Author's Note: This chapter is a little long. Sorry about the Jason stuff,
but I finally decided after much debate that he just couldn't stay in the
restroom forever! Thank you for the reviews as well they are much
appreciated. I'm trying something a little different. A song inspires
each chapter. This one happened to be I'll Stand By You by the Pretenders.
Disclaimer: I still don't own the Gilmore Girls. Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB do. Watch the frog.
OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
Lorelai had waited until Lane had come over to stay with Rory before she left to go back to the Dragonfly. Walking up the steps shook her head in disbelief that a mere half-hour ago she was giddily bounding up the steps looking for a camera and Band-Aids. Thirty minutes was all it took to completely destroy an evening that had begun with such hope and such promise. Lorelai sighed as she pushed open the front door. She was suddenly very happy she didn't have to stay at home that night.
She looked up and found the only other thing she didn't want to see that night. Jason Stiles. She completely forgot he was still around. She kissed Luke and then he ran off to find Kirk and in all the commotion she didn't even realize that Jason might still be around. He stood there and smiled at her.
"I was wondering when you'd come back," he said.
"Jason, you should go," Lorelai replied defeated by the night's events.
Jason, never one to take no for an answer, moved toward Lorelai and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Lorelai we need to talk. I told you I would wait and I'm waiting until we discuss us."
"Us?" Lorelai questioned. "Jason, there is no us. I tried to tell you that earlier. Just because it's not what you want to hear it doesn't mean it's any less true." Lorelai shift and brushed his hands off her shoulders.
"I know you're mad about the lawsuit," Jason pressed on as if he didn't hear her. "That's why I'm dropping the lawsuit. I'd rather be with you than without you."
"Jason, that's not the point. You're not listening to me. I don't want to be with you. You said you've been looking at the dead plant in your apartment, take a hint from that, it's dead and so are we," Lorelai stated as she tried to get past him and up the stairs. She couldn't handle a confrontation with him right now. She just wanted to get upstairs. The only person she wanted to see right now was Luke. Somehow he was the one thing in her currently insane world that made sense. She didn't know what they were to each other at the moment, but undefined or not, she needed to see him. She needed him to tell her things were going to work out. Unfortunately for Lorelai, fate seemed content on giving her Jason.
"Lorelai would you wait," Jason started to plead. "We make sense you and me. I've missed you. It's like I told your friend Luke earlier, when it's right, it's right. We're right together Lorelai," Jason said moving toward her.
"That's right you talked to Luke," Lorelai said remembering that Luke had said he talked to Jason. "Jason, I don't what to say to you. You're not getting the hint. I'm not interested anymore. I'm sorry. I think you're a nice guy, but we don't work. We don't work for so many reasons I can't even begin to name them all, but most importantly we don't work because I've moved on."
Jason looked taken aback by Lorelai's last statement. Lorelai herself was surprised she had stated it out loud, but it was true. For the last few days her head swam in thoughts of Luke. How Luke danced and how he brought her flowers. She had turned into a regular Mary Katherine Gallagher tripping over things when she saw him. The simple thought of Luke made her happy. She hadn't felt that way before. Not even with Christopher.
"You've moved on?" Jason questioned slightly angry. "With who?"
Lorelai scratched her head and sighed. "Jason, I don't want to get into this with you, okay? Can't we drop this? I just don't want to be with you."
Jason suddenly looked crest-fallen. He wasn't used to hearing no for an answer. He wasn't used to losing. He was a fighter, but Lorelai had made it pretty clear that no amount of fight would help him win this battle. He lowered his head in defeat.
"Well if that's how you feel," he started.
"It is," Lorelai said before he could finish his thought.
He glanced up at her. She was being very cold. He knew her resolve was strong and he knew she wouldn't be changing her mind any time soon.
"Fine," he said. "I guess I'll see you around," he said as he turned to leave.
Lorelai realized how rude she was being. She didn't love Jason, but he didn't deserve this.
"Jason," she called after him. He turned to face her in the doorway. "I'm sorry things didn't work out. You are a great guy and I'm sure you'll find someone. I just don't think that someone is me," she finished sheepishly.
"Yeah, thanks," he said as he turned. "Maybe I'll see you around sometime." With that he turned on his heel and made a quick exit. Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief. She started her way up the stairs hoping against hope that Luke would still be awake.
Lorelai stood outside the door of room lucky seven for a few minutes. She was nervous. Luke had kissed her. She had kissed Luke. The thing was that she was always so afraid of crossing that line with Luke. She thought that kissing Luke would be weird and embarrassing, but it was quite the opposite. Kissing Luke had been so right and so beautiful. If Kirk hadn't run screaming down the stairs naked, who knows what would have happened next? Lorelai's problem at this moment was that she needed Luke, boyfriend Luke, friend Luke or coffee man Luke she just needed to be with him. She always felt safe around Luke, like whatever awful thing was happening wasn't because he was there to make it better. "You are dense Lorelai," she thought to herself. "Luke makes everything better all the time. You run to him when you're sad or confused or hurt and you're only realizing now that he's right for you?"
