There are times when I look back and remember those glorious days in high
school, the freedom to do as I please, the recklessness, the pride, the
girlfriends, the parties, and the friends. However, there was one girl I
can never forget, one I would never want to forget. She was my angel, I
could say, the one who watched out for me and stuck up for me whenever I
was down and out.
I remember how her soft, smooth complexion gave way to her deep, chocolaty brown eyes. How her ravenous hair turned into rusty brown highlights near the tips and how her sweet scent of vanilla and cotton always swooned me into a daze.
She was the love of my life, I should say... Even though I still have a long way to go in this life, I have never met someone that's matched my love for her. When I was angry, she used to just smile and wrap her arms around my neck, hugging away my problems. I loved her so much...
But... I was young, I was foolish, and I was immature still...
I left to go to a party one night; she didn't want to go because she didn't like the people who were throwing it and the people who were attending, either. Of course I wanted to go, back then I loved going to parties, loved getting drunk. Back then, I just wanted to have fun and be stupid with my friends.
I didn't realize how stupid I was going to be...
Apparently, around 1 a.m. in the morning I had come upon an ex-girlfriend who had wandered her way into the party. I was sitting down, with my friends, drinking tequila shots and having an all around good time. I noticed her as soon as she walked through the door and I was furious that she would even show her face there, especially since she knew my friends and I would be there.
She started dancing with a friend of mine, which angered me even more. I remember standing and shouting at her, halting the noise of a party to a stop. I think all she did was turn to me and smile. She danced her way over to me and asked me to dance with her, I of course didn't want to but I didn't want her dancing with my friend, either.
I said yes...
We danced until a song came on, one that I had asked her out to. She was being seductive, trying to win be back after cheating on me. I wanted deeply to refuse her, to tell her to back off and stay out of my life, but the alcohol and the jealousy was forcing me to give in to her.
She led me into an empty bedroom and began to persuade me, to tempt me. I couldn't refuse her, at the time she was just too forceful and I still had feelings for her that were lingering inside me, needing to be fulfilled. That's where it all happened, that's where it all ended. That night...
Rinoa...
As it turns out, one of her friends caught me in the act with my ex and went rushing back to tell her. Her friend told her in the middle of her little brother's birthday, as he blew out the candles, she burst into tears and fled up to her room. I heard rumors that she would stay locked up in her room every night, just writing in a journal. I'm guessing thoughts about me, horrible, sickening thoughts about my disgusting and despicable self.
I still regret everything...
I was a senior and she was a junior... We were a year apart. Senior year came and went so fast, when it was time for me to graduate, I didn't even realize that that would be the last time I would see her. I figured it was best for me to tell her how sorry I was. I hadn't spoken to her since junior year, the year we started dating, the year I made a mistake.
I went through the whole summer break just planning what I would say to her, trying to think of anything I could say to make her forgive me.
It's too late...
On the last day of summer vacation, the day I would leave for college, I went to her house to say goodbye and tell her my apology. When I knocked on the door, a stranger answered. I was confused, puzzled, a part me of was hoping it was just a cousin staying the weekend or a friend of hers. But no, my suspicions were correct... she had moved.
She's gone...
I never got to tell her how sorry I was. Maybe it was for the better, she probably wouldn't have wanted to even listen to me, anyway.
It's in the past...
I am now 24 years old and work as a musician, a profession I never thought I'd pursue. I always hated music, but after my breakup with Rinoa, I started getting interested in guitar and singing. So now, here I am, I work at a recording studio as a lead guitarist and a backup singer. I also do a little songwriting on the side, even though it's new to me, I'm still learning.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and wonder how she's doing or what she's doing. I guess it's in the past now and all I can do is put it behind me. Anyway, it's time to get started in life, and try to find a new love. I've had many girlfriends since her, but none have taken her place in my heart. I'm still searching for someone new every day.
At this moment, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Maria and she's a cutie. She has long blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes that would remind you of an ocean. She's kept me happy for a full year now and I'm thinking of proposing to her. It's a possibility I keep going back to.
Although I can't make my decision until I'm absolutely sure there is no one else for me, I'll keep Maria close to me. After all, I do love her...
... Just not as much as...
"Squall!" my girlfriend called as she threw open the front door. I smiled slightly and stood up, holding my arms out to her. She ran into my arms and I embraced her tightly, gently kissing her on the forehead.
"Did you have a nice trip?" I asked calmly. She responded with a nod and gave me a tight hug before heading upstairs to unpack.
I sat back down on the couch and heaved a sigh as I flipped on the TV, taking a break from my thoughts. I scanned through the channels, not finding a thing to watch, so I kept scanning. I rolled my eyes at some sales program and accidentally hit the number 8 button on the remote.
I cursed myself as it flipped to a talk show, that was fuzzy and almost out of color. A familiar voice crossed the speakers and darted my attention to the screen, I scrambled up off the couch and rushed closer to the TV, trying to scam a good look to whom the voice belonged.
