Heya again!!!! ^^;; Man, I haven't updated this fic in a looong time!
Sorry, I've been more in the Sonic spirit than the RE spirit as of late. Oh
well, I'll still continue this of course. This chappy kinda sucked I think,
._. sorry. ^_^; The next one will be better. On with the fanfic!
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Claire's eyes widened in terror at what stood before her in the cargo bay.
The cargo bay door was wide open, sucking just about everything lightweight out. Tons of paper appeared out of nowhere and flew out of the plane. In the middle of the room stood the Tyrant. Beaten, bloodied, and really pissed off.
"Of course..." Claire muttered. Unfortunately for her, the Tyrant heard. It slowly turned around and looked at her.
"YOU!!!!!!" He yelled as he did the Nemesis pose and shot out his claw like those mechanical spikes in those old Sonic games. (XD!!!)
"Uh...hi. ^^;;" Claire waved nervously. "You're probably mad at me for...killing you...^^;;;;;;;;"
"You bet your candy ass I am!!!!!" The Tyrant screamed, Claire sweatdropped and backed away nervously.
"^_^;;;;;;;; Cant we settle this peacefully?"
"No."
Claire's nervous smile turned into a VERY nervous frown. The Tyrant took a step foreword. Claire took a step back. The Tyrant took another step forward. Claire took another step back. Grinning, the Tyrant took ANOTHER step forward. Claire took a step back and felt her back hit the door.
"Oy crap..."
"Muahaha!"
BEEP!
She turned and looked at the control panel right next to her.
'THE CATAPULT IS READY RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTA USE IT SISTAH BEFORE THAT MONSTER KICKS YOUR SORRY ASS!!!!!!'
Both sweatdropped.
"What the hell's a catapult doing in a plane!?" Claire asked. The Tyrant shrugged and ran towards her, Claire's eyes widened. "AAAHHHH!!!!" She jumped and slammed her fist into the Big Red Button. The catapult, which happened to have a large crate with the words 'Tyrant-Killing-Crate' written on it shot forward.
"Oh crap!" The Tyrant yelled as the crate smashed right into him. The crate, with him with it on it, went sliding across the room at a bazillion miles an hour, towards the open cargo bay door.
"Muahah!" Claire yelled as she started dancing. "Boom baby!" Suddenly the crate stopped and was sent shooting back at her. "AHHH!" She jumped out of the way as it smashed back into the wall. The Tyrant stood right near the door with a proud look on his face.
"Man I'm strong! XD" The Tyrant said as he started flexing and kissing his muscles. Claire raised an eyebrow and pulled out her grenade launcher. "NOOOOO!!!!!!" The Tyrant covered his face and squealed like a little girl, expecting to be hit with another B.O.W. Gas round.
Click! Click!
"DAMNIT!" Claire screamed as she heard the aggravating click of an empty gun. She looked at the monster face, and frantically reached for her bucket- o-grenade rounds.
With a bigass grin on his face, the Tyrant continued to walk towards her at a disturbingly slow pace for a monster. And when I say slow I mean SLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Suddenly a bright light appeared next to Claire, and Bob the Magical Fairy came out and landed right next to her.
"Bob!?"
Bob shook his head and turned to Claire. "Claire! You've gotta use the bowgun with bowgun powder!"
Claire raised an eyebrow. "But the bowgun sucks ass!"
"Trust me, it's better with the Bowgun Powder."
"Uh..." Claire and Bob looked at the Tyrant. Who was still walking towards them so slowly that he hadn't reached them yet. Claire sweatdropped. "...okay. But if I die I'm gonna kill you!"
"^^;; Time for me to go! See ya!" Before Claire could respond Bob flew passed the Tyrant and out the cargo door.
Claire pulled out the bowgun and loaded it with bowgun powder. Now it became...
Dun dun dun!!!
THE SUPER BOWGUN!!!!!!!!!!!
A magical aura glowed around the weapon, as it suddenly became one of the most kickass weapons in the game. She raised it to her eye level and pulled the trigger. Immediately, about 600 flaming explosive arrows of DEATH shot out and hit the Tyrant. Causing a huge explosion that rocked the whole plane.
"SON OF A BITCH!!!!!" The Tyrant screamed and he was sent flying back. Claire couldn't let go of the trigger! The weapon was firing rapidly like a...rapidly firing gun!!! It uncontrollably send burning explosive arrows of doom flying every direction, until Claire managed to pin the gun to the ground and take her hand off the trigger.
