Remember Chapter 2...

Well, this is Chapter 3.

(Own nothing)[How many times must I say this?]

{Dunno}

,.:;';:.,.:;';:., .:;';:., .:;';:., .:;';:., .:;';:.,

So right, the story's on Merry. Or was it Legolas? It could be Frodo you know. Or some weirdo called Galadriel.

(Galadriel just slapped me, I take that back)

The most beautiful maiden called Galadriel.

(Now I have Galadriel's favour again)

It could also be Aragorn, you notice that he never washes his hair, unlike Legolas who loves his blonde hair like a girl.

... Bash, Wham, Thump

(Oh yeah, they just HAD to beat me up) ... (They glare at me) (Fine I TAKE THAT BACK)

... Uh, the most dashing elf and man in the Middle-earth. (Gawd!)

(They nod with approval)

Now to the story (it's Merry by the way).

It was three years since the Scouring of the Shire, and Merry was very famous by this time, his unnatural tallness and his brave (and hungry[for food]) manner.

(Whistling and cheering for Merry in the background, I mean seriously, SHUT UP)

Merry, 'Why is everything so quiet.'

Me, 'I told them to shut up.'

Merry, 'Oh.'

Having lost quite a lot of weight in the war, he became as fat as he was in the Prancing Pony, where he drank, humph, not mentioning.

Just then Merry shouted 'But WHY is the rum gone?!' and Harry slapped him on the face, hard. Then Merry came back to his senses. Then Hermione slapped me for absolutely not reason.

I slapped her back.

She slapped me back.

I slapped her back.

She slapped me back.

I shouted 'AUTA MIQUILA ORQU.'

She shouted 'STUFF YOUR FACE IN A PILE OF DUNG.'

All this for absolutely no reason at all.

Sigh

There can never be a second where I am not annoyed.

Sigh

#%#

It was winter and Merry was longing for an adventure, so he accompanied by Dumbledore and Gandalf to Gondor. There he found Faramir in deep conversation with his apple. While he talking to the apple, Eowyn behind him was fighting off a huge army of Uruks and Dementers sent from Morgoth and Voldemort. Aragorn was attempting to fly and jumped off the highest tower. Arwen below ran around in frantic circles, ready to catch him. Aragorn jumped off. Arwen caught him and smacked his buttocks for being a naughty king.

'Naughty king, you should be you mouth washed out for that,' scolded Arwen.

'Plewf, forgiwe we, I widn't meaw it, plewf,' pleaded Aragorn, he was his knees crying like a baby, pathetic. Arwen washed his mouth with hot chilli sauce.

'Grarraghajgrrrrgagppyippyippahhhhhh!!!' said Aragorn, his face was bright red and ran around in circles. Arwen just walked away.

Goodness!

Sigh

It is about time I stop all this randomness but otherwise you would be left with this:

...

Meanwhile, with Eowyn she had received a gash and got a bit of her hair snipped off (much to her horror). As for Merry he joined in with Eowyn, just being brave. Faramir was now up to explaining how the toiletry system in Gondor worked, the poor apple just patiently listened. Oh dear! We forgot poor Gandalf and Dumbledore. They were busy showing off their fire working skills, only Dumbledore cheated he bought Fred and George's fireworks. There were huge arrays of bursting flowers and dragons, mini flashes and explosions that continued for hours on end, ships and wizards and people and arrows shooting orc (evil laugh), waterfalls and legions of noisy noise and exploding explosions.

'Shut up with that annoying racket!' sneered (or rather shouted, or it could be smirked, or jeered, what about yelled, nope too well used... oh what the hell [what about drawled]{SHUT UP}) Draco Malfoy.

Did they even notice the blonde-white, headed, skinny, oily, mean, small, wiry (that's beginning to sound like Gollum) boy? No, they just had to ignore him. So Luscious came to the rescue.

'STOP THAT OR I'LL GET VOLDEMORT TO AVADO KEDIARVERA, or was it Avadi Kedio.?. Maybe it could be Avada Kedrava. That's definitely wrong. Just wait. Hey! I know this just ...' Luscious had a debate with himself on how pronounce Avada Kedrava. Draco rolled his eyes.

'AVADA KEDRAVA, YOU DEATH EATER WHO CAN'T PRONOUNCE AVADO KEDIARVERA, hmm, I just said it, I'm sure it could be Avadi Kedio? Or what, thinking right now...' Luscious fell down dead while Voldemort tried to remember how to pronounce Avada Kedrava. Draco rolled his eyes. Twice.

I must clear things up.

But... (Everything and everyone freezes and grows silent, eerie music and newspapers fly across the orcs v.s. Eowyn and Merry battle zone)

'I am the author, and I am more powerful than all of this fanfic!' I say majestically. I lower my glasses and look at all the characters (problem is I can't see without my glasses) 'I can bring back the dead, something that not even Morgoth can do, and I can say the word 'diversion' better than Legolas. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Anyway, it is my role to write and control this story when needed most.' Everything starts moving again.

'AND!' everything freezes, I continue 'in this case there is criminal insanity on the loose and a little randomness but I am kind I shall only, and only SHUT THE FIREWORKS UP FOR PETE'S AND EVERYONE'S SAKE!!!'

Everything starts going back into action. Dumbledore and Gandalf are having tea party.

'This is my new dolly called Daisy, this is my favourite doll and she's got a special name, Mary,' gabbled Gandalf.

'Well, this is my teddy called Drool, and he always drools but everyone says that the drool comes from my mouth, aren't they crazy, anyway this is my 2000 year-old Barbie, it was the new-version in the Stone Age, I gave her a name and it's totally funky, Stone, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA,' drooled Dumbledore, a gob of spit popped from his mouth and landed on Snape's back.

'Hello, I am the potion's master,' said Snape. He went off with Draco to Sauron on how to mutate elves.

Five hours later, the report on their progress by Sauron

Severus Snape

Snape has been excellent in handling elves in the most gruelling way possible. He has been very intent and listening when I explained how the torturing process worked and wrote a wonderful essay on the best way to mutate elves. When mutating the elves he worked very efficiently and fast, and eventually succeeded in making a whole new species of orcs. Anticipation in class- A Homework- A Final result- A Overall- A

Draco Malfoy

Draco has been very enthusiastic, and has been very high in his work. There are still some faults as he tends to hurry and is impatient to mutate elves, though I have no opposition with this it disturbed his overall mark. His homework has been quite average which is ok because of his age and lack of intelligence (compared to me of course), When doing the final steps of mutating actual elves exceeded highly above average. He managed to make a new species of Uruks which could detect any flesh of elves and men from legions away through only their fingernails.

Anticipation in class- A- Homework- B Final Result- A Overall- A

Merry just got killed by an orc.

I blinked. Merry came back to life with all energy and filled with green cordial.

,.;:':;., ,.;:':;., ,.;:':;., ,.;:':;., ,.;:':;., ,.;:':;.,

More to come... And I shall have a proper plot (the story is just... random) sooooonnnnnnn ... ... .

.. .

.. Review or review. They are the only choices. Maybe you could give me a million bucks buuuttttttt... not really probable, you can if you want.