Here's the next chappy! Oy vey, my humor tend to deterioate. Mainy because
I don't have any ideas for this part of the fic. I have plenty for the
start of disk 2 though so don't worry. ^_^;; Here's the next chappy!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rebecca Chambers looked left and right down the hall, then opened the closet door and quickly ran in. She turned the light on and sat on the closet floor. She pulled a photograph of Claire grinning and giving a thumbs up out of her pocket and looked at it with a big lovesick smile.
"Oh Claire Redfield..." Rebecca said as she hugged the photograph closely, she started kissing the picture of Claire over and over. "You're so dreeeeaaaammmmmyyyyyyy." She lay on the floor with the picture covering her face, muffling her voice. "Oh marry me Claire Redfield...ooohhhhh..."
"I wonder where Rebecca went." Billy said as he looked down the hall of Leon's big house. He heard some strange muffling noises and looked at the closet door. He put his ear to the door.
"Ooh Claaaaiiiiiiiirrrrreeeeeee..."
Billy raised an eyebrow and opened the door; Rebecca fell out, since she was leaning on the door. She fell to the floor underneath the man, with a picture of Claire in her arms, seemingly ATTACHED to her face, and her right hand was down her leather pants.
"O_o What are you doing?"
"NOTHING!" Rebecca shouted as she jumped up faster than Billy thought possible. "STOP STALKING ME!!!!!!!!!" she screamed in her face, then ran away. Billy sweatdropped.
"What in the hell?"
"Hey! Billy! Look at what Claire's doing on TV!" he heard Sherry's voice yell. He walked back into the living room, where the rest of the RE cast was sitting and sat down. Claire was on the TV looking at a picture of Alfred Ashford.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm Claire, and I'm looking at a picture of Alfred Ashford!" Claire said as she waves at you and smiles. "Hmmmmmm...I WONDER why there are buttons under each of them.
She had used the Gold Key to open the double doors in the hallway, and she wanted to check out the Palace before she tried to go anywhere else. Since she used it, she just KNEW she wouldn't need it again, so she threw it away of course.
And here she was, in a room full of paintings, each containing a member of the Ashford family. There was a roll of paper under the picture of Alfred, she picked it up and started to read...
'Message to the New Family.
Sir Alfred, erm...Betty.
Congratulations on your succession as MASTAH of the Ashford Family! I hereby present you with an earthenware vase, according to the Ashford Family tradition; I shall hit you in the head with it. Then steal your money. ^_^ As you may know, this tradition first began when a butler gave a golden teacup to Veronica. She hated it, wanting something more valuable than that, so she threw it out...the bitch. As founder of the Ashford family, her intelligence and beauty are very very...big.
The second and third master debaters, Stanley and his son Thomas were ALSO presented with teacups, which they ALSO threw out. It was their hope to smear mud in Veronica's butt ugly face and achieve glory and get popular with the ladies. The position of family master then shifted from Sir Thomas to his evil twin brother, Sir Arthur. It then went to Sir Edward. Your grandfather, in case you forgot for some strange reason. That's when the Ashford Family enjoyed its golden age. It was also Sir Edward's achievement that established the large chemical enterprise that we all know and hate, Umbrella Inc. (he got the idea when he saw his son, Alexander, prancing around the house swinging an umbrella around. And then he thought 'Ya know, there isn't a company called Umbrella yet so I'll make one!' And he did, a really badass job at it too.)
However, when Sir Edward passed away (drank too much tea, it killed the poor guy), and your father Sir Alexander succeeded the position, the glorious Ashford family began to sink. Mainly because Sir Alexander SUCKED at leading peoples. I REALLY hope that the Ashford family regains its glory with your guidance, Alfred, or I swear to you I will make sure you'll suffer a fate FAR worse than death.
Ashford Family Butler, Dick Hurtz'
"This Ashford family sounds really corny and overrated, like Jill! ^_^" Claire said as she put the paper in her personal library.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"She did NOT just say that!" Jill yelled, she clenched her fists and a vein appeared in her forehead. "I'm not overrated! I AM PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Whoa whoa, calm down Jill. Don't get too excited-" Barry said, but he was interrupted when Jill right-hooked him. "OUCH!"