Breathing out a sigh, Claire looked up and stared into the eyes of the Tyrant. She ducked immediately, missing the deadly claw by mere inches as it stabbed into the wall, leaving a bigass hole. She rolled out of the way and dodged another claw attack. She ran up next to the cargo door, turned around, and aimed her bowgun up at the monsters face.
"DIE FOTHER MUCKER!!!" Claire screamed as she once again pulled the trigger. She was sent flying back as the gun fired rapidly, almost falling completely out of the plane! The Tyrant tried to dodge, but failed miserably and 'sploded into flames once again.
"GOD DAMNIT!" He yelled. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT HURTS!?"
"^_^; Nope!"
The Tyrant started limping towards her with a PMSing look on his face. Claire stepped back and pulled the trigger of the bowgun.
Click Click!
"Gosh darn it!!!!" Claire yelled, she looked up to meet the fist of the Tyrant.
POW!!!!
"AHHHH!" Claire flew into the plane wall and hit her head. Any normal person's face would be shattered to a bazillion jillion pieces, but not Claire of course. ^^;;
Dazed, she looked up and jumped out of the way of another downswing attack. It created a huge sound that rocked the whole plane!
BEEP!
Claire turned around and looked near the door that led to the cockpit, the catapult button was glowing.
'THE GODDAMN CATAPULT IS READY NOW SO YOU BETTA PUSH THE DANG BUTTON BEFORE THE GIANT MONSTER KILLS YOU!!!!' the computer voice yelled.
"Damnit stop moving!" The Tyrant yelled right after it. Claire looked straight up to see him starring at her from about, the claw raised above his head. The claw of death...
A bazillion thoughts shot through Claire's head at once, and her old moms voice echoed throughout her head.
FLASHBACK!
Claire's Mom: Now remember pumpkin, when a giant monster is hovering above you and is about to turn you into confetti, always kick him in the balls. Because that's the mans weakspot.
UNFLASHBACK!
Claire's eyes widened and in a quick motion she shot her leg up and kicked the Tyrant where it hurts. A loud squeaking sound was made and the Tyrant grabbed his crotch, his eyes widened.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" He screamed at an incredibly high pitch, which caused the glass in the plane to crack and Claire to cover her ears (Steve, who was listening to Christina Agulara's "Beautiful" blaring over the radio, didn't hear it though).
A grin formed on her lips as she got up, the Tyrant just stood there with a blank look on his face.
"Hiiiiiii-yaaaaaa!" Claire yelled dramatically as she jumped and slammed her fist into the button, falling over in the process. The crate shot forward, smacking right into the Tyrant. Both were sent sliding across the plane, the Tyrant tried to push back, he looked around and stared at the cargo door only a few feet away.
"Oh crap..." The Tyrant muttered. The crate--with him on it--flew right out of the plane and exploded in mid air!
Claire ran up to the cargo door and looked outside, the monster was gone. She beat him!
"I'm sorry, but your flight has been cancelled." She said with a bigass grin. "MUAHAHAHA-WHAA!" she cried as she stumbled and almost fell out of the plane, but she wiggled herself back on and fell on her ass. "Okey, Note: Don't stand near giant open cargo bay door on plane moving a bazillion miles an hour..."
With a proud smile, she turned around and walked back into the cockpit.
Annoying door opening sequence...
Right when she got in, Steve turned around and looked at her, a scarred look on her face. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!?"
"DAMN I KICK ASS!" Claire yelled, completely ignoring him. Steve sweatdropped as she started dancing like an idiot.
"Yeah I know. ^_^" he said with a big smile. "But I meant what happened?"
"Nothing, just uh...a giant cockroach that had to be stepped on." She said coolly as she walked over to one of the windows.
"Giant cockroaches?" Steve asked. "There were giant cockroaches on that island too?"
Claire sweatdropped, she didn't expect that. "Uh...yeah. ^^;;"
Steve raised an eyebrow. "Jeez..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This talk of giant cockroaches triggered a self destruct system within Sherry's brain.
"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed as she hugged Rebecca tightly and burst into tears. "GIANT COCKROACHES OF EEEEEVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!"
"Um...wha?" everyone asked.
Ada sighed. "RE2. Sewers. Claire A Leon B scenario. X_x Giant cockroaches..."
"Oooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!" everyone said. "...wha?"
