Author's Note: Thanks for the kind reviews. I still don't own any of the Gilmore Girls or the songs.

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

I've been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Children get older

I'm getting older too

Lorelai opened the door to her house at 5 p.m. happy for a successful test run, but grateful that the day was over. She knew running an inn was going to be hard work, but she was exhausted, emotionally and otherwise. She shut the door behind her and threw her purse on the couch.

"Rory?" she called through the house.

"Hi," Rory said emerging from her room, alone, Lorelai hoped.

"Hey babe, how's it going?" Lorelai asked trying to muster the will to be sympathetic. She really did feel for her daughter, but at the same time she still couldn't believe what she let happen.

"It's going," Rory said coming into the living room and slumping into the couch. Lorelai followed suit and sat down next to her daughter.

"Rory, I know things aren't that great between us right now, but I want to know that you can still tell me anything. You know that right?" Lorelai said tucking a piece of hair behind Rory's ear.

"I know, but you were right," Rory sighed. "I completely messed things up. I don't know why I let it happen." Fresh tears were beginning to pool in her eyes and Lorelai's heart broke for her. "I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I was mad at myself, not you. I'm sorry."

"Oh sweetie," Lorelai said pulling Rory into a light hug. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry this happened at all. I just don't understand how you let this happen," Lorelai said.

Rory was cradled in her mother's arms and she started to cry. "I don't know how I let this happen either. Everything was just so messed up this year. Everything changed and I just wanted everything to feel normal again."

"And Dean made you feel normal again?" Lorelai asked still hugging her daughter close.

"I know it doesn't make sense," Rory said pulling away from Lorelai and wiping her eyes. "I know I broke up with Dean a long time ago, but when I came home he was always around and it didn't seem like he was married. He just seemed like he was the same Dean he'd always been. He hadn't changed."

"Oh sweetie, why did you feel so alone? Things weren't that different were they? You came home a lot, Stars Hollow is usually the one thing in this whole crazy world that stays the same," Lorelai replied.

"I don't know," Rory said. "I didn't feel so alone until everyone starting pointing out that I was alone. And then Jess came back and things with him were always so confusing. Things with Dean were always so easy. It felt good to be wanted."

"Oh Rory, you are your mother's daughter," Lorelai shook her head. "I know it feels great to be wanted and needed, believe me, but you understand how wrong it was right? You can understand why I was so upset?"

"Yes, and I'm so sorry," Rory responded. After a minute of sitting in silence Rory said, "Mom, do you think I'm incapable to having a normal relationship?"

"Oh honey, you're young and relationships are hard. Hell, I'm not even sure I know what a normal relationship is," Lorelai replied. "What makes you ask something like that?"

"I don't know," Rory evaded thinking about Dean's harsh words. "I was just thinking about things."

"And?" Lorelai prodded.

"And I just wondered why I am the way I am."

"I still don't get it. I think I need more information here," Lorelai pressed.

"I just, I don't know, I just thought about things with Dean and Jess and I don't know," Rory stammered. "I have such a hard time with feeling and emotions. Why is it so hard for me?"

"You're a true Gilmore," Lorelai said half-kidding, half-serious. "The Gilmores aren't exactly the poster children for group hugs and feelings."

Lorelai looked at her daughter and saw how much pain she was in. She felt awful, most especially because Rory felt like she couldn't express her feelings. She suddenly felt very guilty. Lorelai knew she was emotionally stunted, thanks in part to Richard and Emily, but she never wanted Rory to feel so insecure. Lorelai had tried to make it a point to tell Rory how much she loved her and show her what true emotion really was growing up. Thinking back on it she wondered if Rory had learned through example. The old proverbial 'do as I say, not as I do' thing was really coming back to bite her in the ass. Rory's examples of loving adult relationships included Max and Jason, who Lorelai hadn't really loved, Christopher, who she loved, but couldn't be with and a myriad of other men she never let get close enough for Rory to know about. Lorelai was engaged to Max and it was mostly because she was afraid to be alone and Max was comfortable and safe. For all intents and purposes Max was Lorelai's Dean, without the wedding ring anyway. "No wonder Rory is so messed up," Lorelai thought to herself.

