[asteric] Counting stars wishing I was ok
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to do
Counting stars again...

One my one Jamie unbuttons her shirt. And slowly slides it off. Then
while unzipping her pants she turns on the warm water. She slides her
pants off and finishes undressing. She reaches over and pushes the button
to turn on the shower and slides the curtain over and steps in. the warm
water flows on her body creating a cold sweat. She lifts her hand to
catch some water and it just falls out. Just like everything in her life...
falls out of the palm of her hand like water. The looks into the
radio/mirror her dad gave her for Christmas that no longer works. She
sees her face with dark wet hair. She stands there looking at her face
with red swollen eyes and pale skin as water flows on her face.

After her shower she gets dressed in her pajamas and walks down each step
leading down to the living room where she sits on the couch and grabs the
controller and hits the "channel up button" when all of a sudden the
phone rings. She picks up slyly answering "hello"...

[Flashback] – Jamie is not three years old with her parents at the great
escape.-

"Mommy where is daddy?" Jamie whines as she grasps the gates looking into
the amusement park with deep eyes.
"Don't worry hunny he will be here soon." Jamie's mother says softly
petting the top of Jamie's head.
"Come, lets sit down Jamie," her mother continues with a cautious voice
trying to make her feel better about her dads disappearance. "Here this
is called makeup... big girls wear it, like mommy" her mother continues,
handing Jamie a case of eye shadow trying to get her mind off of things.
Jamie takes the case and eyes it with wide eyes seeing that it was her
two favorite colors. As a child she loved pink and purple. Then her mom
handed her a small brush to apply it with. "Here let me show you." Her
mom takes her chin and gently lifts and tells her to close her eyes while
she applies a small amount of pink eye shadow to Jamie's face. She hands
Jamie the mirror to see.
"Oh my god mommy! It's so pretty! I love it! I love you! Do you have
anymore?" Jamie said with excitement.
"Of course!" Jamie's mom says while taking out a eye liner stick... a
purple eye liner stick.
"oh what's that?" Jamie said with curiosity.
Jamie's mom grabbed Jamie's face gently and turned so her cheek was
facing her. She placed the pencil on her cheek and drew to dots and a
have circle creating a smiley face. Jamie burst out in laughter when she
saw what her mom had created on her face.
"Here its your turn now."
"Really? You'll let me draw on your face? But mommy your so pretty."
"So are you baby. Common now I want a smiley face!"
All afternoon Jamie and her mom drew on each other while laughing and
giggling. That after noon Jamie knew that her mom was her favorite person
in the world and she would be lost without her.

"Do you need anything from the store?" Jamie's dad asks on the phone.
"No" Jamie simply replied.
"Damn Jamie, the only person you would ever talk to was your mother, get
over it you have to Jamie, you life is like a hell hole and the only
person you talk to and trust is your mother... she's not here anymore."
"Bye dad" Jamie hangs up the phone and starts back upstairs. Turning the
TV off on her way up. She grabs her pink eye shadow and purple eyeliner
from a box of all the things her mother gave her and applies a small
amount of eye shadow and draws smiley faces on her cheeks and breaks down
and cries while kneeling down. She scoots over to the side of her bed,
folds her hands together and bends her head down. With purple eyeliner
streaming down her face she begins to pray, to pray only to her mother.

"Mom, remember that day at the great escape? You know that day stayed
with me forever" Jamie wept. "Every time I see a small girl with her mom
I think of you, well not that I don't think about you everyday when I'm
all alone, which is all the time. Dad says its because I refuse to talk
to anyone except you. You know, someday ill be with you again, I know
that because I know that I meant as much to you and you mean to me and I
know your waiting for me and I know your with me, just like you said, you
said that you'd be with me everyday all day. And I believe you mom, you
the only one I believe, you're the only one I love, and you're the only
one I trust. No one has ever... ever understood me except you. Only you. I
love you. Please... please... its ok...cause ill be with you again someday."
Jamie finishes while lying in her bed and crying herself to sleep.

[asteric] sugar cult – counting stars