One More Time

by Rave Luki

OMG I FINISHED! Buffy died once, we have Kendra, Kendra died and we get Faith. And when Buffy died again? We get the last person we'd ever suspect. Heads into season 7, but let's just say there's a new twist to things... . Please R&R

19. Chapter 18

Special note: First, I'm back *waves hello to everyone* Japan was fun. Second, I made some important changes in ch. 16 during Liz's talk with the watchers. Sorry I forgot to include it at first.

During "Chosen"

Chapter 18

"You're right," Alucard stated, matter-of-fact.

"You're Dexion," I said in the same monotone.

Alucard flinched, he hadn't expected that, or at least hadn't expected it right away. Surprising him would increase the chances of me getting an honest answer, so I asked bluntly, and I'll deal with the answer when it comes.

"You finally read that book?" he asked, regaining his composure.

I nodded. "Yeah, Lloyd wanted me to see if I found out anything with the prophecy."

"Did you?" He asked.

"Yeah, we figure out that-- wait, you're not changing the topic here," I said, catching myself before I went off in another direction.

Smirking he shrugged. "Yeah, I'm Dexion."

Mentally I took a step back. Honestly I hadn't expected him to answer if the answer was yes. While I maintained a somewhat calm appearance my mind was going in circles at full speed, getting me absolutely nowhere. And underneath all the confusion lingered a thought, he was my lover. He was Dexion. That should mean something, and in a way it did, but it didn't feel like it meant anything to me. To Airaei and whatever part of her was in me it meant the world, but to me? I was just confused.

"I see," I said, knowing that I had to say something.

His eyes bore into me as he tried to guess my thoughts. "I answered your question. Now you answer mine."

This could go bad, but. . . "Sure."

"We kissed," he hesitated for a moment, not sure of himself. "Because of that. . . well. . . I'm not sure how to ask. . . how did you feel about it?" Now he looked quite nervous as he avoided my gaze.

I was actually somewhat prepared for the question seeing as how I had asked it myself on several occasions. "It was. . . nice, kind of."

Alucard turned back to me, surprised. "Kind of?"

"One moment you're fighting Zeke, then next you're kissing me. I don't care how good of a kisser you are, that's awkward," I said quickly and without thinking.

Alucard was grinning. "Did you just say I was a good kisser?"

I glared at him. "That's not the point--"

"I think it's a very good point," he said, teasing me. "You think I'm a good kisser."

Sighing I gave up trying to argue with him. "You've had a few years to get good at it," I pointed out.

He looked almost smug, but at the same time was relaxed and at ease. Apparently me not being pissed at him made him feel better. "Your turn for a question."

Alternating questions? While in theory it sounds good it rarely works with me. "Why did you kiss me? Honestly."

Pausing for a moment Alucard thought this through. "Well, Zeke cast a spell, more to be annoying than anything I think."

I nodded. "Yeah, he seemed rather peeved for some reason."

Shrugging Alucard continued, "Boss can do that, but anyway he cast a spell. Obviously it was a lust spell, not quite sure which one, there are a couple to choose from, but suddenly I needed to touch you." He was looking away again.

There was awkward silence for a moment before I said, "Zeke had mentioned something about--"

"My question," Alucard butted in. See, alternating questions doesn't work.

"Fine, ask away," I muttered.

He had to think up a question. "What was it you found out from the book?" he inquired.

"Oh, um, the prophecy, we figure out what was wrong with it," I stated.

"What was it?" he asked.

I grinned. "My question." His eyes narrowed but he nodded for me to go ahead. "Zeke had mentioned something about love. What do you think he meant by that?"

Behold the awkward silence that plagued this conversation. We were just staring at each other, and it was Alucard's turn to speak, and he wasn't saying anything. All we were missing was an annoying dropping noise in the background. If only the sink leaked. . .

"I. . ." He started, then he shook his head. "I've been thinking about that," his voice was soft and if there was anything to distract you from it you probably wouldn't have heard him right.

"Back when. . . well, when Airaei was alive, things were complicated. I loved her, I loved her with all of my heart. But I was human, that wasn't that big of a deal," Alucard began. "Lerians never really liked humans. We were inferior. We could be their servants, but never equals, and heaven forbid one of them would befriend us.

"But Airaei was a Slayer, the Slayer. She was born the night a Slayer died, and ever sense childhood she had the strength, the skills, she just skipped the potential stage. Her clan knew that she would interact with humans, she was their protector. How ever she was the Lerians' protector too. So instead of letting her seek out vampires they had her join the games.

"The arena was a favorite among both Lerian and human. The Lerians seeing nothing wrong with the death of humans didn't mind watching them slaughter each other. When Airaei became a favorite among the crowd they were proud. She was stronger, faster, smarter than everyone she faced.

"While the Lerians celebrated having a celebrity among them, her opponents didn't like it. There were several people who owned gladiators that were suffering from her victories. They sent everything they had at her, and she defeated every monster and man sent her way.

"One of them, Arius , hated her. Literally, he despised Airaei. He sent demon after demon to kill her, he set traps that no one should have lived through, but she did. So he resorted to something else. Instead of operating inside the arena he hired a vampire who had his own reasons for wanting Airaei out of the way.

"The vampire thought up a simple yet ingenious plan. He didn't attack Airaei directly, but instead changed one of her friends. He sent his new vampire to kill her, and it worked."

Alucard stopped his story there. He was looking at the floor, his arms crossed over his chest. Troubled was the word I'd use to describe him at this moment.

"Was it you?" I asked.

He glanced up at me. "My question," he said, back to monotone. I looked away, almost embarrassed for asking. "Liz," I looked back at him, "You're right. It was me."

All the questions that were buzzing in my head faded away. I wasn't scared of Alucard, but it was unsettling. He was watching me closely, trying to figure out my reactions to what he had said. I felt it would be good to change the topic from him killing me.

"So was that why he mentioned love? Because you use to love me?" I asked, going back to the original question.

Alucard sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't think so. . ." he muttered. "I think it has something to do with more current feelings. I'm just not sure exactly which ones, or how true the love part is."

"I think," I said, "in my next life, I'm going to be someone painfully boring."

There was a brief pause before Alucard started laughing. It was a nervous laugh caused from pent up emotions, but it was also genuine. "I can't see you as being boring."

I shrugged. "That's the point. It'll be different. Different and lacking in fights and deaths."

"That's for sure," Alucard agreed. "But I still couldn't see you as any one but a Slayer. For the most part you're a good person."

"Being a good person isn't enough."

"No. It's not."

"Do you think we'll win?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Which fight?" He asked.

I specified, "The First." I had been thinking the Boss, but I didn't want to ask that yet.

"Sure. Three Slayers have to be able to do something," Alucard stated.

I shook my head. "I don't know if it's enough. Honestly, I think we need more."

"What're you saying, we kill the three of you a few times then bring you back to life?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No, I'd rather not die, but I'm sure there's something else we can do."

"Let Buffy figure it out. That's what she's good at, right?" he asked.

I hesitated before answering. "That's the thing," I said softly. "I've been letting Buffy figure it out. Then I was letting Faith figure it out. I'm a Slayer too, shouldn't I be doing something?"

Alucard adjusted his weight for a moment, considering what I said. "I think you're just feeling left out. Just because you're not making command decisions doesn't mean you're not doing anything."

"But that's it. I'm not doing anything. So I read a book and solve a riddle. That doesn't help anyone."

He frowned. "That could save you life. Who knows, there might be something in there for you," he seemed positive on that fact.

Sighing I tried to figure out a way to explain how I was feeling. "It might save my life. But it's not helping anyone else."

"You can only do so much Liz," he pointed out.

"It wasn't enough," I muttered looking at my feet.

"Wasn't enough?" he asked.

"Todd died."

He paused for a beat. "When?"

"This morning. He went with Faith and I stayed back because the watchers wanted me to research stuff," I murmured.

"Oh," he said, suddenly understanding. "You think you could have saved him? Maybe killed the guy who got him?"

"It was a bomb," I muttered.

He shrugged, not caring. "Quit being all moppy, it wasn't your fault. Blame it on luck, or the First, or Faith, or whoever the hell you want, but it wasn't your fault."

My eyes narrowed. "You sound so sure, how would you know?"

