Rae: Yes I took a very long time to update. But this is a good chapter, not really a happy one, but good.I hope you all are still interested.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I need to answer some questions I received.

DreamingOne-Yes there does seem to be something going on with Sue and Jet, doesn't there?

CarlaFox-Val is a baby dragon, not human.

Okay, if there is anything else that I failed to make clear, please let me know. And remember to review! (I love those ego boosters ^^) Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Filia was sitting on a blue and white checked blanket, sunlight filtering through the trees, a breeze gently blowing, the autumn air unusually warm. Across from her sat Jet, one of the most handsome and nice men she'd ever met. They had eaten a wonderful lunch and were now eating some fresh picked fruit for dessert. Jet was complementing her and being very flattering, but Filia didn't really hear a word of it, all she could think about was Xelloss.

"He had been his regular self yesterday, well maybe a little more polite. He'd helped her fix dinner and been great with Val. And though the thought haunted her-yesterday had been the kind of image that she'd always had in her head of a nice family. Fixing and eating dinner together, making little jokes and conversations, playing with little Val. All you had to do was ignore the fact that the "husband" was an evil mazoku and could never love anyone and probably just wanted something. Filia sighed out loud without meaning to.

"Are you all right?" Jet asked, a concerned expression on his face.

"Yes," Filia blushed a little, she felt bad at her neglectful behavior. "I'm sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind lately."

"That's all right," Jet smiled. "Let me walk you home?"

"Of course," Filia returned the smile.

As they neared Filia's home, Jet cleared his throat,"Um, Filia, may I ask you something?"

"Sure, Jet," Filia said, wondering what it could be.

"Do you like me?"

"Oh," Filia was a little thrown. "Yes, I like you. Of course. What a silly question."

"I know. It's just...I like you...a lot and...I wanted to know if you felt the same way? I mean, you're really special to me. I've never really felt like this before. You know?"

"Um," Filia hesitated. Did she feel the same way? What about Xelloss. Wait, what about Xelloss? He's just....well, Xelloss. But she didn't think she could tell Jet what he really wanted her to. "I like you a lot, too, Jet."

"I'm glad," Jet said, but looked a little disappointed. "You've seemed kind of distant today."

"I know," Filia sighed as they reached her door step. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Maybe this will bring you back to earth," Jet leaned in and kissed her. It was a sweet kiss and a nice one, he was actually a pretty good kisser. Filia returned his kiss. The only thing was, it had none of the passion that her kiss with Xelloss had possessed. Jet pulled away after a moment. They both blushing a little. "Well, I'll see you on Saturday."

"What's Saturday?" Filia asked.

"Your birthday, of course," Jet laughed a little. "Sue and the rest of the gals are planning something."

"Yeah I know, they said they'd tell me more tomorrow. We're having another girls' night out."

"Can I ask you one more question?" Jet requested.

"Sure."

"Who gave you all those sunflowers?" Jet asked as he looked into her shop window.

Filia blushed and looked down to hide it. She suddenly felt slightly guilty, though she didn't know why. She hadn't done anything. She cleared her throat, "Oh, just an old friend trying to cheer me up."

"Ah, I see. Just curious. Have fun with 'the girls', see you soon, birthday girl!" And with a cute smile he departed.

Filia sat down on her couch with a cup of tea. That kiss had messed her up even more. She just couldn't get Xelloss out of her head. He was intoxicating, she just couldn't give him up. But on the other hand he was like a poison, she knew he couldn't be good for her. (Rae-AH! stupid britney spears song. keeps playing in head! if you don't know what I'm talking about-be glad)

The next night she was back at the Blue Dragon with her friends. They noticed she was seeming a little out of it, too.

"What's the matter with you, Fi, tomorrow's your birthday?" Alisha asked you.

"Oh, I dunno," Filia lied. "Maybe it's just the birthday blues."

"Boy trouble?" Ardelia asked, she could always seem to tell what was the matter with her friends.

