Here's the next chappy, hope you like, I didn't like this one very much,
but oh well.
Techno music played as everyone at Leon's pad was dancing. Including just about every Resident Evil character (even the dead ones). Rebecca Chambers, who was in her leather RE0 alternate outfit, was doing the nasty dances with Billy. Sherry was dancing in a cage wearing a string bikini. Jill, Richard, Ark, and Barry where playing poker. Leon was checking his Email on his laptop. And everyone else was dancing.
"Hmmm, I've got 321 messages. Oh well." Leon said. He started clicking the delete button.
Win $100 in one day!!!: Delete Get a free Xbox for $300: Delete You've won $100,000!!!!: Delete [Fanfiction.Net] Review Alert: Delete Are you lonely Leon?: Delete Delete: Delete HELP ME LEON!!! IT'S CLAIRE AND I'M IN DEEP...: Dele-whoa, wait a sec!
Leon clicked on that massage and read the Email. "Hey everyone, Claire's in trouble!"
"Claire!?" Sherry asked.
"CLAIRE REDFIELD!!!???" Rebecca asked with a grin as little hearts appeared in her eyes. Everyone sweatdropped. "What? She's hot!" Everyone took a step away from her.
"Riiiiight." Leon said. "Anyway, it says she needs help. She's given me the location of Chris!" Leon turned around. "YO CHRIS! GET OVER HERE!!!"
Chris Redfield ran up to Leon. "Whazzzzzzaaaaaaaap!?"
"Claire's in trouble."
Chris got a dazed look on his face. "Please forgive me Claire..."
"Here he goes again..." Jill said as she rolled his eyes.
"Please forgive me Claire..." he mumbled over and over again. "Please forgive me Claire...please forgive me Claire......please forgive me Claire..."
"And Chris is being kept under surveillance." Leon said.
"WHAT!?" Chris asked. He turned around to see a giant security camera right behind him. "Hey!" Chris hit the camera with the butt of a shotgun and it exploded. Everyone sweatdropped again.
"Someone's gotta save Claire!!!" Rebecca cried. "SOMEONE SAVE HER!!!! SOME...ONE....SAVE...HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rebecca fell to the floor crying, everyone took a step away from her.
"It's always the quiet ones..." Billy said.
"Chris.....um.....maybe....you.....um.....should.....go save her?" Barry asked.
"But I don't waaaaaannnaaaaaaaa!!!" Chris cried.
"Chris get off your sorry ass and save her before I beat the shit outta you!!!" Jill yelled. Chris sweatdropped.
"Yes ma'am! Don't hurt me!"
"No! Let ME save her!" Rebecca cried. "MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"NO!!!!" everyone yelled.
"Now go Chris!" Jill yelled as she pointed out the door.
"Okay. Don't worry Claire! I'll save you!!! I'LL SAVE YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Chris screamed as he ran out the door. Everyone sighed.
"He ain't coming back is he?" Sherry asked.
"Probably not." Said Carlos.
"Hey everyone, CLAIRE'S ON TV!!!" Rebecca yelled as she ran up and sat down in front of the big screen TV. Everyone looked to see Claire in the computer room in the umbrella base...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Grr, Leon better of gotten my mail!" Claire said gritting her teeth. She walked out of the room, after pulling the switch on the control thingy Steve was touching. When she got halfway down the hallway, she stopped. "Ya know, screw this key finding! I'm hopping the gate!" she ran back to the front yard where the met Steve and looked at the gate. She jumped up, grabbed onto the top of it, and pulled herself over the door. She fell off the other side and hit the floor. "Oof!"
"Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
"WHAT THE HELL!!??" Claire asked as she got up and turned around to see a zombie. "Oh. It's just a flesh eating virus-carrying zombie. I thought it was something important or scary." Claire said nonchalantly.
"Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!!" the zombie groaned as it walked towards her slowly.
"O_o that groan creeps me out."
"It's suppoooose tooooooooooooooo!!" the zombie moaned.
"Oh." Claire said, she grinned. "You can't move fast enough! Haha!" Claire walked up to the zombie and kicked him where it hurts. The zombie fell over with its dead eyes watering as the biker walked forward. There were tire marks on the floor, leading to the middle of a bridge. There was a car crashed at the side of the bridge, just barely falling over the edge. "I think there was a crash..." Claire said as she looked at the car.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"DUH!!!" everyone at the party yelled.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Claire ran around the outer catwalk thingy of the bridge and got to the other side. She saw two green herbs and handgun bullets on the other side, and picked them up, immediately reloading her gun and mixing the herbs. The bigass door leading to god only knows where was completely blocked off by boulders, there was a fire blocking off a stairway. Claire pushed a metal crate over the fire and stepped on top of it.
