Disclaimer: I still do not own any part of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Joss
and multiple other people do. I also would like to add that I don't make
any money off of this and probably never will.
As much as I hate to admit that this wasn't probably the best idea; inviting Spike to the Bronze with me, oh my god it's been nothing but a huge mistake. I don't know what came over me in the first place to just blurt out an invitation to him, and perhaps if it had been just he and I; I wouldn't regret it but the way things have been going I would rather be anywhere but here. I guess I have to give Spike an A+ for effort but they all fail in communication and tolerance skills. From the moment I walked in with Spike by my side there has been nothing but fighting. Dawn is the only one here that is civil to Spike and even though I was a little miffed at first about her being out so late; I am so thankful that she's here to help keep my friends in check. I pretty much had to physically restrain both Xander and Spike from tearing each other's arms off and I wish that just for me they could get along. They're both so bullheaded that it's no wonder they can't give up ground to the each other, I just wish that for my sake Xander could hold his temper and Spike could hold his tongue.
Finally the two of them are sitting; not exactly quietly, but at least they're sitting. Dawn is beside Xander and I am beside Spike trying to keep each of them calm. Can't we just have a nice talk between us without feeling the need to dust or behead anyone?
I love the Scoobs to death but sometimes I just want to slap them all upside the head. I wonder what they would say if I went out with Spike. I know what they would say, and it wouldn't be supportive. I feel a little bad about caring about what they think so much but after all, they are my friends, the only ones I have and I don't think I should alienate them for a member of the Vampire population again. No matter how much I care for this particular Vampire. For this man, not a monster as I've sometimes foolishly referred to him in the past as, a man. Spike and I have known each other for such a long time and it only seems right that things get deeper from here. We've been friends, we've been lovers, and doesn't it only seem right that we're together? Obviously it's going to take a little more work on both Spikes part, regarding how much he dislikes the Scoobies; and The Scoobies part regarding how much they really don't like Spike before that could even possibly happen.
"So Buffy" Dawn begins and I smile thankful that she's trying to help "how'd patrol go? Spike says you had a run in with a Vampire and that you almost died?"
So much for sitting somewhat quietly, Dawn immediately realizes that mentioning dying probably wasn't the best idea, and Xander is once again in Spikes face threatening him with miscellaneous demises.
"Damn you undead! Off messing around and not doing your job huh? You almost got Buffy killed by leaving her alone like that. What's wrong with you?"
"Oh sod off won't you?"
I can only shake my head at Xanders misunderstanding about Spike's being there. Why has he got to always jump to conclusions when Spike is involved?
"Xander, Spike saved me!"
Immediately Xander is back in his chair and surprisingly is apologizing to Spike. Why would he do that? I don't know but I'm completely fine with it and at least he appears to be ready to hear the story of my almost death.
"Spike and I weren't patrolling together," I'm addressing everyone of the group now hoping to get through to them and maybe just maybe give Spike a little credibility in their eyes. "I was by myself when I came upon two vamps about to kill some woman and so I attacked them. I can't exactly say why I ended up being choked," now Spike was also attentively listening "but I would have died if Spike" I for some reason or other lay my hand across his knee "hadn't been out walking around. He saved me guys so if your going to be mad at anyone be mad at me for sucking at slaying tonight."
Everyone seems to be a little suspicious of Spike's reasons for walking around the cemetery at midnight in the general area of my slaying but they say nothing, probably because they know I'll only defend him. I guess they're right because I would defend him. The more I think about it the more I see no reason for me not to take a chance on Spike. The Soul thing is pretty much all that's standing in my way and even then I try to remind myself that he doesn't have one in the first place so he can't lose it. I just wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to him to change him the way that Angel losing his soul changed him. Yeah, the soul thing and the fact that I seem to hurt everyone that I get involved with and I don't want to do that to him. I couldn't bear to give him real hope and then not live up to his expectations. I've hurt everyone else so in why not him too. I see that he has placed his hand beside mine on his knee and I wish I could just let myself go and leave my hand beside his but it would be too much of a risk and so sadly I pull it away. For a brief moment he looks hurt but quickly steels himself against all emotion. He and I are way too much alike for our own good. No I care about him way too much to hurt him the way I've hurt all of the others; I won't allow myself to.