"No," Filia lied again looking down.

"Oh, yes it is," Ardelia smiled. "I can tell. Now, c'mon. You can tell us."

"It's not Jet is it?" Sue asked, seeming a little too anxious to her friends. But then again, maybe she just felt responsible.

"No, it's not Jet," Filia said. This was only a half-lie. "He's been great, really."

"It's that Xelloss guy, huh?" Grace hit the nail on the head.

"Has he been harassing you?" Sue asked angrily.

"No," Filia said quickly. "At least no more than usual."

"I saw you went to the party with him," Grace grinned.

"Well, yeah. I kind of got suckered into that," Filia smiled.

"You should just tell him to get lost!" Sue huffed.

"Yeah, probably," Filia sighed, though she couldn't stop smiling.

"Or maybe you should keep him around," Ardelia argued. "He seems to make you happy."

"Oh, he does not!" Sue nearly yelled. "He's rude to her! And annoying!"

"Hey, guys," Filia said, quieting them all. "I'm getting really tired. I think I'm going to head home."

"You sure hun?" Grace asked.

"Yeah," Filia yawned.

"Well don't forget about tomorrow. Three o'clock in the park," Sue said. "Jet's got you a terrific present!"

"I won't," Filia smiled and left. But as she reached her door, Grace came running up to her.

"You love him, don't you?" Grace asked.

"What? Love who?" Filia asked, though she knew the answer.

"Xelloss," Grace said.

"I don't love him." Filia said.

"Filia you should see the look you get on your face when you think abut him You look a little angry and annoyed, but so happy."
"I can't love him, Grace," Filia looked tired and sad. "It's really complicated, and I can't explain it. But for one, he could never love me and there's just something that keeps us from ever being together. And it just has to be that way."

"If you say so, Fi," Grace said. But as she walked back toward the tavern she said. "But if I were you, hun, and I found someone that made me that happy I'd find a way around whatever was keeping us apart."

Filia fell asleep thinking about loving a mazoku. She was smiling in her sleep.

* * * * *

Xelloss appeared in the middle of Filia's room. He walked to her bed and lit the candle that she had left there. It provided a dim light, not that Xelloss needed even that to see perfectly. His opened eyes reflected none of the light from the tiny flame, remained those two dull, yet penetrating amethyst shards. The shards turned away from the candle and towards the dragon's window. They gazed at the moon, once again absorbing, but not reflecting any of its pure, pale light.

The mazoku decided he had a few minutes, according to the moon, before he was supposed to wake Filia. He sat down in her chair and gazed at her; his head in his hands and elbows resting on his knees. How he loved to watch her sleep. He had done it often, masking his presence so that he wouldn't wake her. And now was the perfect time to do it. A middle autumn night, just before night became morning, just before midnight. The moon's pale light filtered through the tree outside her window and made it so the dragon kind of...glowed. Her golden hair shined. Xelloss stood and went back to her bed, he brushed a strand away from her face. She turned a little, still asleep. Xelloss decided it was time to wake her up. He nudged her gently. Again the dragon moved a little and uttered a soft moan.

"Fi-lia," Xelloss called softly in a sing-song voice. "Wake uh-up."

"Xelloss..." the dragon mumbled, not quite yet awake. She opened her pale blue eyes, sat up and looked around, her gaze finally landing on Xelloss, sitting at the end of her bed. He couldn't help but smile, he loved those eyes, unlike his they reflected all the light in the room, and right now, they had a confused and sleepy glaze. She looked beautiful.

"Huh? Um..."Filia blinked a few times, trying to shake off sleep. "Xel-Xelloss? What's going on?"

"Don't you know?" Xelloss replied and smiled mysteriously.

"Uh..." Filia was not quite awake enough for this.

"Happy Birthday, silly dragon," Xelloss chuckled.

"My birthday's not until tomorrow, though," Filia said.

"It is tomorrow," Xelloss pointed out. "It's just past midnight.