"Oh! Hot! Hot!" Claire yelled as the hopped on the crate. "Too hot! Ah!!" Claire jumped off the other side of the crate and held her feet. "Ah, that's a hot crate.....ewww I have guts and stuff allover my shoes! Ew ew ew!!!" Claire whipped her hand on the dirt, making the gore STICK to her hand. "_ Icky! I hate this place!" Claire got up and walked up the stairs incredibly slowly, until she got to some top...area place.
A zombie with a straw hat and some straw in his mouth walked up to her.
"Hello Mr. Zombie." Claire said. "Do you know where there are any creepy mansions?"
"Mmhmm, I think ya mean that palace over there." The zombie said as it pointed in one direction.
"How do I get there?"
"Well ya see ya first...mmm...hey Joe!" the zombie yelled as it looked at a zombie far away. "Yeah! How do we get to that there palace!? Uh huh? All right!" the zombie turned back to her. "Okay to take this here bridge across a couple of feet until you see that there gate. If you see it that means you're going the right way. Then you take a courtyard door into a courtyard. You should know the rest from there."
"Thanks Mr. Zombie." Claire said as she got on a motorbike and drove 10 feet to the other side of the bridge. She ran up the stairs and opened the courtyard door into the...dun dun dun...courtyard!!!
"Bark! Bark!"
Claire turned to see 3 zombie dogs running towards her. "AHHHHH!!!! EVIL DOG DEMONS OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the screamed as a dog ran up to her. Claire grabbed a stick. "Here boy, see the stick? Fetch!!!" Claire threw the stick over the edge of the courtyard cliff and the dogs jumped off to their doom. "Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!" Claire laughed a creepy evil laugh. She saw something shiny on the floor and picked it up. "Navy Proof. Take it? Yes-No? Yes." Claire put it in her incredibly large pocket and walked through the big door with the words 'Big Door' above it.
Annoying door opening sequence...
Claire stepped into the room and the camera zoomed on the picture at the top of the stairs. "Hey, this is what it did in RE2 also, when I walked into the police station in my A scenario" Claire said. She's a brilliant girl isn't she? Anyway, she picked up the box of handgun bullets and walked up to the second floor. Then she entered the save room.
Pretty decent save room music plays...
Claire walked up to the desk thingy and picked up the Secretaries Memo....
'Secretary's Memo
Four friggin years have passed since I served Sir Alfred, who insists I call him Betty.
He doesn't trust anyone! And he's friggin annoying! Even though I'm his attendant, he still doesn't let me enter his private house. What's his problem anyway? He always complains that the room isn't pink enough, or that I don't look as well dressed as I should, or something like that. And he never lets me on his private house on haunted hill...I mean private house on Silent Hill.....I mean....no...nevermind, I just confused myself.
Occasionally I see his twin sister Alexia standing at the window whenever I'm spying on the house with my telescope. It might have been her, whose EXTREME beauty is often talked about. I hear just the presence of her makes everyone orgasm. Or it might be Alfred dressed up as her, or it might be a ghost, or it might be my long lost grandmother
I asked Sir Alfred about Alexia, he got pissed and went on a killing spree. I wont do that again, unless I don't value my life much. It kinda sucks anyway having to be stuck with him.
After all, it is a mystery why he's keeping his 'private' life with Alexia such a secret.
Mike Hawk'
"Hmmm, Alfred seems like a nutcase" Claire said. She walked over to the item box. "YAY!!! FINALLY! I've been looking EVERYWHERE for this stupid thingy! Now I can empty my incredibly large pockets!" Claire said as she pulled a ton of junk out of her pickets, Navy Proof, M-100P's, Condoms, Lint, Lube, Wrench, Home Entertainment System with Surround Sound (took up only 1 item space). Claire then picked up an ink ribbon and looked at the typewriter. "Better save my game....or whatever."
Claire put some paper in the typewriter and started typing with a nice beat.
ClickclickclickclickclickclickCLICK-CLINGclickclickCLICK- CLINKclickclickclickclickclickclickclickCHING-CHINK!
An audience clapped at Claire's beautiful typing skills. She bowed and then put the ink ribbon back in the item box. "Now time to continue my adventure!"
Claire walked up to the door with two Gold Luger shaped hole thingys. Having been in RE2 and played the other RE games, she knew that she required some really shiny gold Lugers to open the door.