He stepped away from the counter and walked over to me until he was only about a foot away.

"Because you would have done everything to save him. Fate put you in a different place, it had nothing to do with you." His voice was soothing, gentle. He meant what he was saying, and it was nice to hear it. I could almost believe he was right.

Alucard took half a step closer, his hand moving to my face. Gently he wiped away a tear I hadn't known had been there. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to make the tears stop, but they only flowed faster.

"It's okay, liz," he murmured, pulling me into a hug. I let him hold me for a moment as I cried, my face buried into his shoulder. Even after the tears stopped I stood there in his arms, not even being sure of why.

Finally I pulled away, wiping my eyes to make sure I wasn't crying. Alucard took a step back to give me space, but stayed close enough to touch.

"Thank you," I whispered, taking a step back myself.

Alucard merely nodded, his face once again expressionless. "Are you okay? If you need something I--"

"I'm fine," I interrupted. "I think I just want to go to sleep."

He nodded. "Sounds good."

I wasn't sure what to do now. Just walking out didn't seem right, surely it would make him feel bad, but just saying good night didn't seem right either.

Thinking about it wasn't working, and it was taking too long. We were both uncomfortable just standing here. So I did the first thing that came to mind next.

Quickly I took a step forward and kissed him on the cheek, then I left the kitchen as quickly as I could without looking back.

I had to be bright red as I got back on the couch. Thank god I was still tired, it gave me something to try to do. It took awhile, but when I finally got to sleep I had a fairly normal dream. It had something to do with pumpkins houses, Fairy watchers, mice, and a vampire prince.

~

"Well, what do you think?" Buffy asked.

We all stared at her for a beat, taking in what she had just said. Her plan was. . . ingenious. Completely insane and inconceivable, but pretty damn good.

"That depends," Xander he said, "Are you kidding?"

"You don't think it's a good idea?" Buffy asked insecurely.

Faith hesitated before answering. "It's pretty radical, B."

"It's a lot more than that. Buffy what you're talking about flies in the face of everything we've ever-that every generation has ever tone in the fight against evil," Giles stated as a smile crept onto his face. "I think it's bloody brilliant."

"You mean that?" Buffy asked, she was sincere with the question. Giles's answer meant something to her.

"If you want my opinion," Giles said. They shared a moment of smiling.

Buffy was still smiling warmly. "I really do."

I grinned. "I agree with Giles, this is a kick ass plan."

Willow didn't look so sure. "Whoa hey, not to poop on the party, but I'm the guy who's gonna have to pull this off," she pointed out.

"It is beaucoup d'mojo. . ." said Faith.

"Is it even possible?" Dawn wondered.

"I believe it is," Giles stated, "if what Buffy had told us about this weapon in true."

"Not to careen back to the me subject, but. . . I'm. . . this is beyond anything I've ever done. This is a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girl-friend-has-a-pierced-tongue way," Willow said, getting more nervous by the moment.

Buffy looked at her reassuringly. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could do it."

"I'm just not sure I'm stable enough to-"

"Oh, sure y'are," Anya said with her pessimistic cheerfulness. "You're as stable as the molecules in Mister Fantastic's uniform, am I right?"

"Oh, you just couldn't have picked a worse example," Xander muttered.

Giles ignored their comments. "You're going to do this, Willow. Get the coven on the line, see how they can help. I'll-"

"Oh!" Dawn said suddenly. We all looked at her. "Pierced tongue," she muttered.

Quickly Buffy stepped in. "Dawn should do the research thing."

"Yes you-" Giles started.

"It's cool. Watcher Junior to the library," Dawn muttered. Before leaving she looked at Buffy for a moment. "You get to save the world, I get more homework."

"You could have been in Oxnard," Buffy said.

"I'll start digging up my sources," Giles said. "Literally, actually; there's one or two people I need to talk to who are dead."

"Come on. Let's go assemble the cannon fodder," Anya said to Xander.

"We're not calling them that, sweetie," Xander said.

Anya shrugged. "Not to their faces, what am I, insensitive?"

I turned to Buffy before I followed the two out. "Don't worry. It'll go terrific," then to Willow. "No pressure. We're just saving the world. It's nothing new." Then I walked out.

Everyone I saw was sent to the living room, including my watchers who hadn't sat in on the meeting. They were staying in the house now with the rest of us. I ran down to the basement and called up the girls who were training with Alucard and called everyone up. Alucard saw I was acting happy and asked what was up. I told him Buffy had a plan that would work. He looked skeptical.

We went upstairs and joined the watchers. I squeezed into a seat on the couch, pushing one of the girls a little so that I had room. Alucard stood next to the couch, leaning against the wall, while the watchers had grabbed chairs from the dining room to sit in.

Buffy came into the room, stepping into the little open space that was left. She looked us over. There were too many of us packed too close with her in the middle, but she still looked confident. All inspirational and sergeant like.

"I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil, that it's growing, and I hate that I was chosen to fight it. I wish, a whole lot of the time, that I hadn't been," she smiled wryly, throwing a glance to Kennedy who risked a little grin herself. "but this isn't about wishes. This is about choices. I never had one. I was chosen. And I accept that. I'm not asking you to accept anything. I'm asking you to make your own choice. I believe we can beat this evil-not when it comes, not after its army is ready, but now. Tomorrow morning I'm opening the Seal. I'm going down into the Hellmouth and I'm going to finish it once and for all.

"I've got strong allies: warriors, charms, sorcerers, and I'll need them all. But I'll also need you. Every single one of you. So now you're asking yourself, What makes this different? What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls getting picked off one by one? It's true none of you has the power Faith, Beth and I have. Even if one of us died we can't even be sure that the next girl called is in this room. That's the rule. So here's the part where you make a choice." She took a moment to let this sink in before continuing.

"What if you could have this power? Now. All of you. In every generation one Slayer is born because a bunch of guys that died thousands of years ago made up the rule. They were powerful men," she paused, pointing to Willow. "This woman is more powerful than all of them combined.

"So I say we change the rules. I say my power should be our power. Tomorrow Willow will use the essence of this scythe that contains the energy and history of the Slayers to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, Will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power. Who can stand up, will stand up. Every one of you, and girls we've never known, and generations to come. . . they will have strength they never dreamed of, and more than that, they will have each other. Slayers. Every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?"

The room was silent. No one new what to say. It was a big speech, a huge suggestion. All of the girls in this room would be Slayers. Instead of three we'd have over thirty. If nothing else we could take down a huge amount of the umber vamps before dying. It could work, it would work. We didn't exactly have any other choices.

The potentials didn't move until the words sunk in. Gradually I saw eyes widen, wistful thoughts played across their faces. They could be Slayers. Not the next Slayer, not the one and only chosen to fight the battles. No, they'd be one of many. One of an army. They could know what it was like.

I almost pitied them. Sometimes I wished I was just normal. It would be easier, except I would have been a prissy girl in fluffy dresses, but at the time that hadn't seemed like a bad life style. Then again, if they were all Slayers, that would be kind of normal. Who knows how many there really were? Tons, I'm sure.

But if it worked. . .

"Well, hell, that's an idea," Alucard murmured.

Jordan nodded. "The kind of power it would take to do that spell. . ." Willow heard him and glanced over. He quickly added, "Willow could do it."

Lloyd hid a smile as Willow looked away, now talking to Kennedy. "It should be interesting," he stated. "And what a fight. I suppose that means we'll have to be part of it," he said, not liking the obligation.

"I've seen you fight, you can do fine," I stated. "Give Chris something to throw and Jordan some pixie dust and things will go just swell."

Jordan glared. "I don't use pixie dust."

I shrugged, getting to my feet and stretching. "Uh-huh. Well, what ever you call the magical supplies you use. . . doesn't matter. Just cast some spell and blow things up."

"Are they even going to be fighting near the umber vamps?" Alucard asked.

Hadn't thought about that. "I'm sure Buffy will plan it out. She has all night."

"Someone will have to fight outside the hellmouth, to keep everything from escaping into the city," Lloyd pointed out. "I'm sure we could be used on top."

"Yes, that sounds good," Jordan said. "Now if you don't mind, I have to go see Giles about some 'pixie dust'."