"You're okay though right?"
"Yeah Will I'm fine, just a little shook up is all. I can't figure out why I lost the fight. I don't even remember the when the tables turned from his imminent death to mine."
"Thank you Spike...for ah..Saving Buffy. God only knows for what reason you would but thank you nonetheless."
"Sure.." He seemed to be a bit thrown with the last of her words. "Anytime."
"You agree right Xander?"
"Uh"
"Good enough," she continued turning to Tara "Wanna dance?"
Well I have to give props to Willow for at least trying to help out instead of making it worse as she very possibly could have and I wonder to myself if she would ever go so far as to actually accept Spike. Maybe if I could prove to her how much exactly I care for him and how he isn't such a bad guy. A vampire yes, but not a bloodthirsty killer that cares nothing for anyone. It could take awhile but I think it's worth a chance. She doesn't seem to always dislike Spike, only occasionally when things are misunderstood or not explained.
She and Tara have since departed from the couch and I'm sitting here now with Dawn, Spike, and Xander although it appears that Xander is going to excuse himself from us to make a call to Anya. Well, I'm sure that it's not just that he wants to call Anya, more so I think he just wants to get away from Spike. Fine by me, because the less stress I have in my life the better. Spike has been sitting silently for awhile now no doubt taking in everything as it comes and goes. The one thing I really am glad about in our relationship, Spikes, and mine, even though there's not much of a relationship as relationships go is that he knows everything there is to know about me. He knows both the good and the bad. I don't have to hide anything from him because he knows where I'm coming from, I can talk to him about Slayer issues because he understands it, and I can talk to him about family and friends because he knows them all well. I can talk to him about Angel, and even though he hates it, he understands Angel and he understands Angels past and mine. Not that I want to talk about Angel really, seeing as how I haven't thought about Angel romantically for a long while now. I haven't thought about anyone romantically for awhile now; no one that is, except for Spike.
I'm surprisingly a little bit tired, which I think is a little bit strange for me because lately I've gotten into some strange sleeping habits; not going to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning and all. I read and think a lot but for the life of me I can't sleep, even when I shut off the lights and close my eyes. I just seem to lie awake for hours on end thinking and planning and then thinking a little bit more but never getting anywhere and by the time I finally do manage to fall asleep I've forgotten everything that I've discovered anyway. It never used to be this bad but I can't help the feeling that something major is going to happen. It's like how you feel the night before a big trip, or before you see someone you haven't seen in a long time and because you're so excited you can't sleep. That's how I've been feeling recently but there's no real reason why I should. It's not like it's only been a couple days either, it's been more like a couple weeks. I'd love to just go home and try to get some sleep although that would mean ditching out on the gang not to mention Spike and I don't exactly feel good about doing that. I invited him here and so I should at least have the decency to stay for awhile. I can't help but yawn although it's not like I'll be able to sleep once I get home anyway even though I can't help but believe so now.
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Dawn's gone off to meet a couple of her friends and Buffy looks like she could fall over and be perfectly happy sleeping on the floor. I'm not quite sure what I should do seeing as how it's been a reasonably good day and I'd hate to ruin it now by suggesting that I take her home. Nothing intended by 'taking her home' I just think that she sure looks like she could use some sleep. I wonder if she's been sleeping any better since I last talked to her a couple days ago. She doesn't look sleep deprived but I can only guess that's the Slayer in her at work trying to cover up that fact. I wonder if she's going to allow me to escort her home or if I'm going to need the Scoobies help. I hate knowing that I may have to ask them for help in regards to something I can do perfectly well myself. My Slayer has been pretty reasonable so far and I only wonder when I'm going to blow it and send her off into defense pose again.
I take her arm in mine and I lift her from the couch; steadying her against me as we walk I think that maybe getting choked had more of a lasting effect on her than she's willing to admit. She looks at me but for the first time in ages I can't read her mind and it drives me mad knowing that she's closed off for the time being. However she doesn't seem to mind as I lead her to the door, I say screw telling the "Scoobies" anything about our departure, I'm sure they'll be at the house in no time anyway as they seem to live there and so we continue out of the club.