Leon, Ada, and Sherry fell over. "NEVERMIND!!!"
"Okay! ^_^" Everyone went back to the TV screen.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Chris screamed as he continued to shoot through the air on the rocket-bike. He was flying like this for a few minutes, and he guessed he'd cleared at LEAST 40 miles by now.
He looked down to see a city way down below. Maybe 400 stories down.
"Oh man..." Chris muttered as he noticed the bike was beginning to descend. "I'm SCREEEEWWWEEED!!!!" The bike suddenly dropped like a ton of bricks down into the city below.
-
"Momma Momma look! A man on a big motorcycle is falling from the sky!" A little boy said as he pointed in the sky.
"Of course dear." His mother said, focusing all of her attention on a sports bra in a store window and not on her son.
"...aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
The whole city block shook as a huge crater appeared in the middle of the street. All the cars screeched to a halt and smoke shot up everywhere.
".....ouch......" Chris muttered as he slowly crawled out of the crater. "...that was not a good idea..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Ewww..." Steve said as he looked down at his still cummy Spongebob Squarepants boxers. "Erm...Claire?"
"Yeah?" Claire asked.
"You wouldn't happen to have anymore tissues would you? ^^;;"
"Nope, sorry." She replied.
"Dang it..."
"But I do have this." Claire said as she pulled out a tampon and placed it in his hand. "Use it wisely."
Steve sweatdropped and nervously stuffed the tampon down his pants. "Thanks."
Beep!
"Ack!" The steering wheel jerked to the right so fast that it sent Steve flipping out of his chair and onto the ground. "Oof!"
"Steve?" Claire asked as she walked up to him. "Are you okay!?"
Steve looked up at her, dazed. "Ye-"
"What the hell happened!?"
The boy slowly stumbled up and sat back in the pilot's chair. He tried to turn the steering wheel back left, but it wouldn't move!
"I don't know!" He said. "The plane just....went into autopilot!"
"NOT AUTOPILOT!!!!" Claire cried as she got in a dramatic pose. "Well, change it back!"
"I caaaaant!" Steve whined. ";_; The controls are locked."
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Claire cried again. "...wait, how in the bloody 'ell did it change to autopilot on its own?"
Boop!
Claire and Steve both looked up at the TV screen in the corner to see Alfred's butt ugly face, which was now smeared with makeup.
"Mmmy apologies! But I cannot let you escape now!" Alfred said as he put on some eyeliner. "Hmhmhmhmhmhm! Mmyes, cant you see? You're never going to escape alive! Mhmhmhmhm! Mmyes! I can make your plane go wherever I want it to go! I can take you to the sun if I wanted to!"
"Planes cant go in space." Steve and Claire said matter of factly.
"Well...I can make you drive right into the ocean if I wanted to! I can do anything I want, because I'M IMPORTANT! Mmyes! On a SCALE of one to ten, YOU'RE the one and I'M the ten! THE TEN! Mmmyes! That's MEE!" He started giggling insanely like a little girl until Claire threw her handgun at the screen, shattering it to pieces.
"GODDAMN CROSS DRESSING FREAK!!!!!!" Claire screamed at the top of her lungs.
Steve bashed his head into the control panel. "Arg! I wanted to go to Hawaii! ;_;"
Claire sighed and sat in the co-pilots chair. "Damnit, now where the hell are we going?"
"Only time will tell..." Steve said as he looked out the window dramatically. "Only time will tell..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I bet you $50 they're going to Spain!" Enrico yelled.
"YOU'RE ON!!!" Barry yelled.
"$20 they're going to Canada!" Richard yelled.
"No way, they're going to Mexico!" yelled Carlos.
"RUSSIA!" yelled Ben.
"JAPAN!" yelled Sherry.
"GREAT BRITAIN!" yelled Ark.
"ITALY!" yelled Billy.
"INDIA!"
"NIGERIA!"
"AUSTRALIA!"
"GERMANY!"
"SOUTH AFRICA!"
"SILENCE!!!!!" Ada screamed at the top of her lungs, everyone stopped and looked at her.
"I don't remember a country called Silence..." Barry said, Jill smacked him over the head. "Ouch!"
"Now come on, stop arguing." Ada said. "They're obviously going to China."
