This Brilliant Dance

A/N: Sequel tis.

Chapter 10: Nothing Better a.k.a. May the Shit Hitteth the Fan

Disclaimer: FINALLY! I GET TO USE A POSTAL SERVICE SONG! 'Nothing Better' rights to The Postal Service. Song choice chosen VERY carefully and picked mostly because it itself is in two different point of views. I heart it. 'Degrassi' rights to CTV and Epitome pictures.

'Stalking' is the term generally used for what I'm doing right now. The parents are on a trip to B.C., most likely imbibing a lot of alcohol and, in general, trying to drink away their life and son that they left on damn Degrassi Street. Unfortunately for them, they also left car keys to my mom's Passat. So, I climbed behind the wheel and took off.

It's not like anyone will care if I'm caught. It's not like anyone will know enough to catch me. So, I drive. I drive to her house, and I see her leaving. So, I follow. A safe distance behind, making turns a good 30 seconds after her. "JT, we need some time apart," she said. "I still love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you, always. My family's just on my ass more and more, and sometimes I feel like I can't be the great girlfriend you deserve. Give me a little time and a little space, and I swear we can try again."

I didn't argue because I'm too emotionally drained to argue. I smiled weakly and walked out of her house, but not out of her life. I watch her when she thinks she's alone, and I find myself being more of a recluse, wondering always where she is and who she's with. Thus the stalking. I watch her car pull into the one driveway I would give my left leg to never see again. I pass by a few times, slowly, finally seeing her go inside.

Ashley walks into the parentless sex pad of Sean Cameron. I cringe at the thought. Not my Ashley. Not my baby. She would never be with him, not even if they were the last people on earth. Right? Right?

I park in an empty lot caddy corner to his house and watch. Lights are turned on, only to be turned off minutes later. I sit and watch, the music flowing gently in and out of my ears, but I don't pay it any mind. I imagine all the things she's doing with him. Are they the same that she does with me? Does she even care that I'm waiting for her? I'm waiting, and she's with Sean.

I feel the tear wet my cheek, but I don't will it to be there. I don't want to cry over this, but my body decides it should. I feel more and more tears come, like a river. I've never cried like this. Not by myself. I let myself cry with Ashley because she understood. Didn't she understand? She did. Now she doesn't. She's changed in a few short weeks. Is this a side effect of her meds? She'll change back eventually, and I'll be here.

My body forces sleep, but I don't give up without a fight. Slowly, I drift off and am suddenly jerked awake by the sound of my own horn. My face flushes as I realize what I've done, and I finally turn on the car and leave.

...It takes four days and fourteen hours to work up the nerve to knock on her door. Toby ushers me inside and lays me down, scared for my life. I must look a little ragtag; I haven't noticed. He covers me in blankets, and my body finally registers temperature, telling me how cold I am. I haven't eaten in these four days, and I guess I look a little malnourished. I still don't see why Toby's making such a big deal out of it. I don't hear him call Ashley, but she runs down and kneels next to me in a hurry, so he must've told her. She kisses my hand and my arm but not my lips. I cannot eat unless I can taste a kiss from you, Ashley, darling, love. I feel a stick go into my mouth, then it's pulled out, and Toby reads a number. Ashley starts to wail. Stop wailing, I want to tell her, but my mouth is stuck shut. Ashley reaches out and pets my head. Sticks and leaves from when I slept outside their house are pushed into my skull. My body cries out in pain, but I don't cry out audibly. I just keep staring. I don't want saved. I want Ashley to carry me up to her room and make love to me like we have before. I want to swap souls with her and live in her immortal body. Am I dreaming, or did my toe just fall off? Well, that's crazy talk. My toe didn't just fall off. Right? Right? I feel Ashley's arm wrap around me in her feeble attempt to warm me. I know that even our inevitable soul swapping couldn't warm me up now. I haven't ever been this cold. It's a cold that gnaws into your bones and you can feel icicles begin to burrow in the spots between where there are cells. I guess that's what sleeping outside in the middle of December will do for you. Suddenly, distant sirens are heard, and I realize that Toby, in his most vicious act of backstabbing ever, has called 9-1-1. He's trying to take me away from Ashley! I'll never be warm if you do that! I'll never be back to normal! You're taking me away! Why? Help! I force my mouth to become unstuck. "No," I say weakly as the EMT lifts me up. "No," I say weakly as they rest me on a stretcher. "No," I say weakly as they lift me into the ambulance. But I have one shred of hope left. Before I pass out cold, I look around and realize Ashley's in the ambulance with me. I gather my strength and manage a smile, but that small act has tired me out. I wish I was in her body now, able to have the strength to smile with my teeth. She's still holding on to my hand, but I barely realize this since I cannot feel my hands. The room suddenly starts to spin, and I try to focus on Ashley. That works for a little while, but as the tubes and needles penetrate my skin, I feel my vision lose the war. I let my eyes close, and I let myself sleep. It'll be all better when I wake up. I'll be in her body when I wake up. It'll all be better.