Slowly she lifted her fist and knocked gently on the door. She inhaled deeply as the door swung open. Luke stood in the doorway. He looked like Luke, only something was different. Lorelai was suddenly beginning to notice just how sexy he was. But she wasn't here for that, at least not now.
"Hey," he said with a smile. "I was wondering if you'd be by."
"Hi," Lorelai said and she couldn't help but grin slightly.
"He opened the door wider and motioned with his arm. "Come on in," he said.
Lorelai walked through the threshold wringing her hands as Luke shut the door behind her. He noticed that she seemed nervous. He suddenly had a horrible vision that maybe she was here to tell him the kiss was a mistake. That Jason had somehow changed her mind. Where the hell was that guy anyway? He went to the restroom an hour ago and Luke never saw him again. Although Luke was chasing Kirk through the forest for a good portion of that hour, but he couldn't have gotten to Lorelai, could he? She couldn't have come here to give him the brush off. He could remember the feel of her lips on his. He still had the vivid memory of Lorelai's arms around him, her hands on his back, his waist and his around her. She couldn't come in here now and tell him it was a mistake.
"So, uh how was—"he said shoving his hands in his pockets.
Lorelai turned and put up her hand to stop him from talking. "Luke, so much has happened tonight and I don't know what's going on with us. I mean, I know we need to talk about us and kissing and everything, but I just need you to be Luke right now okay?"
"Be Luke?" he questioned. She was obviously upset over something. Luke was happy that it didn't seem to have anything to do with not wanting to be with him, but he was confused nonetheless.
"Yeah," she replied starting to pace the floor. "You know don't be date Luke, just," she was struggling to find the right words. "I just need to talk to you," she finally decided on.
Luke still wasn't totally clear on what was going on, but it was clear Lorelai was upset. He sat down on the bed and prepared to listen.
"Okay, I'm listening, whatever you need," he replied.
Lorelai took another deep breath. She was so conflicted about telling anyone about what happened with Rory and Dean, but she needed someone to confide in. Sookie was long asleep, Rory was part of the problem and Luke was the next obvious choice.
"Okay, this breaks every rule of the mother/daughter thou shall not tell code, but I'm going crazy and I just need someone to talk to," she started. Luke nodded silently and Lorelai continued. "Well I went home to get bandages and the camera and Rory was there. I'd sent her to get some CDs and I came downstairs and she came out of her room," Lorelai said. Luke just looked at her, waiting for the kicker to make this story something to stress over. "With Dean," she finished. And there it was.
"Dean?" Luke asked.
"Dean, first boyfriend, first love, married Dean. Dean," Lorelai said emphatically. There was only one thing that sprang to Luke's mind when she said it and he knew whatever the problem was it couldn't be that.
"So, he was helping her pick out CDs?" he ventured optimistically.
"Oh he was helping her with something alright. She, they were, they..." Lorelai stopped she couldn't even say it out loud. She felt ashamed. Her daughter had an affair. It was that simple. Luke stood up and walked over to Lorelai placing a steady hand on her shoulder.
"They slept together?" Luke asked just to be clear.
"Yeah," Lorelai said lowering her head in her hands. Luke dropped his hand from her shoulder and balled his hands into fists. Soon enough he was pacing the room.
"I'm gonna kill him," Luke burst. He was walking back and forth quickly and nodding his head. "I told you when he first came to town he was trouble. I'm gonna kill him. How could he do this? He's married!"
"Luke, calm down," Lorelai said surprised by his reaction. "It took the both of them. My daughter had no trouble playing Elizabeth Taylor to his Eddie Fischer."
"He shouldn't have married that girl," Luke said. His voice was calmer but he was still pacing the floor. Suddenly his thought shifted. "Is Rory okay? I mean she was okay with it right? Because if not, I'm really gonna have to kill him."
"No, believe me she thought it was great until I pointed how naïve and incredibly stupid it was," Lorelai let out exasperated. "She told me she hated me. God Luke, what am I gonna do?"
Luke stopped pacing and ran to put his arm around Lorelai. He didn't have a clue what to say. He couldn't believe that Dean had cheated on his wife with Rory. He couldn't believe that Rory didn't think it was wrong. Somewhere in the back of Luke's mind he hoped that Dean had somehow brainwashed Rory into thinking it was okay. Luke thought back to Nicole and the Sockman. He wanted to kill the Sockman. If Dean's wife found out it was pretty certain she'd want to kill Rory. Luke was as stunned as Lorelai about the whole thing.
"It's okay," he said pulling her into a hug. Lorelai rested her face on his shoulder. "It'll be okay. People make mistakes right?"
