Chapter 5: Rumours and Yucca Plants
"Hey!" Averman greeted Luis cheerfully, and excused himself from the group of people he was talking to. "I wasn't sure you were going to turn up."
"Am I late?" Luis asked. He was convinced that Averman said drama started at five p.m., and it was only five-to now.
"No, I just thought Aisha might have kidnapped you and had her wicked way with you," he replied with a grin. "You may well be bored though."
"It can't be worse than doing my homework." Luis grinned.
"Well, we're about ready to start, why don't you have a seat over there…" Averman gestured to some brightly painted blocks as wood that various people were using for chairs. "There's a couple of other spectators, if we bore you, you can talk to them."
"Ok." Luis took a seat on one of the blocks and had a look round. There were five other guys sitting near him. It occurred to him that they were probably waiting for their girlfriends and he was the only spectator there because he was (a) showing some roommate solidarity; and (b) avoiding a girl.
"You're new," a guy to his right commented. Luis vaguely recognised him from one of his classes, although couldn't remember which one. "I'm James."
"Luis," Luis replied. "And yeah, first time watching the drama practice."
"So, which one's your girlfriend?" James asked.
"Oh, none of them," Luis replied hurriedly. "I'm waiting for Lester Averman."
James looked a little surprised. "Oh, right." He brightened. "Well good for you."
Luis had no time to wonder what that meant because Mr Redfern strode in, clapping his hands briskly and ordering the drama members to form a circle. Two girls started, one seemed a little lost at first, but the other lead the way firmly, by gabbling on about her upcoming wedding. After a few moments, it became clear that the girls were acting out getting ready for the bachelorette party. Averman got tagged in straight away, instantly shedding his usual tone and becoming an outrageously camp best friend. He danced around calling both girls 'darling', giving them fashion advice and asking if his ass looked fat in his new trousers, even going so far as to tip Mr Refern a saucy wink. Moments later someone else got tagged in, Martin someone – another one that Luis recognised but couldn't place exactly. He became the jilted ex and started begging the girl for a second chance – while the other girl accused him of hitting on her throughout his entire relationship with the bride-to-be.
Eventually the whole drama crew got both tagged in and out of the play, then Averman returned, pausing to take a folder from the girl next to him to use as a prop. This time he was the cataclysmically stupid pizza delivery boy who was certain that somebody named Mike Hunt had ordered an anchovy and pineapple pizza. This culminated with the jilted ex taking him away to have a talk about the birds and the bees to explain the joke.
Luis was amazed. He had never seen Averman so confident before. It was clear he was the star of the class, even the guys who were just waiting for their girlfriends were apt to pay attention when he was taking the floor.
"You were brilliant," Luis told him sincerely when the class ended.
Averman opened his mouth to reply, but James walked over and clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're happy, man." He said with a smile.
Averman looked momentarily baffled. "Thanks," he said, for lack of a better response.
He turned back to Luis when James had moved off to meet his girlfriend. "So what was that about?"
"No idea," Luis replied as they began to walk back to the dorms. "I have to meet Annie. She's met someone."
"She mentioned that the other day," Averman replied. "Any idea who the lucky girl is?"
"She's being oddly cagey about it," Luis replied. "And by the way, can I watch drama next week too?"
Averman looked surprised. "If you're sure you want to, come alone."
They came to a halt outside Annie's door. It was painted standard-issue white, but over that was a cartoon depiction of Annie in cheerleader attire, waving pop-poms, standing in front of a large purple butterfly.
"Ah," said Averman. "I'd forgotten that Terri was her roommate."
"She's probably out." Luis knocked on the door and went in. "This is not fair." He announced. Averman followed him into the room and they both took it in. Annie and Terri's room was about five times the size of their Shoebox, it was painted in a light blue, with matching blinds. They had plenty of space for their furniture, even space for both a computer and a TV and VCR.
"Hey guys," Annie said cheerily. "How was drama?"
"Why do you have a room this big?" Averman demanded. "We're on the hockey team! We win awards and trophies."
"I'm on the cheerleading squad. I also win trophies," Annie replied.
"Her dad is also one of the major money guys on the board." Luis supplied.
"Well, that helps too," she conceded. "But I have my price to pay for this room, see…" She gestured to the wall behind them. Alice in Wonderland appeared to be the main theme, but there were many Disney characters scattered all over the wall, including Princess Jasmine and Aladdin sitting on the magic carpet, Belle and the Beast dancing and Dumbo hallucinating many pink elephants.