"Would someone please call a surgeon,
who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart,
that you're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over,
and I will block the door
like a goalie tending the net
in the third quarter
of a tied game rivalry."

"JT, wake up!" I cry, but it's no use. He's lifeless on my couch. Not totally lifeless, since I can still detect a faint pulse. I'm shaking and screaming but nothing is making his eyes even flutter. "Toby, call an ambulance!" I cry. He mumbles something, and I see him disappear. I hold JT, hoping for any sign that he's still with us.

I have nothing to do, so I slowly pick out the leaves and sticks from his hair. I feel blood on my fingers a few times, but I wipe it on the back of my jeans and continue. When will the ambulance come? When will he wake up?

And all the while, my guilty conscience is screaming at the top of its lungs at me. LOOK WHAT YOU DID. YOU AND YOUR DAMN LIES. YOU AND SEAN. YOU. YOU. HE'S DYING AND IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOU FUCKED SOMEONE ELSE WHILE HE LOVED YOU. HE DID NOTHING WRONG. ALL HE DID WAS LOVE YOU. AND NOW HE'S DYING AND THERE'S NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOU. AND YOU KNOW IT.

The tears are coming stronger and faster. "JT!" I yell louder and louder. His eyes are open, but there's no other sign that he's alive. Even his eyes look lifeless. We both hear the sirens in the distance, and his eyes that looked so lifeless before, turn even colder.

They run into the house, and so many people order me back that I knock over the coffee table jumping up. I see his lips move and finally form the word "no." Please, let them help you. I can't help you. I can't do anything. I'm such an awful person. A man grabs me by the arm since I must be gawking and leads me outside. I see mouths move, but I can't hear a thing. Except, every once in a while, the word "no" coming from his lips. A man looks determined to get a message across to me, so I block out the rest of the world to try to listen. I still can't hear him, so I nod. He shoves me into the back of the ambulance right before the doors slam shut.

I grab on to his hand and try to avoid the men trying to resuscitate him. I stare into his huge brown eyes. Everything around us is fuzzy, but we're not. We're here and we're together. Then I see him slowly drift away.

They come to a crashing stop in front of the door to the ER. The men push past me and get JT out on his stretcher. I chase after them all the way to the door of the operating room, where a rather large nurse stops me. "Can't go in there," she says.

"But... but... I have to! I did that to him!" I cry. Doesn't she understand? She gives me a questioning look and turns around to see what's been done to him. She shakes her head slowly.

"No one did that to him," she says quietly, leading me by the arm out to the waiting room. "It's not your fault." She doesn't understand, she's too ungodly stupid. She sits me on an uncomfortable couch. I immediately contort my body into the fetal position in a corner. I stare at the walls, thinking that someone will come talk to me soon. Where is Toby? Where's Kate and Jeff? Where are JT's parents? I stare down the hall where I know he is. I need to be with him. Damn that nurse. Damn her to hell.

"LET ME GO SEE HIM!" I scream. She looks up and shakes her head. "Please, I'll, I'll do anything." She smiles sweetly, too sweet a look to give to an attempted murderer, and she shakes her head again. I silently curse her again.

I don't know what time it is. 2? 3? All I know is that I was asleep when Toby screamed my name, and it was dark when I went outside. I don't think I'm tired, but my body is closing my eyes. I'm either tired or bored, and my brain only has one thing it wants to do. But I can't sleep. I'll never sleep. Never again. Not after what I did to him. I BROKE HIM.