"Yeah, I guess, but not Rory. I can't believe she let it happen this way?" Lorelai said.
"Let it happen this way? What do you mean?" Luke asked.
"Look, this is probably too much information. I don't even know what I should or shouldn't be saying right now, but that was Rory's first experience with, you know," Lorelai said. She wasn't sure she should be discussing this with Luke, but they were friends and now somewhat more than friends. She needed someone to talk this through with so Luke needed to have all the details.
"Oh," Luke said uncomfortably. He wasn't sure he wanted that much information about Rory either, but there it was. "Look Lorelai, this isn't your fault. You're a terrific mother. They're young and obviously not thinking clearly. Well I hope not anyway," Luke tried to console her.
Lorelai just rested her head on Luke's shoulder and felt him gently stroke the back of her neck with his hand. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of him. If someone had told her a week ago that she would be with Luke, like this, she wouldn't have believed it. She was so conflicted about her emotions over Rory, but one emotion that had remained constant all evening was her feelings for Luke. Being with him seemed so right, so obvious, that she couldn't believe she had denied herself this feeling for so long.
Luke was quiet just taking in the moment. He couldn't believe what Lorelai had just told him. He had so many conflicting thoughts. On one hand he wanted Dean to die a slow and painful death involving honey and flaming red ants. On the other he couldn't believe Rory had made such an awful decision. On top of this he knew Lorelai felt responsible. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she felt like a failure in the mother department. He wanted to make her see that she couldn't have prevented this.
"Um, I have to say something and it in no way means that I still don't want Dean beaten for this and it doesn't excuse what happened, but for what it's worth I think he really loves Rory," Luke said.
Lorelai pulled away from Luke and looked at him. "What?" was her weak reply.
"Look I saw Dean at his bachelor party. He'd been drinking and he made a comment about Rory. I thought it was the alcohol talking but then I ran into him again and he got distracted when he was talking. I looked over and you and Rory were getting out of your Jeep," Luke said. "I don't think he's ever stopped loving her. Not that it's okay, or it makes it better, but I really don't think he was taking advantage of her for just, you know. I think he's still in love with her."
Lorelai just looked at Luke. She couldn't believe what he just said. Somewhere in the back of Lorelai's head she always knew Dean got married on the rebound, but she didn't expect Luke, of all people, to tell her that Dean really loved Rory.
"If he really loved Rory he wouldn't have put her in this situation," Lorelai reasoned. "If he really loved her he'd have gotten divorced or at least moved out before he did this. Love isn't never having to say you're sorry. Love is never forcing your partner to become an adulterer to be with you," Lorelai started to get worked up.
"Do you want to know what the saddest thing about it was? I asked Rory if he was getting divorced. I told her it wasn't official until he took the ring off. Do you know what her response was?" she asked Luke. He shook his head. "Her response was, 'he took the ring off.' He took the ring off Luke! That means they were both conscious of the fact that he had a ring on in the first place. They were both thinking clearly enough to ditch the ring before jumped into bed together."
Luke's eyes widened and he let out a deep breath. He wasn't sure what to say or do to help Lorelai. Lorelai lowered her head. She didn't know what to say or think anymore. She was sick. Sick to her stomach and heartsick over Rory's decision to sleep with Dean. She felt like a terrible failure as a parent and there was nothing she could do to make the sickness go away. For the time being she didn't want to think about it.
"Do you know that tonight was gearing up to be one of the best night's of life?" she asked looking up at Luke.
"I'm sure it was," he said. "The inn is great Lorelai. You did a terrific job and you shouldn't let this overshadow it."
"Thanks, for the compliment and for listening. I don't really feel like talking about this subject anymore tonight," she said. She paused for a moment unsure of what to say. For his part Luke didn't know what to say either. He knew he wanted to talk to Lorelai about their relationship, but he didn't think it was the right time given the evening's events.
"You know it wasn't just the inn that was so great," she said smiling shyly. Lorelai felt safe and warm in Luke's strong arms and it was clear that was where she was hoping this conversation would lead her.
"Yeah, I'm sure seeing Kirk naked was a highlight for all of Stars Hollow," he deadpanned as he approached her slowly.
Lorelai laughed a little and slowly started to move toward him until they were inches apart. "Yeah, that was a definite highlight, but I'm kind of mad at him."
"Why's that?" Luke asked.
"Well I'm pretty sure you and I were in the middle of something when he came screaming down the stairs." Lorelai reached her hands forward and started to lightly smooth the wrinkles out of Luke's shirt.