"Barely," Filia argued. "You woke me up in the middle of the night just to say 'Happy Birthday'?"

"No, of course not," Xelloss grinned. "I come bearing gifts! Close your eyes."

Filia looked at his suspiciously, and then complied, too tired to argue. It was dark behind her eyelids, then suddenly there was a dim light and the smell of another candle.

"Okay, open 'em," Xelloss said. Filia did and smiled. Xelloss was holding out a cupcake with a candle stuck in it. "Go on, blow it out, make a wish, all that nonsense."

Filia giggled and blew the candle out. And in her heart of hearts, she wished the impossible; that she could do what Grace had said and find away to be with the mazoku she couldn't get to leave.

"Did you make just one?" Filia asked, taking the cupcake.

"No, a whole batch," Xelloss replied, materializing another out of nowhere.

"You baked them yourself?" Filia smiled.

"Yep. At first, I was going to make you a cake, but I didn't want to try and come up with 457 candles, so I figured I could get away with just one on a cupcake," Xelloss laughed and Filia found herself laughing, too. When they'd finished eating their cupcakes, Xelloss grabbed Filia's hand and pulled her out of bed.

"Now you have to come with me," Xelloss said.

"Where? It's the middle of the night and I'm still in my nightgown!" Filia protested.

"No one's going to see you, don't worry," Xelloss reassured her. Filia opened her mouth to say something else, but was stunned into silence. Xelloss had teleported them to a beautiful moon-lit beach. Filia looked around, amazed. The sand beneath their feet was pure white and the sea a dark blue, almost black in the darkness. The sky seemed to melt into it, as the water reflected the light from the full moon. As Filia looked up she could see a million stars, gazing back down at her; there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The night here was warm and that told her that she was far from home. All was forgotten as the wind blew gently and Xelloss drew her attention back to him.

"Like it?" he asked eyes open, searching for her reaction in the features of her face.

"Yes, it's beautiful!" Filia gushed. "But where are we?"

"An island near Wolfpack," Xelloss answered, which didn't really tell her anything at all. "This is where I was going to take you on our date. The reason I told you not to wear a long dress is that I figured you would get it wet....and then blame it on me, of course."

"Oh," Filia said, comprehension dawning. She noticed Xelloss wasn't wearing his usual clothes, either. Instead he was dressed in a pair of black pants that went down to his knees and an untucked, button up yellow shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"There's something I want to show you," Xelloss said softly. Then he looked up at the moon, "but we've got a while. Want to walk?"

"Oh, yes," Filia smiled. She let go of his hands and walked down to the water. Xelloss hadn't really noticed that he'd kept her hands in his until they were gone. He wondered for a moment why he wanted to still be holding them, and then walked down to join Filia.

They walked in silence for a while, at the waters edge. The whit foam from the gentle waves lapping at their feet. The wind was blowing, it was pleasant, but Filia was always pushing her hair back. Xelloss walked behind the dragon, pulled her hair away from her face, and tied it in a loose que with a black ribbon. She smiled and watched as he tied his own hair back.

"You look cute,"Filia giggled.

"Oh, yeah. That's what I was going for-cute,"Xelloss said sarcastically as he kicked the water, sprinkling Filia with drops of the deep blue water.

"Ah!" She called, kicking water back at him. They continued to splash each other, eventually getting into an all out water-fight. Filia, running backwards, tripped and fell, getting herself complete soaked. Xelloss laughed at her.

"Very graceful, Fi-chan!"

"The dragon sat up in the water and wrung her hair out, "Are you going to help me up or just stand there and laugh?" Filia extended a demanding hand. But as Xelloss grasped her hand, she pulled him into the water next to her. They played around for a while, splashing and pushing eachother into the water. Their shouts and laughter echoed off the cliffs next to the empty beach. Finally, when they were both worn out, they ended up sitting, panting, in the water. Xelloss was looking at Filia, but trying not to stare. Water dripped from her hair and clothes. Her white nightgown was kind of see-through, Xelloss blushed a little. But her smile was the most alluring to his eyes. She was so innocent, pure. He struggled to pull his eyes away from her, then gazed at the moon.

