Chapter Thirty-Three: The Order of the Ferret

"Merlin's ghost!"

"I honestly don't know what happened," Hermione gasped, looking frightened and not a little revolted at the sight before her. "I was bringing these ingredients down to Professor Snape's and I found him there…"

"Yes," Professor McGonagall looked a little ill herself. "Where –how exactly was he arranged?"

"He was all curled up in a ball, next to the classroom door," Snape explained. "I think he was trying to crawl to me."

"Well, you are the b- …boy's Head of House." Madam Pomfrey had just been listening to McGonagall's account of Milton's expulsion meeting, and she didn't look precisely pleased to be the one expected to patch him up. "Minerva, would the Gryffindor kids do this?"

"No chance," the Professor and Hermione replied in unison.

"Besides, apart from Harry and I, there aren't any Gryffindor students here," Hermione added.

"Then it's not an inter-House assault…you don't think perhaps…"

"It wasn't You-Know-Who," Snape interjected. "I would know. It seems to me that it may be the work of a few of Ms. Catesby's friends who heard about the –erm, reasons for his expulsion."

"But how would they have known, Severus?" McGonagall inquired gently.

"I certainly haven't told anyone. The person who informed me…well, that person used a certain charm to make sure I respected Maria's privacy."

"I only found out today," Hermione added. "Maria told me herself."

"Then that leaves Miss Zabini and Mr. Malfoy under suspicion," Madam Pomfrey observed. "Though this doesn't look…Minerva, these wounds are non-magical."

"What?"

"There's not a hex on him. It's all been done with fists and perhaps a stick."

"Cass," Hermione and Severus spoke in unison.

"Nope. Not me." A curtain was shoved aside, revealing the professor, perched and smirking on one of the hospital wing's many beds. "Though I wish I hadn't been getting my leg patched up."

The unconscious Blodgett chose that moment to stir, and Madam Pomfrey humanely anaesthetized him with a spell.

"She's been up here the entire time?" Snape asked, indicating Cass a little suspiciously.

"Yes, of course, Severus."

"I fell off a broom this morning and snapped my leg. Draco helped me up."

"And where is he?"

"Right here." Cass shoved aside another curtain. There sat Draco. He had the cheek to wave and smile quite happily.

"If you two were up here the entire time, what happened to Milton Blodgett?" Hermione asked. "Blaise is over at the Weasleys' with Ginny and Harry's at Hagrid's. Who else would do this?"

The two Slytherins managed to look cheerfully innocent.

"I imagine he offended Peeves and got thrown down the steps, maybe?" Draco suggested to Cass, who shrugged.

"Or perhaps the house-elves mistook him for some dust."

"Merciful peace!" Everyone jumped. Madam Pomfrey had just been trying to heal Milton and suffered a severe shock. "Minerva, he's- he's been…"

"Good lord." The professor had also gone quite pale. "Draco, I know you and Cassandra didn't have any hand in this. No Hogwarts student would ever…pardon me."

Professor McGonagall had ducked behind one of the multitude curtains. Judging by the sound, she had just become reacquainted with the morning meal.

"What exactly has been done to him?" Snape inquired. A look at Poppy's disturbed and disgusted face answered him. "Ah."

There was a long pause.

"Can't says I don't blame whoever did do it, though," Draco remarked chipperly.

****************************************************

"He was what?"

Cass, Draco and Hermione had joined Harry, Blaise and Ron at the Weasleys' house. At present they were all stuffed into Ron's bright but small bedroom, where everything clashed with his Chudley Cannons stuff. Fortunately, Ginny had just brought up some more cookies. Blaise especially was enjoying the news of Milton Blodgett's beating. "Who do you suppose did it?"

"Haven't a clue," Cass remarked, looking deliberately innocent. "Are those chocolate chip, Ginny?"

"He definitely deserved it, though," Ginny agreed with Blaise, passing the cookie plate. "If I'd've done it, though, I'd've put them up on display in the Common Room."

Draco, Ron and Harry flinched as one.

"Or a goalpost." Blaise grinned evilly. "Or perhaps preserve them as Snitches."

"Too damn small," Cass added with a snort.

"I don't think this is really something we should be larking on about," Hermione protested, looking rather stern. "Yes, Milton Blodgett's a horrible person and he likely deserved what he got and worse, but what if whoever did it decides to go after one of us for some little piddly thing?"

"They won't," Draco and Cass replied in unison.

"Then it was you two?" Hermione had gone quite ashen. "How on earth could you-?"

"Oh, we didn't do it," Cass explained. "Though we undoubtedly wanted to."

"We had just gotten down from the Hospital Wing when we saw him getting…well…" Draco looked rather sick at the memory.

"How did you get down, though?" Blaise asked. By way of reply, Cass held up her illegal Time-Turner. "Oh."

"We refer to it as 'pulling a Hermione,' actually," the professor explained. "But either way, it really wasn't us. We saw two girls that we'd never seen before do it."

"What did they look like?" Ron asked.

"One had red hair that looked just like yours, but it wasn't Ginny. She had green eyes and earrings with fangs on 'em. The other one had black hair and a nose like Snape's. Sort of scary-lookin'."