"NO WAY!" everyone screamed. They started arguing again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chris pushed open the double doors of the church and walked in dramatically. The bike had landed only about a block away from a big cathedral; a buncha nuns were prancing around the place doing...whatever nuns do. O_o
He walked further into the cathedral as holy music played in the background; he walked up to a nun and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me ma'am," the nun turned around and shrieked when she saw the gun in his gun holder thingy.
"We do not allow weapons of death here!" she said.
"Weapons of death? Aren't all weapons deadly?"
"Get out! Please, in the name of God!"
"But I need some directions..." Chris said.
"Just go!" she yelled.
"But..."
"Please!"
"Listen to me goddamnit!" he yelled. Everyone in the whole cathedral gasped and looked at him. He looked around nervously. "I mean..."
-
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Chris screamed as he was literally thrown out the front doors of the church and onto the stairs by a group of nuns.
"AND DON'T COME BACK, ASSHOLE!" A nun screamed as they slammed a the double doors.
"Yeah well..." Chris slowly stumbled up. "Your choir sucks!"
With a sigh, he turned around and stumbled down the steps. "Man, everyone keeps throwing me out of everything."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Claire sat down on the floor, her back to the wall, and sighed. She pulled out the bottle of Pepsi she had and took a sip. Steve got up and sat down next to her, she looked over at him and said lazily...
"So, what ya got?"
"Sub-Machine Guns, Pepsi (for those who think young), dental floss, machinegun ammo, a quarter, you?" Steve said as he placed all the items in his pocked on the floor.
"Well," Claire said. "Grenade Launcher, Handgun, handgun ammo, grenade rounds, bowgun, first aid spray, some mixed herbs, bike keys, my John Woo School Of Gravity Defying Moves card, a lock pick, a mint, and other crap." She emptied out all of her pockets, filling up half the cockpit.
"O_o Holy CRAP, you have big pockets."
"Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh." Claire said as she got a distant look on her face. "So, now what?"
"I dunno, I guess I'm gonna go to sleep." Steve said as he stretched his arms and yawned.
"Yeah, me too." She said. She laid her head on Steve's shoulder. "Goodnight Steve."
"Goodnight Claire."
....
....
....
"Steve."
"Yeah?"
"I need to go to the bathroom..."
"Oh god..."
^_^_^_^_^_^_^
What will become of Claire and Steve!? Will Chris ever find his sister!? On a scale of one to ten, what are YOU!? Stay tuned and find out on the next exciting episode of RESIDENT EVIL CODE: VERONICA Y!!!!!!!
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Claire's eyes widened in terror at what stood before her in the cargo bay.
The cargo bay door was wide open, sucking just about everything lightweight out. Tons of paper appeared out of nowhere and flew out of the plane. In the middle of the room stood the Tyrant. Beaten, bloodied, and really pissed off.
"Of course..." Claire muttered. Unfortunately for her, the Tyrant heard. It slowly turned around and looked at her.
"YOU!!!!!!" He yelled as he did the Nemesis pose and shot out his claw like those mechanical spikes in those old Sonic games. (XD!!!)
"Uh...hi. ^^;;" Claire waved nervously. "You're probably mad at me for...killing you...^^;;;;;;;;"
"You bet your candy ass I am!!!!!" The Tyrant screamed, Claire sweatdropped and backed away nervously.
"^_^;;;;;;;; Cant we settle this peacefully?"
"No."
Claire's nervous smile turned into a VERY nervous frown. The Tyrant took a step foreword. Claire took a step back. The Tyrant took another step forward. Claire took another step back. Grinning, the Tyrant took ANOTHER step forward. Claire took a step back and felt her back hit the door.
"Oy crap..."
"Muahaha!"
BEEP!
She turned and looked at the control panel right next to her.
'THE CATAPULT IS READY RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTA USE IT SISTAH BEFORE THAT MONSTER KICKS YOUR SORRY ASS!!!!!!'
Both sweatdropped.
"What the hell's a catapult doing in a plane!?" Claire asked. The Tyrant shrugged and ran towards her, Claire's eyes widened. "AAAHHHH!!!!" She jumped and slammed her fist into the Big Red Button. The catapult, which happened to have a large crate with the words 'Tyrant-Killing-Crate' written on it shot forward.
"Oh crap!" The Tyrant yelled as the crate smashed right into him. The crate, with him with it on it, went sliding across the room at a bazillion miles an hour, towards the open cargo bay door.
"Muahah!" Claire yelled as she started dancing. "Boom baby!" Suddenly the crate stopped and was sent shooting back at her. "AHHH!" She jumped out of the way as it smashed back into the wall. The Tyrant stood right near the door with a proud look on his face.