"Ugh, stupid stupidhead door!" Claire said as she turned around. She spotted something underneath a cabinet. "Ooooh! Shiny! I want it!" Claire then, using way more strength then she needed to push a little cabinet, pushed the cabinet over, revealing an extremely shiny ID card.
Claire picked it up and read the ID number 'NQP566X9W2CXYZIP771L0711W82J292MAL91HF9A71KJHC90A28J1M9D01'
"O_o Holy SHIT. That's a long ID number!" Claire said as she stuck it in her back pocket and walked back out of the room and to the front desk. "Ugh, I suck at typing..." Claire started hunt and peck typing in the extremely long ID code...
30 Minutes later...
Claire finally finished the code and the door in the left corner of the main hall unlocked. She walked through that door and into a zombie filled hallway. Claire swung the knife once and all the zombies' heads exploded. She grinned, picked up the first red herb in the game, and then walked through the only unlocked door in the hall. She was now in some museum like room, antique guns and stuff lined the walls. Of course, Claire just CANT grab the guns off the wall can she? She saw a diamond thingy of a queen ant and pressed the button on it.
FMV scene, the graphics suddenly get a bazillion times better...
"Kewl!" Claire said as she looked at her less polygonal hands. The room got dark and an invisible projector started playing a video on the wall. Claire stared at the video...
A creepy child like tune plays as it shows two blonde twins, a boy and a girl, sitting in front of a window, playing with Barbie dolls. The boy pulls out a dollhouse and starts talking to himself as the girl picks her nose. The boy pulled out a dragonfly and started slowly plucking off the poor things wings. The girl watched with a warm smile as the boy walked over to a table and placed the wingless dragonfly in an ant colony, letting it get eaten alive by bazillions of ants. The girl walked up to him and looks at the camera with a really creepy smile. The boy and girl slowly turn to each other, smiling, their faces an inch apart. Until right before the camera faded, the boy grabbed onto the girl and they started making out. The video ended...
End FMV scene, everything has bad graphics again...
"O_O That's a bit.....disturbing...." Claire said as she stared blankly at the wall. A case of junk moved over, revealing yet another stupid secret passage. Claire walked into the new room and picked up the steering wheel thingy. "What the hell is this doing here? Oh well. Steering Wheel. Take it? Yes-No? Yes." Claire somehow shoved the Steering wheel down her pocket and managed to make it look like her pockets where still empty, then walked down more into the secret room to see the Gold Lugers mounted on the wall. "Oooo, Lugers..."
Claire pulled them off the wall and the cabinet closed off the exit! The heat turned on to really high, making Claire all hot and sweaty. She whipped her brow and started slowly unbuttoning her vest; she took off her vest and got in a sexy pose. She slowly slipped off her fingerless gloves and.....whoa...what am I doing? O_o Uhhh...Claire sweatdropped and placed the Lugers back where they belong, making the heat turn off and the cabinet move back out of the way.
"Fine, keep your stupid Lugers!" she said as she put her gloves and vest back on. "Well, I guess time for me to try to open the front door for no reason." Claire ran out of the room and kept on running like a robot until she got to the front door. She put her hand on the handle until she heard an extremely high male voice.....
"AAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
Claire sweatdropped and turned around. "Steve?"
The action music played as Claire turned around and ran back to the room she just left. She couldn't leave the place now because stupid letters would tell her to save Steve if she tried to leave the palace. Claire ran down the hall and into the museum room. There where a bunch of monitors and buttons where the wall used to be, and Claire saw Steve beating on the wall on the other side of the trap, holding the gold Lugers in his hand.
"I WANT MY MOMMMMMMYYYY!!!!!" Steve screamed. "AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"O_o Steve you idiot, PUT THE LUGERS BACK IN!"
"But I don't waaaaannaaaaa!" Steve cried. "Open the door! Open the door!"
Claire groaned. "Ugh, moron, just like Leon." Claire looked at the buttons to see a picture of a magnum, a boat, a submarine, an airplane, a Chinese male stripper, and a handgun. Underneath the buttons it said 'FINE THE ONES THAT ARE THE SAME STUPID!!!!'. Claire sweatdropped. "Wow, this is a HARD puzzle isn't it?" she sighed and pressed the submarine and the Chinese male stripper. The alarms turned off and the cabinet moved out of the way, Steve fell out and landed flat on his face.
"Phew! Thanks Claire, you saved me." Steve said as he shook his head and got up.
"You're an idiot." Claire said.