Chris nodded, muttering to himself, "And I need to pick up. . ." he mumbles became incoherent as he walked off, rambling off a list of items.

We watched them go, Lloyd smiling softly. "Todd would have said something now," he said.

I nodded. "Yeah. Something funny, probably."

He sighed. "I guess I should help with the research." I nodded and he stared at me for a moment before nodding back. "You get some rest. You have a big fight tomorrow." And he walked off as well, leaving me and Alucard behind.

"So the Slayer dumps all of this on us. Tells us we're going to fight tomorrow. Goes off to do plans, then everyone expects us to get some rest while we're all on edge?" Alucard asked skeptically.

I smirked. "Yeah. Basically."

"There's no way I'm sleeping tonight," he stated.

"And times going to go by rather slowly," I added. We stood for a moment. "That really sucks."

He nodded. "It does."

"So how do we want to kill the next twenty or so hours?" I asked.

Alucard glanced around the room at all of the potentials who were left. "I could train with them some more, but they'll be too anxious to learn anything. Besides, they have all that natural ability," he said. "So, seeing as there's nothing productive we can do I suggest we raid what's left of the ice cream."

"Is it still good?" I asked, thinking that was a great idea.

He shrugged. "I think so. The freezer stays cold if you don't open it." We both went to check it out. I opened the freezer and we pulled out a few things. The final list: two frozen pizza, a box of ice cream, the last three hot pockets and these enchilada things which were probably kind of nasty tasting, being the equivalent of instant food, but Mexican didn't sound bad.

The house had a gas stove so we were able to still cook everything, and we spent the next twenty or so minutes cooking as we occasionally ate a spoonful of ice-cream while talking about nothing. After mentioning the usual whether and recent events we debated on who would kill the most vamps out of the group of potentials. Alucard started listing off the girls he worked with, most of which I didn't know. When he was finished I asked who the worst fighter was, and once he told me I stated that she was going to win the death count.

When we were finished cooking girls seemed to pop up out of nowhere to grab food, so Alucard and I quickly loaded our plates and moved out of the way. By then what we hadn't eaten from the ice cream was almost melted so we threw it away.

"Okay, so that killed a little time," Alucard stated.

I took a bite of pizza. "Uh-huh, I 'eard Andreu's gonna start up a game 'f D'n'D," I said while chewing.

Alucard rolled his eyes. "It helps if you swallow the food."

After swallowing it I answered, "But that's not as much fun."

"But we can all understand you."

Smirking I took another bite, this time finishing it before talking. "So, want to join the game?"

Again he rolled his eyes. "Sorry, I'm not a geek like that."

"No, you're a different kind of geek. But there's nothing wrong with a good RPG," I stated.

He shrugged. "Remember, you're saying that Andrew will run a good RPG. Do you really believe that?"

He had a point. "Not really."

"Didn't think so."

We ate in silence for a moment.

"I wish we could just get on with it," I muttered. "This waiting's going to drive us crazy."

"I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks that," Alucard pointed out. "Besides, it's not like we should all rush to our deaths."

"I thought you said we were going to win," I said as I glared at him accusingly.

He shrugged. "We will, but someone's gotta die. That's just the way things are. You can't fight a war without casualties."

"Actually, there was a couple of wars where no one died," I pointed out.

He glared for a moment. "That doesn't matter," he said. "This one will have deaths."

I shrugged. "Yeah, but let's not think about that," I suggested, getting to my feet.

"Where're you going?"

"To find some cards, I'll be back in a bit."

~

I held up a card so Alucard could see it. He snatched it from my head, looking at it for a few moments then putting it back in the deck and shuffling a few times. When he was done he handed the deck back to me and waited.

I just stared at him skeptically. "I don't know which card it was," I pointed out.

He only grinned. "I got your last three, you can get this one."

"No, your just psychic or something," I pointed out with a shrug. "I honestly have no way of knowing what the freaking card was, so can we switch to a different game?"

Grinning at me Alucard grabbed the deck from my hands and spread it out face up on the floor between us. I watched as he arranged the cards so that I could see all of them. "Trust me. What I did had nothing to do with magic," He murmured, his grin still in place. He glanced at me for a moment, pausing his display of the cards. "I just cheated. I could follow the card in the deck. You have to do it the hard way though."

Glaring at him I leaned back against the wall I was up against. We weren't the only ones in the living room at the moment and most of it was already claimed by other people. Alucard and I had claimed our own corner though so I had a wall to use. Alucard just sat there, perfectly content with what he had at the moment.

"So you're just really old and good at cards so you don't have to do the hard work?" I muttered the question. "That's so not fair."

Smirking he finished with the cards. Leaning back he put his arms out for support. "Hey, I have complete faith that if you try to you can pick out the card."

"Mmhmm. On my fifty-second guess I reckon."

"Come on Liz, you're not giving yourself credit," he insisted. "You're tuned into all that mystical junk. It should be able to show which card to grab. Besides you were the one who pulled it out of the deck."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Your card games suck."

"They kill time," he pointed out.

I glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning and most of the household was still awake. Many of the girls were sitting up and awake, just thinking. I didn't envy them. Cards were better than nothing.

"Can you give me a hint?" I asked, mimicking puppy dog eyes.

Shaking his head Alucard answered, "Nope."

Sighing defeat I glanced at the cards, now laid out in a neat row. You could see what each card was easily. Maybe I could just guess or point to a random card. If I got it wrong then at least I'd be proving myself right. Then again maybe I could just think about it.

So I did. I sat and stared at the cards to no avail. I risked a glance at Alucard who was still sitting casually as he waited. No help was coming from him. What was he thinking anyway, that some mystical hand would point out the card to me? Or maybe there was suppose to be some meaning I should recognize that would make the jack of diamonds more important than an ace of spades. I never played the 'which card is this?' guessing game. I always got the wrong answer.

There was no way for me to make a good answer. Perhaps I should just close my eyes and point. I had the feeling that Alucard was actually suspecting me to do that. Glancing at him again I couldn't tell for sure, but did it matter?

Still facing him I closed my eyes and pointed randomly. Opening my eyes I saw what I had pointed to. The four of hearts. Frowning I moved my hand three cards right, then four more, then back past the four strait to the card on it's left, finally pulling out the three of spades.

"That's your choice?" Alucard asked, taking a closer look at the card I'd removed.

I hesitated a moment before answering in a carefree voice, "Sure."

He smiled at me. It wasn't a grin, but at the same time it was teasing me. "What, don't like hearts?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Doesn't really matter."

"Well, you didn't choose it, so that should mean something," He stated.

Frowning I asked, "What does it matter? I thought you're just looking to see if I could get the right card."

He shrugged as he set about to explain. "Well, you could have been right," he started, "but that never mattered. I was just curious about what you would chose." I frowned at him and he just smiled back. "Besides," he added happily as he picked up the four of hearts, "you were right. Then you changed your answer."

My eyes narrowed. "You've got to be kidding."

"Not at all, this was the card," he said, crossing his right hand over his heart to show he wasn't lying. "It's not my fault you don't like hearts. You could have been right."

"Uh-huh, ri-ight."

He shrugged. "Fine, don't believe me. It's your choice." With those as his last words he scooped up the deck, shoving the four back into it and picking up the three that he had left on the ground. He looked at it for a moment, before looking back at me as he slid it easily in the deck. "How about a different game?"

I frowned at him, not sure exactly what he was thinking. What I was sure of was that I was tired of cards. We'd been playing for hours and I'd had enough of it. "How about something else?" I asked hopefully.

Alucard barely shrugged as an answer. When I didn't say anything else he looked up at me as if waiting for suggestions. Not having anything to suggest I just stared back at him silently.

"So we have what, four hours to kill?" Alucard asked as he glanced at the clock. He sounded close to bored. I guess I wasn't the only one running out of ideas.

Groaning I let myself fall over to the floor. Alucard smirked at me as I lied there for a moment. "God, wanna know what sucks? I'm not even slightly tired. It's like I'm running on caffeine without the caffeine. I actually feel like doing something."

"It's called adrenaline," Alucard said in a teacher like voice. "That's what's keeping you awake right now. It'll probably fade about the time you have to start doing things. By the time the fight comes you'll be so stressed from it you won't be at top performance."