"We better go," Xelloss said, looking at the dragon once again, "Or we'll miss it."

"Miss what?" Filia asked as Xelloss pulled her out of the water. "What is it that you're showing me?"

"That's a secret," Xelloss chimed.

"Fine," Filia said, then shivered. "Brr. Now I'm cold."

Xelloss handed her a big, fluffy, yellow towel out of nowhere. She smiled and wrapped it around herself. Xelloss dried his hair and the rest of himself off as much as he could with his own towel before making it disappear. After they walked for a few more minutes, Xelloss took Filia's hand and they headed up toward the cliffs. They stopped when they reached several large boulders. Xelloss teleported them ontop of one.

"Xelloss, what-"Filia began to ask again, but was cut short as the moon hit the rock they were standing one. The rock, which had appeared to be the normal gray colour, was suddenly a dazzling and sparkling amethyst. The stone seemed like a mirror, reflecting the moon's light. It was absolutely beautiful. When the effect died the rock became a slightly glowing, deep purple. The two nonhumans sat down.

"Time for your real present," Xelloss said. Filia looked up at him questioningly. What else could he possibly give her? Xelloss reached in his pocked and drew out a thing silver chain with a crescent moon cut from the same type of stone they were on. He held it in the moon's light and it sparkled and glowed. When he held it out to her it remained a translucent violet. She gasped and held the charm in the palm of he hand. It was small, about the size of a silver piece (like a quarter), but it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Whoever had faceted the gem must have spent days working on it; all the tine faces were like mirrors reflecting whatever light touched them.

"Xelloss, it's beautiful! Thankyou," Filia whispered. "Would you help me put it on?"

Xelloss moved behind her. As he latched the chain he whispered in her ear, "It's enchanted. If you ever need me-for anything-all you have to do is hold it in your hand and say my name. I'll hear you and be there the next instant."

Filia turned around and kissed him. At first Xelloss was shocked, but then he returned the kiss. He was so happy, for just an moment, until he sensed Filia's doubt. He pulled away and rested his forehead against the dragon's.

"Filia, I-"

"Don't," Filia said quickly cutting him off. She stood up suddenly and almost lost her footing. Xelloss leaped to his feet and steadied her, putting and arm around her waist. As soon as Filia regained her equilibrium, she pushed Xelloss away. "Xelloss we can't do this."

"Why not?" Xelloss asked trying to catch her eyes, but she was looking at her feet.

"Because it would never work," Filia sighed.

"You don't know that," Xelloss argued. "I..."

"You what, Xelloss? Look I-I care for you. And you've been...really amazing lately. But the truth is you can't care for someone else! You're a mazoku!"

"Then why am I doing this?" Xelloss asked almost pleadingly.

"I-I don't know. I'm sure you have some motive Xelloss, you always do. I've seen your cruelty! When you fought Valgaav. You tortured him and you would have killed him if-"

"If I hadn't stopped to save you!" Xelloss shouted. "You're so naive! Wrapped up in all the lies your race has told you. You can't even see when someone cares about you!"

"I don't know what you want, Xelloss-but I know it's something," Filia was crying now. "You can't love, Xelloss, you're a mazoku. You can't be happy. You-"

"Filia, can't you see we're more than that?!" Xelloss was still shouting, but his voice was pleading with her. "We are more than mazoku and ryuzoku! Don't generalize! I know that you are more than that. I saw it when you stood against your temple's chief elder. When you're with Val. When you smile, when you cry. Right now...I see it. I see a person, a soul. Someone that maybe I could love. Can't you...can't you look past mazoku? Can't you see me?"