She brings me a blanket and covers my entire body. I didn't realize that I was shaking from the cold. I look into her eyes and see sympathy. I shouldn't. I should see hate. Did you see that boy in there? I DID THAT TO HIM. IT IS MY FAULT. STOP TELLING ME OTHERWISE.

Finally, I decide to let my body win. I look around again, still expecting to see a familiar face, but no one is here. I don't know why. He's dying. Doesn't anyone care? And then the room goes black.

"So just say how to make it right,
and I swear I'll do my best to comply."

"Emma," I whisper into the nothingness of my garage. A soft breeze answers me. How could I have been so blind? I need to see her.

I pull off the blankets and scan over my outfit. I was wrinkled and mismatched. An all around mess. But I decide to go like this so I won't risk an encounter with Joey.

I find myself at her house in the dead of night, knocking lightly at her basement window. Knock knock pause knock knock. Finally, I see a light turn on. She opens the window for me and lets me in. After I climb in, I feel the silence settle like a burden on my shoulders. I open my mouth to let the air out. My heart beats faster and faster waiting for her to speak. It becomes painfully obvious in the next few seconds as I realize she's giving me the silent treatment. Looks are exchanged.

"Emma, I..." I start, but I don't know what to say. I don't know how to apologize. I guess I've never been good at that. I suck in air. "I'm sorry. I guess... I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm in love with you, and I'm scared of this feeling. I'm scared that I might lose you, or you might wake up next to me and see me for who I am. And I'm scared you might finally see how much better than me you are. I'm scared you'll leave."

Her expression softens. "You'll always have me, Craig," she whispers. "Always. I love you. I don't remember a time where I didn't love you." Her arms around me is the most comforting feeling in the world. I smile and tilt my head back, breathing in every ounce of her being. I take her to her bed and lay her down.

I crawl into bed behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. I can feel her shivering, so I squeeze harder. I hear her breathing soundly. That's when I realize it. I realize that I could never hurt Em, that I want to be with her forever. Forever's such a huge word when you're such a young kid. However, forever is what I feel. And I have the general consensus of my gut that this time, forever will happen.

"Tell me, am I right to think that there could be nothing better,
than making you my bride and slowly growing old together?"

She comes to my house in tears and immediately I spot the dreaded suitcase. "It's not, it's not for forever," she says, and my sigh of relief is audible. I then see the tears coming down her face hard, and I feel a pang of guilt in my stomach.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

She nods. She doesn't have the strength to fight me, I can tell. She walks straight into my room and collapses onto my bed. "He... he had a breakdown," she says, the sobs choking her up a bit.

"JT?" I ask.

"Yea," she answers.

I sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands. "That sucks." I glance back at her and notice the faded string still on her ring finger. "Are you ever gonna take that off?" I ask.

She glances at where I'm looking and then lets her gaze rest on the ceiling again. "I don't know," she answers, and I feel my anger building. "Sean, I broke him. You didn't see him. He looked dehydrated and malnourished. His entire body was either dirty or bloody. Leaves and sticks stuck to his hair and clothes. But the scariest part were his eyes. His eyes... they looked like they had the life sucked out of them. Have you ever had to deal with the guilt of breaking a person like that? You know, Jimmy did it to me once. Not as bad as this, but he did it. I thought, it must be sooo easy for him. But I never saw. I never saw the pain he had to deal with, for me. You can't understand Sean. You can't understand until you break someone."

Typical Ashley. Things are peachy keen the whole time we're having sex behind her boyfriend's back. Then, she gets the nerve to leave him, and the loser has a mental breakdown. That can't be all her, obviously there's something else there. So, she feels sorry for herself and wants me to feel sorry for her, too. Well that just won't work. Not on me. Not for her. Not today. "Yea, Ash, you did leave him. But that's your right. Why should you stay in a relationship that's not working for you? Trust me, staying would've just made things worse on everyone. JT would've eventually had this breakdown even if you did stand by his side."

She stands and storms around the room. "You know what, Sean? You are such a selfish, selfish asshole. I can't believe I even came here to be comforted. Fuck you. I hope you drop dead." Finally, she picks up her bag and dramatically opens the door.