I glared at him. "Why don't you tell everyone that cause god knows they're not scarred enough already."

"I'm not trying to scare you, Liz," Alucard stated softly, glancing at the rest of the room.

I rolled over a couple times so that I could lie on my back, this in turn brought me closer to Alucard. He leaned forward to stare down at me, waiting for my answer. "I know you're not trying to scare people, and that you're bored. I'm almost surprised you haven't ditched us already and ran off to save yourself. But things are getting rather stressful and I just want to do something useful. Cards and talking. . . it's just not feeling important, that's all."

Alucard nodded as he leaned back again. "So we want to feel important and as if we were doing something useful. That plus we don't want to wait for the feeling," he said, almost as if he were explaining it to himself. "Yeah, I think that sums it up."

"Plus we're scared," I added. "Or at least I am."

He smiled grimly. "Yeah, that too," he agreed. Then he caught my gaze for a second. "I'm scarred too, just so you know. I don't know if it helps at all, but don't feel like you're the only one here who's terrified."

While the words made sense I couldn't really picture Alucard as terrified. Scarred yes, but terrified? It just wasn't something I had considered before. I had never thought him invincible, and now I wasn't sure what I thought of him, but while he had appeared nervous before, he had very rarely looked afraid.

"What scares you most?" I asked randomly, looking for conversation topics.

Alucard had to think about the answer a bit. He looked from me, to the room, then back to me. "Well, a lot of things scare me. The First, the Boss, ladybugs, all sorts of things. Heck, even your friend Zeke's made me jumpy a few times." He paused to stare at my surprised look, but didn't say anything. My mind was still dwelling on the ladybugs comment as he continued. "I'd have to say that I'm feeling rather scarred now. More so than I have in a long time. Heck, I haven't felt like this sense. . ." his voice trailed off.

Raising an eyebrow I prodded, "You got my interest now, you can't leave me hanging."

He just stared a moment before continuing seriously. "The last time I felt this scared was when I first saw you."

I couldn't even blink in surprise, my eyes were too wide. "Wait, that was back when you were human, right? Why would you be-"

"No," he said as he shook his head. "No, when I saw you in Puyallup. When I saw you." We were both quiet for a moment. I didn't know what to say and he was just watching me for my reaction. My eyes were asking all the questions I couldn't though and he was nice enough to explain further.

"I couldn't show it. Not there, not with everyone watching, not while Zeke was testing my authority," he explained. "I couldn't look surprised, it would have gotten me killed. I was the boss's headman, which meant I was listened to, feared by everyone, but I was also a target. Any sign of weakness would leave me in trouble.

"He never told me. The Boss didn't mention you'd be there. He didn't mention who you were. I didn't know, I don't think he did, either. Not really. No one would have guessed exactly who you were, who you are. After years of devoting most of my effort to forgetting you there you were, right in front of me. If I hadn't been hidden when you walked in I'm not sure what I would have done. The first few seconds when I saw you I couldn't hide my surprise. You were alive, right in front of me, right there in my reach. . ." he was looking past me now, his mind in the past going through his memories of that party, of that night.

After a minute or two he shook his head and sighed, but still he continued. "It scarred me so much to see you. I thought you might remember me, what I had done to you." He smirked to himself. "Could you imagine? You and Zeke walking in to see me, and you knowing everything. Who knows if you would care for me still or hate me for what I had done.

"Then I wondered why it mattered. Why should I care if you hated me? Why should it hurt when I considered how you would feel? Why should I want to touch you?" again he paused for just a moment, but this time he was staring at me. "I think that was the first time I had realized a difference between some vampires.

"Your brother Spike told me a theory not too long ago. He says that some vampires can still love, not all, but some. He can, he loved Buffy, before that he loved his pet Dru. Then, as is the case with most vampires, other couldn't. They could have passions, hobbies, they might care, but they can't love. You've heard of Angelus? He's a classic example. After several hundreds of years they start to change, their bodies taking on the evil appearance that shows what they are. I never changed though. Neither did Zeke. I don't know of another vampire over a thousand who hasn't though.

"Something saved me, allowed me to be able to love," he stated, coming to his final point of the speech. "More importantly, it allowed me to love you." Neither of us showed any reactions as he said that. "And that terrified me."

I was vaguely aware that my heart was beating abnormally fast. I was still lying on my back, staring up at Alucard who was staring down at me intently, waiting for what I had to say.

My mind wasn't working though. Emotions didn't exist and nothing I was thinking really mattered. Alucard's words were repeating again and again in my mind, but they still held no meaning, no dots were connecting that would force me to form an opinion or response. Every time I slipped up and actually realized what he had meant by that, actually let myself think about it, a shiver would run down my spine and I would double my efforts to know nothing.

Because what would happen when I had to consider this? What would happen when I actually knew that he loved me? How would I have to respond? What the hell was I suppose to say? I was thinking about it. Damn it! I didn't want to be. I didn't want this to happen, didn't want to wonder.

And yet. . . yet. . . I wanted to know. Knowing this. . . it meant more than I thought it would. To hear him say the words, to say exactly what he was feeling, was what I had been waiting to hear for so long. Longer, I think, than I had even realized.

But how did I feel?

The question hung between us as a heavy weight resting in the air. While Alucard didn't appear disturbed by my lack of response and intense thought it was beginning to make me edgy.

What if I couldn't figure it out? Or what if I didn't like him at all? Just because Airaei loved him didn't mean I'd be able to as well. Perhaps it was better if I didn't, but would I feel guilty? He had confessed to me exactly what he felt. What if I couldn't do the same?

I felt my breath begin to speed up and forced myself to relax. Closing my eyes I focused more on keeping my breathing and heart rate down to a normal speed rather than exactly how I felt at the moment. Right now panic was setting in, and I couldn't deal with panic.

"Liz," Alucard murmured. I could feel him lean over me. "Calm down, it's okay," his voice was so soft and soothing it would be hard not to listen to it. Right now I surrendered eagerly to the calming qualities Alucard had. "Maybe you should go to sleep after all," he suggested.

I shook my head. "No, that's okay," I murmured softly, opening my eyes again to look at him. For a moment I just stared into dark green eyes. He looked serious and understanding, something that was not a normal mixture of emotions. "Alucard . . . I'm sorry-"

"-Don't be," he cut in.

I shook my head to stop him from saying anything else. "No, let me finish," I insisted. Alucard stopped talking and I went on. "I'm sorry because I don't know what to say now. I don't know how I feel. I think . . . I think I like you, but I don't know what that means. I wouldn't use the word love, that's just too strong. I don't know if I even feel strongly at all. I can't promise anything, and I'm not who you knew me as."

"I know that," Alucard stated. "And I don't want you to be."

"So what should we do?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I think we do the classic agree to be just friends thing." While it sounded cheesy it was the best thing for us to do.

"So that's it," I said softly as I let out a deep breath. It surprised me that I didn't feel relieved to hear that.

Alucard was nodding though. "Yeah, that's it."

"And tomorrow?" I asked.

"Oh, that's the easy question," he said, attempting to regain his former smirk. "Tomorrow we go to hell."

~

We all got out of the cars and assembled. The potentials were all looking nervous, the two vampires with us were still in the cars. They were waiting until they could go quickly for the building. Spike would be using his leather jacket as a shield from the sun, Alucard had brought a blanket. I was wearing loosing fitting cargo pants and a tight green T-shirt. The outfit was comfortable, and didn't hold me back. I had considered jeans, but you just couldn't stretch well in those.

Once the group was together we followed Wood into the abandoned high school, the vampires tagging along. Now that we were moving the girls were looking better, more determined and happy that we were going somewhere. Alucard tossed the blanket aside once he was in the building and Wood led us through hallways as he talked. "Welcome to Sunnydale High. There's no running in the halls, no yelling and no gum. Apart from that we have only one rule." He stopped and turned to face us. "If they move, kill 'em."

Buffy, who was also in the front of the group turned around as well. "Potentials in the basement with Faith, Beth and Spike."

I hesitated a moment before going. The watchers and I agreed we wouldn't say good-bye. That way we all had to make it out so that we'd be able to later, but I didn't want to just leave without doing anything. Spike pulled at my arm, though, and I was only able to wave to the watchers before I kept going.

