A/N: I am learning to play the trumpet. I got an old one that needs some work, but plays okay. I've been practicing every day and teaching myself, and my lip is so swollen I can barely talk. So I have nothing to do but type. Here you go.

Chapter Eighteen: La Vie de Espionade

'Mr. Billy Flynn is cordially invited to the annual celebration of the May at the home of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. Dinner will be served promptly at eight, dress formal. R.S.V.P.'

"Wow. Your drag persona is a socialite."

"Severus, you bastard!" Cass, Bill, and Snape were sharing a compartment on the train to London with the Muggle Studies field trip. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Find a tuxedo, obviously."

"You bastard!"

"You've said that already."

"I can't pass myself off as a guy for an entire night, let alone surrounded by Death Eaters!"

"It won't be Death Eaters, Cassandra. The celebration of the May is Lucius' guarantee that he isn't suspected. Fudge will be there and three-quarters of the Ministry. I believe Narcissa invited the Weasleys as well this year, just to make certain, what with Voldemort's being back and all."

"Oh, that's just splendid! All I need is Ron and Ginny noticing the pointed and obvious fact that I'm a freakin' female!"

"Not Ron and Virginia, Arthur and Molly. I think Bill was asked as well?"

The redhaired professor nodded.

"Yeah. I don't know if I'm going yet. Explain something, though, who is Billy Flynn?"

"Me," Cass remarked dryly. "Sevvy, you explain."

"Cassandra needed to intimidate Lucius Malfoy, so I lent her some of my clothes and got her all tarted up as a man."

"Cass, really? I never knew." Bill grinned.

"Oh, stuff it. I can't very well refuse, can I, what with humiliating him in the pub and all?"

"No," Snape said bluntly. "But I have an idea as to how you can pass for a guy. Bring a date."

"A date? Where in hell am I going to find a date?"

"Well, you could dress your husband up," Bill suggested, as John reappeared with a bucket of ice and some drinks.

"Tell me I didn't hear that," the redhaired werewolf said, looking a little scared.

"No way. John makes an ugly chick."

"How do you know?" John asked, looking at his wife in surprise.

"That fraternity prank. I was in the back."

"I thought I looked fairly good."

"If you had borrowed my sparkly blue one instead of the black, it would have gone better."

"Okay, I don't even want to know about that," Snape shuddered. "I myself would suggest an actual girl to go."

"What do you mean, an actual girl?" Cass looked offended.

"I mean a girl who's pretending to be the date of the boy you're pretending to be."

"Oh. Why didn't you just say Ginny?" Bill asked. "She could do it."

"Naw, too young." Cass frowned. "Billy Flynn's got a beard. Ginny looks at the most sixteen."

"How about Professor Trelawney?" Bill suggested next.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an 'eccch.'"

"I bet Hermione could pull it off," John mused. "She's been such a great sport about all of this."

"All of what?" Bill asked. Cass quickly spoke to cover for Sevvy.

"You know, werewolves teaching classes, recreational nudism, all of it."

"When was there recreational nudism?" Severus asked.

"In the –oh, wait. That was just us two. Sorry." Cass waved it off airily and John looked a little red. "We were playing tag and things got a bit silly."

"Spare me."

"I don't think the first-years were damaged for life."

"Cassandra, must you?"

"What?"

"There is a truly awful mental picture in my mind right now."

"Shake your head really hard and think about Quidditch."

"Seriously, I think Hermione'd be fabulous," John said. "I know just the charms to make her a bit older-looking, and she can wear the 1920's dress."

"Does she have the build for that?" Bill asked. "I've seen a dress of my grandmother's and in the twenties, women were –uh..."

"Light as a feather an' flat as a board?" Cass asked.

"Yeah."

"Flat as a board, easy to nail," the female werewolf continued, giving John a nudge in the ribs. "Isn't that how the saying goes?"

Severus began to choke and John politely thumped him on the back.

"Don't worry, mate. Cassie'll be the only one trying to hide natural gifts."

"I don't think I like that idea any more than recreational nudism."

"Poor professor. You really like your Potions assistant, don't you?" Bill asked obliviously. It was then Cass' turn to require a thump on the back. "Were you invited as well?"

"Yes," Severus replied shortly.

"Who do you want to invite?"

"I don't know. I think I'll go alone."

"We could go stag together, then, if you want. I don't know anyone but Ginny who's not busy."

"Thanks, Bill. I think that would be good."

"It would sure throw Lucy Malfoy off," Cass agreed in her Billy Flynn accent. The other professors stared at her. "What? I've got to practice, right?"

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"Gaaaah!"

"Calm down, Draco, it's only a mixer." Hermione turned the appliance off. They were in groups of four, exploring a Muggle department store. Ron and Harry sniggered.

"What's so funny?" Draco asked, moving toward Ron. "I didn't see you touching that thing when it went off."

"Calm down, laddies," John interjected, coming from behind a teapot display. "Something fascinating about toasters, is they never heat bagels the way I like. A good toasting charm's better for them. But for cinnamon toast, you need one of these." The tall American pushed down the lever on a trim pop-up toaster, revealing a small star on his forearm. Draco went ashen.

"Er- excuse me." He moved to walk away and John stopped him.

"Like my star?" he asked, pointing to the five-pointed pentacle.

"Er- yes, sir."

"I'm a werewolf, by the way. One of the Jamestown Tylers. You being a Malfoy, you've likely heard of us." Draco nodded, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I'm just as pureblooded as you, if not more so, and I get along quite well with Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley here. Think about it."

Draco looked at the tall man suspiciously and then slowly nodded. John grinned and handed him a spaghetti spoon. "Don't these things look silly?"

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"Say, 'Mione, want to go out with me?" Cass asked as they were washing their hands in the girls' room at Harrod's.

"Huh?" Hermione was surprised. "Like, a 'day with the girls' kind of thing?"

"Naw. I need a date for the Malfoys' ball."

"What?"

"I've got to pass myself off as male. I need a date or somebody'll definitely catch me."

"You're going to do Billy Flynn again?"

"Not do him, be him. You've got a crazy mind."

"I've got a crazy mind? You're going to walk into Malfoy Manor in full, electric, larger-than-life Las Vegas drag, and you want me to go along!"

"Not in drag, though. John found you a lovely dress."

"John found the dress? You let your husband shop?"

"No, he sewed the dress. I can't sew to save my life."

Hermione looked a little confused.

"Cass, something is not correct when you're that good in drag and your husband sews."

"Are you suggesting we're reverse-homosexuals? I don't think that's even possible."

"Well, it's a bit screwy, but alright, I'll go." Hermione smiled. "It sounds sort of devious."

"Devious? Hell, we're the diversion for Sevvy to work his secret spy magic." Cass purred. "And John'll be helping, too. Sexy spies."

"What's John doing?"

"Sniffin'. Turns into a wolf, acts like Sevvy's sniffy dog."

"Bloodhound?"

"Yeah."

"Cool." Hermione seemed intrigued with this idea. "And we have to distract the Malfoys how?"

"I think perhaps some clever swing-dancing."

"Do you know how to dance?"

"Sort of. I did read a book on it once." Cass grinned haplessly and Hermione frowned at her. "But John and Sevvy said they'll teach us starting tonight."

"And what happens if we get caught?"

"I don't know... pretend to be Las Vegas lesbians?"

"Er..."

"Or then again, maybe not."

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