"She was hot," Draco observed bluntly.

"Who were they?"

"I don't know. But there was another girl who came around the other corner and told them they had to go. She had the Time-Turner."

"So they could be anyone?"

"Yeah, and from any time." Cass looked a little disappointed at this. "So we can't even send them a thank-you note."

"Or a Howler," Hermione added bitterly. There was a bit of laughter at both remarks, but suddenly Harry paused.

"Professor?"

"Yeh?"

"What'd the third girl look like?"

"That was the weirdest part of it, Potter." Draco frowned. "The one with the Time-Turner was a dead ringer for her husband." He indicated Cass with his thumb.

"So maybe they were from the future?" Blaise asked. "Your daughters, Professor Cass?"

"Not unless I somehow shag Snape and Ron as well." Cass had bitterness in her voice mixed within the wit. Hermione knew why, and so did Ginny.

"I'm betting on the past. It sounds like my mum and some friends of hers." Ginny thought for a second. "The black-haired one could be Snape's mother, and the one that looked like Mr. Tyler was likely Elaine Tyler. Sort of a distant second or third cousin."

"And your mother would emasculate someone?" Draco asked. Ginny shrugged.

"Or perhaps my aunt."

"Either way, it was very strange," Cass said concludingly. "I for one am rather pleased, if a bit grossed-out, at the events of this morning, and in the event that any of us should ever meet females matching those descriptions, it would be my intention to take them out for a butterbeer." She crushed a soda can between her hands and set it down with a mild 'tap,' indicating the end of a very gross subject. "Now, on to business. I believe Secretary of Mischief Ginny has the floor."

Blaise and Harry both tapped their soda cans on the bedpost.

"Hear, hear."

Ginny stood calmly and readjusted her sitting pose before addressing the assembled few:

"It is my motion that we name the herein gathered group."

"Motion addressed," Hermione said authoritatively. "Do we have a second?"

"I second the motion," Blaise replied.

"Motion seconded. All in favor?" There was a quick, unanimous hand-count. "Right. All suggestions for a name shall commence."

"Why we can't just say 'let's make up a name' and be done with it," Draco groused. "How about the Inter-House Committee on Resistance?"

"Isn't that a bit pompous?" Hermione asked.

"You're one to talk."

"The Order of the Snow Owl?" Ron suggested. "Like the real Order, but Hedwig could be our mascot."

"The Order of the Phoenix sounds like Fawkes trying to have pizza in," Cass observed. "'Hello, Lorenzo's? I'd like a large pizza with extra halibut and lemon drops on half.'"

"How did you know Fawkes likes halibut?" Harry asked.

"Oh, come on! You don't think professors don't get lectures, too?" Cass frowned. "I was in real trouble for that one field trip."

"Anyway," Hermione tapped her soda can on the bed. "Does anyone have any other suggestions for our name?"

"The Order of the Ferret," Blaise offered. Immediately the room exploded in laughter and Draco's ears went red. Cass, however, looked inspired.

"How clever! I like that, yes!"

"Do you know why she brought it up?" Draco asked.

"It's a wonderful name! The Order of the Ferret…" The Yank was clearly lost in one of her idealistic moods. "Yes, and it suits us, too. We are resisting the hunters, but not by straightforward methods. We are burrowers, thieves, spies…" Cass had actually assumed a ferret pose, hands up at the wrist like paws. "Ruthlessly we nibble the cobras of tyranny!"

"Nibble?"

"Cobras?"

"Ferrets kill snakes, you nit," Cass explained to Ron. "And who's the biggest snake around?"

"Moldy-Voldy!" Hermione and Ginny cried.

"Right!" By now Cass was on her feet. "So the Phoenix is fighting! The Phoenix fights nice! They need somethin' lowdown, somethin' loaded with vice!"

"Did you know she did poetry?" Ron whispered in Harry's ear.

"It's past the time for wings and claws!
The time has come to break some laws!
The Ministry's crippled, but Yanks are on loan
And now dear old Albus has us for his own!"

"Cass, what have you had to drink today?" Hermione asked.

"Some of this soda, why?"

"It's Weasleys' in her can, actually," Ginny confessed with a grin. "I couldn't resist."

"But still! Bursting into song aside, the ferret is really a noble beast!" Everyone stifled some kind of laugh. "Come on! …All right, maybe it's ignoble. But ferrets are clever and shifty and they do eat snakes."

"All in favor?" Hermione asked. Everyone but Draco put up a paw. "Right. We are now the Order of-"

It was simply too much. Lost in giggles, Hermione was incapable of speech.

"I don't see what's so all-fired funny," Draco frowned.

"Me neither," Cass replied, watching everyone but them roll about the floor. "But at least they're amused, eh what?"

**************************************************

Severus,

Remember when you mentioned that a student force in backing of the Order might be a good idea? You great idiot, did you have to say that in front of Cass? Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron and Ginny Weasley and I are now the Order of the Ferret. Sounds ridiculous? It is. It seems so far to be mostly a lot of kids who are either frustrated at being too young for the real Order or frustrated at having Death Eaters for parents. That mad Yank put Ron and Harry in charge with me, (mainly to keep Harry occupied, I think,) and Draco and Blaise are Ministers of Espionage.