Is it...?
The woman who was talking was older and a little heavy set; her voice was deep and unclean. Her hair was ruffled and big, with a blackish tint to it. She was holding a book and kept blabbing on about its contents and its author.
"Ladies and gentlemen and for those of our viewers out there, this book has sold over 3 million copies alone in Balamb, Deling, and Esthar. It's currently on its way overseas to be put in bookstores everywhere! Now, let's meet the author, a charming young, sophisticated woman who has everything going for her."
"Everyone, Miss Rinoa Heartilly! The author of "If only", said to be one of the greatest romances of our time."
I dropped the remote, which ended in a large cracking sound on the wooden floor. My mouth stayed wide open as my eyes bulged out of my head. The camera shifted over to a girl I knew from my past, who had grown absolutely gorgeous over the period that I've been away from her.
Her hair was longer, her eyes had become narrower and womanlier, and her features were still small and her lips still luscious. I couldn't breathe, my face was turning a shade of red and I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Squall?" I heard a voice call from a distance. "Hey, hun, is everything all right down there?" it kept calling.
"Everything's... f-fine!" I shouted back, slowly I edged my way back to the couch and collapsed on it, further viewing the television.
"Now Miss Heartilly, tell us, what is your book about?"
She smiled, "Well, it's about true love and the things we go through to experience it."
The hefty woman chuckled, "If only things were as good in real life as they are in your book!" she exclaimed, getting a laugh out of the audience. "Tell me, it's about your fiancée, is it not?"
She paused and nodded, "Yes, yes it is. I met him a short while ago and fell head over heels in love with him. He's adorable, and I miss him so much right now. Seifer, I know you're watching so, listen up! I love you!" she called to the camera, causing the viewers to cheer.
I blinked as I let the information sink in. "She's getting married?!" I said, a little louder than I would have liked.
"Who is?" came the voice of my girlfriend, now standing behind me.
"Egh!! When did you get there?" I asked suspiciously. She slid her arms around my neck and shoulders from behind, gently kissing my jaw.
"Just now, hun... Do you know this woman?" she lightly kissed my ear and ran her fingers along my chest.
I shook my head slowly, resting my gaze on the television, on her face, on my past.
Rinoa...
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
A/N: Hi! Left you a tiny cliffhanger there. Chapter 1 was intended to be short; I mainly took time to explain his past and what happened between him and Rinoa. Now you know, and stay tuned for chapter 2. Please give me reviews! I need all the encouragement I can get at the moment! Thanks and sayonara!!
--Music of Uncertainty
I remember how her soft, smooth complexion gave way to her deep, chocolaty brown eyes. How her ravenous hair turned into rusty brown highlights near the tips and how her sweet scent of vanilla and cotton always swooned me into a daze.
She was the love of my life, I should say... Even though I still have a long way to go in this life, I have never met someone that's matched my love for her. When I was angry, she used to just smile and wrap her arms around my neck, hugging away my problems. I loved her so much...
But... I was young, I was foolish, and I was immature still...
I left to go to a party one night; she didn't want to go because she didn't like the people who were throwing it and the people who were attending, either. Of course I wanted to go, back then I loved going to parties, loved getting drunk. Back then, I just wanted to have fun and be stupid with my friends.
I didn't realize how stupid I was going to be...
Apparently, around 1 a.m. in the morning I had come upon an ex-girlfriend who had wandered her way into the party. I was sitting down, with my friends, drinking tequila shots and having an all around good time. I noticed her as soon as she walked through the door and I was furious that she would even show her face there, especially since she knew my friends and I would be there.
She started dancing with a friend of mine, which angered me even more. I remember standing and shouting at her, halting the noise of a party to a stop. I think all she did was turn to me and smile. She danced her way over to me and asked me to dance with her, I of course didn't want to but I didn't want her dancing with my friend, either.
I said yes...
We danced until a song came on, one that I had asked her out to. She was being seductive, trying to win be back after cheating on me. I wanted deeply to refuse her, to tell her to back off and stay out of my life, but the alcohol and the jealousy was forcing me to give in to her.
She led me into an empty bedroom and began to persuade me, to tempt me. I couldn't refuse her, at the time she was just too forceful and I still had feelings for her that were lingering inside me, needing to be fulfilled. That's where it all happened, that's where it all ended. That night...
Rinoa...
As it turns out, one of her friends caught me in the act with my ex and went rushing back to tell her. Her friend told her in the middle of her little brother's birthday, as he blew out the candles, she burst into tears and fled up to her room. I heard rumors that she would stay locked up in her room every night, just writing in a journal. I'm guessing thoughts about me, horrible, sickening thoughts about my disgusting and despicable self.
I still regret everything...
I was a senior and she was a junior... We were a year apart. Senior year came and went so fast, when it was time for me to graduate, I didn't even realize that that would be the last time I would see her. I figured it was best for me to tell her how sorry I was. I hadn't spoken to her since junior year, the year we started dating, the year I made a mistake.