I decide to take her bait. "Ash, stop," I say. Leaving her hand on the knob, she turns and faces me. I want nothing more than to let her walk out, but I know I'd regret that later. "You're right, I don't know what it feels like." Suddenly, thoughts of Emma fill my head, but I push them as far out as I can. You broke Emma, Sean. No. Stop it. "I'm sorry."

She lets the bag drop. "I need to get home anyways," she says. "Tonight's my last night. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I need to move in." Without another word, she vanishes. I tilt my head back in frustration and scream. Exactly what I need.

"I feel I must interject here.
You're getting carried away
feeling sorry for yourself
with these revisions and gaps in history."

Long fights. That's all my day has been since it started by fighting to bring JT back to normal. After that, I came home to Kate and Jeff telling me they had to search my room. Needless to say, they found more than just condoms. They found my medication, some illegal drugs, and a few knives and sharp objects I had used right after Ellie died to lessen the pain. They sat me down and told me they couldn't have me in their house anymore. It was either a total rehab clinic, or I need to leave.

They're being nicer about the whole thing than I expected. They're even letting me keep the car if I promise to slowly pay it off. Kate was hysterical the whole time, crying and begging me to get help. I told her that if she hadn't given me the option, I would've run away. I know that they would've found me, though, so it was good I didn't have to.

Then the fight with Sean. I'm starting to wonder if he understands me as much as I need him to. I don't have much of a choice, though. It's either try to make this relationship work or be forced to go to a rehabilitation clinic, which really isn't an option at all. So, I have to leave a half dead ex-love(although the 'ex' feeling isn't mutual) to fend for himself while I go live with Sean. Damnit. How could I ever think this was going to be easy?

There's this unwritten rule between me and Toby that kind of formed itself after my shitty grade 8 year. We're allowed to have total breakdowns on each other, and it will never be mentioned again. Tonight, my room is a complete disaster. The bed's already been moved, and the mattress is covered in boxes. I find myself in Toby's room and crawl under the covers since he has such a big bed.

He looks over and down on me. "What's going on?" he asks. I know he wants to know for JT, for himself, but mostly, for me. I curl into the fetal position.

"Toby, I don't know anymore. Things happened. I've been with Sean for awhile now, don't tell JT, please, it will make him even worse. You don't have to blame me, I already blame myself. Please don't try to make me feel guilty. I hate myself for doing this. But I don't have a chance. Kate and Jeff said that if I don't get out on my own accord, that I'd have to go to a nut house. Toby, you know me. You know I can't go there."

"I know, shh, Ash, it's all gonna be ok," he whispers.

Nothing's going to ever be O.K. Or fine. Or good. Or wonderful. I thought after today that I wouldn't have any tears left, but I was wrong. Toby's pillow absorbs each tear without protest, and for that, I'm grateful. "I don't know how we're going to survive. I'm so scared."

"Ashley, you're so resourceful. I don't have to worry about you. I know that. I just don't want you, to, well, be corrupted by him."

I know he's right, but I can't accept that. I can't accept that Sean still does those things. Not after Ellie. Not after everything. "Sean's a good kid. You just need to give him a chance."

"I know. I'll try, Ash. I promise." We sit in silence for awhile, and I think he might've fallen asleep. But, soon enough, he starts to ask more questions. "Are you going to get married?" he asks, but I don't think he's really asking that. Can he be? Is that possible?

I snort my laugh comes out so fast. "What? Of course not! That's insane. Why would we? We've barely been together, at all. I mean, three months ago, I agreed to marry JT."

"What?" It's his turn to be surprised. I nod slowly. "My best friend, and my step-sister, couldn't have dreamt that one up if I tried."

I laugh slightly, looking down at the faded string turned ring on my ring finger. "I didn't mean to," I finally say. "I didn't mean to hurt him like that. I didn't mean to fall for Sean. It wasn't planned. Some things, just happen."

"I'm not saying you did."

"I know, Tobes, I know. I just, don't know what J.'s going to do next."

I hear air pass through his lips sharply. "Contrary to popular belief, you aren't the end all and be all of JT. He survived 15 years without you in his life, and I'm sure he'll find a way to continue his life without you. I'll help him, I promise."

Suddenly, for the first time all day, a tidal wave of calm and relief floods over me. "You're the best, Tobes. I'm sorry I have to leave."