"You're right." Averman said. "That's a steep price. Give me the Shoebox any day. Speaking of, I have to go now, all this Disney is making my brain hurt. Annie, I hope you and Luis enjoy talking about the object of your unquenchable lustage."
"Thanks, Averman. See you later." Annie grinned.
"Don't glue the door to the wall," Luis added, by way of a goodbye. "Ok, spill." He said, flopping down on her bed.
Luis returned to his dorm very weary that night. Annie refused to give the name or even a brief description of the new love of her life, however, she had gone on in great detail about every single conversation they had had so far.
"Did you know that we are now officially gay?" Averman demanded in tones of amused indignation at lunch the next day.
Luis looked baffled. "I don't remember being unofficially gay."
"Neither do I. But I suppose that's irrelevant since we've upgraded to being Official," Averman replied.
"This is rather sudden," Luis commented. "I'm sure I would have noticed something like that." Then he brightened. "Of course, there's a chance that Aisha will hear the rumour."
"She's over there, shall I hold your hand?" Averman asked, noting that Aisha was sitting with Annie.
"You're a true friend." Luis grinned. "So, when did we become gay?"
"I don't know," Averman admitted as they walked over to the Ducks table, having decided not to sit with Annie because of Aisha. "But apparently you came out to James yesterday at drama practice."
"Who came out?" Julie asked, overhearing the tail end of their conversation as they reached the table.
"Luis did," Averman replied. "To the boyfriend of one of the girls in my drama class."
Julie looked interested. "Why didn't you tell us first?"
"Because he was shy, poor dear," Averman replied, taking a seat. "He thought he'd tell a complete stranger and see how that went."
"And how did it go?" Connie asked, also joining the conversation.
"It went well," Averman responded before Luis could open his mouth. "James was very supportive."
"Oh, shut up," Luis said tiredly. "Don't make me poke you with a fork."
"As threats go, that wasn't very intimidating," Averman said. "I thought gay men were supposed to be very humorous?"
"If you don't drop it, I'll tell them that you're my bitch."
Averman looked scandalised. "That's just not true!" he protested, turning to Connie and Julie. "He's my bitch."
Julie and Connie quickly lost interest at this point. Gossip about team-mates was only interesting when it was true.
"See, Luis," Averman said helpfully. "You could have told them, they don't seem to care."
Luis poked Averman with a fork.
Annie heard a summons answering her knock and let herself into the Shoebox. "No Luis?" she asked, looking around.
"Sure, he's here." Averman replied distractedly. "I think he might be in the West Wing, but our domicile is so huge it's easy to lose people."
"I suppose I asked for that," Annie said, flopping down on Luis' bed. "So, what's this I hear about you and my best friend getting snugly?"
"Ah, that," Averman said faintly.
"What's up?" Annie asked.
Averman shrugged.
"Do you want me to go away?"
He shrugged again.
"Do you want me to shut up?" Annie realised she was being very annoying. When she got no reply, she got up and made for the door – there was no point sticking around if Averman was just going to stare at the wall – and speaking of, the hole seemed larger.
"Annie," he said suddenly.
"Yeah?" She paused at the door.
"Where did you hear the rumour from?"
"Cassie, on the cheerleading squad. She has a friend in your drama group. They naturally came running to me to find out if it was true."
"What if it was?" he asked softly. She paused and looked at him carefully. His face was pale and there wasn't even the slightest hint of his usual humour glinting in his eyes. "Not about Luis," he added hurriedly.
She once more took a seat on Luis' bed and faced him. "So what if it was?" She replied gently.
He shrugged again. "I don't know if it is," he said finally. "I just know it didn't bother me having people think it."
"All that means for sure is that you're not a complete ass," Annie said. "If it means anything else, that's cool, and if it doesn't, that's cool too."
Averman made no reply and Annie realised that he wasn't going to say anything further. She got up once more and headed for the door. "I'll see you later, it's a cliché but my door is always open."
"Don't tempt the gods," he replied, with a spark of his usual humour. "Luis and I found that saying to be literally true a couple of days ago."
Averman had stopped staring at the wall and had progressed to staring at the ceiling when Luis finally appeared. He had no idea what had made him open up to Annie that way. It was one of those (many) times when his mouth had been quicker than his mind. He hadn't realised what was bugging him until he had started talking to Annie.
It actually ran a bit deeper than he had verbalised to her. Throughout the day, things had begun to fall into place. He didn't have a spark with any girl, although he was friends with quite a few, mostly girls from drama. And no particular girl made him want to go over to her and start a conversation.