"I do see you, Xelloss Juu Jinkan, Dragon Slayer," Filia's voice was soft, but her words and tone cut through the mazoku. "You are a mazoku-that's all you are. And that's all I'll ever be able to see you as. If you want to come around and annoy me-that's fine, whatever. Get your kicks. But anything more is impossible, you must know that."

Xelloss grabbed her hand once more and suddenly they were back in the dragon's bedroom. The familiar sent of tea was there. Xelloss's eyes stung. Why was he allowing her to hurt him. This was ridiculous. He blinked as he let go off her hand. Good lords, he was NOT going to cry. He took a deep breath and looked Filia in the eyes. "You think being in love is being happy? Look at yourself. You're so naive..." he repeated and then vanished just as a tear rolled down his face.

* * * * *

Xelloss appeared in his room. He picked the half-empty wine glass up from his bedside table, studied the red liquid for a moment then dashed the cup against the opposite wall. He howled as loud as he could, kicked over the night stand, knocked everything off his desk and threw the chair, tore the pillows off his bed and threw them blindly, smashed his mirror with his fist. Hand bleeding, he fell to his knees; looking at the floor, he was shocked by the tears that stained the wood.

He was so angry. Who cared if Xellas kills the stupid dragon. She deserves it! Xelloss felt utterly hopeless; there was no way he would ever get Filia to love him. Why had he ever tried? Because he couldn't stand the thought of loosing her. Not then and not now. But what could he do? As his last resort came to mind, evil as it was-but anything to save her life, Xellas walked into his room.

As she looked at him on the floor, she immediately became concerned. At first she was sure that this would prove to be entertaining, but now...she'd never seen him...cry before.

"Xelloss, love," she said softly.

"Yes, mistress?" Xelloss said without looking up. As if that would keep her from knowing he had been crying. His voice was horse and he sort of sniffled after saying it. The anger she could feel from him, made Xellas feel a little better thought.

"Redecorating, are we?" she said in a mocking voice.

"Something like that," Xelloss said softly. "Mistress?"

"Yes, my pet?"

Xelloss stood and looked at the beastmaster, "I can't...she will never love me."

"Hm," Xellas really couldn't think of anything to say for fear that she might make him upset.

"But I still-" Xelloss stopped himself from saying that he still wished her to live. He had made fool of himself enough, "I still wish to please you mistress. May I ask you something?"

"Of course," Xellas said, wondering what plan he could have come up with.

"Even if I can't get her to love me...I could still...I could trick her. If I get you the child you want...then..."

"Then I will not kill the dragon," Xellas said. "But you know, Xelloss, if you do this, she will hate you."

"As she should, mistress," Xelloss replied. "That is how things are supposed be, is it not?"

"It is, Xelloss," Xellas agreed. She made to leave, but as she reached the door she paused. "But be careful, love."

Xelloss sat down on his bed, angry. Angry at Filia for what she'd said. Angry at Xellas for this mission. But mostly, angry at himself. He couldn't stand that he'd let himself be dragged so far into this, that he cared for a golden dragon, that he let her get to him. Angry at what he was going to do. Sad that it was the only way to save her life. Xellas was right she would hate him, forever. He would loose Filia no matter what, but at least she would be alive. He could still watch her, but this thought comforted him little.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, Filia sat on her own bed. She'd cried every last tear she had and now she had to think about it. Filia realized she was clutching the necklace Xelloss had given her and let go. She took it off and held it be its chain. The moon hit it and it sparkled. She moved it out of the light and it returned to its dull, yet beautiful amethyst colour, hiding its beautiful secret. The stone was just like Xelloss's eyes when it wasn't in the moonlight. The thought made her want to cry again. She set the charm in her lap. How had it gone from being her best birthday to her worst?