"Sorry...wanted to talk but...tired" she manages to squeeze out before yawning again
"S'ok luv, later."
I lift her in my arms just as she closes her eyes and although yes I have to say I'm a little disappointed that we won't get to spend the evening conversing, I'm still with her and that'll do for now. We must make an interesting pair I think as I walk towards Revello, to those who know us anyway, being the Vampire that I am, and she being the Vampire Slayer as she is. Her head is resting gently against my shoulder and I can hear her heartbeat. Slow enough to know that she's completely out and most likely won't be waking anytime soon. I guess you could call me whipped and you know I think I'd have to agree.
Hopefully there hasn't been any change in my invite status because it'd be a shame a wake her now just so she could invite me into her house. Not that Buffy would have uninvited me but there are others; I think very particularly about one bastard that I know who would have both the means and the motive to do so. Never again will I go to the Bronze when I know that Xander Harris is present. What a bloody mess, I come in complete peace and the second he sets eyes on me attacks me like I've wronged him somehow. Can't say that I haven't ever wronged the man, just no any time in the recent past have I done a single thing to deserve his wrath. Not that I couldn't have handled it and believe me had I really have wanted to hurt the Wanker I could have done so very efficiently and very quickly. I'm just trying to be on my best behavior for Buffy s'all no matter how sad that sounds. I'll prove to her yet that I am the right man for her even if that means I have to get trampled over a bit by her friends. Not that I'll lay down and stop fighting; I am still William the Bloody and I don't plan on taking shit from anyone. A little bit of shit sure because I'm strong enough to take it, but I don't plan on rolling over and becoming a complete nancy boy, just isn't me and the last thing she needs in her life is another Angel or Riley.
Her door's open; thank god because I honestly wouldn't know where to begin looking for they keys and even then she probably wouldn't appreciate me fondling her while asleep. Not that I would enjoy that too much either, I'd rather she'd be awake. I'm not that desperate that I'd stoop to that level. Besides I love Buffy too much for that.
I think for a brief moment about spending the night on the couch downstairs but decide against it not knowing what Buffy is going to be like in the morning. Maybe it's the lack of sleep that's got her being so nice to me, maybe it's just a couple days and then she'll be back to her old I hate Spike self. For some reason though, maybe just wishful thinking I think that this time is different. I have managed to get her out of her jacket and lay her on her bed. I leave the clothes alone thinking that I had better leave them on both for her sake and the Scoobies. No doubt they'll be here soon wondering what I've done to her and searching her over carefully to make sure there are no fresh bite marks. I love her, holy hell; I'm not going to kill her. I wish that they could just get that through their thick heads.
" I love you Slayer, always will."
I press a whisper of a kiss to her lips before retreating back down the stairs. I probably stayed too long as it is and I'd hate to meet the Scoobies on my way out. I hate this looking out for everyone, on my best poof behavior shit; time was when I didn't look out for anyone and never backed down. I glance up at Buffy's window from a tree I've stood under thousands of times and the only thing that enters my mind is that times change and that I've changed enough to know it.
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"This is perfect timing you realize, her falling in love with him coinciding with the Prophecy."
"But how do you know she loves him mistress?"
"Don't question me Sebastian, you should know better. She's in love with him and she'll do anything to protect him won't she, oh this is too perfect."
The two vampires sat watching as Spike walked away from Revello, the high mistress had dark hair almost as black as tar but her pale skin was a stunning contrast and she was dressed in Robes of finest Silk and Velvet. The deep blue cloak kept her disguised well in the dark and she stood tall above the second vampire, a minion.
"Do you want me to bring her to you?" he asked quietly
"No Sebastian, I believe we will wait for awhile, see how things play out, besides, my William has gotten himself into a bit of trouble hasn't he? Falling in love with a Slayer, tsk, tsk, the poor thing must be mad."
"Shall I contact Sylvia?"
"Yes I think she'd rather enjoy this. My dear Sylvia always has wanted to taste a Slayers blood. But..." she spat at the minion "do forget the others for the time being, we've got work to do on our own. My sweet William, I wonder how you shall ever live if your Slayer refuses to die?"
