A/N: I came up w/ this plot, which is probably why it sucks so bad.
Hi. My name is Lucy, and it's really nice to meet you. What? Oh, get on with it already? Well, fine, excuuuuse me! Nah, just kidding. Well, anyway, here's the story, taken directly from pages of my diary!
Well, today has been a most productive day. Since this is my first entry, just wanna let you know that I have been held captive by a witch for as long as I can remember. I have resided in a high tower since I was 7, locked in. There are no stairs or elevators, unfortunately.
I survived because the witch would bring me food and water. How? Oh, well, simple, really. She'd climb up my hair.
I have really long hair, just so you know, but it really, really, REALLY hurts when somebody is grabbing your hair and dragging their 145 pound body up it!
And she would choose exactly the wrong times to come, too. Whenever I'm painting my nails or giving myself a spa treatment, it's always: "Lucy, Lucy, let down your hair!" In this really croaky, disgusting voice. So, if I wanna eat, I have to let her climb up my newly washed hair and get it all gross and icky again. (Witches don't have sanitation very high on their to- do-lists.)
Well, I had been saving all the cloth she brought me to sew my own clothes, and today I got the final shipment I needed. I had measured very carefully (I know a wee bittie of math), and figured that this would pretty much sum it all up.
So, just as I had finished tying all the cloth, bed-linens, and towels together, I heard this really faint cry of, "Lucy, Lucy, let down your hair!" So, rolling my eyes and really sick of all this hair business, I put down my hair, but grabbed a tomato with my hand, and when the person came up, I smacked it on his face. So, there I was, standing there, a little mortified as I realized that it wasn't the witch. It was actually a prince.
"Oops," I said in a small voice. "Sorry?" "No problem," the prince said with a strained smile. "Anyway," he took a deep breath and said in this dramatic tone, "Lucy, be my wife! Please accept my hand in holy matrimony! Oh, Lucy, be mine?"
And, genius that I was, I said, "What?" So, looking at me disgustedly, he began all over again.
"Why?" I interrupted. "Why what?" the prince asked in confusion. "Why do you want to marry me?" I asked.
"Well-"he fumbled around in his cape, and pulled out a thick book entitled, Fairy Tales for Idiots. "Because it says that I rescue Rapunzel, or in this case Lucy, as my wife from the tower. That's why." "I don't even know you!" I cried out. Sighing, he touched his forehead in exasperation. "Fine, all right, then," he intoned. "I am Prince Edri. You are Princess Lucy. Be mine?"
"You sound like one of those valentine candy hearts," I drawled. "Ooh, I love those!" he exclaimed. My eyes lighting up, I exclaimed, "Me too! I love the white ones!" Edri gagged. "As if," he said. "The purples are so much better."
"We're getting a little off subject here," I noticed. "Right!" he cleared his throat. "Where were we?" "You were telling me why you wanted to marry me," I pointed out. "Oh, right." He cleared his throat again. "Because the book says so. That's why."
"You don't love me then," I said. "Well, not really," he admitted. I shoved him out of the tower, and didn't turn around as I heard his scream-but when he thudded on the ground, I couldn't help but look.
He had landed right in the middle of a bramble bush, and was trying to pick thorns out of his side. I stifled my laughter in my bed.
That image has provided me amusement all day. Anyhow, after he had left, I let down my cloth rope. It took forever for it to actually reach the ground.
So, taking a deep breath, and my cloth sack with all my valuables in it, I climbed out of the tower window, and started inching my way down the rope, trying not to pay attention to the fact that I was several stories high. Literally. I mean, Cinderella, Snow White, and the original Rapunzel story- books were stacked high next to me.
Anyway, I managed to reach the ground with only a few minor injuries, and I ran as hard as I could, dragging my long blonde hair behind me, getting it filthy as expected. I would have pulled it up, but I had left my super- elastic head-bands behind at the tower. (See, normal hair-bands don't hold my hair up; they snap within seconds. My hair's really strong. blush)
And so eventually I found this shelter, which I am entirely grateful for, even though half my hair is still outside getting soaked in the rain.
But oh well. Oh, wait a second! I think I hear something! sigh Well, it's definitely that dratted Prince Edri again, pleading for my hand in marriage. Gimme a break. Hey, he's pulling me out by my hair!
Wait, don't you dare-AH!!!!!
A/N: Well, even though this majorly sucks, I'm having fun writing it!! Please review!
