whistles man that's a heap of reviews for a stupid story LOL
thankz heaps to the people who reviewed (you didn't have to but it was nice to get a confidence boost once in a while)
yeah I noticed that I tend to use 'I' a lot
LOL
buh that's meeh and personally I can't fix it (well I prolly can buh me too lazy to try)
It's basically PWP- plot? What Plot? So I have no idea what the hell I am riting, just whatever comes into my head….
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter (the fabulous J.K Rowling is the mastermind behind that)
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Title- The Desire to Love
Chapter 2
Reasons and excuses
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The arrogance is hard to get rid of as I found out a couple of days ago when I tried talking to myself in the mirror. Blaise now thinks that I am weird and is staying as far away from me as possible.
Or so I thought until he gave me the 'eye'
I think I'll be the one staying confined to the four walls of my room. At least then I can practise being nice, which requires a lot of work if I do say so myself.
16 years spent learning how to hate and here I am taking the 30 minute test to 'being nice', I am starting to think that this is impossible.
I guess it was thinking about a certain green eyed Gryffindor which gave me the ability to learn at the speed of light, but I still hadn't gotten rid of that anger filled arrogance, it just keeps popping up in the worst case scenarios.
For example, I have this head gear which acts as a virtual reality game except I don't get to choose what happens. My virtue reality however, does contain my one and only opponent of the year and I get to choose two other people to appear in it.
So far it turned out good and I had a chat with Virtue Harry and he actually liked me, then it turned ugly.
Virtue Blaise turned up and started his own conversation with me and Virtue Harry, then somehow, he managed to end up snogging that green eyed freak.
And let me say, that mental image is not helping my junior year recovery…
After about three tries I gave up and settled for the mirror and as I said earlier, Blaise caught me talking to my reflection whom I was pretending was Potter in case I ever run into the twit but unfortunately my fellow Slytherin thinks I am a narcissist.
Which I am NOT just to clear that up… but I guess I am pretty good looking for a Slytherin, I mean, I look better than Goyle and Crabbe and maybe Blaise as well.
Anyways, the point is that I have to get an interview with Potter without him thinking that I have gone mad, but the fact that I can't do this without him thinking that is in effect…………. impossible.
Although there have been people going off to different houses to admit their secrets and etc, I am not one to go off and spill the beans on Potter about me wanting to write a book on him. Sure, there are the Slytherins' that have apologised for all the harm we caused them all these years and the other houses have forgiven them.
I sent letters instead of face to face talk, I wouldn't even have sent them if my mother hadn't told me to 'play nicely now' and me being the great Malfoy I am, ain't going to put my mother through anymore stress.
Aren't I nice?
What's the point of even being nice anymore?
When I look in the mirror, all I see is the same person that I have always been since the start of my years here…..
Still, I guess practise does make perfect!
It was at that moment that my owl had come to the window to deliver a letter (and probably smirk at me too, he knew immediately that I was talking to the mirror) I looked at the large envelope that bore a message on the front saying From everyone.
It didn't look very safe to open but I did anyway, I really couldn't be bothered to cast a protection spell.
I ripped open the top with my letter opener and there were little bits and pieces of paper in them that had little messages written on them, I tipped them onto the bed to check them out and picked one out.
You're forgiven- Neville Longbottom
I didn't get it, so I picked another one out.
Yes I do admit that you have caused us all a great amount of trouble this year but since you are being so sincere about all of this, I will forgive you for all the havoc you put us through but not for the time you called me a 'Mudblood' even though you did apologise for that as well…you really hurt my feelings- Hermione Granger
Why do they all say 'you are forgiven'? I rummaged through the rest of the papers and most of them said the exact same message that Longbottom had written, it was like fanmail except for the fact that it was 'forgiven' mail.
I shook my head as I ticked off the names remembering that I did send out apologies, I also noticed that some came from my own house which was weird since I don't remember sending any of the Slytherins apologies.
So far, as I went through them, Granger's had been the longest reply and not really the warmest one. I particularly like Weasly's one which said:
You are forgiven but I still hate you Malfoy! - Ron Weasly
I threw the ones that I read away, by the time I was through with all of them I was beat, the reason why I decided to go through all of them was because I was searching for one person's in particular.
And their name did not appear in the smaller bits of paper.
Well at least not in this particular envelope…
My owl ended up returning with a brown envelope with from Harry Potter written in an untidy scrawl of black ink.
I think my heart jumped a bit.
I opened the envelope and there was a rather long letter (well compared to the 'forgiven messages') folded neatly in it and this is what it said:
Dear Malfoy
I appreciate the fact that you decided to apologise for all the years of taunting you gave me and my friends, and strictly speaking, the crude remarks about family.
Though I don't understand what your problem is, why do you find pleasure in teasing others? Answer me that…… I know that your Father has been put in Azkaban but why do you have to be constantly looking as if you hate everyone?