Barry fell to the floor, unconscious, his nose bleeding.
"O_o Damn..." Leon said.
"I swear I shall get my REVEEEENNNNNGE!" Jill yelled as she jumped up and started laughing manically, thunder and lightning flashed around her. Everyone sweatdropped.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Anyway..." Claire said. "Ooo! I know. Let me guess...I PRESS THE BUTTONS ON THE PICTURES IN THE ORDER THEY WERE LEADERS OF THE ASHFORD FAMILY OR...whatever!" she got a grin on her face and did just that, pressing the buttons under the paintings in the order the names were listed in the file. After that, she walked back to the painting of Alfy and pressed the button. The wall spun around quickly, hitting Claire and knocking her down the short steps and into a pillar. "OUCH!"
She felt her back and shook her head, then looked up to see a painting of a tall blonde female. "That must be Alexia..." she said out loud. "Sheesh, she's not THAT hot."
There was a vase on the table under the portrait. Claire picked it up and examined it.
"It's an earthen wear va-whoops!" she accidentally dropped it, it fell to the floor. "O_O Oh c-c-crap! I hope I didn't nee-ooh pretty!" she interrupted her sentence when she saw a red beetle jewel thingy in the broken...uh...whatever vases are made out of. O_o?
"Weird Beatle Jewel Thingy. Take it? Yes-No? YES!" she screamed as she shoved it down her pants. Seemingly nothing else was in the room, so she walked out.
"Oooooooohhhhhhhh..." a zombie moaned as it walked down the hallway, closer to the bike girl.
"Hi Mr. Zombie!" Claire yelled, she pulled out the Gold Lugers. "PREPARE TO EAT MY BULLETS!!!!!!"
Click. Click. Click.
"DAMNIT!" she screamed as she realized there was no more ammo in the gold Lugers. "Why do they run out RIGHT when Steve lets go of them!?" she sighed and realized the zombie was now like two feet in front of her. She casually pushed its head, knocking it over. "Stupid zombie."
She ran across the palace and back to the save rooms. "I went for so much crap for these..." she muttered as she placed the two Gold Lugers in the door at the back of the save room. She heard a click and the door unlocked.
After saving her game again, Claire walked through the newly unlocked door.
THUNDERISH NOISE!
The biker girl jumped when she heard thunder and lightning. "Whatthebajesus!? There wasn't a storm a second ago!"
It was Alfred's office! There was a large window showing a bridge not to far from the place. On a desk was a computer, and there was a big music box/cabinet thingy in the corner of the room. She picked up the box of handgun bullets and walked over to the computer. Pressing the on button, the ending of the video of the Ashford's played, then the music box turned on in the corner of the room.
"Well...that's sure interesting." She said.
'PLEASE ENTER THE SECURITY CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' the computer voice yelled, causing Claire to jump fifty feet high and hit the ceiling.
"OUCH! DAMN THAT WAS SCARY!!!!!"
Such a weird character Claire is eh? Loud computers scare her, but flesh eating zombies and monsters don't.
Claire slowly crawled back to the bathroom on the first floor of the palace to get some toilet paper, then walked back to Alfred's office. "Ah, now what could the code be?"
There was a paper near the desk, the words 'IN ORDER TO FIND THE CODE, WHICH IS NOT 1971, GO TO THE MUSIC BOX AND PRESS LEFT, LEFT LEFT LEFT, RIGHT, CIRCLE, BACK, Q, END SCENARIO, RIGHT!!!!!!!'
"O_o" Claire typed in the code, 1971 and the Ashford family tune played. The music box moved out of the way to show a...
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!
Secret passageway!
"Wow...surprising." Claire said with a yawn. She walked through the secret passage and through the door it led to.
Now she was on an incredibly long wooden bridge that led to a LOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG stairway. A mansion was high up in the darkness looking all evil and stuff.
Claire ran up to the stairs, and started walking up. Thunder and lightning flashed on the dark and creepy mansion as a female evil laugh was heard.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
"Ooo, creepy." Claire said as she started jogging up the steps.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The sound of screams woke Chris Redfield. He groaned in his sleep and turned around in the chair. All the people in the train car besides him were running around screaming, Leeches covered their bodies and were eating away at their flesh.
