Dear Mr. Jesus (An Abused Child's Prayer)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Harry Potter. JK Rowling does. I also don't own this song, Dear Mr. Jesus (An Abused Child's Prayer), either. The words and music are by Richard Klender. But I do own this plot.

Author's Notes: In the end of this chapter, you might see a letter. The wrong spellings are deliberate. Sirius was three when he wrote it.

Dear Mr. Jesus (An Abused Child's Prayer)

Continuation…

[Dear Mr. Jesus, please tell me what to do]

Sirius stood still, shocked, even as his mother fell.

Then, he regained his thoughts and ran forward.

"Mommy!!!" Sirius reached his mother's side. "Mommy!"

Sirius, not knowing about the Killing Curse, tried to rouse his mother.

"Mommy!" Sirius said, urgently. "Wake up! Wake up, Mommy!"

But Mrs. Black wouldn't wake. She never would.

Sirius sniffed as he felt a heavy weight on his chest. Reality was finally settling in his mind.

"Mommy!" Sirius sobbed, burying his face in his hands.

Sirius was barely aware of the sounds of fighting in the other room. All he cared about was the fact that his mother was lying on the floor unconscious and that she wouldn't answer his calls!

Sirius didn't know how long he stayed in his position until his father arrived. It turned out that the fighting was over. 

"Sirius," Mr. Black gasped, "where's your – oh no…."

Mr. Black fell to his knees as he caught sight of his wife.

"She won't wake up!" Sirius sniffed as he looked at his father. "I tried to call her. But she won't answer. She won't wake up."

Mr. Black looked at his wife and asked Sirius, "What happened?"

"Someone came and hit her with a spell," Sirius answered.

"Can you remember what spell?" Mr. Black asked.

Now Sirius, though he had a funny memory with complicated words, had a great memory for important things, even for spells beyond his understanding.

"He said 'Avada', and after mother shouted 'Stupefy and Impedimenta', the man said 'Kedavra'. What's that, Daddy?" Sirius asked his father but was shocked when he saw tears running down Mr. Black's cheeks.

"I'm sorry," Mr. Black whispered to his dead wife. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to protect you…"

Sirius felt his own eyes water as he felt the great sadness of losing a very good mother.

"I'm sorry! It's all my fault!" Mr. Black cradled his wife's dead body near. "If I had just moved us out of the country after we got married… if only I had made sure that my family no longer wanted to kill us… if only I was a proper Black… I'm sorry, my love…" Mr. Black whispered. "I'm so sorry…."

Sirius stood beside his father in the cemetery. There was no funeral. Not even a proper burial ceremony. It was only Mr. Black and Sirius. The two of them buried Mrs. Black on their own though Mr. Black would have preferred Sirius standing watch than helping. Sirius insisted on helping though. And now… they were done. They were just there, watching the simple gravestone.

Finally, Sirius broke the silence.

"Daddy, Mommy's not coming back anymore, is she?" Sirius asked. "That wizard who shouted 'Avada Kedavra' killed her, didn't he?"

Mr. Black looked at Sirius, sadly contemplating on what to tell his son. Only three years old and already, Sirius had witnessed the deaths of those he loved, not to mention the deaths of the strange, hooded wizards who broke in their house. How can he possibly explain all of these to his son without breaking the child?

"I won't lie to you, Sirius," Mr. Black said slowly, kneeling down to come faced to face with his son. "Yes, the man killed your mother. The words he shouted were those of the Killing Curse. But, Sirius, I want you to know that no matter what, no matter where we are, whatever happened, we'll always be with you, your mother and I, that is. I am with you now. Your mother isn't here, Sirius. But she's alive here," Mr. Black pointed at Sirius's chest. "She'll always be watching over you. She'll always be alive if you keep her in your heart. Remember that, all right, son?"

Sirius stayed silent for the while, not moving. Then, he nodded.

"Yes, Daddy," Sirius bit his lip. "I'll remember. I'll never forget…."


[And please don't tell my daddy]

Sirius held onto his father as his father carried him to the house.

"We'll leave for Hogwarts, Sirius," Mr. Black said. "I need to talk to Albus Dumbledore."

"The man in the card?" Sirius looked at his father. "But I thought those wizards in the Chocolate Frog's cards were dead!"

"Well, they are supposed to be," Mr. Black smiled. "But Dumbledore is a special case. He did much for all of us that wizards decided to put his picture in one of the cards."

"Oh. You mean he really exists? He is alive now?" Sirius asked eagerly. "I can see him?"