"Well I'm taller, so HA!" Steve said as he walked up to her. "I'm 17 and you're 19 and I'm still taller! Peewee!" Steve patter Claire on the head, she slapped him. "Owie! You hurt meee!" he whined.
"Only by two inches." Claire said.
Steve looked at the guns and talked with continuously bad voice acting. "Thanks, I got these, thanks to...you."
Claire looked at the gold Lugers in his hands and the piano note played. "Ooo! Those Lugers! Give them to me."
"What? No! I found them and I'm keeping them," Steve said. "Mine! Mine mine mine!
"GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!!" Claire yelled, making the earth shake. Steve sweatdropped.
"Well, how about we make a deal." Steve pointed one Luger at Claire. "I'll trade you for something fully automatic."
Claire got in a thinking pose. "Hmmmmmmmm.....how about I tear your throat out?"
"O_O N-no thanks" Steve said nervously. "Well see ya!" Steve turned and ran as fast as he could out the door.
"Sigh," Claire said. "Men. They have two heads and are still stupid as hell." Claire walked out of the room and down the hallway; she opened the door into the main hall and walked in.
A laser slowly went up Claire's leg. She saw the laser as it went up to between her eyes. She went cross-eyes and sweatdropped.
BANG!
Even though the laser was between her eyes, the bullet landed over six feet away. Claire finally realized that someone was trying to snipe her and ran behind a pillar. She heard a really gay sounding male voice.
"Redfield! How dare you interfere with my operation! It cost a lot of money to get a sex....I mean nevermind. How dare you!"
Claire raised her eyebrow. "Uhhh...what?"
"You know very well what I'm talking about!" Claire turned around the corner and saw a creepy looking blonde man dressed up like a toy soldier, holding a sniper rifle in his hand.
"Who the hell are you!?"
He put his hand to his chest. "I am Alfred Ashford! Commander of this base!"
Claire laughed. "Ha! You must be one of Umbrella's lowest rank officers to control a backwater base like this one! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Alfred smashed his hand on the railing of the stairs, then held it and shook it. "Ouch...How DARE you!" he rubbed his hand and walked across the second floor. "The Ashford family is one of the highest ranks of Umbrella inc.," he said as he got in a pose and got a proud look on his face. He turned back to Claire, who was creeping halfway into the room, trying to get out the door. Claire looked up, saw him, and ran back to behind the pillar. "And now look what you've done! You've deliberately let yourself be captured so your friends can attack my beautiful base!"
"Attacked!?" Claire asked.
"Attacked!" Alfred looked around the place. "NOW look what happened, my base has been destroyed! In the attack someone chucked a grenade into the wrong room, spilling the T-Virus everywhere, creating countless zombies and monsters."
"Oooooooaaaaaahhhhhh! So THAT'S how that happened," Claire said. "Is it just me, or does this happen to ALL of Umbrella's bases?"
"The second one." Alfred said. "Oh Claire Redfield, how dare you insult the Ashford family name!" he aimed his sniper riffle at Claire's head. "Now I shall take my sniper rifle, aim, and miss! Hahahahaha!" Alfred covered his mouth and started giggling like a schoolgirl as he fired the sniper rifle at Claire head. It missed her by at least 7 feet.
"You REALLY gotta work on your aiming." Claire said.
"Fine, play that way!" Alfred said. "You're just a rat in a cage anyway! I'll see you later! Hahahahahahaha!" he started giggling some more as he walked up the stairs.
Claire put her hand to her face. "Ugh, another creepy psycho stupidhead. Just like Irons, and he died two different ways. This is gonna be a loooooooong night." Claire said as she walked out of the palace and back into the courtyard.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I sense a plot," Sherry said with a big grin.
"Wow, you're a genius." Carlos said.
"I'm smarter than YOU," She said.
".....yeah...." Carlos said with an annoyed sigh.
"I'm gonna make some popcorn" Leon said as he walked into the kitchen.
"Don't you think we should send the army or something to go save Claire? I mean, Chris has a hard enough time figuring out how to open the elevator doors." Jill said.
"Nah!" everyone yelled.
"This is gonna be fun to watch! ^__^" Billy said.
"Oh Billy, you're soooo sexy." Rebecca said as she laid her head on his shoulder. Billy grinned. "Almost as sexy as Claire." Billy's eyes widened.
"WHAT!?"
"Nevermind."
"Many horrors await Claire Redfield." Ada said dramatically. "We can only pray that she survives."
"I bet you $20 she dies." Enrico said.
"YOU'RE ON!!!!!" Barry yelled.
Everyone fell over.