"If you have to go to the bathroom, it's on the left. If you don't have to go to the bathroom, picture what you're about to face. Better to go," Xander said before he fell back to stay with Buffy and the rest.

Faith, Spike and I were in the lead. Behind us were thirty-some odd potentials and Alucard. We were all about to go down into the hellmouth. I had to take a deep breath at the thought. How many creatures would we have to fight? I remembered the three shadow men and the image they had shown Buffy. Thousands of umber vamps. For the first time that particular thought was bringing me close to panic. You would never have guessed from looking at me, but I was so scarred, I'm amassed I wasn't shaking.

Then there were the girls. They all had to be feeling just as scarred, or probably more so. How they were doing this I didn't know. We were willingly walking into hell to fight off the bad guys and save the world. In less than half an hour these girls would be Slayers, they'd be able to fight this fight. But if something went wrong? We'd all die.

So we hoped nothing would go wrong.

My heart was in my throat beating so loud I'm surprised no one heard it, but I followed mutely as Spike led us to the basement and threw hallways. He knew the place better than the rest of us, but I recognized a few things as we went through.

One of them I stared at longer than the others. I knew the exact tunnel that led me down to where the Boss was staying. It wasn't far from the room with the seal. I stepped out of the line for a moment, giving the girls words of encouragement as they past, but my eyes stayed on the other tunnel.

Some part of me wanted to change directions. While the First was threatening the world, they were about to have over thirty Slayers fighting its army off. Did they really need me? I had my own fight, and it had to be dealt with, too.

"Are you okay?" Alucard asked when he caught up, stopping beside me. He knew exactly what I was looking at.

"Yeah, I'm f--"

A sudden jolt made me pause mid-sentence. I grabbed the wall from support to stop from falling, but no one else seemed to have noticed. As a matter of fact, no one else was moving at all. I stared at Alucard for a moment. He was still facing where I had been before the jolt. I reached out as if to touch him, but paused a moment, glancing at the potentials who had stopped as well.

Slowly, as if something was holding me back, I stepped around Alucard. My eyes kept flickering back to him even as I watched for what had caused the sudden freeze in time. Slowly I turned in a circle, looking in every direction for some sign of what caused this. Yet when I stopped turning, the world didn't stop with me. My back should have been to the wall, but the wall was moving, slowly rotating, just like the potentials were, and Alucard. Everything was beginning to spin around me.

The spinning sped up, slowly at first, then faster. I watched as the potentials became a mass of colors until I couldn't tell one girl apart from the others. Not long after that the colors were merely streaks, and soon they seemed to blur together until the room was a mass of gray.

There was another jolt and my stomach lurched. I gagged, covering my mouth, but my stomach held up for the moment. It was too much for me though. My eyes couldn't follow the spinning anymore. Closing them I tried to reach out for something to grab hold of. There was nothing in front of me so instinctively I took a step back, searching for something till I ran into the wall.

It was there, and when I touched it there was a third and final jolt, and things stopped completely. I took two deep breaths before looking up at the hallway. There was no movement, no noise. Event he colors were muted, almost completely gone. I held still for a moment, feeling nauseated, but soon the feeling passed.

Turning around I leaned against the wall, still staring at everything, waiting for something to happen. I turned to look at the potentials, all immobile, and something glittered in the corner of my eye. Looking back at it there was nothing. I blinked a few times, but still didn't see anything.

"Please stop playing with me. I've played enough games for one lifetime," I muttered nervously.

Someone laughed, light and happy and the shimmer appeared again, this time turning into a solid form. Slowly a silvery shape twisted itself to a human and let the features span out over the body. When it finished it was a reflection of myself, only wearing a toga and looking all ancient. Not physically, of course, She was as young as I was, but it was just something about her. She was old in a different way, and you knew it.

"What the. . ." I murmured, backing up against the wall. "Who're you?" I knew the answer to that question.

The girl shrugged carelessly, brushing hair behind her ear in a very human like jester. "Me. You. It doesn't matter. I do believe you call me Airaei though."

My eyes widened a little even though I had expected it. Still the thoughts raced through my head. Airaei? Here? But how? She had died two thousand years ago. I explained to myself; her race didn't die, they just went back to their world. Somehow and for some reason she had returned here, to Earth and our dimension. I knew that wasn't suppose to happen, Learians weren't even suppose to be able to take shape. Yet here she was.

"Don't look so surprised, there's a simple explanation to this," She stated as she brushed fingers through her hair. "While I do like the excuse to take shape again--it's been such a long time sense I was actually here -- you were easier to deal with while you were sleeping."

While I was sleeping? That would mean that she and I had talked, or somehow communicated. And it did make sense, if something had gone wrong, and it was quite possible something had, she might have made an effort to speak with me. "So I suppose I could blame those head aches on you?" I asked to verify my idea.

Airaei smiled and nodded. "An unfortunate side effect. That's why I always left you behind when I entered the vault. Humans normally can't handle it. I'm surprised you're standing now."

"Huh?" I asked. If my ears weren't lying to me then she had just said that I was in the vault. Quickly looking around again I didn't see anything that would make this place seem at all important. It was. . . gray. Dull and empty of life.

She sighed. "You're not that daft, girl. Start thinking. How could I be here? I can't take shape without a host, and I'm not getting inside you. You should feel lucky I even tried to help you," she said, speaking down to me. "Then you screw it up. Now things are going all wrong, and I can't stop it."

I blinked, thought a moment, and then blinked again. What? I didn't think I was acting particularly stupid, confused maybe, but not stupid. Who did she think she was? It wasn't like she was any better than me. Heck, we were the same person. "Okay, first: get over yourself. If you did something then maybe you screwed it up for me. Then second: what the hell did you do?"

"I tried to warn you," She said stiffly. Her whole body was rigid, but she looked carefully blank. It was like she was trying to look formal when she was dying to hit me. Anger and frustration was hidden behind every carefully placed feature.

"Warn me about what?" I asked, ignoring her anger and discomfort.

"Your death, of course," She stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It will do us no good if you got yourself killed."

Smirking I took a step off the wall, not quite as nervous as before, but still cautious. "Really? Like you really care about my life," I said, truly believing she didn't. Don't ask me how but I knew that she didn't give a damn.

She looked almost uncomfortable. Her hands began to fidget as she talked. "Fine, I really don't. But I do want to know what will happen," she insisted. "It's a mystery, you know, your life," she added. Then looking down on me once more continued, "Can you believe that your life right now will determine the future? There's not a Lerian who can remember what happens next because you went and screwed it all up."

"Okay. . . I have an idea. You explain things from the beginning. Then maybe I'll know what you're talking about and then we can discuss this," I stated slowly in a sarcastic voice, almost as if I were talking to a child who was too young to understand.

Airaei's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't understand everything," she said.

I rolled my eyes. "Try me, you might be surprised."

She literally raised her nose to me, "I'll tell you what little you can understand," she stated arrogantly, "We live in the vault, that is our world. We go to other words to add to the vault. All the memories we gather from people like you are like pieces to a puzzle, they need to all be there else you can't see the whole picture."

"And you're missing part of it?" I asked.

She nodded stiffly. "You're the missing piece. We don't know how you end."

"Ah, make it sound all ominous," I muttered.

She shrugged. "It is what it is. The memory is not complete, we're missing all of you. How you finish off today will determine everything."

"Okay, so why're you here?" I asked.

"Because you're doing this all wrong," she stated.

"Okay. . . how's that?"

"You're suppose to be angry. There should have been a fight. . . So many things should have happened," she almost whined.

"What does that mean, exactly?" I questioned.

Airaei shook her head. "I'm not sure. But you have to make a choice."

Something tickled in the back of my mind. "Make a choice?" I asked, trying to figure out what I couldn't remember.

Airaei smiled at me. "Mm-hmm," she murmured happily. "Is something bothering you, Elisabeth?"

I frowned. She was right, there was. There was something I should be remembering, something important. Why I couldn't figure it out I didn't make sense. My head was actually starting to hurt. "What're you doing to me?" I asked.

She smiled. "It's not me," She purred. "You've been in the vault, you just don't remember it. The vault's here to give you memories, not hide them from you."

"Okay," I said through gritted teeth. "Here's a scenario. Pretend I'm a stupid human who doesn't understand anything you're saying." She would go for that one.