"Hey, you're not dying or anything. I'll still see you in school."

"Of course," I say, and my body finally gives in to sleep.

"So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs
that should finally make it clear;
I've prepared a lecture
on why I have to leave.
So please back away and let me go."

It's so weird. I always thought that I was the catch. Paige Michalchuk, all around perfect human being, teenage girl. Beautiful body built up well by cheering, toothy smile I would flash to (almost) anyone, hair that bounces almost as much as I do, and the best fashion taste at Degrassi. Any guy would be lucky to have me, right?

Not Spinner Mason. He's too damn good for me now. I built him up, and now he can tear me down. In what galaxy is that the least bit fair? How could an arrogant, smart aleck with a can of spray cheese tear down the goddess-esque being of Paige Michalchuk? I've debated the subject with Hazel many times, and have come to a few conclusions, which I shall list now.

1. The aerosol from so many cans of spray cheese have finally gotten to his head.

2. He's been spending so much time around Marco and my brother, that he finally realized he is gay.

3. He had his dick cut off in a freak lumber jacking competition and is too much of a pussy to tell me.

Still, I find myself at his doorstep, trying to find the real reason. Paige Michalchuk is groveling. Take a picture, it'll last longer. "Honeybee!" I say, throwing my arms around him, acting as though nothing has happened. Maybe he'll play along. Maybe we're fine. Who knows?

"Paige, what are you doing here?" he asks, taking my arms off his shoulders. "You shouldn't be here. I don't want to see you."

"Spin, hun, come on!" my voice is cheery and lighthearted, not letting on that he affected me in the least.

"Paige, get over it. We weren't meant to be. Come on, this can't be the end of your world. I'm sure there are plenty of other guys you can date. We just weren't cut out for each other. Sorry." He closes the door, and I'm left on his porch, alone, mouth gaping.

But he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that I can't just move on. It's not that easy. I've built my life up to this point around him. Can Spinner go? Will Spin mind if we don't take him? How will Spinner deal with this? The questions plague me still. I knock again. I'm not giving up that easily. Not for the life of me.

"I can't my darling;
I love you so."

I walk into the waiting room. It's the middle of the night, and I know people will look at me strange. I can't stop walking. I reach the nurse's station. "JT Yorke," I say deliberately.

"Son, visiting hours are over," the woman says sternly. "It's the middle of the night. Go home."

I nod my head. "Well, see, I need his room number so I can tell my class tomorrow. I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Sean Cameron," I stick out my hand and shake her's. "I'm in JT's class. I was asked yesterday to find out the room number so a few classmates can visit. However, I wasn't feeling well earlier, but I really don't want to go back tomorrow without it. Please, miss, it would mean a lot."

She looks down on me and scrutinizes me. I can tell this is 'strictly against hospital policy' by the look on her face. However, her look softens, and she turns to her computer. Click click click on the keyboard. A few seconds later, she looks back. "118," she says.

"Thank you so much, ma'am," I say. I turn and leave, but I also scan room numbers close to me. 101 and ascending. His room isn't anywhere near here. I can get into it. Easily. I make my way to another hospital door. I slyly make my way to his room, but it's not hard at all. I think about knocking but decide against it. I push his door open, and I'm not ready at all for what I see.

His bruised and underweight body lies with what seems like millions of tubes going into him. His entire body makes me cringe, and I'm lucky he's sleeping so I don't have to see the eyes that Ashley had talked about.

I see a chair in the corner and make my way to it. I sit down quietly and stare at him. At some point, I fall asleep. I'm not sure when. I wake up at 6 in the morning to the door creaking open slightly. I look up, and Ashley's standing there, flowers in her hands. Her beautiful, delicate hands. "Sean," she mumbles. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to be a friend," I say. I doubt he's even been awake at all for her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here," she says, stiffening her back, "I'm here to say goodbye."

At that moment, a new feeling overcomes me. It's something like relief and joy and happiness. I run over to her and wrap my arms around her. Her stiff body becomes relaxed in my arms. I kiss the top of her head. "I'm sorry. I want you with me. I want you to move in."

She looks up into my eyes. "Well, you didn't really have a choice."