And talking to Annie pin-pointed what was wrong. He didn't have sparks with girls, period.
In fact, he was rather leaning towards the idea that the rumours might not be so wrong after all. He was leaning towards the idea that he might be having sparky feelings towards his roommate.
He had decided on a course of action though. He was going to act as he usually did and see how long the feelings lasted. If they went away, he would know it was just a phase brought on by a lack of love life and some interesting rumours. If they stayed… well, at least he'd know.
"Urgh!" Luis muttered, falling face first onto the bed.
"Bad day?" Averman asked.
"I got a D on my English paper, then Aisha offered to tutor me – apparently, she loves Shakespeare, then Shelley, Mindy's sister apprehended me and asked if I dumped her sister for you… and then Charlie cornered me and gave me a little speech on how proud he was of us." Luis groaned into his pillow. "You?"
"I keep getting people patting me on the shoulder and telling me they're happy for me." Actually, it had only been James (again) and his buddy, Nick, but Averman didn't want to let Luis feel like he was the only one feeling the after-effects of the rumours.
"I regret encouraging Charlie. The guy has no sense of humour. His speech went on for hours, I was sure he was going to bring out cue cards or maybe a multi-media presentation at one point."
"You need cheering up," Averman said. "Let's go to the Bash Brothers' dorm and beat the crap out of their plant."
Luis looked rather interested. "They'll let us join in?"
"Let's go find out."
They moseyed along to the room that Fulton and Portman shared, and walked straight in to a huge row.
"Averman, back me up," Portman said on spotting him. "The whole point of the game was to kill the plant, right?"
"Luis, surely the whole point of a game is to alleviate boredom, therefore ending the game is no good, right?" Fulton replied instantly.
"Is now a bad time?" Averman asked.
"Portman killed the plant," Fulton reported.
"Great. Well done!" Averman patted him on the shoulder, but regretted it instantly as Fulton's furious eyes bore into his.
"It's not great! Now we can't play." Fulton gestured to a mess of leaves, soil and broken plant pot on the desk. "He completely mutilated it."
"What the hell did you throw at it?" Averman asked in genuine interest.
"The Bible," Portman replied.
"You're gonna burn in hell for all eternity," Fulton threatened.
"Or maybe God was backing me up," Portman countered.
Luis finally spoke up. "So the only actual problem here is that you don't have a plant to beat up?"
When the Bash Brothers responded in affirmative, Luis gestured out into the hallway. In true Eden Hall tradition, it was decorated throughout the hallways to impress any visitors that did not venture into the rooms. There were plants in baskets hanging from the ceiling, flowers in vases, plants in pots on window sills and most impressively, there were yucca plants (which were more like small trees – about three or four feet in height sitting in large terracotta pots) at each corner of the hallway.
The Bash Brothers exchanged a glance. "The yucca," they decided in unison.
Averman had to agree that it was a good choice, it would take the Bashes years to dismember it. He and Luis began collecting up the books that were scattered about the room, as the Bashes carried the plant to its new home.
"Like Mr Stiles is not going to notice that it's missing," Luis said. "He'll want to do dorm inspections until it returns."
Fulton gave him a withering look. "Who the hell would want to steal a plant?"
"Valid point." Luis conceded.
The Bash Brothers sat down with Luis and Averman, and began to discuss the new rules – this plant was obviously going to be harder to break than the flowering fern. After an hour, only one thing was agreed, Portman was never to throw the Bible at a plant again.
Notes & Thanks: Nearly there! Slight slashy thoughts. Thanks to the following people for their reviews:
Elf Toshiba: Glad I'm making you laugh. One day, when is behaving itself for longer than two seconds in a row, I will be able to check out your fic and review!
Terra: we're here! There was slight slashiness!
Gabby: More banter is present! I can't write a chapter without banter.
Spikeybabe: I wouldn't have thought of this pairing either if it wasn't for Gabby.
Angie: Thanks for the feedback, here be the update!
Meme: You felt sorry for the plant in the last chapter? It be dead now! And shhh! Don't tell Kory!
devilish-angel: herbage? You like the word? Herbage, herbage, herbage, herbage, herbage, herbage, herbage! (Thanks for the fb!)
Schiz: Thanks for the review! Note to self: Break 's collective kneecaps unless it works for longer than 10 minutes in a row so I can catch up on reading.
And a special shout-out to lycanthrope, I haven't forgotten your email, I've just been horribly busy, and I figured you'd rather have a 'proper' email from me, than five distracted lines comprising of "I agree about such-and-such and Kris Lemche is very sexy'.