Airaei smirked. "That's not too difficult, but still," she said, "I brought you into the vault to help you. I've been trying to give you hints on what's going on. You, being human, didn't remember any of it outside of the vault, but when you came back the memories where there. So now, you're making a choice, fight with the Slayers, or fight alone. I'm here to give you memories to help you make that choice."

"You're trying to lead me to the direction of your choice," I accused.

She nodded with a smile. "True, but I think you might see things my way."

"I don't even remember anything, what makes you think-" I paused as a sharp pain went through my head. Wincing I shook my head, trying to keep talking, but another stab of pain struck again.

Airaei walked towards me, talking as she did so. "Don't try so hard, it isn't helping. Here," she said, resting her hand on my forehead. "Just wait, then the pain will be gone."

Breathing heavily I waited. I felt another wave coming, but then it stopped, sizzling down into nothing. Airaei's hand stayed on my forehead as she closed her eyes. For a moment she shimmered again, her hand pushed against me, into me, then she pulled back, taking solid form once more. Nothing felt different for the first few seconds, then something popped into my mind. It was a memory, a very small memory, not an important one. Something about a sword. . . Then there was another memory . . . and another. . .

"What's happening?" I asked as another life was absorbed into my mind.

I remembered everything, everything about being Airaei. Every person she knew, everywhere she went, I could name everyone in her clan and every servant who worked for them. I remembered when I first met Dexion, when he started helping me with technique for fighting. I remembered that I had always been the Slayer, ever sense I was a small child.

Feelings began washing over me and I stumbled backwards again. Leaning against the wall I stared at Airaei as I felt what she had felt. She hadn't fit in, she hadn't been like the rest of them. While she didn't think it was right to treat humans as lesser people, she had anyway, but she didn't know that. Compared to the others she was a saint. Dexion had seen that, he had seen that she tried.

I remembered their first kiss, their passion. My father, no, her father had eventually found out and walked in on them. He had fired Dexion, kicked him out of the clan. No human deserved to touch a Lerian, especially not a servant.

I shook as I remembered the fights. All the times she had been wounded. Normally she healed right away, it was nothing, but sometimes, if she had taken too many stabs, it lasted longer, and it hurt. Then there was the memory of her last fight. It was clear, too clear. Every step, every blow. The bite. . .

"Oh god," I murmured as the memories started to slow down. They were there, right in front of me. It was if I had someone else with me, and yet. . . It was just me. Completely and totally me. There were two lives, but right now it just seemed like one really long one. Airaei and Elisabeth were the same person. It was just me.

She had been right. It didn't matter what name I used. I was still her, I had always been. As the memories washed through me I knew that it was true. They were so different, Airaei and Elisabeth, but not because of who they were, only the situations they had lived through had changed them. They had started out exactly the same. No trace of Lerian had settled into my mind. Only the human form that Airaei had assumed.

A shiver ran through me as I thought. It wasn't from fear, but rather helped to take it away. All of my anxiety seeped out of me as I let myself relax. This wasn't the first time I had been scarred and stressed. I could remember so many nights in the arena. So many times wondering if this would be the day I screwed up and got myself killed. My mind had shut off from the world as I walked out to have all those people watching me. I had been completely empty, no emotions could touch me.

Then I would come home to hell. The others had never become human. They had been born and lived with the fleeting emotions that humans had, but they never embraced them. No other Lerian had learned to become as completely human as I did. They were momentarily carried by anger or lust, as is the way of humans, but they did not allow themselves to become real people. I had been trapped in a world where no one could care about anything. The part that was humans cared about themselves, but no one ever tried to care about me.

I think I hated Lerians, even the part of me that was one. They were only shells, existing to gather information, but never really here to live. They had no passions but what they could assume when they took on the lives of others. We knew we were better than the others, above their petty feelings. I knew it was wrong, yet I was bond by the same rules that made me Lerian.

Except, I wasn't. Airaei, the real Airaei, wasn't inside me. No, the human that had lived with her, the human she had controlled, she was with me. That was who I was, or part of who I was.

I looked again at Airaei. She was staring back at me. I didn't have to say anything, she didn't need me to. Suddenly I understood her, understood her feelings. She wanted to help, not necessarily me, but humans. She had felt for humans, she still did. They taught her how to feel.

I opened my mouth to talk, but I wasn't sure what to say. When I finally found words they came out choppy and slow. "I'm not. . . I don't. . . Why did you. . ."

"You don't have to say anything, yet," She stated. "You're feeling disoriented. That's understandable."

"What. . . is this for?" I asked, still speaking slowly. I wasn't confused, I just wanted the answers.

"I need you to sort through the memories. Focus on the dreams, you remember those, right?" she asked. It occurred to me that I did. At some point while the rest of her memories were filling me the dreams that had been plaguing me for the last few months had slipped in too. They had simply been over looked while I focused on the rest.

Even though I knew that I remembered the dreams I had to think about it for a moment. Too many things were buzzing through my head for me to remember any of them right away. Slowly I sorted through the memories and found the dreams among them. She had explained things in them, told me what was going on. But more importantly she had finished the prophecy for us. I knew what could happen.

I knew it wouldn't end that way.

"You said it yourself, things changed," I murmured.

Airaei nodded. "Yes, but you know what would have happened. That still plays a part in all this. The choices are still possible."

Were they? Was I really the one here to choose, or had she inserted herself into me to force the decision upon me. Even as the suggestion came to mind I knew it wasn't true. She had given me the memories so that I would have the knowledge needed to finish things. No matter what choice I made.

I shook my head. "Neither will happen, I know it."

She shrugged. "Neither will happen the same way. But if you face this 'Boss' character, chances are still high that he'll kill you. As for the vampires, you'll just have to try your luck."

"So you want me to go with Buffy," I said.

"Do you want to?" She inquired.

"Does it matter?"

She nodded slowly, smiling knowingly. "It's your choice. You get to decide on this."

"And you said it mattered, that the entire world could change depending on what happens."

She nodded again. "It's your choice."

"Huh," I murmured. "Don't suppose you could, like, tell me how my actions will change things?"

"No."

"Didn't think so," I muttered. "You probably don't know anyway.

She ignored my comment. "So what're you going to do, Elisabeth?" Airaei asked.

I had to think for a moment. Slowly I stretched my shoulders and got my mind settled. "Well, that's a good question." She had said in a dream that the Boss would kill me and I'd kill the last umber vampire. But in that dream their hadn't been more than three Slayers. I knew that. So either the spell wasn't going to work or something I had done hadn't stopped the spell from working. Either way, she was right, I had to make a choice.

"There's not much I can say," I murmured, smiling a little because there was nothing else I could really do. It wasn't a choice. "What choice do I have? I have to save the world."

Airaei's smile grew a little as she nodded one last time. "Then I wish you luck."

I nodded back, "I think I'll need every bit of it."

She crossed her arms and met my eyes as she began shimmering again. The world began spinning, but I held my ground, staring strait at her the entire time. She didn't move, and neither did I. When at last things stopped she walked towards me. Again I stayed put, up until the moment we were almost touching.

"Did I make the right choice?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I guess we'll see." Then she stepped into me and was gone. I briefly felt her presence inside of me, then I was alone. Alone with way too many memories.

"Liz, are you okay?" Alucard asked again.

I blinked and looked up at him. Everyone was moving again, just as if nothing had happened. The girls were walking towards the seal, Dexion was staring at me, waiting for my reply. I think I'm the only one who knew that something had. No one else knew that Airaei had just been here, they didn't know that I now remembered everything. Dexion didn't know.

Wait, did I just call him Dexion? I did! Twice! No, that's not right, it was Alucard. Both names circled through my mind. Dexion and Alucard were different people, Just like me and Airaei they were two different people, just as different as we were, but at the same time, just as similar. I wonder if they ever had conversations.

"Liz-"

"Yeah," I said softly, still smiling. "I'm just fine." He didn't look convinced. "Honestly, it's all good. I was just talkin' to myself." I continued walking after the potentials, not even glancing back at the tunnels. "Come on, Alucard, we've gotta go save the world."