End of chapter 3! ^_^; I'll hopefully write the next one soon!
Techno music played as everyone at Leon's pad was dancing. Including just about every Resident Evil character (even the dead ones). Rebecca Chambers, who was in her leather RE0 alternate outfit, was doing the nasty dances with Billy. Sherry was dancing in a cage wearing a string bikini. Jill, Richard, Ark, and Barry where playing poker. Leon was checking his Email on his laptop. And everyone else was dancing.
"Hmmm, I've got 321 messages. Oh well." Leon said. He started clicking the delete button.
Win $100 in one day!!!: Delete Get a free Xbox for $300: Delete You've won $100,000!!!!: Delete [Fanfiction.Net] Review Alert: Delete Are you lonely Leon?: Delete Delete: Delete HELP ME LEON!!! IT'S CLAIRE AND I'M IN DEEP...: Dele-whoa, wait a sec!
Leon clicked on that massage and read the Email. "Hey everyone, Claire's in trouble!"
"Claire!?" Sherry asked.
"CLAIRE REDFIELD!!!???" Rebecca asked with a grin as little hearts appeared in her eyes. Everyone sweatdropped. "What? She's hot!" Everyone took a step away from her.
"Riiiiight." Leon said. "Anyway, it says she needs help. She's given me the location of Chris!" Leon turned around. "YO CHRIS! GET OVER HERE!!!"
Chris Redfield ran up to Leon. "Whazzzzzzaaaaaaaap!?"
"Claire's in trouble."
Chris got a dazed look on his face. "Please forgive me Claire..."
"Here he goes again..." Jill said as she rolled his eyes.
"Please forgive me Claire..." he mumbled over and over again. "Please forgive me Claire...please forgive me Claire......please forgive me Claire..."
"And Chris is being kept under surveillance." Leon said.
"WHAT!?" Chris asked. He turned around to see a giant security camera right behind him. "Hey!" Chris hit the camera with the butt of a shotgun and it exploded. Everyone sweatdropped again.
"Someone's gotta save Claire!!!" Rebecca cried. "SOMEONE SAVE HER!!!! SOME...ONE....SAVE...HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rebecca fell to the floor crying, everyone took a step away from her.
"It's always the quiet ones..." Billy said.
"Chris.....um.....maybe....you.....um.....should.....go save her?" Barry asked.
"But I don't waaaaaannnaaaaaaaa!!!" Chris cried.
"Chris get off your sorry ass and save her before I beat the shit outta you!!!" Jill yelled. Chris sweatdropped.
"Yes ma'am! Don't hurt me!"
"No! Let ME save her!" Rebecca cried. "MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"NO!!!!" everyone yelled.
"Now go Chris!" Jill yelled as she pointed out the door.
"Okay. Don't worry Claire! I'll save you!!! I'LL SAVE YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Chris screamed as he ran out the door. Everyone sighed.
"He ain't coming back is he?" Sherry asked.
"Probably not." Said Carlos.
"Hey everyone, CLAIRE'S ON TV!!!" Rebecca yelled as she ran up and sat down in front of the big screen TV. Everyone looked to see Claire in the computer room in the umbrella base...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Grr, Leon better of gotten my mail!" Claire said gritting her teeth. She walked out of the room, after pulling the switch on the control thingy Steve was touching. When she got halfway down the hallway, she stopped. "Ya know, screw this key finding! I'm hopping the gate!" she ran back to the front yard where the met Steve and looked at the gate. She jumped up, grabbed onto the top of it, and pulled herself over the door. She fell off the other side and hit the floor. "Oof!"
"Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
"WHAT THE HELL!!??" Claire asked as she got up and turned around to see a zombie. "Oh. It's just a flesh eating virus-carrying zombie. I thought it was something important or scary." Claire said nonchalantly.
"Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!!" the zombie groaned as it walked towards her slowly.
"O_o that groan creeps me out."
"It's suppoooose tooooooooooooooo!!" the zombie moaned.
"Oh." Claire said, she grinned. "You can't move fast enough! Haha!" Claire walked up to the zombie and kicked him where it hurts. The zombie fell over with its dead eyes watering as the biker walked forward. There were tire marks on the floor, leading to the middle of a bridge. There was a car crashed at the side of the bridge, just barely falling over the edge. "I think there was a crash..." Claire said as she looked at the car.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"DUH!!!" everyone at the party yelled.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Claire ran around the outer catwalk thingy of the bridge and got to the other side. She saw two green herbs and handgun bullets on the other side, and picked them up, immediately reloading her gun and mixing the herbs. The bigass door leading to god only knows where was completely blocked off by boulders, there was a fire blocking off a stairway. Claire pushed a metal crate over the fire and stepped on top of it.
