Disclaimer: BTVS is not my property nor will it ever be.
I haven't moved from the Slayer's side since I arrived, and won't even when the Scoobies get here even though at this particular moment I don't exactly have a reason for staying. She's made her feelings quite clear with a comment that I now wish I would have missed. How unbelievably daft of me in the first place to actually think that my feeling toward her were returned. How could she love someone else, especially me, when she's never gotten over the poof? Always knew they would have a connection but I guess I never realized that she still loved him that much. I wonder if she even knows I'm here or if I'm here only for the Bit's sake.
For someone that was so high on life a few moments ago I sure got a slap to the face right quickly. I won't leave her; I won't run away like I would like to, although I'm sure it would make pretty much everything better right now. Maybe once she's better and I can leave without a guilty conscious. But for now I just sit and wait. I can still taste the slight hint of her on my lips and I lick them unknowingly savoring what I will never have again. Her smell surrounds me, choking me, intoxicating me. I need to get out of here and I can only pray that the Watcher and the rest of the gang arrive soon. Her years of telling me to get away from her are finally sinking in, and for probably the third time in my life it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest. Torture was bad, but this is definitely worse.
Finally the door opens and the first person I see is Dawn followed by the rest of the gang. The Watcher has already removed his jacket and before I can protest, I am being pushed from the sofa to make room for her friends. I stand quietly by the door waiting to make my exit as soon as I hear that she'll be all right. It seems like forever until the Watcher speaks and when he finally does I know that it's not good news.
"Well, in all probability we won't be able to fix this until whatever influence she's under wears off and that could be um...anywhere between tonight and weeks from now. I...I just don't know. There are no telltale signs of what is affecting her, but my guess is that it has to do with the council."
Everyone of the group turns their heads at this suggestion wondering what the council possibly could have to do with her sickness. I am the only one in the room besides Rupert that knows why the Council has anything to do with it. I can just see it now, the Watcher tells everyone why Buffy went to London and I become their next latest target for pin the stake on the Vampire. Great, that's just what I was hoping would happen today.
"Uh, Giles...you wouldn't want to explain about the council would you?"
"Not really" I hear him mutter before continuing "Buffy, as you all know went on a little trip recently. She went to see the Council in London."
"What? Why? Why would she go to see them? It's not like they got together often for social lunches or anything."
"Well," he began once again glancing in my direction as if in consideration of what he wanted to say "she um...she wanted to question them regarding the upcoming apocalypse." I can feel myself relax, thankful to the Watcher for lying and wondering why he did. He had no reason to save my hide and most likely would be looking for a cure on his own now that no one else knew what to look for to fix this. Must remember to thank him for that, I remind myself as I sit in one of the chairs closest to Buffy. She hasn't moved since they arrived and at least for her sake if not for mine, she's stopped talking about Angelus for the time being.
I find that I've stopped listening to the conversation going on around me and I just sit watching her breathe. God she's beautiful, even if she is unconscious. I could never stop loving her, even if she's made it painfully clear time and time again that she wants nothing to do with me. I won't leave her though, even though I've thought differently most of the time since I heard she was still in love with the poof. She may not love me but she sure as hell is going to have to deal with me from now on. Besides, I'm not going to leave right before she's supposedly destined to die because of this new prophecy. Maybe through saving her I can prove to her that I really do love her. Maybe she'll actually believe it.
"Hey!" someone shouts and I look up. Red is pointing in my general direction and I freeze. "Look guys, she's trying to say something. Her mouth is moving."
Immediately everyone is hovering around us, trying desperately to hear what the Slayer might have to say although I can't even hear her over all the commotion. I listen carefully, leaning forward until I am directly above her. It's only the briefest of a whisper and I can barely even hear it but I do.
"What is she saying?"
"I can't make it out, it looks like she's saying something with an A." Willow Announces to the group.
"Move over" Xander pushes his way to the front of the pile "I can read lips get out of the way." He watches for a few moments before deciding on a word. "She's saying Handle."
"Handle?"
"Yeah."
"Oh for Christ's sake!" I speak up "she's not saying handle, she's saying ANGEL. Angel got it? As in Angelus, her broody ex."
"How do you know?" he immediately jumps up, looking into my face and I flash him a quick glimpse of my Vampire mask. He immediately backs down. Good, I really wouldn't have wanted to hurt him although I would have had no problem doing so.
"Knock it off the both of you!" Rupert's voice booms through the room. "This isn't helping Buffy, it's taking time away from finding a cure for this. Spike, you have the enhanced hearing, we need you to listen to her, the rest of you be quiet."