"5 more minutes mommy..." Chris groaned as he covered his face with the pillow. The screaming never ceased, so he sleepily got up and limped to the next car, hoping for some quietness. He pushed through the train door and into the next car, which was normal and peaceful as usual.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The girl was panting hard as she slowly crawled up the last three steps, when she got to the top; she laid her head on the floor and tried to catch her breath. "Damn (pant, pant) that stairs...(pant, pant)...was unnecessarily (pant, pant) long..."
After 10 minutes of recuperating, the girl stumbled upwards and looked around the courtyard. There was a disturbing statue of an angel with its throat torn open in front of her.
"Ewwwww..."
"Um...roar!" Claire jumped and turned to see a Bandersnatch standing right next to her.
"Oh, hi."
"Hey"
"So...what is it?"
"Well...I'm supposed to try to kill you."
"Oh, well. Go ahead. ^_^" Claire said, the thing grabbed onto her head. "OUCH!" the thing shook her head around, trying to crush her skull in. She slapped the things arm off of her and shot it a bazillion times with her M- 100Ps. "DDDDIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!"
The Bandersnatch let out a roar fell to the floor (oooh! I just rhymed! ^_^;;) in a pool of its own blood, dead.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Claire yelled, she felt something slap her ass and turned around to see ANOTHER Bandersnatch. "Holy crap!" She pulled the guns back out and shoot the hell out of the poor monster. After it was pumped full of led, and dead (YAY ANOTHER RHYME! ^_^;;;;;) on the floor, Claire jogged up the OTHER stairs. She picked up the conveniently placed red herb on the floor and walked up to the double doors.
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Claire put her face REEEEAAAALLLYYYY close to the knobs and stared at it for an extra long time.
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
She SLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLLYYYYYY put her hands on the handles.
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
*~*~*~*~*~*
"JUST OPEN THE GOSH DARN DOOR YE PRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the whole RE cast screamed at the TV screen.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Claire turned the handles and opened the doors.
Some really creepy music played as she looked around the mansion. A gasp of horror escaped her lips at what stand stagnant just in front of her. Upon that sign, words, words of darkness, words of EVILNESS...
'You Have Now Entered The Residence Of Evil...'
"Oooo...scary..." she said. Bats flew around the room, she equipped her lighter. "Sheesh you'd think they'd do a better job at this bat problem."
There were dolls, oh so many dolls, hidden around the room. There was a sign taped to the glass case that the dolls were in.
'Evil Stuff'
"Creative! ^_^" Claire said. She walked through a door made out of cushions into the dinning room.
Heavy footsteps echoed throughout the dinning room, Claire turned and saw a Bandersnatch next to the unlit fireplace.
"Boo!" the thing yelled.
"AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Claire screamed, she started swinging the lighter around; it hit the thing in the eyes.
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!! MY HIDEOUSLY CREEPY EYES!!!!!" the thing screamed as it fell to the floor and started spasming. The girl sweatdropped.
"Weeeeiiiiirrrrddddd..."
She walked over to the fireplace to try and light it. The very second the lighter touched the wood the whole fireplace exploded in flames. One ember fell on Claire's foot; she started stomping it on the ground, trying to put it out.
"Ack!" Claire yelled, she ran over to a sink, filled a glass with water, and dumped it on her shoe. "Stupid flames of death!" she walked over to the fireplace and started warming her hands up. "Fire waaaarrrrrmmmmmmmm...=^.^="
Surprisingly, there really wasn't anything useful in the room besides some bowgun arrows, but she already had 100,000+ of those.
She walked back into the main room and up the stairs; all the bats cowered in fear in the dark corners of the room, trying to avoid the light. Our heroine walked to the balcony area thingy and starred at the GIANT doll hanging in the room. It was holding its head in its hands.
"Ewwww..."
She picked the first aid spray off of the table, and the box of handgun bullets off of the floor. Wondering who would leave them here, she walked through the other cushioned door.
Turn the volume up! This is an 'important' scene!
"What's taking so long brotha? Our enemy is only a litta gurl." A female voice said with a rich accent, Claire crouched down and looked through the window in the wall. Alexia Ashford stood on the other end of the window, in a bedroom. The biker girl suddenly groaned and got a sticky feeling in her pants. She ran up and put her back to the wall, then looked down her jeans.