I went through the whole summer break just planning what I would say to her, trying to think of anything I could say to make her forgive me.
It's too late...
On the last day of summer vacation, the day I would leave for college, I went to her house to say goodbye and tell her my apology. When I knocked on the door, a stranger answered. I was confused, puzzled, a part me of was hoping it was just a cousin staying the weekend or a friend of hers. But no, my suspicions were correct... she had moved.
She's gone...
I never got to tell her how sorry I was. Maybe it was for the better, she probably wouldn't have wanted to even listen to me, anyway.
It's in the past...
I am now 24 years old and work as a musician, a profession I never thought I'd pursue. I always hated music, but after my breakup with Rinoa, I started getting interested in guitar and singing. So now, here I am, I work at a recording studio as a lead guitarist and a backup singer. I also do a little songwriting on the side, even though it's new to me, I'm still learning.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and wonder how she's doing or what she's doing. I guess it's in the past now and all I can do is put it behind me. Anyway, it's time to get started in life, and try to find a new love. I've had many girlfriends since her, but none have taken her place in my heart. I'm still searching for someone new every day.
At this moment, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Maria and she's a cutie. She has long blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes that would remind you of an ocean. She's kept me happy for a full year now and I'm thinking of proposing to her. It's a possibility I keep going back to.
Although I can't make my decision until I'm absolutely sure there is no one else for me, I'll keep Maria close to me. After all, I do love her...
... Just not as much as...
"Squall!" my girlfriend called as she threw open the front door. I smiled slightly and stood up, holding my arms out to her. She ran into my arms and I embraced her tightly, gently kissing her on the forehead.
"Did you have a nice trip?" I asked calmly. She responded with a nod and gave me a tight hug before heading upstairs to unpack.
I sat back down on the couch and heaved a sigh as I flipped on the TV, taking a break from my thoughts. I scanned through the channels, not finding a thing to watch, so I kept scanning. I rolled my eyes at some sales program and accidentally hit the number 8 button on the remote.
I cursed myself as it flipped to a talk show, that was fuzzy and almost out of color. A familiar voice crossed the speakers and darted my attention to the screen, I scrambled up off the couch and rushed closer to the TV, trying to scam a good look to whom the voice belonged.
Is it...?
The woman who was talking was older and a little heavy set; her voice was deep and unclean. Her hair was ruffled and big, with a blackish tint to it. She was holding a book and kept blabbing on about its contents and its author.
"Ladies and gentlemen and for those of our viewers out there, this book has sold over 3 million copies alone in Balamb, Deling, and Esthar. It's currently on its way overseas to be put in bookstores everywhere! Now, let's meet the author, a charming young, sophisticated woman who has everything going for her."
"Everyone, Miss Rinoa Heartilly! The author of "If only", said to be one of the greatest romances of our time."
I dropped the remote, which ended in a large cracking sound on the wooden floor. My mouth stayed wide open as my eyes bulged out of my head. The camera shifted over to a girl I knew from my past, who had grown absolutely gorgeous over the period that I've been away from her.
Her hair was longer, her eyes had become narrower and womanlier, and her features were still small and her lips still luscious. I couldn't breathe, my face was turning a shade of red and I couldn't believe my eyes.
"Squall?" I heard a voice call from a distance. "Hey, hun, is everything all right down there?" it kept calling.
"Everything's... f-fine!" I shouted back, slowly I edged my way back to the couch and collapsed on it, further viewing the television.
"Now Miss Heartilly, tell us, what is your book about?"
She smiled, "Well, it's about true love and the things we go through to experience it."
The hefty woman chuckled, "If only things were as good in real life as they are in your book!" she exclaimed, getting a laugh out of the audience. "Tell me, it's about your fiancée, is it not?"
She paused and nodded, "Yes, yes it is. I met him a short while ago and fell head over heels in love with him. He's adorable, and I miss him so much right now. Seifer, I know you're watching so, listen up! I love you!" she called to the camera, causing the viewers to cheer.
I blinked as I let the information sink in. "She's getting married?!" I said, a little louder than I would have liked.
"Who is?" came the voice of my girlfriend, now standing behind me.
"Egh!! When did you get there?" I asked suspiciously. She slid her arms around my neck and shoulders from behind, gently kissing my jaw.
"Just now, hun... Do you know this woman?" she lightly kissed my ear and ran her fingers along my chest.
I shook my head slowly, resting my gaze on the television, on her face, on my past.
Rinoa...
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
A/N: Hi! Left you a tiny cliffhanger there. Chapter 1 was intended to be short; I mainly took time to explain his past and what happened between him and Rinoa. Now you know, and stay tuned for chapter 2. Please give me reviews! I need all the encouragement I can get at the moment! Thanks and sayonara!!
--Music of Uncertainty