"Man I'm strong! XD" The Tyrant said as he started flexing and kissing his muscles. Claire raised an eyebrow and pulled out her grenade launcher. "NOOOOO!!!!!!" The Tyrant covered his face and squealed like a little girl, expecting to be hit with another B.O.W. Gas round.
Click! Click!
"DAMNIT!" Claire screamed as she heard the aggravating click of an empty gun. She looked at the monster face, and frantically reached for her bucket- o-grenade rounds.
With a bigass grin on his face, the Tyrant continued to walk towards her at a disturbingly slow pace for a monster. And when I say slow I mean SLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
Suddenly a bright light appeared next to Claire, and Bob the Magical Fairy came out and landed right next to her.
"Bob!?"
Bob shook his head and turned to Claire. "Claire! You've gotta use the bowgun with bowgun powder!"
Claire raised an eyebrow. "But the bowgun sucks ass!"
"Trust me, it's better with the Bowgun Powder."
"Uh..." Claire and Bob looked at the Tyrant. Who was still walking towards them so slowly that he hadn't reached them yet. Claire sweatdropped. "...okay. But if I die I'm gonna kill you!"
"^^;; Time for me to go! See ya!" Before Claire could respond Bob flew passed the Tyrant and out the cargo door.
Claire pulled out the bowgun and loaded it with bowgun powder. Now it became...
Dun dun dun!!!
THE SUPER BOWGUN!!!!!!!!!!!
A magical aura glowed around the weapon, as it suddenly became one of the most kickass weapons in the game. She raised it to her eye level and pulled the trigger. Immediately, about 600 flaming explosive arrows of DEATH shot out and hit the Tyrant. Causing a huge explosion that rocked the whole plane.
"SON OF A BITCH!!!!!" The Tyrant screamed and he was sent flying back. Claire couldn't let go of the trigger! The weapon was firing rapidly like a...rapidly firing gun!!! It uncontrollably send burning explosive arrows of doom flying every direction, until Claire managed to pin the gun to the ground and take her hand off the trigger.
Breathing out a sigh, Claire looked up and stared into the eyes of the Tyrant. She ducked immediately, missing the deadly claw by mere inches as it stabbed into the wall, leaving a bigass hole. She rolled out of the way and dodged another claw attack. She ran up next to the cargo door, turned around, and aimed her bowgun up at the monsters face.
"DIE FOTHER MUCKER!!!" Claire screamed as she once again pulled the trigger. She was sent flying back as the gun fired rapidly, almost falling completely out of the plane! The Tyrant tried to dodge, but failed miserably and 'sploded into flames once again.
"GOD DAMNIT!" He yelled. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT HURTS!?"
"^_^; Nope!"
The Tyrant started limping towards her with a PMSing look on his face. Claire stepped back and pulled the trigger of the bowgun.
Click Click!
"Gosh darn it!!!!" Claire yelled, she looked up to meet the fist of the Tyrant.
POW!!!!
"AHHHH!" Claire flew into the plane wall and hit her head. Any normal person's face would be shattered to a bazillion jillion pieces, but not Claire of course. ^^;;
Dazed, she looked up and jumped out of the way of another downswing attack. It created a huge sound that rocked the whole plane!
BEEP!
Claire turned around and looked near the door that led to the cockpit, the catapult button was glowing.
'THE GODDAMN CATAPULT IS READY NOW SO YOU BETTA PUSH THE DANG BUTTON BEFORE THE GIANT MONSTER KILLS YOU!!!!' the computer voice yelled.
"Damnit stop moving!" The Tyrant yelled right after it. Claire looked straight up to see him starring at her from about, the claw raised above his head. The claw of death...
A bazillion thoughts shot through Claire's head at once, and her old moms voice echoed throughout her head.
FLASHBACK!
Claire's Mom: Now remember pumpkin, when a giant monster is hovering above you and is about to turn you into confetti, always kick him in the balls. Because that's the mans weakspot.
UNFLASHBACK!
Claire's eyes widened and in a quick motion she shot her leg up and kicked the Tyrant where it hurts. A loud squeaking sound was made and the Tyrant grabbed his crotch, his eyes widened.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" He screamed at an incredibly high pitch, which caused the glass in the plane to crack and Claire to cover her ears (Steve, who was listening to Christina Agulara's "Beautiful" blaring over the radio, didn't hear it though).