"O_O Holy SHIT! You really DO orgasm when you see Alexia Ashford!" she said, she took some of the toilet paper she got from the palace and stuffed it down her pants. "Ick..."
"I'm sorry Alexia, but I SHALL defeat her. Because I AM ALFRED ASHFORD! Mmyes!" she heard Alfred's gay and annoying voice say, being instantly turned off.
"DO NOT WORRY brotha, once you defeat her the GLORY of thy ASHFORD family will be...uh...back." Alexia said with a giggle, Claire raised an eyebrow and looked at the girls face in the window. The blonde female looked directly at her, Claire's eyes widened and she jumped two feet and onto the floor. "Who's there!?"
"Ooof!"
"Is someone in the core-i-door!?" Alexia asked, Claire ran and hid around the corner. Alexia put her hands against the window and looked down the corridor.
The suspense...
"Mmwhat is it Alexia?" Alfred's voice asked.
"N-nothing..." the blonde girl said as she got an extremely paranoid look on her face. "Immust be seeing things, I could of sworn I saw a dark haired biker girl named Claire Redfield wearing a vest that says 'Let Me Live' on the back and stuffing toilet paper down her panties."
"You need your medication?"
"No, I'm fine. Mmlet's go dear brotha. If we had a list of things we had time wouldn't be one of them." She said. Claire heard the sound of a heavy door open and close, then looked forward.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod..." she muttered. "BOTH of the Ashford twins are here...then that means..."
Claire's face turned white.
"There are TWO rich blonde people on this island..." she looked at the ceiling. "Dear god someone help me..."
Turning to the left, she opened the gray door, revealing a small, comfortable bedroom. Shelfs were lined along the walls; a few incredibly small desks were in several corners. Claire saw her own reflection staring back at her in the partially broken mirror in the corner of the room. They were gone, the Ashford theme played on a music box, which stood on the opposite side of the room from the bed.
"I wonder where they went..."
The mural of a female smoking pot with the words 'SECRET DOOR' written above it didn't make it obvious enough for our heroine. She looked at the big cabinet next to the door; it had all kinds of pictures of the Ashford Twins.
The first one was a cute picture of Alfred and Alexia when they were both 10. Alfred was blowing a kiss at the camera while Alexia was making a peace sign with her hands. While a bit strange, it was still cute.
"Awwww..."
The second picture showed the Ashford twins when they were 11. Alfred was wearing Alexia's dress while poshing in the mirror and Alexia was wearing his military suit while saluting. Claire sweatdropped and walked over to the next photo.
"O.o Eheheh..."
The last photograph on that row was a photo of the twins when they were 12. Alfred was strapped to a chair, butt naked, while a white arsed Alexia was sitting above him and-
"EWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Claire screamed and covered her eyes. "THERE IS NO GOD!!" she hit herself in the face with the butt of her handgun and passed out.
Later...
"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh Leeeeoooooonnnnn..." she muttered in her sleep, she shook her head and looked at the religious painting on the ceiling. "Ouuch..." she slowly got up, the Alexia Ashford tune played on the music box. After rubbing her forehead, she walked over to the box.
"Hmmm...this tune is pretty relaxing,..." she said. "I'd better close the music box!!!!!!!" she closed the box and a click was heard, she tried to open it again but it was locked. "Aww nutbunnys!"
There was a hole shaped like the queen beetle jewel, Claire pulled it out of her pocket and placed it in the box. The box opened once again and the tune restarted. The big metal...thing covering the bed behind her suddenly lifted off the bed, showing a comfy bed. There was a Silver Key on it. She walked up to it and picked it up.
"Silver Key. Take it? Yes-No? Of course damnit!" she stuck the key down her breast. The metal...thingy SLAMMED down on the bed, causing Claire jump out of her socks. "ACK! ;_; That scurred meeeh!" She snuffed up tears, turned around, pulled the music box plate out of the music box, just for the hell of it, and put it in her pocket somehow.