"Oh! Hot! Hot!" Claire yelled as the hopped on the crate. "Too hot! Ah!!" Claire jumped off the other side of the crate and held her feet. "Ah, that's a hot crate.....ewww I have guts and stuff allover my shoes! Ew ew ew!!!" Claire whipped her hand on the dirt, making the gore STICK to her hand. "_ Icky! I hate this place!" Claire got up and walked up the stairs incredibly slowly, until she got to some top...area place.
A zombie with a straw hat and some straw in his mouth walked up to her.
"Hello Mr. Zombie." Claire said. "Do you know where there are any creepy mansions?"
"Mmhmm, I think ya mean that palace over there." The zombie said as it pointed in one direction.
"How do I get there?"
"Well ya see ya first...mmm...hey Joe!" the zombie yelled as it looked at a zombie far away. "Yeah! How do we get to that there palace!? Uh huh? All right!" the zombie turned back to her. "Okay to take this here bridge across a couple of feet until you see that there gate. If you see it that means you're going the right way. Then you take a courtyard door into a courtyard. You should know the rest from there."
"Thanks Mr. Zombie." Claire said as she got on a motorbike and drove 10 feet to the other side of the bridge. She ran up the stairs and opened the courtyard door into the...dun dun dun...courtyard!!!
"Bark! Bark!"
Claire turned to see 3 zombie dogs running towards her. "AHHHHH!!!! EVIL DOG DEMONS OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the screamed as a dog ran up to her. Claire grabbed a stick. "Here boy, see the stick? Fetch!!!" Claire threw the stick over the edge of the courtyard cliff and the dogs jumped off to their doom. "Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!" Claire laughed a creepy evil laugh. She saw something shiny on the floor and picked it up. "Navy Proof. Take it? Yes-No? Yes." Claire put it in her incredibly large pocket and walked through the big door with the words 'Big Door' above it.
Annoying door opening sequence...
Claire stepped into the room and the camera zoomed on the picture at the top of the stairs. "Hey, this is what it did in RE2 also, when I walked into the police station in my A scenario" Claire said. She's a brilliant girl isn't she? Anyway, she picked up the box of handgun bullets and walked up to the second floor. Then she entered the save room.
Pretty decent save room music plays...
Claire walked up to the desk thingy and picked up the Secretaries Memo....
'Secretary's Memo
Four friggin years have passed since I served Sir Alfred, who insists I call him Betty.
He doesn't trust anyone! And he's friggin annoying! Even though I'm his attendant, he still doesn't let me enter his private house. What's his problem anyway? He always complains that the room isn't pink enough, or that I don't look as well dressed as I should, or something like that. And he never lets me on his private house on haunted hill...I mean private house on Silent Hill.....I mean....no...nevermind, I just confused myself.
Occasionally I see his twin sister Alexia standing at the window whenever I'm spying on the house with my telescope. It might have been her, whose EXTREME beauty is often talked about. I hear just the presence of her makes everyone orgasm. Or it might be Alfred dressed up as her, or it might be a ghost, or it might be my long lost grandmother
I asked Sir Alfred about Alexia, he got pissed and went on a killing spree. I wont do that again, unless I don't value my life much. It kinda sucks anyway having to be stuck with him.
After all, it is a mystery why he's keeping his 'private' life with Alexia such a secret.
Mike Hawk'
"Hmmm, Alfred seems like a nutcase" Claire said. She walked over to the item box. "YAY!!! FINALLY! I've been looking EVERYWHERE for this stupid thingy! Now I can empty my incredibly large pockets!" Claire said as she pulled a ton of junk out of her pickets, Navy Proof, M-100P's, Condoms, Lint, Lube, Wrench, Home Entertainment System with Surround Sound (took up only 1 item space). Claire then picked up an ink ribbon and looked at the typewriter. "Better save my game....or whatever."
Claire put some paper in the typewriter and started typing with a nice beat.
ClickclickclickclickclickclickCLICK-CLINGclickclickCLICK- CLINKclickclickclickclickclickclickclickCHING-CHINK!
An audience clapped at Claire's beautiful typing skills. She bowed and then put the ink ribbon back in the item box. "Now time to continue my adventure!"
Claire walked up to the door with two Gold Luger shaped hole thingys. Having been in RE2 and played the other RE games, she knew that she required some really shiny gold Lugers to open the door.