Ultimately, she told herself, she had done the right thing. Xelloss and her...it could never be. No matter how much she wanted it, she was a ryuzoku and he was a mazoku. The gap between was too large. Besides, what about Jet? How could she be so mean to him? She felt as if she'd been having an affair. And she guessed she sort f was. Jet was so wonderful to her. But it was over now. Done. She could still have a great birthday with her friends and with Jet. But then why did she feel so awful? She looked again at the necklace. Slowly she put it back around her neck. As she lied down, one more question came to trouble her before sleep took her; it was something she'd forgotten in all her misery: Did I really see that tear on Xelloss's face?

* * * * *

At three o'clock Filia was at the park with her friends. By three fifteen she was feeling really good. They were talking and laughing and eating lots of wonderful food that all her friends had made. The sun was shining, giving one of it's last warm days and there was a gently breeze. After they ate food and cake and sang the birthday song, they moved on to presents. Alisha had sewn her a beautiful yellow and blue quilt, Ardelia gave her some sunflower seeds, soil, and other things she would need to plant them, Grace gave her a friendship ring made of pretty purple jade, and Sue had brought her some exotic tea leaves from her travels. Last, she opened Jet's present; it was a beautiful and most definitely expensive porcelain tea set with a pink rose pattern on it. She gushed thanks and hugged him tightly.

After the party was over and Filia and her friends had helped her get her presents home, her and Jet were sitting on the couch. Absentmindedly, Filia was playing with her necklace. When she reached down to pick up her cup of tea, Jet was examining it.

"That's pretty," Jet said, gesturing to the charm. "Is it new? I haven't seen you wear it before."

"Um, yeah, it is new," Filia said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Birthday present?"

"Yes."

"From who? When did they give it to you?"

"You sure are a curious one today, Jet," Filia said avoiding actually answering the question.

"You didn't answer me," Jet said, a bit roughly.

"Um, just an old friend-"

"The same 'old friend' that gave you all those flowers?" Jet almost snapped.

"Um," Filia was startled by his reaction. "Yes. The same."

"The same 'old friend' that ate dinner here the other night?"

"Yes. Xelloss," Filia confessed.

"Sue told me about him," Jet reviled. For a minute Filia was puzzled then she remembered that Sue had stopped by the day that Xelloss had given her the flowers. She had run off in a hurry, to tell Jet?

"When did he give you the necklace?" Jet demanded.

"L-last night," Filia began. "Jet, I-"

"I thought you went out with your friends."

"I did. This was after," Filia said and then realized that she should have lied.

"He came to your house that late?"

"Well, yeah. He does that sometimes-to bug me."

"Why don't you tell him to get lost? I thought you didn't like him."

"I don't!" Filia said too loud and too quickly.

"Then why are you wearing that necklace?" Jet asked harshly.

"I-I don't know!" Filia started crying she couldn't help it. "We're just-I don't know."

"What else did you do with him?" Jet's tone was accusing.

"Nothing! Jet why-"

"You didn't go anywhere with him or kiss him or something?"

Filia was too upset to notice how accurate Jet's guesses were. She continued to cry, "I'm sorry, Jet. I didn't mean to hurt you or anything. I really like you and-"

Suddenly Jet had his arm around her, "No. I'm sorry. Please, Filia, stop crying. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you."

"But-"

"I'm mad at him. Sue said he's always bugging you and stuff. And I don't like him giving you all the flowers and things. I guess I'm just jealous. I'm sorry."

Filia stopped crying, "It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I've been weird lately. I think I need some sleep."

"Okay," Jet said. "I'll see you soon. Okay?"

"Yeah, that'll be great."

Jet walked to the door, "I really like you a lot, Fi," He said and left.

Filia wished he wouldn't call her 'Fi'. That was Xelloss's name for her-or that was what Xelloss called her. Her head hurt. She went to go play with Val. He always made her feel better.

As she went to bed that night, the necklace rested against her skin, under her tanktop. She decided that was a good place for it; out of sight, not quite out of mind.

Rae: Oh, no. Will Xelloss really go through with his plan? Is Jet a jerk? Will Filia be able to follow her heart? The answers to most of these questions next time: He loves me. I love him not. And I promise not to take so long to update.