"Rory, I know I haven't exactly set the best examples of relationship for you, but I swear to you that there is nothing wrong with you," Lorelai said looking Rory in the eyes. "I love you more than anything, okay? You need to know that. I know that saying I love you is scary for you. It's scary for me too, but we need to get over that okay? We need to stop being so afraid of opening up our emotions. Because if we don't we're going to miss out on so much. And I don't want that for either one of us."

Rory looked at her mother and she suddenly felt very guilty again. She knew that Lorelai must feel responsible for her inability to love.

"I love you too Mom," Rory said hugging Lorelai again. "I want us to be happy too. I'm sorry for what I said about Luke earlier too," she added.

"Sorry about Luke?" Lorelai questioned.

"Yeah, I don't think I was very supportive earlier when you said you thought you were dating," Rory said. "I want you to be happy and if Luke makes you happy then I want that for you. For both of you."

"Thanks sweetie," Lorelai said. "You were right though. I get freaked out with relationships, but with Luke, I don't know, it feels different. I swear I wouldn't hurt Luke for anything in the world, mostly because he makes the best coffee in Connecticut, possibly the world, and I couldn't deprive you of that," Lorelai tried to joke.

"Thanks," Rory giggled lightly. "Mom, I wanted to tell you something else."

Rory looked serious and Lorelai braced herself for something bad. She didn't know what could be worse than Rory sleeping with Dean but she didn't want to experience the feeling she had the night before.

"Okay," Lorelai said.

"I called Grandma," Rory said. Lorelai looked at Rory blankly. "I called Grandma and I asked her if she still wanted to go to Europe this summer. We're leaving tomorrow."

"You're going to Europe with Grandma? Wow, okay, I wasn't expecting that," Lorelai said. She was upset that Rory was leaving, but part of her was relieved. This way Rory wouldn't have to deal with seeing Dean all over town. But it also made her nervous. Rory and Dean's escapade really fractured the trust that Lorelai had in her daughter. She wasn't sure if she wanted her cavorting all over Europe. Although with Emily with her Lorelai was pretty sure that Rory wouldn't be in any danger of picking up guys at the local discotheque.

"I'm sorry, I know I should have asked first," Rory explained. "I just can't be here right now. I really need to think about things and Grandma offered last week at dinner so I thought it was a good idea."

"Okay," Lorelai said. Part of her agreed with Rory. She wasn't thrilled that her daughter would be a continent away from her, but she was happy that at least she'd also be a continent away from Dean.

"It's only three weeks and I'll be back before you know it," Rory tried to reason. "I just really don't want to be here."

"Rory, it's okay, I understand," Lorelai said. "It might be better this way for you and Dean and everyone."

"Thanks," Rory said standing up and smoothing out her jeans. "I'm gonna go get packed. Grandma said she'd be here at nine."

"Okay," Lorelai said. "Call me if you need help." Lorelai sat on the couch and took in her conversation with Rory. She felt better than she had earlier, but she still felt unsettled. Rory was right, she did have problems with emotions and Lorelai had never wanted that for her daughter.

Now Lorelai would have three weeks of alone time, which might good for the both of them. Lorelai still felt betrayed and disappointed with Rory. Maybe time and space would help that. She hoped that her daughter would find what she was looking for in Europe. She also hoped that that something was not a beatnik Frenchman named Jacques with a beret, cigarette and goatee. Mostly Lorelai figured Rory needed to find herself. She wasn't sure Emily would be much help to her, but she hoped it would all work out for the best. As for Lorelai, she meant what she told Rory. She was going to try to be more open to her feelings and lately those feelings all revolved Mr. Luke Danes.

TBC