~

My hand still stung from cutting it open, but we all had to cut ourselves up a little. To get to the bad guys we had to go through the seal. To open the seal you needed blood. None of us really wanted to kill anyone, so instead we all contributed a little. So we were all sporting new scars, go us. It can be the new Slayer mark.

I finished climbing down into a cavern. It was dark and dank, but from somewhere there was light shining through. It looked like fire light, but I couldn't see exactly where it was coming from.

"Not to be a buzzkill, luv, but my fabulous accessory isn't exactly tingling with power," Spike told Buffy as he held up some trinket that was on a necklace around his neck. Buffy had mentioned something about it supposedly had some power we didn't know about.

"I'm not worried," Buffy stated.

Spike shrugged. "I'm getting zero juice here," he muttered. "And I look like Elizabeth Taylor."

"Cheer up, Liz. Willow's big spell doesn't work, won't matter what you wear," Faith stated.

Again Buffy said, "I'm not worried."

I stepped up beside Spike. "You know, if they start calling you Liz this'll get confusing," I pointed out.

He glared. "Don't even suggest it."

We all walked forward to get a better look at the cavern. After we did I wished we hadn't. Swarms of umber-vamps, thousands at least.

Buffy was as surprised as the rest of us, but again she said, this time not as confident as the last, "I'm not worried. . ."

"Really?" Rona whispered, "'Cause I'm flashing back to Xander's whole bathroom speech."

"Buffy?" Amanda asked.

Buffy closed her eyes. "Now Willow Now Willow Now. . ."

"Buffy. . ." Amanda repeated, really scared.

"I'm not worried! As long as Willow can work the spell before they-"

One of the vampires sniffed the air, his head turning to us. The moment he saw us the rest of the umber-vamps turned as well. They growled at us for half a second, then charged, screaming all the way.

"-see us," Buffy finished. "Willow. . ."

I watched the vampires charge towards us, felling the first bit of fear. "Here goes. . ."

"Yep," Alucard said, stepping up beside me. "No turning back now."

Then something amazing and very much needed happened. Willow cast the spell. It was like a wave among the potentials. One by one the now Slayers gasped in surprise. It was like they were hit by something, a hard, confusing, wonderful something. Power rushed through them, they felt it, they wanted it, and they used it.

"Sweet fancy Moses," Amanda said it best.

There wasn't a frightened face among us.

Then something hit me. It was subtle, and I wasn't sure what it was, but it was there. I was already a Slayer, so it wasn't like that was changing at all, but maybe it was just the power checking me, to make sure I was a Slayer. Maybe Faith and Buffy felt the same thing. It didn't really matter, there was no time for it. The vampires were coming.

"You feel that?" Faith asked, apparently I wasn't the only one feeling things. The only thing different was that she was grinning, and she said it like it was a big thing. Maybe it was different for Slayers.

Buffy was grinning too as she answered, "I really do."

Faith looked ahead at the oncoming storm, "Everybody, hold the line. . ."

Vi grinned, perfectly calm. "These guys are dust."

And then the first wave hit. The vampires crawled over the edge where we were standing, swarming over us in mass. We were waiting and ready, though, and fraught back hard.

A vampire jumped at me, I easily dodged, shoving my weapon threw him. I was using a three foot long stake. It worked as kind of a small staff if I needed it too, and I could still stab them with it. Another vampire jumped on me from behind, I knocked him off and into another Slayer's stake. Vampire after vampire was dusted. It hardly took any effort.

Another vampire punched at me. I dodged and kicked him back. He grabbed my foot and threw me into a wall. "Owe," I muttered, pushing off of it as I turned and kicked him in the head, knocking him to the ground then quickly staking him. As he burst into dust another vampire attacked with a sword. I pushed the blade aside as I prepared another attack but was stopped short when pain shot across my back.

"Holy shit," I yelled as I winced. One hand went to my back and came back with blood. I think I was in shock because it didn't hurt too much, but I think I was sliced from my right shoulder to my left waste. It had to be a thin cut because I was still standing. Or at least I was before the guy in front of me punched me to the ground.

I rolled to avoid his sword, then again to avoid the vamp who slashed me. My back hurt from rolling on it so I tried to get to my feet, but had to jump backwards to avoid a sword and again landed on my back. Sucking in air I winced.

The vampires were coming forward and I wasn't in any shape to fight them. Glancing around frantically I looked for help, but he found me instead. In just a couple of seconds Alucard dusted the vampires who'd been attacking me, then was helping me to my feet.

"You really have to stop doing that," I said while smiling a thank you.

"Doing what?" he asked.

I took a moment to stake a vampire who was attacking another girl. "Saving me."

He grinned. "Stop getting hurt. Speaking of being hurt, your back okay?" he asked, honestly concerned.

I shrugged, checking it one more time. My shirt was cut up, but it was holding together well enough. Alucard had a jacket I could borrow later if I needed one. "I'll be fine. Duck," He ducked and I killed a vamp behind him. "Suppose we should get back to work."

"Let's," he agreed, and we broke up, joining back up with the mob of vampires and Slayers.

The fight didn't let up much, but some of the vampires were running out of the now open seal. I didn't spare them a glance, hoping that the watchers would be okay when they met up with them. We were all caught up in the fight. One vampire knocked my stake away from me, I kicked him into someone else's turning around just in time to see Buffy fall to the ground.

Hesitating a moment I wasn't sure if I should help her. Faith was now kicking ass with the Scythe Buffy was letting her borrow until some vamp grabbed her on the neck from behind. "Rona!" she called, then passed the scythe/ax thing to her. Rona grabs it and starts hacking away. Slayers were starting to drop though, not quickly, but steadily.

Suddenly the scythe was thrown to me. Rona was doing something else and it was my turn to use the weapon. I turned and with one slice beheaded three of the umber vamps. The scythe seemed to sing with power, it was intoxicating. After a few more kills I passed it on to one of the newer girls, only to give her a little confidence. She caught it uneasily, but started fighting, taking a few vampires down. Then Buffy was back on her feet, and the scythe went back to her. Faith broke out from under the dog pile of vampires covering her, and started fighting once more.

I picked up a dead Slayer's stake and dusted a vampire, right about the same time I got this feeling. It was one of those things when you knew something big was going to happen. Something huge that would change things. A wave of happiness swept through me, but at the same time there was fear. Something was telling me I had a job to do. I wasn't sure what it was but the hunch wouldn't go away.

While I was busy thinking about it some vamp punched me. I went down hard, my face hurting more than from any other blow. Getting back to my feet I blocked one of his blows, barely and not very well. Thankfully he wasn't too bright and I was able to stab him, but the stake didn't go in at first and he hit me again. I stumbled backwards, rubbing my jaw, then as he was moving towards me turned and kicked the stake, pushing it in all the way. I should have been able to kill him the first time. It was as if I was getting weaker, but maybe I was just tired.

Then I figure out the hunch. "Dexion, get out!" I shouted. Alucard looked over at me, but I wasn't the one speaking. "Get out now!" He looked confused, but started heading towards the seal. Just in time he was out of the cavern, almost at the exact same moment Spike started to glow.

My eyes widened as I saw him stuck in pain, something building inside of him. "Buffy. . ." he called out.

She raced over to him. "Spike!" then she dived to avoid a prism ray of sunlight that burst out of him. Several rays, in fact. The shined throughout the cavern, filling it with light as it dusted countless vamps. All remaining vampires were wiped out instantly, and the cavern was starting to fall as well.

"Everybody out!" Faith cried, "Now!"

I stumbled forward, towards the exit. My body was sore and bloodied a little, but so was everyone else. I helped a girl to her feet before moving forward, but let her go when I got to Spike. He stopped talking to Buffy to look at me for a moment. Pure sunlight was channeling through him. There was no way he'd get out of this, he was after all a vampire.

"Spike. . ." I started.

"Get out of here," he said firmly.

I nodded grimly. "You know, I'm going to have to hurt you for this," I pointed out.

He smirked. "For saving your ass?"

"Nah, I was the one who was suppose to kill the last vamp. You stole my job."

"Get out of here already, before you get killed," he said.

I nodded, glancing at Buffy, then continued forward and out of the seal. The moment I was out of sunlight Alucard was there waiting to give me a hand. The girls were stumbling out and Alucard took me with them. He didn't look nearly as hurt as I was.

