Have you ever experienced a life or death situation? I have, several times. And you know what? Every single time, Edri has something to do with it. Either he's gone clinically insane and starts trying to kill him, or he has temporary fits of insanity and tries to persuade me to marry him. Whenever he tries to convince me how wonderful life would be with us together, I try to run. Whenever I run, I somehow get into trouble. Am I the only one here sensing a pattern?
Anyway, last chapter, I was screaming obscenities at qwi13 for making my life and story so miserable. Okay, well, let's start the story again...
"Qwi13!" I screamed into the night sky as I ran. "I swear, I am going to kill you! Someday, somehow, I will kill you for my suffering!" "My darling!" came the distant cry of "Prince" Edri from behind me. He was panting for breath and groaning, probably because he couldn't run in those fancy knickerbockers he calls pants.
"You know you love me!" Edri screamed at me. I resisted the urge to yell back, "Ha! You wish!" I was trying to preserve my energy and breath for as long as I could. I ducked behind a cottage and hastily pulled my hair in after me.
I waited for about ten minutes until Edri finally clomped on by, screaming into the empty woods about his divine love for me. Then, I allowed myself to relax. The next morning, after a restless night, I knocked on the cottage door and a grungy looking woman opened it.
"Um, hi," I said, looking her over. "Whaddya want?" she growled at me. "Well, see, I've been kind of lost, and I was getting kinda hungry, so if you have any food you could spare, that'd be great," I said, all in one breath.
"Get in," she growled, thrusting the door open wider. "Thank you," I said as I stepped inside. The woman closed the door on my hair. "Ow!" I squealed, and yanked the door open as I pulled the rest of it in. My hair filled half of the cabin.
"Sorry if it gets dirty," the woman said, trying to find a clear patch of wood to step on without slipping in my wet hair. "Oh, you can just step on it," I said. "No problem." I instantly regretted it as pain came tingling through to my head. Nevertheless, I kept my mouth shut.
"Me and Jack don't have much," the woman said. "All we have really is some milk and cheese." "Oh, that would be fine," I said, suddenly very grateful to this strange lady. "As long as it's not cow cheese. I only eat goat cheese." "Sorry, lady," the woman grunted as she leaned over the fireplace. "Only got a cow, and Jack sold her yesterday. Would you believe the stupid lad sold her for five, supposedly "magic" beans?" She shook her head sadly. "Why was I cursed with a stupid son?"
I suddenly had a very funny feeling. "Jack?" I asked in a squeaky voice. "Magic beans?" "Yeah," the woman answered, and thrust a wooden cup and a slab of cheese into my hands. "Dig in," she said.
I smiled weakly, and eyed the cow cheese with mild disgust. Oh, well, there's a first time for everything, I thought, and hesitantly bit into it. It was delicious.
I quickly ate the cheese and drank the milk, and even though I was still hungry, I excused myself from the table, and ran outside to the other side of the cabin-and looked up.
Sure enough, there was the trouble-making beanstalk. I looked around, shrugged, and started climbing. I had just started to change my mind because my hair was continually being caught when I decided that climbing wasn't so bad after all.
What changed my mind? A certain annoying prince who acted more like a spoiled brat who always wanted everything his way had just run up and was calling to me, "Oh, my dearest Princess Lucy! Do not climb up there! You wilst die!" Then he dropped the fancy speech and screamed, "Lucy! Lucy!" When I didn't answer, and kept climbing he yelled up, "Well, fine! But when your bones are crushed into bread by that giant, don't come running to me!" I laughed at him. "Have I ever come running to you?" I called down to him. He was silent for a while, so I laughed again and kept climbing.
After a while, I began to get the hang of it, and I was climbing faster than anybody on earth could, I was sure. I even saw a faint outline of a boy climbing up as well. "Yo! Jack!" I yelled. The figure stopped climbing and looked down in astonishment as I scaled my way up to him and perched atop a branch and looked down at him with a smile. "Heya," I grinned. Jack, a small boy for his age, had curly brown hair, freckles, and chocolate brown eyes that right now looked very shocked.
"You're not supposed to be in this story!" he whispered. "Why are you whispering?" I whispered to him. "I'm not sure, actually," Jack replied, his eyes darting around nervously. "Anyway, you're not supposed to be in this story!" "Tell that to the editor of the book," I replied. "She apparently thinks it's hilarious."
"Oh." Jack nodded. "Well, shall we press on?" I said in a British accent. "Uh-huh," Jack agreed, and we continued to climb up the beanstalk, up, up, to the clouds.