We both laugh lightly, only to be disrupted by JT stirring. I take the hint that Ashley is giving me and walk outside. I sit in the waiting room for about twenty minutes, avoiding the stares the nurse is giving me. As I start to seriously wonder if Ashley wants to go to school today or not, she walks out. "Ready?" she asks. I nod.

"What did you talk about?" I ask.

"JT and I?" I nod again. "I ended it. I told him about us. I just hope it wasn't too soon."

I wrap an arm around her. "JT's going to be alright," I assure her. "And so are we." And for the first time in a long time, I believe the words coming out of my mouth. I'm starting to fall in love with this girl. I'm still scared, but only scared that she might not feel as strongly as I do.

"Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better,
than making you my bride and slowly growing old together?"

I thought I could do this. I thought guilt wasn't a factor in my life. I thought I could leave the past in the past.

But I was so wrong.

Every little task reminds me of Sean. Every time Dylan grabs my hand, I imagine Sean doing the same thing. I expect to hear Sean's voice every time I pick up the phone. You're not dating Sean, I remind myself daily. You're dating Dylan, and you love him.

You love him, so you must tell him the truth. This thought plays itself over and over like a broken record. I walk up the stairs of the Michalchuk home. I pass pictures on the wall of Paige and Dylan over the years. I see the most recent, Dylan's senior picture. It's made me swoon more times that I can count. My feet make it to the top of the stairs, down the hall, in front of his door. My hand makes the knocking sound.

Footsteps. Deep breaths. Doorknob turning. Hyperventilating. Open door. Wide mouth. Hand grabbing. Stepping inside. Sympathies. Confessions.

It all comes pouring out of me. The feelings. The kiss. The thoughts. The days spent on the roof. The rocks. The rocks? The overdrive of emotions.

His face stays straight. Poker face, damn him. He shows absolutely no emotion, and somehow, that's worse than anger. I fall backwards onto his bed. He climbs over me, playfully. Why so playfully? He kisses my neck. Why? "Dylan, stop," I plead, but he's stronger, and he doesn't want to stop. "Dylan, no!" I'm struggling now, struggling for air, for freedom. Nothing can save me. I'm sorry.

"Marco, what's wrong?" he asks, stopping. I breathe out quickly and heavily.

"What's wrong with you?" I scream back. "I just admitted that I was with Sean, and you act like there's no problem!"

"Well, I don't really care," he says, going after me again. "You didn't think we were exclusive, did you?" I feel my heart hit the floor at the pace of a million miles a second. "I mean," he tries catching himself, but it doesn't work. "Marco, you know you're my number one. My go to guy. You know that I love you. I LOVE you, Marco. You're the first person I've ever loved. But, with every other guy I dated, it was kind of, ya know, an unwritten rule that we could be with other people, as long as it didn't mean anything. We just didn't talk about it. I thought that we were... like that."

I want to die. I want to kill him and myself. Unwritten rule? What the hell? "No, Dylan, it wasn't like that," I say standing up.

"What's your damage? You were with Sean, remember?"

"If you did love me, you would be pissed about that," I retort. I start walking out the door when he grabs me and turns me around.

"Don't walk out on me, Marco. Never walk out on me," he says through gritted teeth. I want to scream for help, but I am so scared. "I won't be with anyone else. But you can't leave. We can run away together and be life partners. Whatever. But don't walk out on me. Not now. Please, Marco. Please don't."

"I need time to think," I say through sobs. I want to die.

"Don't you feed me lies about some idealistic future.
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures."

"You didn't think we were exclusive, did you?" The line taunts me. Why on earth would I say that? I just ruined the best thing in my life. I can't believe myself.

'Time to think' is always code for 'time to think about how to break up with you.' I don't blame him. After that little, alright huge, fight, I would never want to talk to me again either. Why did I say those things? I can't believe it. I can't believe I would assume that he would know all about the gay world. I was the poor kid's first boyfriend. And he is my first love. Love. Love I was capable of fucking up pretty bad.

I don't mean to be a stalker, but I can't take my thoughts off of the boy. I drive to his house and see his sister laying out in the yard. "Dylan Michalchuk!" she says, as giddy as any other teenage girl, as she runs over to my car. "Marco is..." her eyebrows bunch in an effort to remember. "Marco's thinking," she says, finally remembering.