"We were, weren't we?" Luke said with a sly grin. He reached his arms toward her waist and pulled her to him. Lorelai threw her arms gently around Luke's neck and soon enough their lips met again. Yet again this movement seemed natural and comforting. This time with no interruptions the kiss deepened. Luke moved his hands up Lorelai's back and pressed her into him. Lorelai's hand dropped down from Luke's neck and rested firmly on his chest as she tugged at his shirt. They were both cognizant of the fact that they were inching toward the bed, but neither broke the contact between them.
Finally they made the way to the side of the bed and their lips parted. Lorelai sat on the bed, looked at Luke and playfully tugged his shirt as she pulled him down on top of her. Once again their lips met with a fury that had been long bottled. Lorelai stroked the side of Luke's face as they kissed. Luke's hands probed her stomach. He contemplated moving his hand under her shirt, but thought better of it. There would be plenty of time. Lorelai had feelings-- romantic feelings for him--and that was enough. They broke apart needing precious oxygen to breathe. Luke started to lean his head back toward Lorelai, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest.
"So, I guess we're not exactly friends anymore," she stated simply.
"No, we're better than that," Luke smiled.
"So remind me why we haven't been doing this all along?" she asked leaning on her side propping her head in her hand.
"Because you and I, although fairly intelligent people, are deeply stupid," he replied propping himself on his side like Lorelai had done.
They were facing each other, inches apart, and they could feel the heat radiating off of each other's body.
"Am I a horrible mother Luke?" Lorelai switched the topic of conversation again.
Luke put his hand on her thigh and gave it a few soft strokes. "You are not a horrible mother Lorelai. What happened with Rory and Dean isn't your fault."
"But she should have known better. Am I the kind of mother that taught he kid it's okay to sleep with a married man?"
"No," he replied forcefully. "Lorelai you are a terrific mom. No parent can protect their kids from the world forever. People are fallible, even Rory. She messed up big, but it was bound to happen eventually. Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome of this." He tried to reassure her, but he knew he wasn't going to be successful.
"She threw my relationship with Chris in my face," Lorelai stated. "She basically said I was a homewreaker when I was with Christopher. The big difference was Chris wasn't married and I had no idea Sherry was pregnant. Neither did he, but Rory failed to remember that little bit of the story," Lorelai got a little worked up.
Luke got a little uncomfortable. He never wanted to hear about Lorelai's relationships, but her relationship with Chris was the worst because she had actually loved him. Luke knew of all her boyfriends Chris was the only one with any hold over her.
Lorelai noticed he was uncomfortable and rubbed his forearm with her hand. "I'm sorry. It's done. I'm not talking about this anymore."
"No, it's okay. You need to talk about it," he replied taking her hand and intertwining his fingers with her.
"No, I should go to bed anyway. It's late and I have an inn full of people to serve tomorrow," she said starting to sit up.
"You don't have to go you know," Luke ventured. "I mean I don't want to-- we don't have to," he was flustered and stammering. "I just meant you could sleep here if you wanted company," he finally choked out as he sat up.
Lorelai was so close to saying yes. To be in Luke's arms might help her actually sleep tonight. But then she thought about it. She thought about how Rory had slept with Dean. What if Lorelai's relationships were what made Rory think this behavior was okay? She had certainly alluded to that fact with the Christopher comment that she made. Lorelai and Luke hadn't even been on an actual date yet and she was contemplating staying with him. It was all innocent enough on a normal day, but not tonight.
"No, thanks," she declined with a small frown. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just with Rory and everything...I think we should take this slow. Not that sleeping, actually sleeping, in the same bed is fast, but this feels right but it's also a little scary. The you and me thing. Do you think we could just take it slow?"
Luke smiled at her. Usually Lorelai jumped into relationship really fast. It made him happy to know that she felt different about him, about a relationship with him. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said patting her hand.
"Good," she said with a smile of relief. "Uh and about the you and me thing?"
"Yeah?" he said.
"Can we keep it kind of secret for now? I know that sounds so juvenile and that was a problem with me and," she stopped herself from saying Jason, "someone else. But you know Stars Hollow and the second Miss Patty and Babette find out it'll be—"
"Bad," Luke cut her off. "I am terrific with the not telling. I just hope no one saw you come in here otherwise it'll be all over town by morning."
They stood up and Luke walked Lorelai over to the door. "So about that movie date tomorrow, are we still on?" he asked.
"Only if we can see whatever I pick," she said.
"The things we do for others. Fine," he conceded. "You've earned it."
"Good. How do you look in armor? I was thinking if we saw Troy we could dress up and you could be Agamemnon and I could be Helen," she said with a sly grin.
"Yeah, that'll happen," he said dryly.
"Just checking. Party pooper," she said as she leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his lips.
"Goodnight. Thanks for listening," she said.
"You're welcome," he replied with a small grin. "Goodnight. And don't worry about anything. It'll all work out."
Luke shut the door behind her. "From your luscious lips to God's ears," thought Lorelai as she let herself into her room.
TBC
Disclaimer: I still don't own the Gilmore Girls. Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB do. Watch the frog.