A grin formed on her lips as she got up, the Tyrant just stood there with a blank look on his face.
"Hiiiiiii-yaaaaaa!" Claire yelled dramatically as she jumped and slammed her fist into the button, falling over in the process. The crate shot forward, smacking right into the Tyrant. Both were sent sliding across the plane, the Tyrant tried to push back, he looked around and stared at the cargo door only a few feet away.
"Oh crap..." The Tyrant muttered. The crate--with him on it--flew right out of the plane and exploded in mid air!
Claire ran up to the cargo door and looked outside, the monster was gone. She beat him!
"I'm sorry, but your flight has been cancelled." She said with a bigass grin. "MUAHAHAHA-WHAA!" she cried as she stumbled and almost fell out of the plane, but she wiggled herself back on and fell on her ass. "Okey, Note: Don't stand near giant open cargo bay door on plane moving a bazillion miles an hour..."
With a proud smile, she turned around and walked back into the cockpit.
Annoying door opening sequence...
Right when she got in, Steve turned around and looked at her, a scarred look on her face. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED!?"
"DAMN I KICK ASS!" Claire yelled, completely ignoring him. Steve sweatdropped as she started dancing like an idiot.
"Yeah I know. ^_^" he said with a big smile. "But I meant what happened?"
"Nothing, just uh...a giant cockroach that had to be stepped on." She said coolly as she walked over to one of the windows.
"Giant cockroaches?" Steve asked. "There were giant cockroaches on that island too?"
Claire sweatdropped, she didn't expect that. "Uh...yeah. ^^;;"
Steve raised an eyebrow. "Jeez..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This talk of giant cockroaches triggered a self destruct system within Sherry's brain.
"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed as she hugged Rebecca tightly and burst into tears. "GIANT COCKROACHES OF EEEEEVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!"
"Um...wha?" everyone asked.
Ada sighed. "RE2. Sewers. Claire A Leon B scenario. X_x Giant cockroaches..."
"Oooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!" everyone said. "...wha?"
Leon, Ada, and Sherry fell over. "NEVERMIND!!!"
"Okay! ^_^" Everyone went back to the TV screen.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Chris screamed as he continued to shoot through the air on the rocket-bike. He was flying like this for a few minutes, and he guessed he'd cleared at LEAST 40 miles by now.
He looked down to see a city way down below. Maybe 400 stories down.
"Oh man..." Chris muttered as he noticed the bike was beginning to descend. "I'm SCREEEEWWWEEED!!!!" The bike suddenly dropped like a ton of bricks down into the city below.
-
"Momma Momma look! A man on a big motorcycle is falling from the sky!" A little boy said as he pointed in the sky.
"Of course dear." His mother said, focusing all of her attention on a sports bra in a store window and not on her son.
"...aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
The whole city block shook as a huge crater appeared in the middle of the street. All the cars screeched to a halt and smoke shot up everywhere.
".....ouch......" Chris muttered as he slowly crawled out of the crater. "...that was not a good idea..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Ewww..." Steve said as he looked down at his still cummy Spongebob Squarepants boxers. "Erm...Claire?"
"Yeah?" Claire asked.
"You wouldn't happen to have anymore tissues would you? ^^;;"
"Nope, sorry." She replied.
"Dang it..."
"But I do have this." Claire said as she pulled out a tampon and placed it in his hand. "Use it wisely."
Steve sweatdropped and nervously stuffed the tampon down his pants. "Thanks."
Beep!
"Ack!" The steering wheel jerked to the right so fast that it sent Steve flipping out of his chair and onto the ground. "Oof!"
"Steve?" Claire asked as she walked up to him. "Are you okay!?"
Steve looked up at her, dazed. "Ye-"
"What the hell happened!?"
The boy slowly stumbled up and sat back in the pilot's chair. He tried to turn the steering wheel back left, but it wouldn't move!
"I don't know!" He said. "The plane just....went into autopilot!"
"NOT AUTOPILOT!!!!" Claire cried as she got in a dramatic pose. "Well, change it back!"
"I caaaaant!" Steve whined. ";_; The controls are locked."
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Claire cried again. "...wait, how in the bloody 'ell did it change to autopilot on its own?"
Boop!
Claire and Steve both looked up at the TV screen in the corner to see Alfred's butt ugly face, which was now smeared with makeup.