I laugh a little to myself. Of course I knew that. "Do you know where he might be?" I ask.

She looks behind her to make sure no one's listening. "Um, well, you could try... Here, let me write down the address, you've never heard of it, I'm sure. It's just a little shop we go to all the time in downtown. He absolutely loves it there." Her hands scratch numbers and letters in what seemed like no real order on the back of a gas receipt I had in the car. "It's called 'Trinity.' If he's not there, I'm out of guesses."

I thank her and drive towards the city. I stop in front of the desolate building and wonder if maybe Marco's sister was playing some sort of joke. I park the car and walk towards it uneasily. I push open the door and am instantly greeted with the sounding of a bell and a ginger-like smell. It looks completely deserted except for a lonely cashier. She smiles at me. I feel bad and have nothing to do with the rest of my day, so I walk over. "Hi! Can I help you with anything?"

I shrug lightly. I lean over the counter looking down through the glass. There are about 700 different types of sunglasses. I guess I should buy something; it might keep the place in business. I ask her to see a pair of blue tinted glasses, and she hurriedly agrees. "Those look very cute on you," she says through a huge grin.

"Thanks," I answer. "How much?"

"Twenty."

"I'll take them." They aren't too horribly expensive, and I could always use another pair of sunglasses.

At that exact moment, Marco walks out of a back room. After the curtain is closed again, I can see a lop-sided sign that says "Fitting Rooms." He gives me a strange look and walks up next to me, setting his clothes on the counter. "How did you know I would be here?" he asks.

I can play out the dumb approach - I come here all the time, how did YOU know I would be here? No, I guess I've lied enough. "Your sister told me," I say.

"Oh. Traitor." He smiles a bit, his toothy smile, and my heart melts again.

I grab his hands and lead him back into the dressing room. The cashier gives us a knowing smile, but she turns back to her magazine instead of protesting. "Marco, I am so sorry. You can't even imagine. If I thought that I was hurting you one bit, I would have never even thought about it. No, I didn't think. I know. I was so stupid. I wish I could take it all back. I'm not asking for things to go back to the way they were. I know that's a lot to give me. I just want another chance. I want to show you that I can be trusted. I will do anything for you, Marco. If you want the moon, just say the word."

His eyes are brimming with tears, so I do the thing I do best in the world. I reach out and hold my beloved. He gently pushes me aside. "I'm always going to love you," he says, his voice trying hard not to crack. "But give it time." He walks past me, and all I can hear is the distant ringing of a bell.

So I'm left with nothing but a pair of cheap sunglasses. Oh well, I can always use another pair of sunglasses.

"I know that I have made mistakes,
and I swear I'll never wrong you again."

How can she care this much? She's gorgeous and has tough skin. She should be able to deal with this. I was. She should be able to bounce back. Instead, I hear her knocking, again and again.

I stare at the door, unmoving. Kendra walks in. "Aren't you going to get that?" she hisses. I glance up at her and back to the door. "Fine," she says in a huff. I mean to stop her, but my body won't move.

"Kenny, hun, can I come in for the briefest second?" I hear Paige ask.

"Paigey, hun, what do you want?"

"What's her damage?" Paige remarks once she's out of earshot.

"What's your's?" I immediately snap back.

"That angsty and scarred attitude is so last year."

"You're even more shallow than I remember."

"I'm not shallow. You haven't given me a chance to redeem myself. I'm sorry, Spin. I really am. Is that what you want?"

"Paige, hun, please leave. That's what will make me happy."

She picks up a small figurine my mom has on the front table and hurls it at me. I duck just in time. "What the hell, Spin? I devoted my fucking life to you, and this is what I get? This... shit? I would've done anything for you. Anything."

Not anything. But that's not important. "You need to leave now," I say again.

"Or what Spin? You'll throw me out?" I nod. "You and what army?"

"Oh, hun, never mess with the Masons. We are an army," Kendra says walking in behind me. I've never been particularly glad to have a sister, but I am so much at this moment. She holds out our cordless phone threateningly. "9-1-1 only takes half a second to dial," she says. Paige glares at me one last time before turning on her heel and leaving. For good, I hope.

"You've got a lure I can't deny,
but you've had your chance
so say goodbye.
Say goodbye."