," he said sternly. I gave him my best innocent smile and he walked off muttering about how he was going to have to send someone to rescue me when I get into a mess.
I watched him go with a smile. It felt good having talked to Spike. It might not have been a long conversation, but it had been such a long time sense we had talked that just exchanging a few words made me feel better. So much better in fact that I felt like taking on another challenge, or at least getting one out of the way.
Taking a deep breath I turned and walked back into the kitchen where Alucard was still just standing. He watched me as I came back in. For just a second he looked surprised to see me, then the look quickly vanished behind the emotionless mask he was using. We stared at each other for a long moment as I tried to figure out a good way to start this. Finally I settled on something simple.
"We've got to talk."
~
Yay! Finished. *big sigh* It took long enough. I had to delete four pages cause it sounded really bad, and I'm still not sure I like the rewrite, but it's defiantly better. So, anywho, two more chapters! And one week to write them. . . -.- Wish me luck.
Maude: Okay, what can I say? I lied.
Ninii the Lucil33t: when I first read your review it made me so happy! Ah, I'm smiling again just thinking about it. I know how you feel! And the ending? *thinks a moment* plot twist coming, plus some new changes are gonna be thrown in. . . I had it planned, but I'm changing plans a little. *shrugs* it'll be what it is. Rambling is good! Thanks for the review!