"Why would she be talking about Angel? I just don't understand." Red whispers to her girlfriend and Giles Shushes her.
It seems that she's given up talking while everyone else was fighting but I sit on the sofa next to her waiting quietly. Nothing comes for a long while and then just as everyone is about to give up she speaks again. Angel, another Angel and we're getting nowhere. I lean down, whispering into her ear reassuring words.
"You're going to be fine luv, I'm right here and not going anywhere."
"I know you are." She gently responds as if we were the only two people in the world. "Right here."
Well, that's at least something isn't it? Maybe if I can just keep talking to her I can bring her out of this. I ask her about where she is and she gives no reply, I ask her whom she's with and once again get an "ANGEL" in reply. That one word is starting to annoy me more that I could have ever thought.
"Why is Angel there?"
"He takes care of me."
"Why does he have to take care of you?"
"Because I'm dying."
I'm taken aback by her answer and the look on the Watchers face tells me that this truly is a serious problem. If Buffy thinks she's dying in this alternate reality, then she really is in danger of dying here on her couch. We need to draw her out of this but for the life of me I can't think of how. Then a thought hits me and as much as I hate to consider it, for Buffy's sake I have to. I jump from the couch and amid heavy questions head to the kitchen. I punch the numbers into the phone without even thinking and when I hear the voice on the other line clear my throat. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I feel almost sick asking for his help but I do it nonetheless.
"Buffy's sick." I hear my voice echo empty into the phone line. "And you're the only one who can reach her."
He thankfully doesn't question my request but says instead "I'll be there right away."
I hang up the phone shaking, I haven't talked to my sire in a long time, and I haven't minded the distance between us, but just knowing he can help her when I can't aches deep inside. I wonder what it is that makes him so much better than me and I slowly head back into the living room. Half a dozen faces greet me and I say nothing as first before settling myself back by Buffy's side. I stroke her face just daring someone to say something but no one does. If they want to laugh at a lovesick fool then let them do it, just not here, not now. Eventually I lift my face to theirs.
"Angel's on his way."
"You think that will help?" Red is the first one to ask. "Do you think he can do anything for her?"
"Yes." Giles agrees "Yes, Spike may be right. If she's relying on him in this other reality, then maybe his being here in this reality can bring her back to us. He may be the only way."
"Then what now?" Anya asks, "What do we do until then?"
"We wait" I say and turn back to Buffy. "We wait."
I haven't moved from the Slayer's side since I arrived, and won't even when the Scoobies get here even though at this particular moment I don't exactly have a reason for staying. She's made her feelings quite clear with a comment that I now wish I would have missed. How unbelievably daft of me in the first place to actually think that my feeling toward her were returned. How could she love someone else, especially me, when she's never gotten over the poof? Always knew they would have a connection but I guess I never realized that she still loved him that much. I wonder if she even knows I'm here or if I'm here only for the Bit's sake.
For someone that was so high on life a few moments ago I sure got a slap to the face right quickly. I won't leave her; I won't run away like I would like to, although I'm sure it would make pretty much everything better right now. Maybe once she's better and I can leave without a guilty conscious. But for now I just sit and wait. I can still taste the slight hint of her on my lips and I lick them unknowingly savoring what I will never have again. Her smell surrounds me, choking me, intoxicating me. I need to get out of here and I can only pray that the Watcher and the rest of the gang arrive soon. Her years of telling me to get away from her are finally sinking in, and for probably the third time in my life it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest. Torture was bad, but this is definitely worse.
Finally the door opens and the first person I see is Dawn followed by the rest of the gang. The Watcher has already removed his jacket and before I can protest, I am being pushed from the sofa to make room for her friends. I stand quietly by the door waiting to make my exit as soon as I hear that she'll be all right. It seems like forever until the Watcher speaks and when he finally does I know that it's not good news.
"Well, in all probability we won't be able to fix this until whatever influence she's under wears off and that could be um...anywhere between tonight and weeks from now. I...I just don't know. There are no telltale signs of what is affecting her, but my guess is that it has to do with the council."
Everyone of the group turns their heads at this suggestion wondering what the council possibly could have to do with her sickness. I am the only one in the room besides Rupert that knows why the Council has anything to do with it. I can just see it now, the Watcher tells everyone why Buffy went to London and I become their next latest target for pin the stake on the Vampire. Great, that's just what I was hoping would happen today.
"Uh, Giles...you wouldn't want to explain about the council would you?"
"Not really" I hear him mutter before continuing "Buffy, as you all know went on a little trip recently. She went to see the Council in London."
"What? Why? Why would she go to see them? It's not like they got together often for social lunches or anything."