"Well...I think I've crammed enough up my pants for right now. ^^;" She said to herself. "Now...BACK TO THE PALACE I GOOOOOO!!!!!" she turned and ran back to the palace.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rebecca Chambers looked left and right down the hall, then opened the closet door and quickly ran in. She turned the light on and sat on the closet floor. She pulled a photograph of Claire grinning and giving a thumbs up out of her pocket and looked at it with a big lovesick smile.
"Oh Claire Redfield..." Rebecca said as she hugged the photograph closely, she started kissing the picture of Claire over and over. "You're so dreeeeaaaammmmmyyyyyyy." She lay on the floor with the picture covering her face, muffling her voice. "Oh marry me Claire Redfield...ooohhhhh..."
"I wonder where Rebecca went." Billy said as he looked down the hall of Leon's big house. He heard some strange muffling noises and looked at the closet door. He put his ear to the door.
"Ooh Claaaaiiiiiiiirrrrreeeeeee..."
Billy raised an eyebrow and opened the door; Rebecca fell out, since she was leaning on the door. She fell to the floor underneath the man, with a picture of Claire in her arms, seemingly ATTACHED to her face, and her right hand was down her leather pants.
"O_o What are you doing?"
"NOTHING!" Rebecca shouted as she jumped up faster than Billy thought possible. "STOP STALKING ME!!!!!!!!!" she screamed in her face, then ran away. Billy sweatdropped.
"What in the hell?"
"Hey! Billy! Look at what Claire's doing on TV!" he heard Sherry's voice yell. He walked back into the living room, where the rest of the RE cast was sitting and sat down. Claire was on the TV looking at a picture of Alfred Ashford.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm Claire, and I'm looking at a picture of Alfred Ashford!" Claire said as she waves at you and smiles. "Hmmmmmm...I WONDER why there are buttons under each of them.
She had used the Gold Key to open the double doors in the hallway, and she wanted to check out the Palace before she tried to go anywhere else. Since she used it, she just KNEW she wouldn't need it again, so she threw it away of course.
And here she was, in a room full of paintings, each containing a member of the Ashford family. There was a roll of paper under the picture of Alfred, she picked it up and started to read...
'Message to the New Family.
Sir Alfred, erm...Betty.
Congratulations on your succession as MASTAH of the Ashford Family! I hereby present you with an earthenware vase, according to the Ashford Family tradition; I shall hit you in the head with it. Then steal your money. ^_^ As you may know, this tradition first began when a butler gave a golden teacup to Veronica. She hated it, wanting something more valuable than that, so she threw it out...the bitch. As founder of the Ashford family, her intelligence and beauty are very very...big.
The second and third master debaters, Stanley and his son Thomas were ALSO presented with teacups, which they ALSO threw out. It was their hope to smear mud in Veronica's butt ugly face and achieve glory and get popular with the ladies. The position of family master then shifted from Sir Thomas to his evil twin brother, Sir Arthur. It then went to Sir Edward. Your grandfather, in case you forgot for some strange reason. That's when the Ashford Family enjoyed its golden age. It was also Sir Edward's achievement that established the large chemical enterprise that we all know and hate, Umbrella Inc. (he got the idea when he saw his son, Alexander, prancing around the house swinging an umbrella around. And then he thought 'Ya know, there isn't a company called Umbrella yet so I'll make one!' And he did, a really badass job at it too.)
However, when Sir Edward passed away (drank too much tea, it killed the poor guy), and your father Sir Alexander succeeded the position, the glorious Ashford family began to sink. Mainly because Sir Alexander SUCKED at leading peoples. I REALLY hope that the Ashford family regains its glory with your guidance, Alfred, or I swear to you I will make sure you'll suffer a fate FAR worse than death.
Ashford Family Butler, Dick Hurtz'
"This Ashford family sounds really corny and overrated, like Jill! ^_^" Claire said as she put the paper in her personal library.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"She did NOT just say that!" Jill yelled, she clenched her fists and a vein appeared in her forehead. "I'm not overrated! I AM PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Whoa whoa, calm down Jill. Don't get too excited-" Barry said, but he was interrupted when Jill right-hooked him. "OUCH!"
Barry fell to the floor, unconscious, his nose bleeding.
"O_o Damn..." Leon said.