As much as I hate to admit that this wasn't probably the best idea; inviting Spike to the Bronze with me, oh my god it's been nothing but a huge mistake. I don't know what came over me in the first place to just blurt out an invitation to him, and perhaps if it had been just he and I; I wouldn't regret it but the way things have been going I would rather be anywhere but here. I guess I have to give Spike an A+ for effort but they all fail in communication and tolerance skills. From the moment I walked in with Spike by my side there has been nothing but fighting. Dawn is the only one here that is civil to Spike and even though I was a little miffed at first about her being out so late; I am so thankful that she's here to help keep my friends in check. I pretty much had to physically restrain both Xander and Spike from tearing each other's arms off and I wish that just for me they could get along. They're both so bullheaded that it's no wonder they can't give up ground to the each other, I just wish that for my sake Xander could hold his temper and Spike could hold his tongue.
Finally the two of them are sitting; not exactly quietly, but at least they're sitting. Dawn is beside Xander and I am beside Spike trying to keep each of them calm. Can't we just have a nice talk between us without feeling the need to dust or behead anyone?
I love the Scoobs to death but sometimes I just want to slap them all upside the head. I wonder what they would say if I went out with Spike. I know what they would say, and it wouldn't be supportive. I feel a little bad about caring about what they think so much but after all, they are my friends, the only ones I have and I don't think I should alienate them for a member of the Vampire population again. No matter how much I care for this particular Vampire. For this man, not a monster as I've sometimes foolishly referred to him in the past as, a man. Spike and I have known each other for such a long time and it only seems right that things get deeper from here. We've been friends, we've been lovers, and doesn't it only seem right that we're together? Obviously it's going to take a little more work on both Spikes part, regarding how much he dislikes the Scoobies; and The Scoobies part regarding how much they really don't like Spike before that could even possibly happen.
"So Buffy" Dawn begins and I smile thankful that she's trying to help "how'd patrol go? Spike says you had a run in with a Vampire and that you almost died?"
So much for sitting somewhat quietly, Dawn immediately realizes that mentioning dying probably wasn't the best idea, and Xander is once again in Spikes face threatening him with miscellaneous demises.
"Damn you undead! Off messing around and not doing your job huh? You almost got Buffy killed by leaving her alone like that. What's wrong with you?"
"Oh sod off won't you?"
I can only shake my head at Xanders misunderstanding about Spike's being there. Why has he got to always jump to conclusions when Spike is involved?
"Xander, Spike saved me!"
Immediately Xander is back in his chair and surprisingly is apologizing to Spike. Why would he do that? I don't know but I'm completely fine with it and at least he appears to be ready to hear the story of my almost death.
"Spike and I weren't patrolling together," I'm addressing everyone of the group now hoping to get through to them and maybe just maybe give Spike a little credibility in their eyes. "I was by myself when I came upon two vamps about to kill some woman and so I attacked them. I can't exactly say why I ended up being choked," now Spike was also attentively listening "but I would have died if Spike" I for some reason or other lay my hand across his knee "hadn't been out walking around. He saved me guys so if your going to be mad at anyone be mad at me for sucking at slaying tonight."
Everyone seems to be a little suspicious of Spike's reasons for walking around the cemetery at midnight in the general area of my slaying but they say nothing, probably because they know I'll only defend him. I guess they're right because I would defend him. The more I think about it the more I see no reason for me not to take a chance on Spike. The Soul thing is pretty much all that's standing in my way and even then I try to remind myself that he doesn't have one in the first place so he can't lose it. I just wouldn't be able to handle it if something happened to him to change him the way that Angel losing his soul changed him. Yeah, the soul thing and the fact that I seem to hurt everyone that I get involved with and I don't want to do that to him. I couldn't bear to give him real hope and then not live up to his expectations. I've hurt everyone else so in why not him too. I see that he has placed his hand beside mine on his knee and I wish I could just let myself go and leave my hand beside his but it would be too much of a risk and so sadly I pull it away. For a brief moment he looks hurt but quickly steels himself against all emotion. He and I are way too much alike for our own good. No I care about him way too much to hurt him the way I've hurt all of the others; I won't allow myself to.