OH, WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD?
TEARS ARE IN YOUR EYES
COME ON AND COME TO ME NOW
DON'T BE ASHAMED TO CRY
LET ME SEE YOU THROUGH
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN THE DARK SIDE TOO
WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS ON YOU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
NOTHING YOU CONFESS
COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS
I'LL STAND BY YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
WON'T LET NOBODY HURT YOU
I'LL STAND BY YOU
Lorelai had waited until Lane had come over to stay with Rory before she left to go back to the Dragonfly. Walking up the steps shook her head in disbelief that a mere half-hour ago she was giddily bounding up the steps looking for a camera and Band-Aids. Thirty minutes was all it took to completely destroy an evening that had begun with such hope and such promise. Lorelai sighed as she pushed open the front door. She was suddenly very happy she didn't have to stay at home that night.
She looked up and found the only other thing she didn't want to see that night. Jason Stiles. She completely forgot he was still around. She kissed Luke and then he ran off to find Kirk and in all the commotion she didn't even realize that Jason might still be around. He stood there and smiled at her.
"I was wondering when you'd come back," he said.
"Jason, you should go," Lorelai replied defeated by the night's events.
Jason, never one to take no for an answer, moved toward Lorelai and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Lorelai we need to talk. I told you I would wait and I'm waiting until we discuss us."
"Us?" Lorelai questioned. "Jason, there is no us. I tried to tell you that earlier. Just because it's not what you want to hear it doesn't mean it's any less true." Lorelai shift and brushed his hands off her shoulders.
"I know you're mad about the lawsuit," Jason pressed on as if he didn't hear her. "That's why I'm dropping the lawsuit. I'd rather be with you than without you."
"Jason, that's not the point. You're not listening to me. I don't want to be with you. You said you've been looking at the dead plant in your apartment, take a hint from that, it's dead and so are we," Lorelai stated as she tried to get past him and up the stairs. She couldn't handle a confrontation with him right now. She just wanted to get upstairs. The only person she wanted to see right now was Luke. Somehow he was the one thing in her currently insane world that made sense. She didn't know what they were to each other at the moment, but undefined or not, she needed to see him. She needed him to tell her things were going to work out. Unfortunately for Lorelai, fate seemed content on giving her Jason.
"Lorelai would you wait," Jason started to plead. "We make sense you and me. I've missed you. It's like I told your friend Luke earlier, when it's right, it's right. We're right together Lorelai," Jason said moving toward her.
"That's right you talked to Luke," Lorelai said remembering that Luke had said he talked to Jason. "Jason, I don't what to say to you. You're not getting the hint. I'm not interested anymore. I'm sorry. I think you're a nice guy, but we don't work. We don't work for so many reasons I can't even begin to name them all, but most importantly we don't work because I've moved on."
Jason looked taken aback by Lorelai's last statement. Lorelai herself was surprised she had stated it out loud, but it was true. For the last few days her head swam in thoughts of Luke. How Luke danced and how he brought her flowers. She had turned into a regular Mary Katherine Gallagher tripping over things when she saw him. The simple thought of Luke made her happy. She hadn't felt that way before. Not even with Christopher.
"You've moved on?" Jason questioned slightly angry. "With who?"
Lorelai scratched her head and sighed. "Jason, I don't want to get into this with you, okay? Can't we drop this? I just don't want to be with you."
Jason suddenly looked crest-fallen. He wasn't used to hearing no for an answer. He wasn't used to losing. He was a fighter, but Lorelai had made it pretty clear that no amount of fight would help him win this battle. He lowered his head in defeat.
"Well if that's how you feel," he started.
"It is," Lorelai said before he could finish his thought.
He glanced up at her. She was being very cold. He knew her resolve was strong and he knew she wouldn't be changing her mind any time soon.
"Fine," he said. "I guess I'll see you around," he said as he turned to leave.
Lorelai realized how rude she was being. She didn't love Jason, but he didn't deserve this.
"Jason," she called after him. He turned to face her in the doorway. "I'm sorry things didn't work out. You are a great guy and I'm sure you'll find someone. I just don't think that someone is me," she finished sheepishly.
"Yeah, thanks," he said as he turned. "Maybe I'll see you around sometime." With that he turned on his heel and made a quick exit. Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief. She started her way up the stairs hoping against hope that Luke would still be awake.
Lorelai stood outside the door of room lucky seven for a few minutes. She was nervous. Luke had kissed her. She had kissed Luke. The thing was that she was always so afraid of crossing that line with Luke. She thought that kissing Luke would be weird and embarrassing, but it was quite the opposite. Kissing Luke had been so right and so beautiful. If Kirk hadn't run screaming down the stairs naked, who knows what would have happened next? Lorelai's problem at this moment was that she needed Luke, boyfriend Luke, friend Luke or coffee man Luke she just needed to be with him. She always felt safe around Luke, like whatever awful thing was happening wasn't because he was there to make it better. "You are dense Lorelai," she thought to herself. "Luke makes everything better all the time. You run to him when you're sad or confused or hurt and you're only realizing now that he's right for you?"