"Of course," Mr. Black said. "You're coming with me, after all. I won't ever leave you alone."

"Good!" Sirius raised a fist in the air, waving it. "That means I can ask him how he defeated Grindelwald! Daddy! Did you know that Dumbledore discovered twelve uses for dragon's blood? And what's alchemy? I heard he was known for his work on it with a man called Nicolas Flamel! Is Nicolas Flamel also alive?"

Mr. Black laughed.

"Yes, Sirius, Nicolas Flamel's still living," Mr. Black told Sirius. "And you're not supposed to call Dumbledore by his name or last name."

"Oops," Sirius grinned, not looking sorry at all. "Hehe…. Sorry, Daddy. I'll remember that."

"I'm sure you will," Mr. Black smiled.

Mr. Black and Sirius reached the house late. By then, it was already dark.

Mr. Black placed his hand on the doorknob and frowned. He had placed a complicated charm around the house to warn them if there were strangers inside or if there were people who tried to break in.

Someone had broken into the house again. And this time, the stranger stayed and waited… for their arrival probably.

Mr. Black backed away from the house, putting a finger to his lips so Sirius would take the message and be silent. Sirius immediately understood. Sirius nodded to tell his father that he understood.

Mr. Black quickly cast a Silencing Spell and ran off, not bothering with the noise he was making since the silence spell would do its work in covering their noises. Mr. Black didn't stop running till he reached a small alley. He took a small broken piece of wood. He pointed his wand at it while Sirius watched closely.

"Portus," Mr. Black muttered.

The piece of wood glowed and trembled for a few seconds. Then, it was still.

"Sirius, hold tight and don't worry about what'll happen next, all right?" Mr. Black told Sirius.

Sirius nodded, tightening his grip on his father. Mr. Black took the small piece of wood.

Sirius felt a strange sensation. The ground was gone and the alley was disappearing, too; and Sirius felt as though he was flying through a blend of colours and sounds and then….

"Mr. Black, what can I do for you?" came a gentle voice.

Sirius found himself faced to face with Albus Dumbledore.

Mr. Black stayed with Sirius in Hogwarts for a few weeks, while Mr. Black made arrangements with Dumbledore about something. Whatever it was, Sirius didn't know. All he knew was that he was going home soon! He'll be helping his father pack and then, they'll be going to some other place to live!

"Sirius, perhaps you shouldn't come with me," Mr. Black said.

"But I want to!" Sirius said, pouting. "Besides, I can help! It'll be faster!"

It took a long time and even with Mr. Black's reasons for Sirius to stay in Hogwarts, Sirius still won the argument.

"I wonder where you got that stubborn head of yours," Mr. Black shook his head, smiling as he carried the three-year-old Sirius. "You're this stubborn and you're still three!"

"Mommy said I got my hardheadedness from you!" Sirius exclaimed, happily.

"What's that?"

Mr. Black and Sirius were back in their house, packing as quickly as they could. Danger was still inevitable and they needed to be away from the house as fast as possible.

"Daddy, look!" Sirius cried out, running up the stairs to find his father. "I got mother's wa-"

Sirius stopped when he opened the door of one room and found himself faced to face with a stranger.

"Stupefy!" Sirius yelled quickly.

The stranger collapsed.

"Daddy!" Sirius tried to run as fast as his three-year-old legs would carry him. "They're here!"

Mr. Black was already running towards Sirius.

"Let's go!" Mr. Black scooped Sirius up and ran down the stairs. Too late though. They were surrounded if they counted the wizards outside the house.

Mr. Black stopped as he reached down, putting Sirius down and getting his wand from his pocket.

"Expelliarmus!" Mr. Black pointed to one of the men trying to enter the house.

Mr. Black caught the wand that flew from the stranger's hands.

"Stupefy!" Mr. Black tried to stun as many people as he can. "Sirius, stay close! Stay behind me!"

Sirius followed, holding his father by the robes. Sirius held his mother's wand tightly, preparing himself. He knew that he could stun people. He tried that. He can't try any other spells since he wasn't sure if they would work and at this situation, they couldn't afford any mistakes. However, there was one advantage. Sirius was a fast learner. And he had a knack with spells. And he was also very, very observant. He knew the ways to hold the wand and how to use them.

"Stupefy!" Sirius pointed at one of the men passing through the back door. "Um… what else now…. Um… Ex- um… expe- Expelliarmus!"

Sirius was trying to remember the spell for the total body bind when one of the strangers managed to separate Sirius from his father.

"Sirius!" Mr. Black yelled. "Stupefy! Sirius!"