Hi. My name is Lucy, and it's really nice to meet you. What? Oh, get on with it already? Well, fine, excuuuuse me! Nah, just kidding. Well, anyway, here's the story, taken directly from pages of my diary!
Well, today has been a most productive day. Since this is my first entry, just wanna let you know that I have been held captive by a witch for as long as I can remember. I have resided in a high tower since I was 7, locked in. There are no stairs or elevators, unfortunately.
I survived because the witch would bring me food and water. How? Oh, well, simple, really. She'd climb up my hair.
I have really long hair, just so you know, but it really, really, REALLY hurts when somebody is grabbing your hair and dragging their 145 pound body up it!
And she would choose exactly the wrong times to come, too. Whenever I'm painting my nails or giving myself a spa treatment, it's always: "Lucy, Lucy, let down your hair!" In this really croaky, disgusting voice. So, if I wanna eat, I have to let her climb up my newly washed hair and get it all gross and icky again. (Witches don't have sanitation very high on their to- do-lists.)
Well, I had been saving all the cloth she brought me to sew my own clothes, and today I got the final shipment I needed. I had measured very carefully (I know a wee bittie of math), and figured that this would pretty much sum it all up.
So, just as I had finished tying all the cloth, bed-linens, and towels together, I heard this really faint cry of, "Lucy, Lucy, let down your hair!" So, rolling my eyes and really sick of all this hair business, I put down my hair, but grabbed a tomato with my hand, and when the person came up, I smacked it on his face. So, there I was, standing there, a little mortified as I realized that it wasn't the witch. It was actually a prince.
"Oops," I said in a small voice. "Sorry?" "No problem," the prince said with a strained smile. "Anyway," he took a deep breath and said in this dramatic tone, "Lucy, be my wife! Please accept my hand in holy matrimony! Oh, Lucy, be mine?"
And, genius that I was, I said, "What?" So, looking at me disgustedly, he began all over again.
"Why?" I interrupted. "Why what?" the prince asked in confusion. "Why do you want to marry me?" I asked.
"Well-"he fumbled around in his cape, and pulled out a thick book entitled, Fairy Tales for Idiots. "Because it says that I rescue Rapunzel, or in this case Lucy, as my wife from the tower. That's why." "I don't even know you!" I cried out. Sighing, he touched his forehead in exasperation. "Fine, all right, then," he intoned. "I am Prince Edri. You are Princess Lucy. Be mine?"
"You sound like one of those valentine candy hearts," I drawled. "Ooh, I love those!" he exclaimed. My eyes lighting up, I exclaimed, "Me too! I love the white ones!" Edri gagged. "As if," he said. "The purples are so much better."
"We're getting a little off subject here," I noticed. "Right!" he cleared his throat. "Where were we?" "You were telling me why you wanted to marry me," I pointed out. "Oh, right." He cleared his throat again. "Because the book says so. That's why."
"You don't love me then," I said. "Well, not really," he admitted. I shoved him out of the tower, and didn't turn around as I heard his scream-but when he thudded on the ground, I couldn't help but look.
He had landed right in the middle of a bramble bush, and was trying to pick thorns out of his side. I stifled my laughter in my bed.
That image has provided me amusement all day. Anyhow, after he had left, I let down my cloth rope. It took forever for it to actually reach the ground.
So, taking a deep breath, and my cloth sack with all my valuables in it, I climbed out of the tower window, and started inching my way down the rope, trying not to pay attention to the fact that I was several stories high. Literally. I mean, Cinderella, Snow White, and the original Rapunzel story- books were stacked high next to me.
Anyway, I managed to reach the ground with only a few minor injuries, and I ran as hard as I could, dragging my long blonde hair behind me, getting it filthy as expected. I would have pulled it up, but I had left my super- elastic head-bands behind at the tower. (See, normal hair-bands don't hold my hair up; they snap within seconds. My hair's really strong. blush)
And so eventually I found this shelter, which I am entirely grateful for, even though half my hair is still outside getting soaked in the rain.
But oh well. Oh, wait a second! I think I hear something! sigh Well, it's definitely that dratted Prince Edri again, pleading for my hand in marriage. Gimme a break. Hey, he's pulling me out by my hair!
Wait, don't you dare-AH!!!!!
A/N: Well, even though this majorly sucks, I'm having fun writing it!! Please review!