Slowly she lifted her fist and knocked gently on the door. She inhaled deeply as the door swung open. Luke stood in the doorway. He looked like Luke, only something was different. Lorelai was suddenly beginning to notice just how sexy he was. But she wasn't here for that, at least not now.
"Hey," he said with a smile. "I was wondering if you'd be by."
"Hi," Lorelai said and she couldn't help but grin slightly.
"He opened the door wider and motioned with his arm. "Come on in," he said.
Lorelai walked through the threshold wringing her hands as Luke shut the door behind her. He noticed that she seemed nervous. He suddenly had a horrible vision that maybe she was here to tell him the kiss was a mistake. That Jason had somehow changed her mind. Where the hell was that guy anyway? He went to the restroom an hour ago and Luke never saw him again. Although Luke was chasing Kirk through the forest for a good portion of that hour, but he couldn't have gotten to Lorelai, could he? She couldn't have come here to give him the brush off. He could remember the feel of her lips on his. He still had the vivid memory of Lorelai's arms around him, her hands on his back, his waist and his around her. She couldn't come in here now and tell him it was a mistake.
"So, uh how was—"he said shoving his hands in his pockets.
Lorelai turned and put up her hand to stop him from talking. "Luke, so much has happened tonight and I don't know what's going on with us. I mean, I know we need to talk about us and kissing and everything, but I just need you to be Luke right now okay?"
"Be Luke?" he questioned. She was obviously upset over something. Luke was happy that it didn't seem to have anything to do with not wanting to be with him, but he was confused nonetheless.
"Yeah," she replied starting to pace the floor. "You know don't be date Luke, just," she was struggling to find the right words. "I just need to talk to you," she finally decided on.
Luke still wasn't totally clear on what was going on, but it was clear Lorelai was upset. He sat down on the bed and prepared to listen.
"Okay, I'm listening, whatever you need," he replied.
Lorelai took another deep breath. She was so conflicted about telling anyone about what happened with Rory and Dean, but she needed someone to confide in. Sookie was long asleep, Rory was part of the problem and Luke was the next obvious choice.
"Okay, this breaks every rule of the mother/daughter thou shall not tell code, but I'm going crazy and I just need someone to talk to," she started. Luke nodded silently and Lorelai continued. "Well I went home to get bandages and the camera and Rory was there. I'd sent her to get some CDs and I came downstairs and she came out of her room," Lorelai said. Luke just looked at her, waiting for the kicker to make this story something to stress over. "With Dean," she finished. And there it was.
"Dean?" Luke asked.
"Dean, first boyfriend, first love, married Dean. Dean," Lorelai said emphatically. There was only one thing that sprang to Luke's mind when she said it and he knew whatever the problem was it couldn't be that.
"So, he was helping her pick out CDs?" he ventured optimistically.
"Oh he was helping her with something alright. She, they were, they..." Lorelai stopped she couldn't even say it out loud. She felt ashamed. Her daughter had an affair. It was that simple. Luke stood up and walked over to Lorelai placing a steady hand on her shoulder.
"They slept together?" Luke asked just to be clear.
"Yeah," Lorelai said lowering her head in her hands. Luke dropped his hand from her shoulder and balled his hands into fists. Soon enough he was pacing the room.
"I'm gonna kill him," Luke burst. He was walking back and forth quickly and nodding his head. "I told you when he first came to town he was trouble. I'm gonna kill him. How could he do this? He's married!"
"Luke, calm down," Lorelai said surprised by his reaction. "It took the both of them. My daughter had no trouble playing Elizabeth Taylor to his Eddie Fischer."
"He shouldn't have married that girl," Luke said. His voice was calmer but he was still pacing the floor. Suddenly his thought shifted. "Is Rory okay? I mean she was okay with it right? Because if not, I'm really gonna have to kill him."
"No, believe me she thought it was great until I pointed how naïve and incredibly stupid it was," Lorelai let out exasperated. "She told me she hated me. God Luke, what am I gonna do?"
Luke stopped pacing and ran to put his arm around Lorelai. He didn't have a clue what to say. He couldn't believe that Dean had cheated on his wife with Rory. He couldn't believe that Rory didn't think it was wrong. Somewhere in the back of Luke's mind he hoped that Dean had somehow brainwashed Rory into thinking it was okay. Luke thought back to Nicole and the Sockman. He wanted to kill the Sockman. If Dean's wife found out it was pretty certain she'd want to kill Rory. Luke was as stunned as Lorelai about the whole thing.