"Well," he began once again glancing in my direction as if in consideration of what he wanted to say "she um...she wanted to question them regarding the upcoming apocalypse." I can feel myself relax, thankful to the Watcher for lying and wondering why he did. He had no reason to save my hide and most likely would be looking for a cure on his own now that no one else knew what to look for to fix this. Must remember to thank him for that, I remind myself as I sit in one of the chairs closest to Buffy. She hasn't moved since they arrived and at least for her sake if not for mine, she's stopped talking about Angelus for the time being.
I find that I've stopped listening to the conversation going on around me and I just sit watching her breathe. God she's beautiful, even if she is unconscious. I could never stop loving her, even if she's made it painfully clear time and time again that she wants nothing to do with me. I won't leave her though, even though I've thought differently most of the time since I heard she was still in love with the poof. She may not love me but she sure as hell is going to have to deal with me from now on. Besides, I'm not going to leave right before she's supposedly destined to die because of this new prophecy. Maybe through saving her I can prove to her that I really do love her. Maybe she'll actually believe it.
"Hey!" someone shouts and I look up. Red is pointing in my general direction and I freeze. "Look guys, she's trying to say something. Her mouth is moving."
Immediately everyone is hovering around us, trying desperately to hear what the Slayer might have to say although I can't even hear her over all the commotion. I listen carefully, leaning forward until I am directly above her. It's only the briefest of a whisper and I can barely even hear it but I do.
"What is she saying?"
"I can't make it out, it looks like she's saying something with an A." Willow Announces to the group.
"Move over" Xander pushes his way to the front of the pile "I can read lips get out of the way." He watches for a few moments before deciding on a word. "She's saying Handle."
"Handle?"
"Yeah."
"Oh for Christ's sake!" I speak up "she's not saying handle, she's saying ANGEL. Angel got it? As in Angelus, her broody ex."
"How do you know?" he immediately jumps up, looking into my face and I flash him a quick glimpse of my Vampire mask. He immediately backs down. Good, I really wouldn't have wanted to hurt him although I would have had no problem doing so.
"Knock it off the both of you!" Rupert's voice booms through the room. "This isn't helping Buffy, it's taking time away from finding a cure for this. Spike, you have the enhanced hearing, we need you to listen to her, the rest of you be quiet."
"Why would she be talking about Angel? I just don't understand." Red whispers to her girlfriend and Giles Shushes her.
It seems that she's given up talking while everyone else was fighting but I sit on the sofa next to her waiting quietly. Nothing comes for a long while and then just as everyone is about to give up she speaks again. Angel, another Angel and we're getting nowhere. I lean down, whispering into her ear reassuring words.
"You're going to be fine luv, I'm right here and not going anywhere."
"I know you are." She gently responds as if we were the only two people in the world. "Right here."
Well, that's at least something isn't it? Maybe if I can just keep talking to her I can bring her out of this. I ask her about where she is and she gives no reply, I ask her whom she's with and once again get an "ANGEL" in reply. That one word is starting to annoy me more that I could have ever thought.
"Why is Angel there?"
"He takes care of me."
"Why does he have to take care of you?"
"Because I'm dying."
I'm taken aback by her answer and the look on the Watchers face tells me that this truly is a serious problem. If Buffy thinks she's dying in this alternate reality, then she really is in danger of dying here on her couch. We need to draw her out of this but for the life of me I can't think of how. Then a thought hits me and as much as I hate to consider it, for Buffy's sake I have to. I jump from the couch and amid heavy questions head to the kitchen. I punch the numbers into the phone without even thinking and when I hear the voice on the other line clear my throat. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I feel almost sick asking for his help but I do it nonetheless.
"Buffy's sick." I hear my voice echo empty into the phone line. "And you're the only one who can reach her."
He thankfully doesn't question my request but says instead "I'll be there right away."
I hang up the phone shaking, I haven't talked to my sire in a long time, and I haven't minded the distance between us, but just knowing he can help her when I can't aches deep inside. I wonder what it is that makes him so much better than me and I slowly head back into the living room. Half a dozen faces greet me and I say nothing as first before settling myself back by Buffy's side. I stroke her face just daring someone to say something but no one does. If they want to laugh at a lovesick fool then let them do it, just not here, not now. Eventually I lift my face to theirs.
"Angel's on his way."
"You think that will help?" Red is the first one to ask. "Do you think he can do anything for her?"
"Yes." Giles agrees "Yes, Spike may be right. If she's relying on him in this other reality, then maybe his being here in this reality can bring her back to us. He may be the only way."
"Then what now?" Anya asks, "What do we do until then?"
"We wait" I say and turn back to Buffy. "We wait."