"I swear I shall get my REVEEEENNNNNGE!" Jill yelled as she jumped up and started laughing manically, thunder and lightning flashed around her. Everyone sweatdropped.
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Anyway..." Claire said. "Ooo! I know. Let me guess...I PRESS THE BUTTONS ON THE PICTURES IN THE ORDER THEY WERE LEADERS OF THE ASHFORD FAMILY OR...whatever!" she got a grin on her face and did just that, pressing the buttons under the paintings in the order the names were listed in the file. After that, she walked back to the painting of Alfy and pressed the button. The wall spun around quickly, hitting Claire and knocking her down the short steps and into a pillar. "OUCH!"
She felt her back and shook her head, then looked up to see a painting of a tall blonde female. "That must be Alexia..." she said out loud. "Sheesh, she's not THAT hot."
There was a vase on the table under the portrait. Claire picked it up and examined it.
"It's an earthen wear va-whoops!" she accidentally dropped it, it fell to the floor. "O_O Oh c-c-crap! I hope I didn't nee-ooh pretty!" she interrupted her sentence when she saw a red beetle jewel thingy in the broken...uh...whatever vases are made out of. O_o?
"Weird Beatle Jewel Thingy. Take it? Yes-No? YES!" she screamed as she shoved it down her pants. Seemingly nothing else was in the room, so she walked out.
"Oooooooohhhhhhhh..." a zombie moaned as it walked down the hallway, closer to the bike girl.
"Hi Mr. Zombie!" Claire yelled, she pulled out the Gold Lugers. "PREPARE TO EAT MY BULLETS!!!!!!"
Click. Click. Click.
"DAMNIT!" she screamed as she realized there was no more ammo in the gold Lugers. "Why do they run out RIGHT when Steve lets go of them!?" she sighed and realized the zombie was now like two feet in front of her. She casually pushed its head, knocking it over. "Stupid zombie."
She ran across the palace and back to the save rooms. "I went for so much crap for these..." she muttered as she placed the two Gold Lugers in the door at the back of the save room. She heard a click and the door unlocked.
After saving her game again, Claire walked through the newly unlocked door.
THUNDERISH NOISE!
The biker girl jumped when she heard thunder and lightning. "Whatthebajesus!? There wasn't a storm a second ago!"
It was Alfred's office! There was a large window showing a bridge not to far from the place. On a desk was a computer, and there was a big music box/cabinet thingy in the corner of the room. She picked up the box of handgun bullets and walked over to the computer. Pressing the on button, the ending of the video of the Ashford's played, then the music box turned on in the corner of the room.
"Well...that's sure interesting." She said.
'PLEASE ENTER THE SECURITY CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' the computer voice yelled, causing Claire to jump fifty feet high and hit the ceiling.
"OUCH! DAMN THAT WAS SCARY!!!!!"
Such a weird character Claire is eh? Loud computers scare her, but flesh eating zombies and monsters don't.
Claire slowly crawled back to the bathroom on the first floor of the palace to get some toilet paper, then walked back to Alfred's office. "Ah, now what could the code be?"
There was a paper near the desk, the words 'IN ORDER TO FIND THE CODE, WHICH IS NOT 1971, GO TO THE MUSIC BOX AND PRESS LEFT, LEFT LEFT LEFT, RIGHT, CIRCLE, BACK, Q, END SCENARIO, RIGHT!!!!!!!'
"O_o" Claire typed in the code, 1971 and the Ashford family tune played. The music box moved out of the way to show a...
DUN DUN DUN!!!!!
Secret passageway!
"Wow...surprising." Claire said with a yawn. She walked through the secret passage and through the door it led to.
Now she was on an incredibly long wooden bridge that led to a LOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG stairway. A mansion was high up in the darkness looking all evil and stuff.
Claire ran up to the stairs, and started walking up. Thunder and lightning flashed on the dark and creepy mansion as a female evil laugh was heard.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
"Ooo, creepy." Claire said as she started jogging up the steps.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The sound of screams woke Chris Redfield. He groaned in his sleep and turned around in the chair. All the people in the train car besides him were running around screaming, Leeches covered their bodies and were eating away at their flesh.