"Ugh, stupid stupidhead door!" Claire said as she turned around. She spotted something underneath a cabinet. "Ooooh! Shiny! I want it!" Claire then, using way more strength then she needed to push a little cabinet, pushed the cabinet over, revealing an extremely shiny ID card.
Claire picked it up and read the ID number 'NQP566X9W2CXYZIP771L0711W82J292MAL91HF9A71KJHC90A28J1M9D01'
"O_o Holy SHIT. That's a long ID number!" Claire said as she stuck it in her back pocket and walked back out of the room and to the front desk. "Ugh, I suck at typing..." Claire started hunt and peck typing in the extremely long ID code...
30 Minutes later...
Claire finally finished the code and the door in the left corner of the main hall unlocked. She walked through that door and into a zombie filled hallway. Claire swung the knife once and all the zombies' heads exploded. She grinned, picked up the first red herb in the game, and then walked through the only unlocked door in the hall. She was now in some museum like room, antique guns and stuff lined the walls. Of course, Claire just CANT grab the guns off the wall can she? She saw a diamond thingy of a queen ant and pressed the button on it.
FMV scene, the graphics suddenly get a bazillion times better...
"Kewl!" Claire said as she looked at her less polygonal hands. The room got dark and an invisible projector started playing a video on the wall. Claire stared at the video...
A creepy child like tune plays as it shows two blonde twins, a boy and a girl, sitting in front of a window, playing with Barbie dolls. The boy pulls out a dollhouse and starts talking to himself as the girl picks her nose. The boy pulled out a dragonfly and started slowly plucking off the poor things wings. The girl watched with a warm smile as the boy walked over to a table and placed the wingless dragonfly in an ant colony, letting it get eaten alive by bazillions of ants. The girl walked up to him and looks at the camera with a really creepy smile. The boy and girl slowly turn to each other, smiling, their faces an inch apart. Until right before the camera faded, the boy grabbed onto the girl and they started making out. The video ended...
End FMV scene, everything has bad graphics again...
"O_O That's a bit.....disturbing...." Claire said as she stared blankly at the wall. A case of junk moved over, revealing yet another stupid secret passage. Claire walked into the new room and picked up the steering wheel thingy. "What the hell is this doing here? Oh well. Steering Wheel. Take it? Yes-No? Yes." Claire somehow shoved the Steering wheel down her pocket and managed to make it look like her pockets where still empty, then walked down more into the secret room to see the Gold Lugers mounted on the wall. "Oooo, Lugers..."
Claire pulled them off the wall and the cabinet closed off the exit! The heat turned on to really high, making Claire all hot and sweaty. She whipped her brow and started slowly unbuttoning her vest; she took off her vest and got in a sexy pose. She slowly slipped off her fingerless gloves and.....whoa...what am I doing? O_o Uhhh...Claire sweatdropped and placed the Lugers back where they belong, making the heat turn off and the cabinet move back out of the way.
"Fine, keep your stupid Lugers!" she said as she put her gloves and vest back on. "Well, I guess time for me to try to open the front door for no reason." Claire ran out of the room and kept on running like a robot until she got to the front door. She put her hand on the handle until she heard an extremely high male voice.....
"AAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
Claire sweatdropped and turned around. "Steve?"
The action music played as Claire turned around and ran back to the room she just left. She couldn't leave the place now because stupid letters would tell her to save Steve if she tried to leave the palace. Claire ran down the hall and into the museum room. There where a bunch of monitors and buttons where the wall used to be, and Claire saw Steve beating on the wall on the other side of the trap, holding the gold Lugers in his hand.
"I WANT MY MOMMMMMMYYYY!!!!!" Steve screamed. "AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"O_o Steve you idiot, PUT THE LUGERS BACK IN!"
"But I don't waaaaannaaaaa!" Steve cried. "Open the door! Open the door!"
Claire groaned. "Ugh, moron, just like Leon." Claire looked at the buttons to see a picture of a magnum, a boat, a submarine, an airplane, a Chinese male stripper, and a handgun. Underneath the buttons it said 'FINE THE ONES THAT ARE THE SAME STUPID!!!!'. Claire sweatdropped. "Wow, this is a HARD puzzle isn't it?" she sighed and pressed the submarine and the Chinese male stripper. The alarms turned off and the cabinet moved out of the way, Steve fell out and landed flat on his face.
"Phew! Thanks Claire, you saved me." Steve said as he shook his head and got up.
"You're an idiot." Claire said.
"Well I'm taller, so HA!" Steve said as he walked up to her. "I'm 17 and you're 19 and I'm still taller! Peewee!" Steve patter Claire on the head, she slapped him. "Owie! You hurt meee!" he whined.