"Mmmy apologies! But I cannot let you escape now!" Alfred said as he put on some eyeliner. "Hmhmhmhmhmhm! Mmyes, cant you see? You're never going to escape alive! Mhmhmhmhm! Mmyes! I can make your plane go wherever I want it to go! I can take you to the sun if I wanted to!"
"Planes cant go in space." Steve and Claire said matter of factly.
"Well...I can make you drive right into the ocean if I wanted to! I can do anything I want, because I'M IMPORTANT! Mmyes! On a SCALE of one to ten, YOU'RE the one and I'M the ten! THE TEN! Mmmyes! That's MEE!" He started giggling insanely like a little girl until Claire threw her handgun at the screen, shattering it to pieces.
"GODDAMN CROSS DRESSING FREAK!!!!!!" Claire screamed at the top of her lungs.
Steve bashed his head into the control panel. "Arg! I wanted to go to Hawaii! ;_;"
Claire sighed and sat in the co-pilots chair. "Damnit, now where the hell are we going?"
"Only time will tell..." Steve said as he looked out the window dramatically. "Only time will tell..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I bet you $50 they're going to Spain!" Enrico yelled.
"YOU'RE ON!!!" Barry yelled.
"$20 they're going to Canada!" Richard yelled.
"No way, they're going to Mexico!" yelled Carlos.
"RUSSIA!" yelled Ben.
"JAPAN!" yelled Sherry.
"GREAT BRITAIN!" yelled Ark.
"ITALY!" yelled Billy.
"INDIA!"
"NIGERIA!"
"AUSTRALIA!"
"GERMANY!"
"SOUTH AFRICA!"
"SILENCE!!!!!" Ada screamed at the top of her lungs, everyone stopped and looked at her.
"I don't remember a country called Silence..." Barry said, Jill smacked him over the head. "Ouch!"
"Now come on, stop arguing." Ada said. "They're obviously going to China."
"NO WAY!" everyone screamed. They started arguing again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chris pushed open the double doors of the church and walked in dramatically. The bike had landed only about a block away from a big cathedral; a buncha nuns were prancing around the place doing...whatever nuns do. O_o
He walked further into the cathedral as holy music played in the background; he walked up to a nun and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me ma'am," the nun turned around and shrieked when she saw the gun in his gun holder thingy.
"We do not allow weapons of death here!" she said.
"Weapons of death? Aren't all weapons deadly?"
"Get out! Please, in the name of God!"
"But I need some directions..." Chris said.
"Just go!" she yelled.
"But..."
"Please!"
"Listen to me goddamnit!" he yelled. Everyone in the whole cathedral gasped and looked at him. He looked around nervously. "I mean..."
-
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Chris screamed as he was literally thrown out the front doors of the church and onto the stairs by a group of nuns.
"AND DON'T COME BACK, ASSHOLE!" A nun screamed as they slammed a the double doors.
"Yeah well..." Chris slowly stumbled up. "Your choir sucks!"
With a sigh, he turned around and stumbled down the steps. "Man, everyone keeps throwing me out of everything."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Claire sat down on the floor, her back to the wall, and sighed. She pulled out the bottle of Pepsi she had and took a sip. Steve got up and sat down next to her, she looked over at him and said lazily...
"So, what ya got?"
"Sub-Machine Guns, Pepsi (for those who think young), dental floss, machinegun ammo, a quarter, you?" Steve said as he placed all the items in his pocked on the floor.
"Well," Claire said. "Grenade Launcher, Handgun, handgun ammo, grenade rounds, bowgun, first aid spray, some mixed herbs, bike keys, my John Woo School Of Gravity Defying Moves card, a lock pick, a mint, and other crap." She emptied out all of her pockets, filling up half the cockpit.
"O_o Holy CRAP, you have big pockets."
"Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh." Claire said as she got a distant look on her face. "So, now what?"
"I dunno, I guess I'm gonna go to sleep." Steve said as he stretched his arms and yawned.
"Yeah, me too." She said. She laid her head on Steve's shoulder. "Goodnight Steve."
"Goodnight Claire."
....
....
....
"Steve."
"Yeah?"
"I need to go to the bathroom..."
"Oh god..."
^_^_^_^_^_^_^
What will become of Claire and Steve!? Will Chris ever find his sister!? On a scale of one to ten, what are YOU!? Stay tuned and find out on the next exciting episode of RESIDENT EVIL CODE: VERONICA Y!!!!!!!