"It's okay," he said pulling her into a hug. Lorelai rested her face on his shoulder. "It'll be okay. People make mistakes right?"
"Yeah, I guess, but not Rory. I can't believe she let it happen this way?" Lorelai said.
"Let it happen this way? What do you mean?" Luke asked.
"Look, this is probably too much information. I don't even know what I should or shouldn't be saying right now, but that was Rory's first experience with, you know," Lorelai said. She wasn't sure she should be discussing this with Luke, but they were friends and now somewhat more than friends. She needed someone to talk this through with so Luke needed to have all the details.
"Oh," Luke said uncomfortably. He wasn't sure he wanted that much information about Rory either, but there it was. "Look Lorelai, this isn't your fault. You're a terrific mother. They're young and obviously not thinking clearly. Well I hope not anyway," Luke tried to console her.
Lorelai just rested her head on Luke's shoulder and felt him gently stroke the back of her neck with his hand. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of him. If someone had told her a week ago that she would be with Luke, like this, she wouldn't have believed it. She was so conflicted about her emotions over Rory, but one emotion that had remained constant all evening was her feelings for Luke. Being with him seemed so right, so obvious, that she couldn't believe she had denied herself this feeling for so long.
Luke was quiet just taking in the moment. He couldn't believe what Lorelai had just told him. He had so many conflicting thoughts. On one hand he wanted Dean to die a slow and painful death involving honey and flaming red ants. On the other he couldn't believe Rory had made such an awful decision. On top of this he knew Lorelai felt responsible. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she felt like a failure in the mother department. He wanted to make her see that she couldn't have prevented this.
"Um, I have to say something and it in no way means that I still don't want Dean beaten for this and it doesn't excuse what happened, but for what it's worth I think he really loves Rory," Luke said.
Lorelai pulled away from Luke and looked at him. "What?" was her weak reply.
"Look I saw Dean at his bachelor party. He'd been drinking and he made a comment about Rory. I thought it was the alcohol talking but then I ran into him again and he got distracted when he was talking. I looked over and you and Rory were getting out of your Jeep," Luke said. "I don't think he's ever stopped loving her. Not that it's okay, or it makes it better, but I really don't think he was taking advantage of her for just, you know. I think he's still in love with her."
Lorelai just looked at Luke. She couldn't believe what he just said. Somewhere in the back of Lorelai's head she always knew Dean got married on the rebound, but she didn't expect Luke, of all people, to tell her that Dean really loved Rory.
"If he really loved Rory he wouldn't have put her in this situation," Lorelai reasoned. "If he really loved her he'd have gotten divorced or at least moved out before he did this. Love isn't never having to say you're sorry. Love is never forcing your partner to become an adulterer to be with you," Lorelai started to get worked up.
"Do you want to know what the saddest thing about it was? I asked Rory if he was getting divorced. I told her it wasn't official until he took the ring off. Do you know what her response was?" she asked Luke. He shook his head. "Her response was, 'he took the ring off.' He took the ring off Luke! That means they were both conscious of the fact that he had a ring on in the first place. They were both thinking clearly enough to ditch the ring before jumped into bed together."
Luke's eyes widened and he let out a deep breath. He wasn't sure what to say or do to help Lorelai. Lorelai lowered her head. She didn't know what to say or think anymore. She was sick. Sick to her stomach and heartsick over Rory's decision to sleep with Dean. She felt like a terrible failure as a parent and there was nothing she could do to make the sickness go away. For the time being she didn't want to think about it.
"Do you know that tonight was gearing up to be one of the best night's of life?" she asked looking up at Luke.
"I'm sure it was," he said. "The inn is great Lorelai. You did a terrific job and you shouldn't let this overshadow it."
"Thanks, for the compliment and for listening. I don't really feel like talking about this subject anymore tonight," she said. She paused for a moment unsure of what to say. For his part Luke didn't know what to say either. He knew he wanted to talk to Lorelai about their relationship, but he didn't think it was the right time given the evening's events.
"You know it wasn't just the inn that was so great," she said smiling shyly. Lorelai felt safe and warm in Luke's strong arms and it was clear that was where she was hoping this conversation would lead her.
"Yeah, I'm sure seeing Kirk naked was a highlight for all of Stars Hollow," he deadpanned as he approached her slowly.
Lorelai laughed a little and slowly started to move toward him until they were inches apart. "Yeah, that was a definite highlight, but I'm kind of mad at him."
"Why's that?" Luke asked.
"Well I'm pretty sure you and I were in the middle of something when he came screaming down the stairs." Lorelai reached her hands forward and started to lightly smooth the wrinkles out of Luke's shirt.