"You called me Dexion," he said as we passed the tunnel to the Boss's hideout.

I paused a moment, staring down it. "That was Airaei. I think she says hi."

He stared at me for a long moment. "We have to get out of here." He was right, the tunnel was falling down around us.

"Yeah, you go ahead," I said, walking towards the tunnel.

He grabbed me. "You're not going down there," he stated, pulling me back.

I tried to wrestle out of his grip, but it didn't do anything. I might as well have been normal for all the good I was doing. "Lemme go," I muttered.

"You're not going down there, you're hurt and we have to leave, now," he insisted.

I looked down the tunnel again. "I'm fine, honest, I feel just fine."

"You're too weak to pull away from me, how can you be fine?" He asked angrily.

"But I'm fine," I said in a murmur, more to myself. I honestly felt fine. There was nothing hurting, not even the cut on my back. But that didn't make sense, it had been hurt. A bad cut I think, not too bad to stop me, but hey, I was a Slayer. Maybe I was going into shock or something, but I didn't think so. Everything felt. . . as if. . . "Oh shit." My eyes widened as realization hit me.

"What?" Alucard asked.

I blinked for a couple of seconds, my breath speeding up. "Oh shit. . ." I felt my back, there was only dried blood so I turned around. "How's the cut? How bad is it?"

His hand moved over it. "Barely skin deep and almost healed, you won't even have a scar."

"Oh shit." That couldn't be right. That just couldn't be right. It had been worse than that, I knew it. It shouldn't have healed this fast. And I should be able to get away from him. It was deja vous, and not in a good way.

"Liz, what's wrong?" Alucard asked, letting go of me so that I could move freely. I wasn't thinking enough to run for the tunnel.

I hadn't forgotten my idea, though. I had to go there, I had to stop the Boss. "Alucard-Dexion, god I don't know what to call you anymore." Both of my hands went to my head, covering my face as I rubbed my eyes. I had to decide now what I was going to do about this. I couldn't be two people. I knew that I'd never get rid of either, but I couldn't be both. I looked up and knew what I had to do. I was Elisabeth right now, that's who I was.

"Alucard, I have to go there," I said it completely determined. Alucard was just watching me carefully, he was thinking too hard about something. Ten bucks said it was me. My mind was made up though. I was going down that tunnel.

Alucard wasn't so sure of that plan. "Why?" He asked carefully.

How could I explain? "Alucard, please." I didn't know what else to say. Yes, it sounded like I was begging, but things were changing so quickly and I didn't know if I could keep up with the changes. I had to make my move before I became too confused to do anything.

Still Alucard didn't look certain. "I don't know why you'd want to," he said, "you could die. Hell, if we're not out of here in a few minutes we'll die. We need to run now." I just looked at him. He was right, but I wasn't changing my mind. He realized this. "But you have to do this, right? For some god forsaken reason you're going to get us killed."

"Don't come with me. You can go," I didn't want him to get hurt. He was my friend, but he was more. Both people inside me knew he was more than just a friend. A part of me loved him, a part of me didn't. The thing I was sure of was that I cared for him, and I didn't want him dead.

Alucard was shaking his head. "Where would I go?" he said with a forced laugh. "Out of here? Into the sun? Who knows how long I'd be there. It's not worth it if I'm going alone." His eyes said he meant it. He wouldn't leave me, even if I wanted him to.

A bolder fell from the ceiling. I flinched. "We don't have time to talk about this," I pointed out.

Alucard wasn't happy about it but he nodded. "Follow me." And I did. We both dodged several falling objects on the way. Soon we got to the doorway that we had come out of when running from the Boss. Alucard paused for a moment, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself for what was coming, and then he opened the door. We both walked into the perfectly smoothed tunnel, then down to the final door between us and the other bad guys. He met my eyes and I nodded.

I opened the door quickly. For some reason I wasn't surprised to see what was on the other side.

Zeke was standing there, arms folded behind his back with twenty-some-odd vamps behind him. He was dressed uncharacteristically in complete black. Black cargo pants, black nikes, a plain black T-shirt over a fishnet black long-sleeved shirt. The outfit was topped off with his stylish black sunglasses that did little good in the poorly lit hallway.

"I should've guessed he'd be here," Alucard said from my side.

Zeke smirked. "Ditto." He didn't bother to even look at Alucard as he said it. His eyes were focused on mine and I stared back at him. "Now you, Liz, you I was expecting."

"Actually, I think I'm with Alucard on this one," I murmured, throwing the door shut behind me.

Zeke shrugged, hiding all his emotions behind his glasses as his face stayed blank. "But I'm here to help you get to your goal. We're just escorting you to Boss."

My eyes surveyed the rest of his party. I blinked a few times to clear my vision when it started to blur. The first fight had left me feeling tired. I didn't want to face the Boss right now, and I couldn't afford to put up a fight against these vampires. They'd win. It didn't matter anyway, the Boss had more. Zeke was right, he was only showing me where to go anyway.

Slowly I nodded to Zeke. "Right. As long as they don't do anything like attacking us I don't. . . I don't mind. . ." I was blinking again, trying to keep my image of Zeke to one person instead of the many Zekes that were floating in front of me. Alucard grabbed my arm to steady me as I stumbled a moment. Shaking my head I cleared my vision. Zeke hadn't moved, though I swear his blank mask had cracked for just a moment.

"Yeah, I was saying. . ."

This time I couldn't stop myself from collapsing. Everything was a blur as my legs gave out. The world was turning black as I felt hands grab me before I hit the ground. Blinking one last time I saw both Zeke and Alucard near me. I don't know who kept me from falling as I finally blacked out.

~

Swoosh! That was annoying. I'm never leaving a story unfinished on a trip again. Not ever. Especially when I wrote an ending that I didn't like and I have to go back and fix everything. I spent literally two hours fixing everything, then my computer screwed up and I lost about ten pages worth of the corrections I'd done, so I had to go back and rewrite that part, and remember what the hell I'd done in the first place. *sighs heavily.* Alas the next chapter isn't done yet. Well, I suppose it's done, but I hate it. Literally, I hate it. There's only one thing in it I like, and that's the description of the Boss, which I'm keeping. The rest goes away.

So, sorry it's taking long. At least this was a long chapter (sorry bout that). But hey, I had six weeks to plan out the rewriting of the ending, and I'm happy with my ideas. Quite happy. *smiles all happy like.* Actually, I did no writing while I was over there. I had nowhere to type, and handwriting doesn't work too well for me. I think I should have brought my palm pilot. *shrugs* probably better I didn't, but still.

I'm going to stop rambling and get to the thank yous.

Beyond the silence: yeah, you're right not to rush. That screws it up and makes you have to rewrite things. I'm so glad you liked it, and sorry I took so long finishing it. But I'm almost done! Thanks for the interactions compliment. I think I'm getting better at that. I use to be kinda bad. (Okay, really bad.) The Beth/Alucard thing was so predictable. I admit it. Romance is not my strong point. Right now I'm trying to tie up loose ends and what not with all the personality questions I had set out on the table earlier on. Clearing up pasts and all that. Thanks again!

Ninii the Lucil33t: LOL! Yes, so true. And have no fear, Alucard will be punched. He gave in and told her everything because I didn't want them to have to fight so she could find out the info. Besides it's working out pretty well this way I think. Secrets are out now, so we just have to deal with what comes next. Hope you liked the chapter!

Maude: Yes. I know. I'm a bum. That'll never change. Glad you're liking the story.

Shygirl12: Hey! You're new. Thanks for the review, glad you're liking things. Good luck on the writing bit! I so know how it feels like to only like one story. *points to this one* I like it. I don't like my first story anymore. But I managed to finish it so I'm happy. Don't give up on the other stories though! It feels to good to finally finish them. Keep writing and hope you like this one!

Jacey925: Another new person! *grins happily* you're quite flattering. That is a good thing. I liked the story line too much to turn away from it, besides, it fits in to my ideas so nicely. . . anywho, Liz is great. I like her character so much I'm considering a sequel. (but I have other things to write so it probably won't happen.) Japan was great, though I missed Pizza. Now I miss rice. American rice sucks.

Anywho, thanks to everyone! Stay tuned for the last chapter which should be popping online soon.

t.t.f.n.

~Rave