Ginny is Secretary of Mischief, and her job is to invent and supply distractions of the student body when necessary. Ron is Keeper of Keys and Games, which means that he has all the computer passwords for the Muggle stuff we use, plus he has the key to the cabinet of Muggle board games at the Shrieking Shack. (Literal, isn't she?) They also communicate with Fred and George, who are doing something not only with 'us kids,' but also the American Aurory.

Harry is in charge of orders from Dumbledore in name, but what Cass really has him doing is making snacks and such for the new Order. Molly Weasley and she had a Little Chat, and now Harry is being taught how to cook with magic. It seems to be getting his mind off things rather well. He wasn't looking forward to staying with you, no offense, but at least when you get back he will know how to make everything you like.

Isn't this childish? We're all whistling in the dark and making up funny clubs, partly because of the war and partly because of what's happened lately with the kids in our class. I think it was Maria that got Ron and Draco not to fight anymore. As soon as Ron saw how angry (alright, furious,) Draco was about what that scum Blodgett did to her, I think he realized he was human, too. Harry still doesn't trust him very much, but I don't blame him there. To be honest, I don't quite trust Draco, but Cass does, and that keeps us quiet on the matter.

I don't think there's very much doubt of what we suspected in terms of Cass' parentage. She and Draco are almost always together with John away, and the similarities in the pair of them are startling. They finish each other's sentences, gesture similarly, and now that they're together so much, their accents are starting to shift. Draco sounds more American and Cass more English all the time. If it wouldn't be so terrible to have Lucius Malfoy as a father, I don't think Cass would mind being Draco's sister, nor he mind being her brother. They're certainly getting along well enough.

An hour ago, though, after Draco had gone home, Cass didn't seem as calm. The whole thing with Maria's really affected her, and I think she knows something we don't. It could also be the fact that she thinks she can't have kids herself. Blaise got an owl earlier, and the baby's due in October, which means Maria won't be back at school for most of seventh year, and that really pissed Cass off, as well. We also found out that Maria's family is forcing her to marry that bastard. Right now Cass is drinking herself insane with Blaise, because the owl forbade her to interfere. I would be doing something similar, except I have you to write to. Damn those worthless Slytherins!

Dear?

Severus?

I just opened the book a moment ago. I heard what the Catesbys and the Blodgetts are doing.

Can't you do something?

There's nothing that can be done now. The wedding took place at the Ministry twenty minutes ago. Fudge officiated.

Reason #412 to hate his guts.

You've been with the Yanks too long.

You're one to talk about being snarky.

Are you crying, dear?

How can you tell?

The pages have little blurry spots.

Alright, I am crying. This shouldn't be happening.

If it makes you feel any better, it can't happen again. Susan Bones told Dumbledore that she intends to pass a resolution forbidding those kinds of marriages.

A resolution. Wow. How effective.

Sarcasm? Maybe you should go and have something to drink.

Like what? The chrome-stripping, two-hundred-proof acid martinis Cass has in the fridge?

I was thinking more along the lines of the bottle of water in there, next to the ketchup.

Why?

Because the lid is a Portkey to my estate.

And what is a Portkey to your estate doing in the Tylers' fridge? What if one of them drank it?

John doesn't like bottled water because it tastes funny and Cass only drinks water if there are teabags and a quarter-pound of sugar floating in it.

Good point.

Besides, I suspected I might miss you a bit too much sometimes.

Like now?

Like every day since term ended.

You know, you could have told me it was there.

I could have. But you really need it now.

I'll be there in five minutes.

I love you.

I love you, too.

*************************************************************

When the sun rose over both the Snape estate and the Shrieking Shack, Hermione was at the first. Cass was in the Ministry of Magic, under heavy guard and awaiting trial. Unfortunately, one was too smashed and one was too sleepy to realize or discover this. One had spent a night winning fistfights with enemies, and as to the other…

Well, for both females, it would be a strange morning.

Cass was awakened by a loud, bellowing voice that managed on the fifth call to penetrate the blistering hangover. It was a guard with some dry bread and water, which immediately transformed to a Krispy Kreme donut and fresh coffee when he realized who his prisoner was. He had a young brother in Hufflepuff and wanted the professor's good will, if not maybe an autograph. He also rather admired the crime for which she had been hauled unceremoniously in during the preceding night.

Hermione was awakened by a series of long, well-placed and tender kisses. It was Severus. He hadn't made breakfast yet, but it soon became abundantly clear that food, no matter how sweet and sticky, would bloody well have to wait.

Cass would have killed for an aspirin –or six.

Hermione would have –well, nevermind.

John was patiently and intently listening to Blaise's explanation of exactly why Cass was looking at possible time in Azkaban.

Severus was patiently and intently –forget it.

Right about eight o'clock, Cass was really missing John.

Right about eight twenty-four, Hermione was really kissing Severus. (One wonders where she developed her technique. Exactly what all is in that Restricted Section anyway? The mind boggles.)

Cass leaned against the bars of her prison bed's headboard and sighed with boredom.

Hermione…

You know what, let's end the chapter there.