"You're okay though right?"
"Yeah Will I'm fine, just a little shook up is all. I can't figure out why I lost the fight. I don't even remember the when the tables turned from his imminent death to mine."
"Thank you Spike...for ah..Saving Buffy. God only knows for what reason you would but thank you nonetheless."
"Sure.." He seemed to be a bit thrown with the last of her words. "Anytime."
"You agree right Xander?"
"Uh"
"Good enough," she continued turning to Tara "Wanna dance?"
Well I have to give props to Willow for at least trying to help out instead of making it worse as she very possibly could have and I wonder to myself if she would ever go so far as to actually accept Spike. Maybe if I could prove to her how much exactly I care for him and how he isn't such a bad guy. A vampire yes, but not a bloodthirsty killer that cares nothing for anyone. It could take awhile but I think it's worth a chance. She doesn't seem to always dislike Spike, only occasionally when things are misunderstood or not explained.
She and Tara have since departed from the couch and I'm sitting here now with Dawn, Spike, and Xander although it appears that Xander is going to excuse himself from us to make a call to Anya. Well, I'm sure that it's not just that he wants to call Anya, more so I think he just wants to get away from Spike. Fine by me, because the less stress I have in my life the better. Spike has been sitting silently for awhile now no doubt taking in everything as it comes and goes. The one thing I really am glad about in our relationship, Spikes, and mine, even though there's not much of a relationship as relationships go is that he knows everything there is to know about me. He knows both the good and the bad. I don't have to hide anything from him because he knows where I'm coming from, I can talk to him about Slayer issues because he understands it, and I can talk to him about family and friends because he knows them all well. I can talk to him about Angel, and even though he hates it, he understands Angel and he understands Angels past and mine. Not that I want to talk about Angel really, seeing as how I haven't thought about Angel romantically for a long while now. I haven't thought about anyone romantically for awhile now; no one that is, except for Spike.
I'm surprisingly a little bit tired, which I think is a little bit strange for me because lately I've gotten into some strange sleeping habits; not going to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning and all. I read and think a lot but for the life of me I can't sleep, even when I shut off the lights and close my eyes. I just seem to lie awake for hours on end thinking and planning and then thinking a little bit more but never getting anywhere and by the time I finally do manage to fall asleep I've forgotten everything that I've discovered anyway. It never used to be this bad but I can't help the feeling that something major is going to happen. It's like how you feel the night before a big trip, or before you see someone you haven't seen in a long time and because you're so excited you can't sleep. That's how I've been feeling recently but there's no real reason why I should. It's not like it's only been a couple days either, it's been more like a couple weeks. I'd love to just go home and try to get some sleep although that would mean ditching out on the gang not to mention Spike and I don't exactly feel good about doing that. I invited him here and so I should at least have the decency to stay for awhile. I can't help but yawn although it's not like I'll be able to sleep once I get home anyway even though I can't help but believe so now.
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Dawn's gone off to meet a couple of her friends and Buffy looks like she could fall over and be perfectly happy sleeping on the floor. I'm not quite sure what I should do seeing as how it's been a reasonably good day and I'd hate to ruin it now by suggesting that I take her home. Nothing intended by 'taking her home' I just think that she sure looks like she could use some sleep. I wonder if she's been sleeping any better since I last talked to her a couple days ago. She doesn't look sleep deprived but I can only guess that's the Slayer in her at work trying to cover up that fact. I wonder if she's going to allow me to escort her home or if I'm going to need the Scoobies help. I hate knowing that I may have to ask them for help in regards to something I can do perfectly well myself. My Slayer has been pretty reasonable so far and I only wonder when I'm going to blow it and send her off into defense pose again.
I take her arm in mine and I lift her from the couch; steadying her against me as we walk I think that maybe getting choked had more of a lasting effect on her than she's willing to admit. She looks at me but for the first time in ages I can't read her mind and it drives me mad knowing that she's closed off for the time being. However she doesn't seem to mind as I lead her to the door, I say screw telling the "Scoobies" anything about our departure, I'm sure they'll be at the house in no time anyway as they seem to live there and so we continue out of the club.
