Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me. It does, however, belong to one James Cameron and one Charles Eglee, and FOX.
Summary: Just a really short pointless fic I got the idea for one day. I know it's probably been done before, but bear with me. Remember, this is not supposed to make sense. Pairing: L/Computer
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Logan clanked clumsily into his apartment, his face almost hidden by the brown paper bags full of corn, tomatoes, and the like. "We are all a happy fammiiilyyy-" He warbled loudly in a high falsetto voice, though his neighbors probably had already all gasped and covered their ears from his horrendous butchering of the art known as singing. Of course, the whirring of his exoskeleton completely spoiled his non-existent rhythm.
Suddenly, he squeaked. Which was a very welcome distraction from his singing. "I know!!" He squeaked again. "I'll write a poem to the love of my life!" Scurrying over to his computer desk and dropped all of the paper bags in the process, he reverently thought about her. Sleek, slim body, smooth… A silly grin spread over his face, which would have made any other guy look adorable, but only succeeded in making Logan look scary and clown-like. "I'll read my masterpiece to her!!" he declared. "Then we would have a romantic dinner together, just the two of us. If only I can touch her without gloves..." Logan said sadly, pouting. Sitting down in his swirly computer chair, he slowly opened a plastic drawer on his desk aptly titled "Very Secret Files and Possesions of Eyes Only. Do not open." He pulled out a pair of latex gloves and tugged them on impatiently.
"Can't mar her perfection with my greasy fingerprints, even if they are the fingerprints of the savior Eyes Only!" He reminded himself. He never touched his computer without gloves. Never. Placing his now protected hands on the keyboard, he-
Wait. Where was his computer? He had been going to write a poem to her, his wonderful, new, shiny computer that held all of his utmost secrets. His eyes widened-a refreshing change from the small and squinty way his eyes always looked- Could his computer have been stolen?? How was it possible? NO ONE would steal from the great and powerful Eyes. They all worshipped him too much.
Now sniffling slightly, he slumped on the chair. There was a knock at the door. It was Bling.
"Bling!" He called out joyfully. "Do you know what happened to…" His eyes dropped to his empty desk sorrowfully "m-my computer?" He asked hopefully.
"Computer? What happened, man? Some guy must have stolen it or something. Why don't you call Max and ask her to find out for you? Even though she is still kinda mad at you…" Bling frowned and muttered the last part.
His unshapely nose wrinkled. "Max? Who's that? Oh, that Max. The annoying person who just wouldn't leave me alone with my computer…" His voice trailed off as his pea-sized brain finally reminded him of the missing computer. "Yeah, I'll call her. Maybe she can help. Don't worry, she'll be falling over her shoes to help such a charming man like me!"
Picking up his phone, he dialed the number, sure that she would call him right back once she knew who was calling.
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"Logan?"
"Yeah."
"Are you sure Max is going to call you back?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't she call someone as talented and handsome as me?"
"Maybe the fact that she's mad at you because you kept information about her siblings from her…"
"Of course she wouldn't hold it against me."
"But it's already been 3 hours and you've already paged her like 50 times."
"…"
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BUZZ
"You gonna get that, girl?" OC asked.
"It's just Logan." Max replied, her eyes wandering around to rest on a certain blonde X-5 and grinning at him. "It shouldn't be really urgent."
"But he's paged you like 30 times in the past 3 hours, boo."
"37," She corrected absently. "But who's counting?"
Seeing Cindy's eyes roll, she sighed and stood up.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll see what he wants and I'll be right back."
Strolling over to the payphone, she put in several coins and dialed the number.
It picked up on the first ring.
"Logan." She sighed. "What do you want? Didn't I just tell you last week that I never wanted to see you or hear from you again? I probably wouldn't have even called if I didn't think it was important, judging from the way you were trying to blow up my pager."
" But Maaax," Logan whined into the receiver. "It is important. Very much so. Anything remotely related to Eyes Only is. In fact, last week there was this one case-"
"Logan. If you have something to say, spit it out. If not, then hang up before I come over here to kick your ass."
There was a pause at the other end of the phone.
"My computer…it was stolen. I need you to-"
CLICK
"She hung up on me!" Logan cried indignantly, his tacky gold glasses nearly falling off his nose. "How can she hang up on Eyes Only! People should respect me, even genetically enhanced-"
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Please please please review and tell me what you think! This is the first DA Fanfiction that I've posted, so please go easy on me. I meant no offence to anybody, just having fun bashing Logan's character, not Michael Weatherly. Remember that.