A/N: Sorry it took so long to update, not like anybody's actually READING, since there are NO REVIEWS.
Anyway, last chapter, I was screaming obscenities at qwi13 for making my life and story so miserable. Okay, well, let's start the story again...
"Qwi13!" I screamed into the night sky as I ran. "I swear, I am going to kill you! Someday, somehow, I will kill you for my suffering!" "My darling!" came the distant cry of "Prince" Edri from behind me. He was panting for breath and groaning, probably because he couldn't run in those fancy knickerbockers he calls pants.
"You know you love me!" Edri screamed at me. I resisted the urge to yell back, "Ha! You wish!" I was trying to preserve my energy and breath for as long as I could. I ducked behind a cottage and hastily pulled my hair in after me.
I waited for about ten minutes until Edri finally clomped on by, screaming into the empty woods about his divine love for me. Then, I allowed myself to relax. The next morning, after a restless night, I knocked on the cottage door and a grungy looking woman opened it.
"Um, hi," I said, looking her over. "Whaddya want?" she growled at me. "Well, see, I've been kind of lost, and I was getting kinda hungry, so if you have any food you could spare, that'd be great," I said, all in one breath.
"Get in," she growled, thrusting the door open wider. "Thank you," I said as I stepped inside. The woman closed the door on my hair. "Ow!" I squealed, and yanked the door open as I pulled the rest of it in. My hair filled half of the cabin.
"Sorry if it gets dirty," the woman said, trying to find a clear patch of wood to step on without slipping in my wet hair. "Oh, you can just step on it," I said. "No problem." I instantly regretted it as pain came tingling through to my head. Nevertheless, I kept my mouth shut.
"Me and Jack don't have much," the woman said. "All we have really is some milk and cheese." "Oh, that would be fine," I said, suddenly very grateful to this strange lady. "As long as it's not cow cheese. I only eat goat cheese." "Sorry, lady," the woman grunted as she leaned over the fireplace. "Only got a cow, and Jack sold her yesterday. Would you believe the stupid lad sold her for five, supposedly "magic" beans?" She shook her head sadly. "Why was I cursed with a stupid son?"
I suddenly had a very funny feeling. "Jack?" I asked in a squeaky voice. "Magic beans?" "Yeah," the woman answered, and thrust a wooden cup and a slab of cheese into my hands. "Dig in," she said.
I smiled weakly, and eyed the cow cheese with mild disgust. Oh, well, there's a first time for everything, I thought, and hesitantly bit into it. It was delicious.
I quickly ate the cheese and drank the milk, and even though I was still hungry, I excused myself from the table, and ran outside to the other side of the cabin-and looked up.
Sure enough, there was the trouble-making beanstalk. I looked around, shrugged, and started climbing. I had just started to change my mind because my hair was continually being caught when I decided that climbing wasn't so bad after all.
What changed my mind? A certain annoying prince who acted more like a spoiled brat who always wanted everything his way had just run up and was calling to me, "Oh, my dearest Princess Lucy! Do not climb up there! You wilst die!" Then he dropped the fancy speech and screamed, "Lucy! Lucy!" When I didn't answer, and kept climbing he yelled up, "Well, fine! But when your bones are crushed into bread by that giant, don't come running to me!" I laughed at him. "Have I ever come running to you?" I called down to him. He was silent for a while, so I laughed again and kept climbing.
After a while, I began to get the hang of it, and I was climbing faster than anybody on earth could, I was sure. I even saw a faint outline of a boy climbing up as well. "Yo! Jack!" I yelled. The figure stopped climbing and looked down in astonishment as I scaled my way up to him and perched atop a branch and looked down at him with a smile. "Heya," I grinned. Jack, a small boy for his age, had curly brown hair, freckles, and chocolate brown eyes that right now looked very shocked.
"You're not supposed to be in this story!" he whispered. "Why are you whispering?" I whispered to him. "I'm not sure, actually," Jack replied, his eyes darting around nervously. "Anyway, you're not supposed to be in this story!" "Tell that to the editor of the book," I replied. "She apparently thinks it's hilarious."
"Oh." Jack nodded. "Well, shall we press on?" I said in a British accent. "Uh-huh," Jack agreed, and we continued to climb up the beanstalk, up, up, to the clouds.
A/N: Sorry it took so long to update, not like anybody's actually READING, since there are NO REVIEWS.