"5 more minutes mommy..." Chris groaned as he covered his face with the pillow. The screaming never ceased, so he sleepily got up and limped to the next car, hoping for some quietness. He pushed through the train door and into the next car, which was normal and peaceful as usual.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The girl was panting hard as she slowly crawled up the last three steps, when she got to the top; she laid her head on the floor and tried to catch her breath. "Damn (pant, pant) that stairs...(pant, pant)...was unnecessarily (pant, pant) long..."
After 10 minutes of recuperating, the girl stumbled upwards and looked around the courtyard. There was a disturbing statue of an angel with its throat torn open in front of her.
"Ewwwww..."
"Um...roar!" Claire jumped and turned to see a Bandersnatch standing right next to her.
"Oh, hi."
"Hey"
"So...what is it?"
"Well...I'm supposed to try to kill you."
"Oh, well. Go ahead. ^_^" Claire said, the thing grabbed onto her head. "OUCH!" the thing shook her head around, trying to crush her skull in. She slapped the things arm off of her and shot it a bazillion times with her M- 100Ps. "DDDDIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!"
The Bandersnatch let out a roar fell to the floor (oooh! I just rhymed! ^_^;;) in a pool of its own blood, dead.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Claire yelled, she felt something slap her ass and turned around to see ANOTHER Bandersnatch. "Holy crap!" She pulled the guns back out and shoot the hell out of the poor monster. After it was pumped full of led, and dead (YAY ANOTHER RHYME! ^_^;;;;;) on the floor, Claire jogged up the OTHER stairs. She picked up the conveniently placed red herb on the floor and walked up to the double doors.
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Claire put her face REEEEAAAALLLYYYY close to the knobs and stared at it for an extra long time.
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
She SLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLLLYYYYYY put her hands on the handles.
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
Heartbeat...
*~*~*~*~*~*
"JUST OPEN THE GOSH DARN DOOR YE PRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the whole RE cast screamed at the TV screen.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Claire turned the handles and opened the doors.
Some really creepy music played as she looked around the mansion. A gasp of horror escaped her lips at what stand stagnant just in front of her. Upon that sign, words, words of darkness, words of EVILNESS...
'You Have Now Entered The Residence Of Evil...'
"Oooo...scary..." she said. Bats flew around the room, she equipped her lighter. "Sheesh you'd think they'd do a better job at this bat problem."
There were dolls, oh so many dolls, hidden around the room. There was a sign taped to the glass case that the dolls were in.
'Evil Stuff'
"Creative! ^_^" Claire said. She walked through a door made out of cushions into the dinning room.
Heavy footsteps echoed throughout the dinning room, Claire turned and saw a Bandersnatch next to the unlit fireplace.
"Boo!" the thing yelled.
"AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" Claire screamed, she started swinging the lighter around; it hit the thing in the eyes.
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!! MY HIDEOUSLY CREEPY EYES!!!!!" the thing screamed as it fell to the floor and started spasming. The girl sweatdropped.
"Weeeeiiiiirrrrddddd..."
She walked over to the fireplace to try and light it. The very second the lighter touched the wood the whole fireplace exploded in flames. One ember fell on Claire's foot; she started stomping it on the ground, trying to put it out.
"Ack!" Claire yelled, she ran over to a sink, filled a glass with water, and dumped it on her shoe. "Stupid flames of death!" she walked over to the fireplace and started warming her hands up. "Fire waaaarrrrrmmmmmmmm...=^.^="
Surprisingly, there really wasn't anything useful in the room besides some bowgun arrows, but she already had 100,000+ of those.
She walked back into the main room and up the stairs; all the bats cowered in fear in the dark corners of the room, trying to avoid the light. Our heroine walked to the balcony area thingy and starred at the GIANT doll hanging in the room. It was holding its head in its hands.
"Ewwww..."
She picked the first aid spray off of the table, and the box of handgun bullets off of the floor. Wondering who would leave them here, she walked through the other cushioned door.
Turn the volume up! This is an 'important' scene!
"What's taking so long brotha? Our enemy is only a litta gurl." A female voice said with a rich accent, Claire crouched down and looked through the window in the wall. Alexia Ashford stood on the other end of the window, in a bedroom. The biker girl suddenly groaned and got a sticky feeling in her pants. She ran up and put her back to the wall, then looked down her jeans.
