[Asteric] I'm reading your note Over again And there's not a word Except when you signed it: "I love you always... and forever"

"I'm just so scared all the time." Lonely, crying Jamie said. She sits with a bottle of aspirin in front of her. She took it in her hand and tilted it up. 'A pain reliever'. Could it really relieve all pain, as it describes? No. Not Jamie's pain. No. "Physical pain is much better then emotional pain" She gasped.

[Flashback] "Daddy is mommy going to be ok?" Jamie whined as she stood in the hospital hall with her teddy bear squeezed tightly against her chest.

"No hunny. Mommy's not going to be ok." Jamie's father said while looking into the room with Jamie's thrashing mother. A tear ran down his cheek as he murmured his prayer and said good-bye and his 'I love you' to his now dieing wife. Jamie began to cry as she hugged her dad's leg and whined about how she loved her mommy.

"Daddy do something," The young child said while looking up at her father with desperate, teary eyes. "There's nothing I can do!" He now sounded frustrated. He pulled away from her death grip and sat down in a chair as Jamie crept forward to her mother's hospital room. As her father sat on a chair outside the door with his face down in his hands.

"Mommy..." Jamie whined slowly. "I need my mommy."

Finally a nurse came out of the room. The small Jamie ran up to her, crying hysterically tugging at the nurse's green hospital pants saying "I WANT TO SEE MY MOMMY!" over and over again. The nurse bent over and picked up the girl and pushed back a piece of hair from Jamie's head.

"Its going to be ok" The nurse whispered. And gave her father the look to let him know- She's dead.

Jamie now walked into the bathroom and grabbed onto a the sides of the sink and screamed as she threw a glass cup at the mirror. She took one of the pieces and slit her wrist. She fell to the ground and watched the blood fall. With her last moments she grabbed a piece of paper and wrote:

Dear everyone,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone that this concerns. My father- I'm sorry, I love you, and ill see you in heaven. Landon- I wish I could only explain. I'm sorry, thank you for being the only person besides my parents to talk to me.

Last but not least... my mother- here I come. It's just too much. I hurt so much. I want to be with my mother again. The only one who ever loved me, who ever understood me. I'm sorry, I really am. Many people see suicide as an insane person going crazy. That's not it, and hell should be brought to everyone who thinks that! It's a passage to a new life, brought before a person should have been given the passage. Its opening a door, that's all that death is, it's a entrance to a new life, I new start, where maybe somebody will love me and understand me- like my mother. I love her. I had to do it. No one told me too, no one pressured me, no "voices" told me to. I did it on my own. And I'm sorry. But I have to go.

Jamie.

Jamie finished the letter while bleeding all over the bathroom floor. She scribbled the letter as fast as she could. And now. It was time.

(Knock- knock)

"Yes sir?" Jamie's father answered the door. It was a panicking Landon. "I need to see her sir" Landon said, winded. "She's upstairs in her room."

Landon ran up the stairs faster then ever with the printed pieces of paper about schizophrenia. He knocked on Jamie's door, and then after few moments with no answer, he opened it and saw something in the bathroom. He slowly began walking. "Jamie?" Landon kept saying, so he wouldn't startle her. He noticed droplets of blood on the carpet. He looked in the bathroom and saw Jamie, dead, in her own pool of blood.

"Oh My God!" Landon whispered in shock. His eyes grew as he snatched the note next to her and read it while a tear ran down his cheek. He dropped the letter and fell to his knees and took Jamie's shoulders and shook her gently, hoping he wasn't too late. He whispered her name- slowly starting to say it louder. He let her go and ran down stairs to her father to tell him what happened. Hoping he was just imagining it.

Landon stood in front a beautiful rock that was in scripted "Jamie 1984- 2000... we love you" he knelt down and placed a rose. Landon was now grown. He small daughter came up to him and whispered in his ear, "Daddy... I love you!" He looked at his daughter with a tear running down his face, "I love you too Jamie." His daughter smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

THE END.

(Asteric) Dashboard confessional- "screaming infidelities."