"Um… Petrificus Totalus!" Sirius pointed at the men and tried to run to his father. "Impedimenta! Go away now!" Sirius yelled to the men. "I don't know any more spells!"

The strangers laughed as Sirius said that phrase. This moment caused them to stop for a while. Sirius smirked. It would have been funny to see a three year old do such but Sirius was not your average three year old. He's been through a lot!

Sirius threw the dungbomb his father bought for him when they were still in Hogwarts.

Sirius ran to the living room and found his father still battling some strangers.

"Daddy!" Sirius ran to help.

Mr. Black looked over his shoulder to see where Sirius was. That was his biggest mistake.

Sirius stood still, mouth opened wide in shock, as his father was hit with numerous spells. Mr. Black flew back and hit the wall hard, blood running down his face.


[But my mommy hits me, too.]

Sirius ran to his father.

"Daddy!" Sirius tried to shake his father by the shoulders. "Wake up!"

Sirius looked at the man who killed his father.

The man raised his wand.

"Avada," he started.

"Stupefy!" another voice exclaimed.

The man in front of Sirius collapsed. Sirius watched as another man battled the strangers.

"Daddy!" Sirius shook his father harder. "Wake up! We can get out now! Someone's helping us!"

But Mr. Black would never wake.

Sirius looked back and found that the battle had ended. The man who saved Sirius approached the boy slowly.

Sirius shrank back, feeling strange around the newcomer. The man just saved him. So why does Sirius feel cold?

The man knelt down in front of Sirius.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I don't think your father's going to wake up," the man started. "I'm your father's brother. I'm your uncle. He told me to take care of you if ever something would happen to him or your mother."

Sirius clenched his hands into fists. It can't be….

"I'm so sorry, Sirius," the man said. "I'm sorry I was too late to help you. But don't worry. I'll give you a home. You can call me Daddy. I'll be your father now."

Sirius allowed the man to carry him out of the house. Just as they were on the doorway, Sirius looked back.

Tears fell on the clenched fist that held a noble lady's wand….

Dear Mr. Jesus,

Daddy and Mommy sed I could write to you if I had problems. I wrote to you before, do you remember? I was telling you about the little girl on the news.

Mr. Jesus, Mommy told me once that those who die go to wher you are. I thought only Muggles belived in that. But I ges I can belive that now. So that mins Lyra is with you now, rayt? And Mommy and Daddy must be there with you, too. Daddy sed that as long as I love people and keep them in my hart, they will always be alive. But why does it hurt so much, Mr. Jesus? Why? It doesn't feel like they're alive. So why did Daddy say that?

Mr. Jesus, I visited our old house today. Uncle Alphard brought me there. He told me never to forget what Mommy and Daddy taught me. Of course I won't. He also said that everything Daddy and Mommy used to teach me is right no matter what Uncle Daddy and Auntie Mommy says. Uncle Alphard told me never to forget my roots and that someday, I'll find my family again. I don't understand him, Mr. Jesus. But it's okay. He's kind to me, unlike Uncle Daddy or Auntie Mommy.

Oh yeah, I forgot. I have a little brother now. His name's Regulus. He's Auntie Mommy's little boy. He sure is mean. But then, I didn't expect him to be real nice. Mr. Jesus, I thought Uncle Daddy said he'd give me a home. But why is he so abyusiv? I do not endrestand it at all.

Today, I saw Auntie Mommy make a little hole on a tapestry. I saw my name in it. My name was under Uncle Daddy and Auntie Mommy's name. But I didn't see my Daddy or Mommy's name. Auntie Mommy made a hole on someone's name. I don't know why. What did the man do?

Mr. Jesus, I'll tell you a secret. Please don't tell anyone. I don't like it here. Many of them are mean to me. I thought they want to give me a home. Perhaps they layd to me. They are layars cos they sed they'll give me a home but they did not. I don't think I will stay hir for a bery long, long taym. Mr. Jesus, please don't tell my Mommy and Daddy that I plan to run away. They wanted me to be a gud boy. But I don't want to get hurt. I'm afraid of them Uncle Daddy and Auntie Mommy. I'm scered. Please, don't tell my parents that I plan to go away when I grow up. And please don't tell them that Uncle Daddy and Auntie Mommy beats me up. Especially Auntie Mommy. Please don't tell Daddy and Mommy that Auntie Mommy likes hurting me every day and night. Just tell my Daddy and Mommy that I'll try to be gud.

Mr. Jesus, please tell my Daddy and Mommy that I love them.

Sirius

TBC

A/N: Please review!