"Only by two inches." Claire said.
Steve looked at the guns and talked with continuously bad voice acting. "Thanks, I got these, thanks to...you."
Claire looked at the gold Lugers in his hands and the piano note played. "Ooo! Those Lugers! Give them to me."
"What? No! I found them and I'm keeping them," Steve said. "Mine! Mine mine mine!
"GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!!" Claire yelled, making the earth shake. Steve sweatdropped.
"Well, how about we make a deal." Steve pointed one Luger at Claire. "I'll trade you for something fully automatic."
Claire got in a thinking pose. "Hmmmmmmmm.....how about I tear your throat out?"
"O_O N-no thanks" Steve said nervously. "Well see ya!" Steve turned and ran as fast as he could out the door.
"Sigh," Claire said. "Men. They have two heads and are still stupid as hell." Claire walked out of the room and down the hallway; she opened the door into the main hall and walked in.
A laser slowly went up Claire's leg. She saw the laser as it went up to between her eyes. She went cross-eyes and sweatdropped.
BANG!
Even though the laser was between her eyes, the bullet landed over six feet away. Claire finally realized that someone was trying to snipe her and ran behind a pillar. She heard a really gay sounding male voice.
"Redfield! How dare you interfere with my operation! It cost a lot of money to get a sex....I mean nevermind. How dare you!"
Claire raised her eyebrow. "Uhhh...what?"
"You know very well what I'm talking about!" Claire turned around the corner and saw a creepy looking blonde man dressed up like a toy soldier, holding a sniper rifle in his hand.
"Who the hell are you!?"
He put his hand to his chest. "I am Alfred Ashford! Commander of this base!"
Claire laughed. "Ha! You must be one of Umbrella's lowest rank officers to control a backwater base like this one! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Alfred smashed his hand on the railing of the stairs, then held it and shook it. "Ouch...How DARE you!" he rubbed his hand and walked across the second floor. "The Ashford family is one of the highest ranks of Umbrella inc.," he said as he got in a pose and got a proud look on his face. He turned back to Claire, who was creeping halfway into the room, trying to get out the door. Claire looked up, saw him, and ran back to behind the pillar. "And now look what you've done! You've deliberately let yourself be captured so your friends can attack my beautiful base!"
"Attacked!?" Claire asked.
"Attacked!" Alfred looked around the place. "NOW look what happened, my base has been destroyed! In the attack someone chucked a grenade into the wrong room, spilling the T-Virus everywhere, creating countless zombies and monsters."
"Oooooooaaaaaahhhhhh! So THAT'S how that happened," Claire said. "Is it just me, or does this happen to ALL of Umbrella's bases?"
"The second one." Alfred said. "Oh Claire Redfield, how dare you insult the Ashford family name!" he aimed his sniper riffle at Claire's head. "Now I shall take my sniper rifle, aim, and miss! Hahahahaha!" Alfred covered his mouth and started giggling like a schoolgirl as he fired the sniper rifle at Claire head. It missed her by at least 7 feet.
"You REALLY gotta work on your aiming." Claire said.
"Fine, play that way!" Alfred said. "You're just a rat in a cage anyway! I'll see you later! Hahahahahahaha!" he started giggling some more as he walked up the stairs.
Claire put her hand to her face. "Ugh, another creepy psycho stupidhead. Just like Irons, and he died two different ways. This is gonna be a loooooooong night." Claire said as she walked out of the palace and back into the courtyard.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I sense a plot," Sherry said with a big grin.
"Wow, you're a genius." Carlos said.
"I'm smarter than YOU," She said.
".....yeah...." Carlos said with an annoyed sigh.
"I'm gonna make some popcorn" Leon said as he walked into the kitchen.
"Don't you think we should send the army or something to go save Claire? I mean, Chris has a hard enough time figuring out how to open the elevator doors." Jill said.
"Nah!" everyone yelled.
"This is gonna be fun to watch! ^__^" Billy said.
"Oh Billy, you're soooo sexy." Rebecca said as she laid her head on his shoulder. Billy grinned. "Almost as sexy as Claire." Billy's eyes widened.
"WHAT!?"
"Nevermind."
"Many horrors await Claire Redfield." Ada said dramatically. "We can only pray that she survives."
"I bet you $20 she dies." Enrico said.
"YOU'RE ON!!!!!" Barry yelled.
Everyone fell over.
End of chapter 3! ^_^; I'll hopefully write the next one soon!