"We were, weren't we?" Luke said with a sly grin. He reached his arms toward her waist and pulled her to him. Lorelai threw her arms gently around Luke's neck and soon enough their lips met again. Yet again this movement seemed natural and comforting. This time with no interruptions the kiss deepened. Luke moved his hands up Lorelai's back and pressed her into him. Lorelai's hand dropped down from Luke's neck and rested firmly on his chest as she tugged at his shirt. They were both cognizant of the fact that they were inching toward the bed, but neither broke the contact between them.
Finally they made the way to the side of the bed and their lips parted. Lorelai sat on the bed, looked at Luke and playfully tugged his shirt as she pulled him down on top of her. Once again their lips met with a fury that had been long bottled. Lorelai stroked the side of Luke's face as they kissed. Luke's hands probed her stomach. He contemplated moving his hand under her shirt, but thought better of it. There would be plenty of time. Lorelai had feelings-- romantic feelings for him--and that was enough. They broke apart needing precious oxygen to breathe. Luke started to lean his head back toward Lorelai, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest.
"So, I guess we're not exactly friends anymore," she stated simply.
"No, we're better than that," Luke smiled.
"So remind me why we haven't been doing this all along?" she asked leaning on her side propping her head in her hand.
"Because you and I, although fairly intelligent people, are deeply stupid," he replied propping himself on his side like Lorelai had done.
They were facing each other, inches apart, and they could feel the heat radiating off of each other's body.
"Am I a horrible mother Luke?" Lorelai switched the topic of conversation again.
Luke put his hand on her thigh and gave it a few soft strokes. "You are not a horrible mother Lorelai. What happened with Rory and Dean isn't your fault."
"But she should have known better. Am I the kind of mother that taught he kid it's okay to sleep with a married man?"
"No," he replied forcefully. "Lorelai you are a terrific mom. No parent can protect their kids from the world forever. People are fallible, even Rory. She messed up big, but it was bound to happen eventually. Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome of this." He tried to reassure her, but he knew he wasn't going to be successful.
"She threw my relationship with Chris in my face," Lorelai stated. "She basically said I was a homewreaker when I was with Christopher. The big difference was Chris wasn't married and I had no idea Sherry was pregnant. Neither did he, but Rory failed to remember that little bit of the story," Lorelai got a little worked up.
Luke got a little uncomfortable. He never wanted to hear about Lorelai's relationships, but her relationship with Chris was the worst because she had actually loved him. Luke knew of all her boyfriends Chris was the only one with any hold over her.
Lorelai noticed he was uncomfortable and rubbed his forearm with her hand. "I'm sorry. It's done. I'm not talking about this anymore."
"No, it's okay. You need to talk about it," he replied taking her hand and intertwining his fingers with her.
"No, I should go to bed anyway. It's late and I have an inn full of people to serve tomorrow," she said starting to sit up.
"You don't have to go you know," Luke ventured. "I mean I don't want to-- we don't have to," he was flustered and stammering. "I just meant you could sleep here if you wanted company," he finally choked out as he sat up.
Lorelai was so close to saying yes. To be in Luke's arms might help her actually sleep tonight. But then she thought about it. She thought about how Rory had slept with Dean. What if Lorelai's relationships were what made Rory think this behavior was okay? She had certainly alluded to that fact with the Christopher comment that she made. Lorelai and Luke hadn't even been on an actual date yet and she was contemplating staying with him. It was all innocent enough on a normal day, but not tonight.
"No, thanks," she declined with a small frown. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just with Rory and everything...I think we should take this slow. Not that sleeping, actually sleeping, in the same bed is fast, but this feels right but it's also a little scary. The you and me thing. Do you think we could just take it slow?"
Luke smiled at her. Usually Lorelai jumped into relationship really fast. It made him happy to know that she felt different about him, about a relationship with him. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said patting her hand.
"Good," she said with a smile of relief. "Uh and about the you and me thing?"
"Yeah?" he said.
"Can we keep it kind of secret for now? I know that sounds so juvenile and that was a problem with me and," she stopped herself from saying Jason, "someone else. But you know Stars Hollow and the second Miss Patty and Babette find out it'll be—"
"Bad," Luke cut her off. "I am terrific with the not telling. I just hope no one saw you come in here otherwise it'll be all over town by morning."
They stood up and Luke walked Lorelai over to the door. "So about that movie date tomorrow, are we still on?" he asked.
"Only if we can see whatever I pick," she said.
"The things we do for others. Fine," he conceded. "You've earned it."
"Good. How do you look in armor? I was thinking if we saw Troy we could dress up and you could be Agamemnon and I could be Helen," she said with a sly grin.
"Yeah, that'll happen," he said dryly.
"Just checking. Party pooper," she said as she leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his lips.
"Goodnight. Thanks for listening," she said.
"You're welcome," he replied with a small grin. "Goodnight. And don't worry about anything. It'll all work out."
Luke shut the door behind her. "From your luscious lips to God's ears," thought Lorelai as she let herself into her room.
TBC