Apart from the fact that I have forgiven you (yes I know, as bizarre as that may sound) I was wondering whether……
Never mind, I forgive you…
From H.J.Potter
Well at least I know now that he accepts the apology, what I don't know is why he scratched out that bit about 'wondering' and since that concerned me, I had the right to pester him for answers.
I sat myself down at the large desk and grabbed a quill and parchment from my drawers and started to write a response.
Dear Potter
I have received your letter and need to have a few things sought out.
Though I am grateful that you have accepted my apology I would like to know what you are 'wondering' about me, as you didn't clearly scratch those words out.
A pointer in writing letters, make sure all words are illegible if you don't want others to know…
The reason I look like I hate everyone is because I DO hate everyone, or has that concept not passed your mind?
And for the record Potter, I do not find joy in teasing others, just you because you amuse me when you are pissed off.
From D.L.Malfoy
I think that should do it, I folded the letter and shoved it into a black envelope sealing it with a silver wax stamp that embossed a snake and my initials onto it.
I gave it to my owl with a treat, it gave me a long stare before taking off again, I knew that I shouldn't have taught the damn bird to smirk, now it just scares me whenever I do something that I shouldn't be doing.
When my desk was clear of any evidence that I had written a letter, I took Potters letter and opened the last drawer in my desk, I muttered an old Malfoy spell that my Mother and Father made up together and the bottom of the drawer popped open revealing my stash of secret belongings.
There was my photo album of my Mother and Father when they had first started to date, a book of poems written by a muggle (even though it was a Muggle, the poems were impeccably perfect), a silver dragon ring wrapped in a black silk bag, and my invisibility cloak that bore my name in silver stitching (it was passed down from generation to generation)
I placed Potter's letter in with my possessions and muttered the concealing spell and closed the drawer.
I took out a book from underneath the stack of parchments and began to write in it with the notes that I scribbled down in my journal.
Chapter one- Something noticed
It is noted that Harry Potter is a rather attentive boy when it comes to noticing the smaller details in life, but when it comes to major change, he is the most oblivious boy of all.
When girls go crazy over him, he is worrying about Quidditch. When the papers write personal yet informative fiction about him, he is throwing people who mess with his facial features onto the roof.
His eyes show plenty emotion, they are discerned to turn a dark emerald when he is distressed and a bright jade when he is joyous. He doesn't approve of staring from people as it makes him feel quite uncomfortable but short glances from large groups of people makes him feel fine.
Harry is known to hang around with Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasly in his additional time but most of the time he can be found alone under the large Sycamore located near the lake reading or daydreaming. What he thinks about is beyond anyone's predictions and can only be found out if asked by the boy, but he hardly confides about his thoughts to others.
I think I have lost most of my vocabulary as I read what I wrote, I can see that I definitely need an editor to figure out whether or not I have put phrases in the wrong place.
I close the book after I rip out the page of what I have written and shove it deep into the pockets of my robes, this is definitely not going to be the first chapter to my book but it would be along the lines of it.
I check the time and figure that it is about time to go down to dinner and take more thought into what is to be written and what is to be noted…. I think I am good at noting yet not really good at putting them into words and this is what annoys me the most.
As I think, I walk out of the dorm to the great hall, with information about Potter flying about through my head…. There was one thing in particular that got me wrenched out of the thoughts and that was Potters voice.
I heard it as I started to round a corner but I stopped when I heard who was talking against the wall.
"I don't know Ron, I just can't figure it out" said the distressed voice of Harry, I heard him sigh in frustration.
"B…but how long have you known for?" a squeak of a voice told me that it was the red-headed weasel talking and he didn't seem very impressed about what Harry had told him, but the point was, What had Harry told him??
"I don't know, it just struck me….. you don't hate me do you?" Harry's meek voice asked, this was definitely something that had to be looked into further as I heard that sentence.
"No of course not Harry, I wouldn't hate you for something like that! It's just a bit weird you know…" Ron sounded like he was constipated but that's how he always sounds in my mind.
"So you don't mind?"
Don't mind WHAT???????
"Hell no Harry, have you told Hermione yet?" there's that whiny voice again, I want to know WHAT they are talking about!!!
"no…. not yet, I'll tell her later"
I think I am going to pass out from not knowing what is going on, the one thing that a Malfoy cannot take would be suspense.
"Don't fret too much Harry okay? People won't see you differently……. Let's go eat dinner now" Ron said in a truthful way as I heard them walk away, it almost made me sick, they were talking like kids for crying out loud. It was the WHAT that I wanted to know.
I want to cry out of frustration.
My main mission for the week is to find out what is wrong with Harry Potter and write it down into my journal..
And this calls for my trusty invisibility cloak.
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well theres the next chappie
I hope that yooh guys like it……… =P cos I cant really think of much these days
Please review anyhow -
grin