"O_O Holy SHIT! You really DO orgasm when you see Alexia Ashford!" she said, she took some of the toilet paper she got from the palace and stuffed it down her pants. "Ick..."
"I'm sorry Alexia, but I SHALL defeat her. Because I AM ALFRED ASHFORD! Mmyes!" she heard Alfred's gay and annoying voice say, being instantly turned off.
"DO NOT WORRY brotha, once you defeat her the GLORY of thy ASHFORD family will be...uh...back." Alexia said with a giggle, Claire raised an eyebrow and looked at the girls face in the window. The blonde female looked directly at her, Claire's eyes widened and she jumped two feet and onto the floor. "Who's there!?"
"Ooof!"
"Is someone in the core-i-door!?" Alexia asked, Claire ran and hid around the corner. Alexia put her hands against the window and looked down the corridor.
The suspense...
"Mmwhat is it Alexia?" Alfred's voice asked.
"N-nothing..." the blonde girl said as she got an extremely paranoid look on her face. "Immust be seeing things, I could of sworn I saw a dark haired biker girl named Claire Redfield wearing a vest that says 'Let Me Live' on the back and stuffing toilet paper down her panties."
"You need your medication?"
"No, I'm fine. Mmlet's go dear brotha. If we had a list of things we had time wouldn't be one of them." She said. Claire heard the sound of a heavy door open and close, then looked forward.
"Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod..." she muttered. "BOTH of the Ashford twins are here...then that means..."
Claire's face turned white.
"There are TWO rich blonde people on this island..." she looked at the ceiling. "Dear god someone help me..."
Turning to the left, she opened the gray door, revealing a small, comfortable bedroom. Shelfs were lined along the walls; a few incredibly small desks were in several corners. Claire saw her own reflection staring back at her in the partially broken mirror in the corner of the room. They were gone, the Ashford theme played on a music box, which stood on the opposite side of the room from the bed.
"I wonder where they went..."
The mural of a female smoking pot with the words 'SECRET DOOR' written above it didn't make it obvious enough for our heroine. She looked at the big cabinet next to the door; it had all kinds of pictures of the Ashford Twins.
The first one was a cute picture of Alfred and Alexia when they were both 10. Alfred was blowing a kiss at the camera while Alexia was making a peace sign with her hands. While a bit strange, it was still cute.
"Awwww..."
The second picture showed the Ashford twins when they were 11. Alfred was wearing Alexia's dress while poshing in the mirror and Alexia was wearing his military suit while saluting. Claire sweatdropped and walked over to the next photo.
"O.o Eheheh..."
The last photograph on that row was a photo of the twins when they were 12. Alfred was strapped to a chair, butt naked, while a white arsed Alexia was sitting above him and-
"EWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Claire screamed and covered her eyes. "THERE IS NO GOD!!" she hit herself in the face with the butt of her handgun and passed out.
Later...
"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh Leeeeoooooonnnnn..." she muttered in her sleep, she shook her head and looked at the religious painting on the ceiling. "Ouuch..." she slowly got up, the Alexia Ashford tune played on the music box. After rubbing her forehead, she walked over to the box.
"Hmmm...this tune is pretty relaxing,..." she said. "I'd better close the music box!!!!!!!" she closed the box and a click was heard, she tried to open it again but it was locked. "Aww nutbunnys!"
There was a hole shaped like the queen beetle jewel, Claire pulled it out of her pocket and placed it in the box. The box opened once again and the tune restarted. The big metal...thing covering the bed behind her suddenly lifted off the bed, showing a comfy bed. There was a Silver Key on it. She walked up to it and picked it up.
"Silver Key. Take it? Yes-No? Of course damnit!" she stuck the key down her breast. The metal...thingy SLAMMED down on the bed, causing Claire jump out of her socks. "ACK! ;_; That scurred meeeh!" She snuffed up tears, turned around, pulled the music box plate out of the music box, just for the hell of it, and put it in her pocket somehow.
"Well...I think I've crammed enough up my pants for right now. ^^;" She said to herself. "Now...BACK TO THE PALACE I GOOOOOO!!!!!" she turned and ran back to the palace.