"Sorry...wanted to talk but...tired" she manages to squeeze out before yawning again
"S'ok luv, later."
I lift her in my arms just as she closes her eyes and although yes I have to say I'm a little disappointed that we won't get to spend the evening conversing, I'm still with her and that'll do for now. We must make an interesting pair I think as I walk towards Revello, to those who know us anyway, being the Vampire that I am, and she being the Vampire Slayer as she is. Her head is resting gently against my shoulder and I can hear her heartbeat. Slow enough to know that she's completely out and most likely won't be waking anytime soon. I guess you could call me whipped and you know I think I'd have to agree.
Hopefully there hasn't been any change in my invite status because it'd be a shame a wake her now just so she could invite me into her house. Not that Buffy would have uninvited me but there are others; I think very particularly about one bastard that I know who would have both the means and the motive to do so. Never again will I go to the Bronze when I know that Xander Harris is present. What a bloody mess, I come in complete peace and the second he sets eyes on me attacks me like I've wronged him somehow. Can't say that I haven't ever wronged the man, just no any time in the recent past have I done a single thing to deserve his wrath. Not that I couldn't have handled it and believe me had I really have wanted to hurt the Wanker I could have done so very efficiently and very quickly. I'm just trying to be on my best behavior for Buffy s'all no matter how sad that sounds. I'll prove to her yet that I am the right man for her even if that means I have to get trampled over a bit by her friends. Not that I'll lay down and stop fighting; I am still William the Bloody and I don't plan on taking shit from anyone. A little bit of shit sure because I'm strong enough to take it, but I don't plan on rolling over and becoming a complete nancy boy, just isn't me and the last thing she needs in her life is another Angel or Riley.
Her door's open; thank god because I honestly wouldn't know where to begin looking for they keys and even then she probably wouldn't appreciate me fondling her while asleep. Not that I would enjoy that too much either, I'd rather she'd be awake. I'm not that desperate that I'd stoop to that level. Besides I love Buffy too much for that.
I think for a brief moment about spending the night on the couch downstairs but decide against it not knowing what Buffy is going to be like in the morning. Maybe it's the lack of sleep that's got her being so nice to me, maybe it's just a couple days and then she'll be back to her old I hate Spike self. For some reason though, maybe just wishful thinking I think that this time is different. I have managed to get her out of her jacket and lay her on her bed. I leave the clothes alone thinking that I had better leave them on both for her sake and the Scoobies. No doubt they'll be here soon wondering what I've done to her and searching her over carefully to make sure there are no fresh bite marks. I love her, holy hell; I'm not going to kill her. I wish that they could just get that through their thick heads.
" I love you Slayer, always will."
I press a whisper of a kiss to her lips before retreating back down the stairs. I probably stayed too long as it is and I'd hate to meet the Scoobies on my way out. I hate this looking out for everyone, on my best poof behavior shit; time was when I didn't look out for anyone and never backed down. I glance up at Buffy's window from a tree I've stood under thousands of times and the only thing that enters my mind is that times change and that I've changed enough to know it.
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"This is perfect timing you realize, her falling in love with him coinciding with the Prophecy."
"But how do you know she loves him mistress?"
"Don't question me Sebastian, you should know better. She's in love with him and she'll do anything to protect him won't she, oh this is too perfect."
The two vampires sat watching as Spike walked away from Revello, the high mistress had dark hair almost as black as tar but her pale skin was a stunning contrast and she was dressed in Robes of finest Silk and Velvet. The deep blue cloak kept her disguised well in the dark and she stood tall above the second vampire, a minion.
"Do you want me to bring her to you?" he asked quietly
"No Sebastian, I believe we will wait for awhile, see how things play out, besides, my William has gotten himself into a bit of trouble hasn't he? Falling in love with a Slayer, tsk, tsk, the poor thing must be mad."
"Shall I contact Sylvia?"
"Yes I think she'd rather enjoy this. My dear Sylvia always has wanted to taste a Slayers blood. But..." she spat at the minion "do forget the others for the time being, we've got work to do on our own. My sweet William, I wonder how you shall ever live if your Slayer refuses to die?"